Happy weekend to everyone! I hope you’re not bogged down at
work like I am today, and getting a chance to roll into Independence Week with
family, friends, and BBQ.
What’s your favorite
yesterday’s answers, please scroll right to the comments.
has latched on to wrestling’s greatest showstoppers, but deep down inside we’re
entertainment fans at heart; and some of wrestling’s greatest slugs can win us
over. And yesterday we were talking about those awful wrestlers you loved
anyway. We had a great turnout, so let’s get to it.
Norm was just such a fun character, and Shaw nailed it and was clearly having
fun with the role.
Champions VII, and I was completely enamored with it. The idea that the man was
so dangerous they needed doctors nearby with cattle prods to keep the man in
check before they hauled him back to the asylum was a great twist on the normal
“monster” character – and exactly the kind of thing that could be recycled
today on a new wrestler, or someone like Kane.
Andre The Giant, the later years. This is
more nostalgia from me, because as a kid renting Coliseum Video’s, seeing an
Andre match was always a big deal to me. It didn’t matter that all he could do
was hang on the ropes and choke people: He was an intimidating giant who made
even the largest superstars look like midgets. His presence alone was enough to
make me want to watch his matches, and even now, I could look past his physical
limitations because of the aura surrounding him that I don’t think anyone else
has ever been able to capture.
skills and a cheesey gimmick, but I bought it as a kid. He’s still one of my
all time favorites.
I told him how much I loved his match with the Undertaker at SummerSlam. He
looked up at me, and through that facepaint, and wild eyes, he informed me
autographed photos were $10 each.
me. Just hot garbage in the ring but the gimmick was a riot. To be really fair
almost every Memphis wrestler was kinda bad in the ring but all of them were so
good at getting heat.
Belmont: I know he’s not considered
“terrible” but everybody seems to hate on him, Kevin Nash. And I’m
not even talking about where he was trying to put on good matches as Diesel.
I’m talking about when he kinda stopped caring in WCW. I was still a big fan of
Appreciation Month on my ShootingStarPress webpage, concluding with a poll to
determine once and for all who the greatest wrestler of all time was. Choices
included Kevin Nash, Oz, Vinnie Vegas, Diesel, and Master Blaster Steel. And of
course, his announcing was top of the line.
being “carried” to good matches. Fuck no. The dude had the look, the
charisma, and a good amount of ability in the ring. He only really had bad
matches with guys he had no chemistry with. So Sid, Vader, Shawn Michaels, Bret
Hart allll just carried him, right on their backs? No. Sid is awesome. However,
he is usually put on these lists.
who named the Master and Ruler of the world as the greatest slug of all time. I
tend to agree, Sid worked with good workers, and struggled against the useless
lumps, despite having half the brain of Kevin Nash. There was a Montreal
promotion that aired a pay-per-view in Canada in 2003 I believe, and one match
was a battle royale which featured Sid just powerbombing everyone for 10
minutes. The fans ate it up. I also got to witness him crush Johnny Devine at
an indy show, and after nearly blowing out my lungs in the front row chanting “SID”
– he made a beeline for my friend and I, gave us each two giant sweaty fist
bumps, and demanded to know “WHO’S THE MAN?” Sid, of course.
when teaming with Foley as the perpetual deer in headlights. That gimmick could
only work in ECW, but it was fun for what it was.
Jim was actually a “terrible” wrestler. I’m sorry, just because he
didn’t do the 450 Corkscrew Shooting Star Phoenix Splash off the top of a 20
foot ladder to put his opponent through a stack of flaming barbwire wrapped
tables 7 nights a week, doesn’t mean the guy was a bad worker. He just employed
a less is more style. It was as much about the moves he didn’t do, rather than
just executing random Avalanche Burning Hammer Psycho Powerbomb Destroyer
Drivers 365 nights a year. His ring-work actually meant something,
accomplishing just as much with a simple Bearhug and a couple of well placed
dance steps as your modern “extreme” grappler accomplishes by hitting
12 No Hands Flying Super Dragon Sliced Bread DDT Deathdrops.
Hillbilly Jim, I don’t think anyone from the era would disagree the man was a
good ring general. He was perfect for the over the top 80’s era, and could put
on a show when needed to.
As a young Stranger, I was a huge mark
for Hercules Hernandez, both as a heel and face. Looking back on his matches
today, he was horrible. Especially in his bloated physique toward the end of
his run after the Power & Glory split.
run. From day one he just completely owned that character.
was simply death with him at the top of the card. It seemed the more the fans
revolted, the harder McMahon pushed him just to prove us wrong.
Valiant, NWA, early-mid eighties, Charisma with a capital C, but when I look
back now, simply horrible in the ring. I still mark out for his matches though,
loved Mongo too. I can’t get enough of his promos or him on commentary. I don’t
know if he’s brain damaged, or just really stupid or what but that dude made me
laugh every time he came on TV. The first time I remember seeing him was with
LT during the Bam Bam angle and omg was he hysterical. His backstage promo is
the best part of wm11. My all time favorite mongo moment was when he slapped a
coffee out of goldbergs hand and yelled in his face “YOU DON’T DRINK COFFEE
IN FRONT OF A MAN”
standard whipping boy. One night he promised Mean Gene he’d whoop all the
pretty boys, starting with Randy Savage (the hell??). He carried around that
Haliburton like he’d never heard of a chequing account. And please don’t get me
started on the stupid ferret. Still, nothing can top the coffee segment with
the British Bulldog on Thunder in 98. We all learned a valuable lesson about
when it’s appropriate to drink coffee.
loved Balls Mahoney. We didn’t get ecw here on the west coast until the tnn
days, but my best friend had an illegal cable box and we used to watch all of
their ppvs. As a 12/13 year old, there was something great about him. The
airbrushed chairs, the tattered jean shorts, the fact that everyone yelled
balls whenever he punched someone. I still love the guy.
with a likeness of himself and is an asshole about everything is alright by me.
entrances. Pointing proudly to his perfectly groomed facial hair, with all the
class he could muster, Bagwell turned to the camera and belted out “BUFF HAS A
NEW MOUSTACHE! HAHAHAHAHAHA!”
mic skills, very basic offense, and his back was messed up for so long he can’t
sell correctly to save his life. But WOW were his matches fun to watch.
Scott Steiner is a huge favourite due to
being an awesome worker in the first half of his career and an absolute
psychopath in the second half.
99 not long ago, and the thing that really stood out to me was the fact that
Steiner genuinely looked like he might kill someone. He kept stalling to go
beef with the fans in the front row, and there was more than one occasion that
night he got into a face to face screaming match with a fan just daring him to
step over the line … and you really thought he just might. Whether it was a
brilliant, calculated make-over, or roid rage, Steiner’s White Thunder was
was getting the rocket push at the time I first started watching wrestling so
Warrior was my ‘Hulk Hogan’. Plus Warrior was a cooler version of Hogan as he
was younger, more energetic and had a better look.
himself with a tall glass mid-match.
WCW. I’ve always been a mark for the invincible power teams. I also liked the
KISS Demon for some reason.
The most awful wrestler that I found
bizarrely entertaining has to be Heidenreich. His pre-match disaster-piece poetry
promos, his over the top facial expressions, his Naziesque theme music combined
with shitty in-ring work always guaranteed me being not far off from hysterical
laughter. Plus he gets extra points for trying to rape Michael Cole! Also have
to give a little bit of love to Snitsky for the whole ‘IT WASN’T MY FAULT’
baby-killing storyline over on Raw around the same time which of course lead to
Snitsky and Heidenreich’s epic gruntling and snarling confrontation at I think
Survivor Series 2004.
not damn either of these guys with enough praise. Between their meeting at the
2004 Survivor Series (“I LIKE YOUR POETRY!” “AND I LIKE WHAT YOU DO TO BABIES!”),
and the 2005 Royal Rumble (“I LIKE YOU JON!” “I LIKE YOU TOO GENE! BUT I STILL
HATE CASKETS!”), this was truly a bromance that not only needed more segments,
but quite frankly, their own spinoff.
Earthquake….I didn’t love him, but when
he was a heel between injuring Hogan, Tugboat, Andre, squashing the snake and
sending all those jobbers out on stretchers the mark in me feared him, thus his
matches were always fascinating because you knew he could leave someone laying
in a heartbeat.
Beefcake. Loved him as a kid. The
outfits, the synth heavy entrance music. And, the greatest thing to ever be
thankful for, from the original Coliseum release of Survivor Series ’89. “I’m
thankful for wresting, cuttin’ and struttin’!!”
to all caps, which should tell you something. The swank jacket. The
ridiculously jacked up physique. Rubbing the baby oil on himself. The sweater
vests. The obnoxious slurping.
have provided me as many laughs on the mic as him. The time he was basically
asked to go out and kill seemingly ten minutes on Nitro and started just
ripping on fans. “I’ma whoop everybody in this arena one by one! Sit down
fat boah I can’t fight you you ain’t in my weight class. I’ll whoop… entire
NWO all by myself!” “Scott Steiner you big dumb stupid bitch! You
know I HATE yo dumb ass!” Or the time he escaped a Bigelow beatdown by
proclaiming, “I LOVE you. You my hee-ro!”
be my choice. There was something positively hysterical every single time they
sent Miller out to rip on the entire crowd. You’d sit there for upwards of ten
minutes, wondering what in the bloody hell was the point – and all he’d do is
keep going. I can remember him being on the Bottom Ten Wrestlers list week
after week in 1999 on WrestleLine, but that’s only because the masses hadn’t
caught on to the greatness of the Cat.
Scott and Steve Armstrong one night, and demanding they send out the Bullet so
he can whoop him too. On a random Thunder, he once entered the ring wearing a
cowboy hat, and demanding Sonny Onoo sing “Purple Rain” in honor of the fact he
was fighting Prince, then complaining that Prince Iaukea wasn’t the Prince he
wanted to whoop at all. And finally, Catbo.
led directly to Eric Bischoff’s office – which had to be immediately changed
following the airing of this. Late 90’s WCW simply cannot be topped for sheer
incompetence and hilarity, no matter how hard TNA tries.
Location: Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem,
Mike Tenay, Tazz
in Pennsylvania for the second of about ten straight taped shows.
The big story coming off last week is Lashley winning the World Title
from Eric Young to give the trio even more control. MVP was very
abusive with his power though so the mighty hand of the invisible
Board of Directors might be in play tonight. Let’s get to it.
a recap of last week’s main event.
in the back and MVP says they’re ready to fight tonight.
People vs. Gail Kim/Terryn Terrell
Gail get things going with Love missing an early splash in the
corner, allowing Gail to hammer with forearms to the jaw. Off to
Terryn who hammers away for a bit but gets caught by the double team
on the floor. A double elbow drop gets two for Velvet followed by
some forearms to the head. A running neckbreaker gets two and we hit
the chinlock. Terryn finally escapes to make the hot tag as
everything breaks down. Terrell hits a cross body to put both
Beautiful People down, allowing Gail to hit Eat Defeat on Angelina
for the pin at 6:45.
D+. Standard Knockouts tag here
to set up the latest title match between Gail and Angelina because we
haven’t seen them fight enough times already. Again, can we please
get some fresh ideas in this division? I can’t remember the last new
story we had for the girls, and it’s getting really tiresome.
Glory is in Tokyo. That’s going to be interesting.
says it’s a good night to be Dixie Carter.
and MVP with something to say. There’s a table with champagne set up
behind them and three good looking women to make the view a bit
better. MVP brings out Lashley and says they conquered last week,
just like they promised they would, and now they own the world. Eric
Young is going to be asking for his release after the beating they
gave him last week. This brings out Eric with his arm in a sling.
He knows you can’t fight city hall but he only wants to fight them.
Young charges to the ring and gets beaten down by the two healthy
guys. Bobby Roode jumps the barricade to make another save.
break with Roode talking about signing his contract on the same day
as Eric Young and how they both have TNA in their blood. Eric Young
has spent the last seven years fighting for the love of wrestling and
Roode says they both want the title. They want their company back,
because that’s what TNA originals say to heel stables on this show.
Roode is back to fight for what he loves and doesn’t care what MVP
get in the ring and be civilized. The boss says every action has a
reaction and Roode’s actions have earned a reaction from MVP. In his
capacity as the boss, Roode is officially….interrupted by a guy in
a suit. His name is Mr. Armstrong and he’s a member of the board of
directors. In a Texas accent, he says MVP is no longer Director of
Wrestling Operations and his replacement will be here tonight. Roode
gets a phone call. Apparently they have to win a title or the family
business is going under. Crazy Steve is going to win the X-Division
Title tonight. The Bro Mans come in and say they’re getting the shot
because they speak strong style. An unmasked Manik comes in and says
he’s getting the shot. He puts on the mask and says Steve has
something on his face.
Dixie think she gets power back tonight.
Title: Sanada vs. Crazy Steve vs. Manik vs. DJZ
the choice of opponent and picked all of them. Fast pace to start
with Sanada getting a quick rollup but DJZ trips him to the floor.
Steve bites DJZ’s head and fingers but Sanada sunset flips both of
them, sending both guys flying. A missile dropkick puts both guys
down but Manik puts the champion in an Indian Deathlock. Manik hits
a huge dive to take out all three challengers on the floor. Back in
and DJZ hits a tornado DDT on Steve but we get a Tower of Doom to
send both guys down. A quick tiger suplex from Sanada is enough for
the pin on DJZ at 3:26.
