Lightning Round: Worst Storylines

Lightning Round Challenge™: For some of the longer tenured rasslers on the WWE roster, what is the one angle that you can associate that them with and go “wow, someone was paid money to come up with this?” For a handful of those listed, I’m sure you could think of a dozen per person, but in this case, just the first one that pops to mind. As always, thanks for the years of entertainment and ripping apart those storylines to begin with. John Cena The Bray Wyatt feud.  Made no sense, went nowhere, destroyed Bray as a main event guy.  Kane Oh god, so many to choose from.  Probably the one where he was fighting the fake version of himself because reasons.  The Undertaker Speaking of fighting the fake version of yourself… Big Show Undertaker leaves him in the desert as training.  Randy Orton Wasn’t the Hogan storyline pretty stupid?  Triple H Katie Vick, boom.  Goldust TAFKA Goldust in general.  Which then leads to doomsday preacher Dustin Runnells and the return of the original Goldust character.  So bad all around.  Sting (got to get his name out there for potential Mania 32 rumors!) Black Scorpion, bitches. 

Could TNA and WWE be running identical Summer storylines?

Scott,


TNA, if they are building towards Hogan vs. Bully at Bound For Glory might be running the same storyline as WWE is now. Take a gaander:

TNA – Roster + Brooke Hogan + Dixie Carter begging Hulk to not wrestle against Bully Ray. He says he has to

WWE – McMahon family + Roster beggiing Triple H to not wrestle because of his "concussion" incident. 

Quite strange. Both men booking themselves in the same sympathy storyline. Which do you prefer? I definitely prefer Hogan's. 


I find the HHH one pretty distasteful because it's not a story that anyone is interested in seeing or believes, and it plays on a problem that exists far too often in the real world.  Not to mention that the World champion has been out for weeks with a concussion because he's been killing himself for the company for years.  Whereas HHH does two matches a year and makes sure to put himself over the best talent in the company whenever he works.  

With the Hogan story, my problem is that Hogan CAN'T work the match and we know it.  The story itself is fine, but we're just sick of seeing the guy and we already know he's not going to move the numbers.  

Question for Blog: Storylines WWE Can’t Mess Up

You mentioned in an earlier post that WWE has only three or four storylines they actually know how to write, hence why we're continually subjected to the "Power Vacuum" and  "Heel GM vs. Top Babyface" feuds. But what are some storylines that WWE gets right, more often than not?
For me, I don't know that the "Babyface Must Obey the Heel" storyline has ever not been over, even at its worst (HBK working for JBL, to say nothing of all the missed potential of Cena working for Nexus). It's a well I'm surprised they don't go to more often. 
Any other storylines?

Love Triangle is incredibly difficult to blow, which is why everyone tends to remember the times when they did.  Underdog Babyface has been done a bunch and is generally effective.  Masked Babyface is usually pretty fun, although it doesn't really lend itself well to main event storylines.  

GM/Power Struggle storylines

Hey Scott, just wanted your thoughts on this.  I, like many, am getting bored with the stale product of the WWE.  One of your bloggers, Tommy Hall at kbwrestlingreviews.com actually pointed this out and it seems that the WWE only does these power struggle storylines with their GM's.  It's been going on for well over a year now.  It started with CM Punk and Vince during the Summer of Punk.  Then it went to Triple H overtaking Vince.  Next it was Triple H vs John Laurinaitis/WWE roster. After that we had Laurinaitis vs Teddy Long.  Then to Laurinaitis vs Cena/Vince(from Mania to whatever their June ppv was, Laurinaitis' GM job was on the line at 3 out of 4 ppvs).  They currently have a little something going on with Booker T/Teddy Long vs Eve on Smackdown and now over at RAW we have AJ vs Vickie.  I mean AJ has been GM for what, a month and they are already doing a power struggle storyline with her?  You could go back even further with that stupid anonymous computer GM and Edge(although at least that had some amusing segments).  Can't this company come up with something different? I guess I shouldn't expect much from a company that would rather get things to trend on twitter than produce an entertaining product.  Are you or even your bloggers getting a little tired of this too? 

