TNA Slammiversary X (6.10.12)

JUNE 10, 2012

–  Well, the day has arrived.  Dixie is tweeting Christian photos and bragging about the biggest TNA crowd in history.  Could gain some huge momentum tonight.  Here we go!
–  Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz.

–  We begin with a look back at the major moments in the past 10 years of Total Nonstop Action.  It is labeled as a landmark event.  And now Direct Auto Insurance presents…TNA Slammiversary.  All red ropes, no pyro.  Crowd actually looks pretty decent.

–  Nothing says kicking off TNA’s biggest show like, Hulk Hogan making his way to the ring.  He says we are kicking off old-school with….
1.  Samoa Joe vs.  Austin Aries
–  Bell rings and this crowd is red hot.  Joe works the arm and Aries kicks it away.  Aries with a headlock and shoulderblocked down.  The trade kicks and Joe drops him with a STIFF kick!  He shoots Aries off and Aries comes back with a huricarana.  Joe to the floor and Aries hits the ropes.  He dives into a STIFF kick to the face from Joe.  Back in and Joe wipes his boots off with Aries being the place mat.  Running kick to the face in the corner.  Cover gets 1.  Joe goes for the running senton and Aries gets the knees up.  Aries trues to send him off the ropes and Joe sends him to the outside.  Joe goes to dive, Aries runs back in.  Aries dives and connects low post on the floor.  Back inside, Aries charges and Joe counters for a 2.  Aries for a Brain Buster, blocked, Joe with a lifting powerbomb.  Cover get 2, Joe picks him up, Boston Crab.  He turns it, CROSSFACE!  He rolls up Aries for 1.  Joe tries to set up a Muscle Buster, but Aries won’t have it.  Joe takes him up for the superplex, but Aries counters with an ear ringer.  450 SPLASH BY ARIES!  Cover gets 2.8!!!!!!!  Holy shit!  Aries goes for the discus elbow, Joe blocks and locks in the Kokina Clutch.  Aries rolls on top for 2.5.  Joe misses a corner charge and Aries runs into the one-armed Uranage.  Joe sets him up on top.  Hard chop to Aries.  Muscle Buster, Aries counters, CRUCIFIX DRIVER!  Kick to the face dazes Joe and he is slumped in the corner.  Charging delayed dropkick on Joe.  BRAIN BUSTER ON JOE’S HEAD!  Cover gets 3 and Austin Aries wins it @ 11:46.  (THIS is TNA.  Unbelievable opener.  I was up off my seat at least 4 time here.  This is what they need to build on.  Dammit Joe still can go.  Aries is no slouch, either.  A.)
2.  Kid Kash vs.  Hernandez
–  Have no idea what this match is for.  I read the were gonna have this match and thought it was a rib.  Kash starts with quick forearms and kicks Hernandez to the chest.  Hernandez hits the ropes and shoulderblocks him down.  Kash grabs Hernandez’s arm and wrings it on the ropes.  Huricarana by Kash and Hernandez is on the apron.  Slingshot shoulderblock back in.  Jumping corner splash by Hernandez.  Hernandez clears the top rope and land on Kash!  Top rope splash ends it @ 5:50 and you winner is Hernandez.  (This reminds me of a mid card match on a WCW pay per view to get a wrestler over.  I call it a glorified squash.  D+.)
–  More great moments in TNA history.
3.  Robbie E and ROBBIE T vs.  Garret Bischoff and Devon
–  Robbie and Garret begin things with Robbie and Garret trading blows.  Crowd is shitting on Garret.  ROBBIE comes in and goozles Garret.  Garret kicks him and hits the ropes.  Robbie grabs Garret and pulls him outside.  He beats him down and throws him back in.  Robbie tags in and elbows Garret down for 2.  Sidewalk slam by ROBBIE and flying knee drop by Robbie gets 2.  Robbie hits the ropes and gets caught with a faceplant.  Devon tagged in and he drops Robbie.  Diving shoulderblock.  He takes out ROBBIE on the apron.  Thesz press and hammers away on Robbie.  Uranage on Robbie.  Shoulderblock takes out Robbie for a 2.  ROBBIE charges and Garret pulls down the top rope.  Another Uranage on Robbie and Devon and Garret get the win @ 5:54.  (Nothing special here to write home about.  Robbies should have won it.  D-.)
–  Backstage, Jeremy Borash is standing by with Daniels and Kazarian.  They are drinking apple-tinis and celebrating being fucking awesome.
4.  Mr. Anderson vs.  Rob Van Dam vs.  Jeff Hardy
