Ring of Honor Glory By Honor II September 20th, 2003

September 20, 2003

From the Murphy Rec Center in Philadelphia, PA

Your hosts are Chris Levy and CM Punk

Colt Cabana is shown hyping up the 4-man match tonight that includes AJ Styles, Chris Sabin, and Matt Stryker. He states that a win would put him in the “Top 5 Rankings.” They are now having Cabana take things seriously, well more than before.

Dan Maff is shown at home sitting in a chair wearing a neck brace. He talks about facing the Carnage Crew at the first Glory By Honor show and how they both hated each other and at Glory By Honor II, he is still full of hate because of Low Ki injuring him as he has to sit home with a pinched nerve and effects from post-concussion syndrome. He then tells Christopher Daniels that he will beat Samoa Joe for the RoH World Title as he is everything you look for in a leader as he wants Daniels to bring the title back home to the Prophecy. He then pulls out a flip phone as he tells us that Alison Danger will keep him updated all night and he will also give ups updates throughout the show. Maff did okay here but some of the overacting was painful.

We get the first of many memories from the Murphy Rec Center. This is the last show that ever took place here. I am not going to list them all here as they happen because this DVD is almost five hours long due to stuff like this.

Field of Honor
Block B
Jimmy Rave vs. BJ Whitmer

The match starts back and forth as Punk tells us the Field of Honor is not important because he is not in it while telling us Whitmer and Rave are both underwhelming. Whitmer busts out a Saito suplex for two as Levy tells us the winner of this tournament will see their career skyrocket. That was not the case. The crowd chants for Whitmer as he clotheslines Rave for two as Punk continues to rag on both guys, particularly Whitmer. Brainbuster gets two. Whitmer misses a charge as Rave now briefly takes control of the match until Whitmer comes back with a Dragon Suplex. They have a slugfest that Rave wins with a running forearm smash. Rave then hits a DDT on Whitmer on the apron then hits a shining wizard off of the apron. Back inside, Rave hits a hurricarana off of the top rope then works a cross armbreaker. Whitmer breaks free and kicks Rave in the back. Whitmer then hits some soft forearm smashes but Rave comes back with a Cobra Clutch suplex. Rave works the arm then sets Whitmer up top and tries something but Whitmer fights back and hits him with a top rope powerbomb for the win (9:24) **. That finisher was really dangerous. The crowd cheers for both guys.

Thoughts: It got a bit better at the end but the match was dull and it had zero heat. Punk on commentary was the only real highlight. In fact, Punk’s commentary as a whole was one of the few highlights here.



Whitmer is shown out back as he tells us Rave is a tough kid that will make it in “this business” and how the Field of Honor is the start of his rise to the top of RoH. They were trying to push Whitmer here but besides a decent look, he didnt have much else.

AJ Styles questions Rave as to why he had to get fancy at put Whitmer on the top rope instead of working the arm. They are still going with AJ acting as Rave’s mentor.

Samoa Joe talks about destiny and names the others who failed to take the RoH World Title away from him as he questions Daniels if he has what it takes of will he be another victim. After the promo ends, Steve Corino comes in and talks about CM Punk putting him in a match with Raven tonight. Joe said that Punk is “anti-social” and rough around the edges as Corino tells Joe the original plan was for him to be champ and Joe the enforcer as Corino wishes him luck.

Xavier is shown working out wearing nothing but a pair of shorts as Lollipop is checking him out. Looked like the opening scene of a porno film. For those who are unaware, Lollipop was one of the cage dancers that TNA featured during their weekly PPV era.

Field of Honor
Block A
John Walters vs. Xavier

Lollipop is now checking out Xavier at ringside then Alison Danger comes out as well but Xavier tells her to go back to the locker room. The match starts with both guys trading stuff and it came off quite choreographed. The crowd starts a dueling chant as Punk questions if half of Philadelphia is gay because they are not cheering for Lollipop. Xavier sends Walters to the floor with a belly-to-belly suplex then follows him with a 450 as the crowd applauds. Punk makes fun of Levy for liking “New Kids on the Block” then goes back to ragging on Whitmer as Xavier tries some acrobatic stuff that didn’t work as planned. Walters blocks the Cobra Clutch then cuts off Xavier up top and hits him with a lungblower as both men are down. Walters hits a rolling spear that looked odd then they engage in a pinfall reversal sequence. Walters hits the Hurricane DDT for a nearfall. Xavier comes back with a reverse neckbreaker but Walters hits him with a backbreaker shortly after that. Walters picks him up but Xavier kicks him low then rolls him up for the win (10:44) **. Xavier immediately leaves without shaking hands then Walters calls him out and promises he will find out what respects means next time they face off.

Thoughts: They did some nice moves but there was nothing resembling an actual match here, which seems counterproductive for a tournament designed to celebrate traditional wrestling.



The camera follows Xavier backstage as he cannot believe that Walters had the audacity to call him out and that he can fight him anytime, any place.

Christopher Daniels is with Alison Danger as he talks about bringing Joe into Ring of Honor and how a lot of twists and turns have happened since, like him laying out Joe after his first title defense. He then promises to win the title as the promo ends with Corino cutting in and tells Daniels that he is #1 and to go win the world title. Long-winded promo from Daniels and the stuff with Corino comes off confusing more than intriguing.

TJ Wilson vs. Teddy Hart

TJ Wilson is currently Tyson Kidd in the WWE. Hart, who was a couple of weeks removed from a tremendous performance at TNA’s 2003 Super X Cup, got a decent reaction from the crowd. Match starts with both guys squaring off before getting into a slap fight. Neither guy can get the advantage as the keep on ending their sequences with a standoff. Wilson sends Hart into the corner then follows with a big boot that wasn’t even close before choking him out. Hart then takes Wilson down with a drop toehold then works the leg as the crowd applauds. Punk talks about facing Terry Funk tonight as this match is not impressing. Wilson drops Hart on his head with a full nelson suplex as that gets two. Hart comes back and works the leg but Wilson reaches the ropes. Punk continues to talk about Funk as Wilson hits a springboard dropkick then places Hart up top and hits the Lambeau Leap move that Mr. Kennedy used for a nearfall. Hart comes back with an inverted floating DDT then heads up top and hits a swinging DDT to set up for the shooting star press that gets the win (7:42) 3/4*. The fans chat for Teddy after the match. As he heads backstage, Hart blows off Special K’s offer to party after they tell him he is not a high flyer.

Thoughts: Terrible match. I have no clue what they were trying to do for the first six minutes of the match. Hart, fresh off of an incredible performance at the TNA Super X Cup just a few weeks prior, did nothing here except for a shooting star press.



Raven is backstage and talks about selecting Terry Funk as CM Punk’s opponent tonight so he can teach discipline, respect, and intestinal fortitude. Raven then said he is unsure why Punk picked Raven as he has beaten him everytime they face and makes the match “Raven’s Rules.”

Raven’s Rules
Steve Corino w/ Veronica Stevens & Guillotine LeGrande vs. Raven

Stevens is the former Simply Luscious for those wondering. Corino’s ring announcer lists off all the people Corino has beaten over the years in one of the more grandiose ring introductions you will ever see. Although having him stop for a drink of water halfway through was pretty funny. Match starts off with a lot of stalling. Corino hits a few shoulderblocks but Raven fights back and hits a suplex. Corino gets his foot up on a charge then catches Raven with a back elbow smash. Corino chokes out Raven in the corner then they trade chops until Corino gets a thumb in the eye. Suplex gets two. Corino wedges a chair in the corner then whips Raven into it as he spills out to the floor. Corino gets in some weak shots on Raven outside then connects with a flying forearm. Raven ducks a lariat and comes back with a super kick as both men are down. Raven is up first and hits a few clotheslines and a kneelift. Raven gets two with a bulldog as Punk is screaming about how the referee is not doing their job. Raven sets up a chair as he sends Corino into it with a drop toehold but Stevens breaks up the pin. Raven corners Stevens then spanks Stevens as he drapes her over his knee so Punk leaves the booth. Corino puts Raven in the Cobra Clutch in the middle of the ring. Raven is able to get up and ram Corino into the corner then hits the Raven Effect but Punk pulls the referee out of the ring. Raven chases him around but runs into a super kick from Corino, who covers and gets the pin (13:08) **. After the match, Corino & Punk beat on Raven until Corino tells him he doesn’t need his help and slaps Punk across the face. They get into each other’s faces as Punk eventually leaves.

Thoughts: The “Raven’s Rules” stipulation was not needed for the match and the only purpose it served was for the screw job finish, which could have done in a number of other ways. This was wrestled like a mid 80’s WWF house show match, which I guess is why the call Corino “The King of Old School.”



Chris Sabin vs. Colt Cabana vs. Matt Stryker vs. AJ Styles

Punk is back in the booth and asks if he missed anything. The crowd is really into Cabana. Match starts off slow with lots of stalling and feeling each other out. Cabana and Sabin go back and forth until Cabana knocks him off the apron. Cabana then teases a dive but stops before the ropes and ends up hitting a double axe handle from the apron. Back inside, Sabin nearly kills AJ by landing on his head after a spinning heel kick then Cabana missed a top rope splash as everyone rolled out of the way. AJ tags himself in and keeps trying to hit Sabin with a Styles Clash but fails then hits him in the face with a basement dropkick. AJ comes back with a dropkick of his own after a fast Irish whip sequence as Levy notes that Punk will face AJ at the next show. Sabin gets beat on for a while by everyone then Cabana spits at AJ, who responds by throwing his gum at him. Sabin gets placed up top but is able to take Cabana off with a neckbreaker as both men are down. Stryker and AJ tag but AJ goes after Cabana. Sabin hits AJ with an enziguiri then hits some sort of swinging slam as the match finally settles down between the two legal men. Stryker and AJ go back-and-forth then Cabana tags in and stretches out AJ while Punk cant get over the fact that AJ threw his gum like a sissy. AJ is now the one who is in trouble as we learn that Cabana and Sabin will face each other in a Field of Honor match next show. AJ then comes back with a double Phenomenon on Stryker and Sabin as the match breaks down again. Everyone trades moves at a decent pace, including an awesome reverse hurricarana on Cabana courtesy of Sabin. Stryker suplexes AJ but gets grabbed by Cabana. Sabin charges at them but Cabana backdrops him then hits the Colt 45 on Stryker for the win (18:55) **1/2.

Thoughts: The match was formulaic and disappointing considering the competitors. Cabana winning was a bit of a surprise I suppose but that’s all I took away from this match.




Maff is talking to Alison Danger about the show. He tells her to talk to Rob Feinstein about something that he is upset about.

Gary Michael Capetta is with Colt Cabana, who says he has something special planned. However, CM Punk interrupts to talk about Steve Corino briefly then switches topics to Raven and Terry Funk and asks Cabana how it feels to get cut off, as Cabana says it feels weird.

RoH Tag Team Title Gauntlet Match

Carnage Crew & Justin Credible vs. Angel Dust & Deranged & Hydro

For some reason, this match starts off with a six-man “grudge” match due to the strap attack by Special K on these guys from Beating the Odds. However, the winning team will have to reduce to two members. The Special Guys jump the Carnage Crew to start. The Carnage Crew then take control as they beat the shit out Angel Dust. Becky Bayless distracts Credible and after kissing her and Levy making a bunch of whore comments at Becky, Angel Dust takes him off of the apron. Hydro tags as Special K regains control while Levy goes through his usual schtick about Special K spending their parents money on drugs. Deranged puts Credible in a chinlock in what feels like an eternity. Credible finally breaks free as he tags Loc while the crowd is silent. Loc cleans house as the Carnage Crew try to get the crowd going but they seemed burned out. They set up Angel Dust for the spike piledriver but the Special K flunkies run in to break it up. The Carnage Crew then use straps as Deranged gets whacked in the face as the ref rings the bell for the DQ as we learn that the Carnage Crew have been disqualified, despite Special K using blatant outside interference (9:06). This sucked.

Deranged & Hydro vs. Briscoe Brothers 

The Briscoes take control early. Deranged hits a few hurricaranas on Jay but Mark tags and pancakes him. Hydro is in and clotheslines Mark after a fast-paced sequence. Mark then places Hydro up top and hits a springboard Ace Crusher. Deranged runs in and hits a Code Red as this is essentially under scramble rules. Jay tags and hits Hydro with the Jay Driller for the pin as Mark attempted to make it a spike but overshot his springboard dive (11:52). Brief but decent action at least.

Briscoe Brothers vs. Dunn & Marcos

Marcos hits the Sliced Bread #2 as he celebrates but Mark hits him with a springboard dropkick and shortly after that the Briscoes put Dunn away with a springboard Doomsday Device (13:34). Total squash.

Briscoe Brothers vs. Izzy & Dixie

The Briscoes immediately beat on Izzy and Dixie. They focus on Dixie as Levy tells us the winner of this fall will go up against the Backseat Boyz for the title. Dixie rakes the eyes of Mark then tags Izzy as Punk leaves the booth after Levy brought up Lucy and after that Ray Murrow finally enters. Mark comes back with a crossbody as both men are down. Izzy tags but Mark rolls away and makes the tag. Jay runs wild then Mark hits Izzy with a moonsault but Dixie breaks up the pin and the Special K guys pull Jay out of the ring then distract the ref as that allows Izzy to hit Mark with a Blockbuster for the pin (18:50). The ending was a mess but most of it actually resembled a wrestling match at the very least.

Izzy & Dixie vs. Backseat Boyz

The Backseat Boyz pounce on Izzy & Dixie as they hit all sorts of double-team moves. Kashmere takes out Special K with a dive on the outside. Acid tries to dive out but Dixie stops him and flings him off the top in a really pathetic looking spot. Kashmere comes back in and they hit the Dream Sequence but Izzy manages to hit Kashmere with a springboard senton at the end. Acid and Izzy work a fast but sloppy sequence that ends with Izzy hitting an inverted hurricarana for a nearfall. Kashmere gets hit with a double team move then Izzy takes Acid off of the top with a rana. They then signal for the T Gimmick as they try to hit it on Acid but Kashmere spears them both then the Backseat Boyz hit Izzy with the T Gimmick for the win and the Tag Team Titles (22:42) 1/2*. After the match, Dixie breaks up the celebration then takes out the Backseat Boyz with a weak-looking dive to the floor as Special K are beating on the Backseat Boyz but the Briscoes come out for the save then Teddy Hart comes out and hits an insane springboard corkscrew quebrada onto Special K then heads inside to raise the hands of the Backseat Boyz.

Thoughts: I personally couldnt think of a better way to match the Tag Team Titles seem less important than RoH did with this monstrosity of a match. The whole thing was filled with awful action and the end was filled with zero doubt or drama as to who would win. Joke teams like the Special K guys and Ring Crew Express showed the lack of depth and how those teams were essentially unable to even work an actual tag match. I dont know who Dixie was blowing to get his spot on the roster because he was by far the worst in the match. And he was treated as one of the top guys in the Special K stable. The Backseat Boyz did not even look impressive in winning the belts and who do they feud with now? Special K? The Briscoes are the best team but they would seemingly want revenge on Special K, who fucked them over. Not only was the match shit but they dont even have a good tag feud to run with now.






Homicide, who is in Japan, cuts a promo on Low Ki, telling him that he forgot where he came from and that he even trained him so he could be the superstar that he is today. He then tells Ki to come find him in the “projects” as he is pissed for Ki telling him not to bring in “thugs” into Ring of Honor. He then tells Samoa Joe to be ready and will beat his punk-ass, just like he will do to Ki. Now, both Maff and Homicide are looking to go after Ki.

Alexis Laree comes out to cheers as streamers come down from the ceiling. Gary Michael Cappetta wishes her luck as she just signed a Developmental Deal with the WWE. The fans chant “please don’t go” as she looks emotional but Special K’s music interrupts then Joey Matthews, who was in rehab the announcers tell us, comes out and hugs her then clotheslines her down as its revealed he is back with Special K. The Special K guys hold up Alexis as Joey grabs a chair. Slugger comes down and Joey gives him the chair as Hydro tells him to hit Alexis but he gets slapped down as the Special K guys are scared shitless as they leave the ring, dropping Laree to the mat. Julius Smokes runs in and lays out Hijinx as he now have a match between Laree and Hijinx.

Alexis Laree vs. Hijinx


Hijinx wants no part of Alexis, who takes him down with a flying headscissors and a rana as Smokes, who is now the ref apparently, counts to two. Hijinx knocks her down then hits a backbreaker but misses a senton off of the middle rope then after a reversal sequence, Alexis gets the win with a DDT (1:15) 1/4*. After the match, Slugger raises Alexis on her shoulder as the fans applaud.

Thoughts: No idea what the stuff with Smokes and the Rottweilers were about but it was a nice sendoff for Laree.






We get a promo from Jim Cornette, who tells us he is back in Ring of Honor after the Prophecy attacked him at Wrath of the Racket. He tells them that he is back in town. Okay then.

Punk comes out for his match against Terry Funk as he tells us Funk retired for the first time in 1983 and that he could shit on his career and family all night long if he wants but its all been done before. He says that Funk keeps on coming back because he is a “drunk, pilled-up, schizophrenic, multi-personality dickhead.” Punk then says that RoH put him in with a guy who has to take pills to get up in the morning and that he will finally dismantle Punk forever, which is repeats several times. Punk’s mic work has been the only highlight of the show at this point.



CM Punk vs. Terry Funk


The crowd goes nuts for Funk. Match starts with Punk slapping Funk after they shook hands. Funk backs Punk into then corner and breaks cleanly. After an armdrag by Funk, they roll around on the mat and end up outside as Punk retreats. Back in the ring, Punk takes down Funk and grabs a chinlock. Funk reverses it and works a hammerlock on the mat. Funk hits a neckbreaker then follows Punk outside but gets beaten on then Punk grabs the mic and declares this a hardcore match. Funk then roughs him up as they go back inside, where Funk punches him down. They then trade chops outside of the ring but that stops when Punk gets whipped into the guardrail. Funk hits Punk with a chair across the back. Punk then smashes Funks head off of the table then whacks him with the chair as Funk challenges Punk to hit him harder. Punk fires away at Fun, who is caught between the ropes, but Funk fights back and ends up suplexing Punk from the apron and through a table. Funk repeatedly slams Punk’s head on the table then heads back inside and goes for a moonsault but Punk rolls away as both men are down. Funk sells the knee like a champ then Punk goes right on the attack as he targets the knee as Funk calls him a “prick” and a “bastard.” Funk comes back with a stunner but is still in too much pain to follow up with anything as Punk brings him into the middle of the ring and works the leg before putting on the figure four as Punk taunts him. Levy tells us that the referee was warned before the match to not let anything dangerous happen to Funk, who now reverses the hold. Funk rolls outside and has trouble standing as Punk follows him up and rolls Funk back into the ring. Punk then grabs a chair and whacks the injured knee repeatedly then puts on the figure four again as Funk reaches the ropes but Punk pulls him back into the center of the ring to try it again. Funk fights back and eventually puts Punk in the spinning toe hold but Punk takes him down as Punk puts the figure four back on as Levy wants the ref to call the match in order to protect Funk, who reaches the ropes. Punk tries to yank Funk away from the ropes then puts the hold back on and refuses to break the hold as the ref calls for the bell as Funk wins by DQ (15:48) **1/2. Punk still refuses to break the hold as Colt Cabana comes down to tell Punk to break the hold, only to put it on himself and doesnt stop until Raven runs them off. However, Tommy Dreamer stops Cabana in the aisle as they bring him back in the ring as Funk hits him with a stunner. Funk, Dreamer, and Raven all shake hands together as the crowd applauds.

Thoughts: This match was about as good as it could have been but the Dreamer stuff felt all like deja vu and the Raven/Punk feud in general has lost a lot of steam.






RoH World Title
Christopher Daniels w/ Alison Danger vs. Samoa Joe (Champion)


Joe starts the match by drilling Daniels with a kick that almost got the win. Joe continues to rough up Daniels, who eventually comes back with a leg lariat. Daniels gets two with an Arabian Press but Joe knocks him down with a spinning backhand. Joe then destroys Daniels in the corner as the announcers list off all the title defenses Joe has had as he puts Daniels in a Boston Crab. Danger comes in as Joe goes for a face wash but Daniels knocks him to the floor and follows with another Arabian Press. He grabs a chair and sits down Joe as he tries an Ole kick but Joe cuts him off then hits one on Daniels. Joe hits the move again then they head inside where Joe hits the rolling cradle. Daniels comes back with a German suplex as both men are down. Daniels charges but Joe catches him with a powerslam for a nearfall. Daniels then blocks a kick and hits a pair of enziguiris. Daniels fires away then hits a Samoan drop. The crowd is into Daniels here. Daniels then hits a STO then follows with the Best Moonsault Ever but Joe is able to kick out at two. Joe comes back with an STO of his own then knees Daniels in the head. Joe gets a few nearfalls then catches a breather but Daniels comes back with the Koji Clutch but Joe is able to reach the ropes. Daniels gets two with a Blue Thunder Driver. He then places Joe up top and tries a superplex but Joe blocks the move. Daniels is able to take him off with a hurricarana then hits the Angels Wings and covers but Joe kicks out. However, the timekeeper rang the bell as Daniels is in disbelief. Daniels tries for the Last Rites but Joe reverses and takes him down with the Coquina Clutch. Daniels finally makes the ropes but Joe connects with an enziguiri then gets the win with the Island Driver (15:02) ***3/4. The announcers then talk about who will ever be able to beat Joe. Daniels gets a standing ovation once he makes it back up to his feet.

Thoughts: Really good match but not a classic like the announcers made this out to be or anything like that. After the win, Joe now needs someone to feud with.






Maff is shown again as he tells Daniels that he had the match won and everyone knew it too before telling us that he will win the Field of Honor. His final comment is for Low Ki as he tells him that he is a “self-righteous, egotistical son of a bitch” and that he will be back and it will having nothing to do with winning a match as he promises to hurt him as he rips off his neck brace. Good, intense promo from Maff this time but he isnt someone who is worth all this promo time to begin with f you ask me.

Backstage, the Carnage Crew are talking about how they are disrespected every day in their lives before they warn Special K that they will kick their ass.

The Backseat Boyz gloat over the fact that they have won the RoH Tag Team Titles then tell is that they are the best tag team in the world. They then tell us they are going down to Atlantic City to get some hookers, room service, and shrimp.

Colt Cabana is now hosting his own talk show in the Murphy Rec Center hallway as his first guest is Julius Smokes, who is flanked by the Rottweilers. Cabana tries a “the man” joke then asks Smokes introduces us to . Smokes then tells us the Rottweiler Express is coming. A sad attempt at comedy by Colt Cabana.

Final Thoughts: A really disappointing show. It was more dull than horrible I suppose but that is the best I can say about the show as a whole. Besides the main event and Punk, everything else was either forgettable or awful. They are lacking in compelling feuds and the tag team division is complete shit at the moment. They might as well have just put the Briscoes vs. Backseat Boyz for the titles and built off of that because the other teams should be nowhere near a title belt. Also, the Field of Honor stuff has been a major disappointment so far. No one is looking like a breakout star from being a part of this tournament. One of the weaker shows RoH offered in 2003.




Ring of Honor Beating the Odds September 6th, 2003

September 6, 2003

From the Charbonneau Field House in Wakefield, MA

Your hosts are Ray Murrow and Chris Levy

The show starts with CM Punk, alongside Colt Cabana, cuts a promo on Raven. He says that he wants Raven to remember how he is a failure and that he began wrestling so he could get his mission across. He ends by saying he will taken Raven out for good then walks away as Cabana is shown. Cabana says that he is not going to say something funny or talk about how Dunn & Marcos’s mothers wanted to be his groupies as he is serious and going to make a name for himself in the Field of Honor.

Raven is shown backstage telling us the world his filled with kings and queens and heaven and hell. He then informs us that for Punk, heaven is not an option as he welcomes him to his Clockwork Orange House of Fun. Raven then promises to “kill” Punk then finishes off this promo with a maniacal laugh.

Field of Honor Qualifying Match
Block B
Jimmy Rave vs. Colt Cabana

Lively crowd tonight. Cabana starts the match by stalling in the corner. Both guys trade arm wringers as the announcers put over the tournament and the “pure wrestling” aspect. We are now shown footage from before the show of the Backseat Boyz at the gimmick table harassing Gabe Sapolsky and Rob Feinstein then yelling at fans to get out of their way until they run into Julius Smokes and Homicide, who yells at them for being late. The argue as the Carnage Crew are laughing in the background then a brawl breaks out. Homicide then tells Feinstein to stop being a “pussy” and fine those “faggot-ass niggas.” We are finally back to the action as Rave takes down Cabana with an armdrag, with the announcers putting down the Backseat Boyz for unprofessionalism. Cabana challenges Rave to knock him down with a shoulder tackle then trips him up as the crowd applauds. Cabana whips Rave into the corner then puts him in a surfboard as we hear that all of the Field of Honor competitors will have cameras on them in the back at all times. Cabana hits a backdrop and gets two off of that. Rave tries to fight back with chops but keeps getting cut off. Cabana gets two off of a gutwrench powerbomb then catches him in a bearhug a few times. Rave connects with an enziguiri for two but Cabana comes back with a leg drop. Cabana misses a top rope twisting senton as Rave follows up with a shining wizard as both men are down. Rave hits a floating DDT for two then catches him with an armbar off of a springboard. Cabana takes control with a modified version of his Colt 45 then targets the back for a bit. Rave ends up putting Cabana in a crossface but Cabana powers out and hits the Colt 45 for the win (13:06) **.

Thoughts: Not much of a match. It did get better at the end though. The main focus was on Homicide and Acid as their feud is not going away. The secondary focus was on Cabana as his win keeps him going in the tournament as they story with him is that he wants to prove himself as a wrestler and stop acting like a goofball.



Backstage, AJ Styles tells Rave he lost because he went for the arm instead of the neck then gives him some advice. Styles appears to be the mentor for Rave.

Colt is shown as he says he is honor as the doctors and his family and friends told him not to wrestle tonight but he did as he is going to the top.

Diablo Santiago w/ Oman Tortuga vs. Slyk Wagner Brown w/ April Hunter

Before the match, the Outkast Killaz corner Hunter but Brown flipped into the ring to scare them off. Match starts with Santiago jumping Brown from behind. Santtiago kept taunting the crowd as that allowed Brown to hit him with a missile dropkick. Brown then hit a press slam and followed that with a standing moonsault. Santiago goes outside as Brown sends him into the guardrail with a baseball slide. Back inside, Santiago works over the back of Brown then they fuck up a super kick spot that missed by a mile but Brown sold anyway. Santiago gets two with a bridging slam but misses a diving headbutt as both men are down. Brown wins a slugfest then hits some sort of half-assed Thesz Press for two. Catatonic slam gets two. Santiago comes back with another bridging suplex as he is now bleeding from his nose. Brown almost botches a float over then catches Santiago with a sitout powerbomb for the win (4:19) 1/4*. After the match, Tortuga tells Brown they are not down and that Hunter was checking him out all match. Tortuga then Hunter to come with him then gets attacked in a sequence to show off Hunter, who was probably bigger than Tortuga anyway.