Some nice high spots but that’s really about it. It’s nice to see
them finally pay attention to the title a few weeks before
Destination X, even though it’s not going to mean a thing after July
or whenever the special airs. Sanada isn’t going into the show as
champion, which makes the last few months of his reign fairly
says no one takes anything from him.
and Bram say a Monster’s Ball match sounds like an old Friday night
are Dixie and Spud to gloat. Fan: “NO ONE CARES! YOU SUCK!”
She says she’s always put faith in wrestlers and they keep screwing
her over. There’s a table behind her for no apparent reason. Dixie
laughs at the fans for buying into MVP’s nonsense and promises to
give the fans what they want: More Dixie!
brings out the lawyer or whatever he is from earlier and offers him a
toast. He says there’s been a misunderstanding because Dixie isn’t
the new Director. The champagne goes into her face and says this
isn’t happening over her dead body. This brings out Bully Ray who
drinks some of the champagne and threatens to put them both through a
table. Dixie offers $200,000 for him to let her go but he wants the
table. Ethan Carter runs out and is easily dispatched and Spud gets
the same treatment. Dixie is lited up but Spud moves the table for
is panicking and Ray says he was that close.
Anderson vs. James Storm
a brawl on the floor to start as the announcers speculate about who
the new boss might be. They fight into the ring and the swinging
neckbreaker puts Storm down but Anderson might have hurt his
shoulder. Closing Time and a Backstabber get two for Storm but he
misses the Last Call. The Mic Check is countered by a grabbed rope
and the Last Call gives Storm the pin at 2:19.
has gotten Samuel Shaw out of the asylum under his care. Shaw shakes
Storm asks Sanada if he’s ready for the pressure of Destination X and
implies that he’s coming for the title.
Dreamer jumps Ethan Carter and they brawl in the back. The fight
spills into the arena with Dreamer hitting Ethan with a trashcan but
getting hit low and slammed on the ramp. Dreamer suplexes him onto
the floor but gets whipped into the steps. Ethan goes into the steps
as well and they head inside where Dreamer keeps hammering away.
Security breaks it up and the fans say let them fight.
and Abyss are ready for Monster’s Ball.
trio goes to wait on the new boss. After
a break they attack the driver when he won’t say who he’s driving.
Ball meaning anything goes and weapons are encouraged. Abyss hammers
on Bram to start and knocks him out to the floor, leaving the other
two in the ring to brawl. Abyss sets up a barbed wire board between
the ring and barricade but stops to throw weapons into the ring. The
Brits hammer away with trashcans but Willow comes back with a double
clothesline. Whisper in the Wind drops Magnus and a trashcan to the
head puts Bram down. The Swanton misses but Abyss finds Janice. As
usual though it gets stuck in the turnbuckle before any murder can
is busted open but he’s able to handcuff Abyss to the barricade. The
double teaming ensues on Willow but Abyss breaks the cuffs and makes
a save. Magnus lays him out with a trashcan, only to have Willow
makes the save with a kendo stick and Twists of Fate all around.
Magnus throws the chair to knocks Willow off the top and through the
barbed wire in a big crash. Abyss has thumbtacks and, after avoiding
a shot from Janice, chokeslams Magnus down onto them. Bram nails
Abyss in the ribs with Janice for the pin at 9:00.
This had all the standard spots for a Monster’s Ball match but the
violence was solid enough to make the whole thing work. TNA overuses
this gimmick a bit, though at least it’s not as bad as some of the
stuff WWE does. This was good enough and put over Bram and Magnus
which was the whole point. Good enough.
lawyer comes out and announces Kurt Angle as the new Director
because….well who else was it going to be? Angle
says it’s time for him to give back but here’s the trio to interrupt.
MVP can’t believe that this is his replacement and violence is
threatened, but Angle shouts that HE’S THE FREAKING BOSS. Angle
makes Lashley vs. Young II for next week
and reinstates Bobby Roode. The brawl is on to end the show.
Rating: C+. This was MUCH
better than last week as they actually had some other stuff going on
besides the one main story. The show wasn’t great or anything but
after last week I would have given anything a better rating. The big
surprise at the end wasn’t really a surprise at all but at least it’s
back to a face vs. a heel on top of the company. Given that this is
TNA I’d be stunned if Angle didn’t walk into Tokyo as a heel though.
They’re taking a major risk by taping so many weeks of shows in
advance but this was at least a good second step.
Kim/Terryn Terrell b. Beautiful People – Eat Defeat to Love
Crazy Steve, Manik and DJZ – Tiger suplex to DJZ
b. Mr. Anderson – Last Call
b. Willow/Abyss – Bram pinned Abyss after hitting him with Janice
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
YO PARALLAX! I DID IT!!!
Hello everyone, it’s your old pal zanatude here. You know, before Dave Scherer came along, some folks liked to call me the Doom of Blog of Doom.
While I’m sure that there are many things that people would like to see me write about, my only intention for this new pulpit of mine is to spread the gospel of Southern States Wrestling. At least until it is time for my epic meltdown that is the traditional rite of passage for writers here on the BoD.
Enough chit-chat. Let’s get classy!
Wow, direct insertion of videos! Posting privleges rule!
Once again, Dakota Booth stands in front of the Southern States Wrestling sign that is too big to fit in the shot, because the cameraman is already bumping into the washing machine as it is. Dakota Booth is so excited, he’s still wearing his salmon colored shirt from last week. As well he should be excited, because we’ve got two title matches this week, including the big tag team title match with The Cripplers Frank Parker and Scott Sterling defending against Ray Idol and Jake Booth. And I have no idea how that’s gonna turn out!
Did I do a good job, Uncle Beau? Will you please put down your Bag of Tricks now?
Anyway, let’s throw it down to the ring!
Southern States Wrestling Television Bowling Trophy
Joe Briggs(c) vs Ryan Stunna
Before we get into the match itself, a brief history lesson as to how the Southern States Wrestling Television Title came into being is in order.
Several months ago, there was the SSW Tennessee Title, which at the time was held by DeAndre Jackson:
It was a decent little title belt (better looking than even the SSW title belt), and DeAndre was a decent little champion. Then Southern States Wrestling signed up a hack indy wrestler named Nick Hammonds. His was such a lucrative signing that the SSW Board of Directors authorized a contract whereby Mr. Hammonds could have any match he wanted at any time.
One night, after DeAndre Jackson wrestled a tag match in which he was brutally assaulted after the bell, Hammonds came down to cash in his
Money In The Bank lucrative contract, pinning Jackson easily to become the new Tennessee champion. Nick Hammonds contract was so lucrative, that he immediately began no-selling dates, lured away by the bright lights and tremendous money of NWA Smoky Mountain.
SSW quickly held a tournament or battle royale or something or other in Rio de Janiero to detemine the new Tennessee champion…18-year-old, red-headed, mutton-chopped nephew-of-the-owner Jake Booth. Booth cut a promo saying that he was proud to be the Tennessee champion, and that he would go on to be the fightingest of all champions.
That would be the last time that the Tennessee title was ever seen or heard of again. I imagine that Uncle Beau took one look at that genetic, phonetic abomination and said, “Better cut our losses right here.”
A few months later, an eight man tournament, with all matches held on the Power Half Hour television show, was held to crown a new champion of a new title: the Southern States Wrestling Television Championship. The matches were grueling affairs, in more ways than one, but in the end, Chris Miles came out on top as the first champion, and received the trophy. That wasn’t a bonus reward for his victory, that WAS the title! SSW threw away a perfectly good title and a perfectly good title belt, for this:
On top of that, this would be the last time that we would see Chris Miles, as he would quickly be defeated for the Television title by newcomer Joe Briggs. In a match that was never televised.
Anyway, back to this match. Joe Briggs has been the TV champ for about two months now. Ryan Stunna is a guy we haven’t seen before, and likely won’t see again, so don’t get too attached to him. Both of these guys have a legitimate shot at becoming PWI 500 wrestler #500 someday, so this match shouldn’t suck too badly. Announcer Joe Wheeler is quick to note the presence of The Cripplers Frank Parker and Scott Sterling at ringside, ostensibly to lend moral support to Mr. Briggs.
Both men trade armbars with flippy counters, and I may have to leave the smark on the backburner for this match. Joe Wheeler tells us that Ryan Stunna comes with some tremendous credentials, then never mentions anything other than him being from Sacremento, California. It would be pretty impressive if he found this place without the use of a GPS. Stunna dominates with some nice, basic wrestling. Even simple wrestling can be fun to watch if well executed, and that’s what’s happening here so far.
Unfortunately, Stunna tried to get fancy, stumbling on the ropes before missing a Lionsault. Briggs takes over on offense and returns to the simple attack. Jumping knee attack gets two, as does an elbow off the ropes. I appreciate the thought in going for a cover after every move. Briggs steps it up a notch with a nice belly to back suplex, again for a two count. Joe Wheeler fills time between moves letting us know about upcoming shows, as I realize that Dakota Booth has had very little to say thusfar. Standing dropkick by Briggs, again for a two count. That is to say, Stunna kicked at two, but I don’t think that his shoulders ever left the mat, a bit of laziness that I always hate to see.
Briggs continues with the methodical offense, including a knee drop that misses by nearly a foot. Again, Stuppa fails to do more than shake his leg a little for the “kickout”, as the goodwill that the first two minutes of this match installed upon me are rapidly wearing off. Bodyslam by Briggs, and you know he means business now as he heads up to the SECOND ROPE! Yeah Joe, do it while you can before the shitty ring of doom hits us next week. Stuppa is devastated by the shockwaves from Joe Briggs’s knee slamming into the canvas a foot away from him, and Briggs gets a three count of sorts: a one count that the referee mistakenly starts when Briggs is waving his arms in front of Stuppa without touching him, and a two count before Stuppa shakes his body with the intent of kicking out once more.
Another hip toss, another climb to the second rope, another wave of the arms, and another knee drop, only this time Stunna intends to be missed by it as he rolls out of the way. This miss somehow hurts Briggs when all of the others didn’t, giving Stunna a chance to take his turn on offense. Stunna gets into SSW Style with a series of punches and kicks. From the apron, Stunna attempts a springshot bodypress off the top rope, but Briggs rolls out of the way. If I were skilled in voodoo, I would summon the ghost of Gorilla Monsoon to walk down to ringside and shout “GO HOME!” at these guys.
But maybe somehow I did, as Briggs grabs the shaken Stuppa and spins him around into a Scorpion Death Drop, called a reverse DDT by Joe Wheeler.. This is apparently his finisher, as Stuppa makes nary a twitch as the referee counts for the easy 1-2-3.
Winner in about 6:00 by Reverse DDT: Joe Briggs. 3/4*
A fun opening minute to this match, but they started out in second gear and then downshifted to first the rest of the way as if they were already blown up. Which is to be expected by most of the fat old talent on the roster, but not two guys that are ostensibly using the hundreds of YouTube views this match receives in the hopes of moving on to bigger and better things.
Dakota tells us that this is yet ANOTHER impressive victory by Joe Briggs (three by my count…yeah, that is kind of dynasty like by SSW standards) After shilling Uncle Beau’s books and DVDs, he cuts to himself interviewing a very special fan. The only item of note is Dakota busting out yet another color from the rainbow of collared shirts that he owns.
Don’t Go Away We”ll Be Right Back!
After a series of updates on upcoming shows, Dakota introduces the tag team title match. For months Jake Booth has been trying to win the tag team titles with a series of revolving partners (including Ricky Morton, who’s looking more and more like Dusty Rhodes with every passing day), but this time he’s finally found a worthy partner in Ray Idol. Will Jake get the job done this time. The suspense is killing me! Let’s go back to the ring!
Southern States Wrestling Tag Team Title Match
The Cripplers (c) vs Ray Idol and Jake Booth
We’re only ten minutes into the show now, so I’ve got a bad feeling that they’re giving this match over 15 minutes. The epic meltdown could happen right here, TONIGHT!
Frank Parker and Jake Booth start things off. Parker backs Booth into a corner and attempts to connect with a big haymaker, but Booth blocks and shoves Parker away. This all happens verrrry slowly, because Jake Booth only knows how to react very slowly to anything. Joe Wheeler must have Beau James in his earpiece, as he tries to sell us on this match being a main event that would fill any arena in the country.
THERE ARE EXACTLY EIGHT FANS THAT I CAN SEE ON MY TELEVISION, JOE! EIGHT FANS AND TWENTY CHAIRS!
Joe Wheeler has more integrity than to say something like that. I can only assume that he was speaking in code…maybe giving us the coordinates to the henhouse he’s locked inside at night?
Idol and Booth pretend to be a well-oiled machine, quickly tagging in and out whilst maintaining an armbar on Parker, who surely is wishing that he could instead be caressed within the ample butt crack of Cheex once more. Parker squeaks out and makes the tag to Scott Sterling, who rushes in and gets caught with an armdrag tagdown by Jake Booth, making brother Dakota look like a fool for saying that “this isn’t gonna be a wrestling match, this is gonna be a fight!” Joe Wheeler attempts to attribute Jake’s run to his familiarity with the Cripplers, being able to anticipate their tactics. Dakota the sage proclaims that “he might not be able to stop all of them, but he can slow them down!” Yes, Dakota, Jake Booth slows everyone down.
Three minutes into the match, the Armbars of Intense Anger continue, until Ray Idol finally decides to mix things up with a whip into the ropes and a dropkick, which gets a two count, before returning to the armbar so Jake can come back in. Double elbow by the challengers gets two. Jake forgets which arm they were working on, and has to fumble around for the other, but fortunately Sterling is happy to let Master Booth take his own sweet time. Dakota tells us that the challengers “want to be engaging their opponents more than their opponents are engaging them.” Thanks for taking away valuable Joe Wheeler time for that astute thought!