–  Hardy is taking out everyone in the ring.  Now Anderson is up and gets thrown into RVD.  Anderson on the ground and POETRY IN MOTION!  Cover on RVD gets 2.  RVD tries a monkey flip and gets shoved onto his head for .  Hardy on the top and we were setting up for a Superplex/poerbomb.  Hardy crotches himself.  So we get a top rope superplex; followed by a Five Star Frog splash.  All 3 men battling on their knees.  RVD with a enziguiri to the face and rolls up with his feet for 2.  Spinning kick on Anderson from the corner.  Split legged Moonsault by RVD gets 2.  German Suplex on RVD by Anderson.  Hardy wants some and drop his legs across for the cover too.  RVD kicks out of everything!  RVD and Anderson battle on the floor.  Hardy flies on top of both men.  Hardy and RVD battle in the ring and Hardy hits Whisper in the Wind.  RVD tries a suplex and Hardy reverses for Twist of Fate.  Hardy nails the Swanton.  Cover gets 2 before Anderson pulls the referee out.  Anderson runs in and now battles with RVD.  RVD goes for the Rolling Thunder, Anderson pops up and nails the Mic Check for the win @ 11:21.  (You could tell this match was gonna be half-assed by all men in the ring.  Crowd got the guys to up their game.  I liked that.  C+.)
–  Backstage, JB is with Crimson.  He is confident that the streak remains in tact tonight.  Time to find out who his next opponent is.
–  Crimson makes his way out and grabs the mic.  He has been undefeated for 470 days.  He goes for cheap heat by shitting on the Texas crowd.  
5.  Crimson vs.  James Storm
–  Storm heads in and just blasts Crimson out the ring to the floor.  He suplexes him back in.  He backs him up to the corner and chops him in the corner.  Crimson kicks him low and starts choking him with his own jacket.  He throws him to the corner and Storm comes out with a big clothesline.  Codebreaker drops Crimson.  Last Call Superkick and James Storm ends the streak @ 2:09.  (Wow, build him up for a year and a half and then have him squashed in less than 3 minutes?  Not really smart booking here.  Crowd loved Storm though.  D+.)
–  Backstage, JB is standing my with Austin Aries.  What is next for the X Division Champion?  He says that he has accomplished everything set out for him.  Next, he wants to be the man in the main event.
–  Slammiversary moment #2, Hulk Hogan signs with TNA.
–  Dixie Carter comes out to her horrible music.  She says she is happy to be in front of the largest crowd in TNA history.  Dixie wants to thank the roster and they walk out on the stage.  The first inductee into the TNA Hall of Fame:  STING!  Dixie brings him in the ring and thanks him for everything he has done in TNA.  He will formally be inducted at Bound For Glory.  He thanks everyone and promises tonight will be showtime.
6.  Miss Tessmacher vs.  Gail Kim
–  Tessmacher starts off with quick offense.  Gail slows it down by working the arm.  Tessmacher is up and rocks her with a neckbreaker.  They trade forearm shots and Tessmacher drops her with clotheslines.  Tessmacher misses and hits the mat.  Neck-tie neckbreaker on Tessmacher.  (Thanks Mike Tenay.)  Gail sends her off the apron into the guardrail.  She rolls Tessmacher back in.  Tessmacher blocks Eat De Feet.  Victory roll on Gail and we have a new TNA Knockout Champion @ 6:57.  (Very slow and plodding.  Really predictable, but Tessmacher is not terrible in the ring.  D+.)
–  Tessmacher has a quick victory speech, post-match.  She blesses Texas.
–  Onto more important business.  JB is standing by with Bully Ray.  He says has Joseph Park right where he wants him.  He again doesn’t want to be held responsible for what is about to happen.  We get a pre-match video hyping up the following match.
7.  Bully Ray vs.  Joseph Park
–  Split “Let’s go Rangers/Yankees suck” chant breaks out before this one gets going.  Ray tells him to take a shot and Ray side steps him.  Ray slaps him around and spits in his face.  Park smacks Ray and Ray drops him immediately.  Ray goes to the outside for a chair.  Park kicks the ropes and Ray gets racked.  Park has the chair and Park turns his back.  Ray drops him again.  Ray brings the chair down across his back twice.   He blasts him in the face with a water bottle.  He tees off on his head on the floor and rolls him back in.  Ray heads up to the middle rope and misses the senton.  Park with a series of rights and lefts.  Ray runs into him and gets knocked back down.  Jumping big boot by Ray.  Now its time for tables.  Park scoots under the ring.  ABYSS comes out from under the ring!  Goozle on Ray and CHOKESLAM THROUGH THE TABLE!  Park rolls back in and covers for the win @ 10:23.  (I mean, we knew it was coming.  Not a strong point for the show, but the crowd was HOT for the match.  D.)
–  JB is standing by with TNA Champion, Bobby Roode,  He says HE is what TNA is all about.  Without him, there would be no TNA.
–  Hulk Hogan is out and brings out WWE Intercontinental Champion, Christian Cage!  Crowd welcomes him back.  Crowd chants YES YES YES.  Cage says there are 2 less corners in the ring since the last time he was there.  But one thing that hasn’t changed was the fans.  He introduces the number one moment in TNA history, Sting winning the NWA Title at Slammiversary.  More stoked they showed Monty Brown.  I’m kidding.  And that, my friends, was the trade of for Ric Flair.  We hype the TNA Tag Team Title Match.
