Blog Of Doom WrestleMania 35 Prediction Thread

Hello You!

I recently wrote an article over at Gaming Respawn where I had a bash at predicting some of the matches for WrestleMania 35

I thought we could use this thread to post predictions of who we think will and we can look at it again next week and see how we all did? There’s no prize, other than the warm glow of knowing you were able to predict some of the results correctly, but isn’t that reward enough?

This was written on Monday prior to Raw, so it was before all the tag title matches were officially added to the card. With that in mind, I’ll go with Ryder and Hawkins over The Revival, whilst Black and Rick O’Shea pick up the Smackdown tag titles. Neither match will probably get much time, and to be honest this Mania probably already has at least 8 matches too many

I’m actually at a wedding on Sunday (I know, how dare they arrange to hold their wedding on WrestleMania Sunday!!!) so I probably won’t be watching Mania until Monday morning, so I’ll see you all on the other side

Enjoy all 7-8 hours of Mania if you’re planning to watch it all live in one go

TakeOver last night was pretty gosh darn good as well, and you can read the thoughts of Scott Keith and Thomas Hall on the show. What with that and New Japan tonight, this weekend is probably already guaranteed to be a thumbs up, let’s just hope Mania delivers a few classic bouts as well, preferably before the crowd is completely burnt out so that they actually get a good reaction!

Six(+1) of the Best – WrestleMania 21 to 34

Yes, for the one and only time in this feature I’ve decided to bend the rules and do seven picks as opposed to six. This is simply because when I got down to this final list of seven and just couldn’t decide on which of them to cull in order to get it down to six. I just love all of these matches so much that I just couldn’t bring myself to exclude one of them. So, for the first and last time, I’ve done seven matches.

Going in to when I started this feature I felt this list would be the easiest one, but that hasn’t been the case at all. I think this is owing to the fact that work rate and having good matches became a requirement for the big shows in the WWF at a certain point in the 90’s when the 70’s and 80’s carny generation started getting filtered out by wrestlers who had been fans growing up and wanted to have great matches, because that’s what they themselves appreciated as part of their fandom. The older crew of wrestlers saw fans as marks to be worked, whereas the ones who replaced them saw the fans as people who understood what a good match was and wanted to give it to them.

As a result, there were plenty of truly great matches that I loved watching, that didn’t even make the final seven and could have all deservedly made the list. It really was a stacked deck this time out, which is kind of amazing when you take into account that not many of these Mania events would make their way onto my “all-time” list. Despite that, there have been some incredible matches at even the worst of these WrestleMania events, which is a good barometer to how seriously good wrestling is taken amongst some elements of the current WWE hierarchy (And hopefully when the eventual clear out after Vince McMahon is no longer in power happens we’ll see it empathised even more)

I should also address the elephant in the room here by stating that Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle Vs Triple H and Stephanie McMahon isn’t going to be either in the seven matches listed nor the honourable mentions. I know a lot of people loved that match, and I enjoyed it as an entertaining bit of smoke and mirrors, but I didn’t think it was an especially good match and Ronda selling for Stephanie was ludicrous, especially when Stephanie was able to counter Ronda’s arm bar attempt.

I also found it really depressing to see Angle and Triple H wrestling at quarter speed and clearly struggling after years of hard matches. Both of them have given the wrestling world so much and I just don’t want to see either of them wrestle anymore. They’ve done their part and shouldn’t have to keep getting in there. So that’s why the match isn’t listed anywhere on here. I’m sure that will upset some people as the match was very well received, to which I say fair enough. As mentioned last time out, this stuff is subjective and there is no right or wrong answer. If you loved the mixed tag from Mania 34 then that’s all that matters. I liked it, but in a ** entertaining spectacle way rather than a **** great match way, hence why it isn’t here.

As always, these are just my own personal picks. This isn’t supposed to be some sort of objective list or anything. If I leave out a match that you think warrants inclusion, then please feel free to put it down in the comments section below. As with previous lists, I’ll be listing the matches in chronological order.

So without further to do, let’s take a look at Six of the Best for WrestleMania’s 21 to 34!

Read moreSix(+1) of the Best – WrestleMania 21 to 34

Mike Reviews: WrestleMania VIII

Mike Reviews: WWF WrestleMania VIII

Seeing as we’re in WrestleMania week I thought I’d take a moment to post a review of a classic Mania event from 1992. This show kind of sums up 1992 WWF, with both the good and the bad on full display and a couple of notably great matches, as well as one of the biggest stinkers in Mania Main Event history.

So without further ado, let’s set the way back machine to 1992 for WrestleMania VIII

Read moreMike Reviews: WrestleMania VIII

Six of the Best – WrestleMania XI to XX

So here we go with the next part of Six of the Best for WrestleMania, today covering the WrestleMania’s from XI to XX. This one was really difficult because there were so many fantastic matches to choose from and narrowing them down to six was close to impossible. There are definitely going to be disappointed people when it comes to this one, and all I can is that you aren’t wrong for thinking your favourite match/matches should have been included, because six slots really wasn’t enough. However, thems be the rules and I’m ultimately happy enough with my selections.

One notable exclusion will be that of the Iron Man match from WrestleMania XII. The reason for that is that I just don’t like that match, mainly because I find it rather boring. That’s not to say that the work within it is bad, because it most certainly isn’t, but for me it’s really hurt by the lack of falls during the initial 60 minutes, a sentiment shared by large swathes of the live crowd who decided to leave rather than see the bouts conclusion.

Again, if you disagree then that’s absolutely fine. Wrestling is art and art is subjective, so if you love the Iron Man match and think it’s one of the greatest collisions in WrestleMania history then you’re not wrong. At the end of the day, we can all like what we like so long as we’re nice to each other and there ultimately is no correct answer. I just thought it’d be right for me to explain why the match is missing as I’m sure some will be expecting to see it.

As always, these are just my own personal picks. This isn’t supposed to be some sort of objective list or anything. If I leave out a match that you think warrants inclusion, then please feel free to put it down in the comments section below. As with previous lists, I’ll be listing the matches in chronological order.

So without further to do, let’s take a look at Six of the Best for WrestleMania’s XI to XX!