Scott Sterling has to literally throw himself over in a flip to get back down onto the mat for the FIFTH MINUTE OF ARMBARS! Is it 1973? Am I in a coma? Is there life on Mars? Joe Wheeler does his best to sell all of this, but the wrestlers prove that the opposite of what CM Punk said in his documentary is not true: you cannot turn chicken shit into chicken salad.
Dropkick by Ray Idol onto a seated Scott Sterling shows a lot of light, but gets a two count regardless. And BACK TO THE GODDAMN ARMBAR! OK, that’s it, no more commentary until the armbars are ceased!
No, a chickenwing is still an armbar, damn it!
OK! Jake Booth misses a charge in the corner, and the Cripplers finally go on offense. Parker tags in and kicks Jake RIGHT IN THE EAR!, which Joe Wheeler describes with a gusto that makes me beleive he’s describing the location of the padlock key that will lead him to sweet, sweet freedom. Parker with a reverse chinlock resthold. Hey, it’s not an armbar, I’ll take it for awhile! Dakota tries to babble about something, but mercifully gets cut off by the commercial break.
No Hardcore Jesus and no Hassie’s Kitchen Table this week. Even the commercials are letting me down.
Back from the break, Frank Parker is applying an abdominal stretch on Jake Booth. The Cripplers show basic knowledge of Heeling 101 by Sterling grabbing Parker’s arm, increasing the pressure. But the gutsy kid won’t give it up! So Sterling tags in an methodically punches and kicks away on Jake, while brother Dakota sounds like he’s choking on some water.
Sterling works Jake over on the mat, then picks him up and whips him into the ropes. I don’t know what was supposed to happen next, as it looks like Sterling wanted to double Jake over with a punch, but Jake ducked down and kind of took a shot to the gut to the head. A pissed off Sterling hits a stiff looking swinging neckbreaker in retaliation. Parker tags back in as the methodical beatdown continues. Parker goads Ray Idol into the ring, allowing the Cripplers to double team on jake Booth, advancing to Heeling 102.
Joe Wheeler tries to sell the moment by saying that it must be hard for Dakota to watch the beatings that his brother takes in matches like these, to which Dakota responds with robot-like emotion.
Jake Booth makes his comeback when Scott Sterling hurts himself giving Jake a headbutt, making Jake the first known redheaded Samoan in captivity. Jake hits an ugly sunset flip for two before the Cripplers regain control. Ray Idol again makes a nuisance of himself, and Scott Sterling changes places without the benefit of a tag. The referee doesn’t even notice that the bald guy has been replaced by a guy with a full head of hair. Or, more likely, just doesn’t care. Pin him pay me, the mantra of SSW officials!
Sterling holds onto a rear chinlock for about a minute. Jake Booth doesn’t know enough to wait for his arm to drop a third time before making the comeback, immediately ripping his arm away from the ref the first time. Jake ducks a clothesline attempt and fumbles around to get a backslide for two. The Cripplers regain control, and Sterling tags into Parker, who nails Jake Booth with a double axehandle from the SECOND ROPE OF DOOM!
Jake Booth continues playing Ricky Morton (which is a new experience for him, as his previous partner was Ricky Morton) He escapes from an attempted kneedrop, and could easily tag his partner, but instead assumes a football stance and knocks over Parker with a tackle…but Parker is able to grapevine the leg and tag his partner, and they continue the assault on the idiot Jake Booth.
Sterling goes back to the reverse chinlock that served him well earlier. We’re running out of time, so surely things are gonna have to pick up a notch soon, right? Right Beau? Please? If he’s that blown up, just tag in the guy that’s been standing on the apron for 10 minutes!
Jake fights his way to his feet and frees himself from the hold with a “jaw jacker” as Joe Wheeler describes it. I didn’t know that that move had a name, so I’ll go with that. And after pounding the mat like Randy Orton (second week in a row for a Randy Orton reference in the Southern States Wrestling review. Apex Predator = Patron Saint of SSW?), Jake makes the tag to his partner!
After pounding on both men, Parker falls outside the ring near the row of empty chairs, and Ray Idol goes out after him, while Jake Booth and Scott Sterling fight on in the ring. While the legal men continue to fight on the floor, Jake Booth hits Sterling with another football tackle. Sterling is out in the middle of the ring, but Jake Booth leans on the ropes in exhaustion.
Joe Briggs comes out in an attempt to run interference, but Beau James cuts him off at the past, ramming Briggs’s head into the ring post! Jake recovers to hit a big splash in the ring, and the ref, who we’ve already established doesn’t give a shit, attempts to count the illegal pin, but Sterling kicks out at two. Dakota is no longer sure who the legal men are, while Joe Wheeler says “I’m pretty sure it’s Jake and Scott!”, which I’m pretty sure is code for “Beau James does bad things to me with a stick of butter.”
Jake hooks Sterling in a headlock, then throws him into the ropes. After Sterling inexplicably does a 360 spin, he knocks heads with Jake. Sterling falls to the mat while Jake falls into the ropes. Uncle Beau sees this and gives Jake a big old push in the ass, causing him to fall on top of Scott Sterling, and the referee counts one…two…THREE! New tag team champions! More importantly, THE MATCH IS OVER!!!
Winners (about 14 minutes aired) by Divine Intervention and NEW Southern States Tag Team Champions: Jake Booth and Ray Idol. -***
At the best of times, this was boring. At the worst of times, it was a horrible clusterfuck where all logic went out the window, Jake botched the finish, and fresh off back surgery fatass Beau James is an untouchable Superman.
Backstage Dakota interviews the new tag team champions. Ray Idol says that this is a sweet victory, because for two years the Cripplers have tried to take out the careers of Beau James and his family as well as Ray Idol, but tonight they took away what mattered most to them. Jake tells us that they beat him all over the ring, but that those belts are “family”, and he tells his scrawny brother that has never been in a wrestling match that every member of his family held those titles at one time. The belts are icing on the cake, but it’s not over! I guess they have to put that cherry on top. Beau James finishes off, telling The Cripplers that their house is falling, he’s coming back to the ring, and he’s coming for blood!
We wrap up with gloating Dakota at the UTHER STATES RESTLI center, who says that things are only going to keep heating up between his family and The Crippler and Joe Briggs. He’s also excited to announce the NEW Power Half Hour, starting next week from a NEW in-house wrestling facility! Just remember, newer means better, not a shitty sweatbox that’s too cramped for even the even more broken down ring to fit in!
This show was fun for the first two minutes, and a brutal chore for the last 28. But I have faith that Beau James will fix those problems that saw some good wrestling accidentally creep in, and give us some horrific nightmare shows for the ages in the weeks and months to come!
important purpose, but also strengthens his sense of superiority, suggesting
that the reviewer possesses knowledge, refinement and sophistication that set
him apart from ordinary moviegoers.” – Michael Medved, on film critics
including lesser-known films on yearly top 10 lists.
better. Yes, like any self-respecting
critic, I believe I serve an important purpose, and that I possess knowledge,
refinement and sophistication that set me apart from ordinary moviegoers. It is interesting that Medved doesn’t believe
this statement describes himself.” – Roger Ebert’s response to the above.
‘learn’, so to speak. We all know that there are certain things that we ‘like’,
so to speak, when it comes to films, television, books, etc. We can articulate
those reasons on multiple levels – “Mcclain is a badass and Willis is fucking
awesome!” to “Mcclain connects with the audience due to his common man persona,
allowing a bond to be forged that carries the character through the slightly
unbelievable narrative with the audience as his willing partner.” – these are
both fine ways to describe Die Hard. Both are favorable, one is slightly more
verbose but allows for a more psychological deconstruction of the film, while
one is short and to the point.
criticism is what we use to make the aesthetic judgments in our reviews.
Whether it be the star rating system, a grading scale, hot pokers up the ass,
whatever the case may be, we are all participating in that criticism on this
blog on a daily basis.
there can be little doubt about that. Doubly so were we to identify ourselves
as ‘professional wrestling critics’; outside of a select few players, our
blogmaster being one of them, this fact probably is concealed by a great
majority of those that spend time not only watching the happenings of the
squared circle, but spend time discussing it in great detail. Back in the late
90’s, even with wrestling at the height of its popularity, I did refrain from
discussing my fandom or wearing my NWO shirt at academic functions. There was a
sense of shame, even after having found rec.pro-wrestling and the Usenet forums
that would eventually shape my fandom in a different direction, that wrestling
was a ‘low’ art.
than the work itself. Professional wrestling has frequently CATERED to the
lowest common denominator, but that in and of itself does not diminish the work
of both the performers and the bookers, both of whom create the narrative that
plays out in front of us. Frequently Grecian in scope, wrestling takes familiar
tropes, with the hero (face) and the villain (heel) vying for whatever prize
awaits them at the end of the poem. It’s the oldest story in the book for a
reason, because the narrative always works. The difference is how you tell it,
and that’s really what we judge.
guardians of the gates of professional wrestling fandom, letting no one pass
until they have watched (and praised) the requisite number of KENTA matches?
Are we deluded fan boys commenting on a subject with a depth that not even the
creators care to think about?
the two, but I’m inclined to go with the more grandiose of visions, for the
simple fact that one of the key agents of a strong critic is confidence to
augment the knowledge. Does it smack of arrogance (TM Rick Martel) to do so?
Undoubtedly. But I think it necessary to differentiate a critic from a fan when
it comes to credibility. A fan needs no credibility to back up simple
statements, because his knowledge is not called forth in making that statement.
But a critic needs credibility because his knowledge can and should be debated
in the context of his opinion. Were you to need a mechanic for your car, would
you take it to your cousin who works on the weekends on his old junker, or
would you take it to a professional mechanic, whose knowledge far surpasses
that of said cousin?
the car’s importance to YOU. And this is how we respond to criticism as well. If
we care about the subject, we’re much more inclined to spend time researching
and becoming knowledgeable about it. Wrestling is no different. Like any hobby,
we spend our time as a part of what we all call the Internet Wrestling
Community (IWC) as a way to discuss a subject that very few people in our ‘normal’
lives understand, at least to the extent of those of us who post here on the
us on the blog, a pseudo –“We’re all Awesome” crowd chant during a Divas match
to pass the time, I am saying that being a wrestling critic requires certain tools
that not everyone has; I am saying that what we do is of value. Unlike so many
other forms, the bulk of professional wrestling has taken place within the last
100 years, so study is possible.
and was exposed to the aforementioned Usenet pro wrestling forums on the lightning
fast “only takes 2 minutes to load a page!” direct connection in the dorms. So
many questions were finally being answered for me, principally how things were
actually done in this wonderful world I had become addicted to as an 11 year
old renting every video I could from the Blockbuster. I swallowed as much
knowledge as I could whole, and had my first exposure to Scott, CRZ, Scaia,
Chris Bird, Petrie, Kunze, and more. Learning about the undercurrent of
seriousness to the world of wrestling actually saved my waning fandom; the
coming wrestling boom would bring me all the way back.
discouraged strongly by the largest North American federation that exists.
Frequently we are criticized by those who get in the ring as not able to judge
quality work since we’ve never been a worker – surely, they recognize this as nonsense,
as being able to articulate one’s tastes in art in a more intelligent fashion
has nothing to do with personal experience as an actor in the pageant. You don’t
need to be a chef to understand what a good steak tastes like, and you don’t
need to be an expert to understand that Cena/Punk was a better match than
Cena/Ryback. The difference between a fan and a critic is the knowledge of WHY
one is better than the other.
But also, I think this subject deserves less ridicule than is normally applied
to the smark community; I frequently see us belittle ourselves as though we
live in fear of ‘taking ourselves too seriously’. Why shouldn’t we take the
things we care about seriously? The only fear should be crossing over into pretension,
which is not an unreasonable fear, but a manageable one; keeping a level head
over how little wrestling means, while still being okay about our criticism
being serious is a tough balance beam to walk upon, but we can traverse it.
Kunze’s earnestness and world weariness over North American wrestling, we all
read or have read critics because they’ve earned our respect.