Thoughts: This match sucked. The point was to get Brown and Hunter over but Brown was a bad wrestler and did a ton of flips in the match for some reason. Hunter got over a bit for beating on the Outkast Killaz as they seem to be building up to a match between the four.



Scramble Match
Dunn & Marcos vs. Izzy & Dixie w/ Special K vs. SAT’s vs. Backseat Boyz

We are informed that Homicide & Julius Smokes are “tearing” up the locker room due to the Backseat Boyz being here tonight. This starts off the same as every other scramble match with guys pairing off and going at rapid speed. One cool move was when Joel countered a tarantula from Izzy with an Alabama Slam. Less blown spots than usual here too. Izzy busts out a few cool hurricaranas here as well. Dunn & Marcos hit a nice version of the Demolition Decapitation on Dixie for two. The match breaks down with the SAT’s botching a double-team move as they are incapable of having a match without at least one. The announcers talk about the Tag Team Title situation due to the Amazing Red’s injury and how Gary Michael Capetta will address that later tonight. THe match breaks down again as Kashmere takes out almost everyone with a senton. In the ring, Joel and Izzy take turns kicking each other then climb up top where Joel takes Izzy off with a Spanish Fly to the floor on top of everyone, drawing a “holy shit” chant form the crowd. They head back inside as the action breaks down again until Acid hits Joel with a high knee for the win (8:44) **1/4.

Thoughts: These tag scramble matches were really tiresome. The only team worth a shit was the Backseat Boyz as the others were probably incapable of wrestling an actual tag match. Despite all of that, this was more cool moves and less botched spots than usual, making it a bit entertaining at least.



Field of Honor
Block A
Matt Stryker vs. John Walters

Both guys feel each other out to start. They battle over a test-of-strength then trade moves until Walters stretches out Stryker in the ropes. Stryker takes a breather then re-enters as he takes down Walters and works a front facelock. They end in a stalemate as the crowd applauds then Walters works the arm. Stryker takes him down with a dragon screw and works the leg briefly before putting on the Stryker Lock. Walters is able to make it to the ropes then Stryker goes back to working the leg. Walters knee gives out as he was Irish whipped into the ropes then Stryker grapevines the leg. Stryker is unable to put Walters away then gets caught with a lungblower as Walters continues to sell his leg. Walters is up first and eventually hits his Hurricane DDT for a nearfall. Stryker comes back with rolling German Suplexes then takes him down and tries to work the leg but Walters crawled over to the ropes. Walters comes back with a La Magistral then lifts him up for a  chokeslam and drops him across his knee for a backbreaker. They have a reversal sequence that ends with Stryker getting a nearfall with a German suplex. Walters tries to hit Stryker with a powerbomb but his leg gave out as Stryker fell on top of him for the win (12:38) **3/4. After the match, Walters grabs the mic and tells us that he has been wrestling in the area for three years and talks about having pride and wanting to win before shaking Stryker’s hand.

Thoughts: Above-average match but I still dont really care about either one of these guys. Walters selling of the leg was questionable at times and his promo after the match was extremely long-winded. Stryker is a fine technical wrestler but had no personality or even a decent look and would be best served in a jobber role.



Homicide interrupts Feinstein as he is eating wanting to fight Trent Acid tonight, even giving up his title shot. Feinstein tells him he can make it happen.

Hydro & Deranged & Angel Dust vs. Carnage Crew & Justin Credible

The Special Guys are freaking out over the fact they have to fight these guys. Match starts with Loc getting the best of Hydro as the announcers put over the Homicide vs. Trent Acid match that will take place later tonight. Credible works over Angel Dust then kisses Becky Bayless as the announcers crack jokes about her being a whore. He then hits Angel Dust with several rolling suplexes as the crowd goes nuts. Deranged and DeVito are now in the ring as Deranged hits him low then hammers away in the corner. DeVito fights back and takes him down with a dropkick. Outside, Special K yell at Slugga and order him into the ring. He heads in as Loc slaps him in the face then chops away. Loc hits him low but gets caught with a reverse chokeslam as Angel Dust runs in and grabs a headlock. The Special K guys are now beating on Loc and that goes on for a bit until he hits Angel Dust with a backdrop driver then tags Credible, who runs wild. The match breaks down as all three Special K get whipped into each other. Carnage Crew hits Deranged with a Splash Mountain/Neckbreaker combo but Slugger makes the save on the pin attempt as the match breaks down again. Slugger holds up the Carnage Crew for Angel Dust and Hydro, who accidentally hit him with missile dropkicks that Slugger did not even know how to sell correctly. Credible takes Slugga down with a super kick then grabs Bayless and pulls her onto the apron after she tried to trip him but Deranged breaks that up then hits Credible with a spin kick for two. The match breaks down again as all we hear is Julius Smokes yelling at Slugga, asking him to follow him as he agrees with both guys heading to the back. Hydro and Angel dust take out the Carnage Crew with dives, leaving Deranged and Credible in the ring. They battle up top where Credible takes him off with a tombstone piledriver from the middle rope and gets the win (15:32) *1/2. After the match, DeVito destroys Hijinx with a chair then they drag Bayless into the ring for the spike piledriver but Credible prevents them as he asks for the tables as the Carnage Crew put her through the table from the apron with the spike piledriver. DeVito can barely walk after the move.

Thoughts: This feud looks like it will continue but this match really fell apart the last couple of minutes. It turned into a disaster. DeVito seemed to hurt himself putting Bayless through the table but still managed to really protect her with the move. Slugga has now apparently joined up with Smokes and Homicide as Special K is without their muscle.



Gary Michael Cappetta is backstage with some updates. He tells us that Low Ki has fractured his jaw during a recent tour of Japan and will be out indefinitely. Also, the Amazing Red will be out as he is undergoing surgery for an ACL injury as the Ring of Honor will have a Tag Team Gauntlet Series that will begin next show at Glory By Honor II when new Tag Team Champions will be crowned. He then brings out the Briscoe Brothers as Mark tells us that they are young and unsure what they want to do with their lives but now they want to win the Tag Team Titles. Cappetta tells us that Mark will face BJ Whitmer tonight and that Jay will take part in the four-way match, with the winner getting a title shot. After that, the SAT’s ask the Briscoes why they hurt Red, thinking that they were boys. The Briscoes tell them they were just trying to win the match. Christ, that was an awkward exchange. Jay improved by leaps and bounds in his promo skills while the other three have not.

Mark Briscoe vs. BJ Whitmer

The crowd chants for Briscoe as Whitmer has him in a headlock. Briscoe comes back with a spinning heel kick then grounds Whitmer as the announcers put over how much of an upset it would be if Briscoe won this match. Briscoe gets a nearfall with a crossbody but Whitmer fights back. He hits a gutbuster that gets two then works a surfboard. The announcers are trying way too hard to put Whitmer over by pretending that he has had all sorts of incredible matches. Well, you can say that many other guys in this company too. Whitmer beats on Briscoe outside of the ring as he targets the ribs. Back inside, Whitmer gets another nearfall with a gutbuster. He locks on an abdominal stretch but Briscoe counters with a hip toss. Whitmer goes back on offense after Briscoe missed an elbow drop as he continues to target the ribs. Whitmer sends Briscoe to the floor with a hiptoss but Briscoe is able to cut him off on a dive to the outside. Briscoe suplexes Whitmer onto the floor then flies out with a shooting star press as the crowd starts a “holy shit” chant. Briscoe repeatedly whips Whitmer into the guardrail then heads back inside, hitting a springboard dropkick for two. Briscoe then catches him with a uranage after a reversal sequence but that only gets two. Whitmer comes back with a superplex but that is not enough to get the win. Dragon suplex gets two. Briscoe comes back with an exploder for a nearfall. Whitmer then hits an exploder of his own after a reversal sequence but that is not enough for the win. They now battle up top where Briscoe takes him off with a belly-to-belly that looked really sloppy but it was enough for the win (13:50) **3/4.

Thoughts: Another match that was above-average but hurt again by a lack of psychology as they kept on hitting a ton of big moves then ended it with something that looked less painful than most of what they were doing to each other. The ending was also anti-climatic, which is a bad sign as you cannot build to a finish in a match that lasted almost fourteen years long. Still, Briscoe was just a teenager and was wrestling at a level far above most with the same experience. I also felt that the announcers gave away the finish with how they constantly talked up Whitmer and how much of an upset it would be if Briscoe won.






Feinstein is backstage asking the fans if they have any information about the attack on Lucy at the “Wrath of the Racket” show. If you do, send it to the company website.

Trent Acid w/ Johnny Kashmere vs. Homicide w/ Julius Smokes 


Before the match begins the camera cuts to Raven in the locker room, who is breathing heavily, as he tells Punk he will kill him. We are back to the action as these two go back and forth at a quick pace. Acid cuts off Homicide with a kick on a dive attempt then suplexes him onto the floor. Acid pulls the guardrail forward and asks the fans to move back then takes out Homicide with a quebrada. They go back and forth again then Homicide tosses Acid into the guardrail as he was in midair and holy shit did that look like it hurt. He places Acid on a chair then flies out and hits him with a tope con hilo. The action heads back into the ring as Homicide destroys Acid in the corner. He sends Acid to the floor with a running knee smash as they play up that Acid has an eye injury as he is bleeding. A dazed Acid heads back inside where Homicide goes back on offense. Acid is able to come back with a missile dropkick then hits a flurry of moves but remains dazed. Homicide hits a T-Bone suplex for a nearfall but Acid comes back with a low blow then brings a chair inside as the ref is tied up with Smokes. Acid takes him off of the top with a Backseat Driver as Homicide’s head whacks the edge of the chair. Ouch! Now they trade Yakuza kicks until Acid knocks him down but that only gets one as they go at it again until both men are down as the crowd goes nuts. Homicide blocks a kick then takes Acid down with a Dragon Screw before locking on the STF. Acid makes the ropes but Homicide puts the hold back on as Acid once again is able to make it to the ropes. Acid knocks Homicide down with a forearm smash as his nose is pouring blood. Acid waits up top but Homicide knocks him down then hits a Super Ace Crusher for two as Kashmere interrupts the pin. Smokes chases him around until Acid takes him out. Acid catches Homicide with another Yakuza kick as he was chasing Kashmere but that is not enough to put him away. Homicide breaks up a sleeper with a low blow then is able to hit the Cop Killa after failing previously and that is enough for the win (15:00) ***1/2. After the match, everyone shakes hands as the fans start an “R-O-H” chant.

Thoughts: Wild match. These two beat the crap out of each other and earned their paychecks with this performance. The next logical step is to have the rubber match to their feud. Acid looked like someone who could have been a star but drugs ruined that among other things.






Christopher Daniels is shown with Allison Danger talking about destiny. This is shot in black-and-white. Danger is holding up the ECWA Title. Daniels says that his goal has always been to be the Ring of Honor champion but he will not be here tonight as he is defending the ECWA title. Daniels closes by telling Samoa Joe that he is the only thing standing in his way and says that at “Glory By Honor II” he will fulfill his destiny by winning the title. I’ll say it before and I will say it again, the Fallen Angel gimmick held Daniels back. It came off too corny for someone positioned near the top of the card.

Four Corners Survival Match
Chris Sabin vs. Jay Briscoe vs. AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe


The rules for this are as follows: Winner gets a title shot in the future. However, if Joe wins, the loser will not get a title match as long as Joe is the champion. Sabin and Briscoe start off the match as they work a decent little sequence that ends in a standoff. AJ and Joe tag in as now the NWA-TNA and RoH champs are in the ring but Sabin tags himself in and tries to attack AJ but fails. Sabin tags Joe, who starts kicking Joe. AJ then bails and tags Briscoe, who gets knocked down a few times. AJ tags back in as Briscoe catches him with a powerslam as all four guys keep tagging in and out until the match breaks down until everyone ends up in a standoff. That looked far to contrived and the crowd didnt care at all. Joe and Briscoe take turns beating on Sabin for a bit until he comes back with a catatonic backbreaker. Joe tags and puts Briscoe in a Boston Crab that looked painful as AJ breaks up the move. Now we are at the point where the guys all break up submission holds so they can have a chance to win a title shot. Briscoe is taking a beating here as he is getting put in all sorts of submission holds. He rolls away from a splash attempt by Sabin and finally makes the tag as AJ clotheslines Sabin to the floor. Joe takes him outside with an enziguiri then hits him with the ole kick. He tries it again but Sabin spears Joe then gets drilled with a super kick by AJ. All three guys outside brawl until Briscoe takes them out with a senton. In the ring, Briscoe chops Joe in the corner. Joe plants a charging Briscoe with an uranage. Joe follows with a powerbomb then locks on an STF but Briscoe reaches the ropes. AJ is in and messes up the Phenomenon but still gets two. The match breaks down as Sabin hits the Future Shock for two then Briscoe hits him with a Splash Mountain. Joe uses a rolling cradle on Briscoe that AJ breaks up at two. AJ botches a springboard move but salvages it somewhat by making it a leg drop. AJ then hits Sabin with a Styles Clash after a reversal sequence but Joe breaks it up then everyone takes turns kicking each other as the match has broked down again. AJ and Joe hit Sabin with a double enziguiri then Briscoe swoops in and hits Sabin with the Jaydriller and gets the win as the other two were unable to break up the pin (21:15) ***1/4.

Thoughts: Good match but nothing to write home about or anything. Briscoe winning was a surprise as they put over both of them strongly on this show. With the news of the new Tag Team Champions being crowned next show, it seems like they have put the Briscoes and Backseat Boyz at the top tier of teams.



Cappetta is with Justin Credible as they are fielding questions from the crowd. Some clown asks him if “Bret really fucked Sunny” then Credible said that he did then follows that he is just telling them what they want to hear.  After that, Special K jumps him from behind until the Carnage Crew make the save but they also end up getting beat down.  We can see the crew put together the cage as this is happening.






Clockwork Orange House of Fun Match
CM Punk vs. Raven


They fight over a lockup as Cabana is now ringside. Raven whacks Punk with a trashcan then chokes him out with a chain as Punk is already busted open and now wearing a crimson mask as Raven is ramming him into the cage. Punk is able to now send Raven into the cage as he now takes control of the match. Punk whacks Raven with a shovel then opens him up some more with punches to the forehead. He now uses the garbage can as the announcers tell us that Punk and Raven will pick opponents for each other as Raven has selected Terry Funk to face Punk at “Glory By Honor II” as Punk selected Steve Corino for Raven, who comes back with a DDT as Cabana breaks that up by tossing a chair at him. Raven runs over to him but gets the door slammed in his face. Punk comes back with a DDT but that just gets two. Raven whacks Punk with a chair a few times but is unable to put him away. He sets up a table but Punk hits him low and lays him across the table then heads to the top of the cage. Raven gets up and meets him there as they trade punches until Punk gets tossed off and through the table. Raven climbs down and but Punk is just able to kick out. Raven then hits a super kick then sets him on the top rope as he puts Punk through the table with the Raven Effect and gets the win (11:45) ***1/2. After the match, the lights go out and when they turn back on Raven is shown tied-up to a giant “X” with barbed-wire draped over his neck as Cabana is also in the ring. Punk grabs the mic and that while Raven had won this battle he will not win the war. Punk then leaves as the referees

Thoughts: Good match. These guys bled all over the place and the hype delivered for the most part, although you would have expected this match to last longer. With Raven winning the battle and Punk getting his heat back, this feud will continue. Punk looks like more of a star after each show. His character was awesome.






Joe talks about Daniels talking about his destiny of winning the RoH title as he talks about always being the bully and never the underdog as Daniels’ destiny is to get choked out and dropped on his head by him. He closes by saying that he is “pro wrestling.”

Final Thoughts: Solid show. Some of the undercard was garbage but the main storylines are going strong and they appear to be doing more with the tag division than scramble matches with the announcement that new champions will be crowned. Punk/Raven remains the hottest feud but they built up the Briscoes, Homicide, and the Backseat Boyz tonight. The Field of Honor hasnt really impressed all that much to be honest with Cabana the central part of that storyline. All in all, the promotion has more positives and negatives at the moment and I look forward to each show.

Thunder – September 30, 1999

Thunder
Date: September 30,
1999
Location:
UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 2,411
Commentators: Mike
Tenay, Larry Zbyszko
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
Thankfully
this is another live Thunder (well liveish. It’s airing at about
11pm due to a baseball game but at least it’s not the second show of
a taping) which tends to be a lot easier to sit through (not good
mind you) than the dreaded taped versions. It’s still about the old
guys fighting over backstabbing and lying or Goldberg crushing Sid’s
car because Sid is still a major thing in WCW for whatever reason.
Let’s get to it.

Long intro to start
with Tenay and Zbyszko talking about people who won’t be appearing on
this show.
Psychosis/La
Parka/Juventud Guerrera vs. Villano IV/Villano V/Silver King
This
is Psychosis’ first match since losing the mask. La Parka tells
Silver King to get out of his way so dance time but King channels his
inner villain from Footloose and kicks him in the face. An elbow to
the jaw staggers La Parka again but Silver King accidentally hits his
partners, causing a bit of a flare up. It’s off to IV and Psychosis
with the unmasked one scoring with a dropkick.
There’s no other way to
put this: Psychosis has a weird face. It looks like it needs to be
stretched another few inches to make it fit properly. Anyway he
rolls out of a tilt-a-whirl slam and chops away at IV before whipping
him into a springboard dropkick from Guerrera. A powerslam gets two
for Juvy before it’s off to V for a dropkick. Not exactly the most
thrilling stuff at the moment.
King comes back in and
grabs a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two on Psychosis before just
kicking him in the face. Back to Five for a pretty sweet top rope
DDT before King comes back in for the same, only not from the top. A
double gutbuster has Psychosis in even more trouble but La Parka
comes in to take one of them out.
Everything breaks down
and La Parka hits a nice corkscrew dive over the top to take out the
Villanos and Juvy, leaving King to lay out Psychosis in the ring.
The Villanos come back in and accidentally nail King (never hire
villains to do a partner’s job), allowing La Parka to take out IV.
Juvy Driver to V, setting up the guillotine legdrop from Psychosis
for the pin.
Rating:
C-.
Not bad here but at the end of the day, the Villanos and Silver King
aren’t the most thrilling guys in the world. It’s amazing how far
Guerrera has fallen in quality as he used to be right there with
Kidman and Mysterio but now he’s just kind of there. The division
has fallen on hard times since Mysterio forgot he was a cruiserweight
and started hanging out with Konnan.
Adrian Byrd vs.
Norman Smiley
Smiley
easily wrestles him down to start but walks into a dropkick. A right
hand just gets on Norman’s nerves so he hits the spinning slam and
loads up his dance. Not the Big Wiggle but it’s better than nothing.
There’s something hilarious about that move and I think it’s due to
Norman’s face as he does it.
Byrd
comes back with a series of punches and counters a monkey flip
attempt with a cradle for two. A suplex and slam get two each on
Norman and we hit the chinlock. This is more offense than I was
expecting from Byrd boy. Smiley easily fights up and hits a nice
butterfly suplex, followed by the Norman’s Conquest for the win.
Rating:
D+.
Much like most matches like this one I’m not sure what there is to
say about it. Smiley got beaten up for a bit and then came back with
some implied male rape involved. I could have gone for a bigger push
for Norman as he was clearly over and talented but he got stuck in
the stupid hardcore thing soon after this.
Gene
brings out Mona for a chat. He praises her for her record in WCW,
which is something like 5-1 or so. Mona brings up all the people
she’s fought and is looking forward to new competition. Yeah there
were some shenanigans last week, but you have to just keep going.
Brandi Alexander sneaks up on her and chokes Mona with a gown. A
suplex on the floor sets up a match that was scheduled for later in
the night.
Mona vs. Brandi
Alexander
Mona
is a bit shaken up but gets an early two off a cross body. A
jawbreaker drops her though and the fans aren’t thrilled. Brandi
takes Mona’s glove off for more choking, followed by some hair
pulling. Apparently there are some new matches for Halloween Havoc.
We won’t be hearing what they are at the moment, but those matches
have indeed been set up. Brandi kicks her in the ribs before choking
and kicking at the ribs even more. I can see why she isn’t exactly a
household name.
A bad looking backslide
gets two for Mona and she gets poked in the eye to put her right back
down. To give you an idea of her offensive skills, Brandi gets two
off a suplex and hiptoss. Brandi misses an enziguri but Mona can’t
get an Indian deathlock. She can however hit a Thesz press and right
hands before a side slam gets two. Mona was even nice enough to get
off of her before Brandi rolled her shoulder up. A handspring elbow
crushes Alexander in the corner, setting up a top rope Frankensteiner
for the pin.
Rating:
D+.
Brandi is just not very good. It also doesn’t help that she isn’t
the best looking woman in the world and when you had Trish Stratus
debuting in the WWF a few months after this, there really was no
reason for this division to exist. I use the word division loosely
as I don’t think there are more than three or four girls in the
company at the moment.
Ad
for Flair and Hogan VHS’s.
Dean Roll vs.
Frankie Lancaster
You
probably know Roll better as Shark Boy. Feeling out process to start
with Frankie nailing a shoulder and grabbing a headlock. Frankie
easily takes him down and cranks on the leg before hitting a flip
splash to the knee. A legdrop gets two on Dean but here’s Scott
Norton to beat up both guys for the no contest.
Norton
wants Goldberg and apparently we’ve flashed back to 1998.
After a break, Goldberg
comes out to accept the challenge and tells Sid that the clock is
ticking. Somehow this took nearly three minutes.
Hugh Morrus/Brian
Knobbs vs. Dave Taylor/Steven Regal
Finlay
is here with the Brits. Regal hammers on Morrus to start and fires
off some European uppercuts. Off to Knobbs for the Pit Stop and
Regal’s face is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in years.
Taylor comes in due to Regal’s stomach ailments but eats a bunch of
headbutts from Knobbs. Dave gets a Pit Stop of his own which ticks
him off so much that he stops a charging Knobbs with a boot in the
corner. Finlay tries to swing a chair at Knobbs but gets cut off by
security and ejected. Well there goes the best part of the match.
The
distraction lets Taylor get in a flag shot to Knobbs before sending
him into the steps. Regal gets in some knee lifts before Taylor
slaps on a front facelock. The Brits keep up the fast tags and
Taylor hammers away with uppercuts and right hands in the corner. A
chinlock has Knobbs in trouble but Regal runs into an elbow in the
corner. The hot tag brings in Morrus (are the First Family the faces
here?) and everything breaks down. Knobbs hits a kind of pumphandle
slam on Taylor, setting up No Laughing Matter for the pin.
Rating:
D+.
Who was I supposed to be cheering for in this match? The First
Family has never shown any reason for me to like them but they were
certainly acting like the faces in this match. Then again, Knobbs is
WCW’s definition of a legend and therefore I’m sure we’re supposed to
cheer for them.
Here’s
the Revolution to talk about Shane cheating recently. Saturn tells
Douglas that this team lives by a code of ethics and if he tries that
one more time then he’s out of the group. Douglas apologizes and
says you can’t stop greatness.
Bobby
Eaton vs. Luther Biggs
They
bring someone as good as Eaton back for THIS? Luther is Coach Buzz
Sawyer’s protege if you’ve blocked this out of your memory. Biggs
throws him out of the corner to start and drop toeholds him down into
a headlock. Back up and Bobby hiptosses him to the floor so Stern
can give him a pep talk. Back in and Biggs gets in a knee to the
ribs to take over again but takes WAY too long going to the middle
rope for a legdrop. Eaton hammers away but gets dropped by a
shoulder. The coach and student start jawing though, allowing Bobby
to ram them together and grab a quick neckbreaker for the pin.
Rating:
F.
THAT’S what I sat through all those stupid promos for? A four minute
match with Bobby Eaton getting the pin? Eaton is a great guy but was
there any real need for this match to take place? Biggs is a stupid
character and Sawyer isn’t much better. Bad match, bad idea, bad
execution, bad use of someone as good as Eaton.
Stern
dives in post match, which makes me think he missed a cue. Stern
puts both of them in a full nelson and yells at Biggs as they leave.
Brad
Armstrong vs. Horace Hogan
I
can easily live with people like Eaton and Armstrong getting more TV
time, but could they be against each other instead of in these
matches? Brad takes Horace down with ease but gets thrown across the
ring and kicked in the gut. An armbar doesn’t get Brad anywhere as
Horace kicks him down again, only to miss a running elbow. Brad
hammers away in the corner and dropkicks him out to the floor.
That
goes nowhere so Horace goes back to just kicking him before throwing
Brad outside. Tenay actually brings up one of the matches at
Halloween Havoc: Hart vs. Luger. Oh sorry I mean the Total Package,
who is totally different from the Total Package Lex Luger. Horace
keeps up the bad offense and drops Armstrong with a clothesline. A
suplex gets two on Brad but he avoids a charge in the corner and hits
the Russian legsweep for the pin.
Rating:
D.
Geez how did they manage to make Brad Armstrong and Bobby Eaton
boring in the same night? Horace is just a big lug who doesn’t get
anywhere and this really didn’t make me want to see Armstrong vs.
Berlyn. Then again, offering me a million bucks to sit through that
match wouldn’t make me want to see it. I’d do it of course but I
wouldn’t want to.
Kendall
Windham/Curly Bill vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman
Oh
come on now. Rey and Kendall get things going with Mysterio
hammering away but diving into a boot to the face. A springboard
seated senton gets two on Windham but he comes back with a kick to
the ribs and slam to put Rey back down. Kendall hits a few
clotheslines and slams him down one more time before getting two off
a belly to back suplex.
Off
to Curly (see it’s funny because he’s bald) for a suplex and some
elbow drops and a suplex before he throws Rey outside. Back in with
Rey hitting a springboard missile dropkick and making the tag to
Kidman, who is promptly nailed by a clothesline from Windham. A
belly to back superplex gets two on Kidman with Rey making the save
and it’s back to the floor because the heels don’t know how to keep a
match going for more than fifteen seconds.
Hennig
gets in some cheap shots before throwing him back inside for chops
from Kendall. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Kidman fights up
with a jawbreaker and Bodog, setting up the double tag. Rey cleans
house and Kidman just stops running to counter an Irish whip. So you
can’t Irish whip Kidman either? Kidman launches Rey into a seated
senton to Kendall before Curly gets in some cheap shots. He goes up
top for no other reason than to have Rey nail him and hook a top rope
Frankensteiner for the pin, just like in the women’s match.
Rating:
D.
Egads just disband the cowboys already. Without Hennig or Barry in
there to run things, the team is exposed for the horrible workers
they are and that’s never a good thing. Bad match here with Kidman
and Rey being wasted on another horrible team, though to be fair
they’re still light years ahead of the Clowns.
Goldberg vs. Scott
Norton
Norton
still has an NWO logo on his singlet. Goldberg wins a slugout to
start and punches him over the top rope. They hammer on each other
again with Norton chopping him backwards and sending Goldberg face
first into the post. Goldberg sends him right back into the post
before they get back in the ring to keep hitting each other very
hard. A hard short arm clothesline drops Goldberg again but both
guys try flying shoulders at the same time for an awkward looking
collision. Back up and it’s spear into Jackhammer for the pin.
Rating:
D+.
This was Norton’s last match in WCW and I can’t say I’m going to miss
him. It’s just a bunch of power brawling with limited selling and
you can only sacrifice small people to him to set up another Goldberg
loss so many times. Basically he’s a short version of Sid with a
bigger chest and no one needs another Sid.
Overall
Rating:
F.
Did I mention this show was on around midnight and WCW knew no one
was going to watch it? The wrestlers clearly didn’t care and it’s
very telling how bad these stories are as we head into Halloween
Havoc. It’s also incredibly clear that this is the most top loaded
company in a long time as outside of the main event, there is NOTHING
interesting going on right now, and the main event is some of the
dullest stuff in years. Bad show that didn’t need to exist, which is
the case with almost every episode of this show.

Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Nitro – September 27, 1999

Monday Nitro #207
Date: September 27,
1999
Location: Phillips
Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 11,919
Commentators: Tony
Schiavone, Bobby Heenan
Reviewed by Tommy Hall

It’s time to continue
into this downward spiral that Nitro has become. Tonight they have a
major six man tag with Hogan/Hart/Flair teaming up to face
Luger/Sting/Page. Keep that in mind. This is one of the few times
that the show has set up a major match a week in advance and actually
hyped it up. I’ll come back to that later. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan
arriving in a limo to sign autographs for fans. Sting sneaks up on
him and speaks in a kid’s voice for a distraction. Hogan, ever the
genius, falls for it and gets hit in the knee with the ball bat.
They’re changing the main event aren’t they?
Quick recap of last
week’s major events.
The announcers preview
the show and oh man Heenan does not sound good. This could be a long
night.
Tenay tries to talk to
Hogan but Hulk gets inside anyway.
Sting says he isn’t
done with Hogan tonight.
Before
the first match, Heenan goes on a RANT, ripping into WCW for being a
mess and telling him how to talk. From now on the Brain is back and
he isn’t putting up with this nonsense. That’s quite out of nowhere.
TV
Title: Ernest Miller vs. Chris Benoit
The
ring looks WAY bigger tonight for some reason. Like bigger than a
modern WWE ring. Cat is challenging after asking for a title shot
and doing his usual schtick. Benoit chops away to start and Miller
immediately bails to the floor. Back in and Chris misses a charge
into the corner and things slow down. Miller has “Godfather” on
his tights. I would make a joke about that being a lawsuit but it
probably was at this point. More kicking and choking ensues as
Miller is rapidly running out of offense to go through. A sunset flip
gets two for the champ but he walks into another superkick.
For a change of pace,
Sonny gets in some kicks on the floor. The lack of Revolution backup
tells you all you need to know about Miller and Onoo’s standings.
Back in and Benoit ducks the Feliner and scores with a clothesline,
only to have Sonny try a choke. Even the referee doesn’t think
enough of Miller to make it a DQ. Miller’s loaded shoe kicks Onoo by
mistake and it’s the German suplex followed by the Swan Dive and
Crossface to retain the title.
Rating:
D+.
It’s nice to see Benoit get a win and for the TV Title to be defended
as it was intended to be for years. Miller losing is always a fun
thing to see, which really does make him decent as a heel. Yeah he’s
annoying and limited in the ring, but the point of a heel is to see
them get what’s coming to them, and that’s what you saw here.
Nothing great but an acceptable match that the fans could get into.
Sid has chokeslammed
and powerbombed a lot of people.
Vampiro vs. Buff
Bagwell
Thank
goodness the Clowns are gone. Buff, now minus the mustache, takes a
kick to the face early on and Vampiro stomps away a lot. In the vein
of Ernest Miller, Vampiro goes up top for a kick this time to really
vary up his offense. Bagwell finally starts going with a monkey flip
before nailing him with a clothesline. Vampiro’s hurricanrana is
countered with a powerbomb and they head outside with Vampiro sending
him into the steps.
A
chinlock goes nowhere as Heenan rips into Bagwell for the new facial
hair. Buff fights up but walks into the Nail in the Coffin, which is
just a regular move now. Vampiro misses a guillotine legdrop and
Buff starts his comeback, only to walk into an enziguri. They head
to the corner for a superplex but Buff shoves him off and hits the
Blockbuster for the pin. So NOW Buff’s face push starts and will
take him up the card right?
Rating:
D.
These lower midcard matches are death for Nitro. There’s no reason
for them to be taking place, they don’t go anywhere, and the best
part about them are Heenan’s rants about how stupid so much of this
stuff is. That being said, I’ll take this a hundred times in a row
over the Clowns in the ring again.
The
announcers talk about Goldberg for a bit and we hear a voice (which
sounds quite a bit like Dustin Rhodes) call out to Tony. There’s a
window shown and the voice says the darkness is coming. Well if the
best it can do is go after Tony Schiavone, it won’t be lasting long.
And
now, to a funeral parlor for the funeral of Lex Luger. As in the guy
in the main event tonight. He’s laying in a casket but his ghost
appears to describe himself as a great man and a great champion. We
cut to a cemetery and a woman in black, presumably Elizabeth, throws
flowers into a grave. It’s off to the arena with the woman in black
being revealed as Elizabeth of course. She comes to the ring to
reveal Lex Luger, who is officially renamed as the Total Package.
Same guy and the same gear, but now he doesn’t have wrist tape.
Literally, identical other than the tape.
Hogan is having his
knee looked at when Sting comes in and nails him with the bat again.
Dean
Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
Douglas
tells Dean to take care of this guy but Dean doesn’t want “his kind
of help”. Saturn and Benoit are cool with this decision and leave
but Shane gives a look that says “well screw you then.” Mysterio
sends the Animals to the back and we get a one on one match. They
start fast as you would expect by trading shoulders and armdrags into
a standoff for one of the best exchanges WCW has had in months.
Malenko
is sent to the apron and they head up top for a crash out to the
floor. Back in and Rey escapes a reverse suplex into a rollup for
two but his springboard hurricanrana attempt is countered in a big
sitout powerbomb. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two and the
Cloverleaf goes on, but we need to watch Rick Steiner and Sid arrive.
Mysterio gets to the ropes and grabs a crucifix for the fast pin
before Sid can come out and ruin another good match.
Rating:
B-.
Of course this match doesn’t get any time because we need to see
Hogan getting hit in the knee again because once wasn’t enough.
Again, when you just have the talented wrestlers wrestling, the show
gets so much easier to sit through. I could have watched another ten
minutes of this but that’s simply not allowed in WCW.
Malenko
shakes his hand post match and leaves as a good sport.
Goldberg vs. Hugh
Morrus
Time
for an anniversary match. After the full on entrance, Goldberg busts
out a very good looking dropkick and a superkick to send Morrus out
to the floor. A hard whip sends Morrus into the steps and Goldberg
takes him back inside for a powerslam. Heenan continues to be a huge
Goldberg fan, even now that the filter is off. Jimmy tries to offer
a distraction and Hugh sends Goldberg outside, allowing Sid to sneak
in for a chair shot to the back.
A top rope elbow gets
two for Morrus but he’s a bit shaken up from the impact. Stomping
and choking ensues as Goldberg’s leg is bleeding. Morrus slams
Goldberg to quickly stop a comeback bid and loads up No Laughing
Matter. In a repeat of Goldberg’s first match, he kicks out at two
and hits the usual for the pin.
Rating:
C.
This was far better than I was expecting, even though it wasn’t all
that great of a match. The Sid stuff is already old but at least
they’re pointing at something instead of just having him beat up
random luchadors. Morrus was good for a decent match when he needed
to pull one off, which is why he wound up with his upcoming punny
name.
Goldberg
wants Sid.
An ambulance leaves the
arena, presumably with Hogan inside.
More Nitro Girls Search
stuff with good looking women who still aren’t Stacy Keibler.
Evan Karagias vs.
Berlyn
Penzer
reminds us that the fans are not to make any noise during Berlyn’s
match. You can tell Bischoff isn’t in Tony’s ear as he points out
that demanding something means Berlyn doesn’t get what he wants.
Berlyn hammers away in the corner but Evan comes back with some
generic cruiserweight style offense.
The
evil German hides away but pokes Evan in the eye and slugs him down
even more. A running knee and nice overhead belly to belly have
Karagias in trouble but he’s still able to crotch Berlyn on the top.
Evan hits a high cross body for two as the announcers keep focusing
on the bodyguard. Said bodyguard nails Evan in the back, allowing
his boss to get the win with a neckbreaker.
Rating:
D.
Berlyn is going absolutely nowhere and it’s pretty clear that they’re
shifting the focus over to the bodyguard instead. I can’t say I
blame them as he at least has an intimidating look and could cause
some damage. Other than that though, there isn’t much to get fired
up about for either guy as Berlyn is just horribly boring in the
ring.
Berlyn goes after Evan
again post match but Brad Armstrong makes the save, only to get
beaten down as well. I like Armstrong, but he’s the clearest sign
possible that Berlyn is done.
Goldberg breaks into
Sid’s locker room and steals his keys from an attendant.
David Flair can’t find
Torrie.
Tag Team Titles;
Harlem Heat vs. Kendall Windham/Barry Windham
The
Windhams are challenging for Heaven knows what reason. Tony
continues to screw up continuity by saying Booker was a multi sport
athlete in high school. This goes against Tenay’s often repeated
line about Booker only being in the marching band. Somehow I have a
feeling I’m the only person to pick up on that. Booker superkicks
Kendall to start and hammers him down with ease. It’s almost like
one guy is a Hall of Famer and the other guy is there because he has
a famous brother.
Off
to Barry vs. Stevie with the latter in control as we take an early
break. Back with Hennig working over Booker on the floor before
throwing him in for a beating from Kendall. A DDT drops Booker and
everything quickly breaks down. In the melee, Stevie hits Kendall in
the knee with a title belt behind Booker’s back, giving T. the pin.
Rating:
D+.
These teams have fought so many times that there’s nothing left for
them to do. As I’ve said before, there are so many teams around WCW
but this is the only combination we ever get. A simple change of
pace on the booking staff could do wonders for this company, which
we’re inching towards every single day. Whether that’s a good thing
or not is yet to be determined.
Goldberg calls a towing
company. Your top star of the future ladies and gentlemen.
Rick Steiner vs. Van
Hammer
This
was supposed to be Hammer getting a US Title shot but Sid must be
afraid of vengeance from Slamboree 1993. Rick Steinerlines him to
the floor and Rick laughs as he beats the tar out of Hammer. Back in
and Hammer keeps getting beaten up before grabbing a quick Flashback
for his first offense. Charles Robinson breaks up the cobra clutch
slam because Heaven forbid Rick Steiner have to look bad for more
than ten seconds. Steiner tells Robinson to look the other way so he
can kick Hammer low, setting up the Bulldog for the pin.
Rating:
F.
So in other words, WCW built up a match (kind of) for the US Title
but instead of giving us something that might involve a new guy
getting into the title picture, we got ANOTHER Rick Steiner squash
that no one wants to see. What in the world does anyone see in this
guy that makes them want to push him down our throats as more and
more people change the channel?
Here’s
Bret for a chat. He got hit by a ball bat a few weeks ago but he’s
just a little banged up. He’s back in the ring and thinks Hulk Hogan
is the Elvis of wrestling. Seriously? I don’t really disagree with
the statement but it’s not something Bret would ever say. Cue Flair,
who Bret immediately praises as well. That’s not quite as much of a
stretch but still doesn’t fit. Flair says they need to take care of
Sting/Luger/Page tonight and takes off the jacket to pose. He’ll
ride Liz too if she gets involved. I can’t say I blame him after how
she looked earlier.
Heenan
talks about the mask vs. hair match tonight and says no one cares if
Kidman is bald.
Torrie
is in the Filthy Animals’ locker room when David calls her. He
doesn’t like the other male voices and hangs up. Dude, you had her
for like six months. Go out on that high note because you knew it
wasn’t going to last forever.
Sid is told Goldberg
stole his car keys.
Perry Saturn vs.
Konnan
Konnan
hiptosses him down but gets caught in an armbar for his efforts. A
superkick staggers Konnan but he blocks a suplex attempt. That’s
some of the hardest work I’ve seen Konnan do in years. The rolling
clothesline is countered into a Tazzplex and it’s back to the armbar,
sending Konnan into the ropes. Who would think a match between two
bald guys could be this watchable? Back up and a double clothesline
puts both guys down as we take a break.
We
come back with Saturn cranking on the arm again, sending Konnan right
back to the ropes. A top rope elbow gets two for Saturn but Konnan
grabs a powerbomb out of nowhere for the same. They head back to the
corner with Konnan hitting something like a reverse Razor’s Edge,
setting up his usual finishing sequence. Cue a bunch of luchadors
and the Filthy Animals for a big brawl to throw the match out.
Rating:
C+.
The match was far better than I was expecting but the run-in finish
hurt things as usual. Who would have thought Konnan could keep up
with someone like Saturn though? That’s quite the surprise and a
flashback to when Konnan actually could work a decent match. I’d
assume this ties into the mask vs. hair match later but given that
it’s WCW I doubt they’ve thought it that far through.
Sid goes to his car but
doesn’t find the keys. He heads back inside as the tow truck
arrives.
Post break, the tow
truck pulls the car away.
Here’s
Page for a chat. Page says he’s married to the most beautiful woman
in the world and that’s why the people hate him. He mentions Luger
being gone and the Total Package taking his place, only to call him
Luger a few seconds later.
Various
celebrities are here, including one of the members of ZZ Top.
Quick recap of
Psychosis vs. Kidman in the mask vs. hair match which was thrown
together by Chavo Guerrero.
Kidman vs. Psychosis
Hair
vs. mask and Psychosis has Juventud and Chavo in his corner.
Psychosis hammers away on him to start and they’re quickly on the
floor. The outside stuff goes nowhere so they head back inside where
Kidman scores with dropkicks. Psychosis sends him right back outside
for a slingshot moonsault but Kidman goes for his mask. That’s not
the nicest thing in the world to do and pretty out of character for
Kidman.
The
referee yells at him, allowing Psychosis to get two off a DDT. A
dropkick to the side of the head has Kidman in even more trouble and
a top rope hurricanrana gets two. The other luchadors get in some
cheap shots on Kidman on the floor, setting up a top rope spinwheel
kick for another two count. Kidman misses a dropkick but grabs a
quick sunset flip. They head to the corner with Psychosis hitting a
sitout gordbuster to drop Kidman again but we still don’t have a bald
guy yet.
Kidman
comes back with a powerslam and loads up the Shooting Star, only to
have Juventud pulls Psychosis to the floor. Chavo plants Kidman with
a tornado DDT for two and Juvy sneaks in with a Juvy Driver for an
even closer two. Psychosis is so stunned that he thinks he can
powerbomb Kidman. The Filthy Animals come out to take care of the
luchadors, allowing the Shooting Star to get rid of the mask and blow
the roof off the place. That’s kind of a surprising reaction.
Rating:
B+.
Again, give two talented guys ten minutes to work and let them fly
all over the ring before soaking in a great reaction from the crowd.
This will of course be followed by the fans not caring about the main
event because of whatever reason you care to pick for this show.
This was a really fun and fast paced match though with some great
near falls.
Kidman
quickly rips the mask off and there’s a huge brawl.
Sting, Luger and Page
are coming to the ring. Luger stops dead and starts chuckling until
Page says the red light is still on and Luger keeps walking.
Just……yeah.
Bret
Hart/Ric Flair vs. Sting/Total Package/Diamond Dallas Page
Because
this show clearly has enough power to pull a bait and switch. Sting
shoulders Flair down to start before hitting a gorilla press. Just
like last week, if you watched this match as a stand alone, you would
never know Sting had recently turned. Flair avoids a Stinger Splash
so it’s off to Luger vs. Hart. The Canadian takes over as Heenan
makes more jokes that don’t make sense.
Bret
starts up the Five Moves but Page breaks up the Sharpshooter before
it can do much. Everything breaks down for a bit with Sting nailing
a running clothesline. Tony brings up Liz sending an official memo
to the announcers, forbidding them from calling her man Luger. It’s
a shame he doesn’t bring up Bret injuring all three guys last year
because that might make things more interesting.
Luger
chokes Bret in the corner before Sting draws in Flair, allowing Hart
to get double teamed. A double clothesline puts Sting and Hart down
and it’s a hot tag to bring in Flair. It quickly settles down to
Flair suplexing Sting and going for the leg. Hart takes out Page and
Luger but Kimberly sneaks Luger the ball bat which nails Flair for
the DQ.
Rating:
D.
Totally standard tag match which wasn’t even advertised because WCW
is so much better than WWF about giving what they advertise.
Remember when that was Tony’s big talking point every week? Nothing
to see here as this was more running around in circles before the
“money” matches at the pay per view. Just more dull stuff here
that didn’t advance anything.
David
Flair runs in and gets beaten down. We cut to the back where we see
an empty ambulance and Hogan limps out as his partners and David are
destroyed. Hogan cleans house, gets the bat, and sends the villains
running. Screw off WCW. Seriously, it’s 1999 and Hogan is still
destroying everyone while Flair and Hart look like mere mortals. Was
there ANY reason to not have Hogan in this match?
Sid
goes to his car…..and it’s been completely crushed. He shouts for
Goldberg as we go off the air and I shout about why Sid was actually
in the arena despite having nothing to do tonight.
Overall
Rating:
C.
There are some very good moments on this show but the bad ones drag
it back down to reality. The same problems continue to plague this
show: a main event with no heat and Goldberg being wasted on a feud
people don’t really want to see while Rick Steiner suddenly has match
making power and gets to pick who he beats up in the ring without
ever selling for more than five seconds. Two of the three big
matches being changed didn’t help either, which brings me back to
something I brought up at the beginning.
So
with the big main event match announced in advance, here are the
final ratings for the shows this week. Monday Night Raw: 6.8.
Monday Nitro: 3.0. To put this in perspective, back on Christmas
night 1995, Raw only beat Nitro by 2.5. On that night, Nitro wasn’t
on television. From what I can tell, this is the second largest
margin when both shows were on in their regular time slots in the
entirety of the Wars so far. Of note, the only time that beat it was
built around the return of Hulk Hogan. Somehow, neither week taught
WCW a thing and that’s a big reason why you don’t see Nitro every
Monday night.
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Thunder – September 23, 1999

Thunder
Date:
September 23, 1999
Location:
Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Attendance:
3,782
Commentators:
Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
We’re
coming off a very welcome week break from this show due to a
hurricane last week. This past Monday’s show was more of the same
from WCW as the company made sure the young and hard working guys
were stuck on the other side of the show from the main event stars,
who had to be there to draw the audience. Let’s get to it.

After
the usual opening from the announcers, we look at Chavo putting
Psychosis in a hair vs. mask match against Kidman on Monday.
Lodi
vs. Kidman
After
a hug with his brother/I don’t really want to know what else, Lodi
fires off some knees into the ribs. A drop toehold puts Kidman down
and Lodi gets in a quick spank for some alleged comedy. That earns
Lodi a dropkick in the face and a clothesline to the floor, setting
up a big dive onto both blonds. Lenny offers a distraction and Lodi
takes over with a legdrop and a suplex for two. A bulldog gets the
same after a failed Kidman comeback attempt and we hit the chinlock.

That
goes nowhere so Kidman is sent outside for a brawl with the champ.
Lodi actually dives onto both of them to take over again (was he ever
out of control? Well maybe back in the Flock days). Back in and
Kidman hits his Bodog and does the usual to escape a powerbomb. Lodi
is no Lenny it seems. Lenny offers yet another distraction to break
up the Shooting Star, drawing out Eddie Guerrero to take care of him.
This brings out Chavo to talk trash and then leave. Ok then. Lenny
gets on the apron but Kidman whips Lodi into him, setting up the BK
Bomb for the pin.
Rating:
D+. Not much to this one but
that’s almost always the case with the Lodi matches. That being
said, it’s very refreshing to actually get to the end of a match
instead of just seeing Sid come down to do the same thing every
single week and often times in the same show. Lenny is getting up a
pretty big set of challengers to go after the belt and I’m getting
into his title reign.
Harlem
Heat is shown walking in the back but
they turn a corner and brawling noises are heard. Sid and Steiner
walk around the same corner from the other way.
We
see Sid and Goldberg yelling at each other from Nitro.
Tenay
(not Gene for some reason) calls out Harlem Heat but only gets
Booker. Apparently Stevie is on his way to the hospital as Sid and
Steiner gave Stevie a bump
on the head. That’s quite
the speedy ambulance. Anyway,
Booker wants Sid tonight to prove that this winning streak is a
fraud.
Brandi
Alexander vs. Mona
A
lot of posing delays the start of the match as Tenay tells us to go
on the World Wide Web for more information on the WCW Mayhem video
game. Mona gets taken down
in a test of strenght about a minute after the bell. They
roll into a quick pinfall reversal sequence until Mona gets caught in
a wristlock.
A
dropkick puts Brandi on the floor but she pulls the blonde outside
for a clothesline. Back in
and Brandi stomps away before posing some more. She
gets two off a gutwrench suplex but Mona backflips into a
headscissors followed by some forearms to the jaw. Not
that it matters as Brandi counters a monkey flip and puts her feet on
the ropes for the pin. Uh….upset?
Rating:
C-. The match was acceptable
but these stand alone matches can only get them so far. At the end
of the day, what am I supposed to think of this match? Mona beat her
two months ago and now Brandi evens things up. There’s no title to
fight over and no one else for them to face, so there’s nothing here
but a decent match and a pretty Mona. Did
Mona ever even face Madusa?
The
split second the pin goes down, they go to an ad for Hogan and Sting
videos. That was one of the fastest cuts I’ve ever seen.
Mayhem
ad.
We
see Karagias pinning Blitzkrieg to earn his title shot tonight.
Chavo
Guerrero Jr. vs. Saturn
Headlock
from Saturn to start followed by a hammerlock as they hit the mat for
a wrestling sequence. Back
up and a big clothesline drops Guerrero and it’s off to an armbar.
Chavo tries to get underneath Saturn, earning him a good stomping.
Sometimes that’s all you need to do. Back
up again and a German suplex sends Chavo flying and he rolls out to
the floor for a breather. Chavo
gets back in but quickly flips over to the apron. He can’t ram
Saturn into the buckle though and gets suplexed from the apron back
inside. Other than a few quickly broken holds, it’s all Saturn so
far.
Chavo
finally jumps over a charge in the corner and dropkicks the knee
before a clothesline puts Saturn on the floor. A
nice plancha gets two back inside and we hit the chinlock. Saturn
doesn’t like to rest though and gets up for a big t-bone suplex,
followed by a forearm and another suplex. He loads up a superplex
(logical next step) but Eddie runs out to swing at him.
Unfortunately he misses Saturn and knocks Chavo to the mat. Somehow
the referee doesn’t see Eddie coming in and dropkicking Saturn,
allowing Chavo to collapse head first onto Saturn’s crotch for the
pin.
Rating:
C. Can Saturn please get a big
win, or even a win in general? This wasn’t much to see but Saturn’s
suplexes looked good. They’re setting up something interesting with
the Animals vs. the Revolution, even though they both should be
moving up the ladder a bit. The same idea worked with the Nation vs.
DX in 1998 and stealing an idea only a year old isn’t bad for WCW.
Would Eddie and Benoit be HHH and Rock in that analogy?
Here
are Sid, Steiner and Charles Robinson with something to say. Sid
talks about a restraining order against Goldberg and the US Title
match at Halloween Havoc is off if there’s contact. Booker and
Goldberg are stupid for meeting kids and doing all that other hero
stuff before saying tonight, it’s 100-0. Robinson even has the next
sign ready. So Robinson is some freaky Ric Flair and Lodi
crossbreed?
Coach
Buzz Stern is going to bring Luther Biggs to Thunder. Just get it
over with so this can mean nothing.
We
recap Sting vs. Benoit and the fallout with Sting attacking Hogan’s
knee later in the night. They’re really pushing that six man tag so
points for trying to build to a big match.
This
Week In WCW Motorsports.
Prince
Iaukea vs. Van Hammer
You
know, I was just starting to think this show wasn’t half bad. That’s
what I get for even thinking for a second that this show isn’t a
horrible abomination. I need to stay more vigilant. The Prince
jumps him from behind and actually gets two off a rollup. Hammer
slams him down but gets small packaged for another near fall,
followed by a headbutt. At least Iaukea is being more aggressive.
He’s still horrible to watch but he’s aggressive. Hammer tries an
Irish whip but gets poked in the eye for his efforts.
Yet
another rollup gets two as dear goodness there’s an actual story to
this thing. Hammer gets tired of this match and kicks Prince in the
face before hanging him in a Tree of Woe and choking him from the
floor. When you’re ripping off Rick Steiner moves, it’s time to hang
it up buddy. A few slams set up a few chinlocks on Iaukea but he
finally fights up and kicks Hammer low. I know I said just make it
legal already and it seems like they actually have. Prince hits a
Samoan drop but walks into a spinebuster, setting up the cobra clutch
slam for the pin.
Rating:
D. Well
it was a bit better than a squash but that doesn’t mean it’s an
interesting or even good match. I did like the idea of Iaukea just
going for fast wins because he can’t go toe to toe with someone
Hammer’s size, but at the end of the day it’s still Hammer and Iaukea
getting five minutes on live television. There’s no way this can be
considered a good thing.
Hammer
says he wants a US Title shot on Nitro. I can’t decide if Sid vs.
Hammer on live TV is worse than Hammer vs. Prince on live TV and for
some reason I’m going to get to find out. I
hate my life.
Revolution
video.
Eddie
Guerrero vs. Rick Steiner
Rick
runs his mouth about Booker to start and still wants people to bite
him. Eddie can’t take
Steiner down either from behind or by the leg and I have a bad
feeling about where this is going. He
gets behind Steiner again but this time Rick switches over and throws
Eddie down with a German suplex.
Steiner
hammers away in the corner and starts ripping at Eddie’s face. A
chinlock goes nowhere so Eddie is dumped to the floor. He manages to
reverse a whip for the closest thing to offense he’s had so far.
Naturally that’s all Rick is
going to give him and it’s time for choking with a cord. Back
in and Steiner slaps him before shrugging off right hands to the
face. A spinebuster plants
Eddie for two but he gets back up with a hurricanrana. Cue Sid to
chokeslam Eddie off the top for the DQ.
Rating:
D+. Is there an emergency
button for Steiner to push when he’s actually having to sell? Have
we ever even been given a reason why Sid and Steiner got together?
Given that we’re still waiting on a reason for Nash to join up with
Hogan and surrender the title when he had gotten away with everything
(my goodness that sounds like forever ago), I wouldn’t hold my
breath. This match showed
that not even Eddie Guerrero can save Rick Steiner, which is all you
need to know.
Kidman
makes the save and gets powerbombed. If Lenny hadn’t done it
recently, that would drive me a lot crazier.
CALL
THE HOTLINE! SEE HOW ELSE WE’RE GOING TO SCREW THIS UP!
Cruiserweight
Title: Evan Karagias vs. Lenny Lane
Karagias
is challenging after beating Blitzkrieg on Nitro. Lodi’s
sign: “Lenny is hard to beat.” Lenny
takes Evan down to start and cranks on a hammerlock (popular move
tonight) but has to run away from some right hands as we take a very
early break. Back with the
champ holding a chinlock until Evan fights up and gets sent to the
apron. A springboard cross body gets two on the champ but he sends
Evan into the buckle to put him down again. Lenny’s rather
suggestive cover gets two before he drops Evan with a gorilla press.

