Earthquake’s Dream Matches (Boss Man! Paul Roma! Booger!)

mengs-mullet: “Earthquake's tryout match Earthquake Evans w/ Slick vs Paul  Roma September 20th, 1989 ” | Mens tops, Men casual, Paul roma

Tenta as Yukon lumberjack “Earthquake Evans” in a 1989 tryout match, with Slick as his manager!

I’ve long felt that John “Earthquake” Tenta is a tragically underrated “Big Man” worker, but, much like Haku, he’s had a bit of a renaissance as former Workrate Snobs like me have learned to appreciate what a hard-working big guy can bring to the table. I was gonna make a more varied list for a column, but I had enough for a full one of JUST Tenta, so here’s a random selection of fun or weird Earthquake matches! Watch him take on such luminaries as Paul Roma (back when he was trying out in a Lumberjack gimmick!), The Big Boss Man (with one hell of a power feat), Tugboat & Bastian Booger!

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Yokozuna & Crush vs. Mabel & Typhoon (and other Dream Matches)

1995 WWF Wrestling Trading Cards (Merlin) Mabel (No.26) | Pro Wrestling | Fandom

YES I’M AN UNAPOLOGETIC MABEL MARK SHUT UP!

It’s time for more of wrestling’s strange oddities, ironic “Dream Matches”, or just stuff I didn’t otherwise know existed. First off, a quartet of 1994 WWF’s least-respected workers in a great FAT MAN STAND-OFF tag match, then a bizarre 6-man from the 1970s era of the company- Gorilla Monsoon & Haystacks Calhoun on the same team! Plus our weekly dose of Hercules, and then two roided-up tag teams from 1996 WCW- did you know that you needed High Voltage vs. The American Males in your life? Because you need High Voltage vs. the American Males in your life.

As always, WWE-owned videos are non-kosher on the Blog, but this is all easily found on YouTube.

YOKOZUNA & CRUSH (w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. MABEL & TYPHOON (w/ Oscar):
(WWF TV, 02.07.1994)
* HELL YES it’s my all time favorite kind of match- the FAT MAN STAND-OFF!! My two favorite things in wrestling are high-speed joshi, and Big Fat Guy wrestlers slamming into each other. As a kid, I was unironically a huge fan of both Mabel & Typhoon, so I was delighted when they randomly started teaming up, and because it’s the WWF, they put their 6’10” 550 lb. guy up against the only person fatter, in Yoko. Crush was in his heel persona here, and is quite possibly my least favorite wrestler to watch, ever.

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Typhoon & Shinja vs. Genichiro Tenry & Ultimo Dragon AND Koji Kitao & El Gigante (and other Dream Matches)

And we’re back with more of wrestling’s weirdest side-matches. This time some stuff Maffew showed me- possibly the greatest disparate bunch of dudes ever, all from a one-night tag tournament in Tenryu’s WAR promotion in Japan! Even better, there’s Buddy Rogers vs. Haystacks Calhoun from 1961, and Antonio Inoki versus the famous “Fat Motorcycle Twins”.

KOJI KITAO & EL GIGANTE vs. TYPHOON & THE GREAT SHINJA:
(One-Night Tag Tournament, Wrestle Association R, Japan, 12.08.1995)
* Maffew got this one for me, so you can blame him, lol. Gigante you know as the most hopeless wrestler ever; Kitao is infamous for the 1991 match where he & Earthquake shot on each other, and was a failed yokozuna-level sumo (promoted just to “have a native Sumo at the top level”), retiring in disgrace after never having won a tournament and feuding with his stable bosses (sumo is dirty as FUCK, though). Typhoon is from the WWF, and… Earthquake’s partner, so that’ll be interesting. The Great Shinja is Akio Sato of the Orient Express (in the shittier original version), and was also Hakushi’s manager Shinja in the WWF. Gigante’s in red shorts, Kitao’s in a white gi, Typhoon’s in his WWF gear (and pretty much exactly the same size as Kitao), and Shinja’s in a white shirt & pants that just make him look like someone’s dad who just wandered into the ring.

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Rock Star Gary reflects on WWF Monday Night RAW 5-10-1993

Live from New York, NY

Airdate: May 10, 1993

Attendance: 1,200 (sold out)

Hosted by Vince McMahon, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan

Duggan gets another shot at the IC title, but this time it’s Paul Bunyan-style. In addition, Typhoon and Bigelow battle for a spot in the KOTR tournament. Wayne, how do you feel about leading us into the show?

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Rock Star Gary reflects on WWF Monday Night RAW 02-01-93

Live from New York, NY

Airdate: February 1, 1993

Attendance: 900

Hosted by Vince McMahon, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, & Rob Bartlett

Can Typhoon defeat Doink the Clown? Who will make a surprise appearance this week? What will stem from it?  Let’s find out!

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