Read moreSix of the Best – WrestleMania XI to XX

Six of the Best – WrestleMania I to X

Seeing as we’re just over a week out from WrestleMania 35, I decided that I’d start putting Six of the Best together for the WWE’s premier event. Due to there being so many WrestleMania events, I’ve decided to split the lists into three categories, those covering WrestleMania’s 1 to 10, those covering WrestleMania’s 11 to 20 and those covering WrestleMania’s 21 to the present day.

Hopefully I’ll be able to get all three articles up before this year’s Mania event. It might take a bit longer than that as I’ve got a LOT of wrestling to watch for this one, but I’ll do my best. This section had by far the biggest shortlist, which is either a comment on the general quality of WrestleMania’s during this period or a comment on how much I personally enjoyed the events covered in this timeframe.

As always, these are just my own personal picks. This isn’t supposed to be some sort of objective list or anything. If I leave out a match that you think warrants inclusion, then please feel free to put it down in the comments section below. As with previous lists, I’ll be listing the matches in chronological order.

So without further to do, let’s take a look at Six of the Best for WrestleMania’s 1 to 10

Read moreSix of the Best – WrestleMania I to X

Mike’s Mini Review: Hulk Hogan Vs King Kong Bundy – WrestleMania 2

With the sad news of the death of King Kong Bundy reverberating through the wrestling world, I decided I’d have a look at possibly his most famous match, where he entered the main event of WrestleMania 2 against reigning WWF Champion Hulk Hogan.

The set up for this match had seen Bundy crush Hogan in the corner with his dreaded “Avalanche” splash, injuring the champ’s ribs in the process. Bundy also switched managers from Jimmy Hart to Bobby Heenan as well, due to Heenan’s camp of wrestlers being Hogan’s main rivals at the time.

Hogan came into the match with a taped mid-section and designs on revenge, whilst Bundy was looking to end Hogan’s over two year reign as champion. As was usually the case with the WWF, this match is about escaping the cage itself, rather than winning by pin fall or submission.

So, without further ado, let’s set the way back machine to 1986 for the main event of the 2nd WrestleMania!

Read moreMike’s Mini Review: Hulk Hogan Vs King Kong Bundy – WrestleMania 2

Jack Swagger as World Heavyweight Champion

Crapendium: World Champion Jack Swagger

I take a look back and see why exactly Jack Swagger’s 2010 run was crap.

If you don’t want to click, the short answer is ”it was supposed to be.”

KB’s History of WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views Now Available in Paperback

You’re all familiar with the Big Four WWE pay per views. Well now you can be even more familiar with them by picking up my collections of reviews, which are now available in PAPERBACK. After years of only having these as e-books I’ve gone through all of them, polished them up, and turned them into actual, physical books. 

They are available worldwide (only in English) from any country’s Amazon page but the US and UK links are available below:

Read moreKB’s History of WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views Now Available in Paperback

ECW on Sci-Fi #42 03/27/2007

It’s the ECW on Sci-Fi before Wrestlemania! On Raw, Vince McMahon pinned the ECW Champion Lashley after interference from half the locker room so the two of them are having an EXTREEEME debate tonight.

Notice the happy, smiling Lashley in the ECW graphic, WWE’s way of telling us we need to cheer him. Worked for Diesel, Luger…

Read moreECW on Sci-Fi #42 03/27/2007

The WrestleMania Top Ten

We are 52 days away from WrestleMania 32. As we count down the days to the biggest show of the year, we will look back at how WrestleMania has changed since it debuted in 1985.

Instead of doing recaps of all the shows (a lot of other people here would do that a lot better than I would), I’m looking to create a Top 10 WrestleMania matches and see how that list changes over the years. We’ll also discuss some other highlights and lowlights of each show.

Read moreThe WrestleMania Top Ten

New E-Book: KB’s History of Wrestlemania

You might have heard about this show before. The show has evolved from a bigger than average house show in Madison Square Garden to a show that takes over a different major city each year as part of a week long event. It has been called the Granddaddy of Them All and the Showcase of the Immortals and lives up to its reputation as the biggest and most important event of the year. In this book I’ll be looking at every edition of the series and breaking down each show segment by segment and match by match. I’ll be including detailed analysis, history and ratings for each match and show overall.

In this book, I’ll be looking at every Wrestlemania to date, starting back with the glorified house show in 1985 and winding up in Santa Clara, California in 2015. Wrestlemania is a show with more prestige and grandeur than any other in wrestling history and now it’s all collected here. These are ALL NEW REVIEWS and the last time I’ll be doing them for a very long time. As usual I’ll be providing play by play, context and analysis of every show.

The books is my longest ever at over 500 pages on a Kindle and only costs $3.99, or the equivalent in other currencies. If you don’t have a Kindle or e-book reader, there are several FREE apps you can use to read it on pretty much any electronic device. You can find those from Amazon here.

You can pick up the book from Amazon here.

From the UK Amazon here.

From the Canadian Amazon here.

Or if you’re in another country with its own Amazon page, just search “KB Wrestlemania” and my book will be the first thing that pop up.

Also you can still get any of my previous books on the WWE Championship, Monday Night Raw from 1997, 1998 and 2001, Monday Nitro from 1995-June 1998, In Your House, Summerslam, Starrcade, ECW Pay Per Views, Royal Rumble, Saturday Night’s Main Event, the WWF and WCW pay per views from 1998 and Clash of the Champions at my author’s page here.

I hope you like it and shoot me any questions you might have.

Thomas Hall

Rock Star Gary reflects on…WWF WrestleMania

Live from New York, NY

Airdate: March 31, 1985

Attendance:  19,121

Hosted by Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura

Here we are–the very first WrestleMania that has spawned over three decades of supershows for the WWF/WWE. Let’s dig in to how the World Wrestling Federation got to this point:

Read moreRock Star Gary reflects on…WWF WrestleMania

No wrecking of Wrestlemania III?

How’s it shaking, Scott?

I was wondering if you could shed some light on something that has always bugged me about Hogan v. Andre at Wrestlemania 3.

From what I remember, the match was hyped on three "facts":

  • Hulk and Andre never fought before.
  • Andre was undefeated for 20+ years
  • Andre had never been slammed

All three are, of course, horse pucky.

So, why had no promoter or wrestler tried to mess with the WWF by unraveling at least one of these lies. Was it respect to Andre? Fear that Vince would blackball/destroy them? I’ve always wondered why there was never even an article in one of the mags with pics of the Showdown at Shea of their first big meeting and a breakdown of how Hulk can survive this time.