That’s
about it for the offense though as a double clothesline puts both
guys down. Evan makes his
comeback but gets caught up top. The champ’s superplex attempt is
quickly countered with a sitout superbomb for no cover. That might
be a good thing as it would make Evan look pretty lame to not be able
to pin Lenny after a spot that big. He
heads up top again but Lodi finally does something by tripping him to
the mat to give Lenny a two count. Back
up and Evan dropkicks the brothers together for two. Lodi gets back
up so Lenny catapults Evan into him, setting up the Skull Crushing
Finale to retain.
Rating:
C. You know, Lenny isn’t that
bad in the ring. Yeah he’s a Chris Jericho look-a-like and has a
gimmick that had to be toned WAY down, but his matches are far from
horrible. The division is
starting to round back into some form (albeit not quite its previous
glory but that’s not fair to ask) and beating Lane might be a big
deal when it happens.
We
see Hammer’s challenge for the US Champion from earlier tonight.
US
Title: Sid Vicious vs. Booker T.
Booker
is challenging but comes out alone while Sid has Steiner in his
corner. Nick Patrick comes out and won’t let Charles Robinson
referee the match. If Robinson is this corrupt, how does he still
have a job? Granted I could say that about so many people in WCW
that this really shouldn’t surprise me. Robinson stays at ringside
as Booker hammers on Sid but charges into an elbow in the corner,
knocking him out to the floor. Booker kicks him into the crowd and
is getting in more offense than anyone has on Sid in weeks. By that
I mean a few shots of course because Sid is a STAR.
They
fight into the crowd and it’s the walking around the arena style.
Back to ringside with Sid in control and dropping Booker across the
barricade. The fans chant for Goldberg but he’s too important to
appear on this show. Steiner gets in some cheap shots but Booker
comes back with some kicks to the champ. Sid of course no sells but
is nice enough to stay down for two off a missile dropkick, only to
have Steiner pull Patrick to the floor. Robinson comes in, along
with Steiner, as Sid chokeslams Booker, setting up a double powerbomb
to retain the title.
Rating:
D. Grumble grumble, star power,
grumble grumble, Sid and Steiner are old. This
was actually a bit better than most Sid matches as Booker was able to
carry things far better than most of his opponents. However, Booker
was never a real threat and the three villains made sure of it. Sid
popping up after the ax kick really doesn’t surprise me but it still
gets annoying in a hurry.
Sid
yells for Goldberg to end the show.
Overall
Rating:
D+. This show was a bit
better than usual, but it’s still nothing I’d want to see. The
stories have thankfully calmed down after all those months of horrid,
but that still doesn’t help the mostly below average wrestling.
We’re just waiting on the guys to start tearing the house down but
there’s always something holding them back. Once they finally just
start letting these stories go somewhere, WCW could potentially get
hot again. That’s one of
the things that makes their downfall so frustrating: there are ways
around some of the problems (not all of them of course) but they just
kept wasting the potential.
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

Monday Nitro – September 20, 1999

Monday Nitro #206
Date: September 20,
1999
Location:
Firstar Center, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 11,634
Commentators: Tony
Schiavone, Bobby Heenan
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
The question in WCW is
now “how bad can it get”. After last week’s mess, the main event
makes me feel like pounding my head in with a hammer, but the midcard
scene only makes me want to carve hieroglyphics into my stomach with
a branding iron. Russo can’t get here soon enough, and I’m sure
that’s going to be followed with a “what the heck was I thinking”.
Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of
last week’s show and the theory that Sting has been having a master
plan for the last three years.
Juventud
Guerrera/Psychosis vs. Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr.
Kidman
dropkicks Psychosis down to start but Juvy offers a distraction to
let the masked man take over. Juvy doesn’t like cheating and comes
in legally with a headscissors before some double stomping has Kidman
in even more trouble. Kidman flips out of a German (apparently you
can’t suplex him either. Unless you’re Lenny Lane) and tags in Rey,
setting up a Doomsday Device with Mysterio hitting a springboard
seated senton instead of a clothesline.
A Lionsault from Rey
gets two but Juvy grabs a quick suplex to take over again. Psychosis
comes back in for half of a double top rope guillotine legdrop (that
was awesome) for two with Kidman making the save. Rey makes a quick
tag so Kidman can hit a top rope cross body to take down both guys as
everything breaks down. Psychosis, not being Lenny Lane, can’t
powerbomb Kidman but Juvy shoves Kidman into a dropkick for the pin
by Psychosis in a big surprise.
Rating:
C+.
Take four talented guys and let them fly around the ring for five
minutes to open the show. That’s standard, common sense booking and
it’s something that is going to work every time. Well, except when
it ends with Sid powerbombing or chokeslamming all of them to
continue a stupid angle but at least they’re trying.
Cue
Eddie and Konnan for a beatdown with Kidman going for Psychosis’
mask. So the Animals are heels? It’s not really clear most of the
time. Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes out for the save and argues with
Eddie, but Psychosis starts ranting in Spanish. Chavo says that was
a challenge to Kidman for a mask vs. hair match next week but
Psychosis doesn’t seem to agree. Since everyone in this company has
match making powers, it’s on for next week.
Quick video on Sid vs.
Goldberg.
Brian Knobbs vs.
Goldberg
This
is actually fallout from Goldberg beating up Jerry Flynn last week.
Goldberg knocks him to the floor to start so Knobbs hits him with
five straight chair shots. As usual, the referee doesn’t seem to
mind. Goldberg blocks a ram into the post and hits a big boot back
inside. Jimmy Hart comes in and gives Knobbs the megaphone for a
cheap shot, but it’s the spear and Jackhammer for the easy pin.
Video on the
Revolution.
Clip of Benoit vs.
Malenko from last week.
Here’s
Flair for a chat. He wants Sting out here right now because he’s
free at last. From Bischoff I presume? Benoit comes out instead and
says the two of them have unfinished business, so after he wins the
title tonight, Flair can have Sting. Despite already having a
guaranteed title shot tonight, Benoit challenges Sting. Flair
ignores this and yells about Sting as Benoit talks about it being his
time after all of Flair’s lies. Ric runs off, looking for Sting. As
usual, the young guys mean nothing on this show.
Nitro Girls video.
Nitro Girls
competition. Still waiting on Stacy.
WCW World Title:
Sting vs. Chris Benoit
Benoit’s
TV Title isn’t on the line and all references to the champ will be
about Sting. The Revolution isn’t out here so it’s one on one.
During the entrances, Tony announces Sting/Luger/Page vs.
Hogan/Hart/Flair for next week. Good to see Benoit getting this shot
in the first hour instead of the main event where the World Title
should be. Feeling out process to start with Benoit missing an
enziguri and getting dropkicked outside.
Back
in and a clothesline sends Benoit outside again as they seem to have
a lot of time for this match. Another dropkick puts Chris down on
the floor for the third time in two minutes. He seems to be more
frustrated than outmatched so far. Benoit scores with a dragon screw
leg whip and dropkick to the knee. Sting is already a million miles
ahead of Sid by actually selling the injury. A bridging Indian
deathlock with Benoit’s hands around the face have Sting in even more
trouble but Benoit has to let it go.
The champ gets caught
in the Tree of Woe for a baseball slide dropkick but the second one
misses, crotching the Canadian against the post. There’s an atomic
drop from Sting as the knee is fine far too fast. Sting totally
botches what looked to be an attempt at a reverse Tree of Woe, nearly
dropping Benoit on his head in the process.
More atomic drops have
Benoit in trouble so he clotheslines Sting down. That earns him a
chinlock for a bit and a knee to the ribs to stop his comeback
attempt. A reverse suplex drops Benoit again and it’s back to the
chinlock. Back up again and Sting avoids a dropkick but gets small
packaged out of nowhere for two.
Sting’s
top rope splash hits knees and Benoit has an opening. The Stinger
Splash misses as well and Benoit nails the Swan Dive for a close two.
The Crossface goes on but Sting is right next to the ropes. Benoit
puts on a sleeper instead but the counter takes out the referee. A
piledriver has Sting in even more trouble but there’s no referee to
count the cover. Benoit’s German suplex gets the same result until
Luger runs in with a bat shot to the ribs for the pin to retain
Sting’s title.
Rating:
C+.
This actually wasn’t as good as you would think it would be. Sting
didn’t really sell much until the end, but it was nowhere near a
squash. Benoit looked like a decent challenge to Sting but he
clearly wasn’t a real threat to win the title. The interesting thing
here though was Sting’s offense. Other than some atomic drops after
Benoit crotched himself, which is more intelligence than anything
else, there was nothing here that would make you think Sting was a
heel. Is it any shock that the fans aren’t booing him?
Flair comes in to punch
Lex down and earns him a Diamond Cutter from an invading Page. Hogan
comes in for the save as Benoit is totally forgotten.
Berlyn video.
Berlyn vs. Scott
Armstrong
Armstrong
gets run over to start and Berlyn poses on the ropes. He spits on
Armstrong and drapes him over the top rope, knocking him out to the
floor. The bodyguard doesn’t get to fire off a right hand so Berlyn
hits a European uppercut back inside. The match just keeps going for
no apparent reason until the bodyguard gets in a cheap shot, setting
up the neckbreaker for the pin on Armstrong.
Rating:
D.
I’ll give them points for trying to push someone new but that Duggan
match has just crippled Berlyn right out of the gate. Well that and
the bad vignettes, bad interpreter, bad look that doesn’t at all hide
the fact that he’s Alex Wright, bad matches, bad finishing move,
bodyguard who already outshines him, the simplicity of the evil
foreigner gimmick and no one caring about him. Other than all that,
the guy is great.
Earlier
today, Vampiro and the Clowns argued over which one should get the
Cruiserweight Title shot but it’s eventually Shaggy getting the shot.
You know, the guy who pinned the champ last week. I apologize for
making you think about that again. Gay jokes abound to make it even
worse.
We see Flair getting
beaten up last week.
Here’s
Diamond Dallas Page to rip on Pete Rose for cheap heat. I’d much
rather watch Rose’s WWF appearances as they’re actually entertaining,
but cheap heat is better than no heat. Anyway, he’s facing Flair in
the main event tonight and is going to retire Ric because Flair won’t
retire like he should have years ago.
Clip of Saturn vs.
Guerrero from last week.
Evan Karagias vs.
Blitzkrieg
So
why did we see Saturn vs. Guerrero just now? The winner gets a
Cruiserweight Title shot on Thursday. They fight over wrist control
to start until Evan hits an uncharacteristic press slam. A more
likely dropkick sends Blitzkrieg to the floor for a big dive as Tony
and Bobby talk about the West Hollywood Blonds, dropping that name
for the first time. Back in and Blitzkrieg hides behind the referee
for a distraction, allowing him to elbow Evan in the face. A big
flip dive misses though and a top rope cross body gets two for Evan.
Cue Sid as Evan hits a spinning top rope splash for the pin and the
title shot.
Rating:
C.
This is actually a better step as they’re at least letting the
matches end before they get to the Sid interference. That really
isn’t too much to ask in theory, but for WCW it comes off like a
miracle. Not much to see here due to time, but at least they’re
pushing Evan as the next challenger.
Sid beats them both up
and challenges Goldberg for Halloween Havoc, as long as Goldberg
doesn’t touch him first. Well at least there’s a focus now.
Revolution video.
Perry Saturn vs.
Eddie Guerrero
Saturn
knocks Eddie into the ropes to start so he comes back with a
hurricanrana and tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to put Saturn down. The
Revolution pulls Eddie outside for a beating and we take an early
break. Of course that somehow doesn’t end the match via
disqualification but why would that happen? Back with Guerrero
armdragging out of a chinlock and nailing a sweet springboard tornado
DDT. That was just awesome looking.
Eddie walks the top
rope into a hurricanrana to take Saturn down again but Perry pops
back up with a belly to belly. A huge top rope elbow drop gets two
for Saturn and it’s Death Valley Driver time. Eddie rolls into a
victory roll for two, perhaps because Saturn took time to signal for
his finisher move. Saturn loads up a superplex but gets
hurricanranaed down, only to avoid the Frog Splash. Eddie ducks a
charge and sends him outside to trigger a huge brawl with the
Animals. In the melee, Shane nails Eddie with a chain which Saturn
sees and doesn’t like. After a staredown with Shane, Saturn covers
for the pin.
Rating:
B-.
This is your token good match of the week but it still doesn’t seem
to be leading anywhere. I’m hoping this leads to the end of Douglas
in the group as he just doesn’t fit with the idea. If nothing else,
he just showed up one day and was suddenly part of a team who was
tired of being held down by WCW after being with the company for all
of a week.
Here’s
Hogan to ignore his history with Flair (as in history dating back
about six months at this point) and say how much he and Hart care
about him as they head into the six man tag. I mean, Flair is
totally cool with Hogan after the NWO kidnapped him into a field and
beat the living tar out of him or broke up the Flair family? This is
just a hard sell for the six man.
Recap of Shaggy pinning
Lane in the tag match last week.
Insane Clown Posse
music video. YOU WILL CARE ABOUT THEM!
Cruiserweight Title:
Shaggy 2 Dope vs. Lenny Lane
A
quick ICP chant breaks out which I’m sure is enough to validate this
horrible idea. Tony Mamaluke runs in again but gets punched in the
jaw by Lodi, allowing security to handcuff him. As he’s being taken
away, Tony shouts about his brother coming soon. Back to the comedy
match, Lenny jumps into the referee’s arms but gets dropped on his
back, allowing Shaggy to slam him down for two.
The guillotine legdrop
misses and a gutwrench sitout powerbomb gets two for the champ.
Lenny does the slow, crawling cover so Shaggy comes out of the corner
with a bad looking running Liger Bomb for two more. Lodi trips
Shaggy to the floor (not a DQ of course. The more interesting
question is what does it actually take to get a DQ in this company?)
but Shaggy knocks him onto J. and Vampiro, which somehow knocks him
out, allowing Lenny to get the pin.
Rating:
D-.
And that’s IT. Just stop with the stupid Clown matches and get them
out of this company so we can see some real wrestlers for a change.
I can’t believe I’m saying this but Lenny and Lodi deserve better
than this. I really shouldn’t be nervous that someone is going to
get maimed because a Clown is trying to drop a top rope legdrop and
has no idea what he’s doing and no one should have to take the move.
Bad match and the ending made no sense.
Here’s
Rick Steiner to brag about how awesome his brother and Sid both are.
This brings out a HUGE Scott Steiner to brag about how he’s been
chasing Wilt Chamberlain’s record. Apparently he just found out that
the NWO is done, meaning someone who seems to be a top heel hasn’t
been paying attention in four months. Speaking of those months, he
doesn’t tell us where he’s been, nor has WCW told us anything about
his whereabouts. He wants to fight Hogan, which could be such a
disaster that it’s one of the most entertaining messes in history.
Kanyon vs. Booker T.
Feeling
out process to start with Booker nailing an early dropkick to take
over. Kanyon bails to the floor, nearly falls over laughing at
Stevie’s intimidating face, and rolls back inside. Mr. T. scores
with his usual stuff and knocks Kanyon back outside, only to be sent
into the barricade for his efforts. A suplex brings Booker back in
and a middle rope Fameasser gets two. We continue stealing popular
WWF moves with a Rock Bottom to Kanyon (not yet named the Book End)
and the usual kicks, followed by the missile dropkick to pin Kanyon.
Rating:
C-.
This was fine with both guys getting to show off in a short match. I
mean, it’s not like they could have given any more time to this
because we needed to hear from the old guys all night instead. As
usual, the talented guys give us a reprieve from the boring nature of
the old guard, but this didn’t have the time to get anywhere.
Ric Flair vs.
Diamond Dallas Page
Flair
jumps him in the aisle and the fight starts fast. They head into the
crowd with Page trying to stagger away but eating more right hands to
the jaw. Page finally gets inside and nails Flair in the ribs to
take over. The backdrop sends Flair onto his shoulder as always and
sets up a pelvic thrust elbow, which is totally not like the Rock’s
big move whatsoever. We hit the chinlock for some very loud spot
calling before they slug it out. A lot blow sets up the Figure Four
but Sting comes in to break it up, only to miss that big elbow. Some
things never change. Sting gets put in the Figure Four but Luger
comes in with the bat for the DQ.
Rating:
D.
You know, some people might want to see the World Title match closing
the show instead of this mess but we can’t have Benoit closing the
show. This was angle advancement instead of a match to set up the
six man next week. Page is nothing at this point and it’s getting
more and more clear every week.
Hogan
comes in and takes a bat shot to the knee so Flair dives on top of
Hogan to protect him. If Flair has ever done something more out of
character, I’ve never seen it.
Overall
Rating:
C.
The wrestling was significantly better this week but it was still
nothing great. That being said, you can still see that the younger
guys and the harder workers are locked in one part of the roster
while the rest of the company is firmly in the other half. Benoit’s
title shot was little more than a plot device to set up the next
week’s main event, which is just another six man tag. The lack of
continuity with the stories is frustrating, but at least we’re
finally getting somewhere with Sid vs. Goldberg. It won’t be any
good, but at least Sid isn’t destroying my soul anymore.
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Nitro – September 13, 1999

Monday
Nitro #205
Date: September 13,
1999
Location: Dean Smith
Center, Chapel Hill, North Carolinas
Attendance: 5,571
Commentators: Tony
Schiavone, Bobby Heenan
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
It’s the night after
Fall Brawl and again I’m convinced WCW has hit rock bottom. The
Revolution got swept last night and Sting turned heel to win the
World Title, despite the fans sounding pleased with the results.
We’re now a month away from Halloween Havoc and it’s time to see how
Nitro goes without Bischoff running things behind the scenes. Let’s
get to it.

Things are already
looking up on this show as we look back at last week with Hart
challenging Hogan and all the Hogan/Sting/Luger shenanigans.
Nitro Girls.
Quick recap of last
night. That’s the best way to do it if you absolutely must.
Recap of Benoit and
Malenko having a good match for a World Title shot tonight until Sid
interfered to give us a good old fashioned bait and switch.
Chris
Benoit vs. Dean Malenko
Rematch with the same
stipulations as last week with Saturn and Douglas at ringside.
Feeling out process to start as they fight over a hammerlock. Benoit
scores with an enziguri but can’t hook a dragon suplex. Instead Dean
nails him with an elbow tot he jaw but they both fall out to the
floor. Mostly even match so far. Saturn and Douglas don’t let it
turn into a brawl as Tony is talking about Sting, which actually ties
into this match. You can tell Bischoff isn’t in his ear this week.
Dean takes over with a
short arm scissors back inside but Benoit powers out and drops Dean
for two. Malenko avoids a dropkick and goes for the leg but Benoit
is right next to the ropes. Benoit misses a charge in the corner but
catches Dean taking way too long to get up top, setting up a top rope
superplex to put both guys down.
A double clothesline
gives us a double cover before we hit a very crisp pinfall reversal
sequence. Benoit starts rolling Germans but Dean counters into a
rollup for two. That’s enough for Benoit as he hooks a belly to back
and slits the throat, only to get caught on top for another
superplex, but Benoit hooks Dean’s leg on the way down and ties the
legs together into a small package for the pin and the title shot.
Rating:
B+. That
might be high but this is the best match WCW has had probably in
months. It wasn’t even ten minutes long but they packed stuff into
this match with both guys getting to look great. There’s a great
story in here with Benoit trying to use suplexes and throws while
Dean wanted to break Benoit down by going for body parts but kept
getting in trouble when he went out of his comfort zone, namely
whenever he went to the top. At the end of the day, there is no
substitute for a really good wrestling match and that’s exactly what
you got here.
All
four members of the team gets in to hug post match.
Gene
is in the ring and brings back Ric Flair as he returns in the
Carolinas again. They’re already about 10,000x better than what we
got last night. I wonder how much of a difference the lack of
Bischoff makes as there’s a good chance he booked the PPV before
leaving and this is the first real show without him.
Ric
is back in face mode and sucks up to the crowd, who of course love
him like free beer in a frat house. Flair
alludes to being free (of Bischoff I’d assume) before talk turns to
Sting and Luger. He doesn’t
approve of how Sting won the title. I’ll let you pause to laugh at
that for a minute. This
brings the two of them out to say it’s their time now, meaning it’s
time for Flair to go because
they’ve been held back long enough. Somehow they’re onto something
as they’ve combined for eleven World Titles and Flair has I think
fourteen at this point?
Ric
says they have to to earn their spots, which you would think they did
years ago but Flair has always had some issues with reality. Luger
and Sting deck Flair and put him in their respective submissions,
drawing out Hart and Hogan for the save. Hogan sets up the tag match
for later, which he’s doing for Flair. You know, for all those great
moments they’ve had together earlier
this year.
After
a break, Luger and Sting laugh because Luger doesn’t have medical
clearance or any gear. Sting
not mentioning facing Benoit later scares me.
Berlyn’s
entourage arrives.
DJ
Ran throws it to Riki Rachman to show us last week’s winner in the
Nitro Girls competition and introduce this week’s finalists. None of
them are Stacy Keibler so we’ll move on.
JJ
Dillon is on the phone with a doctor in Florida and finds out that
Luger has been cleared for three weeks. My what convenient timing
for him to finally look into that.
Stills
of Benoit vs. Sid from last night. The faster we move on from this
the better a lot of people will be.
Erik
Watts vs. Disco Inferno
Someone
explain to me why WCW keeps Watts on the payroll. They must owe Bill
a favor of some kind. Erik
“Let me show you my dropkick” Watts hammers away to start but
gets armdragged and hiptossed, setting up dance time. He
stomps Watts down in the corner but misses a charge, allowing Watts
to powerslam him into the corner. Think the Oklahoma Stampede minus
the followup powerslam.
Watts
stays on the ribs but Disco counters a Russian legsweep into one of
his own, even though it’s pretty much the same move either way. The
middle rope elbow misses though and DEAR GOODNESS TURN DOWN THE CROWD
NOISE! The fans suddenly go from silent to losing their minds in the
span of half a second as we go split screen to show Sid. Disco hits
the Last Dance for the pin a second later.
Rating:
D-. That powerslam wasn’t bad
but the audio going nuts was the most entertaining part of the match.
Disco really deserves
something better than this. Even a low level tag team or something
like that would be nice for him. Instead he’s stuck in these lame
matches and about to get powerbombed in half by Sid.
Of
course that’s exactly what happens, plus Sid rambling on about not
putting up with trash like this, or with Goldberg for that matter.
Charles Robinson was holding
the signs as Sid is now at 82-0 and got to wear the US Title.
Somehow, it kind of suits
him.
Silver
King vs. Norman Smiley
Norman
shoves him around to start but takes a quick enziguri (a popular move
tonight) and a quick flip splash. King
sends Norman outside and teases a dive which looks so horrible that
Smiley doesn’t even bother to move. Back in and Smiley busts out the
Big Wiggle but has to hit a wheelbarrow slam, followed by the
spinning slam. Not that any
of it matters though as Sid comes in for the no contest.
Chokeslams
and double pins make Sid 84-0.
We
recap the horrid Berlyn vs. Duggan match from Sunday.
Steve
Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Barry Windham/Kendall Windham
Regal
runs over Kendall with ease to start and takes him to the mat for a
well needed wrestling lesson. A
front facelock has Kendall in trouble and Regal goes behind him to
throw Kendall around a bit. Off to Barry and the gut of doom before
Taylor comes in for a European uppercut. The
Windhams take Taylor into the corner for a double teaming with the
Windhams moving at top speed. Well top speed for them at least,
which is slow motion for most other teams.
Taylor
finally rolls away, somehow countering the Windham’s lightning quick
offense to make the tag to Regal. Steve comes in with those pretty
lame left hands of his and a Regal Cutter to Barry as everything
breaks down. Taylor hooks Barry in a leg lock but Kendall makes the
quick save. The referee goes after Taylor, allowing Hennig to hit
Regal with the cowbell to give Barry the pin.
Rating:
D. The Windhams need to get
away from my screen as soon as possible. They’re not interesting,
they’re not good in the ring, they’re not really in shape and they’re
not losing like they should be. The Brits are a decent heel team and
could actually have a nice match if given the chance, but here they
are jobbing to the Windhams, who still aren’t over after losing the
titles a day earlier.
Back
from a break with Jerry Flynn in the ring but Goldberg is shown
coming to the ring with security while wearing street clothes.
Goldberg comes down to the
ring and passes Prince Iaukea, who seems to be Flynn’s scheduled
opponent. THANK YOU BILL! Goldberg
isn’t pleased with Sid’s comments earlier and would like to challenge
him to a match. That’s the cleaned up version of course. We cut to
Sid in the back where again his audio is so low that I can’t hear a
thing he says. He picks up a bag and leaves as Goldberg is still in
the ring. Flynn complains and I think you can guess what happens.
Stills
of the Tag Team Title match last night.
Harlem
Heat vs. First Family
So
we had Malenko and Douglas lose last night for a non-title match?
The countdown is on for
those guys. Ray and Morrus stall for a few moments to start before
both guys shove each other around. Knobbs
comes in for a double team attempt but Booker kicks him in the face
to send us to a commercial. Back
with all four fighting outside until it’s Morrus slamming Ray
for two inside.
The
Family hits back to back splashes in the corner but try a double
clothesline and get run over for their efforts. At least Stevie is
at the point where he can run at people and stick his arms out. I
mean WCW praises the Clowns for doing it so they
should praise Stevie too right? Booker
comes in to fire some kicks at Knobbs but the Rednecks come back out
to break up the missile dropkick for the DQ.
Rating:
D+. The match wasn’t bad and
they’re getting the idea of making the hot tag to someone who can
actually use some speed. That
being said, did Douglas and Malenko really just lose to the First
Family to set up a loss to Harlem Heat the next night to continue the
boring rivalry with the Rednecks? That’s what we really just did?
The fact that it’s not the
Clowns getting this feud is somehow the best news to come out of
this.
Insane
Clown Posse vs. Lenny Lane/Lodi
Oh
this is going to hurt. Vampiro is hurting as well after a bunch of
injuries to his head and eye
after the match last night. Lodi
is wearing an East Carolina University football jersey. Does he want
a job in WWF (Vince went to school there if that made no sense)? A
fan runs into the ring before the match but it turns out to be Tony
Mamaluke, who has been following Lenny and Lodi recently. Heenan:
“Take him out back and hang him.” When did Brain get so harsh?
J.
does some bad looking
hiptosses so Lenny starts prancing a bit. A
gorilla press sends Lenny running on his knees to Lodi. The
camera goes to Vampiro at ringside and thankfully he says there’s
something more important going on and points to the ring. Shaggy
hammers on Lodi and Stuns Lane
across the top rope. A
double suplex sends 2 Dope into the ropes as the fans are cheering
for the Clowns. The
brothers hit a knee lift into a legdrop for two on Shaggy but we get
heel (?) miscommunication to allow the tag to J.
Tony
and Heenan keep sucking up to the Clowns and say they deserve a Tag
Team Title shot. My goodness ANYTHING but that. We
get the spot where Lenny and Lodi are knocked into sexual positions
before they plant Shaggy with a double DDT for two. The
brothers load up a suplex/cross body combination but Lodi hits Lenny
by mistake, allowing Shaggy to roll Lenny up for the pin on the
Cruiserweight Champion.
Rating:
F. A Clown just pinned a
champion in what was supposed to set up Shaggy winning the title.
Thankfully the Clowns wouldn’t wrestle again in WCW until August so
this didn’t go anywhere, but my goodness. They’re treated like good
guys, the announcers freak out over hip tosses, and they’re pinning a
champion. Just….come on
WCW. Even you should be
better than this.
The
Clowns want Kidman. That
recruiting thing isn’t going to be mentioned again is it?
WCW
World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Sting
Before
the match, Benoit talks about Sid tapping out last night and the
whole world saw it, but sometimes the calls don’t go your way.
Instead of violins playing Sting to the ring, dogs are barking and
Rick Steiner is here. Oh geez here we go. Rick says this isn’t
Benoit’s night and for absolutely no adequately explained reason,
this is happening instead of Benoit’s World Title shot.
TV
Title: Chris Benoit vs. Rick Steiner
Steiner
hammers away to start and knees Chris in the ribs. He plants Benoit
with a powerslam as this is one sided so far. More beating in the
corner ensues until Rick does that face grab of his. Steiner
shoves the referee before they
head outside with Benoit going into the barricade. Total and
complete squash so far.
A
belly to belly sets up more face ripping, followed by one of the most
painful looking release German suplexes I’ve ever seen. Benoit
landed right on the back of his head in a huge crash that made me
cringe. It’s only good for
two though so Steiner smacks the referee in the face, allowing Benoit
to grab a bad looking rollup for the fast count and the pin for the
title. Steiner clearly
kicked out at about two and a half.
Rating:
D-. This
right here is the moment where it was clear WCW did not care about
Chris Benoit. Yes he won the title but he had a total of some right
hands at the beginning and a rollup with a fast count due to
something Steiner did. This was all about Steiner and Benoit got
squashed the entire time after having a great match earlier tonight
because in WCW’s eyes, Steiner is more important than Benoit by
definition. On top of that, there’s the whole missing World Title
shot. Why stick around if
you’re Benoit?
Post
match, Steiner destroys Benoit until Malenko makes the save. Just in
case you needed any more proof that Benoit is just a guy and might as
well have been Prince Iaukea in WCW’s eyes.
Video
on the Revolution. You know, those four guys that Steiner and Sid
regularly beat up.
Eddie
Guerrero vs. Perry Saturn
The
Revolution and Filthy Animals are at ringside with
Kidman looking to be in pajamas.
Feeling out process to
start with both guys trading attempts at holds until it’s Eddie
grabbing a headlock. Saturn
shoves him off and hits a big T-Bone before putting on a headlock of
his own. Somehow both guys
have already had as much or more offense than Benoit in the previous
match.
Back
up and Guerrero jumps on Saturn’s back for a sleeper as Tony takes
way too long to get to a commercial.
We come back with Saturn hitting a hard belly to back suplex but it
seems to just fire Eddie up. Things
speed WAY up with a sweet exchange of sleeper attempts and suplexes,
all of which do little more than make me even angrier at Rick Steiner
and Sid for getting pushed so hard.
Eddie
gets T-Boned off the top but is still able to hot shot Saturn in the
corner. The third T-Bone sends Eddie flying again and makes me think
I’m watching a Taz match. The Death Valley Driver is countered
though and Eddie plants him with a brainbuster. Eddie
has to bail out of the Frog Splash but escapes another DVD attempt,
setting up a solid pinfall reversal sequence. Saturn sits down on a
headscissors attempt and gets a surprise pin.
Rating:
B. Another awesome match here
between two guys who can just get in a ring and go. Therefore,
neither guy is going to get anywhere around here. This show has had
some really good wrestling but also been some of the most frustrating
stuff I’ve ever seen. Some combination of these guys could be
tearing it up with Harlem Heat for the Tag Team Titles but we’re
getting the Windhams and threats of the Clowns because WCW is that
stupid.
The
groups stare each other down and war is imminent. Why
have them fight big names when you can just have them fight each
other right?
Berlyn
vs. Buff Bagwell
So
he’ll skip the PPV (while still appearing to likely get a payday) but
he’ll fight on TV where more people are watching? Again, WCW is
stupid. The interpreter is
back and goes to the commentary booth to make this even more painful.
She starts speaking German
and the voice is already annoying. Bagwell
stalls to start as Tony actually calls this an anticipated match.
A
nice dropkick puts Bagwell down and the German continues. Some
clotheslines look to set up the Blockbuster but Buff gets crotched on
top. The bodyguard gets
yelled at as this match is already dragging. Berlyn
gets two off a belly to back suplex and we hit the chinlock. The
comeback sets up a top rope clothesline and some basic offense as
Berlyn is knocked down in the corner. A
hot shot sets up a punch from the bodyguard, giving Berlyn the three
count.
Rating:
D-. Gah this was dull and it
barely broke five minutes. It
was a short step better than the Duggan match but it’s clear that
Berlyn isn’t going anywhere. The German chick got annoying the
second she started talking and it didn’t make the match any better.
On top of that, it’s clear that they’re going for the Shawn/Diesel
formula with the bodyguard becoming the star, but Berlyn is as far
from Shawn Michaels as I am from being Miss Nebraska 1973.
We
get a long video on Sting posing the theory that Sting’s entire run
as the crow was just there to set up his heel turn last night. It’s
a cool video but this sounds like some nonsense about the moon
landing being staged in a big studio somewhere. It
doesn’t help that the video contains dialogue like this: “Perhaps
Sting was driving the Hummer that attacked Kevin Nash. He was seen
getting out of a Hummer a week later, remember?” They
even bring up NWO Sting being part of Sting’s grand plan.
Sting/Lex
Luger vs. Bret Hart/Hulk Hogan
Luger
is in street clothes and it’s a brawl to start. Hogan and Sting get
inside with Hulk destroying the champ with all the right hands he can
throw. Bret comes in for
right hands of his own as Luger finally gets on the apron. The
champ comes back with a clothesline and the fans loudly cheer for
him. If you were just watching the match with no commentary or any
idea what happened last night, you would have almost no reason to
believe Sting was a heel.
It’s
off to Hogan vs. Luger with Hulk firing off even more right hands but
eating the running forearm to the head. Sting
comes in with a top rope splash for two because heels use high flying
moves. Back to Luger for more choking as we’re still waiting on
wrestling to start. Hogan
blocks a ram into the buckle but Sting comes back in for a suplex.
Lex starts going after the
knee as this match needs to just die already.
The
knee goes nowhere as Hogan clotheslines both guys down, setting up
the lukewarm tag to Bret. A
quick Russian suplex gets two on the champ and the middle rope elbow
gets the same. Everything
breaks down as Diamond Dallas Page comes out for no apparent reason,
carrying a ball bat. Hogan knocks it away as Bret has Sting in the
Sharpshooter but Luger picks it up and nails Bret in the face, giving
Sting the pin.
Rating:
F. When
I’m miserable over the fact that there are only two minutes left in a
match, there’s something very wrong. This was terribly boring with
no one putting it into even second gear. It doesn’t help that the
story makes no sense. All of a sudden Sting is EVIL (despite not
really doing anything evil tonight), Bret and Hogan are Flair fans
and Page is now hanging out with Luger and Sting. Terrible
match here and I have no interest in seeing this go forward.
Overall
Rating:
D+. This is a really
hard one to grade. The Revolution matches (save for Benoit vs.
Steiner but that was the booking’s fault) were really good and some
of the better TV matches WCW has put on in a very long time.
Unfortunately though there’s a HUGE gap between those and the main
event matches, which ranged from horrible to the preferred method of
torture in 14 countries.
This
show was a perfect illustration of how nothing is going to change in
WCW. The young guys can go out there and have great matches that
actually get the fans reacting, but no one is going to break through
into the main event scene. Those guys exist to fight each other and
warm the crowd up so the real stars can have their boring matches
with whatever nonsense stories they’re running. It’s
like banging your head against a wall and wondering why the door
doesn’t move. As usual, the
wrestling can be good in spots but the booking will make you pull
your hair out.
Thunder
was canceled this week due to a hurricane and replaced by a recap
show so I won’t be putting it up. Sorry to the four people that
actually read those recaps.
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Thunder – September 9, 1999

