“After twenty years, ECW is over.”
The penultimate episode, time to put on the blindfold and light the cigarette.
Just a few stops to go before we park the ECW On Syfy bus in the depot so let’s pop into Memphis, TN for the hell of it.
We’re in Cincinnati, Ohio (Japanese crowd: “Ohio!”) and we’re five days away from Royal Rumble 2010 and the last ECW title on a WWE PPV.
I needed a week off due to all the horrible shite going on in wrestling but don’t worry, I’m sure the death rattle of ECW on Sci-Fi will cheer me up. Tonight, it’s finally The Homecoming Finale and we get a dramatic video package to pretend this hasn’t been boring crowds senseless these past few weeks.
It’s the first episode of 2010 and let’s ignore that giant moon heading ever closer to the brand and focus on CM Punk vs. Mark Henry instead.
We’re in IZOD Centre in New Jersey and in the spirit of ECW ’98, the champion is here to guest commentate until his contract gets sorted out. Christian is thrilled to sit next to Josh Mathews and Bryant Gumbel (I don’t understand that reference but it’s the only thing of interest he says all night.)
We’re in Orlando, Florida to continue the road to ECW Homecoming (while the brand continues down the road to the knacker’s yard).
We’re in Laredo, Texas and Alleged GM Tiffany has invited former champ Kane to show up, as if WWE would consider bringing an old star to the C-Brand to boost ratings in 2020.
We’re in Houston, Texas and Josh Mathews is starting the show so you’d better bring some rope to tie yourself to your chair in case you fall off with excitement.
We’re getting near TLC and nearer to death so why not have new talent debut?