Hello everyone, it’s your old pal Zanatude. You know, some folks like to call me the Doom of Blog of Doom. Haters aside, seems like people want me to keep doing this. I’m game if you are. Southern States Wrestling Power Half Hour May 11th, 2014 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ky-xw4mJTA8 This week’s show opens with the Jerry Lawler intro. Say what you will about Lawler, but in about four seconds he makes Southern States Wrestling seem more important than anything on the last week’s show did. Whatever Beau James paid Lawler for his appearances, it was probably worth it. They’ve moved the camera back slightly, so now Dakota talks in front of the OUTHER STATES RESTIN sign. Dakota is so excited about the crowning of a NEW Southern States Wrestling Heavyweight champion that he forgets to flub his lines. We’re also going to see Misty James in a big grudge match. So let’s jump right into the action! Misty James vs Rebecca Lynn
The Southern States Wrestling Power Half hour is all action. No music, no intros, just clang the bell and get it on! Even with perhaps only 30 seats in the background, there are still gaping holes in the crowd. This would be remedied in future weeks, when they found an even tinier place to hold the matches. Rebecca Lynn brings out the heavy artillery early, cornering Misty James and smashing her with a series of hard forearms and chokes. James charges out of the corner and smashes into Rebecca Lynn. Not sure if it was a failed spear or a failed forearm smash, but it was enough to knock Lynn on her butt just the same. She does know enough about wrestling to hook a leg when making a cover, but a botched charge isn’t enough to hold Lynn down. Lynn comes back with some forearm smashes and a choke with the ring ropes. Execution aside, this looks more like a grudge match than anything I’ve seen from WWE Divas in many years. I’m honestly not sure that I could take either of these women in a legit fight. Lynn rams Misty’s head in the turnbuckle a few times, then nails her with a really hard knife edge chop. That’s the first time in ten years that I’ve seen a knife edge chop that didn’t illicit a “WHOO!!!” chant from the crowd. Either they don’t know what to do, or they are legitimately concerned about Misty James. Either one wouldn’t surprise me with this crowd. Lynn hits a second chop and goes for a third, but Misty blocks and counters with a big forehand chop of her own. Shades of Ric Flair vs Ron Garvin! Misty regains control, whipping Lynn into the far turnbuckle, then charges at her at the speed of molasses to deliver a “running” clothesline. Misty covers for two before Lynn grabs the ropes. Dakota is at least trying to keep up with Joe Wheeler on commentary this week, which makes it much easier to watch this while keeping the sound on. Both competitors look like they’re running through quicksand, as they slooooowly run off the opposite ropes and collide with a double clothesline. We’re about four minutes into this match, and both women are selling this like the 40 minute mark of HHH/HBK Hell in a Cell. Joe Wheeler implores us to join them on May 10th in Rogersville, Tennessee at the National Guard Armory for the next SSW show, even though this broadcast is airing on the 11th. Both women rise at the count of 8. Rebecca Lynn sends Misty James into the corner with a series of forearm smashes, but refuses to break at five. The referee gets a little too far into Lynn’s face, so she forearm smashes the referee as well. Misty James goes over to the referee, and for no apparently reason she picks him and gives him something that was probably supposed to be a body slam. The referee calls for the bell, and both women forget whatever problems they had with each other and team up to hit him with a clothesline. Dakota laughs at all of this, because SSW. Some random highlights air over the next thirty seconds to the background noise of whatever was happening at ringside in the meantime. Match apparently ends in Double DQ in around 5:00. 1/2*
I was tempted to be generous and give the match a full star for effort, but the finish and Dakota laughing everything off convinced me not to. Cut back to Dakota, who is either getting better or they have enough time this week to keep redoing the takes until he gets it right, because he does an adequate job hyping that anything could happen when those “girls” are both in the building together at the upcoming TV tapings on May 16th. Before the break we get a promo with Kyle Kool, who’s standing in front of an awesome lime green wall. Perfectly Acceptable Quick Arrogant Heel Promo, telling Ray Idol that he’s taking the Southern States Heavyweight Championship home with him tonight.
Coming Soon: Hardcore Legend Mick Foley! I think the guy he’s beating the piss out of in that footage is Al Snow? After the usual local commercials Dakota is back with yet another hard sell of the TV taping this Friday. Limited seating available, but tickets are just $7, making it a mathematical certainty that these guys cannot possibly turn a profit. Dakota also asks fans to bring a canned good for donation to the food pantry at the community center, but I have a hard time believing that that food ends up anywhere other than the ample gut of Beau James. Dakota finishes with an introduction of a package on DeAndre Jackson, but the camera lingers a second too long, and we get a look at his expression of frustration at flubbing yet another line. Two minute profile on DeAndre Jackson, narrated by Beau James. He’s been wrestling for five years, and has dreams of wrestling for one of the big time promotions. I suppose stranger, more unlikely things have happened, but none of them are coming to me at this time. We jump cold into the middle of a match between DeAndre Jackson and Kyle Kool. It looks like a different arena than the last match, so perhaps this is footage from a recent house show.
We almost lose Joe Wheeler to sobbing sentimentality whilst comparing Jackson to the late, great, Junkyard Dog, but Wheeler pulls it together like the pro that he is. There are under two minutes left in the match, and both men are trying lots of pinfalls that are both in quick succession and really slow at the same time. They do a very poor job of stalling the last 30 seconds away for the draw, but at least RVD would appreciate Jackson’s selling of pain as result of his own splash. Ray Idol rebuttal promo. It’s been two years since he was last SSW champ, and tonight he regains what’s rightfully his! Grading on promos alone, I give the edge to Kool. Some highlights of Ray Idol air without introduction, mostly from a time when they were pulling in at least few hundred fans. That spinning torture-rack slam was kind of neat. Nothing says SSW like Hardcore Jesus and ads for Hassie’s Kitchen Table. She could give Scott a few tips on redesigning his website as well: http://www.hassieskitchentable.com/ Dakota is back to review how both Kyle Kool and Ray Idol advanced to the Southern States Wrestling Heavyweight title tournament finals. It’s the battle of money versus Deus Ex Machina, and it’s going down NOW! Southern States Wrestling Heavyweight Title Tournament Final: Kyle Kool vs Ray Idol
This time Kyle Kool wastes no time in offering a bribe to his opponent. Ray Idol takes the money and tucks it into his wrestling suit. Winner by forfeit, and new Southern Sta
NO, it was a swerve! Ray Idol takes the money, but beats up Kyle Kool anyway! I was going to question why Equalizer Krunch didn’t do the same last week, but then I realized that Equalizer Krunch is really stupid. Character continuity, people! Only in SSW! At least one fan is really enthused as Idol takes it to Kool. Big powerslam, which looked much more like Junkyard Dog than anything that DeAndre Jackson ever did, is good for a two count. Dakota attempts to provide some incisive color commentary, but forgets what he wants to say midway through. Joe Wheeler, like the jaded prick that he’s become as the major organizations continue to ignore his talent, is content to let Dakota flounder around until he awkwardly finds a way to finish off his “thought”. Wheeler sells Ray Idol’s headlock better than Kyle Kool ever could, as Idol continues to manhandle his opponent. It’s been a grueling 90 seconds thus far, so Idol takes him down with a rest hold. I’m not sure that Kool has landed one offensive move throughout this entire tournament. Kool finally gets the opening he’s looking for by getting out of the way of an attempted Idol avalanche into the corner. Kool hits a decent vertical suplex, and this contest is in danger of becoming a wrestling match. But that move hasn’t led to a pinfall since 1981, and it doesn’t do so here either. Nice heel move by Kool, as he drapes his shin across Idol’s neck while he’s jawboning with the ref about the count. Fortunately, the suplex was an anomaly, and we go back to the punches, kicks, and eye gouges that are the heart and soul of SSW. The illegitimate brother of Dr. Evil (or perhaps the son of Mini Me, afflicted with acromegaly) hangs Ray Idol on the middle ropes and drops a running leg down on top of him, wearing Idol down for yet another two count. They clearly call their spot in the corner, as Kyle Kool attempts to whip Ray Idol into the far corner, but Idol reverses. I was sure that this would be a spot that would be used to knock the ref out, but the referee actually gets out of the way at the last second. Blown spot or brilliant realism? Only Beau James knows for sure. Idol has Kool down in the middle of the ring, but he’s looking for something special to put him away. Digging down deep, Idol heads up to THE SECOND ROPE and nails Kool with a thunderous elbow drop! The crowd is so excited that they cannot find the words to express themselves, so they just sit there in silence as Idol makes what should be an academic cover…but Kyle Kool kicks out! The heart and determination of these two men knows no bounds, as they battle on for the most prestigious wrestling title in the tri-county area! Despite having been hit by the devastating second rope elbow, Kyle Kool is up first, and proceeds to put Idol down with another rest hold. Take notes, Randy Orton, that’s how you milk a reverse chinlock! It’s the first time that I’ve seen someone almost pass out from the hold, but Idol just prevents his arm from falling a third time, and begins to mount his comeback. Another corner whip, this time a double reversal, and this time the referee does take a bump to powder out of the match. He could have done that four minutes earlier and saved us all a lot of time! Kyle Kool attempts to whip Idol into the ropes, but Idol reverses into a Spine On The Pine. Idol gets the visual three count, but there is no ref to count it, so Idol goes over to revive him. Meanwhile, Kool recovers and catches Idol with a small package that just barely…eventually…gets Idol over, but Idol again kicks out at two. Idol hits Kool with a savate kick to the gut, but the falling Kool causes the second ref bump of the match, so once again the referee is unable to make the sure three count. Frank Parker runs out to interfere, but he is cut off by Jake Booth, and the two do battle on the floor as the match rages on. We cut to a replay of the last 15 seconds of action because SSW. When we return, Scott Sterling is in the ring and nails Ray Idol between the eyes with the tag team title belt. There is a glitch in The Matrix that brings about Deja Vu, and we see the same spot a second time, as the wide shot gives a glimpse of all of the empty chairs in the front row (the only row) on the left side of the ring. Everyone peters out, and the ref wakes up just in time to see Kyle Kool crawl on top of Ray Idol for the one, two, THREE! Winner by belt shot and Beau James indifference in about 8:00, and NEW Southern States Heavyweight Champion: Kyle Kool! *
Yes, I went the full monty and gave this match one whole star. They tried hard, and Wheeler made Dakota his bitch on commentary on numerous occasions. And the ref sold his beating better than any of the wrestlers did. Joe Wheeler hosts a heel celebration in front of the lime green wall of awesomeness, as Kyle Kool is joined by Joe Briggs and Frank Parker. Just like Caesar baby, he came, he saw, and he conquered! The Kyle Kool Era is here, and we’re looking at the future of Southern States Wrestling. Back to Dakota to wrap things up. Ray Idol lost tonight, but next week he and Jake Booth get a chance at the tag team titles against Frank Parker and Scott Sterling. …wait, what? Didn’t I write this about the last week?
“Back to Dakota at the OUTHE STATE RESTLI event center, who hypes the TV taping once more before cutting to a Joe Wheeler interview with Scott Sterling. Sterling is angry that Ray Idol and Jake Booth (another untalented nephew of Beau James, only this one wrestles) beat him and Frank Parker for the Southern States tag team titles.“
You know what? Let’s just forget all about that. They only hit until you cry. After that you don’t ask why. You just don’t argue anymore. You just don’t argue anymore. You just don’t argue anymore.
Also, Joe Briggs defends his Southern States Wrestling Television Bowling Trophy. And don’t forget to go to the television taping this Friday. Stay classy Mountain Empire! Gaffes aside, fun show this week. Give it a chance, and Southern States Wrestling grows on you like a fungus.
http://triblive.com/mobile/6315036-96/tna-ring-fans Maybe you'll stop getting questions soon… About the juggernaut that is TNA? Doubtful.
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem,
Mike Tenay, Tazz
Slammiversary and Eric Young is still World Champion. However, there
is something new tonight to keep our minds off of him: TOMMY DREAMER!
Yes, the man who used to be in a big time indy promotion about
thirteen years ago and now runs another promotion which sounds like a
tribute to ECW (I know there’s more to it than that) is back because
of some angle involving Bully Ray at a recent House of Hardcore show.
Apparently Dixie has invited Dreamer to the Impact Zone for a
confrontation, because Dixie being at war with two groups just isn’t
enough Dixie. Let’s get to it.
a package on Slammiversary, highlighting Young pinning Aries to
retain the title.
Trio to open the show. MVP looks upset and says he’ll get straight
to the point: no he can’t wrestle and he’s still disgusted by what
happened last Sunday. Dixie cried to the board of directors and
probably threw around some money, earning him an official reprimand.
He doesn’t care to hear from some stuffed shirt in Dallas because
he’s been making this company the best he can. The show is directed
by and starring MVP with his great supporting cast.
MVP to Eric Young, who MVP wants out here right now. Eric says
Slammiversary was great but he didn’t get to punch MVP in the face.
MVP accuses Eric and Aries of collusion to keep the title, but Young
says the fans are in charge around here. He doesn’t want to wait two
hours and wants to come beat up MVP right now. Kenny King grabs the
mic and wants a title shot right now, which Eric is totally cool
Title: Eric Young vs. Kenny King
away to start and nails a quick Thesz press, only to be sent out to
the floor in front of Lashley and MVP. This brings out the Wolves,
Joe and Aries with chairs to even the odds. King nails a dive onto
Young and puts on a chinlock back inside. Eric fights up and makes
his comeback but gets punched in the ribs coming off the top. The
Royal Flush is quickly countered into a small package though and Eric
keeps the title at 3:38.
D+. Nothing to see here due to
a lack of time but the four guys coming to the ring was more
interesting. Someone is going to have to join MVP’s team soon as
it’s 5-2 at this point, but I’m not sure who it could actually be.
Joe and Aries are hot right now so they would be the most likely
break and the Trio are yelling at the bell ringer, claiming that
Kenny kicked out. Eric Young and his supporters come out to make the
save. MVP gets on the mic and yells about being God. He’s making
another World Title match tonight with Lashley getting a title shot.
The Wolves are going to defend tonight against Aries/Joe and another
team that isn’t announced. First though, Earl Hebner needs to get
out here FAST. MVP yells at him for counting slowly and fires Earl.
Brian Hebner comes out to plead for his dad’s job but it doesn’t
work. MVP was acting like he had lost his mind here.
are here and pleased with what happened on Sunday. Dixie will
respond to a keyboard warrior tonight.
to defend the belt all night long. What happened with Earl isn’t
cool though. He gets a phone call from someone and needs the guy
here tonight. Eric leaves his phone and the call was from Kurt
Titles: Austin Aries/Samoa Joe vs. Wolves vs. Willow/Abyss
Willow get things going and trade some headlocks. Austin takes him
down and brings in Joe for a running knee drop. Willow brings in
Abyss to splash Joe in the corner followed by Poetry in Motion for
good measure. Willow gets caught in the Clutch and Aries puts Abyss
in the Last Chancery but the Wolves make the double save. Joe and
Aries are sent to the floor but slide in to avoid dives and hit
suicide dives of their own. We see Tommy Dreamer arriving and we
take a break.