8.  Kazarian and Daniels vs.  Kurt Angle and AJ Styles
–  AJ and Kaz begin it and AJ plants a beautiful dropkick on Kaz and Daniels.  Kaz tries to throw AJ into the guardrail and AJ SLIDES UNDERNEATH.  Springboard forearm off the guardrail.  Daniels clotheslined down.  AJ rolls Kaz back in and drops a high knee for 1.  Angle tagged in.  Double suplex gets 2.  Daniels comes in and kicks Angle down.  Angle backdrops Daniels and AJ comes back in.  Backbreaker on Daniels.  AJ gets hung up on the top rope missing a corner kick.  Daniels elbows him, grabs his hands, and drives a boot down to his chest.  Offensive move missed and HOT TAG to Kurt Angle.  He German suplexes Kaz and Daniels!  Ankle Lock on Daniels and Kaz kicks Angle straight in the face!  Angel’s Wings, countered, backdrop.  AJ springboards in and forearms Kaz.  Springboard inverted DDT on Kaz and regular DDT on Daniels!  AJ misses a charge, Kaz kicks AJ, and Daniels rolls the dice on AJ.  T-Bone suplex on Daniels.  Reverse facebuster on Kaz!  Cover gets 2.8!  AJ sets Kaz on the top rope.  Kaz battles a superplex and shoves him down.  ANGLE SPRINGS UP TOP WITH A BELLY TO BELLY!  STO on Angle!  AJ and Daniels trade blows in the middle of the ring now.  Roaring elbow misses, and Uranage on AJ.  BME misses and Angle plants Daniels on his head with a German suplex!  PELE kick on Kaz and top rope splash by Angle! Cover gets 2 and Daniel pulls the referee out.  AJ with a TOP ROPE SPRINGBOARD SHOOTING STAR PRESS ON DANIELS TO THE OUTSIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!  Kaz goes for Fade to Black on Angle, countered, grapevine Ankle Lock on Kaz!  Kaz taps out @ 14:20 and we have NEW TNA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!!  (Holy fuck of all fucking things!  I was so amped for this match and wish it could have ended the show.  No disappointment here at all.  Doesn’t get any better than that tonight!  A+.)
–  We hype the main event and felate the Stinger some more.  Nice video though.
9.  Sting vs.  Bobby Roode
–  Brian Hebner refereeing this match = REF BUMP REF BUMP REF BUMP!  Roode sporting his old robe tonight.  Really looking like a champion.  Roode stalling and won’t let Sting get his hands on him.  Sting chases him in the ring and Roode stomps him down.  Sting with a single leg takedown and goes for the Scorpion Deathlock.  Roode scoots out quick and Sting throws him into the guardrail.  Back in the ring, Sting peppers Roode to the corner.  He hiptosses him across the ring and goes for the Scorpion Deathlock again.  Roode tries to bail to the back and Sting grabs him.  Sting tries to pull him up on the apron and Roode brings him down on the top rope.  Roode with a big boot for 2.  Sleeperhold by Roode on Sting.  Sting reverses it and Roode back suplexes him down.  Roode heads up and Sting crotches him on the top rope.  Superplex by the Stinger.  Scorpion Deathlock applied on Roode in the middle of the ring.  Roode reaches out and finally makes the ropes.  Roode tries to head to the back again.  Sting won’t have it and bounces him off the guardrails until he throws him back in the ring.  Roode rolls out the opposite side and STINGER SPLASH AGAINST THE GUARDRAIL!  Now they climb on top of the broadcast table.  Scorpion Deathlock on the table!  Roode is tapping like crazy.  Roode grabs James Storm’s beers from the floor.  He swings on Sting but the referee takes it away.  Roode grabs another and breaks it over the head of Sting.  He covers and wins it @ 10:52.  (Well, there was your main event.  Really can’t say much about it.  The slow build made this thing look like it was building to something better.  Than that finish!?  C-.)
–  Sting pops up and his head is split open.  He nails Hebner (REF BUMP!) and attacks Roode.  He suplexes him on the entrance ramp.  He nails him with a Scorpion Death Drop off the stage through a table on the floor!  And that folks, is how it ends.
–  I gotta say this was a great show.  Sure we had some dull spots, but the crowd, Aries-Joe, and the tag match made this thing incredible.  I hope TNA can continue this type of momentum and return to the days of old.  The only gripe is the ending.   I mean, they want us to think Sting is going over.  Yet, they made him look horrible with a 10 minute match and weak ending.  Still, it keeps them rolling with the heel champion able to escape with the belt just barely.  So I can see where they went with things.  See you Thursday for another LIVE impact.