Thunder
Date: September 9, 1999
Location: Wendler
Arena, Saginaw, Michigan
Attendance: 4,653
Commentators: Larry
Zbyszko, Mike Tenay
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
We’re into a new era
here in WCW as I’m convinced the company gave up at the last Nitro.
Unfortunately that means we have a taped Thunder to sit through, even
though the previous show felt like the taped episode. I know I keep
saying that things can’t get any worse and I’ve been wrong every
single time. Let’s get to it.

This show is in memory
of Mark Curtis who died of cancer shortly before this show.
Buff Bagwell vs.
Barbarian
Buff poses, then locks
up, then poses, then gets kicked in the face. I like this
Barbarian’s style. He hammers away with every sort of strike you can
think of, only to miss a clothesline and get dropkicked out to the
floor. After a chat with Jimmy (who apparently speaks monster),
Barbarian comes back in and gets stomped down yet again. Jimmy
distracts Buff (like it’s that hard) so Barbarian can hammer away.
Even Hart gets in some
choking on the ropes as he continues to be one of the hardest working
manager in wrestling. Barbarian gets two off a side slam and it’s
already time for Buff’s comeback with a cross body and neckbreaker
for two of his own. Jimmy throws something in but Buff intercepts it
and knocks Barbarian cold (1. Some hero. 2. Does no one remember
racial stereotypes?) for the pin.
Rating:
D.
Maybe Berlyn is right and we should all start speaking German. They
couldn’t even let the guy who is supposed to be the hero win with his
cool looking finisher? If there’s a guy who had one of the easiest
paths to being a face it’s Bagwell, but instead he has to cheat to
win a match to set up a match where he’s supposed to be fighting for
America. These are the kind of small things that really shouldn’t be
happening but WCW seems to think no one is going to notice and/or
care.
Clip of Berlyn from
Nitro.
Now here’s something
that has no business on this show: a geniunely good video history of
Sting and Luger, dating back to their arrival in the Crockett
territory and including clips from their time together as a team
(including Crockett Cup footage) and their feud over the World Title.
Van Hammer vs.
Blitzkrieg
Hammer starts fast by
throwing Blitzkrieg across the ring like the cruiserweight he
is…..and talks to the wrong camera. Blitzkrieg tries to get in
some kicks and speed things up but dives into something like the Eye
of the Storm (a Razor’s Edge but Hammer spins him around and drops
him without ever leaving his feet). Hammer nails a running corner
clothesline and drops a leg (on the chest but close enough) for two.
A sunset flip goes as well for Blitzkrieg as you would expect and
Hammer suplexes him down again.
Another suplex drops
Blitzy again and Hammer goes up for a Swanton of all things. Since
it takes him as long as frozen molasses going uphill, Blitzkrieg
rolls away and hits a standing moonsault. He tries again since
nothing else has worked but only hits mat, allowing Hammer to throw
him around the ring again. They head outside to kill even more time,
and so Hammer can no sell a moonsault off the apron. Back in and the
cobra clutch slam ends Blitzkrieg with ease.
Rating:
D-.
So we had a long and boring squash with Blitzkrieg getting destroyed
for the sake of Van Hammer, who hasn’t been going anywhere and won’t
be going anywhere for the sake of filling in time on a taped Thunder.
And for some reason it got over five minutes, just so Hammer could
no sell Blitzkrieg’s big spot and win with a move as lame as a cobra
clutch slam? All hail WCW.
Video on Page vs.
Goldberg.
Video on who was
driving the Hummer. Why am I supposed to still care about this?
Chris Benoit/Perry
Saturn/Shane Douglas vs. Chris Adams/Steven Regal/Dave Taylor
Regal and Benoit trade
headbutts to start as the fans chant USA. Off to Taylor for some
hard European uppercuts before a double tag quickly brings in Saturn
and Adams. Perry slams Adams down and drops him on his head for a
pretty scary semi-botch. It’s off to Shane for some stomping as he
still wrestles like a heel after shoehorning his way onto this team.

Ever the genius, Shane
goes over into the corner and gets nailed by the Union Jack to give
the Europeans control. The triple teaming only lasts a few moments
but does include a save by Saturn. Shane rolls over for the hot tag
off to Benoit and everything breaks down. Benoit and Adams stay in
the ring and it’s a German suplex into the Swan Dive and Crossface
for the submission.
Rating:
D+.
Really standard six man here as Benoit continues to be the only one
in the team that gets to show off in the ring. Malenko has the skill
but doesn’t get to do much, Saturn is more flashy than skilled at
this point and Shane is a talker who is only average in the ring. I
do however like the Europeans as the talented losers who are always
going to look at least passable.
Lodi vs. Kaz Hayashi
This match….again?
Kaz goes after Lenny but Lodi screws up the double team attempt. The
spot is oh so hilarious that they do the same thing again until Lenny
finally proves his worth by distracting Kaz long enough for Lodi to
grab a suplex. Lodi takes him to the floor and sends him into the
barricade a few times before heading back inside for the basic stuff
he can do, mainly because he’s just a comedy character who is
wrestling to continue an angle that should have died months ago.
A clothesline and
powerslam get two on Kaz and a middle rope bulldog gets the same. We
get the old Earl Hebner spot as Kaz tries a sunset flip but Lenny and
Lodi grab hands, only to have the referee kick them apart for two.
Kaz gets two more off a brainbuster before Lenny gets on the apron
again but Kaz sends Lodi into his partner, setting up a rollup for
the pin.
Rating:
D+.
The worst part about this match is it was fairly entertaining and had
a story to it: whenever Lodi was on his own he beat Kaz up but
whenever he tried to have Lenny help, everything fell apart. That
being said, it’s fairly stupid to have Kaz in trouble against Lodi
before he has a title shot this Sunday.
Lenny tries some elbows
on Kaz but keeps hitting mat.
Video on Sting and
Hogan, who are suddenly friends after all those years of like, hating
each other.
Sid Vicious vs.
Adrian Byrd/Bobby Blaze
Both guys are allowed
in at once and it makes about as much difference as you would expect.
The powerbomb ends Byrd in less than a minute.
Blaze gets the same
treatment and Charles Robinson gets to hold up the signs. Sid says
his usual schtick about being the Millennium Man.
Here’s the Revolution
with Benoit missing the US Title and Dean carrying the TV Title for
no apparent reason. You would think Saturn, as in the guy
challenging for it on Sunday, would be holding it but I’m not sure
WCW remembers what they’re doing that far in advance. Dean rambles
about the title belonging to people like them and says Rick can get
it back in a match tonight, one on one with Sid staying in the back.
Shane does a bit better as he talks about the Revolution being
addicted to gold and not stopping until they have all the titles.
Barry Windham vs.
Booker T.
Booker seems to like
the look of that title belt. Kendall tries to validate his
employment by offering a distraction, allowing Barry to get the early
advantage. Booker hammers away with his usual array of strikes and
the flying forearm. They head outside and both sets of partners
(well partner in Booker’s case) get in some cheap shots.
Back in and Barry nails
a DDT, probably the only non-striking move he can do at this point.
Windham hammers away and shocks me with a suplex before throwing
Booker outside for a Redneck beating. Back in again and Barry slowly
stomps away, only to miss an elbow. Mr. T. comes up with his series
of kicks and we even get some breakdancing. He loads up the missile
dropkick but the Rednecks come in for the DQ.
Rating:
D+.
Somehow this is one of the better matches of the night. I’m fine
with Harlem Heat being back together, but it astounds me that the
Rednecks are the best team they can find for them to chase. Kendall
isn’t getting a rub out of this as he continues to be one of the most
useless guys I’ve seen in years. Can we get to something else for
these guys already?
Stevie tries to make
the save and gets beaten down as well.
Clip of Sting getting
laid out on Monday.
TV Title: Dean
Malenko vs. Rick Steiner
Dean is challenging but
has the belt, which apparently he stole at some point earlier in the
night. Rick jumps him before the bell and plants him with a suplex
as we already take a break. Back with Dean nailing a dropkick and
getting punched square in the face for his efforts. Cue Sid as
Malenko rolls Steiner up, only to kick him off and right into the
chokeslam for the fast DQ. The match might have been four minutes,
counting commercial.
Shane comes in and gets
beaten down as well. Benoit is able to grab the Crossface on Sid but
Steiner makes the save. Cue Saturn so we can see the ENTIRE
REVOLUTION getting beaten down by these two main event legends. Yes
I said MAIN EVENT LEGENDS, meaning only other MAIN EVENT LEGENDS can
fight them because that’s how WCW works. Saturn finally backdrops
Sid to the floor and Steiner bails.
Goldberg vs. Bam Bam
Bigelow
From something nearly
on top of a pay per view to main eventing a taped Thunder. Bigelow
jumps him during the weapons check so Goldberg easily slams him down.
We get some Zbyszko level stalling from Bam Bam on the floor before
Goldberg catches a cross body attempt in midair. Goldberg just holds
him there before a World’s Strongest Slam sets up a bad looking
armbar.
The referee gets
knocked down before Goldberg knocks Bigelow silly with a clothesline.
Bigelow hammers away with offense that doesn’t require a referee
bump. Goldberg no sells everything and hits the Bret Killer kick,
drawing in Page. The referee, apparently in a coma by this point, is
still down as Goldberg spears Bigelow down. Page bails to the floor
as Goldberg Jackhammers Bam Bam for the pin.
Rating:
D.
The match wasn’t any good but Goldberg was showing the old fire from
when he was World Champion. When he gets that power game going, he’s
one of the most awesome guys you’ll ever see and he was knocking
Bigelow silly out there. Page running in was pretty obvious, just
like the fact that he’s going to get mauled on Sunday.
Page nails Goldberg
with a chair but runs away to end the show.
Overall
Rating:
F.
See, Thunder does offer a legitimate alternative to Nitro. While
Nitro is a horrible show because it’s illogical and repetitive,
Thunder is a horrible show because it’s incredibly boring and doesn’t
have good matches. They really need to get to the Russo era so we
can get something more interesting instead of just bad. Total waste
of TV time here and I don’t want to see Fall Brawl.
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Nitro – September 6, 1999

Monday
Nitro #204
Date: September 6, 1999
Location:
Miami Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 8,623
Commentators: Bobby
Heenan, Tony Schiavone
Reviewed by Tommy Hall

It’s
one of those rare weeks where WCW has given us the slightest glimmer
of hope coming off this past week’s Thunder. They actually let
Saturn escape with his life against Sid and the Revolution got to
stand tall to end the show. We’re coming up on Fall Brawl this
Sunday though, and that means it’s time to crush the hopes and dreams
of fans so the main event talent can carry the day again. Let’s get
to it.

Clips from last week.
Opening sequence.
With
new music, here’s Bret Hart in his medium return to WCW. He thought
it was a good idea to come down to Miami and show up back here after
a lot of time off to think. After all that time, it occurs to him
that he hasn’t accomplished his goal of making a difference here in
WCW. This isn’t about titles, but he wants to face Hogan. Even if
the title isn’t on the line, he can’t move forward with his career
until he gets that one match. That’s quite the random challenge
without much of a reason. Glad to see Bret is fitting right in.
Here
are Riki Rachman and Kimberly for the first round of the Nitro Girl
search. There are two finalists and the fans get to vote on WCW.com.
Kimberly wraps it up by telling us how hard it is to be a Nitro
Girl. I’m sure it is. The saving grace of this segment: Rachman to
the crowd: “SAY OH YEAH!” Crowd: “NO!” When WCW’s fans
reject you, get out while you can.
Lodi vs. Evan
Karagias
Just
a matter of killing times until the Clowns and Vampiro show up.
Lenny offers an early distraction so Lodi can throw Evan outside.
Back in and Evan hits a quick dropkick for two, followed by a Sky
High for the same. The champ tries another distraction but this time
gets send running back to the floor.
A powerslam and
neckbreaker get two each on Lodi and Evan dives onto Lane before he
can get on the apron again. They start brawling and it’s nice to see
Lenny actually fight for a change and show a backbone. Lodi
accidentally dives on his brother and here come the Clowns for a
distraction, allowing Lodi to grab a quick DDT for the pin.
Rating:
D.
My goodness this company is falling fast. It’s nice to see the
backbone of the company getting bigger stories, but we’re opening
shows with a guy famous for carrying signs vs. the pretty boy of the
week. How is this supposed to make me want to keep watching? A
mostly dull and short match with Lodi winning isn’t exactly the most
thrilling thing in the world.
DJ
Ran y Las Chicas Nitro.
Here’s
Hogan with something to say. Thankfully he keeps it short here,
saying he has no idea why Savage and George were in his locker room
or what Luger’s agenda is. He even clarifies that he has a black
Hummer instead of the white one in the picture. I still can’t
believe that was a plot point they had to address. Hogan can’t wait
for his six man cage match with Sting and Goldberg against
Page/Sid/Steiner. You would think that match would be mentioned
earlier in the night but WCW wants to keep us guessing you see.
Barry
Horowitz vs. Al Greene
If
Sid doesn’t come out during this…….It’s a very bad sign when a
match doesn’t seem good enough for a taped Thunder but that’s what
we’ve got here. Feeling out process to start with Barry raking his
eyes because if there’s anyone you can buy as a heel, it’s Barry
Horowitz. An armdrag and dropkick put Greene down and Barry chokes
him on the ropes. For another match that should have been announced
earlier, Tony promises a battle royal with the final two men having a
regular match for a World Title match next week.
Suddenly
we have piano music playing and cut to a man with bleached blond hair
playing the piano being lowered from the ceiling. That would be the
Maestro, who we’ll get to know more in the future. As this is going
on, Sid comes out and powerbombs both guys for the no contest. Tony
declares him 77-0, despite that being his record at the start of
Thunder. I would say this is a big rib, but I don’t think WCW has
the intelligence to pull that off. However, I can give it to WCW to
have Sid, Tony screwing up, a piano being lowered from the ceiling
and the debut of a new guy in a Barry Horowitz (as a heel for some
reason) match.
Sid
promises to break Goldberg’s record. I think we’ve gotten the point
by now.
The
West Texas Rednecks are getting ready for the battle royal without
Duncum, who will be out two to three months. The door swings open
and there’s a cowboy silhouette, complete with tons of smoke.
Instead of someone interesting, it’s Vincent, now dressed like a
cowboy, offering the Rednecks his help. Since the Rednecks aren’t
that bright, they take him up on his offer. Curt’s nickname for him:
Curly Bill. Sure why not.
Here’s
Harlem Heat with something to say. Gene asks them about their title
match on Sunday and Booker says he’s here to turn this mother out.
He knocks the microphone out of Gene’s hand and just takes it from
him next time. As usual, Gene really doesn’t have a reason to be
here. Stevie says they will be the nine time, nine time, nine time,
nine time, nine time, nine time, nine time Tag Team Champions. Now
Booker wants to burn this mother up but we’re out of time.
Luger
and Sting go into a locker room to find Bret and Hogan. Sting wants
to talk to Hogan, who agrees….and there go the lights. Sound
effects ensue and we come back with Sting out cold. Luger and Hogan
blame each other for doing it. Didn’t we see this same storyline
with the roles reversed back in the early days of Nitro? As in with
the same exact people?
There’s
more to that battle royal than announced earlier. There are twelve
people in the battle royal and the first four will be eliminated.
The next six out will face each other in singles matches later
tonight, and the final two will have another singles match with the
winners facing each other for a title shot next week. Those first
three singles matches don’t seem to be for anything other than a way
to torment us. Thankfully WCW has a graphic for this because the
idea of Tony or Bobby remembering this would have been a disaster.
Battle Royal
First Family,
Revolution, West Texas Rednecks
Battlebowl
1996 might have had a better lineup than this. Somehow they can’t
even promote a match like this properly as Hennig stays on the floor,
making it an eleven man battle royal, in theory meaning the first
three are officially eliminated. Everyone brawls to start with
Saturn choking Barbarian before moving over to Barry. The First
Family seems to have the most continuity as the Revolution is on the
other end with everyone fighting for themselves.
Shane
backdrops Knobbs out and Benoit dumps Bill. Barbarian goes up top
like the lunkheaded savage he is and gets dropkicked out, leaving us
with eight. Benoit and Saturn chop on Morrus in the corner as Hennig
keeps walking around on the floor. Shane backdrops Kendall out but
Kendall grabs Douglas from the floor and pulls him out as well. I’m
assuming that’s a match later. Benoit throws Barry out and Saturn
dumps Flynn, leaving us with Morrus, Saturn, Benoit and Malenko.
Morrus gorilla presses Saturn out, only to walk into a double
clothesline to give us Malenko vs. Benoit for the title shot later
tonight.
Rating:
D.
Gah we’re in for a very, very long night with what could be a great
match to cap it off. This was a really boring battle royal with a
bunch of low level guys and the US Champion and pals in there to take
over near the end. I’m not sure why I would want to see Kendall
Windham vs. Shane Douglas, Jerry Flynn vs. Barry Windham or Hugh
Morrus vs. Perry Saturn (ok that could be decent) but if WCW can
waste our time with stuff like this, why not?
Ad
for Cat-Bo, a parody of Tae-Bo. See, this is the kind of stuff that
can actually be entertaining, though it only kind of accomplishes the
goal. The problem here is that it’s only kind of funny and comes off
more like a really badly made serious version of what they’re making
fun of. I mean, it’s a bunch of out of shape people moving around
and exercising with a professional athlete leading them. That’s not
really funny and is pretty much exactly the point of Tae-Bo in the
first place. In other words, WCW had something resembling an idea
but managed to screw it up.
Johnny
Swinger vs. Prince Iaukea
Is
the main roster on vacation or something? Swinger hides in the ropes
to start and takes a shoulder to put him down. Prince hammers away
in the corner and backflips over Swinger into a rollup for two. My
goodness why is this not a dark match? Johnny hammers away in the
corner as Tony brags about the huge audiences watching the show.
There’s actually something to that as Nitro was within very close
striking distance of Raw for a few weeks around this time. Granted
by next week they lost by two points but they were there at this
point.
Swinger hammers away
even more because he doesn’t know how to do much besides punch. The
fans again want Sid but instead get Iaukea missing a dropkick before
making his comeback. Cue Vampiro and the Clowns again with Violent
J. tripping Swinger, allowing Vampiro to give him the Nail in the
Coffin so Iaukea can get the easy pin.
Rating:
F.
I mean…..dang man. They really are pulling out all of the horrible
ideas here to make sure no one wants to keep watching this show.
Yeah they tried to push something here with the Clowns recruiting
people, but who in their right mind would recruit Prince Iaukea?
This is clearly another episode where they’re not trying and expect
the fans to just suffer through whatever they’re given and stick
around for the main event stuff, despite that plan not working in
about a year and a half.
Earlier
today, Buff Bagwell was signing autographs when Berlyn came up and
spoke German. Bagwell doesn’t take kindly to someone speaking
anything other than AMERICAN and goes after him to no avail.
Berlyn video.
Steve Regal vs. Buff
Bagwell
Buff
starts a USA chant to keep up his xenophobic run. Feeling out
process to start as they trade arm control with Regal clearly not
going at full speed. A backdrop and clothesline put Regal on the
floor, allowing Buff to do some high quality posing. Back in and
Buff wins a slugout until Regal drives a knee into the ribs. Dave
Taylor loads up the flag shot despite his buddy being in control,
only to hit Regal by mistake, which sets up the Blockbuster for the
fast pin. So our American hero got beaten up for most of the match
and won due to some failed cheating. USA indeed.
Post
match Buff grabs the mic and says he loves Miami because it’s part of
America. This Sunday, Berlyn will be fighting all of the USA. This
would be somewhere around Booking 101.
Juventud
Guerrera/Psychosis/Blitzkrieg vs. Kidman/Chavo Guerrero Jr./Eddie
Guerrero
It’s
a huge brawl to start as this is already moving fast. Juvy and Eddie
are left alone in the ring with Eddie taking a powerbomb before it’s
off to Psychosis to start some triple teaming. Psychosis crotches
Eddie on top and just lets him drop down. That’s a different method
of operation instead of like, doing something interesting. Psychosis
hits a top rope spinwheel kick (not a plancha Tony) and another
triple stomp ensues.
Eddie
finally gets a break by grabbing Psychosis’ hands and climbing the
ropes into a headscissors takeover to Juvy while wristdragging
Psychosis. Guerrero could hit that move like no one I’ve ever seen.
He tags both partners and everything breaks down Kidman dropping a
guillotine legdrop on Blitzkrieg but it’s off to Juvy for a bulldog
out of the corner. He catches Kidman on his shoulders, allowing
Psychosis to come in off the top with a missile dropkick for a big
crash.
Off
to Blitzkrieg for his overly flippy elbow drop before it’s already
back to Juvy. Kidman nails the BK Bomb but here are the freaking
Clowns again. Everything breaks down again and Juvy pulls Chavo to
the floor, only to have Blitzkrieg hit his partner with a dive by
mistake. Back inside, Psychosis can’t powerbomb Kidman (he’s no
Lenny Lane), setting up the Frog Splash for the pin.
Rating:
C.
Either do something with the Clowns or stop having them come out so
many times a show. They just stand there and then try to recruit
some low level cruiserweight to set up whatever big recruitment story
they have which isn’t going to make the Clowns any better in the
ring. Or interesting for that matter.
Shane
Douglas vs. Kendall Windham
Please
make it quick. Shane asks the fans if they want a revolution.
Kendall doesn’t seem to want one as he elbows Shane in the face, only
to eat a gordbuster. The necksnap gets two and they head to the
floor with Windham taking over. Shane is sent into the barricade and
steps before taking him back inside for a legdrop for two. Kendall
takes a quick atomic drop and Shane weakly punches him in the corner.