Abyss hammering away on Davey and glaring the referee down to the
floor. Eddie comes in and a double dropkick knocks Abyss into the
corner for a tag off to Aries. The Wolves quickly take Aries down
and Eddie drops a top rope knee drop for two. A loud chop has Aries
in more trouble and the champions double team him in the corner. In
a nice combo, Eddie German suplexes Aries and Davey rolls him up for
a close two. Aries dropkicks Davey down and hits a discus forearm to
send him into the corner, but right into Abyss.
away and makes the tag off to Joe as things start to break down. The
backsplash and powerslam get two on Abyss followed by a middle rope
kick to the chest. Abyss gets over for a tag to Willow as everything
breaks down. Aries, Joe and the Wolves wind up on the floor so
Willow can hit a huge dive to take everyone down. Back in and Davey
blocks the Swanton with knees, setting up a powerbomb from Eddie into
the Backstabber from Davey to retain at 13:10.
B-. Good match here and finall
something that got time to develop. That’s one of Impact’s biggest
issues anymore: there’s no time for a match like this, meaning
nothing can really get going. The Wolves need competition and if
makeshift teams of former World Champions are how they get there then
so be it.
tells King and Lashley to take care of Angle if need be.
explanation for Tommy Dreamer being here tonight. He runs House of
Hardcore, an independent promotion, and received permission to use
TNA talent. Dixie intervened and pulled the talent at the last
minute and Dreamer is upset. He gets a live mic tonight.
Austin Aries are escorted out of the building.
Wolves defend the Titles again tonight against Bram/Magnus.
Dixie and Spud so she can brag about Slammiversary. She tells Bully
that she’ll never go through a table and goes on a rant about
negative haters telling her how to run her company and hiding behind
a keyboard. This brings her to Tommy Dreamer, who gets to talk about
why he hates Dixie in person.
out and Dixie says she’s starting to remember who he is. She rants
about him hiding behind 140 characters in his little hardcore
promotion and offers to let him talk. Dreamer thanks her for letting
him be here but has to stop for an ECW chant. Tommy talks about
social media and how they met on Twitter. They sat at her home and
watched a football game, then set up Hardcore Justice as a way to
give the ECW fans and wrestlers closure.
watches Impact and is disgusted by what he sees her doing. What
happened to the woman that sat in the crowd and then drank beers with
the ECW guys in the ring? Now it’s the Dixie Carter Show out here
(Spud: “YES!”) and Dreamer can’t handle it. If Dixie wants her
own reality show, go to Hollywood and get one. Dreamer does just run
a small company but he travels the world and talks to wrestling fans.
He talks to fans who are battling cancer and tells them to watch
at Slammiversary and saw Dixie be a fan again, so please remember why
she fell in love with wrestling in the first place. Dixie nearly
breaks down and hugs Dreamer….and hits him low. Spud and Ethan run
in and beat Dreamer out to the floor. Not sure what the point of it
was but Dreamer’s speech wasn’t bad.
and asks Lashley and King to get him MVP. They don’t seem to
to Angle to tell him that he doesn’t have time to talk.
Titles: Wolves vs. Bram/Magnus
work over Magnus’ arm to start but Eddie gets sent to the floor and
Bram whips him into the barricade. Back in and Eddie kicks Magnus in
the face before diving over to make the tag to Davey. Everything
breaks down and Magnus basically no sells a bunch of kicks in the
corner. Davey does the throw one man into the other and dropkick him
into a DDT spot (I can’t stand that thing) but Bram pelts a chair at
Davey for the DQ at 4:30.
D+. This didn’t have time to go
anywhere, much like the entire show tonight. The Wolves need
challengers and Bram/Magnus fit the description, but in a show this
rushed due to a LONG Dreamer speech, there’s no time to showcase the
match at all. Bram wanting to hurt people instead of win is
and Willow save Davey from having his neck Pillmanized.
talks to a crying Brian Hebner and implies that he’s fired if Brian
doesn’t screw over Eric.
and Bram reveal they were paid off to hurt the Wolves. Abyss and
Willow attack them.
Kim brings out the returning Terryn Terrell. We get the required “I
respect you” speech Terryn says she’s back after having a baby girl
but remembers being tied 1-1 with Gail. Therefore, we need a rubber
match to determine the best Knockout. This brings out the Beautiful
People with Angelina saying Gail doesn’t run this division. Gail and
Terryn get jumped but eventually Terrell cleans house and the
Beautiful People are sent running. Nothing special here but it was
ANYTHING other than MVP/Dixie so I’ll take it.
of MVP, he goes to see what Angle wants. Angle wants MVP to look
inside himself and see what he’s really doing. This goes nowhere as
Angle is ejected from the building as well.
and Terryn are sent out for no apparent reason.
says he’s never seen anything like this because the backstage area
and productions staff is completely gone. MVP pops up because his
198 segments tonight haven’t been enough. He ejects JB and the
cameraman for good measure.
World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Eric Young
is on his own while King and MVP are in Lashley’s corner. A
clothesline puts Lashley to the floor and a big cross body off the
top puts Lashley down again. Back in and Eric’s cross body is caught
in mid air but he rolls Lashley up for two. A HUGE backdrop puts the
champion down again and Eric is sent to the floor. Back
from a break with Eric in trouble and getting suplexed down with one
champion makes his comeback and gets two off his third cross body of
the match. Lashley stomps him in the corner but misses a charge,
only to come back with a kick to the ribs. Eric nails the piledriver
out of nowhere but King pulls the referee out at two. Lashley nails
Kenny by mistake and Eric hits a quick DDT. The
top rope elbow misses though and Lashley spears him down for the pin
and the title at 8:45.
D+. This was just a step above
a squash for Lashley and WHY DID THIS NOT HAPPEN ON SUNDAY? I’m sure
there’s some reason for it but given that it’s TNA I doubt they can
explain it to you. Thankfully Young doesn’t come off as a worthless
champion, but he’s only a step above transitional.
lot of celebrating ensues and Eric gets the weakest Pillmanization of
his arm I’ve ever seen. Bobby Roode of all people comes in for the
save to end the show.
Rating: D. Just…..wow. Where
do I even start? We’ll cover the few good things first. The triple
threat tag match was an actually good match with the teams looking
solid. Also, Lashley being World Champion is a smart move, albeit
WAY too late in his career. The fact that he’s an MVP lackey doesn’t
help either but it’s a step in the right direction. That ends our
good things tonight, unless you could Terryn in her dress.
every problem the company has but on steroids: total reliance on one
story/set of characters, matches being booked on the fly (as in all
of them tonight) and angles being hotshotted on TV instead of PPV.
As mentioned, why in the world did you not have Lashley win the title
on Sunday and give people a reason to want to buy a pay per view in
the future? This shock TV with breakneck booking isn’t going to work
long term, but when has that ever stopped TNA before?
that, WAY too much talking and MVP tonight. He literally had close
to a dozen different appearances and didn’t really do anything
different most of the time. The Dreamer speech led nowhere, but I’m
assuming we’ll get the 184th ECW team to take on Spud and
Ethan in the future. You know, because ECW still matters. Horrible
show and I’m exhausted after watching it.
Kenny King – Small package
Austin Aries/Samoa Joe and Willow/Abyss – Powerbomb/Backstabber
combo to Willow
Bram/Magnus via DQ when Bram used a chair
b. Eric Young – Spear
About the creation of Create A Pro Wrestling School: Not being booked in The WWE, I became completely paranoid and fearful of being called on the road and being out of ring shape. And any wrestler knows that you can’t really duplicate what we do in the ring conditioning-wise. You can’t duplicate wrestling unless you wrestle. To be honest with you, I just wanted a place to train. One night, Pat Buck and I were just spitballing at dinner after a training session at The Pro Wrestling Syndicate School in Rahway, NJ, and I said I’d love to open a school in New York, and Pat Said he’d love to do it with me and I was like, “ok” and it just caught fire from there. It was something I was always going to do and it was always a dream of mine to open a wrestling school, and it might have happened a little sooner than I ever thought, but now that I have it and we’re cooking on all cylinders and I get the satisfaction of teaching guys, and seeing guys develop and understand stuff. I can’t wait ’til these guys to have matches.
On working with top names like Edge & Undertaker: It was a once in a lifetime, indescribable, priceless learning experience. I can tell you honestly that I probably pitched 400 ideas the whole time I was in WWE and that was the ONE time they said, “Yeah sure” when we pitched can we be Edge’s henchmen. You know we’ll look like him and they actually went with it. That’s how hard it is to get things going. I don’t know what it is or why they say yes or no. Sometimes I feel like they need to be the ones that have the idea for it to work it but I’m forever grateful for it because the opportunity was indescribable. I mean, I wrestled Shawn Michaels & Ric Flair in a steel cage in Chicago. I’ve wrestled The Undertaker more times than I can remember. I basically shadowed Edge for an entire year seeing him prepare for world title matches on PPVs and WrestleMania. I saw it all first hand. It was an incredible learning environment that could never be duplicated again. I’ll always be grateful for that.
On NXT: I loved NXT and performing and being a part of the shows. The live arena crowd is absolutely awesome. They are lively and passionate fans and that’s all you can ask for as a performer. I had no interest in being a part of NXT and training or things like that because I’m ten years in and I don’t think I need to be in there going over headlocks and armdrags, or taking unnecessary bumps that I don’t need to be taking.
On his WWE release: It was expected to an extent. Really I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. They weren’t using me and I was just living this life of sitting and waiting around and not able to commit to things in my real life. Like if I wanted to go a wedding, I never know if they (WWE) are going to come calling. It was kind of annoying, to be honest with you. And anyone that knows me knows that I’m just crazy about wrestling, and I’ve had my pulse on the Indy scene and it’s something I’ve been dying to dive into and now I finally can.
For more with Curt Hawkins, including his main run in WWE, not being used, Brian Pillman’s influence on his career, his future, and more, go to www.shiningwizards.com and listen to Episode 156: Shining Wizards Wildlife Foundation, Hawks and Fish. The Shining Wizards Podcast is available on iTunes, Stitcher Radio, AudioBoo, Geek Life Radio, Clutch and Wiggle Entertainment, Marks 4 Life, and the Shining Wizards Network (www.shiningwizardsnetwork.com).
May 17, 1986
Your hosts are Bruno Sammartino and Vince McMahon
Tonight, the featured match will be the British Bulldogs vs. King Kong Bundy & Big John Studd in a non-title match.
If any of you care to join me, I’ll be streaming old wrestling games using a Retron 5.
June 12, 2014
Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Mike Tenay, Tazz
the go home show for Slammiversary and the big story is of course a
war between Dixie Carter and MVP because where would we be without
the focus being on Dixie? The problem with Impact’s taping schedule
rears its head again tonight and this weekend though as MVP is
injured and may not be able to go on Sunday, so everything tonight
may mean nothing at all. Let’s get to it.
open with a video narrated by MVP, talking about how he’s risen to
Eric Young in gear to open the show. Young says this Sunday is the
biggest match of his career but he wants to say something to the trio
in person. MVP comes out and explains that he and Dixie don’t see
things the same so Eric has MVP’s undivided attention. Eric is ready
for Sunday but MVP says he’s still half man and half amazing, so
after he takes the title on Sunday, Eric can go back to fishing.
the plug for Young’s fishing show, Eric asks that Sunday be a fair
fight. MVP likes the idea but he can’t guarantee that Lashley and
King can control themselves. Young says he has no problem with
losing a fair fight, but getting beaten down three on one isn’t
wrestling. He’s willing to do anything to make sure it’s even on
Sunday and MVP likes the sound of that.
can pick the stipulation on Sunday, if Eric can beat all three of
them in one night. King says Eric couldn’t beat two of them but Eric
is ready to try. MVP is willing to give Eric a break and says Eric
can pick the stipulations if he wins 2/3. The deal is made and it’s
Lashley up first.
Young vs. Bobby Lashley
hammers away to start but gets drilled with forearms in the corner.
A backdrop puts Bobby down but Eric comes back with a running forearm
that appeared to mostly miss. Young avoids a charge in the corner
but does a Flair Flip into the sliding sunset flip. Lashley will
have none of that though and launches Eric to the floor.
is sent into the steps and comes up holding his back. Lashley is no
idiot and puts on a torture rack followed by an over the shoulder
backbreaker. Young punches his way out and nails a nice dropkick
before stopping a charging Bobby with two boots in the corner. He
jumps off the corner into the Dominator powerslam though and Lashley
gets the pin at 5:11.
D+. Basic match here and I
already don’t like the booking here. Young went from fresh to pinned
clean in less than six minutes three days before a PPV title defense.
You have Young beat King before this match and then have him lose to
Lashley to protect him and get the same result. Why is that so hard?
goes after Young again but Samoa Joe makes the save.
says he’s bruised but not broken. He’ll turn the tide tonight
because patience is on vacation.
Young can’t stand up but says he has to go back out there.
Joe says this is the latest sign of a problem with MVP.
are Bram and Magnus in street clothes with something to say. Bram
talks about how Magnus was treated so badly and turned into someone
Bram didn’t know. Magnus says he and Bram are unstoppable and
they’ve made Jeff Hardy so scared that he’s gotten a new identity.
