Monday Night Raw Date: January 15, 2007 Location: Centurytel Center, Bossier City, Louisiana Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We are on the way to the Royal Rumble though you might not know it based on how the last few weeks have gone. Instead, the last few weeks have focused on various celebrities, or at least celebrity impersonators in last week’s case. The actual wrestling stories coming out of last week saw a likely rematch being set up between John Cena and Umaga for the Raw World Title, and Shawn Michaels vs. Rated-RKO this week. Let’s get to it.
Welcome back to more Dream Matches! Now, if you’re anything like me, every once in a while you wake up and go “I really want to watch a dozen Roadblock matches”, but I wasn’t sure about doing a “Best of Roadblock” column or just spreading the joy throughout multiple columns. But watching him fight Tugboat in 1991 just needs some focus on its own, you know?
Also, this week we’ll see the TV debut of some tall guy named Dwayne Johnson as “Flex Kavana”, as he teams up with Brian Christopher against Jerry Lawler & Bill Dundee in the Memphis territory, while Dwayne prepares for his WWF callup in one of the few old territories left. Also, it’s a Berzerker frenzy, as John Nord squashes both Shawn Michaels and Jim Powers in different decades! Who knows if either of those pretty boys will recover their careers?
Also, come watch Blitzkrieg fight Super Calo! With NO BOTCHING! Swear to God! Except once. Where Blitzkrieg nearly dies. But other than that it was clean!
USWA TAG TEAM TITLES: FLEX KAVANA & “TOO SEXY” BRIAN CHRISTOPHER vs. “THE KING” JERRY LAWLER & BILL DUNDEE: (USWA, mid-1996) * So yes, this is the first EVER televised match for one Dwayne Johnson, as he appears in his USWA incarnation, with barely any training under his belt (he graduated college only the year before), as “Flex Kavana” (a nickname 411/Inside Pulse’s Eric S would always use to make fun of him). And he’s teaming with “Too Sexy” against the old men of the territory, Jerry & Bill, at a combined age of 970, with Bill in yellow tights and Jerry in his blue one-strap. Flex is in black trunks, Brian in white tiger-striped tights. Flex, with the same heelish tint in his voice that the Rock would later use, declares his team “Naughty by nature and violent by design”. There’s barely anyone at all in this embarrassingly-tiny red TV studio as the USWA promotion dies and dies. Lawler is actually a heel at this point.
Monday Night Raw Date: January 8, 2007 Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
It’s the night after New Year’s Revolution and things have changed a bit. That bit would be HHH tearing his quadricep again during the DX vs. Rated-RKO tag match. Odds are that is going to shake up a good amount of the show as we head towards Wrestlemania. Other than that, John Cena retained the World Title over Umaga with a quick rollup. We’re less than a month away from the Royal Rumble too so let’s get to it.
Monday Night Raw Date: December 18, 2006 Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC Attendance: 11,324 Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
It’s the last regular(ish) Raw of the year as next week is a trip to Iraq for Tribute to the Troops. This week is another big one though as we have a special three hour edition. The opening match will be a thirty man battle royal for a shot at John Cena’s WWE Title later in the night, so they’re going pretty hard with this one. Let’s get to it.
The legendary Jimmy Graffiti, the finest gimmick of “Gigolo” Jimmy Del Ray.
This week in the “Dream Matches”, here’s the most disappointing match between two all-time great workers possible! Plus Shawn Michaels trying to crawl up the WWF card in 1992 against the Texas Tornado! One of those matches only WCW could have, featuring Jimmy Del Ray as a rebellious young street tagger and Prince Nakamaki in a cheap Tiger Mask outfit! Oh, and New Japan legendary asshole Shinjiro Otani fights Jerry Lynn in his Luchadore/Power Rangers ripoff gear!
“MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE vs. “STUNNING” STEVE AUSTIN (w/ Col. Robert Parker): (WCW Saturday Night, 27.05.1995) * Yes, an ultra-rare meeting between two of the greatest stars in the history of the business… passing like two ships in the night because Austin’s about to get dumped. “Stunning Steve” has a terrible receding hairline, wispy blond hair, black trunks & leather jacket, and no goatee, while Savage is in full Mega Powers colors, but with Slim Jim décor on his cowboy outfit. The winner of the match will face the winner of Ric Flair & Alex Wright. And before you get too excited and search this out, the YouTube video is only 7 minutes long and half of it’s pre-match bullshit.