​There was absolutely coverage in the Apter mags at the time. They did a big thing about the Shea Stadium match and how Vince McMahon was full of crap and basically lying to people about the buildup. It’s just that the WWF machine was able to yell louder. But given that everyone, even casual fans for the most part, knew that it was built on nonsense and still bought the show anyway, it must have been effective. ​

Wrestlemania 14 alternate universe

Don't know why this popped into my head today, and I'm sure it's been addressed by Its bugging me:
Let's pretend Bret doesn't decide to leave WWE in 97.  All logic throughout from late 96 through 97 seemed to build towards an Austin/Bret rematch at WM 14 where Austin gets his big clean win over Bret to finally become WWE Champion.  Was that the long term plan?  If so, with the Kane angle going, what was Michaels' role supposed to be there?   A feud with HHH over DX?  Owen?

​Yes, Bret putting over Austin was absolutely the long term plan until Montreal fucked it up.  Owen was TOLD that plans were for him to work with Shawn Michaels at that show after Montreal went down, but that's clearly a lie, so I have no idea what the real ​plan for Shawn was going to be.  Shawn's probably done a shoot interview somewhere where he clarifies.  

WrestleMania 23

So at WrestleMania 23, they say that the plan was to do a Tony Cena vs. Triple H rematch, but then HHH's quad injury necessitated them going to Plan B, which was Shawn Michaels. Do you or anyone remember what they were going to do with Shawn before putting him in the main event slot?

The logical thing seemed to be a three-way match with Cena v. D-X because they were teasing various things in that direction, but I never heard of a specific direction for Shawn otherwise.  I would imagine he would have ended up as HHH's cheerleader at ringside, were I to guess.  

Some belated Wrestlemania questions

Hi Scott, been meaning to ask these since mania and never got around to it:
Brock's bleeding – blade job or genuine? I assume a blade job as it was so perfectly timed, fit the story and looked great… But having watched it back a couple of times I can't see any opportunity to blade. Unless the ring post was gimmicked in some way but that seems ludicrously dangerous. Orton. I gather an element of the build to his match was that he used to be the Rollins of a decade ago. He seemed to play this up with a throw back outfit (elbow pads) and busting out his old crossbody finisher. Am I reading too much into this? And a really belated Wrestlemania 9 question. Why introduce JR, a new face, at the biggest show of the year when people won't know him yet? Was WCW a big enough deal that he was familiar to all? Or were the prior announce team just that bad? Ta Gareth WWE's official position is that the blood was hard way.  With no firm evidence to the contrary, that's what we've gotta go with.

And yes you're reading too much into Orton.
And yes JR was a big star.

Wrestlemania III Attendance, also Randy Orton

Hi Scott,

I e-mailed you a few weeks ago with an article claiming that the 93,000 for Wrestlemania 3 was actually a legitimate number and was just wondering what your take on it was. It was during the week before Wrestlemania, so I understand if you were too busy to answer (or if you didn't want to dignify an uproxx article with a response, which is also understandable).

I have a question regarding Randy Orton that's been bugging me for awhile, though. In every shoot interview that Bayless has posted where the wrestlers are asked about him, everyone has praised Orton to high heaven, either as a joy to see him wrestle or by those who have faced him as the perfect person to wrestle against. I know he's not shitting in *everybody's* bag, but why the universal praise? Is it because he's never hurt anyone in the ring?



​Zane Breslov, the actual promoter of the show, has gone on record saying that there were only 78,000 people in the building.  I have no idea why this 93,000 thing persists even though we know they've literally lied about the Wrestlemania attendance every year for the past two decades.  Is it because ​people think that one year was when they were telling the truth?  
As for Orton, wrestlers have different standards as far as what they like than fans do, obviously.  

Wrestlemania Star (32)

Hey Scott,

So I'm hearing rumors now that the WWE wants to run Rousey vs Steph and HHH vs Rock as 2 singles matches.

I'm intrigued by both of those matches, but when you add in video packages and entrances that's probably a full hour of mania time for those 2 matches.

We haven't even factored in Brock, Sting, or Taker into the situation and 1/4 of mania is already booked with part timers.

Should Bray start looking for a new career or should he keep Bolieving?

Hey man, wrestling is a business and they need to sell 100,000 tickets.  If that show does a $25 million gate, guys like Bray should get down on their hands and knees and kiss the Rock's feet for drawing that kind of money and basically supporting the midcard guys for the next six months in the process.  

WrestleMania Weekend 2015 – Day 4: WrestleMania 31

(Photos by myself and Danielle Stolman)
It’s still
not real to me, this whole thing. It’s weird to think that I actually
went to Axxess, attended the Hall of Fame ceremony, went to WrestleMania
and got to see a RAW show live the next day.
experience has left us exhausted but incredibly happy. I never thought
I’d ever get to see a wrestling show, let alone WrestleMania.
In any case, I’m late with the show recap, so this will be a report/recap with photos.

up WrestleMania Sunday doesn’t carry the same post-Saturday feeling one
would usually have. As all wrestling fans know, WWE pay-per-views
always fall on a Sunday, which sucks because you know that, tomorrow,
you have to go back to your 9 to 5, so that’s always in the back of your
mind, no matter what you do. For WrestleMania, it’s a bit different.
It’s like a holiday. It’s like the Super Bowl. It’s like Opening Day for
baseball. It’s you, sitting with your favorite food and drink and
watching something you really like so that you have a bit of a nice
feeling going into Monday.
That’s about the best way I can describe it.
had done Axxess and The Hall of Fame, two things that I looked forward
to and enjoyed. You’d think that I couldn’t be more excited for an
event…but when I woke up the morning of WrestleMania, my brain was
practically already getting our stadium bags ready before my body was
doing it.
first thing we did was park. Since I’m an employee of a certain
networking company near Levi’s, we were able to park in the lot where I
work each day…so, that was nice. The main issue is that it was about
85 degrees outside (the initial weather reports said it would be cool
and cloudy) and even the closest work lot is about a mile from Levi’s,
so we had a hike ahead of us.
we got there, it was an absolute party. People outside, listening to
music, eating food, buying merch, discussing the matches…really great.