Willow comes out and says he’s from Jeff Hardy’s Imagin-I-Nation and
says he goes where Jeff can’t.
vs. Magnus is set for Sunday and Willow says they’ll (as in himself
and someone else) will celebrate. Bram: “You and Jeff Hardy?
YOU’RE THE SAME BLOODY PERSON!” Willow admits that he’s Hardy and
says someone will be in his corner on Sunday. Bram asks who and it’s
Abyss, who comes out to clean house.
Carter III says his aunt isn’t here tonight but he’ll take care of
the family business. They’re the Carters after all.
E. vs. Knux
comedy story continues as Robbie is terrified of clowns, including
Crazy Steve at ringside. Robbie hits on Rebel but The Freak easily
chases him off. Robbie’s right hands are stopped by a Steve
distraction, allowing Knux to hit a nice running cross body. E.
comes back with a nice middle rope clothesline but DJZ and Steve get
in a horn off. Knux splashes Robbie in the corner as the Freak takes
care of the other Bro Mans. Back in and a nice Sky High pins Robbie
D+. Not much to see here but
that Sky High was really nice, as was Rebel. At the end of the day,
the division needs challengers for the Wolves but one of the few
teams is being wasted in this comedy feud. To be fair though, the
Bro Mans are comedy characters so what else do you expect?
match Steve attaches balloons to Robbie’s back to freak him out.
and Spud are talking in the back when Brooke returns. She doesn’t
say anything but she returns.
and Spud are in the ring with three chairs set up. Ethan brings out
Brooke as he plans on exposing the past sins of Bully Ray. He asks
Brooke if she was in a relationship with Ray and asks why it’s over.
Carter accuses Ray of being an alcoholic and trying to put Brooke
through a table but Brooke denies it. Spud says he can’t deal with
this anymore because he has the results. Apparently Ray IS the
father, even though Brooke hasn’t had a baby. Spud produces pictures
of Ray next to an angry looking kid but Ethan is annoyed. He
threatens Brooke until Ray comes out and runs them off.
he deals with Carter and Spud, Ray wants to apologize to Brooke. He
treated her horribly despite her being an amazing girlfriend. Now
Ray is in a better place in his life and wants to wish Brooke the
best. They hug and Ethan sounds like he’s gagging. Ethan and Ray
argue for a bit until Ethan challenges Ray to a tables match on
Sunday, because Ray is putting Dixie through a table over Ethan’s
dead body. Ray loves the idea of a dead body and starts a chant
about it, but he’ll decline the tables match. Instead, since we’ll
be in Carter Country in Dallas, let’s make it a Texas death match.
Ethan says it’s on.
tells Kenny King to keep focused out there tonight.
King vs. Eric Young
match in Young’s 2/3 challenge tonight. Young gets armdragged down
to start and his back is already bothering him. They head to the
floor with the champion in even more trouble. Back in and Young
shoves him off the top, only to get slammed down for his troubles.
Young avoids a springboard Swanton Bomb and nails the piledriver out
of nowhere for the pin at 5:12.
D+. This didn’t have time to go
anywhere and the outcome was already completely clear. I still don’t
get why this wasn’t in another order, but it’s TNA so this isn’t the
biggest problem that they have to deal with. It also doesn’t help
that the fans are already sick of seeing the same people over and
over again and now they get to see the same guy three times in one
says he’ll keep fighting.
vs. Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim
gets Angelina on Sunday. Brittany and Madison double team Gail to
start but Madison won’t high five her. Gail dropkicks both of them
to the floor and does it again through the ropes. Cue the Beautiful
People as we take a break. Back with the Beautiful People on
commentary and Madison hitting a headsicssors on Gail, followed by a
slow motion victory roll for two. Gail puts a leg choke on Brittany
but gets caught in a cross armbreaker by Madison.
makes Gail let go of her hold but she rolls Madison up for two. Kim
goes up top but gets caught in a double superplex (with her
thankfully kicking off the post to make it easier for them) to put
all three down. Madison nails Brittany but gets sent to the floor as
a result. Gail puts Brittany in the figure four around the post as
the Beautiful People come out to ringside. Kim runs Brittany over as
Angelina distracts the referee. Velvet sprays Brittany in the eyes
by mistake, allowing Gail to hit Eat Defeat for the pin at 10:09.
D+. This gives us I believe the
title match between Angelina and Gail. That’s the problem with the
entire Knockouts division as a whole: it’s the same core group of
about five girls having the same feuds and the same matches over and
over and over with only occasionally someone jumping into the
division, getting a title run, then leaving it back to the core
group. Just please find a new direction for the next 8 years so I
don’t have to watch the Beautiful People vs. Gail/Madison again.
is talking to Brian Hebner and says it’s going to be a fair main
run down the PPV card. The only added match is King vs. Aries.
vs. Eric Young
Young wins he gets to pick the stipulation. Lashley and King jump
Young in the aisle before the bell and we take a break about five
seconds after the match starts. Back with MVP staying on Young’
sback and putting him in a camel clutch before just letting it go so
he can get two off an uppercut. A wicked powerbomb gets two and a
buckle bomb sets up the running boot to the face in the corner for a
close two on the champion. MVP grabs a chair to sit in and talk some
trash but Young is starting to get up. Instead MVP picks up the
chair to blast Eric in the back for the DQ at 10:14.
C. The match made sense and at
least they didn’t give it a clean finish. MVP being the cocky heel
makes sense and going after the back as much as he did makes even
more sense, but I’ve over this feud already. MVP almost has to win
the title on Sunday, if nothing else to end this over done Eric Young
says pick whatever stipulation you want and poses with the belt. The
trio leaves and Young makes it a cage match to end the show.
Rating: C-. This was
significantly better than most of their previous shows but it still
had its issues. First and foremost, WAY too much Eric Young, which
is another incarnation of the same issue they’ve been having time
after time now: too much of the same idea, meaning that if you don’t
like that one idea, there’s no need for you to watch the show. The
stuff they had wasn’t terible and it set up the payoff at the end
well enough, but I don’t really want to see Young for a fourth time
in three days.
than that, the show wasn’t that bad and they did a good job of
setting up the show on Sunday. That’s TNA in a nutshell: the payoff
is usually decent, but man alive is it hard to get through the
buildup. The wrestling was pretty standard tonight, but a lot of
angles were advanced and you can see the logical matches coming on
a five match card with a comedy match, a Knockouts three way and then
three Eric Young matches (including the World Title match three days
before the pay per view) doesn’t do it for me, especially when there
were so many people (Aries, Anderson and Storm to be exact) that
didn’t get any time tonight. Also the X-Division is having a multi
man ladder match on Sunday and wasn’t mentioned at all here. That’s
TNA for you: they do some ok stuff, but it’s at a bad expense of
Lashley b. Eric Young – Dominator
b. Robbie E. – Sky High
Young b. Kenny King – Piledriver
Kim b. Brittany and Madison Rayne – Eat Defeat to Brittany
Young b. MVP via DQ when MVP used a chair
So after reading comments over the past year(s?) or so about giving away main event matches on free tv (or at least ‘superstar’ vs ‘superstar’ bouts), it got me thinking of the alternatives.
Sure, one that’s been mentioned many-a-time by us BoD’ers is the concept of bringing back the jobbers. I have my reservations about this one. Perhaps you could slowly reintegrate it, but I just can’t see it being the answer. I think the fans have become far too conditioned to seeing stars vs. stars (i’m even talking about guys like 3MB. They are at the very least seen as WWE Superstars).
So here’s one for you:
How about going back to less wrestling?
Bear with me here…
I started watching TNA in 2008 when Russo had the book. I recall being really in to Impact throughout 2008-2009. What I really enjoyed was the segments and characters (it’s a pretty talented roster at this point. Steiner was entertaining enough by himself, but along with the Mafia, I really thought they were pretty great. I thoroughly enjoyed the angle they did with Sting, but I think they really blew the Morgan angle), with a smattering of good matches.
It was a 2 hour show that was heavy on segments and storyline development (no sniggering, please), and left the big-time, big-fight matches for the PPV’s, more often than not.
Sure, you’d still have some rare treats as the main events on Impact, but you knew for fact you’d see the guys get more time on the PPV’s, and therefore have a better quality and more ‘main event’ feel match on them, too.
It’s also worth noting that Russo said (stop with the sniggering at the back!) segments tend to draw better than the matches themselves. Worth mentioning, I guess.
But this isn’t to say that WWE could pull this off. I mean let’s face it – we’re all pretty sick of the heavily scripted segments, all shot against a fake office with weird red/blue lighting (i’ve never quite understood that..). What TNA did at least was add some variety and take the angles around the arena, to different areas, to outside, to bars, to wherever the fuck. It freshened things up, and enabled the talent to work in different scenarios where they can adapt to their surroundings and have a bit of fun with it, something WWE could really do with right about now.
What’s your thoughts? Total bullshit? Agree? Have an alternative? Let’s hear it!
June 5, 2014
Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Mike Tenay, Tazz
only a few weeks away from Slammiversary and the interesting thing is
MVP has injured his knee in a match in England. However, everything
tonight has been taped in advance, so unless something taped has been
added in, it’s going to be interesting to see if he can make the
title match or not. As for tonight, I’m sure we’re going to be
bombarded with stuff about the trio which still needs a name. Let’s
get to it.
open with a recap of the Trio’s dominance until Samoa Joe made the
save to end last week’s show.
trio is looking for Samoa Joe.
Joe comes out with something to say. Joe talks about MVP looking for
him, so here he is to make things easy for the boss. Cue the trio
with King saying he’s tired of Joe trying to be a tough guy. Joe
gets right in MVP’s face and tells him what the mouthpiece can do
with his mouth. MVP says time is money and Joe is wasting his. Joe
calls MVP a scumbag and a liar but MVP yells at him for bailing after
losing a gauntlet match. Unlike Joe, MVP did his job. Joe wants to
fight all of them tonight but here’s Austin Aries to interrupt.
Aries wants in on this fight, so MVP makes Aries vs. Joe for tonight,
loser leaving TNA.
is ready for his fight with Willow tonight. However, he doesn’t
think Magnus will ever be ready.
hammers away in the corner to start but Bram takes over on the floor.
Back in and an elbow to the jaw puts Willow down for some trash
talking stomps. Willow nails three straight dropkicks including the
slingshot version in the corner. They head outside again and Willow
hits a big dive to take over again. Poetry In Motion off the steps
has Bram in trouble but he sends Willow into the steps to put Willow
down. Bram rams him into the steps and throws Willow back inside
before pulling out that crowbar. Magnus tries to talk him out of it
but Magnus blasts Willow with it instead for the DQ at 4:58.
C. This was more angle than
match but the high spots were good. Bram is a solid guy out there
and has a great look to him so I can’t complain all that much.
Willow isn’t really all that extreme and is pretty much just Jeff
Hardy with a stupid looking mask, making the whole thing stupid.
gets in an argument with the Wolves before putting them in a match
against each other. If they don’t do it, they lose the belts.
Anderson is imitating James Storm at some bar.
Richards vs. Eddie Edwards
still has bad ribs. Kenny King is watch the match from the stage and
doesn’t seem pleased. The Wolves starts very tentatively as they
don’t want to hurt each other but King demands that the Wolves start
showing some teeth. They trade modified surfboards followed by a
half crab from Edwards. Eddie finally rolls him up
for the pin at 4:20.
D. This wasn’t supposed to be
much of a match, but I’m really not sure what it was supposed to
accomplish. Given how King was talking you would think he’d get
beaten up after the match, but did they really need to fill in six
minutes on this whole thing just for that kind of a payoff?
says that’s not good enough and wants to see someone get beaten up.
I think you can figure it out from there, but in case you can’t, King
gets taken apart.
Carter freaks out on MVP for putting Aries and Joe in a contract
match. MVP says don’t worry about it.
recap Brittany telling Madison how she really felt.
tells Brittany to stay out of her title match this week.
E. is scared of the clown in the Menagerie. Apparently he had a bad
experience when he was ten years old and it still freaks him out
tells the referee that there must be a winner in Joe vs. Aries.
went home because MVP was another power hungry villain. Aries comes
in and says Joe did go home. He says he saw MVP for what he was
months ago and got sent home as a result. Tonight they’re both in
trouble but only one can win.
BroMans are in the ring and Robbie is still freaking out over the
clowns. This brings out the Menagerie to laugh at the BroMans and
scare them to death with the balloons. DJZ and Crazy Steve get in a
horn off and the Menagerie cleans house.
and Eric Young tell the referee to do the right thing tonight.
Referee Brian Hebner says he has to put food on his table and leaves.
Ray says they’ll do what they have to do.
and Samuel Shaw play Go Fish in the psych ward.
Aries vs. Samoa Joe
is gone. Joe hammers away to start and hits an early Facewash in the
corner. Aries fights out of the MuscleBuster and gets two off a
rollup but Joe is too big to be taken up in the brainbuster. Instead
Joe sends him into the corner for the enziguri but Aries rolls out of
the corner Rock Bottom. There’s the Last Chancery but Eric Young
comes out to pull Brian Hebner to the floor. He does the same when
Joe puts on the Clutch and Bully Ray punches Hebner out. Joe and
Aries are ticked off and we’ll call this a no contest at 5:30.
C-. You can barely grade this
due to the ending, which is the biggest problem with the whole thing:
this is the second match of the night that hasn’t had enough time to
go anywhere and has been about the trio angle instead of anything
else. That story is dominating everything and it’s getting annoying
in a hurry. Also, nice job on that whole THERE MUST BE A WINNER
thing that we spent three scenes on.
of which, here’s the trio to say that MVP runs TNA. Ray says MVP has
a god complex and should come fight. After some trash talk, we get
the following match made for tonight: Bully Ray/Eric Young/Austin
Aries/Samoa Joe vs. MVP/Kenny King/Bobby Lashley/Ethan Carter III, and let’s
make it first blood because why not.
makes fun of cowboys again.