Here’s Curt Hennig to
nail Shane in the back as we cut to a split screen to show the
Revolution in the back. They don’t bother coming out or anything, so
Harlem Heat comes out and jumps Hennig. Stevie completely misses a
slap jack shot to Kendall, setting up Shane’s Pittsburgh Plunge for
the pin, even though all four shoulders were down.
Rating:
F.
It was boring, it was sloppy, it had three people running in and
there was no reason for these two to be fighting other than they were
both in a battle royal earlier in the night. I’m not sure what the
idea was behind the battle royal setting up matches but it feels like
they have no idea what else to do.
WCW
is giving away a million dollars next week. Given how much money
they’ve given away over the years with bad booking, that might be a
financial improvement.
Jerry Flynn vs.
Barry Windham
Flynn
takes him into the corner for a bunch of kicks and punches as he’s
doubled his offensive repertoire. More kicks and chops have Barry
looking annoyed so he rakes Jerry’s eyes across the top rope. Jerry
kicks him even more until Jimmy Hart trips Barry, causing Curly Billy
to go after Hart. The distraction sends Jerry after Bill, who blasts
him in the head with a title belt. Barry hits a quick DDT for the
pin. Thank goodness this wasn’t three minutes long as I don’t think
I could come up with a low enough rating.
Clips
of Berlyn debuting last week.
Gene brings out Berlyn
and gets frisked by one of the security guards. Berlyn’s Lana says
every stupid cliché you could imagine about how great Germany is and
promises to show America that Germany is just better. Thankfully
they kept this short.
Nitro Girls.
Hugh Morrus vs.
Perry Saturn
This
has to be better right? Morrus hammers away to start and counters a
sunset flip, only to miss his sitdown splash. Saturn sends him out
to the floor for a breather before punching Morrus instead of
accepting a test of strength. Somehow this is already more
interesting than what we’ve seen so far tonight.
Back
up and Morrus stomps and chokes in the corner but gets pushed into
the buckle and punched even more. Even more forearms and punches
have Saturn in trouble but he kicks back from the mat. That’s it for
his offense for now though as a clothesline sets up a chinlock. This
match is dying.
Back
up and Saturn hammers away, only to have Morrus bite his face. A
gorilla press sets up a top rope splash but Saturn rolls away. Some
suplexes have Morrus reeling but Jimmy Hart breaks up a Death Valley
Driver attempt. The distraction lets Morrus nail Saturn in the back,
only to have him miss No Laughing Matter. The Rings of Saturn
finally end this.
Rating:
D-.
Just end this show already I beg of you. This was by far the best
match of the three battle royal fallout matches so far and it’s only
because Morrus is the least horrible of the heels involved. What
does this prove? That Morrus can beat up Saturn for ten minutes
until Saturn hits a quick move for the win? It didn’t work for Randy
Savage back in 1995 and it doesn’t make me want to see Saturn fight
for the TV Title on Sunday.
Road
Report.
Chris Benoit vs.
Dean Malenko
Non-title
but the winner gets a World Title shot next week. They shake hands
hard to start before Benoit takes him down to the mat. Dean does the
exact same thing before nailing a shoulder to get us to a standoff.
A test of strength goes to Malenko but Benoit monkey flips him for
two, setting off a sweet pinfall reversal sequence for several near
falls each. Benoit is sent to the apron but gets pulled back inside
almost immediately.
Things
start getting more intense as Benoit chops away and sends Dean into
the buckle. It turns into a slugout with Benoit getting the better
of it before we hit a quick chinlock. Thankfully that goes nowhere
and they fight over a tombstone with Chris planting Malenko…..as
Sid comes out. Benoit misses the Swan Dive, drawing in Sid to
powerbomb Malenko and talk trash, giving us a no contest, which
should have been a DQ win for Benoit but WCW doesn’t understand how
wrestling works. So yes, the ENTIRE BATTLE ROYAL and all those
boring matches mean NOTHING.
Rating:
D+.
I should have known. I mean I really should have known. You knew
WCW wasn’t going to give Benoit or Malenko a crack at the top spot in
the company because that would be elevating one of these guys, when
it’s clear they only exist to make people like Sid look good. The
match was getting good until the end, which crippled it more than
jumping off the top rope did for Sid.
Video on Hogan vs.
Sting.
Video on Page vs.
Goldberg.
The
cage is lowered, complete with a top on it.
Goldberg/Hulk
Hogan/Sting vs. Sid Vicious/Rick Steiner/Diamond Dallas Page
Steiner
still doesn’t have the TV Title with him, though to be fair, Hogan
doesn’t have his belt either. Hogan comes out first and the fight
starts 3-1 with the World Champ in trouble. Goldberg is nice enough
to go through his full entrance as his partner gets triple teamed.
Apparently Bigelow and Kanyon aren’t pleased with Goldberg’s laziness
and jump him outside the cage as we’re waiting on Sting. Bigelow and
Kanyon show their stupidity by throwing Goldberg inside the cage and
he immediately starts his comeback. He fights out of a Diamond
Cutter attempt and powerslams Page before clotheslining the other two
down.
Hogan gets back up and
the villains are beaten up even worse. The trio starts fighting back
as Sting and Luger come out with Lex telling Sting not to go in.
Sting doesn’t listen to Luger (would you?) and comes in to clean
house again, sending Sid and Steiner running away and leaving Page to
get big booted and legdropped for the pin. The ending was odd as
Hogan seemed to get up at two and a half while Goldberg and Sting
just stood there with nothing to do.
Rating:
D-.
And now I’m supposed to pay for Goldberg vs. Page this Sunday? He’s
become the main event whipping boy in the last few weeks, but at
least it’s better than having the young guys doing these jobs. Not
that they would ever be allowed near Hogan, Goldberg and Sting of
course. This was another massacre with Hogan and Goldberg barely
breaking a sweat before Sting came down to take away any possible
threat. The main event heels are looking so worthless right now that
having any two parts of the holy trinity fighting each other is the
only real option they have.
Luger
gets in the ring and right into Sting’s face, saying Hogan can’t be
trusted. Sting and Luger start fighting as the show goes off the
air.
Overall
Rating:
F-.
There have been books written about what killed WCW. You’ll hear
reasons ranging from the AOL-Time Warner merger to guaranteed
contracts to a lack of elevating new stars. I however offer a new
theory: their shows SUCKED. Look at what they presented here tonight
and tell me how they were trying to put out a good product. I for
one don’t really need to see Jerry Flynn and Kendall Windham working
twice in a night but that’s just me.
What
on here would make me want to come back? Is it the boring to
horrible matches? Maybe the young guys getting crushed? Or is it
the Clowns coming out three times a show? It could be sitting
through three terrible matches and one passable one to find out that
the entire concept was just there for Sid to beat up more young,
talented guys. This show drew a 4.1 rating compared to Raw’s 4.4.
Next week’s ratings: 6.0 for Raw compared to a 3.3 for Nitro. This
show didn’t make people stick around and how can you blame them?
Total disaster here and it was clear they weren’t even trying.
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Thunder – September 2, 1999

Thunder
Date: September 2, 1999
Location: Wendler
Arena, Saginaw, Michigan
Attendance: 4,653
Commentators: Larry
Zbyszko, Mike Tenay
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
We’re getting closer to
Fall Brawl and the card is starting to take some shape. The big
story coming out of Monday is Luger accusing Hogan of driving the
Hummer back in the summer, even though I don’t think anyone was still
wondering about that. Sting believes Luger, meaning he isn’t sure if
he can trust Hogan, who was totally his best friend who has never
done anything bad to him ever. Let’s get to it.

We recap
Hogan/Sting/Luger from Nitro and Hogan standing next to the white
Hummer. Wasn’t it black at one point?
Opening sequence.
In case you want to
check the color, we see the original Hummer attack on Nash. It’s
white there.
Clip from the end of
Nitro where Sting found Savage and Gorgeous George in Hogan’s locker
room.
Here’s Diamond Dallas
Page to promise he’s going to take care of Goldberg at Fall Brawl.
He was going to do it tonight but then he realized he’s in Saginaw
and the fans here don’t deserve it. Instead, he has a replacement
for tonight.
Diamond Dallas Page
vs. Al Greene
Page makes more Mama
jokes and gets jumped from behind to start. That’s fine with Page
who hits a quick belly to back suplex and neckbreaker to take over.
We get a nice variety of choking, stomping and choking as you can
feel the televisions changing over to Smackdown in droves. Greene’s
lone offense is a jawbreaker, followed by Page ducking a clothesline
and Diamond Cutting Al for the pin.
Revolution vs. First
Family in a No DQ match for Fall Braw.
Shane Douglas vs.
Dave Taylor
The Englishman sends
him into the corner to start but charges into a boot, setting up a
gordbuster from Shane. After a quick break on the floor, Taylor
comes back with some European uppercuts before going after the legs
with a very British style offense. Back up and Taylor goes for a
middle rope forearm but Shane rolls away, sending Taylor into Regal
by mistake. The Pittsburgh Plunge gives Shane the easy pin in a
quick match.
Chris Adams comes out
with the Union Jack but Benoit makes the save. The First Family and
Revolution come in for a big brawl with the Revolution getting the
better of it and earning the right to talk some trash.
Berlyn is here. As in
WCW, not this show.
Kaz Hayashi vs. El
Dandy
In something you don’t
often see to start, Kaz charges into a boot in the corner. Dandy
doesn’t follow up for some reason and gets armdragged down a few
times, followed by a dropkick to send him outside. Kaz speeds things
up with a big corkscrew dive but can’t follow up. Back inside and
Hayashi charges into another boot to the face (it’s a really bad sign
when they’re repeating spots ninety seconds into the match), allowing
Dandy to backflip over Kaz without making any contact.
That may not be the
smartest move in the world but who am I to doubt El Dandy? Yes that
joke has been done to death but what else is there to talk about with
Dandy? A couple of slams put Kaz down but Dandy misses a middle rope
splash. Back up and Dandy misses a charge but Kaz charges into the
third boot to the face of the match. And this guy is supposed to be
the next challenger for the Cruiserweight Title? Dandy hits a quick
hurricanrana but his superplex is broken up, allowing Kaz to hit a
senton backsplash for the pin.
Rating: D.
This match ran just over three minutes and they managed to do the
same spot three times. I know neither guy is on the high end of the
Cruiserweight division, but they really can’t come up with anything
better than this? Dandy
really wasn’t the best guy in the world to face Hayashi and he kind
of jammed up Kaz’s push.
Sid
comes in post match for a chokeslam, powerbomb and win #76. Wasn’t
he in the eighties just a few weeks ago? With
the lights coming down, Sid says Benoit is the only member of the
Revolution that stands out and he’d love to beat him for the US
Title.
Berlyn
is still around. Still not here, but around.
Cruiserweight
Title: Lenny Lane vs. Kidman
Hayashi,
also known as victim #76, is getting the winner at Fall Brawl.
Feeling out process to start
with Kidman sending him into the ropes, only to eat a shoulder block.
After some championship quality skipping, another shoulder (please
not three times in one match again) puts Kidman down. Lane trips
over him while running the ropes though and Kidman comes back with
right hands.
A
headscissors sends the champ down and a dropkick puts him on the
floor, allowing Kidman to hit a big dive onto the brothers. Back
in and Lenny flips out of a Fameasser attempt before sending him
outside for a beating from Lodi. Kidman
gets planted with a reverse powerbomb (I’ve always thought that would
be a good finisher) and we take a break. Back with KidmanA
gutwrench powerbomb gets….HE
JUST POWEBOMBED KIDMAN!!!!!
I mean, of all the people
that tried, LENNY LANE gets to powerbomb Kidman???
As
my mind is trying to comprehend this, Kidman comes back with a
powerbomb of his own for tow.
The Bodog gets two more but
Lane misses a cross body and hits the referee. Cue
Lodi for a DDT but it has about all the effect you would expect from
a Lodi move. Kidman reverses yet another powerbomb and loads up the
Shooting Star, only to have Lodi come in again for the DQ.
Rating: C+.
This was getting good and that powerbomb thing was actually a cool
moment. I’m sure that’s why the announcers didn’t notice it and just
kept going with the match instead of mentioning how rare it was.
Lane is decent enough in the ring but I have little desire to see him
defending the title against people like Hayashi. It’s just quite the
drop in talent, but the match could be a pleasant surprise.
Mysterio
comes out for the save. That would be another team that would be
better than the Windhams.
Here’s the Revolution
for a chat. Benoit talks about Sid saying people need to stand out,
so Benoit is ready to step up. Sid is going to have to beat him to
death to take the US Title at Fall Brawl and that means more than a
powerbomb. Saturn challenges Sid for tonight.
This Week In WCW
Motorsports.
Coach Buzz Stern gives
his four candidates a pep talk and picks Luther Biggs to be part of
his Winners’ Club. Biggs looks like a stoner and falls on his face
on the way to Stern’s side.
Harlem Heat vs.
Disorderly Conduct
We get the intros this
week because Harlem Heat doesn’t have the belts coming in after
losing them on a live show. Booker wristlocks Mike to start but
they’re quickly into the ropes. Instead it’s off to a hammerlock
followed by the yet to be named Book End and the Ax Kick for two. 
Off to Stevie for a delayed double suplex, but Mike rakes the eyes to
get over for a tag. It seems that WCW has given up on the idea of
actually fighting Smackdown and is content to just let them have
Thursday nights. Another eye rake staggers Ray but a double
clothesline doesn’t even put him down. His double clothesline puts
the alliterative pair down though and it’s the hot tag to Booker T to
clean house. The Big Apple Blast (Hart Attack with a Harlem Side
Kick instead of a clothesline) is enough to pin Tom.
Rating: D.
Total squash here which took me back to 1995. Harlem Heat was a good
team but they didn’t need to be going after the belts again here. I
like having Disorderly Conduct around as a jobber team though as they
seem like the kind of team that could possibly score an upset someday
but never had any real chance.
The Windhams run in and
are quickly dispatched. After a break, the Windhams vs. Harlem Heat
for the titles again at Fall Brawl is announced.
Scotty Riggs vs.
Prince Iaukea
Riggs jumps Iaukea at
the bell as Tenay talks about a golf tournament. Iaukea comes back
with a quick enziguri and we’re in a chinlock less than a minute into
the match. Oh yeah this is going to be quick. Back up and Riggs
hits his dropkick before choking in the corner. Another dropkick and
clothesline get two on the Prince before they head outside for even
more dull stuff. Just because you go to the floor it doesn’t make
your match interesting. Back in and Iaukea misses a high cross body,
setting up a Fameasser to give Riggs the fast pin. Thankfully it’s
too short to rate, meaning I didn’t have to be bored for very long.
CALL THE HOTLINE!
Ad for Cat-Bo, a parody
of Tae-Bo. This was kind of funny so points for that.
Here’s the Cat to
challenge….Hogan. That goes nowhere so he promises he can whip
Goldberg.
The Cat vs. Goldberg
Miller gets in a
superkick with the red shoes. He then gets speared and Jackhammered
for the pin in about thirty seconds. Goldberg has his original theme
back too and it really does work better than Crush Em.
Goldberg vs. Page
video.
Hogan vs. Sting video.
Sid Vicious vs.
Perry Saturn
Sid mocks Saturn to
start but he might just be asking if Saturn wants to get some
cheesecake after the show. Saturn ducks a right hand and low bridges
Sid to the floor but the big man casually punches and chokes him
down. Back up and Saturn scores with three straight superkicks and a
clothesline to send Sid outside. I’m shocked he’s getting in this
much offense. That offense ends though as Sid catches his plancha
and drops Saturn across the barricade to take over for the first
time.
Back in and Saturn
nails a quick dropkick but the sunset flip is countered into a
chokeslam for….no cover. No word on if that counts as a win or not
but in WCW world it probably gives Sid another three victories.
That’s actually not the worst story in the world but when it’s at the
expense of half the roster, the value takes quite a hit. We hit the
chinlock for a bit until Saturn fights up, only to have his cross
body countered into a World’s Strongest Slam for two. Saturn makes
another comeback and hammers away in the corner, drawing in Steiner
for the DQ.
Rating: D+.
Saturn’s offense looked good and I’m actually shocked they didn’t
have Saturn do the clean job here. It’s almost like they’re
protecting the young guys instead of just jobbing them every chance
they can get. I’m sure that’s coming later, but it’s nice to get a
breather from the same stuff over and over again.
Speaking
of getting a break, Sid loads up the powerbomb but Malenko comes in
for the save with the TV Title belt. The rest of the Revolution runs
out and cleans house. Notice how WCW makes sure that it takes four
young guys to get rid of two big stars,
which means young guys are ganging up on the old ones and even used a
weapon to take them out. This story is pretty backwards when you
think about it. A standoff
ends the show.
Overall Rating: D.
Well the booking was less frustrating tonight, but my goodness could
they make it any more clear that they’ve just given up on the
Thursday night battle in just a week? Sid vs. Saturn in a five
minute match is the best they can give us for the main event? The
matches were mostly short though and that makes things a bit easier
to get through, but it’s still low level stuff and some of the most
boring wrestling I’ve seen in a long time.

Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

WCW Prime: September 30, 1996

Who knew the asshole of
Jerry Sags could generate so much discussion?
I wasn’t a member of the
IWC in 1996, but some of you were, and despite the passage of time, like sands
through the hourglass, those were the days of your lives. CRZ started the discussion:
It was enough of a big deal to scuttle the Nastys’
role in the NWO and start them down the road of their eventual WCW demise. I
tried to find a good r.s.p-w thread about it, but came up with this
one
(groups.google.com) instead, which has two retellings of (I’m sure)
whatever Meltzer said about it, including Micasa’s. It also has a reply from
THE RICK in there, so be sure to expand the other posts! The sad thing is Sags
was probably just too hip for the room by aping something as timely as
“Ace Ventura” in 1996.

thecubsfan also thumbed through his virtual library of the Observer to bring us:
1996-10-07: NWO stuff looked like public
access TV although there were a few funny lines. Nasty Boys joined the NWO and
Jerry Sags bent over and spread his cheeks saying he was doing an impression of
Eric Bischoff on last week’s TV show. Bischoff walked off the set early into
the second hour for no explainable reason although what Sags did may not have
been planned (although there is so much swerving going on these days that you
never know) and nobody seemed to know ahead of time that Bischoff was going to
walk off.
1996-10-14: Eric Bischoff did make a hot
phone call to the hotel room where Hogan and company were hanging out regarding
Jerry Sags bending over and spreading his cheeks (and he didn’t even know at
the time what happened to the ratings after that).
1996-10-21: At the Nitro from Cleveland on
9/30, if you had a dish, you could find the back-haul feed from the hotel room
and see Kevin Sullivan after the NWO segments handing the guys their scripts,
telling them where to sit and what to say. It’s amazing something that bad was
actually scripted. Anyway, after the show ended those watching on dishes could
see Savage and Liz walk back into the room where Eric Bischoff, Sullivan and
the NWO guys were all talking about what a great job they’d done.
So Jerry Sags, in the
shootiest room of shooty shooters that’s ever graced our television screens, is
given the scapegoat treatment because he bent over and talked with his ass? He
was wearing his pants for god sakes, it’s not like his brown eye made its WCW
debut (tonight on Prime, Brown Eye takes on Braun the Leprechaun – does he have
the stomach to try and eat it?).
I have absolutely no use
for the Nastys (I’m sure you’re SHOCKED to read this, I know I try very hard to
play it straight and never share my feelings) – but this is just petty. Was
Bischoff mad because the ratings dropped and could blame it on Sags, or more
likely, was he mad that somebody made Bischoff look bad … unapproved.
WCW in all its glory
never ever ceases to focus on all the wrong things while ignoring the bigger
picture. Like, for example, that the entire nWo thing is becoming a little
overdone? That maybe it’s time for a hint of some comeuppance? That maybe WCW
should stop being booked like buffoons? And maybe, just maybe, it’s high time
to edit Johnny B Badd out of the Prime opening credits? (Or Hulk Hogan for that
matter who has appeared on this show exactly as often as he appeared on RAW in
1996)
Well thank the lord, MIKE TENAY has replaced Chris Cruise,
but DUSTY RHODES continues to loom
large.
JOHN TENTA vs. KONAN
Tenta enters to “Not Evenflow”,
later used by Chris Jericho. Konan has once again been stripped of an “N”, but
based on his entrance music this was taped before he joined the Dungeon of
Doom, but after he started wearing flannel, so … a month ago? Tenay talks about
Konan like he’s a blooming flower, cuz he can’t stop talking ‘bout his ROOTS.
Tenta goes through his usual, hitting a hurricanrana off the bell, but misses
the 450 splash. Konan comes back with the Space Flying Tiger Drop, which Tenta
sells by flying backwards into the crowd. He leaps the guardrail with lightning
speed, and gives Konan something to think about with the spear and jackhammer
combo. Okay, I made all that up, Tenta misses a crappy splash and Konan wins
with a senton at 3:09. 1/2*
THE RENEGADE vs. THE GAMBLER
I’m thoroughly confused,
there’s a vortex of suck and amazing in the same ring, and I truly don’t know
what the heck is going to happen. Gambler isn’t dressed as suave as he was the
last time we saw him, but he does have his oversized card deck, which he
smartly uses as a weapon. The fans boo him because they are all going to hell.
Renegade uses all his moves, like punches, and … well, that’s about it. Gambler
tries to break the Gambler’s shoulder, but he’s far too smart for that and goes
to the ropes. He shakes it off as best he can, while the referee insists
Renegade stay in the ring. Gambler calls for time out, but it’s a trick!
Eyerake for YOU! That gives him a solid advantage for no less than 2 and a half
seconds before Gambler finds himself trapped in an armbar. Tenay trips over his
words by saying Renegade continues to “apply pleasure” to the Gambler’s
shoulder. He might want to consider opening a rub n tug, and stay off my TV.
Gambler shoots a back elbow for 1, so he tries a choke instead. We move to a
rear chinlock, in what seems to be the slowest moving match of all time. I won’t
even acknowledge the audience screaming for Renegade with the ferocity of 1000
constipated bowels. Renegade finally hits the handspring back elbow and
finishes with a bulldog at, and I wish I was making this up, 7:26. Renegade declares he’s back and
better than ever. I agree, this might be his highest rated match ever. -**
VK WALLSTREET vs. JOHNNY BOONE
NICK PATRICK is your referee, and Johnny Boone is a future referee, so don’t rule
out shenanigans, even if this was taped at some point in late 1989, as
evidenced by Patrick’s lack of moustache. Wallstreet hits a butterfly suplex,
and locks Boone in an abdominal stretch, cheating like he’s Ric Flair (which he’s
not). Stock Market Crash finishes at 2:51.
Match of the night so far! *
THE FACES OF FEAR (with Jimmy Hart) vs. CHRIS
BENOIT and ARN ANDERSON (in the Prime Cut Moo Match of the Week)
If you don’t know who I’m
rooting for here, then this is the first of my recaps you’ve ever read. Arn
rakes the Barbarian’s eyes, but he doesn’t even feel it and powerslams Arn.
Benoit runs in to save, and he just eats a clothesline, while Barbarian bounces
around like he’s a young Brock Lesnar. Benoit and Meng pair off now, and trade
blows. Benoit throws some of the hardest chops of his life, which just make
Meng madder and madder. He plans Benoit with a dropkick, but misses a leaping
headbutt allowing Benoit to hit a German suplex. The Horsemen double team with
stomps, so Meng just starts karate chopping Arn in the head to make it stop.
Benoit throws more chops, but now Meng has his own, and that doesn’t go well
for our Canadian friend. Twin headbutts from the Fear brings Barbarian back in.
He goes for snakeyes, but Benoit slides off the back and now they double stomp
Barbarian. Barbarian isn’t Meng, so he sells, just a little. Benoit hits a
cannonball, while Arn works on Barbarian’s inner thigh. Of course, as soon as
he picks Barbarian up, he takes a suplex, and here comes Meng again. He pounds
the ever loving shit out of Arn, who rolls to the floor and brings Meng’s leg
with him. He wraps it around the post, but before he can follow up an irate
Barbarian is already chasing him off. Benoit comes in to follow up, but quoting
Dusty, “Meng just wants to beat the snot out of him!” Tag to Barbarian who hits
the pumphandle slam, and Arn has to save at 2. Thrust kick connects, and
Barbarian puts on a chinlock. It doesn’t last long before Benoit fights loose and
hits an overhead belly to belly. Barbarian is up first anyway, and tags Meng.
Meng hits an awesome spike piledriver, and as Barbarian hits a powerslam, both
guys go up for the double swandive. It hits, but Arn saves from the pin. Meng’s
had enough of that, and attacks, but Arn knocks him to the floor! Benoit hits
Barbarian with a German suplex and heads up, but Meng’s already back up and
crotches Chris! Barbarian hits an overhead superplex, but he walks right into
Arn’s DDT. He drapes Benoit on top, holds off Meng, and the stupid Horsemen win
the stupid match at 9:23. Stupid, stupid, frickin’ awesome match. ****
Back to the studio, where
Tenay reminds us that Randy Savage has a title shot at Halloween Havoc. Dusty
says he’s been a part of a lot of marquee matches, but the biggest matches in
history have had Hogan or Savage either together, or against each other. It’s
the biggest matchup in the last 5 years, if you wheel. And that’s a wrap.