Your thoughts

Of course we're all tired of it.  They have three or four storylines that they know how to write and they beat them into the ground because they know they can pop a rating or buyrate with them, even it's diminished returns each time.  That's why someone arranges a wedding every couple of years, or the GM goes evil and screws with the lead babyface, or a midcard heel goes on a losing streak or whatever.  AJ as GM has amounted to skipping out when someone is arguing and then making a match between them, or putting someone in a match with Kane as punishment.  Why do we even need someone to make the matches?  If Punk and Sheamus are arguing to start the show, do we as viewers really need someone to make that logical leap for us instead of just having Sheamus throw out a challenge and then they fight later in the show?  Why is every match treated like punishment?  "Later tonight, you're wrestling ZACK RYDER!" and the heel has to act all shocked as if they were expecting to show up and hang out for three hours even though their chosen profession involves wrestling professionally in a ring and they're already wearing their gear.  

Storylines

Hey Scott,
I remember you once saying that in pro wrestling, you can really only do 7 storylines. It’s just the matter of *how* you do it that counts. What were those 7 storylines? I can only think of 3: the revenge storyline, the championship storyline, the love triangle storyline. Anything else?

Are you sure I wasn’t just making a joke related to the 7 Basic Plots? It might have been a Cornette-ism, too.   

Storylines

Hey Scott,
I remember you once saying that in pro wrestling, you can really only do 7 storylines. It’s just the matter of *how* you do it that counts. What were those 7 storylines? I can only think of 3: the revenge storyline, the championship storyline, the love triangle storyline. Anything else?

Are you sure I wasn’t just making a joke related to the 7 Basic Plots? It might have been a Cornette-ism, too.   

Storylines

Hey Scott,
I remember you once saying that in pro wrestling, you can really only do 7 storylines. It’s just the matter of *how* you do it that counts. What were those 7 storylines? I can only think of 3: the revenge storyline, the championship storyline, the love triangle storyline. Anything else?

Are you sure I wasn’t just making a joke related to the 7 Basic Plots? It might have been a Cornette-ism, too.   

Storylines

Hey Scott,
I remember you once saying that in pro wrestling, you can really only do 7 storylines. It’s just the matter of *how* you do it that counts. What were those 7 storylines? I can only think of 3: the revenge storyline, the championship storyline, the love triangle storyline. Anything else?

Are you sure I wasn’t just making a joke related to the 7 Basic Plots? It might have been a Cornette-ism, too.   

Storylines

Hey Scott,
I remember you once saying that in pro wrestling, you can really only do 7 storylines. It’s just the matter of *how* you do it that counts. What were those 7 storylines? I can only think of 3: the revenge storyline, the championship storyline, the love triangle storyline. Anything else?

Are you sure I wasn’t just making a joke related to the 7 Basic Plots? It might have been a Cornette-ism, too.   

Storylines

Hey Scott,
I remember you once saying that in pro wrestling, you can really only do 7 storylines. It’s just the matter of *how* you do it that counts. What were those 7 storylines? I can only think of 3: the revenge storyline, the championship storyline, the love triangle storyline. Anything else?

Are you sure I wasn’t just making a joke related to the 7 Basic Plots? It might have been a Cornette-ism, too.   

Storylines

Hey Scott,
I remember you once saying that in pro wrestling, you can really only do 7 storylines. It’s just the matter of *how* you do it that counts. What were those 7 storylines? I can only think of 3: the revenge storyline, the championship storyline, the love triangle storyline. Anything else?

Are you sure I wasn’t just making a joke related to the 7 Basic Plots? It might have been a Cornette-ism, too.   

Great Storylines

Hey Scott, since everyone always criticizes WWE for botching major story angles such as the Invasion angle, the recent CM Punk angle, Nexus, etc.  I’m just
wondering if there has ever been an angle that you thought played out perfectly from beginning to end.  I thought Michaels-UT career vs. streak was played out perfectly, but I can’t
think of any others.
-Also speaking of Nexus, since they’re now dead and done, how would you have booked that angle to make it more meaningful instead of just turning them into jobbers 5
months later?