Austin pokes the bear with a slap to start, and eats a back elbow and gets choked over the ropes for it. Austin goes to the eyes and brawls, but misses a flying splash (?!?) and Savage rams him into the Slim Jim post coverings (those don’t look painful at all) and the guardrail, then finishes with the Flying Elbow in the ring at (2:19). Haha, jesus christ.
Rating: * (TWO MINUTES. That’s all it got. Nice moves, as Austin was very smooth back in the day, but TWO MINUTES)
This week: Another FAT MAN STAND-OFF, as it’s Cousin vs. Cousin! At least I think that’s how they’re related.
Welcome to another set of Dream Matches! Last week’s Wrestling Summit review was kind of a big show, so I needed a few smaller matches and easier-to-find ones to do this week, but I think I found some neat stuff- mostly revolving around Yokozuna’s WWF career, plus some other random guys. So this week, you will see an early Yokozuna squash against Koko B. Ware, then a scrap against his cousin Fatu in his role as The Sultan! And ending with one of his last WWF singles matches, as he takes on God-Tier Main Eventer Shawn Michaels!
Hoo boy, and if you’re a mark for Alex “The Pug” Porteau, are YOU gonna be happy- watch as the Pug takes on Salvatore Sincere and Fit Finlay on separate occasions! Can you believe
YOKOZUNA (w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. KOKO B. WARE: (WWF RAW, Jan. 11th 1993) * The dreaded “Rob Bartlett” era continues, as he declares “that is one big-butted Oriental, Vince!” then quips “He’s got an ass like an amphitheater!” How did THAT one make it to air? Koko’s in the AMAZING High Energy parachute pants (neon yellow, baby!), while Yoko’s in the cool old gear- the white with red. No Frankie- Vince suggests “Maybe Yokozuna had a little SNACK before he came out here”.
Monday Night Raw Date: September 11, 2006 Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York Attendance: 17,298 Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Oh yeah I think they might make this one feel special. It’s the go home show for Unforgiven and that means we need the final push forward, including a pretty big main event. This week it’s Vince McMahon vs. HHH, which should be rather special for Vince given what the Garden means to him. Let’s get to it.
Welcome to more Dream Matches! This time with my new obsession: random forgotten characters! All of this is readily available on YouTube.
So the accepted story with Max Moon goes as follows: Lucha superstar Konnan was brought in to the WWF by Vince McMahon in hopes of playing this futuristic spaceman superhero-type character. He spends a bajillion dollars on the suit, including gauntlets that fire streamers and a steam-shooting rocket pack to “jump” up the ring steps. But then Konnan, owing to his success in Mexico (where he was actually on a soap opera, plus was selling out major shows) and the fact that the suit took a ton of effort, was like “fuck this” and bailed, never even making TV with the gear. Vince was furious and left with this wildly expensive ridiculous suit, at which point Paul Diamond, probably about to be cut as his “Kato” persona was now a complete jobber act, made one of the smartest observations in history: “Hey, I bet I could fit in that suit”. And so suddenly Diamond is now repackaged as this new character, adding about 4-5 months of WWF paydays to his career until they cut him loose for real. Diamond explains some of it, here.
Time for more Dream Matches- this time centered by an SNME match between Demolition & The Rockers! Also, a REMATCH to the classic Jim Powers/Bobby Walker vs. Renegade/Joe Gomez match I showed you last week… PLUS the legendary explosion of that very same Renegade/Gomez team! And then not one, but TWO High Voltage solo matches, as Rage & Kaos face Fit Finlay & Perry Saturn, respectively! And then we cap things off with a Papa Shango vs. Typhoon match, long after either man was relevant! I couldn’t have booked a better match myself!
DEMOLITION (Smash & Crush, w/ Ax) vs. THE ROCKERS (Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannetty): (Saturday Night’s Main Event, July 27 1990) * This is the prelude to SummerSlam, with the Demos now as heels. The Rockers are in bright yellow, and gaining credibility at this point.