You know, that match
deserved a lot more press than the asshole of Jerry Sags. Those Faces of Fear
are pretty damn good.

WCW Nitro: September 30, 1996

We’re almost up to date
kids. Just 5 days (and 18 years) behind from being back on target.
Was last week’s Nitro an
oversaturation of the nWo, after months of prime booking? BigDaddyLoco thinks so, and explains:
I remember this being the first time I was turned
off by the nWo. WCW couldn’t have looked any lamer here which was of course a
big part of the problem. It wasn’t as bad as the redo the set episode, but it
wasn’t exciting television. Hall was on his game though.
wannaberockstar adds his thoughts as well:
I get the whole suspension of belief thing but, at
this time, the NWO was literally assaulting WCW employees and interrupting a
live, nationally broadcast television program and the people in the trucks nor
the people where ever the main TNT broadcast hub was located, didn’t once think
that they’re witnessing a criminal act on live tv and they should either call
the police or, at the very least, shut down the feed and air some rerun of
Thunder in Paradise or something.
Let’s not lose hope now.
Because hope is all we have. Hope that a hero emerges. Someone who can stand up
to the nWo. Someone with the where-with-all to dial 9-1-1 during an emergency.

Dr. Unlikely feels someone in particular might be up to the task:
I would love to have seen a sit-down interview
with Glacier at this time, where he’s all “Holy shit, did I return from my
mystical trip to Japan just in time for the start of a massive gang war? People
are stealing police cars and being beaten with bats on live telvision! Why
aren’t the authorities involved in this?! My dad was a cop, this is really
messed up!” We can only assume that Glacier will now be the the focus of
Bigelow-esque bidding war by the nWo, Dungeon, Horsemen and Luger, right? Like,
that’s what the next two months of this show must be about, everyone trying to
recruit this massively-hyped, superpowered ninja who has arrived to fill the
Sting-sized void in the war for WCW’s soul?
There is no time to
expand on this, because we are LIVE from Cleveland, Ohio, the home of the
defending AL Champion Indians, and a bunch of teams that have won JACK SQUAT
for about 300 years. TONY SCHIAVONE
and LARRY ZBYSZKO are your
announcers, and gee whilickers is Tony ever hot. Not in body, but in rage, of
course. His good friend Eric Bischoff was slapped around like Lash LeRoux’s stepchild,
but even worse, they debuted an nWo race-car. I actually didn’t make that last
part up.
ERIC BISCHOFF is behind the desk, to talk about the “New World Odor” (oh good,
THAT’S spreading). Bischoff starts the 1905 crap, and skips Ric Flair’s name
when listing the greatest champions in its history. “The nWo is nothing but
DIRT BAGS! That means you Hulk Hogan!” Whoa, watch that potty mouth. Bischoff
declares his hiring of Hogan the biggest mistake of his life. The fans reply in
total support of WCW by chanting “NWO!” loud enough to blow the roof off of any
arena in the country.
EL TECHNICO and JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. THE PUBLIC
ENEMY (for the WCW world tag-team titles)
El Technico is dressed
like The Flash, assuming the Flash started with the red body stocking and
stopped accessorizing immediately. They really couldn’t have tapped any other
Cruiserweight talent, they had to agonizingly import another Mexican instead of
using, say, Billy Kidman? Billy Kidman would have been a much better choice
here. A real shame Billy Kidman isn’t in this match. Maybe WCW will realize all
their mistake and book Billy Kidman in the future, instead of El Technico, who
certainly isn’t Billy Kidman. Juvi hits a springboard rana onto Rock, and he
rolls to the floor. Juvi’s right behind – big mistake because the floor is like
the STREETZ, and the guardrail is now home to Juvi’s face. Technico tags in,
and faces a double team sidewalk cutter, which he sells like Billy Kidman. Juvi
gets dumped to the outside, allowing them to blind El Technico by turning his
mask around. Drive By finishes at 2:05.
* Technico is put through the table after the match, by a slingshot senton from
Rock. Technico is left for dead, eventually eulogized by Billy Kidman.
In the locker room, MIKE TENAY is on duty. Gene’s face has
been printed on Milk Cartons at this point. CHRIS BENOIT, MONGO
MCMICHAEL
, and DEBRA MCMICHAEL are
present. Mongo promises no more 60-on-1 assaults by the nWo. Does WCW realize
they had about 1,000 jobbers in the back? Surely their combined jobber
superpowers could have been the strength of at least 2-3 Sting’s. In other
news, Chris Benoit vows to kill Rick Steiner for some reason. Rick had better
seek the asylum of the enclosed pool area with the rest of the dogs.
THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY
THE NEW WORLD ORDER (NOT ANYMORE):
Hollywood is hangin’ and
bangin’ with Nasty Nick Hogan, and the rest of the nWo. DiBiase yuks it up that
WCW is on the hook for the nWo ads since they lost at War Games. Hall welcomes
WCW back from Japan, figuring a little R&R must have done them some good.
Nash makes dated jokes about Ross Perot and Bill Murray, but then this show IS
18 years old, so I suppose it might have been hip amongst that critical 45-60
year old demographic they were chasing at the time.
DEAN MALENKO (with Rey Mysterio Jr’s mask) vs.
ALEX WRIGHT
Wright dominates Malenko
early with a bunch of holds. Nobody’s buying Alex’s technical prowess, WCW.
Malenko hits a backdrop suplex out of a headlock for 2, and Tony calls for a
commercial break.
Apparently it was “all
Dean Malenko” during the break, but Wright is rallying. Malenko ends that fast
sending him to the floor, and whips Wright into the guardrail. Back in, Deano
grapevines the leg, while Alex contemplates his options. Dean releases, and
Wright hits a bunch of European uppercuts, but he is NOT Dave Taylor so Malenko
retains his life. Malenko tries a crossbody off the top, but Wright ducks and
then locks Malenko in a crucifix for the big upset at 5:19. Ain’t that a stinker. *1/2
MIKE TENAY welcomes Randy Savage, who’s hot off his rampage on WCW Saturday
Night (read
the recap
!). However, Savage no-shows his appearance, so Tenay calls an
audible for a break. Does he have the authority for that? Know your role,
rookie.
“JUICED” JIM POWERS (with Teddy Long) vs. EDDIE
GUERRERO
I don’t see good things
in the immediately future of Mr. Powers. NICK
PATRICK
is your referee, and sporting a neck brace after his vicious
assault. Larry thinks Savage was in the wrong, since he’s supposed to be our
savior right now and he’s not in control of his faculties. If you’re waiting
for Savage to commit to sanity, Larry, then you’re in for a long, long ride.
Powers hits a clothesline on Eddie for 2, and slaps on a chinlock. We check out
the crowd, where the NWO LACKEYS are
once again parading around with signage. Powers connects with a vertical suplex
for 2, while the crowd shits all over this match and starts chanting for the
nWo. Eddie fights back with a European uppercut, but Powers just slams his mug
into the buckle. Eddie manages a backdrop suplex, and heads up, but Powers cuts
him off. Powers hits a superplex for a close 2, which draws the ire of Long –
but Patrick’s been on the up and up. Eddie manages a German suplex with a
bridge, and scores the pin at 6:26.
Long argues that Eddie had HIS shoulders down and it was Powers who kicked out,
but Patrick doesn’t particularly care. Long demands Patrick return to referee
school. *1/2
THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY
THE NEW WORLD ORDER (NOT ANYMORE):
The Nasty Boys have
joined the nWo party, wanting to talk that business Hollywood brought up last
week. Syxx brings in the caterer who has more food, while the Nastys just want
to party it up. Nick Hogan throws on a wolf mask, letting Hall coin the term “Wolfpac”
for the first time. Saggs bends over and talks out of his ass, impersonating
WCW.
MIKE TENAY has tracked down ARN ANDERSON,
WOMAN, and ELIZABETH. Arn says the Horsemen forgave Liz once for her moment of
weakness after War Games with Savage, but then on WCW Saturday Night she
strayed again. Arn says she is a Horseman, there’s no grey area. Liz calls
matters complicated, but Woman’s all bitch,
please
. Arn warns Liz to start thinking, long and hard.
HUGH MORRUS vs. BRAD ARMSTRONG
What the hell is this
crap? WCW has been slapping themselves on the back all night about having their
roster back, and THIS is what they send out? Thankfully, the Countdown to RAW
Hour #2 hits the screen, which means it can only look up from here. Armstrong
delivers dropkicks as the fireworks explode.
MIKE TENAY, ERIC BISCHOFF, and “SOBER” BOBBY HEENAN take over the
booth. Tenay tries to explain what happened with Savage, shedding absolutely no
new light on anything.
Meanwhile, Morrus drops a
leg across Armstrong’s pooter, and then drops his weight down in the same spot.
Yikes. Armstrong comes back with an enzuigiri, and punches Morrus in the
stomach causing him to sell like Bald Bull. Brad tries the side Russian
legsweep, but Morrus hooks the ropes to block. Scoop slam sets up No Laughing
Matter, which is not good enough for Morrus, who does it again, finally
accepting the pin at 4:16. **
Backstage, ARN ANDERSON and WOMAN are arguing with ELIZABETH,
demanding to know if she’s with them or not. Arn tells her to take her heart
out of business.
ERIC BISCHOFF drops his headset, and says he’s going to go looking for Randy
Savage as well as the hotel the nWo is staying at. He invites Schiavone to take
over if he’s around.
CHRIS JERICHO vs. ARN ANDERSON (with Woman)
TONY SCHIAVONE takes over the lead headset, and declares his loyalty to Eric
Bischoff. NICK PATRICK referees,
which seems strange since he’s allegedly an nWo guy, but they’re in a hotel
off-site. Jericho takes down Arn with a drop toe hold and applies a half Indian
deathlock. Arn comes back with shoulderblocks to Jericho’s midsection, as ELIZABETH watches from a small monitor
backstage. Jericho kicks Arn in the head, which sends him to the floor. Jericho
comes off the apron with a shoulderblock, but before he can follow up he’s
getting slapped by Woman and decked by Arn. Back in, Arn drops a knee across
Jericho’s face, as Liz walks off. Jericho is given fishhooks which are illegal,
but this is wrestling so you’ve got at least 5 seconds to break and it’s
totally cool. Arn comes off the top which is funny because he has nothing in his
repertoire from there, and eats a dropkick to the face. Jericho hits a spinning
elbow off the top, but only gets 2. Lionsault misses, and Arn leaps up to
flatten the kid with a DDT for the win at 5:35.
Loads of fun here. ***
ELIZABETH
grabs her bags and leaves the building.
M. WALLSTREET vs. LEX LUGER
What the hell happened to
“VK”? He was called that as recently as Last Night! Did he wake up and legally
change his name? What were his motivations? Is he running from the law? The
mob? The IRS? The 99%? Luger’s fired up, overcoming Wallstreet like Warren
Buffet. But like a depression, Wallstreet fights back to crush his dreams and
apply an abdominal stretch. A scoop slam sets up an elbowdrop for 2. The rear
chinlock is applied because all of 2 minutes in, we really need to slow this
baby down. Luger fights loose, but is stopped with a snapmare. Wallstreet
misses a blind charge, and Luger rolls him up for 2. A foot to the face stuns
Wallstreet and Luger hits the forearm of STEEL for 2. A clothesline from
Wallstreet turns things around once again, and he goes for the kill. Luger
fights out of a Vertical suplex, and applies the Rack for the submission at 7:23. *1/2
Back at the announce
table, Tony says it takes a big man to admit a wrongdoing, and Eric showed a
lot of guts admitting his signing of Hogan was a mistake. Heenan: “I told you
that a long time ago.” Tony brings out WCW’s new peace offering to Sting: The
WCW/Sting Sports Motor Car. It’s purple and yellow, WCW’s colors, with Sting’s
face on the front. Elliot Sadler will drive it this week. Tony begs Sting to
come back.
THE FACES OF FEAR (with Jimmy Hart) vs. THE ROCK
& ROLL EXPRESS
Meng and Morton start,
and Morton’s using the “hit and run” strategy which lasts about 3 seconds
before Meng catches him and chokes him. Morton jumps on Meng’s back with a
sleeper hold. Heenan: “Meng hasn’t slept since ’62!” And indeed, Meng’s face
changes from savage to uncomfortable savage as his selling, and he eventually knocks
Morton off. Barbarian comes in and they give Morton a double headbutt. Morton
winds up in a fallaway slam position, but Gibson hits a dropkick to launch Morton
on top for 2. Each guy takes turns trying pinfalls to no avail. Gibson manages
a sunset flip for 2 as we head to a commercial break.
You won’t believe it if I
tell you, but when we come back, Morton is being beaten down, and kept away
from his corner. I know – on what planet, right? Meng kills him with a spike
piledriver, but Gibson saves. An atomic drop sets up a big boot from Barbarian,
and that gets 2. Morton is powerbombed to China, but somehow he kicks out. Holy
hell. A nasty backbreaker hits now, but Morton escapes again. Meng comes in,
but Morton slams his head to the buckle and dives for Gibson. He’s denied, so
he leaps on Meng’s shoulders with a front facelock. Meng swats him down and
axehandles the back of his head. Morton dives with a desperate crossbody for 2.
Barbarian comes back, and he hits a hard elbowdrop. Scoop slam brings back
Meng, and both guys dive at Morton with headbutts, but again Gibson saves.
Barbarian tries a swandive now, but Morton moves to safety, while Barbarian
shakes the cobwebs. Gibson gets the hot tag, but the fans don’t respond at all.
He hits a kneelift followed by an enzuigiri! Barbarian is pounded in the
corner, before he turns back to Meng and hits a double dropkick with Morton’s
help! Hart interferes long enough for Barbarian to hit Gibson with the Kick of
Fear and the Islanders win again at 9:24.
I loved every second of this. ***1/2
THE PUBLIC ENEMY hit the ring to save the Express, so the Faces of Fear figure what
the hell, and decide to try and break Johnny Grunge’s leg for kicks. GIVE THEM
THE TAG-TEAM TITLES NOW DAMNIT!
THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY
THE NEW WORLD ORDER (NOT ANYMORE):
The Nasty Boys are
stuffing their faces while DiBiase orders a bottle of Dom. Kyle Petty sits with
the nWo, who confirms he will be driving the nWo going forward, before mocking
the WCW car. Hogan says at Halloween Havoc, Liz will both be trick AND treat.
CHRIS BENOIT (with Mongo and Debra McMichael) vs.
RICK STEINER
Yes, this is the main
event of Nitro and NOT WCW Worldwide. The giveaway is the audience of greater
than 100 viewers. NICK PATRICK
referees, lecturing the camera that he is the one under scrutiny yet still
continues to work hurt. Benoit and Steiner throw meathooks at each other, with
neither getting an obvious advantage, until Steiner throws a German suplex to
break the stalemate. Yikes. Benoit comes back with a short-armed clothesline
for 2. A headbutt crosses Steiner’s eyes, and Benoit follows with a snap
suplex. Rick comes back with a huge powerslam that takes Benoit over his head,
but it only gets 2. Debra comes over to distract Patrick, allowing Mongo the
chance hit Steiner with the Haliburton, and Benoit scores the win at 4:26. ** The announcers complain that
Patrick must have heard the briefcase shot, because apparently he’s held to a
different standard than every referee in history.
Tony signs off, but after
the credits come up …
THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY
THE NEW WORLD ORDER (NOT ANYMORE):
We’re in the hotel room,
where Scott Hall has put on the Wolf mask. Elizabeth(!!!) is seated between
Giant and Hogan. Giant tells Liz he’s already had a chance to do two movies
since he joined the nWo, including one with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Hogan tells
Liz to stop worrying about Savage. Vincent comes in with a giant bowtied
present, while Hogan promises Liz a three-movie shoot if she joins the nWo. Liz
says everything’s changed since they made the initial deal, but Hogan promises
to make it work. She takes off into the hallway, where Randy Savage is waiting!
“YOU SET ME UP! YOU’VE GOTTA BE RIBBIN’! WHAT’S YOUR DEAL? I CAN’T TAKE IT NO
MORE!” Liz cries and begs for her life, as Nitro goes off the air for real this
time.
Well, at least he didn’t slap her.

What will Macho do! Tune
into WCW Prime to (not) find out!

WCW Worldwide: September 29, 1996

With the nWo complete and
totally in control of WCW, is there anything WCW can do?
YES! They can continue to
hold WCW Worldwide – where the nWo has no chance of EVER appearing! However,
big stars are on tap. Super Calo, Alex Wright, Stevie Ray, and The Dungeon of
Doom! If that won’t bring the hits, NOTHING will!
Our unseen hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE and “SOBER” BOBBY HEENAN.

SUPER CALO vs. REY MYSTERIO JR. (in a non-title
match)
This is a rematch from
Fall Brawl. That’s right, PPV quality here on Worldwide. You can leave your
Nitro at home. This was taped before Calo’s injury, but possibly after they
turned Calo into a big fat jobber. Rey reverses a body scissors into an
armdrag, and hits a springboard rana. Calo hits the floor, so far that Rey
pretty much misses a tope con hilo – but Calo sells anyway. They head back in,
where Calo greets Rey’s springboard dropkick with a dropkick of his own. A
powerbomb leaves Rey dazed, and Calo sends Rey to the floor, where he
immediately hits a springboard senton! The fans boo in disgust for the quality
lucha libre. A tilt-a-whirl slam gets Calo all giddy and soaking in the boos of
the audience, before Rey pops up and hits a Frankensteiner with the legs hooked
for the pin at 2:55. ** Bobby sends
Rey to the pay window, and Calo to the frozen tacos.
ALEX WRIGHT vs. RANDY STARR
Randy Starr would make
for an excellent porn name – but his tights would indicate that he wouldn’t make
for much of a porn star, he’s missing a big part of the overall package. NICK PATRICK is your referee, and
immediately gets on Wright for hair pulling. Wright works the leg, and applies
a half crab. Wright moves to a grapevine when Starr won’t tap, but that doesn’t
work any better. Starr throws an elbow to Wright’s throat, and takes over.
Wright responds by punching Starr in the pooter. A missed dropkick finishes the
turning of the tide, and Wright drops the failed genetic jackhammer with a
series of European uppercuts. Bridged German suplex wins at 4:05. *1/2 Bobby refers to Starr as “Ham
and Egger” throughout the highlights, which always brings a smile to my face.
STEVIE RAY (with Booker T, Sista Sherri, and
Colonel Robert Parker) vs. RICK STEINER (in a match to determine wrestling’s
least talented brother)
I’m setting the projected
rating at half a star. Take the under. Stevie hits Steiner with the clobbering,
drawing boos because he’s a bad person, and also because he’s run through his
whole move set already. Rick hits a powerslam for 1, and decides to punch
Stevie until he falls to the floor. Bobby: “Why does that man bark? Dogs don’t
yell. Does he have the mind of a Chihuahua? You know, he has a red shoe on and
a white shoe on, and he probably thinks he has a pair at home just like them.”
I’m running verbatim because it’s far better quality than anything in the ring.
Stevie works a rear chinlock to slow things down, but Rick escapes. German
suplex from Steiner sets up a clothesline for 2. Shouldn’t it be the other way
around? Booker decides to take Steiner hostage, but Stevie accidentally kicks
Booker in the face, and a roll up gets the 3 at 3:13. Post-match Harlem Heat hit Stevie with the Heat Bomb.
A commercial advertises
an appearance from Rough & Ready up next, but my copy runs out. What kind
of an awful rip off is this? I happen to know for a fact that the following
took place later in the show:
Rough and Ready faced
Chris Benoit and Arn Anderson in a 15 minute spectacle, where Mike Enos really
finally found his groove. I rated it a solid ***1/2.
VK Wallstreet burst into
flame and his match was cancelled. In its place, we saw a returning Brian
Pillman (who was responsible for the sudden flash fire, as we’d find out at
Starrcade) threaten to whip out his Johnson and piss all over the nWo, getting
a hero’s welcome.
Then he turned nWo to
swerve us 🙁
Glacier fought the Super
Giant Ninja, and defeated him by turning him into a frozen statue and
uppercutting him into a million pieces.
Ron Studd was then
defeated by Jim Powers in the main event.

Tune into Nitro to see if
I’m a giant liar. 

WCW Saturday Night: September 28, 1996

On Monday night, with the
bulk of WCW’s main roster in Japan, the nWo completely took over Nitro for the
second hour of the show. We were treated to nonsense matches, and complete and
utter chaos. We also got the debut of Vincent, the first addition who was
really looking like overkill. TheCubsFan
weighs in more:
If I’m remember the WONs correctly, there was
starting to be some pressure from Turner for WCW to spin off another show on
TBS, with a working idea of it being an nWo show. The people in charge in WCW
felt it would over expose the product and fought to delay/stop it from
happening for the time being. It’s possible these additions were justified so
there’d be enough bodies for a nWo focused show (and, given the thinking of the
people involved, to bring aboard people who could do jobs of the people at the
top wouldn’t be asked), but it changed how the nWo felt from here on out.
We’ll see if the trend
continues on a condensed 90 minute version of WCW Saturday Night.

TONY SCHIAVONE and DUSTY RHODES are
refusing to air the nWo footage from Monday, so as not to stoop to their level.
Instead, they want to focus on the new tag-team champions, Public Enemy. How
about we don’t?
Nope, they’re gonna force
it. We follow THE PUBLIC ENEMY back
to New York, where they do a kick line (start spreading the news!), and dance
in a fountain just like some other pop culture show.
HIGH VOLTAGE vs. THE PUBLIC ENEMY (for the WCW
world tag-team titles)
How did THESE idiots earn
a shot at the belts? They faced the Outsiders on Nitro (who have a title shot
at Havoc) – and didn’t get in a single offensive move. And true to form, Voltage
takes a double neckbreaker off the bell, while MARK CURTIS cringes. Rage hits Rock with a backdrop suplex, but
Grunge saves. Voltage works the double team, and a clothesline gets 2. Grunge
gets an early hot tag, and clotheslines both guys. Voltage comes back with a
double clothesline, but miscommunication gives Grunge the chance to roll up
Rage for the win at 3:02.
Post-match, Kaos takes a swanton through a table. *
DEAN MALENKO vs. BRAD ARMSTRONG
Tony laughingly calls
Armstrong one of WCW’s “top stars”, but he IS coming off a win against Super
Calo so maybe momentum is changing (no). NICK
PATRICK
is the referee, and Malenko IS wearing black trucks with white
writing, hmmmm. Dusty starts running through fantasy scenarios, such as hoping
that Dean Malenko catches Number Six out back and tears him limb from limb.
Considering he’s having a bit of a difficult time with Armstrong so far, I’m
not sure I love this idea. Armstrong gives Malenko a faceplant, and a running
kneelift to the “belleh welleh” gets 2. Malenko dumps Brad to the floor to give
himself a moment to breathe. Armstrong tries to sunset flip back in, but
Malenko grabs the ropes. Patrick pushes Dean off, but the momentum carries him
forward into a pin, and Malenko scores the win with an assist from Patrick at 3:10. The plot thickens. *
REY MYSTERIO JR. meets with TONY SCHIAVONE
to discuss Malenko. Rey has nothing but respect for Dean, he’s the toughest opponent
he’s ever faced, and he can’t wait to have another great match at Halloween
Havoc. He promises to keep his belt for a very long time. Malenko walks in now,
and gives Rey his due as champion. But, he’s going to get his belt back. He
offers a handshake, which Rey happily accepts, and Dean gives him a short
clothesline, beats him up, and rips off the mask. Schiavone throws his coat
over Rey’s head, and tells the camera to beat it.
MAXX vs. EDDIE GUERRERO
This is Eddie’s first
match since the Clash of Champions in August. Eddie hits a dropkick and
finishes with the Frog Splash at 0:28.
Tony figures that was a message to DDP that their issues aren’t over.
KONNAN vs. THE GAMBLER
Fully initiated in the
Dungeon of Doom, Konnan is given all his n’s back. The Gambler is dressed to
the 9’s tonight, wearing a very classy top hat, and puffy shirt. This looks
like a man who’s ready to take matters seriously, and finally win a match. In
fact, he nearly scores an upset in a choke hold, but the referee won’t count
once he spies the choke. Konnan comes back with a standing headlock/figure four
combo, and upon release hits a powerbomb. Tequila Sunrise makes its debut and gets
the win at 1:56. Damn it all. 1/2*
THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY
THE NEW WORLD ORDER
The nWo members are all
bowing down to and chanting for Hogan. DiBiase wants to take over the world
next. Hogan continues to make fun of Macho’s bald head, while Hall tells him to
“snap out of it”. Hogan starts doing a dead-on Macho impression, “Hollywood
Hogan is going to kick my ass in Vegas, oooooh yeah.”
ROUGH & READY vs. CHRIS JERICHO and “JUICED” JIM
POWERS (with Teddy Long)
Dusty feels that Rough &
Ready are close to being world tag-team champions. Bo Beverly? I’m not okay with
this. Speaking of Not Okay With This, the Jericho/Powers teaming is a visual I
really could have done without. NICK
PATRICK
referees, and hopefully he’ll just send Jericho and Powers to the
back, telling them “yeah, this combo? I don’t think so.” Dirty Dick pounds on
Jericho, but Chris comes back with a monkey flip and scoop slam. Slater comes
back with a running clothesline, and Enos takes Jericho to the floor. Enos
beats on him a bit before rolling him back in. Enos misses a big splash and
tags in Powers, and he’s promptly pinned with a backslide via the feet on the
ropes at 3:10. Dusty thinks Patrick
saw Enos using the ropes, and gets super irate. Long gets all up in Patrick’s
grill, but he has no interest in having his authority questioned. Match of the
night at *1/2.
Backstage, TONY SCHIAVONE gets a word with Nick
Patrick. Patrick says no one’s feet were on the ropes, because if they had
been, he would have seen it. Patrick says that if anyone’s responsible for the
nWo advantage, perhaps he can look in the mirror because at War Games, what
threw WCW off was the bogus Sting. And who spread the rumor about Sting joining
the nWo? Tony Schiavone, more than anyone else. He’s also offended by Dusty
Rhodes calling him nWo, he’s the most loyal WCW official there is. In fact, he
proved it Monday by being the only person who had the guts to stay and referee
during the nWo carnage. “As long as I’m here, WCW, you have nothing to worry
about.”
DISCO INFERNO vs. CHAVO GUERRERO JR.
Disco stops worrying
about his hair long enough to show a little fire, attacking Chavo off the bell.
A swinging neckbreaker delights Disco, who stops to dance. Damnit Disco, focus!
His constant dancing between moves proves to be his downfall, however, as Chavo
hits a monkey flip and holds on for the pin at 1:21. DUD
THE FACES OF FEAR (with Jimmy Hart) vs. THE
ARMSTRONG BROTHERS
Now this is something I
can sink my teeth into. Scott proudly declares the Armstrongs back in the house
in WCW, which might be the last thing he EVER says if things go my way. They
hit a double dropkick on Barbarian, and then deliver one to Meng as well. A
double shoulderblock stuns Meng for a half second, but he comes back by no
selling a sunset flip and stomping on Steve’s face. Barbarian lays in the
chops, and fires off a big boot for 2. Meng comes off the top with a splash
after a vertical suplex, and the Faces win at 1:33. I had so much more for more. *
TONY SCHIAVONE greets the winners backstage. Hart says the Dungeon loves Halloween,
and can’t wait to get their hands on the Horsemen. Meng and Barbarian
hilariously take over the microphone now, screaming gibberish, with the
occasional “HALLOWEEN HAVOC” and “LAS VEGAS” thrown in. Barbarian turns to
English at the end. “STEVE MICHAEL WE SHOW YOU WHAT WRESTLE IS!”
LEX LUGER vs. JUVENTUD GUERRERA
It didn’t take long for
us to move into the era of using the Mexican Cruiserweights as jobbers. I’m
disappointed in you, WCW. I hold hope that Juvi is going to score an upset, but
he’s locked in a Rack at 1:06.
Trash.
Once again, TONY SCHIAVONE works the backstage
area. Lex says if the Horsemen want to point fingers at him for losing to the
nWo, then so be it. He vows not just to defeat Arn Anderson, but to hurt him.
Where Sting is concerned, everyone was fooled by the bogus nWo Sting. He’s
apologized repeatedly, and now he’s going to give Sting a little space to work
his problems out.
BIG BUBBER vs. RANDY SAVAGE
Main event time, but we’ve
only got a couple of minutes left at most. Thankfully, Savage recognizes we’re
short on time, and runs Bubba face first to the ringsteps. Back in, a double
axehandle drops Bubba, and Savage starts dropping elbow after elbow. ELIZABETH looks on in concern. NICK PATRICK hits the ring, and takes a
punch between the eyes. CHRIS JERICHO
and CHAVO GUERRERO JR. rush down to
stop the insanity, but Savage grabs Patrick by the hair and tears off through
the crowd, as the copyright logo comes off and the show fades to black.