Anderson is in the arena as the most stereotypical cowboy ever.
James Storm finally comes out and says he doesn’t take kindly to a
man cheating in a drinking contest. Storm wants to fight but not
tonight. Anderson comes out and the fight is on with
Storm getting the better of it and nailing Last Call. A challenge is
made for Slammiversary.
brings Shaw his sketchbook as part of his therapy. After a break,
Gunner looks at drawings of Shaw in Christy’s shadown, Shaw’s house
and Shaw’s mom. There’s an unfinished drawing of what looks to be
Gunner, who asks Shaw to finish it now.
Title: Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love
is defending and heads
outside at the bell. The chase is on with Angelina chasing after
Velvet for some reason until Madison catches the champion in the
ring. A Velvet distraction lets Angelina dropkick Rayne to the floor
and here’s Brittany to check on her. Back in and Madison nails some
clotheslines to take over followed by the mat humper. Not that it
matters as Velvet sprays hairspray into Brittany’s eyes to give Love
the pin at 4:00.
D+. Yes believe it or not, this
was the exact same thing we’ve seen from the Beautiful People since
they reunited. I’m assuming we’re leading towards Brittany being
hurt by Madison not wanting her and join the Beautiful People as a
result, but it’s not exactly thrilling stuff getting there.
a break, Madison wants to know why Brittany didn’t help her.
Brittany logically points out that she did exactly what Madison told
her to do.
Carter III/MVP/Kenny King/Bobby Lashley vs. Eric Young/Samoa
Joe/Bully Ray/Eric Young
blood for no apparent reason. Aries and King get us going as you
have to tag in a match where it’s about blood. A quick Last Chancery
is broken up by Ethan so Aries takes him over to the corner for a tag
off to Young. Carter runs away from Ray but Bully wants MVP. They
slug it out with Ray getting the better of it via a big boot to the
face so it’s quickly off to King. Ray catches him in a front
facelock and brings in Joe. King runs off as well so we get Lashley
vs. Joe in a showdown. That sounds interesting so let’s take a
with Joe hitting the running enziguri in the corner on Lashley and
bringing in the World Champion. Eric gets taken down in the corner
and the heels stat their shots to the head. They show some nice
thinking by going after the forehead with punches and kicks followed
by a hard elbow from MVP. All four villains get in some shots to
Young’s head with Ethan asking if Eric is ready to bleed.
finally breaks free and makes the tag off to Joe who clans house.
Lashley spears him down but gets caught by an Eric missile dropkick.
Everything breaks down and we get the secondary finishers a go-go.
Aries dives off the top to take out MVP and King but Ethan plants Ray
with a spinebuster. Ray grabs the chain and blasts Carter in the
head for the blood and the win at 14:45.
D+. I have no idea why this was
a first blood match. It’s not terrible but there was no reason to
not have this be a regular match and have Ray pin King. The match
didn’t do anything of note though and doesn’t advance the story for
the most part. Considering there are only two matches set for
Slammiversary, this wasn’t the most logical match.
the winners celebrate, we cut to the back to see the trio destroying
Ethan. Dixie breaks it up and gets in MVP’s face, saying the same
blood in Ethan flows through her. MVP doesn’t care so Dixie says if
he wants a war, he’s got one. This REALLY felt like something to
make us sympathize with the Carters and that’s about as bad of an
idea as they could have.
Rating: D+. The more I watch
TNA, the more it becomes apparent that this main event scene is a
disaster. There are WAY too many people running around in it as you
have the eight in the main event tonight, plus the Wolves and Dixie.
That’s WAY too much for one angle and it’s bogging things down. It
doesn’t help that we have to sit through the long series of segments
over and over again every week because almost nothing else gets
at the Wolves for example. Their match was set up in about 30
seconds, it didn’t even last five minutes, and it was never mentioned
again. It’s clear that their match wasn’t a priority at all and that
they were on the card so we would remember they exist and happen to
be champions. The angle needs to split into stand alone stories (Joe
vs. Lashley and Ray vs. Carter would work fine) to let the main event
breathe a bit.
top of that, Eric Young feels like he’s just there because he’s World
Champion. I know that that’s obvious, but he feels like a supporting
character in what’s really Bully and Aries’ fight with the trio. It
would make sense to get the title off of Young soon and get the real
big names into the feud. Young has been fine in the role, but he’s
just not a World Champion caliber guy.
there is some hope for TNA: the midcard stuff actually has my
interest. I’m curious to see where the Gunner/Shaw stuff goes and
the Storm vs. Anderson match should be good. Adding Brittany into
the Beautiful People stuff is at least something different and
Bram/Magnus as a ruthless team is good stuff. There are some solid
stories in TNA if you can get past half the roster being in one
b. Bram via DQ when Magnus interfered
Edwards b. Davey Richards – Rollup
Aries vs. Samoa Joe went to a no contest
Love b. Madison Rayne – Rollup
Ray/Eric Young/Samoa Joe/Austin Aries b. Ethan Carter III/Bobby
Lashley/MVP/Kenny King – Chain shot to Carter
May 3, 1986
Your hosts are Bruno Sammartino and Vince McMahon
This week in action are Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff, The Dream Team, The British Bulldogs, Jake “The Snake” Roberts, Ricky Steamboat, and the featured bout, Randy Savage & Bob Orton vs. Tito Santana & Paul Orndorff. Plus, the debut of the “Flower Shop” with “Adorable” Adrian Adonis.
The Dream Team w/ Johnny Valiant vs. Don Driggers & Tony Garea
Garea looks so miserable here. Valentine pounds on him in the corner but Garea comes back with a hiptoss. Valentine catches Garea with an elbow and then tags Brutus, who does the same. Garea is able to get in a small package then tags Driggers, who immediately gets destroyed by Brutus. The Dream Team suplex Driggers around until Valentine makes him submit to the figure four (4:22).
Thoughts: They were pushing that the Dream Team were still angry over losing the tag belts. Garea’s selling in this match was so fucking lazy. Usually in these matches, he gets to show off a bit while his partner gets abused but Garea did not get to do much and was not happy.
WWF Update with Lord Alfred Hayes. This week, they show us how Terry Funk got injured by JYD at WrestleMania 2. Hayes lets us know that Funk’s brother, Jimmy Jack Funk, will be temporarily taking his place. Jimmy Jack has yet to debut on TV by the way.
Al Navarro vs. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat
Steamboat easily escapes after being cornered by Navarro and fights back. He works a side headlock on the mat that Navarro escapes but Steamboat shows off his agility and speed in eluding him and regains control of the match. Navarro slams Steamboat, who fights right back and finishes him off with the flying body press (2:56).
Thoughts: The fans dug Steamboat, especially the kids. It was nice to see him in a singles match instead of teaming with King Tonga.
Mean Gene is with Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik who know that they can beat the British Bulldogs. This is the debut of the new interview background, which featured the WWF logo all over the blue backdrop.
Scott McGhee & John Centeno vs. Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff w/ Freddie Blassie
The crowd starts a “USA” chant during the ring introductions. Sheik tosses Centeno around as Blassie joins on commentary and issues a challenge against the British Bulldogs for the belts. McGhee tags and hits a dropkick but ducks his head and Sheik boots him down. Both men tag out as Volkoff destroys Centeno as Blassie wants Kirchner to face the Sheik next week. Sheik tags then makes Centeno submit to the Camel Clutch (2:08).
Thoughts: They are building up the evil foreigners as a threat to the Bulldogs and continuing their feud with Kirchner.
Gene Okerlund is with Ricky Steamboat, who said he has had a rough year but took on all challengers. They all but tell us that his feud with Muraco and Fuji has ended then hints at a possible feud with Jake Roberts as Steamboat brings up the snake. This was done to hype their “Saturday Night’s Main Event” match that took place the night this show aired.
Paul Christy & Cyclone Capone vs. British Bulldogs
No Albano this week. Davey gets a nearfall with a crossbody after an Irish whip sequence. Capone tags and Davey backdrops him and tags Dynamite, who kills him with a few suplexes. Davey tags and hits a powerslam and a delayed vertical suplex as poor Capone is taking a shit-kicking. Davey grabs a chinlock then tags Dynamite who goes up top and Davey gives him Capone so Dynamite can hit a super powerslam for the win (3:04).
Thoughts: The Bulldogs were so damn impressive here and it looked even better because no one else in the company were wrestling the same style that they were and their moves were fresh and new to the WWF audience.
The Flower Shop makes it debut with host “Adorable” Adrian Adonis. The crowd immediately starts a “Faggot” chant then Adonis welcomes his first guest, Hillbilly Jim. Adonis questions Jim about his name then asks him the whereabouts of Uncle Elmer. Jim said that Elmer is hurt and that he will have to deal with him when he gets back. A rocky start to the “Flower Shop” segment as this just felt awkward and did nothing to advance his feud against the hillbillies.
Serge Jodoin vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts
Jake takes down Jodoin then they have a miscommunication spot that seems to have pissed off Jake. He beats on Jodoin, who is tied up in the ropes. Jake hits a press slam then targets the neck for a bit. He then drags Jodoin near the snake bag as Bobby Heenan joins the announcers table and tells us that Andre did not show up last week because he is “yellow” due to the abuse suffered from Bundy and Studd and wants the results of the investigation of Andre’s whereabouts handed to him as Jake puts away Jodoin with the DDT (2:55). After the match, Jake dumps the snake on Jodoin.
Thoughts: Jake looked good but the big news here was on commentary when Heenan brought up how he wanted Andre to be investigated and called him out for not showing up last week
Tito Santana & “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff vs. “Cowboy” Bob Orton & Randy “Macho Man” Savage w/ Elizabeth
Orndorff catches Orton with a powerslam then Savage tags. Orndorff tags Tito and Savage jumps outside and stalls before tagging Orton. Orndorff comes back in and Orton takes him down. They fight over a headscissors on the mat then Orton gets two off of a backslide. Tito tags and works the arm of Orndorff but goes after Savage and Orton catches him with a backbreaker. Orton gets two off of a clothesline then Savage cheapshots Tito. Orton goes back on the attack but Tito escapes and tags Orndorff, who cleans house. Tito catches Orton with a powerslam but Savage knees Tito in the back. Savage then tags himself in and whips Tito but he comes back with the flying forearm and covers Savage for the win (4:08). The crowd popped big for that.
Thoughts: Fun match and a nice way to end the show. Tito was a fan favorite and the crowd loved him.
Okerlund is with Bobby Heenan, who cannot stop laughing at the hat Oklerund is wearing, calling him a “used boomerang salesman” referencing the WWF’s recent trip to Australia. Studd & Bundy talk trash about Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, and even Paul Orndorff and his $50,000 bounty, which has been a year-long storyline.
Next week, Corporal Kirchner vs. Iron Sheik will be the featured match as Kirchner accepted the challenge. Also, we will see highlights from the Ricky Steamboat vs. Jake Roberts match at SNME.
Final Thoughts: Fun show. The featured match was solid and they hinted at a feud between Jake and Steamboat. They also continue to build up teams for the Bulldogs to face and the new angle with Andre seems interesting. And for historical purposes, this had the debut of the “Flower Shop” segment.
Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Mike Tenay, Tazz
week, the only hope that I have is that the focus is spread out a
little bit, rather than having almost everything being about the new
trio. We’re coming up on Slammiversary with Eric Young defending
against MVP, but now we also have to deal with Dixie Carter not being
ok with MVP’s actions. Let’s get to it.
a video on the trio’s dominance and desire for power with a lot of
clips from last week.
Ray to say that he’s obsessed with six people here in TNA. They all
have bullseyes on their backs and he promises to put them all through
tables. There are six tables standing up next to the ramp with names
on them: Lashley, EC3, Kenny King, MVP, Spud and Dixie Carter. Ray
heads to the ring and calls out anybody for a fight right now. He
gets MVP in wrestling gear but the boss is walking slow. MVP says
this isn’t happening tonight and there’s no fun in coming to the ring
for a fight. Well, at least not on his own.
Lashley come out as well but EC3 and Spud slide into jump Ray. The
trio gets in as well and Ray is in big trouble. EC3 and Spud bring
the Spud table to the ring but Eric Young, Austin Aries and the
Wolves come in for the save. The heels leave but Spud gets caught.
Aries wants a six man tag and Ray wants it next. As a preview, Ray
hits a middle rope powerbomb to drive Spud through the table.
Lashley/Kenny King vs. Wolves/Austin Aries
joined in process in a big brawl on the floor as we come back. It’s
Lashley throwing Aries around to get us going legally before choking
away. Aries comes back with some kicks to the leg as Edwards and
King come inside for brawling as well. Aries escapes the powerslam
and low bridges Lashley to the floor. King is sent outside the same
way, followed by Richards (with his heavily taped ribs) sending MVP
out to join them. The Wolves hit stereo dives and Aries comes off
the top to take out Lashley as we take a break.
King in trouble but MVP throws in a kick from the apron to put
Edwards in trouble. Lashley comes in off the tag and throws Eddie
around with ease. He drives shoulders in the corner before it’s back
to MVP for a hard lariat and two. King comes back in but Edwards
flips out of a German suplex and makes the tag to Aries.
hard but gets caught in a running powerslam from Lashley. Aries
escapes the Royal Flush though and nails the brainbuster on King.