this point, we were about 2 hours from the pre-show and about 4 hours
from the actual show. Our ticket package included a nice pre-game
tailgate, so we had to go there first for some food…the problem was
that we both mis-read the ticket and thought the party was in a lot next
to the stadium.
it turns out, our party was in “Green Lot 4”, which is located across
the street and about another mile north of the stadium. It took talking
with six different Levi’s Stadium attendants to find this out.
You’d think these guys would know their own stadium. Ugh…so we walked
with bags in our hands and found our way to Green Lot, which is located
at Mission College near the Mercado entertainment plaza.
It was worth it.
Our party was hosted by former WWE wrestler, Matt Striker and catered by The Bad Boyz of BBQ.

also had a DJ pumping music while we ate and drank, which was a plus.
The whole affair was laid back. Striker was incredibly nice, made the
rounds to make sure we were okay, and we had some laughs. I nearly
won a signed photo of Hulk Hogan but lost on a technicality because I
didn’t say “Pontiac” before “Silverdome” when I answered a WrestleMania
III venue question. I was kinda bummed about that.
I went back to our table to eat, Striker came over and laughed and
shook my hand and said, “Man, you almost had it.” Prior to that, I
couldn’t name all 9 inductees at the WWE Hall of Fame this year. I got 7
of them but forgot Alundra Blayze and Connor Michalek. I told Striker
that I thought I had it twice and that it was like “wrestling the
Undertaker because he just keeps kicking out.” Striker laughed and said,
“Yes, wrestling The Undertaker might actually be easier.”
In any case, we had a lot of fun.

was about 3 PM by the time we left. As we were trying to get to the
stadium on-time, we elected to take a nearby “Pedi-Cab” which got us
there in about a fraction of the time it would normally take by foot and
that was a good thing because we heard Cesaro’s music booming from
inside the stadium. We hurried to the front gates.
me tell you something: that new “NFL Clear Bag Rule” is an absolute
joke. The whole point of this new rule was to make lines more efficient
because gate attendants can see right through them and determine if a
bag check is necessary. 
It only makes the entire process slower.
I’m not kidding. When Danielle got there before me, they looked at the
bag, told her to remove her little WrestleMania rally towel, her water
bottle, her sunscreen, her jacket, her camera, her batteries and nearly
everything else. It took them 2 minutes to get through her, then another
2 because she kept setting off the metal detector despite the fact that
she had no metal on her. 
The same thing happened to me.
then our tickets wouldn’t scan. The Levi’s attendant looked at us like
we were up to no good and handed us off to their manager. The manager
said, “Usually, counterfeit tickets are the main issue and give us these
kind of scanner errors…” We were horrified and couldn’t tell if the
attendant said we were faking the tickets or if somebody else
did. In any case, it so happened that the Levi’s scanners were the
issue. They hadn’t been coded to accept “certain tickets”, as it was
later explained to us. 
of the bag check thing and the ticket issue, we missed both of the
pre-show matches and got into the stadium as Aloe Blacc sang America,
the Beautiful.
I might add that Levi’s comped us new seats…right next to the entrance ramp and only a few rows from the ring!
Oh…I forgot the recap portion…let’s get going on that!
Aloe Blacc sang a nice rendition of “America, the Beautiful”, followed by fireworks.
get a WrestleMania lead-in, narrated by LL Cool J which, for a change,
isn’t awful or pretentious and talks about how we all watch WrestleMania
together since we’re all connected via the Internet.
We are LIVE(!!!) from Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, California!!!
JBL, Michael Cole, and Jerry “The King” Lawler are your hosts…
(By the way…here were our seats…Danielle and I are circled and dotted:
We are off and running as ladders surround the ring…
#1: Daniel Bryan (challenger) vs. Bad News Barrett (champion) vs. Dolph
Ziggler (challenger) vs. Stardust (challenger) vs. Luke Harper
(challenger) vs. R-Truth (challenger) vs. Dean Ambrose (challenger) in a
Ladder Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
states that Truth has a “fear of heights”, alienating any fans Truth
may have had left. Immediate brawling to begin and Harper and Bryan end
up outside. Ambrose hits the Flying Psycho on Harper. Ziggler gets
tossed out as well. Barrett, too. Truth flies at everyone outside.
Stardust hits the Falling Star. Ziggler tries to dive at Harper, in
ring, but Harper tosses him at everyone. Harper dives at everyone as
well. Ambrose escapes the pile of bodies, climbs a ladder outside and
dives at everyone, too. So, now that’s done, Truth is the only one free
and in the ring. He sets up a ladder and climbs. Bryan gets in with
Barrett and clocks him with a ladder. Then he tosses a ladder at him in
the corner and adds Stardust to that pile. He dropkicks the hell out of
everything he piled up. Harper gets in, nails Bryan, then sets up a
ladder. Bryan pulls him down and hits YES Kicks. He climbs but Ziggler
pulls him off. 
and Ambrose fight over the climb. Barrett interferes but he gets
dumped. Truth and Stardust enter and Stardust knocks everyone off the
ladder. The fans chant for “Cody” and this pisses Star off. He goes
under the mat and pulls out his own ladder which is all friggin’
bedazzled. Barrett stops him and clocks him with a piece of broken
ladder or something. Ambrose attacks Barrett and gets back in the ring.
Ziggler and Harper stop him and Harper uses a ladder to beat up Ziggler.
He sets a ladder up on the turnbuckle. Ambrose comes into the ring only
to get tossed into it. Harper puts the ladder around his own neck and
uses it to nail every single guy that comes into the ring. Truth finally
stops him and hits his Truth finisher. 
comes into the ring and attacks him. Star enters as well and sets up a
ladder, climbing it. Barrett climbs the ladder and suplexes him from the
top of the ladder. Ziggler and Bryan enter the ring and climb. They
fight at the top. In comes Ambrose. He fights with both Bryan and
Ziggler. Ziggler kicks him off and Ambrose does an incredibly lame
“rebound” spot where he ends up pushing them off the ladder when the
ropes kick him back. He climbs the ladder but Harper grabs him and
a Sleeper on Harper — but Harper climbs the ladder with Ziggler on
him. Harper drops down and Ziggler is thrown off. Ziggler climbs but
Barrett nails Ziggler with a Bullhammer. Stardust comes in and gets the
same. Truth climbs the ladder but Barrett hits the Bullhammer as well.
He climbs the ladder and gets to the belt — but here comes Bryan,
climbing like a squirrel on speed and stops Barrett, knocking him off.
Bryan nears the belt but Ziggler pulls him off. Barrett pushes the
ladder away — but Bryan hits a Flying Knee out of nowhere. He sets up
the ladder and climbs! Ziggler gets in and he climbs! The two trade
shots back and forth on top of the ladder! They resort to headbutts and
trade those over and over. Finally, Bryan knocks Ziggler off the ladder
and pulls the belt off to win it!
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: Daniel Bryan at 13:49
RATING: ***. Not a bad start. COULD have been a bit longer with more danger spots, but what the hell, I’ll take it.
Post-match, Bryan celebrates.