Michael’s Impact Review

JUNE 7, 2012

–  Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz.

–  At the end of last week’s show, Dixie threatens all of production for airing her call with AJ.  Now live in the ring, Dixie whips up some tears and doesn’t understand why Daniels would air that.  She wants to tell the truth tonight and this brings out Daniels and Kazarian.  Daniels starts in with his line of questioning and Dixie starts swinging at him.  Daniels corners her and she cowers in the corner.  AJ comes out to make the save and the heels leave the ring.  Dixie’s husband comes to the ring and stares down AJ.  He swings on AJ and COMPETE OVER-SELL by AJ!  Dixie cries some more and we’ll be right back.
–  We see replays over the entire first segment and find out that Dixie and AJ have left the building.
1.  Crimson vs.  Austin Aries
–  Backstage, Aries tells Samoa Joe that what happened last week was a mis-understanding.  Now in the ring, Aries can’t take down Crimson.  Crimson works over Aries in the corner.  Aries floats over a slam and works Crimson over with kicks.  Discus forearm by Aries drops Crimson.  Slingshot by Aries gets 2.  He tries it again and Crimson gets the knees up.  Aries counters the Red Sky with a huricarana.  Brain Buster is blocked and Aries dives on Crimson on the floor.  Back inside, Aries goes up top and Samoa Joe knocks him to the floor.  He rolls Aries in and Crimson makes the cover for the win @ 3:25.  (Not a bad match.  Furthers Aries/Joe and Crimson stays undefeated.  C-.)
–  Crimson brags that no one can beat him.  468 days and counting, and much better than that Goldberg guy.  Nice.  He issues an open challenge for Sunday.
–  Backstage, Hulk Hogan babbles on and on about every storyline in a matter of 30 seconds.
–  Back on Impact, Brooke Hogan thanks all the Knockouts backstage..AGAIN.  She books a number one contenders match in the form of a 4 way tonight.  She also gives Velvet Sky a spot in a country music video.  How hay-seed.  
–  In the Impact Zone, Hulk Hogan makes his way to the ring.  Next week, the TNA Title will be defended the night after Slammiversary.  This brings out Bobby Roode.  He feels disrespected by Hogan.  He thinks Hogan is jealous of him.  He tells Hogan to get out of his ring and out comes Sting.  Roode attacks Sting and Sting no-sells it.  Sting beats on him until Roode bails to the back.  Knockouts 4 Way is next.
–  Backstage, Joseph Park says he will get truth and justice on Sunday.
2.  Mickie James vs.  Velvet Sky vs.  Miss Tessmacher vs.  Tara
–  All 4 in the ring at the same time, first pinfall wins it.  Velvet and Mickie clear the ring and Mickie rolls up Velvet for 2.  We’ll be right back!  Back on Impact,  Tarantula is on Velvet.  Tessmacher runs in to roll up Mickie for 2.  Mickie kicks her down with an enziguiri.  Jawbreaker by Tessmacher and Velvet runs back in.  Tara rolls her up for 2.  Gail Kim is out on commentary now.  Tara with a Boston Crab on Velvet and Mickie headlocks Tara.  Velvet kicks Tara out the ring.  Head scissors takeover on Mickie.  Tara throws her to the floor.  Tara heads up top and misses a moonsault.  Mickie superkicks Velvet down.  Tessmacher with a faceplant on Mickie and wins it @ 10:33.  (Great Knockouts match, kind of surprised by the ending. C+.)
–  Backstage, Bully Ray says he is throwing out the old contract.  We will have a new contract signing later and you will want to see what he has in store.  
–  We see Hulk Hogan on the phone with AJ and he tells him he doesn’t care about his personal problem and he is booked in a 6 man tag for the main event.  He punctuates it with a “son of a bitch”.
–  In the ring, Jeremy Borash oversees the contract signing between Bully Ray and Joseph Park.  Ray comes out first sporting his new Jack Daniels style shirt.  Ray takes to the podium and asks if everyone knows who he is.  Joseph Park comes out next and I’m surprised he doesn’t already have an entrance video and music.  Ray rips up the original contract and throws it at Park.  He says that was a standard wrestling contract for a standard wrestling match.  He has a new contract that releases him of all liability.  If he hurts Park, he isn’t held responsible.  Park refuses to sign it.  Ray extends his hand and spits in his face.  Park agrees to fight for his brother, Chris.  He signs the contract and an explosion goes off.  Abyss is on the big screen.  He says he warned him to stay away.  He promises to be at Slammiversary.  Ray attacks Park in the ring and leaves.  
–  Earlier today, Garret Bischoff offers to have Devon’s back in match tonight against Robbie E.  They will be partners Sunday against Robbie E and ROBBIE T.
–  We take a look back at the fallout from last week’s Gut Check.  Taz says he stands behind his decision.  He tells Joey Ryan to get better and prove him wrong.  We see Joey Ryan’s comments backstage from last week.  He calls Taz a joke and Al Snow confronts him.  He escorts him out of the building.
3.  Robbie E (with ROBBIE T) vs.  Devon (with Garret Bischoff)
–  Robbie attacks Devon before the bell.  Madison Rayne comes out applying lip gloss.  WORLDS COLLIDING!  Robbie drops Devon with a running elbow for 2.  Devon spears Robbie coming off the ropes.  Diving shoulderblock by Devon and then a Standing Uranage.  ROBBIE T trips up Devon.  Referee is arguing with Garret on the outside and ROBBIE rolls Robbie on top of a small package.  Referee catches him and Garret turns it back over.  Devon wins it @ 2:52.   (Not even worth the time of viewing, especially that Little E is now involved in this mess.  They should push Robbie better or give him the title back.  D-.)
–  Post-match, Devon and Garret clear the ring of the Robbies.  AND THAT IS YOUR DIRECT IMPACT OF THE NIGHT!
–  We go back to earlier tonight when Roode interrupted Hogan.  Now live in the ring, it’s more Hulk Hogan.  Hogan was about to make a MAJOR announcement before he was interrupted.  Before he can say anything further, out comes Mr. Anderson.  Answer me this:  how can Anderson have fans called Assholes, yet they bleep out “ass”?  And how come they didn’t bleep him saying “asshole” weeks before, yet still bleeped “ass”.  Wait now he says it UNCENSORED!  My head is gonna explode.  Anderson says that Hogan was about to name him the next in line for a title shot after Slammiversary.  Hogan asks if he can continue and gets Anderson’s blessing.  He calls Rob Van Dam out to the ring.  Now he wants Jeff Hardy out in the ring, as well.  Now Anderson is playing up being a heel?  Hogan is losing his voice, but holds it together long enough to book Anderson vs. Hardy vs. RVD at Slammiversary in a number one contenders match.  Six Man Main Event is next.
4.  Daniels, Kazarian, and Bobby Roode vs.  Kurt Angle, Sting, and AJ Styles
–  AJ is a no show and heels attack before the bell.  Sting slaps a Scorpion Deathlock on Daniels and Angle puts on the Ankle Lock on Kaz.  They make the ropes and we’ll be right back.  Back on Impact, Daniels covers Sting for 2.  Kaz comes in and slingshots an elbow drop for 2.  Spin heel kick by Kaz gets 2.  Roode tagged in and misses a corner attack.  Sting misses a Stinger Splash.  Daniels and Kaz take out Angle.  Sting in the Crossface.  AJ Styles runs in and attacks Daniels.  Angle back in and belly to belly suplexes Kaz out of the ring.  PELE on Daniels and he is on the floor.  AJ flies on top of the pile of bodies on the floor.  Roode misses a shot with the title and Sting locks on the Scorpion Deathlock.  Roode taps again @ 10:15.  (Good way to set up the matches for Slammiversary.  Match was kind of a mess at the end.  C-.)
–  A good enough go-home show to build up Slammiversary.  All the matches got time and things didn’t seemed rushed like last week.  Knockouts are slowly getting my attention as one of the main factors of watching TNA.  There has to be a reason they are highly rated.  Entertaining, not bad looking, and great in-ring action.  I have you covered for Slammiversary on Sunday.  See you there.

Michael’s LIVE Impact Review

MAY 31, 2012

–  Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz.  Live in Orlando, Florida.

–  Pyro kicks it off with lumberjacks surrounding the ring and here we go!