Back to Richards who goes up and rips the tape off his ribs, only to
have the double stomp hit King’s shoulders. Lashley spears him down
though and MVP hits a Drive By for the pin on Edwards at 14:50.
Not bad but the injury was clearly going to be the focal point of the
match. I’m kind of surprised they had this match here instead of
swapping some people in for a big match at the pay per view. I’m
really hoping Dixie’s team doesn’t hook up with the trio but it
certainly looks like we’re heading that way.
Magnus to be out there for his match.
worried about going through a table but Dixie says don’t worry about
it because she has business with MVP.
Tigre down to start and growls at him with some freaky eyes. Uno
fights out of a choke but gets clotheslined down for his efforts. An
Impaler DDT gets the pin on Tigre at 2:08.
Magnus has to stop Bram from killing Tigre with the metal rod. Bram
says the old Magnus would have ripped the mask off and beaten him
senseless. Magnus says maybe Bram needs a better opponent. Maybe
someone a little crazy. Maybe a former World Champion. Maybe….it
should be Willow.
Gunner what’s up with him and Shaw. Gunner says Anderson knows what
it’s like to be in the military and Shaw just needs someone to talk
to. They’re a team tonight.
wants Madison Rayne’s help against the Beautiful People tonight.
Madison tells her to not have the match and Brittany reluctantly
Anderson vs. BroMans
jump Gunner and Anderson to start and it’s Gunner in early trouble.
Double teaming ensues and Robbie gets two off a middle rope knee
drop. Gunner comes back with a bad looking fall away slam and it’s
off to Anderson to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Mic
Check sets up a top rope headbutt from Gunner for the pin on Robbie
Just a glorified squash here as Anderson vs. Gunner seems to be an
upcoming story, even though Anderson vs. Storm was set up over the
last few weeks. The BroMans have gone from Tag Team Champions to
jobber tag team in just a few weeks, even though there’s almost no
one to challenge the Wolves.
match the Menagerie comes out to freak out the BroMans. The goofy
guys (the BroMans if that’s not clear) get destroyed.
Kim agrees to be Brittany’s partner.
are Dixie and Ethan to call out MVP. The trio comes out and Dixie
offers some help, but MVP says he’s got power and a title shot, so
why does he need the Carters? Dixie threatens to go to Dallas and
tell the board what kind of abuse of power MVP has been showing. So
the board of directors doesn’t even watch the show? MVP says he has
a ton of money, which Dixie calls dirty. MVP says he’d love to play
a game of money chicken and see who blinks first.
and Bully come out with weapons but Ray says don’t do it and wait for
the time and place. MVP says it won’t go well for the champion and
Eric should just lose the title and go fish. Bully wants to go now
but Eric stops him. “Time and place. Where were you a few seconds
ago when you said that?” MVP makes Ray vs. Eric with EC3 as the
referee. Ray says no but MVP threatens to fire him.
says go ahead but Dixie asks who is going to pick up the pieces and
fight her and MVP? Eric doesn’t have the ego or stomach to fight
this war. Also, isn’t Bully from New York, because New Yorkers don’t
quit. Ray says he’ll never quit until Dixie is gone. All the people
want Dixie out of here forever and promises to put all five people in
the ring through tables.
look at EC3 injuring Angle’s knee a few weeks back. Earlier
today, Angle said the knee rehab is going well even though he’s still
in a cast. He thanks the fans for their support.
People vs. Brittany/Gail Kim
comes out and then runs up the ramp to point at Gail during her
entrance. Angelina pops Brittany with forearms and a shoulder to
start before running shaking her hips a bit. Velvet
comes in for some choking in the corner but Brittany trips her up for
two. The Beautiful People take her back into the corner for some
double teaming before Brittany finally dives over for the tag.
Brittany tags herself in and says she has this, only to miss a Tajiri
handspring into a moonsault. Angelina kicks her head off with the
Botox Injection to give Velvet the pin at 5:40.
D+. Totally basic match here
but the problem is the story. As I’ve been saying for weeks now,
this is the same stuff we’ve been seeing forever with the Beautiful
People and it hasn’t been interesting in forever. It’s like they’re
just completely out of ideas and they’re doing the same stuff over
and over again.
says if he beats Eric he’ll be #1 contender. They respect each other
though, because that’s just what you do in TNA.
and Brittany is still in the ring. She calls Madison down for a talk
and asks her why she wouldn’t team up against the Beautiful People
tonight. Madison says this is getting weird for her. The issues
with the Beautiful People have been going on for years and there are
some things that only her and the Beautiful People know about. She
won’t be responsible for Brittany being dragged into that. Brittany
says she’ll accept responsibility and only wants to be with Madison.
what Brittany just said and Brittany gets close to her and repeats
it. Rayne shoves her away and says this just went a bit too far.
Brittany needs to keep her distance but that’s too far. Brittany
freaks out and asks why Madison doesn’t like her. Cue the Beautiful
People who say that’s the real Madison Rayne and they made her that
way. Madison says she’s not like either of them and that she’s
coming for the Title next week.
wants to do business with EC3 and he’s kind of interested.
vs. Eric Young
King is guest ring announcers, EC3 is guest referee, Lashley is guest
enforcer and MVP is guest timekeeper because this idea hasn’t been
done to death before. Lashley is holding Eric’s title. Ray actually
starts with an armdrag but Young nails a pair of his own before
dropkicking Ray to the floor. King gets in a cheap shot but Young
comes out to stand guard.
guys still being tentative and not wanting to fight each other while
also having to watch the trio on the floor. Ray finally gets tired
of dealing with it (and we’re running out of time) and kicks Carter
in the face. The trio comes in and beats both guys down for a no
contest at roughly 10:00. I’m not going to rate this as a lot of it
was during the break and there was barely any wrestling at all.
returns for the save and does the always awesome side step of a King
dive. A MuscleBuster to King ends the show.
Rating: D. Do you remember back
in the Aces and 8’s clubhouse when they threw darts to pick out their
next targets? TNA feels like they’ve put every old booking idea on a
dart board and throw darts to pick what they put on the shows. This
week’s show was better than last week’s as they had some other stuff
get focus, but at the same time it had the same lack of energy that
TNA constantly deals with.
all else though, the moment they lost me this week was when Dixie
Carter said Ray didn’t have the ability to fight this war. I
actually said out loud, “Why does it have to be a war?”. We just
got done having a nearly two year war against Aces and 8’s, and now
that team’s leader is on the other side of a war? Why do we need to
do this same thing again? Between that and the two heel groups
seeming to merge or at least have common goals (albeit with issues
between the leaders), it feels like we’re doing the same thing that
people complained about for over a year. Why would I want to watch
King/Bobby Lashley b. Wolves/Austin Aries – Drive By to Richards
Uno – Impaler DDT
Anderson b. BroMans – Flying headbutt to Robbie
People b. Brittany/Gail Kim – Sky pinned Brittany after a Botox
Injection from Love
vs. Bully Ray went to a no contest when Kenny King, Bobby Lashley and
In an interview with RedEye Chicago, he is referred to as a retired pro wrestler and says that it feels “good.”
EDIT: Mike Johnson from PWInsider.com reported that the WWE removed CM Punk & AJ Lee from their talent list for the 7/29 Smackdown Taping in Corpus Christi, TX
April 26, 1986
Your hosts are Bruno Sammartino and Vince McMahon
After last week, Andre the Giant selected as a partner to face Big John Studd & King Kong Bundy. Also in action are King Tonga & Ricky Steamboat, Hercules Hernandez, Tito Santana & Pedro Morales, George Steele & Junkyard Dog, and Jake “The Snake” Roberts.
The Gladiator & Steve Lombardi vs. King Tonga & Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat
Tonga backdrops Lombardi then hits a pair of armdrags. He attacks the arm then tags Steamboat, who continues to work the arm. He gets a one count off of a crossbody then goes back to the arm. The Gladiator tags but Steamboat takes him down with a drop toehold. Tonga tags and hits a dropkick then uses the stump puller for a bit. They continue to beat on the Gladitor until Steamboat puts him away with the flying body press (3:26).
Thoughts: The match itself was fine but the crowd never cared for Tonga and this team was just slapped together for TV purposes and had no steam behind them.
WWF Update with Lord Alfred Hayes. He claims that four million homes around the world and two million in closed circuit locations tuned into WrestleMania 2. Sure they did. They show a clip of William Perry being introduced in the Battle Royal. Hayes closes by saying it was the greatest extravaganza of all time.
Mario Mancini vs. Hercules Hernandez w/ Freddie Blassie
Herc clotheslines Mancini then follows it up with a slam and an elbow drop. Herc moves around so slowly by the way. He hits a suplex that Blassie approves the throws some punches at Mancini as he is draped over the rope. Herc hits some stomps then puts him away with the torture rack (2:50).
Thoughts: As usual, Herc was slow and plodding in the ring and was struggling to get any kind of heat, even with Blassie as his manager.
Gene Okerlund hypes tonight’s Boston Garden House Show then brings out the British Bulldogs, without Albano. Dynamite cuts a horrendous promo, citing that they won the belts on April 27th, which would have been the day after this show aired. Gene shot him a look like he knew he was out of his mind.
Tito Santana & Pedro Morales vs. A.J. Petruzzi & Mr. X
Pedro slams Mr. X but gets his eyes raked. Mr. X hits Pedro with an atomic drop but Pedro made the tag as he was in the air. Pedro also sold the move by landing upright on his feet and walking away mind you as he was in his not giving a fuck mood tonight. Santana clears the ring then tags Pedro, who hits a few slams, before tagging back. Petruzzi beats on Tito briefly until he makes the tag then Pedro and Petruzzi work an awful sequence that was just clumsy and lazy until Tito tags and hits the flying forearm for the win (3:13).
Thoughts: Pedro was the laziest I have seen him at this point. This dude looked hungover as fuck too. The crowd went silent anytime he was in the ring. This pairing was killing Tito, who was far too good and over to be saddled with a wash-up like Morales.
Vince breaks the news that Andre is not here yet for his match.
Okerlund is with Hoss Funk and Jimmy Hart as they hype their 6-man tag match in Boston against Steamboat, JYD, and the Haiti Kid. No Terry here and he actually did not even end up at the show as he was replaced by Jimmy Jack Funk, who had not even made his TV debut yet.
King Kong Bundy & Big John Studd w/ Bobby Heenan vs. Ted Arcidi & Hillbilly Jim
The crowd boos Arcidi and are pissed that Andre is not here. The announcers are confused as to why Andre is not here as the crowd is not happy. Arcidi starts out in the ring with Bundy as the crowd couldn’t care less about Arcidi. He tags Jim and Bundy beats him down until he misses an elbow drop and Jim takes control. Jim misses a charge then Studd tags into the match. Jim escapes then tags Arcidi, who picks up Studd but Bundy prevents an slam from taking place then knocks Jim off of the apron. They double-team Arcidi until they shove the referee and the ref rings the bell for the DQ (2:33).
Thoughts: The bait-and-switch with Andre did not get over with the crowd, at all. They hated Arcidi and Jim was declining in popularity but was still over at least where Arcidi never was.
Piper’s Pit with guests the Killer Bees. Piper makes fun of Brunzell’s broken arm then Orton calls him a cheater for wearing a cast then denies he ever wore one when asked. This leads to Brunzell demonstrating a hold on Orton and a shoving match ensues. Notable for being the last “Piper’s Pit” until the Fall as he went off to Hollywood.
Andre Malo vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts
The crowd is still deflated from the last match. Jake ties Malo in the ropes as the announcers speculate as to what happened to Andre. Malo fights back and slams Jake, who retreats to the corner. Jake then boots Malo and hits a short-armed clothesline before working a headlock on the mat right in front of the snake bag. Jake roughs up Malo for a bit until he puts him away with the DDT (2:34). After the match, Jake dumps the snake on top of Malo and talks to the snake for a bit.
Thoughts: Jake was good but the crowd was only into the snake and they barely cared about that. The Andre no-show killed them dead.
Dave Barbie & Iron Mike Sharpe vs. Junkyard Dog & George Steele w/ Haiti Kid
The heels back Steele into the corner then Sharpe tags into the match. Steele bites his arm and tags JYD who takes out Sharpe and Barbie. Sharpe pulls down JYD and grabs his ankle but the Haiti Kid bites Sharpe in the ass and chases him around the ring as the match breaks down. In the ring, JYD hits a sorry excuse of a clothesline on Sharpe then works on Barbie. The heels beat on JYD briefly but he fights back and hits Barbie with a powerslam for the win (4:30). After the match, a couple of kids come into the ring to dance with the Haiti Kid and George Steele as Vince cackles like an idiot.
Thoughts: The kids in the crowd really dug this stuff and it brought the crowd back to life. The match itself was filled wth comedy spots an awful wrestling from JYD, who was getting worse by the day.
Vince lets us know that next week’s featured matchup will be Tito Santana & Paul Orndorff vs. Randy Savage & Don Muraco. And one of those guys did not acutally take part in the match.
Mean Gene is with the Dream Team and Johnny Valiant, who blames the excessive amount of celebrities and syndicated columnists for distracting his team and allowing the Bulldogs to win the Tag Team Titles.
Next week, we will get an update on Andre the Giant
Final Thoughts: The bait and switch with Andre just about killed this show dead. They at least built some intrigue by saying they will have an update on him next week but being promised Andre and getting Ted Arcidi instead is terrible. Other than that, they have little going in the company except for the Dream Team/Bulldogs feud.