The stadium popped BIG-TIME for Bryan here. Both before and after the match. Ziggler and Ambrose got similar pops. Great stuff.
We get an ad for TAPOUT gear, starring WWE superstars.
MATCH #2: Seth Rollins (w/ Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury) vs. Randy Orton
some quick initial running back and forth and Orton dropkicks the hell
out of Rollins, who leaves the ring. Orton chases him back in and
Rollins kicks and stomps at him. Orton comes back by tossing Rollins to
the mat and chopping at him in the corner. He punches at Rollins’ head
but Rollins counters with a Buckle Bomb. Orton counters that by running
out of the corner and hitting a clothesline. He goes for an RKO but
J&J involve themselves. Orton knocks them down, then walks outside
and hits the Elevated DDT on both guys. Rollins flies at Orton from
inside the ring, knocking him into the announce table. He pushes Orton
back in and gets a two count. Rollins hits a quick suplex and gets two,
then puts on a headlock. Orton escapes, but gets put in a corner.
Rollins hits a running forearm, then tries again but Orton tosses him
over the top rope. Rollins lands on his feet, then tries to Springboard
at Orton. He misses. Orton hits clotheslines and tries a powerslam,
hitting it on the second try. He tries the Elevated DDT, but Rollins
counters and hits and Enzuguri. Orton falls out of the ring. Rollins
hits a Springboard Moonsault on Orton, then tosses him back into the
ring. Rollins goes top rope but Orton knocks him off and goes for a
Superplex. Rollins blocks it, so Orton hits a big backdrop. Orton hits a
Flying Crossbody but Rollins reverses the pinfall, getting two. Rollins
runs at Orton but Orton grabs him and hits the Elevated DDT. He goes
for an RKO but Rollins counters. A series of counters later and Orton
hits an RKOOUTOFNOWHERE, but only gets two. Orton sets up for The Punt
but Noble runs in to save Rollins — then eats an RKO. Mercury gets one,
too, after he leaps off the ropes. Rollins kicks Orton and hits a Curb
Stomp and NEARLY gets a fall. Rollins goes to rope and tries a Flipping
Splash. Orton moves. Rollins lands on his feet, then kicks Orton in the
stomach to set up for another Curb Stomp. He does it, but Orton’s head
won’t hit the pavement…instead, Rollins flies high into the air AND
WINNER: Randy Orton via RKO at 13:15
****. Fantastic match between two of WWE’s most reliable performers and
a great ending. This match had Levi’s on the edge of their seats. It
was, at this point, where Danielle said to me, “See? Now he’s gonna cash
in later. They had him lose here so he’ll win during the main event.”

UFC’s Ronda Rousey is at ringside tonight. She was diagonally to our right.
We get the build-up for Sting and Triple H.
gets a weird Japanese Kabuki Samurai drum entrance whereas Triple H
gets Arnold Schwarzenegger narrating his entrance and, oh look: Triple H
is a Terminator who kills other Terminators. And the crowd pops for
Triple H. Oh boy. (At this point, I didn’t have a good feeling about this. Especially since Bryan and Orton had already won their matches…)
MATCH #3: Sting vs. Triple H
Cole: “And WrestleMania is brought to you by Terminator: Genesys!”
NO SHIT, COLE. Oh, and the match is “No-DQ” all of the sudden. Triple H
and Sting circle each other to start. Triple H gets shoulder tackled by
Sting, then he pounds his chest and yells “WOO!” at the crowd. HHH
comes back with a snap mare and side headlock, then hits a
shouldertackle and does the Crotch Chop. Sting immediately hits high
dropkicks and Triple H takes a seat in the corner, then bails from the
ring. Another lock-up and Triple H hits punches. He tries an Irish Whip
but Sting reverses and tosses Triple H out of the ring. Sting goes for
the Scorpion Deathlock but Triple H kicks out and goes outside. Sting
chases and tries a Stinger Splash but Triple H moves out of the way.
Back in the ring, Triple H hits a delayed vertical suplex, followed by a
knee drop for two. Triple H tosses Sting into the corner hard and Sting
goes down. Triple H does another Crotch Taunt and drops another knee
for two. Triple H puts on a head lock. Sting breaks but flies into a
Spinebuster for two. Sting comes back with some corner punches and
tosses Triple H into the corner. He goes for a splash but Triple H kicks
him. Triple H tries to go for a kick off the ropes but Sting catches
his legs and puts on the Scorpion Deathlock…
here comes Degeneration X in the form of Road Dogg, Billy Gunn and
X-Pac. Sting fights them all off, then turns to Triple H. Sting dumps
Triple H on top of all of them, then goes off the top rope and splashes
all four guys. Crowd chants, “THIS IS AWESOME”. Sting gets back up and
into the ring. Gunn attacks him and Sting knocks him off. Triple H hits
the Pedigree and NEARLY gets a pin. Frustrated, Triple H goes under the
ring to get the sledge…and the nWo shows up in the form of Hulk Hogan,
Kevin Nash, and Scott Hall and they take, like, eight days to get
there. D-X runs at them to attack but the nWo knocks them all down.
Sting grabs Triple H and hits the pin for…TWO?! Are you fucking
kidding me? Wow. (DANIELLE: This match should be over.) Sting
hits the Scorpion Deathlock but can’t even sit down on it. Triple H
crawls and reaches for the sledge…but Hogan grabs it and pulls it
away. X-Pac attacks Hogan. Nash attacks X-Pac. Gunn takes out Nash. Hall
goes for the Outsider Edge on Road Dogg but Dogg counters it and tosses
Hall to the ground. Meanwhile, Triple H gets to the ropes as the crowd
chants “TAP” over and over. Sting goes for the Deathlock again. Shawn
Michaels appears out of nowhere and hits Sweet Chin Music on Sting. Ugh.
Triple H covers…and gets two. Michaels is pissed. D-X hands Triple H
the sledge. He backs Sting into a corner…but Hall gets Sting’s
baseball bat and hands it to Sting. The two men brandish their weapons
and circle each other. Triple H attacks but Sting hits him in the
stomach, then uses the bat to chop the sledge handle in
half…just…wow. Sting drops the bat and punches Triple H in the
corner, then hits the Stinger Splash. He tries again — but, Triple H
picks up part of the sledge and nails Sting with it — and then pins
Sting to win it. Jesus fucking christ…
WINNER: Triple H at 18:34
RATING: ***1/2…if you’re going for spectacle, but the booking was absolute bullshit. Sting should
have gone over. I give it *3/4. I’m sorry. D-X and nWo? I’m not
impressed. I’ve seen the nWo AND D-X (the Outlaws) on RAW. And wasn’t
X-Pac part of the nWo back in January? Wasn’t Hogan predominantly red
and yellow for the better part of the last few years? And wasn’t the nWo
(black and white, not Wolfpac) enemies with Sting? This whole thing was
just a giant Triple H stroke-fest. And, if it’s no-DQ, why can’t the
nWo run in to save their “best buddy”, Sting, from getting pinned? Just
complete hot bullshit.
D-X pulls Triple H off of Triple H and the nWo helps Sting up. Triple H
approaches Sting…and offers his hand. They shake? Oh, PUH-LEEZE. Wow.
None of this makes any sense. 