1.  Bobby Roode vs.  Sting
–  Sting attack Roode at the bell with back hands.  Roode tries to chop him and Sting hiptosses him off the no-sell.  Roode gets hung up in the corner and Sting kicks him to the floor.  RVD throws him back in quick and Sting belts him back out.  Roode tossed back into an inverted atomic drop.  Stinger Splash misses and he gets tossed into the arms of the heel side.  Sting shoulderblocks back in and backdrops Roode.  Sting goes after Roode and gets thrown out the ring.  Heels beat him down and Roode takes advantage on the inside.  Jumping kneedrop gets 2.  Sitting waistlock on Sting by Roode.  Roode tosses Sting back outside and Sting beats the heels down.  With that we’ll be right back.  Back on Impact as Roode tries to chop Sting down in the corner.  Sting no-sells and tosses Roode to the floor.  Sting FLIES TO THE FLOOR ON ROODE AND SURROUNDING AREAS!  Back in the ring, Sting goes for the Scorpion Death Lock.  Roode counters with the Crossface.  Sting makes the ropes.  Botch on the Fisherman Suplex.  We go for it again, Sting side steps, Scorpion Death Drop connects.  Sting clamps on the Scorpion Death Lock and Roode taps out @ 13:41.  (A good way to kick off Impact and the crowd is actually hot tonight.  Sting gave it a great effort and Roode looked good too.  C+.)
–  And we now get Hulk Hogan appearance number one tonight.  Hogan books Sting versus Roode at Slammiversary for the TNA Heavyweight Title.  Not really digging that one.
–  Backstage, Madison Rayne is feeling good about meeting Brooke Hogan tonight.
–  Out in the ring, Bully Ray shows us the footage of him beating up Joseph Park from last week.  He invites Park to hit the ring for another ass-kicking.  Park won’t go until Ray makes remarks about his brother.  Ray tells security to let him through.  Park goes to leave the ring and Ray says he beat up Abyss months ago.  Park grabs Ray and Ray drops to his knees.  Ray says if he hits him, he’ll sue.  Park lets him go and Ray calls him a bigger coward than his brother.  Park challenges Ray ot a fight right now.  Ray says they will do it at Slammiversary.
–  A video (horribly done) shows for Crimson.  He is shown enjoying it wearing his new shirt with Papa Shango on the front.
–  Austin Aries is shown getting ready and he accidentally sprays Samoa Joe with it.
2.  Chris Sabin vs.  Austin Aries
–  Quick criss-cross to begin and Aries hits a dropkick for 2.  Sabin tries a rollup and boots Aries to the face.  Crucifix attempt and Sabin gets 2.  Sabin to the outside and Aries dives low through the ropes on him.  Back inside, Aries in a Tree ‘O Woe and misses a delayed dropkick in the corner.  Aries misses a dropkick to the corner and Sabin with a baseball slide dropkick sending Aries to the floor.  Twisting plancha on the outside connects.  Aries hung up in the ropes and Sabin nails a Slingshot Twisting Suplex for 2.  Sabin with a fireman’s carry and Aries turns out and rolls him up for the win @ 3:48.  (Great fast paced action and flawless in-ring.  Great TV match.  C+.)
–  Earlier today, Taz was talking with Hulk Hogan.  Apparently Taz is replacing Ric Flair in Gut Check.  Taz may be shorter than Sky Low Low.
–  Yesterday from Nashville, Bruce Pritchard, Al Snow, and Taz discuss Joey Ryan from last week.  Pritchard says he looks like a 70’s porn reject.  Taz doesn’t think he took things seriously.  Pritchard says he wasn’t blown away but he would remember him.  Taz says promo a bunch of times and we’ll be right back.
–  Dixie Carter makes her way out and the crowd actually goes dead because they had no idea who was walking out.  She announces that at Slammiversary we will get the first inductee for the TNA Hall of Fame.  How original.  She brings out the new director of the TNA Knockouts, Brooke Hogan.  Dixie and Brooke say a whole lotta nothing.  
–  Backstage, Daniels and Kaz wonder why Dixie didn’t bring up AJ.  Daniels says since they are live, he will bring it up after he beats AJ Styles.  
–  The winner of the website voting to see who will face Devon for the Television Title is….
3.  Devon vs.  Jeff Hardy
–  Couple of near falls get things started and we have a stalemate.  Hardy with a headlock, tries a head scissors throw, and Devon drops him with a clothesline.  Hardy comes back with a kick and Devon hits the mat.  Hardy runs and hops on the middle rope.  Devon ducks and grabs a neckbreaker from up high.  He hooks the leg for 2.  Hardy floats over on a lift and hits the Twist of Fate.  Hardy heads up top for the Swanton and gets tossed to the mat by Robbie E for the DQ @ 4:18.  (I was already prepared for the Hardy title win and this finish sucked.  Not a bad match either.  C-.)
–  Hardy and Devon take out Robbie E and ROBBIE T with Poetry in Motion.  ROBBIE T disrobes and flexes in the aisle.  
–  We see James Storm and his daughter on his farm riding horses.  She asks him if he is going back ot wrestling and that is a heat-getter for him.  He ends the interview abruptly.  
–  Back on Impact and we see the history between AJ Styles, Daniels and Kazarian.
–  But first, is time for the fate of Joey Ryan and Gut Check.  Bruce Pritchard, Al Snow, and Taz stand in the ring.  Joey Ryan is in the ring and looks extra Ron Jeremy tonight.  Pritchard says he likes the look but being int he business after 12 years, he should have already been a star.  He gives him a no.  Al Snow says he doesn’t like him.  But the question is potential.  Snow gives him a yes.  Ryan says a few short words and Taz is not impressed.  He says that if his career lives or dies by that promo, he ain’t getting in TNA.  Taz tells him no and we a have a moment of awkwardness as Ryan and Taz exchange words. Taz (of all people) says Ryan isn’t in shape enough to go through the rigors of day to day with TNA.  May have been shooting there.
4.  Daniels vs.  AJ Styles
–  Bell rings and Daniels slaps him in the face.  AJ chases his and dropkicks him down in the ring.  Daniels drops AJ with a sucker punch.  They battle for a suplex on the ropes and Daniels drops AJ down on the apron.  He sends AJ flying into the guardrail from the apron.  We’ll be right back.  Back on TNA and Daniels continues to punish AJ in the corner.  AJ jumps out of the back suplex and hits a turning kick on Daniels.  AJ nails the Springboard Forearm on Daniels.  He goes for the springboard inverted DDT, blocked, PELE connects.  AJ heads up and connects on a second Springboard, inverted DDT and gets the win @ 10:30.  (Great match between the two.  Wish they had more time.  C+.)
–  Kazarian comes in and attacks AJ.  Now here comes Kurt Angle and he suplexes him down.  Daniel attacks Angle and Kaz goes to zip tie Angle to the ropes and it won’t stay.  AH HAHAHAHA!  Daniels improvises by knocking out AJ with the tag belt.  Daniels says no one still believes them about AJ and Dixie Carter.  He plays a phone conversation between Dixie and AJ where AJ asks her if her husband will be at their home.  Dixie tells AJ not to let him know he is coming into town.  All of a sudden Dixie runs out to the announce table and yells through Taz’s headset to cut the show off.  Show ends.
–  Well, I was so pumped all day for this show.  Instead, I am kind of bummed now.  I thought for sure we would get a good surprise tonight.  Nothing to note.  And Sting gets another title shot at Slammiversary?  For fuck’s sake.  I knew with Dixie on the show, we would get a good acting gem from her tonight.  And as the show ended, she did not disappoint.  Very contrived.  I can’t defend this show.  But still better than Raw on Monday.  See you next Thursday, LIVE!