Rowdy Roddy Piper v. Adrian Adonis, 1987.  Everyone’s motivations were perfectly defined and it created a new star in Brutus Beefcake.  Here’s the summary for those who haven’t looked it up on Youtube: – Piper has Piper’s Pit segment for years on WWF TV, then leaves for Hollywood in 1986 to do They Live and some other stuff. – While he’s gone, Adrian Adonis starts doing The Flower Shop segment, thus annoying everyone.  It was purposely super-gay and irritating. – Piper returns in late 86 as something of a tweener, but finds that Cowboy Bob Orton is now wearing a pink hat and acting as muscle for Adonis.  Piper, on behalf of the fans, demands that Adonis give up the talk show slot, and asks Orton to stop wearing the pink hat and come back to the dark side with Piper.  Piper basically tells Orton to pick a side, and Orton turns on him, leading to a massive beatdown on the Flower Shop where Adonis, Orton and Don Muraco break Piper’s leg. – The next week, Piper comes back to the empty set, on crutches mind you, and smashes the living fuck out of the set with a BASEBALL BAT in one of the most awesome bits of acting you’ll ever see from a wrestler.  – So now they book the blowoff for WM3, the biggest thing in the history of history up until that point, and it’s hair v. hair for some reason.  Piper promises to retire win lose or draw and just wants to get his revenge before he goes.  So they do a six-man on TV, with Piper and the Rougeaus against Adonis and the Dream Team.  Adonis is all focused on cutting Piper’s hair, but at one point he grabs scissors and accidentally cuts off a lock of super-vain Brutus Beefcake’s hair.  – At WM, Adonis has Piper beat, but releases the sleeper too soon because he’s cocky, and Brutus Beefcake runs in to revive Piper, allowing him to finish with the sleeper and get his revenge.  Then Beefcake gets his own revenge by shaving Adonis bald and becoming a barber, thus becoming a bigger star.  Piper retires, Adonis gets his comeuppance and leaves soon after, Beefcake moves up the ladder and turns face.  As I’ve often said, ** for the action, ***** for the entertainment value.  As for Nexus, I would have started by putting them over the babyfaces at Summerslam by having Cena lose to Barrett, and you could have run six months of main event angles just from that change in booking alone. 

Great Storylines

Hey Scott, since everyone always criticizes WWE for botching major story angles such as the Invasion angle, the recent CM Punk angle, Nexus, etc.  I’m just
wondering if there has ever been an angle that you thought played out perfectly from beginning to end.  I thought Michaels-UT career vs. streak was played out perfectly, but I can’t
think of any others.
-Also speaking of Nexus, since they’re now dead and done, how would you have booked that angle to make it more meaningful instead of just turning them into jobbers 5
months later?

Rowdy Roddy Piper v. Adrian Adonis, 1987.  Everyone’s motivations were perfectly defined and it created a new star in Brutus Beefcake.  Here’s the summary for those who haven’t looked it up on Youtube: – Piper has Piper’s Pit segment for years on WWF TV, then leaves for Hollywood in 1986 to do They Live and some other stuff. – While he’s gone, Adrian Adonis starts doing The Flower Shop segment, thus annoying everyone.  It was purposely super-gay and irritating. – Piper returns in late 86 as something of a tweener, but finds that Cowboy Bob Orton is now wearing a pink hat and acting as muscle for Adonis.  Piper, on behalf of the fans, demands that Adonis give up the talk show slot, and asks Orton to stop wearing the pink hat and come back to the dark side with Piper.  Piper basically tells Orton to pick a side, and Orton turns on him, leading to a massive beatdown on the Flower Shop where Adonis, Orton and Don Muraco break Piper’s leg. – The next week, Piper comes back to the empty set, on crutches mind you, and smashes the living fuck out of the set with a BASEBALL BAT in one of the most awesome bits of acting you’ll ever see from a wrestler.  – So now they book the blowoff for WM3, the biggest thing in the history of history up until that point, and it’s hair v. hair for some reason.  Piper promises to retire win lose or draw and just wants to get his revenge before he goes.  So they do a six-man on TV, with Piper and the Rougeaus against Adonis and the Dream Team.  Adonis is all focused on cutting Piper’s hair, but at one point he grabs scissors and accidentally cuts off a lock of super-vain Brutus Beefcake’s hair.  – At WM, Adonis has Piper beat, but releases the sleeper too soon because he’s cocky, and Brutus Beefcake runs in to revive Piper, allowing him to finish with the sleeper and get his revenge.  Then Beefcake gets his own revenge by shaving Adonis bald and becoming a barber, thus becoming a bigger star.  Piper retires, Adonis gets his comeuppance and leaves soon after, Beefcake moves up the ladder and turns face.  As I’ve often said, ** for the action, ***** for the entertainment value.  As for Nexus, I would have started by putting them over the babyfaces at Summerslam by having Cena lose to Barrett, and you could have run six months of main event angles just from that change in booking alone.