Menounos is backstage with the new IC Champ, Daniel Bryan. He says it’s
incredible to be champ. Pat Patterson shows up and congratulates him.
Then Rowdy Roddy Piper. He looks menacing, then kisses Bryan on the head
and congratulates him. Steamboat shows up and actually says, “That
match ranks right up with the one Randy Savage and I had!” No,
Steamboat…it wasn’t. Steamboat says, if Savage were here, “he’d
say…WHOA YEAH!” No…no, Steamboat…he wouldn’t say “‘Whoa’, yeah.”
Then, Ric Flair shows up because, apparently, Daniel Bryan needs help
from a bunch of ancient superstars to get over. Flair shows up and does
the “WOOOO” thing. He chops Steamboat lightly, then yells “WOO” at
Maria. Oh, look. Bret Hart’s here, too, because WWE has to overbook everything
right now. Everyone starts yelling “YES”…and, of course, we get a
WrestleMania “DAMN” from Ron Simmons. Everyone continues yelling “YES”
and, mercifully, we walk away from whatever the hell that was.
Grey, Travis Barker and Kid Ink perform that one song we’ve been
hearing for two months during every single WrestleMania commercial. (And half our crowd section hit the bathrooms/concession stands.)
MATCH #4: Paige & AJ Lee vs. The Bella Twins (WWE Divas Champion Nikki Bella & Brie Bella)
and Paige start off with Paige immediately tackling Nikki and punching
her. Nikki reverses it and punches. Nikki headbutts AJ, then hits an
Alabama Slam on Paige, getting two. She slams Paige’s head against the
mat, then puts Paige in the corner, tagging Brie who hits a beautiful
missile dropkick for two. Brie pounds on the back of Paige’s head, then
puts her into a Chinlock/Surfboard combo. Brie goes for the running
knee. AJ gets up on the mat — so, naturally, Brie knocks her off the
ring mat again. She hits the knee on Paige and tags Nikki. They hit a
double suplex. Nikki tosses Paige into the ropes but Paige reverses —
and knocks AJ off the damn mat for the third time. Nikki hits the Rack
Attack, but only gets two. Nikki puts Nikki in the corner again — and
Paige elbows Brie off the mat on the way there. Paige elbows Nikki and
Nikki runs at Paige. Paige dumps Nikki out of the ring and then dives at
both women. Paige gets back into the ring and, FINALLY, AJ is up on the
mat. Paige makes the hot tag. AJ hits a press on Nikki and punches at
her, then hits a clothesline. Nikki puts AJ in the corner and lunges but
AJ kicks her and goes for a Tornado DDT. Nikki counters it. AJ gets
back on the top buckle and hits a Crossbody. Nikki catches her. Paige
dropkicks AJ on top of Nikki. Brie saves the pin and both Paige and Brie
roll out of the ring. AJ locks in the Black Widow but Brie kicks AJ.
Paige hits a nice high kick on Brie. AJ goes for a roundhouse but Brie
grabs AJ’s leg and Nikki just hits a vicious forearm. AJ kicks out of
the pin as Brie and Paige fight outside. Paige tosses Brie into the
steel steps and AJ hits the Black Widow on Nikki to get the win.
WINNERS: Paige and AJ at 6:36.
RATING: **3/4. Not terrible but fairly pedestrian — and what was with AJ taking a nap for over half the match?



We get an ad for WWE “heroes”.
get a “Tale of the Tape” for Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns. Cole
pretends Google and the Internet don’t exist and tells us that they got
this information when they “put stats into a computer” and says “the
computer gave us this”.
Cole gives us a look back on this year’s Hall of Famers.
Then we get introduced to them.