Michael’s Impact Review

MAY 24, 2012

–  Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz.

–  It’s Open Fight Night #2.  Hulk Hogan is in his office reading the show format sheet?  AJ Styles, Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy, and Bully Ray are with him.  He shows them the format sheet, Bully Ray tosses it aside.  He basically tells them its an open forum for ideas tonight.  Great idea.  He says Bobby Roode is on the road to becoming the longest reigning World champion in TNA history.  AJ Styles says it is important as Kurt Angle being a gold medalist.  Angle says he has won more titles than anyone in the room.  Ray says EVERYONE fears him and he can intimidate him if he wanted to.  Angle and Ray go back and forth until things turn towards AJ.  AJ says he has been there the longest and he wants to end Roode’s streak.  Angle says he beat him the last time they fought.  AJ says its because Daniels and Kazarian helped him.  Jeff Hardy speaks up and says let the fans decide.  FINALLY Angle asks Hogan what he wants to do.  Hogan says Bully won’t get the shot because he has been a main eventer for only a year.  Fucking horseshit is what I say.

–  Now inside the Impact Zone, and Gail Kim heads to the ring along with Madison Rayne.  She says she is the most dominant Knockouts Champion in the history of the company.  She built the division and everything revolves around her.  She has one blemish on her resume.  The Knockouts Tag Team Titles.  She wants to challenge Eric Young and ODB-Young to a match for the titles with Madison.  
1.  Gail Kim & Madison Rayne vs.  Eric Young & ODB-Young
–  EY and Gail begin it and she works his arm.  They trade holds until EY gets in trouble for a waistlock.  ODB comes in with a fallaway slam.  We’ll be right back.  Back on Impact Wrestling, ODB is in trouble and Madison comes in.  She boots ODB in the head for 2.  Gail back in and ODB spears her down.  HOT TAGS AROUND and Madison hammers EY as he struts around the ring.  Madison slaps him in the face and EY drops trow.  Hiptosses and bodyslams for everybody!  ODB tagged back in and hits a running powerslam on Gail for 2.5.  Gail jumps into the arms of ODB and Madison trips her up and holds the legs down for the win @ 9:48.  We have NEW TNA KNOCKOUT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!  (Comedy match, but good wrestling and a decent opener.  C-.)
–  Hogan is shown in his office and says its been a while since he’s seen him.  He punctuates it with a “holy shizzz”.
–  In the Impact Zone, Rob Van Dam heads out to the ring and calls out Gunner.  Leading to:
2.  Rob Van Dam vs.  Gunner
–  The brawl on the outside and Gunner throws a chair in the ring.  He comes in and trades shots with RVD. Step over kick drops Gunner followed by Rolling Thunder.  He charges the corner for the monkey flip and gets nailed in the jaw with an elbow.  Cover gets 2.  RVD battles back and Gunner grabs the chair.  RVD with a side kick to the chair and Gunner is out.  RVD heads up top and NAILS A FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH ACROSS THE ENTIRE RING FOR THE WIN [email protected] 2:52.  (Simple squash but great ending.  D+.)
–  Back on Impact, Devon is in the ring.  Oh yeah, we forgot to defend the TV belt last week.  He took part in the battle royal last week so he couldn’t defend his belt.  He wants to give Garret Bischoff a chance at the belt since he eliminated him last week.  Dear God.
3.  Devon vs.  Garret Bischoff
–  Devon begins with a side headlock takeover.  Garret returns with the same and Devon misses a shoulderblock.  Both men back to their feet.  Devon grabs a side headlock and here comes ROBBIE T and Robbie E for the DRAW @ 55 seconds.  (DUD)  Devon takes out both men and now Garret helps him out.  
–  Hogan is in his office and tells Jeff Hardy he is eliminated from contention.  
–  Bully Ray makes his way to the ring and fucks with crowd plants before entering.  Hogan eliminated him from contention and he is pissed off.  He will take it out on everyone in the Impact Zone.  Please be my guest.  He calls out Joseph Park and here he comes down to the ring.  Park wants to hold court with the IZ as a jury.  Crowd chants guilty and Ray drops Park.  He whips him with a chain and tells him “not guilty”.  