Monday Night Raw Date: August 7, 2006 Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee Attendance: 10,000 Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We’re coming up on Summerslam but this week’s show is going to be interesting in a bad way. The roster is fresh off of an Australia tour so there is a good chance that they are going to be absolutely spent. I certainly can’t blame them for that, but it can make for a dull show. Let’s get to it.
Monday Night Raw Date: July 24, 2006 Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio Attendance: 12,000 Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We’re on the way to Summerslam and that means it’s time to start cranking up the build towards the show. You can guess where a lot of the card is going but they still need to hammer home some of the details. That can be quite the tricky situation but hopefully they can figure it out. Let’s get to it.
Monday Night Raw Date: May 22, 2006 Location: Thomas And Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Smackdown has gotten through its pay per view now so it’s time for Raw to get ready for something of its own. In theory at least, as the next show is ECW One Night Stand, which could go in a lot of directions. This show has been a lot better than Smackdown as of late though so hopefully they keep it up here. Let’s get to it.
This show took place on Friday, August 4, 1995 at the Knoxville Civic Coliseum in Knoxville, Tennessee. According to Dave Meltzer’s Wrestling Observer, the show drew a crowd of 5,000, with 4,600 fans paying, thereby creating a gate of $37,500. That made this the best-attended card in the history of the promotion. The show is provided courtesy of a fan cam.
And we’re back with more bizarre finds of “what can I find by typing random names into YouTube?” (and also some requests from sadistic BOD members). This set sees a match between two of the worst workers of all time clearly booked by a monster, along with some unusual WWF matches- the Colossal Connection vs. The Rockers, plus a certain legendary JTTS worker “Huss”-es his way in!
Once again, WWF YouTube videos are non-kosher to post here, but you can find them pretty easily.
ZEUS vs. ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER: (World Wrestling Council, 1990) * OH MY GOD SOMEONE ALLOWED THIS TO HAPPEN!!! This is in Puerto Rico, a pretty wild territory (a murderous one, even), with the famous blood ‘n’ guts wrestler Abdullah facing off against Zeus, following his WWF run, which was so bad he wasn’t even trusted to do a solo match with Hogan in a big way. They look like a pair of “Fist of the North Star” villains fighting- Zeus roided to the gills and in silver & black pants, and Abdullah this scarred-up monstrosity, baggy pants hoisted up to his tits. I mean, at least Zeus LOOKS like a star.
Monday Night Raw Date: May 8, 2006 Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California Attendance: 15,290 Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
I’m not sure what the focus is going to be here as we had the big Joey Styles angle last week, along with what looks to be Shawn Michaels/HHH vs. the McMahons/the Spirit Squad. That could make for some interesting moments, as could Edge vs. Mick Foley in another hardcore match, which probably won’t be as good as Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.
Chip Kessler and Les Thatcher call the action from the Jellico High School tapings. Kessler has been trying to channel Vince McMahon to kick off each program by screaming “Neexxtt” but he just ends up sounding like he is grunting on the toilet.
Monday Night Raw Date: May 1, 2006 Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler
Backlash has come and gone and that means things are going to be slowing down a little bit. There is no Raw pay per view in May so the next one is coming up in June with One Night Stand. The big story coming out of last night saw HHH pretty much turning face despite losing in the main event where John Cena retained the World Title. Let’s get to it.
Monday Night Raw Date: September 28, 2020 Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida Commentators: Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton
Clash Of Champions has come and gone and we are on the way to the Cell. That could mean a few different directions, though Orton vs. McIntyre III would seem to be in the cards. At the same time though, the Draft is looming and that means we could be in for a big shakeup in the next few weeks. Hopefully we don’t have a big lull for the next few weeks on the way there. Let’s get to it.
Backlash 2006 Date: April 30, 2006 Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky Attendance: 14,000 Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
This is a very special show for me as I was in the audience live. It was the first pay per view I ever got to attend live and the only one I would see in person for about fourteen years. We have a two match show here with John Cena defending the World Title against HHH and Edge in a triple threat, plus Shawn Michaels/God vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon in a match that can’t possibly take place without a lot of cringing. Let’s get to it.