We get the build-up between Rusev and Cena…
enters with a full Russian colorguard and rides on top of a tank. Your
argument is invalid. Cena’s answer is a video package with a bunch of
shit America’s done. Each time a President pops up, they got either a
huge pop (Reagan, for some reason) or big time heat (Obama, for some
reason). Bush got nothing (for some reason).
MATCH #5: Rusev (champion) (w/ Lana) vs. John Cena (challenger) for the WWE United States Championship
cheer “U.S.A.”, but they boo Rusev. They boo the whole Russian gimmick,
but cheer for Rusev. I just don’t know anymore. Cena knocks Rusev down
with a clothesline. Rusev comes back with a high spinning kick and gets
two. Rusev hits a headbutt and an Arm Hook Suplex for two. Cena tries a
back drop but Rusev kicks him, then tosses him into a corner and
splashes him. He hits a nice Rolling Kick and gets two. Rusev picks up
the Russian flag and celebrates for absolutely no reason whatsoever as
Cena just lays there. Rusev does the “U CAN’T SEE ME” taunt to Cena so
Cena kicks him and hits Moves 1 through 3. He goes for the 5KS and hits
that. He goes for the AA but Rusev falls off Cena and lands on his feet,
then counters with a side suplex. Rusev goes for a high kick but Cena
ducks and goes for the STF. Rusev kicks out. Cena flies at Rusev who
catches him and hits a Spinebuster. Two count. He puts Cena on the
turnbuckle and goes for a Superplex. Cena blocks it and headbutts Rusev,
knocking him to the mat. Cena hits a Flying Legdrop and gets a close
goes for another AA but Rusev kicks out and hits the Flying Superkick.
Rusev misses the Accolade set-up, but manages to hit a low kick to
Cena’s head, getting two. He tosses Cena into the corner and misses a
kick. Cena hits a Tornado DDT. Cena gets to his feet and so does Rusev.
The two exchange blows with the crowd clearly behind Rusev. Rusev yells
“YOU CAN’T BEAT ME, JOHN CENA!” into Cena’s face, then hits an Alabama
Slam following a Tiger Knee to Cena’s head. Two count. He sets up for
the Accolade but Cena counters and locks in the STF. Lana takes off one
of her heels and throws it at Cena (The crowd laughed at this) so
the ref warns Lana to knock it off. Rusev breaks and hits a Fallaway
Slam. Rusev goes to the top rope and hits a Flying Headbutt! 
count and Rusev cannot believe that. Rusev sets up the Accolade…but
Cena struggles and counters it, kicking out. Cena runs to the ropes and
hits a Springboard Stunner! Holy shit. Two count. Cena gets up and goes
for an AA. Rusev breaks it and catches Cena. He tries a Spinebuster but
Cena counters and rolls Rusev up for two. Rusev gets up and slams Cena
to the mat and finally locks in the Accolade and Cole says, “Nobody’s
ever broke The Accolade!” You know, except for Cena and Swagger who both
broke it. Cena gets to his feet and backs Rusev into the corner, then
locks in the STF. Rusev gets to the ropes but Cena gets up and drags
Rusev to the center of the ring. Lana gets up on the mat so Cena walks
over to her. Rusev runs at Cena but Lana takes the bump and eats an AA.
Cena win the U.S. Title as Rusev fails America and her fans.
WINNER: John Cena via AA at 14:31
RATING: ***. Nice match but, honestly, I don’t know why Cena had to win here.


WrestleMania 32 is coming to AT&T Stadium in Dallas, Texas next year!
Young, Booker T, Corey Graves and Byron Saxton are at the talking desk.
We recap the Fatal Four-Way Tag Match where Cesaro and Tyson retained
the titles. They also recap that Big Show won the Battle Royal.
and Triple H are in the ring. She tells us that Levi’s has 76,000-plus
people. She tells us that, back in the day, WrestleMania was on
closed-circuit TV and she got to watch Andre slam Big John Studd. (DANIELLE: And she used Cole’s IBM tape computer to spit out stats.)
She says that the success of WrestleMania is all because of HER. Triple
H says the truth hurts. He brags about beating Sting (which draws
massive heat) and says that he pretty much beat everyone against him,
including the 76,000 people in Levi’s and the millions on WWE Network.
Then he says he owns Sting as well as all the talent backstage. So much
for that handshake, huh? He says The Authority always wins…
Rock’s music hits. This got the biggest pop of the night. He takes
forever to talk because the fans are not going quiet. Steph: “Okay! We
get it! You’re happy to see him! Can you be quiet now?” The Rock says
that The Authority doesn’t own the fans…or The Rock. He says The
Authority likes to run their mouths. But what they don’t get is that The
Rock is an East Bay Area Boy. So, The Rock says Triple H has two
choices: 1) Triple H goes backstage and dresses up as The Terminator
again…or 2) They can have a “WrestleMania Moment” right here, right
now. The Rock and Triple H go nose to nose.
H says that him and The Rock have a great rivalry that goes back years
— and Triple H kicked his ass for most of it. He says he has nothing
more to prove. The Rock says, just like he left his heart in San
Francisco, that Triple H left his balls in Stamford, Connecticut. Triple
H isn’t happy and takes off his coat. Steph steps between them and says
The Rock just likes to rile him and the fans up. He says that there
would be no Rock without the fans. She says that even his relatives
wouldn’t be anything without the McMahons. The Rock says that Steph
likes to talk about the Johnsons and McMahons…but that she wouldn’t be
here without Vince’s “johnson”. She slaps his face all the way into
next week and asks what he’s gonna do about that. She says that these
are her fans, her ring, and her stadium and orders him to leave.
leaves with Steph riding his ass on the mic as he does. The Rock stops
just outside the ring…then walks to his left…and visits with Ronda
Rousey. He invites her to jump the barrier and get into the ring with
him. She obliges. The Rock tells Steph that he’d never hit a woman…but
he has a good friend who’d be happy to. Steph shrugs it off and says
that her and Steph are friends. She begs Ronda to tell Rock that they’re
friends. Ronda doesn’t respond. Steph says that Ronda’s probably the
most dangerous unarmed woman on the planet. She says that Ronda doesn’t
realize that this is her ring and that she needs to enjoy WrestleMania
like a good little fan. Ronda says that Steph doesn’t get it: any ring she steps into is hers. She says if Steph wants her to leave, Steph should make
her leave. Steph growls for her to get out of the ring. Rock looks at
Rousey and tells Steph that the look on Rousey’s face means that she’s
about to reach down Steph’s throat, pull out her uterus and play jump
rope with her fallopian tubes. 
H says he’s tired of all this shit and wants Rock to stop talking. Rock
agrees to do so and says this is the last thing they’ll hear from him.
He attacks Triple H and beats on him in the corner. Triple H lunges at
Rousey but Rousey hits a hip toss and out of the ring goes Triple H.
Steph attacks her but Rousey locks Steph’s arm. Finally, she lets Steph
go and this comes to an end. Rock tells the McMahons that they’re