–  Next Gut Check victim is Joey Ryan.  He is from PWG and looks like the Genius off of growth.
4.  Joey Ryan vs.  Austin Aries
–  Nice chain wrestling to start and Aries takes him down on a drop toe hold.  Ryan slaps him and Aries beats him to the outside.  Aries grabs his chest hair and Ryan slaps him away.  He goes for a pump handle slam and Aries counters with a ROARIN elbow.  Ryan on the apron and he slingshots into a dropkick by Aries.  He slugs Aries down in the corner.  Wheelbarrow Slam by Ryan gets 2.  Aries catches him with a dropkick to the corner and Brain Buster ends it @ 4:07.  (Ryan is impressive.  Aries keeps making it look so easy.  B-.)
–  THE DECISION (not that one) is next!
–  Bobby Roode is headed to the ring and it’s only 10:20?  Can TNA give us a 30 minute main event?  Come on, a man can hope, can’t he?  AJ Style and Kurt Angle head to the ring and now, Hulk Hogan.  Hogan rambles and its is taking away from the match.  Finally he decides on AJ Styles.
5.  Bobby Roode vs. AJ Styles
–  Roode bails immediately to slow the pace.  Test of Strength and Roode backs AJ to the corner for chops.    AJ explodes out the corner with a dropkick.  Roode to the outside and we’ll be right back!  Back on Impact after 3 minutes of TNA promos on the other side of 3 minutes of regular commercials.  AJ gets backdropped to the floor and Roode slams his shoulder to the ringpost.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Roode works the arm over the ropes and stomps on it.  AJ tries fighting back and Roode smacks the arm again.  Roode charges and AJ backdrops him to the floor.  AJ slingshots to the floor.  AJ sends Roode into the ringsteps.  AJ charges and gets HIPTOSSED on top of the ringsteps!  Back inside, Roode covers for 2.  Elsewhere, Hulk Hogan is notified his guest is here.  We’ll be right back.  Back AGAIN on Impact, and Roode drops AJ with a high impact suplex.  Cover gets 2.5.  AJ on the apron, tries a slingshot back in and Roode hits the ropes.  Roode charges into a shoulderblock and AJ springboards into the ring with a forearm.  Cover gets 2.8!  Roode sets AJ on the top rope.  Roode tries the superplex.  AJ headbutts him down.  HIGH MISSILE DROPKICK CONNECTS FOR 2.99999999999!  Roode tries the fisherman suplex, AJ blocks, hits the ropes and SPEARED by Roode.  Cover gets 2.9!  Roode clamps on a Crossface, but AJ counters with a roll-up for 2.  Bridging Chinlock by AJ applied!  Roode makes the ropes.    AJ charges into a DOUBLE R SPINEBUSTER!  Fisherman Suplex by Roode gets 2.9999999999999999999999!  AJ up, side steps Roode, and PELE KICK!  AJ looks up the ramp, goes for the springboard 450, Roode gets the knees up, Fisherman Suplex gets Roode the win @ 21:30.  (Great match.  Clean finish, no ref bump, no bullshit.  Just clean wrestling.  A.)
–  Roode is celebrating in the ring as he has became the longest reigning TNA Champion in the history of the company.  He calls for Hulk Hogan to come out to celebrate with him.  After the commercial break, of course.  
–  Back on Impact and Roode is calling for his confetti shower.  And down pours his Mexican America colored confetti.  Roode drinks champagne as Hulk Hogan comes out.  Hogan congratulates him and says one more person wants to celebrate with Roode.  The lights go out and Sting appears.  He beats Roode out of the ring.  Hogan announces that when Impact goes live next Thursday, Roode will face Sting in a Lumberjack Match.  
–  Son of a bitch.  I’m pulling for the under dog.  I’m amazed at how great that main event was…and then BLAM!  Back to reality with the last 3 minutes of Impact!  STING?!?  Fucking Sting?!?  Even I, the same guy who painted his face like Sting and went to countless WCW/NWA shows in the late 80’s and early 90’s screaming for Sting is saying “fuck this guy”!  How am I supposed to care about Sting vs Bobby Roode next week.  Remember when Roode beat the living FUCK out of him at Victory Road?  Why do I care?  No no no, TNA.  BAD TNA!  See you next week.  Sorry about the swearing.