go to Undertaker and Bray Wyatt…Undertaker has his usual entrance,
but Bray’s entrance is a mix of theatrical and goofy. He has a “valley”
of scarecrows on the entrance ramp that he “brings to life” and they
follow him down the ramp. The electric signage around the stadium,
during The Undertaker’s entrance read, “NEVER SUMMON THE DEAD”, which I
thought was pretty sweet. The Undertaker also grew his hair back. It’s
still short but it’s not a mohawk anymore. The entire entrance is gold
for so many reasons. JBL, Cole and King wonder if The Undertaker is the
same guy we used to see — yet, he still looks that way. Bray just stares the entire time, in awe.
Bray says this is “his yard”, then runs at ‘Taker, who boots him right in the face.
MATCH #6: Bray Wyatt vs. The Undertaker
bell rings and ‘Taker is all over Bray in the corner. He beats on him,
knocks him to the mat, then does Old School. ‘Taker goes off the ropes
but Bray knocks him down with a clothesline. Bray clotheslines him out
of the ring — but The Undertaker lands on his feet and glares at Bray.
Crowd loves it. Bray grabs him by the legs and drags him outside. He
sets Bray up on the mat and drops the leg across Bray’s throat. Bray
rolls into the ring and ‘Taker clotheslines him, then hits Snake Eyes.
‘Taker goes for a big boot but Bray knocks ‘Taker down with a drive-by
lariat. Wyatt beats on ‘Taker in the corner and then puts him into the
adjacent corner. Bray hits a running corner clothesline and can’t get
two. He puts a clutch on ‘Taker but ‘Taker fights out. Bray drops
punches on ‘Taker. Bray stares at him as he struggles to get up. He
crawls to Bray. Bray leaves the ring, then smashes ‘Taker’s head into
the ringpost. Wyatt gets into the ring and boots ‘Taker in the face. He
goes to pick up ‘Taker but ‘Taker locks in Hell’s Gate. Wyatt quickly
realizes he’s in trouble and punches ‘Taker in the head until he lets
go. ‘Taker gets to his feet and lunges at Bray only to find himself in a
Spinebuster, followed by the Reverse Senton. Bray does the Hanging
Spider, then goes for Sister Abigail. Bray does the “thumb across the
throat”, but ‘Taker grabs him by the throat and hits the Chokeslam.
‘Taker calls for The Tombstone and hits it…but only gets two as the
announce team pretends like nobody’s ever kicked out of it. ‘Taker calls
for another Tombstone but Bray counters and hits Sister Abigail! Bray
covers — and gets two. Bray gets up, doing the Spider Walk, walking
over to ‘Taker, who is still on his back. When he gets close, The
Undertaker sits up and glares at Bray in one of the coolest
moments of the night. Bray just melts out of the Spider Walk. The both
get up and start trading shots. Bray gets the best of it and knocks
‘Taker all the way down. Bray goes for Sister Abigail again — but
‘Taker breaks it and shoves Bray. Bray runs at ‘Taker and ‘Taker picks
him and Tombstones the hell out of him for the win.
WINNER: The Undertaker via Tombstone at 15:13
RATING: **3/4. This had some great moments…I really don’t know, however, how long ‘Taker can continue to do this.
Post-match, ‘Taker does the “tribute” spot with the purple lighting and fireworks.

We get the build-up to Reigns/Lesnar…
MATCH #7: Roman Reigns (challenger) vs. Brock Lesnar (champion) (w/ Paul Heyman) for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
bell rings and it’s a goddamn brawl to start. Both men all over each
other. Lesnar hits a German Suplex and an F5…but doesn’t cover Reigns.
Lesnar is cut open. He walks over to Reigns and his some shots to the
gut with his knee. Lesnar hits a Fallway Fisherman’s Suplex. Lesnar goes
for another German. Reigns fights back and tries clotheslines but can’t
knock Reigns down. Lesnar counters with German #2. Reigns gets to his
knees…and smiles. Lesnar hits a Side Suplex, then yells, “SUPLEX CITY,
BITCH!” Reigns comes back with punches but Lesnar hits German #3.
Reigns gets up, grinning. Lesnar kicks him in the ribs, then hits German
#4. Reigns tries to get up but Lesnar just knees him in the stomach.
Brock drops Roman on the top rope and knees Reigns in the face
repeatedly. Lesnar hits a running forearm on a run and knocks Reigns out
of the ring. 
beckons Reigns to get back in the ring and Reigns does. Lesnar runs at
him and Reigns knees Lesnar in the face. He hits kicks to the face. But
Lesnar just grabs his leg after a few of them and clotheslines Reigns
from the ring. Lesnar goes outside and beats on Reigns. He rolls Reigns
back in and then hits a suplex throw. Reigns is tossed from the ring and
crawls back in again. Lesnar hits a belly to belly suplex, the 8th one
overall. Lesnar hits F5 #2. Reigns kicks out. Lesnar smacks the shit out
of Reigns but Reigns doesn’t care. He just laughs. Lesnar hits German
#4 and #5. He hits F5 #3…but only gets two again. Lesnar tosses Reigns
out of the ring. He goes outside and picks up Reigns and tries to toss
Reigns into the ringpost but Reigns reverses the attempt and Lesnar eats
the post instead.
is bleeding as Reigns gets back into the ring. Reigns looks determined
and gets to his feet. He hits a Superman Punch but Lesnar hangs onto the
ropes. Reigns hits another and Lesnar is rocking on the ropes. Reigns
goes for another. Lesnar catches him for a German but Reigns elbows out.
Reigns hits Superman Punch #3 and knocks him down. He hits a Spear!
Lesnar gets up and rocks towards the ropes. Reigns hits another and
NEARLY gets the fall. Reigns goes for another — but Lesnar catches him
and hits F5 #4! Lesnar can’t cover…both men are down. Seth Rollins’
music hits. (DANIELLE: Told ya’!) He cashes in the MITB contract. This is now a Triple Threat Match. O…K.
#7: Roman Reigns (challenger) vs. Brock Lesnar (champion) (w/ Paul
Heyman) vs. Seth Rollins (challenger) in a Triple Threat Match for the
WWE World Heavyweight Championship
boots Reigns from the ring and hits a quick Curb Stomp on Lesnar. He
checks on Reigns to make sure he can’t interfere…and goes for another
Curb Stomp…but Lesnar catches him for an F5! But here comes Reigns who
Spears Lesnar! Reigns tries to get up but Rollins hits a Curb Stomp and
wins the title.
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: Seth Rollins via Curb Stomp at 16:44
***1/2. Not a bad finish to the thing. I’d hesitate to call it
“ingenious” since they all but telegraphed the cash-in. Nobody liked
Reigns and nobody wanted to see Lesnar go home with the title. The only
reason WrestleMania ended on a “high note” was because Rollins was the
lesser of three evils. Yay?

Rollins celebrates as Levi’s Stadium shoots its fireworks load and we go off the air.

***1/2. Better than I expected but nowhere near as good as last year’s
‘Mania. I don’t understand the high praise this show is getting. For the
live experience? Add another two stars. There’s nothing like being

Er…that’s it.