Michael’s Impact Review

MAY 17, 2012

–  Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz.  –  With the fallout from last Sunday’s Sacrifice, we get many questions answered in the opening video.  Then many more asked.  
–  Now inside the Impact Zone, Bobby Roode makes his way out and he is STILL the World Heavyweight Champion.  He has overcome the odds once again and will be throwing a huge bash next week to celebrate being the longest World Champion in TNA history.  He calls it his “It Factor Celebration of Domination”.  He calls out Hulk Hogan to hit the ring.  He has a list of demands for his party next week.  Hogan tears up his list because Roode hasn’t become anything yet.  He informs him that next week is Open Fight Night.  He says the World Title is going to be defended and invites a few of his “friends” to come out that may wanna partake in becoming the next TNA Champion.  Everyone from Devon to ODB is out there.  He is booking four elimination matches for tonight:  Rob Van Dam vs.  Bully Ray, Jeff Hardy vs. Ken Anderson, Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle. and then a Wild Card Battle Royal.  
1.  Bully Ray vs.  Rob Van Dam
–  Ray stops for a good minute and a half to rip up a sign and toss it in the air at ringside.  RVD works a side headlock and gets shoved back.  Ray pushes him back to the corner and gets dropped.  Rolling Thunder connects but Ray grabs a leg and works it over.  Ray misses a splash and RVD connects on a series of clotheslines.  RVD heads up top and misses a jumping side kick.  Bubba Cutter (not the great ECW one, but a cutter nonetheless) gets the win @ 3:22.  (Good match with back and forth action.  I can get jiggy with that all day.  C.)
–  We will take a look at King Mo later on.  I have no clue who this guy is, but his interview last week on MMA Live reminded me of Floyd Mayweather’s mic work.  That or Butters from South Park.
–  Back from commercial and they show THE WHOLE FUCKING INTERVIEW FROM MMA LIVE FROM LAST WEEK!  Fucking shit!
–  Backstage, Gail is pissed and telling Madison how she has to face both Velvet and Brooke tonight.  Madison don’t care.  Madison don’t give a shit.
2.  Wild Card Battle Royal
–  Entrants include Austin Aries, Crimson, Robbie E, ROBBIE T, Magnus, AJ Styles, Devon, Eric Young, ODB, Gunner, and Garret Bischoff.  By the time I type that, EY, ODB, and Crimson eliminated.  Magnus gone too.  Madison Rayne comes out to admire someone.  Robbie E eliminates ROBBIE T.  And Devon comes up from behind and tosses Robbie E.  ANOTHER COMMERCIAL BREAK?!?  SERIOUSLY!?  We are back and in the ring are Austin Aries, Devon, Garret Bischoff, AJ Styles, Gunner, and Austin Aries.  Devon charges towards Garret and gets eliminated.  AJ tosses Garret as he celebrates.  AJ and Aries do battle and its a counters in here Gentlemen.  AJ springboards over Aries and Gunner eliminates Aries.  AJ grabs Gunner and wins the Battle Royal @ 10:57.
–  Back on Impact and a blown up AJ Styles has the mic.  He says he has been business partners with Dixie for the last 10 years.  He can understand how things can get all mixed up, but they are both happily married. This brings out Daniels and Kazarian.  Kaz wants to know the truth about the pictures.  AJ swears his innocence.  Daniels breaks out an iPad and we see video of AJ and Dixie in a hotel headed to a room alone.  AJ snatches the iPad away and leaves the ring.  
–  We go back to 2006 when Angle defeated Joe the first time.  Now live backstage, Joe and Angle are chatting.  Angle slaps Joe and they brawl until the locker room breaks it up.  Hardy faces Anderson next.  Speaking of Anderson, he is chewing gum extra loud and breaking down angles of his controversial pinfall of Hardy from Sacrifice.  I change the channel.
3.  Mr. Anderson vs.  Jeff Hardy
–  Hardy with a waistlock to start and Anderson escapes.  Misses a neck breaker and Hardy drops him.  Hardy with a leg drop between the legs and gets 2.  Hardy kicks Anderson to the outside.  Anderson rolls back in and rolls him up for 2.  Hardy slingshots back in with a dropkick for 2.  Anderson returns with a neckbreaker for 2.  Hardy chop blocks the knee quickly.  Russian Leg Sweep by Hardy.  He grabs the legs and Anderson rolls him up for 2.  Hardy comes back with Whisper in the Wind for 2.  He goes for the Twist of Fate, blocked, Roll Through by Anderson, but Hardy counters with a Crucifix for the win @ 6:10.  (As much as I wanna be biased, a great match.  So much, I’m rating this a B-.)
4.  Velvet Sky vs.  Brooke Tessmacher vs.  Gail Kim
–  Gail tries to run and Brooke dumps her to the outside.  Couple of near falls between Brooke and Velvet.  Good three way moves (and not that way) including a Boston crab while Velvet has a side headlock.  Gail heads up top and dropkicks both women down.  Velvet hits In Yo Face on Brooke, but Gail dumps her to the floor.  Gail rolls up Brooke with a handful of tights for the win @ 4:40.  (Decent in ring work from all three.  Tried some interesting combinations and a good ending.  Hell a “happy ending” if you will.  
–  A pretty good commercial for the past 10 years of TNA airs.  Impressive.  
5.  Samoa Joe vs.  Kurt Angle
–  Angle tries an underhook on Joe and gets dropped.  Joe with a flying knee drop.  Joe wipes his boot on Angle’s face.  Joe charges into a belly to belly overhead throw.  Bobby Roode comes out to observe and we’ll be right back.  Back on Impact and Angle suplexes Joe over.  Angle rolls on top and chinlocks him.  Oh, and Roode is on commentary if you give a damn.  Joe escapes and Angle jumps off the second rope into an inverted atomic drop.  Joe hits the ropes and boots him in the face.  Joe lifts for a powerbomb and Angle slips out.  Angle with the Rolling Germans.  Joe hits the ropes and Angle lifts and nails the ANGLE SLAM!  Cover gets 2.8!  They trade shots and Joe belts Angle down.  Angle with the Ankle Lock applied. Joe kicks him away.  He puts Angle on the top for the Muscle Buster and Angle headbutts out.  Sunset flip off the top and Angle gets the win @ 12:27.  (Fantastic match.  I like that they hyped this match over the whole show and it delivered in every aspect.  B+.)
–  Hogan’s fucking rambling at the beginning of the show confused me.  I had no idea is we were setting up a five way match or what these guys were competing for.  Apparently Hogan will make the choice of one of these men to face Roode next week.  Other than that, every match was good.  Even the Knockouts match delivered.  Not a bunch of pointless promos backstage, just good wrestling in the ring.  And I am awarding $500 in Monopoly money to Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle for match of the night.  I always enjoy these two, much like my admiration for AJ and Angle matches.  Tommy Hall has you covered for Over the Limit and I’ll see you next week.