Will Patrick live to see Nitro? Will Lex Luger ever find love again? Will the
Mexican imports win another match?

Hell if I know, Worldwide
is next and they don’t care about any of that.

WCW Nitro: September 23, 1996

Last week was a whirlwind
of activity, to say the least. The 1-2-3 Kid joined the nWo, leaving little
doubt from the minute he sat down which side he was on. Sting threw a tantrum
about the lack of faith WCW guys had in him, and walked out on the company. The
Horsemen have turned their attention on Lex Luger, leaving WCW’s frontline
completely decimated. Randy Savage is expected to be alone this week as most of
WCW is in Japan. And of course, we saw the debut of Glacier, who, and I say
this as respectfully as possible, was a big fat giant dud of a loser.
It’s time for a little
Nitro.
TONY SCHIAVONE is screaming at decibel levels usually reserved for high powered dog
whistles, because they are LIVE! LARRY
ZBYSZKO
is here in body, but not in spirit. Tony has a copy of USA Today,
showing an ad for Monday Nitro, where the nWo logo has been spray painted over
the WCW logo. The nWo has spray painted every individual newspaper in the
world! What attention to detail! Wait, no, it was printed that way, which Tony
figures DiBiase paid for.

EARLIER TODAY: The nWo lackeys handed out nWo propaganda to fans filing into the
arena.
KEVIN SULLIVAN and KONAN (with Jimmy Hart and Big
Bubber) vs. BRAD ARMSTRONG and JUVENTUD GUERRERA
Konan’s other “n” was
sent to Japan this week, along with Max’s second “x”. Dave Penzer introduces
Sullivan as “from the Iron Gates of Fate”, but it sounds like “Iron Gates of
Taint” on this old VHS dub, which in an ironic twist of fate would also be
where his stunt double was announced from in the WCW/nWo: A XXX Parody release.
I’d recommend skipping over the 8-man. A new tradition is born here on Nitro;
pairing random members of the Cruiserweight division and making them seem like
jobbers (because they secretly are). Konan hits a powerbomb, but Juvi comes
back with a rana and follows with a slingshot plancha to the floor. A
springboard 450 guillotine legdrop gets 2. Konan fires right back with a cradle
DDT that looks kinda vicious, and goes to tag out but Sullivan doesn’t want to
come in for some reason. So Konan happily hits a super cradle DDT, but again
Sullivan won’t tag, and a fresh Armstrong comes in. Armstrong attacks quickly,
but Konan goes low and powerbombs him. Konan forces a tag to Sullivan, who
double stomps Armstrong for the pin at 2:39.
* Post-match, the Dungeon turns on Konan. Hart calls it an initiation, and the
Dungeon explains himself. Konan stands up, and declares his loyalty to the
Dungeon of Doom. He is immediately given his “n” back.
MIKE TENAY is once again working tonight because Gene is still MIA. RANDY SAVAGE is pacing around, and
knows he’s a marked man tonight with most of WCW’s relevant players out of the
country. He promises to beat up the whole nWo tonight. Regarding Elizabeth: Not
in this lifetime, or the next.
“MEAN” MIKE ENOS vs. CHRIS JERICHO
It seems odd that of all
people to be left off the Japanese tour, they’d not bring Jericho with them
considering his long history over there. Enos offers the hand of friendship,
which is just a ploy for a bitchslap. Come on Chris, you should know better,
his NICKNAME is “MEAN” for god sakes. Enos throws a bunch of short headbutts,
but Jericho stops that with a simple armdrag. NWO LACKEYS start protesting WCW in the crowd, and amazingly the
announcers completely ignore them. Enos hits a running clothesline off the
apron to the floor, and then uses the TV cable to choke out Jericho. Because
he’s so mean, he also throws Jericho head first into the steps, and then
suplexes him back first on top of them. Larry assumes Jericho’s bones are
broken, which if true, would seem really irresponsible of WCW to allow Jericho
to keep wrestling. Back in, Enos locks him in a bear hug. Jericho claps loose,
but winds up getting powerslammed. Enos applies a Boston crab, but Larry
astutely points out he isn’t leaning back with full force so he’ll never get a
submission. Jericho is placed in a quasi-torture rack, but he escapes with a
sunset flip for 2. A butterfly suplex gives him time to go upstairs, and a
missile dropkick connects. Enos is placed up top, but he blocks a rana with a
superbomb. Enos poses, taking way too long to cover, and gets 2 as a result.
Enos goes for a powerslam, but Jericho reverses in mid-move and scores the
upset at 7:43. **1/2
GOLDBERG PAT TANAKA vs. GLACIER
Tony talks Glacier’s
backstory, of having chosen wrestling over going into Law Enforcement like his
father. Apparently he’s never heard of the State Patrol, because in WCW you’re
allowed to do both. Glacier’s entrance lasts about 4 hours, and the fans turn
on him right away. There’s no chance Tanaka was chosen by accident here, right?
There’s way too much of a Shang Tsung vibe going on for this to be a
coincidence. Once again, they wrestle in a blue arena which is ridiculous, and
Glacier wins with the Cryonic Kick at 1:11.
1/2* I can’t wait to see who gets to impersonate Goro at Starrcade.
THE PUBLIC ENEMY vs. HARLEM HEAT (with Sista
Sherri and Colonel Robert Parker) (for the WCW world tag-Team titles)
Tony announces The
Outsiders vs Harlem Heat for the tag-titles at Halloween Havoc IF they can get
through the threat of TPE. NICK PATRICK
referees here, so don’t bet against him disqualifying the audience on account
of the rules. Tony ALSO announces some of the big stars coming our way in Hour
#2, and I’ll spare you the embarrassment, because even WCW Prime is saying “really,
that’s the best you’ve got?” Why on earth did they send EVERYONE to Japan if
Nitro was going to air from NOT JAPAN? Little happens before we call for a
commercial break.
Apparently it was “all
Harlem Heat” during the break, but we come back just in time to see Booker
crotch himself off a missed Harlem sidekick. Grunge dances in front of Stevie
Ray, and Booker clotheslines his head off. Stevie enters with a competent leg
drop, and Booker pulls him out to choke a bitch. TPE recovers by hanging around
their table, but Nick Patrick tells them to get back in the ring. Grunge gets
locked in a headlock, which goes nowhere. Booker enters with a vicious Harlem
sidekick, but stalls too long and only gets 2. Who cares though, because …
In the back, THE NWO arrives in their limos. Hogan,
DiBiase, and “Sting” travel together, the rest in the other car. Nash announces
that they are definitely in the house.
Grunge finally gets a hot
tag, and he brings the “fists of fire” as per Tony. Those lead him right into a
double headbutt from the Heat. He manages to roll away from the Harlem
Hangover, but Stevie keeps him from leaving the ring. Somewhere in here, Booker
sneaks in a small package, both guys appear to have their shoulders down, and
the bell rings at 8:43. Patrick
announces it was Booker’s shoulder down, and gives the belts to TPE. Huge,
completely undeserved reaction for this. Barf. I don’t even REMEMBER this
happening. **
ERIC BISCHOFF, MIKE TENAY, and “SOBER” BOBBY HEENAN take over the
announce booth. Bischoff says there’s a new nWo member later tonight. Yeesh,
ANOTHER one? 7 isn’t enough? No, Eight is Enough.
GREG VALENTINE vs. RANDY SAVAGE
I kinda get a kick out of
the fact that the way, way, way over the hill Greg Valentine somehow has warranted
enough respect to wrestle exclusively on Nitro, while the in his prime Jushin
Liger wrestles on … well, Prime, I guess that’s appropriate. Hammer works over
Macho’s legs ever … so … slowly. Savage gets tossed to the floor, but he
angrily rolls back in just to get tossed again. Savage is dropped throat first
across the guardrail. Bischoff sends his best wishes to Super Calo who died
before Nitro
dislocated his shoulder before Nitro. Savage finally wakes up,
and slams Hammer with a chair in the face. The referee suggests maybe he not do
that, but allows it. Savage, sensing invincibility, dives off the top with a
chair to Valentine’s skull, and THAT draws a DQ at 2:59. DUD
KEVIN NASH, SCOTT HALL, NUMBER SIX, and TED DIBIASE
rush the ring, and attack Macho together. Savage swallows the Outsiders Edge,
while we spy ELIZABETH looking on
from the stage. THE GIANT comes on
down now, while Nash fires off a Jackknife. Giant gives high fives to everyone,
and offers one to Savage, but “oh he can’t get up.” Then he introduces the
greatest of all time, the largest arms in the world, and the financial backer
of the nWo, HOLLYWOOD HOGAN. Hogan
draws nuclear heat during his entrance. Hogan drops the leg, while Giant does
an amazing Ric Flair impression. Trash fills the ring as Hogan drops a second
leg. For kicks, Nash pulls a Slim Jim out of his tights and starts whipping
Savage. Hogan says the glare from Savage’s bald spot is making him blind, so he
spray paints his head, while Giant pops his mug in front of the camera and says
“yeah, snap into it!” and eats the Slim Jim.
The guys hit the announce
booth now, and everyone scatters except Bischoff. Nash and Hall order him to
stay put, and do his job. They join him on commentary, and introduce DiBiase’s
new head of security. “Bring out Vince!” And, so we are introduced to the
former Virgil, now VINCENT. He and
Hogan share a loving hug while the fans chant “Virgil”. Bischoff begs for the
producers to go to break, and tries to bolt, but they keep him from going
anywhere.
Upon return, they still
haven’t moved. Hall welcomes everyone to nWo Nitro. He says he could take over
anything he wants. Vincent keeps swatting Bischoff on the back of the head,
which seems to bother him because he keeps fixing his part.
An nWo car drives out to
the staging area, while Nash tells us that yes, the nWo has its own racing team.
Nash promises Kyle Petty next week.
Giant takes over the ring
announcer position.
JIM POWERS (with Teddy Long) vs. VK WALLSTREET
Nash calls Long “Peanut
Head”, which is probably racist, but still funny. The nWo runs down Wallstreet’s
credentials, and they seem to like him – so they decide to wander down to the
ring to get a closer look. DiBiase dons a headset to join Bischoff on
commentary, while Vincent keeps him from running. And we don’t get a match,
because the Outsiders just start teeing off on Powers for the hell of it. Why?
DiBiase explains it’s because they can. Referee RANDY ANDERSON takes off, because he doesn’t need this crap. NICK PATRICK steps up to the plate,
because he’s the man. Giant announces himself as Powers’ opponent now, and
skips around the ring like a ballerina. Chokeslam gives him the “win”.
Meanwhile, Hogan is
rushing around in the backstage area, spray painting the wall. He runs into the
NASTY BOYS, and it’s hugs all
around. He says when they called him, it was great, because they’ve always been
friends. He wants to talk business with them later tonight, and gives them the
keys to his room to hang out in the Hollywood suite.
Giant stays in the ring
to keep his role, while the rest of the nWo go back to the booth. Hogan joins
them wearing Savage’s green cowboy hat.
JIM DUGGAN vs. RON STUDD
Hogan meets Studd in the
aisle, and shakes his hand. They
know each other intimately
, after all. Still, that doesn’t stop Hogan and
Nash from immediately beating him up. Hall orders them to play “the theme from
your favorite adult movie”, and the nWo porno theme fires up. Duggan is offered
a new opponent instead.
JIM DUGGAN vs. NUMBER SIX
Duggan defends himself
with the 2×4, swinging wildly at both Syxx and Nick Patrick. They wind up
taking different sides of the ring, and Duggan turns his head to Patrick
allowing Syxx to attack from behind. Still, Duggan whoops him pillar to post,
giving Syxx very little offense at all. Duggan roars his war siren of “USA”,
which fuels him forward. 3 point stance looks to finish, but Giant pulls Duggan
out by the feet while Patrick watches Syxx intently, out of concern. Chokeslam!
Duggan is rolled back in for the easy win at 2:21.
Hogan encourages Bischoff
to join them instead of fighting against them.
NWO STING vs. BO LEDOUX
Nash can’t remember the
name of our portly jobber, until Bischoff reminds him that the nWo hired the
poor guy. Sting wins with the Scorpion Deathlock at 1:36, while the fans passionately chant “WE WANT STING!”
HIGH VOLTAGE vs. THE AMAZING FRENCH CANADIANS
Rage screams “WCW BAYBEE!
NO MORE NWO!” on his way to the ring. This is where the guys are bloody idiots.
Regardless of where the “top stars” are, I imagine at least 1500 members of WCW’s
inflated roster are still backstage. If they’re really as pumped and fired up
on behalf of their company, why aren’t they saying “hey, if we all grab
baseball bats and rush the ring, they’re screwed”? Do they really need “leadership”
to figure this out? Anyway … The Canadians sing the National Anthem in French,
which DiBiase grows tired of, so he sends the Outsiders down to take care of
things. The Canadians run away, leaving us with:
HIGH VOLTAGE vs. THE OUTSIDERS
Bischoff asks if DiBiase
bought the French Canadians loyalty to get them to run away? DiBiase: “No, they’re
just smart.” Outsiders play Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who starts, and Hall
gets the nod. Hall bitch slaps Kaos, and nails him with a running clothesline
in the corner. Hall puts him in the STF, and paintbrushes Kaos. That brings in
Nash, who works the kneelifts in the corner. Bischoff calls for a commercial
break, which Hogan shrugs off because TV or not, they’ll just be destroying “WCW
champions”.
Upon return, Hall has
Kaos locked in the abdominal stretch. Bischoff begs Hogan to make Vincent stop
hitting him, that he’s ready to do whatever he wants. Hogan ignores him,
continuing to explain why he created the nWo and generally stroking his own
ego. Rage gets the “hot tag” and walks into a fallaway slam from Hall. Bischoff
tells them to stop beating up these guys. Hogan asks where WCW’s hero is? He
suggests maybe Liz save the day. Nash connects with the big boot, and Hall
follows with a backdrop superplex. Kaos gets the tag, which makes him eligible
for the Jackknife. Hall pins him with one foot at 8:10. 1/2*
Back in the announce
booth, the entire nWo crew airs a replay of Macho’s beating from earlier in the
night. Hogan: “I’m gonna get my kids a Macho Man punching bag for Christmas
this year!” Bischoff tries to get in some plugs for Halloween Havoc, but Nash
ignores him, asking how he feels about the nWo taking over his entire company
instead? Before they sign off Hall has one more question for the Giant: “Hey,
is Andre really your dad?” Giant: “Man, why did you have to go there?” And that’s
it.
This is a very polarizing
edition of Nitro. They compensated for the lack of stars by making the second
hour then nWo show – but it came at the expense of the entire roster. The
masturbatory booking made sense for who the nWo is, and as a one-time affair,
this probably isn’t all that bad, because it was DEFINITELY leaps and bounds
edgier than anything going on in the WWF.
The problem, as we’ll discover,
is that this type of stuff simply isn’t gonna stop after tonight. But … we’ll
worry about that as we approach it.

No Prime this week, so we’ll
skip ahead to WCW Saturday Night next.

WCW Worldwide: September 22, 1996

WCW Worldwide is ready to
go, and man have we got a doozy today. Who’s here? Well, just the biggest stars
on the planet, like Super Calo, the Rock & Roll Express, and no fewer than
FOUR members of the Dungeon of Doom. Is Maxx amongst them? Well the only way to
find out is to take us “live” (taped ages ago) to the studio, where…
We say hello to TONY SCHIAVONE and “SOBER” BOBBY HEENAN!

“DYNAMIC” JERRY LYNN vs. JUVENTUD GUERRERA
Lynn is a WCW newcomer
wrestling in his debut, who we have never ever seen before, not even tagging
with “Desperado” Joe Gomez as recently as last night. Heenan figures “Juventud”
means “My Sombrero is too tight”. Tony corrects him, as it means young, so
Heenan accepts that it means “my young Sombrero is too tight”. NICK PATRICK is your referee, so do not
rule out the likelihood of this “international star” Jerry Lynn being an nWo
member. Heenan debuts the use of “Juvi” which Tony takes offense to and will
probably never catch on. Lynn hits a headscissors out of the corner, and Juvi
throws a fit on the floor. Heenan kills me at this point, when Tony starts
listing off great members of the Cruiserweight division, he talks over him with
“JL!” Juvi hits a springboard somersault plancha re-entering the ring, and
flattens Lyyn with a brainbuster for 2. Lynn comes back with a German suplex,
complete with bridge, but he gets 2. Juvi retaliates with a t-bone, but Lynn
gets a foot on the ropes. Guillotine legdrop looks to finish, but Juvi uses an
arrogant cover and Lynn kicks out. That’s cool, he says, cuz he goes for the
springboard 360 guillotine, but Lynn rolls away and Juvi eats canvas. Missile
dropkick from Lynn gets a close 2. Lynn tries a second one, but Juvi swats him
and Lynn falls powerbomb style. A super Frankensteiner gets the win at 6:50. Tony calls it a
“hurricanplancha”. Have I mentioned lately how happy I am to have
Cruiserweights taking up the spots previously occupied by the likes of Joey
Maggs? ***
DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. DISCO INFERNO
Disco is an unfortunate
casualty of the nWo, because he was starting to pick up a strong cult-following
earlier in the year before the entire promotion shifted its attention
elsewhere. Of course, he’s no Steven Regal. Page nails Disco with a discus
lariat, and follows with a backdrop. He starts his own disco dance, so Disco
uses that opportunity to schoolboy him for 2. Tony points out that he has never
seen Disco Inferno’s album in any record store, which Heenan heralds as a huge
success because it’s constantly sold out. Disco uses an eye poke to turn the
tide, and throws in a bionic elbow which just serves to make me sad that Dusty
wasn’t here to see it. Swinging neckbreaker gets 2. Disco celebrates with the
swim, and winds up eating a Diamond Cutter at 4:22. *
SUPER CALO vs. BRAD ARMSTRONG
Heenan deduces that Calo
probably has never worked in an airport, but that he’s the smartest masked
wrestler in the world because he left the ears uncovered, so he can hear what
people are saying about him. I would love to watch video of Vince McMahon in the
gorilla position trying to get Heenan to talk, WWE style, and Heenan ignoring
him and continuing to go off on his insane tangents. Calo hits Armstrong with a
swinging dropkick, and then hits a senton bomb to the floor. Back in, a
tilt-a-whirl slam sets up a missile dropkick – but that misses. Armstrong
flattens him with a clothesline and finishes with the Russian legsweep at 2:23. Heenan can’t believe Calo’s hat
never fell off. So now that we’re officially finished with any scent of a Calo
push, can we bring back the missing Psychosis?
THE DUNGEON OF DOOM (with Jimmy Hart and Maxx) vs.
THE ARMSTRONG BROTHERS, TONY MELLA, and PEPE PRADO
You know, it’s been over
a week since we last saw RON THE
LEPRECHAUN
, but here he is running around ringside. Our Dungeon of Doom
representatives are the Faces of Fear, Hugh Morrus, and Bubba. I have never
seen either Pepe or Mella before, but I would absolutely love to see much more
of them, ESPECIALLY Mella. He’s about 400 pounds, in nothing resembling
wrestling shape, but he bumps like a pinball. Bubba hits the Bossman slam on
Pepe, but Mella saves. He’s promptly killed for that, and Barbarian finishes
Prado with a superplex at 3:30.
Morrus hits No Laughing Matter on poor Pepe, and then everyone takes turns
teeing off on him. The Armstrongs just stand there during all of this. A giant
curse on you, Bullet Bob. *
THE ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS vs. CHRIS BENOIT and
ARN ANDERSON
The R&R go for a
quick pin on Arn, and that doesn’t endear them to the Horsemen. Benoit tries to
extract a little revenge, but Ricky snaps off a rana. Hiptosses keep Benoit at
bay, and Gibson hits an enzuigiri. Gibson hits a nice little headscissors
takeover, but Benoit powers him back to the Horsemen corner and tags in Arn. In
fact, Anderson takes him to the floor, and Arn goes for a big closed fist, but
Gibson ducks and Arn punches the ringpost. His knuckles might be sawdust.
Morton smells the blood, and starts working over the arm. Quick tag to Gibson who
applies an armbar. Morton drops a knee on the arm, but Arn gives him snake eyes
and tags in Benoit. Benoit wears him down and throws Morton to the wolves – in
this case Anderson, who whips Morton’s shoulder into the ringpost on the floor.
Ricky re-enters with a sunset flip, getting a close 2. However, Arn sees Gibson
a little too close, and recognizes he needs to get up and keep Morton in the
Horsemen corner. Benoit delivers a backdrop suplex, but it only gets 2. Morton
shows a little fire, getting in a punching war with Chris, but a powerslam
stops that. Anderson comes off the top, but Morton boots him in the face, and
the hot tag is finally made. Gibson has elbows and kicks for everyone. Things
break down, and Arn is the recipient of a double dropkick. The referee tries to
clear Morton, and that allows Benoit to fly in behind his back with a double
axehandle, and Arn rolls over for the pin at 8:46. **1/2

Tony re-iterates for the
zillionth time on the last few shows that Macho and Hogan are main eventing Halloween
Havoc – just incase you didn’t know this. Heenan vows Savage will rip the belt
off Hogan’s carcass in the Las Vegas desert. And that wraps things up until
Nitro tomorrow.

September Classics: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle – Unforgiven 2002

To close out September today and tomorrow, we’ll go with the brand split era and the Smackdown side of things. Benoit and Angle had the classics ***** encounter at Royal Rumble 2003, but before that at Unforgiven 2002, they paired off in another great match, this one has an ending that hearkens back to their WM X-7 encounter.


Chris Benoit vs Kurt Angle – Unforgiven 2002 by puropwgwwestuff

WCW Saturday Night: September 21, 1996

Before we get started on the (condensed!) hour of WCW Saturday Night, I’m handing the final word on Sting (for now) over to resident Dungeon of Doom expert, and the man determined to unleash the secret of Cobra’s covert mission, Dr. Unlikely:
I think the storytelling with Sting here is about as smart as things get in wrestling. His entire career as Sting has been about him being an honorable man in a nest of vipers. Steamboat’s gone, Dusty doesn’t wrestle, he doesn’t even have the Bulldog around. By circumstance, in the company’s hour of greatest need where the other hero of his day has gone to the dark side, he’s forced to ally with a collection of his greatest enemies and his only “friend” is the least trustworthy guy in the business.
The set-up is amazing, because it’s perfectly in character – the only possible in-character reactions – for Luger, Flair, Arn and the Dungeon to assume “Oh, yeah, of COURSE Sting sold out” because that’s what each and every one of them would do, has done, time and again. None of them can even conceive of the idea of Sting being exactly who has has always been, a good person, because they don’t have the capacity for it. And Sting, who has gone to bat* for and trusted each of them many times over, decides to pull a Tom Sawyer and find out what they all think about him only to find out how little they think of him. So he goes off to sulk in his tent, but, amazingly, he actually has a better motivation for it than Achilles.

(Semi-interestingly, following the Achilles storyline that we seem to be set up for, you’d expect it taking Luger to get killed to draw Sting back out, but Luger ends up getting his own mini-heroic redemption arc now. Like, it took what seems to be the actual destruction of the company to finally turn Luger into the hero that everyone always wanted him to be for the briefest of windows.)
If Sting messed up – and of course he messed up because he’s still just some dumbass in Sgt. Pepper Bret Hart jackets and goofy facepaint up to this point – it’s in that he missed that there were other potential allies out there. (Throw Savage out, I guess, since he seems to be the least culpable in driving Sting away but is also batshit insane. I’m curious to be reminded of how Sting treated him moving forward.) Konan has been offering himself up to anyone who would listen as a weapon against Hogan. Regal, we have seen in these recaps, was out there lobbying to be a top guy deserving of respect from Sting and Flair and got none**. And what of dynamic superstar Rey Misterio Jr? He was a victim of the nWo. Will he have any role to play in this war?***
Meanwhile, I am struggling to figure out exactly when the right time would be to debut my COBRA: WHAT WE KNEW AND WHEN WE KNEW IT expose, since I can no longer remember exactly how and when the nWo Sting saga plays out.
*HE WILL LATER HIT THEM WITH BATS, you see.
** I think we’re about to enter Peak WCW Regal now, and I recall being into Regal’s sideline role as a tweener right around this part of the story when he comes back, so let’s see how much of that I’m mis-remembering.
***However my memory might be blowing up Regal: WCW Defender in hindsight, I know for sure that I irrationally love the “Rey Misterio Jr., Fifth Horsemen” bit coming up relatively soon even more
Well, you can forget Mysterio and Regal this week, they’re in Japan along with … well, everyone except Randy Savage. But, perhaps the Saturday Night Cyborgs can come to our rescue in the interim, right here on the Mothaship.
Welcome aboard, DUSTY RHODES and TONY SCHIAVONE. Rhodes is back on Team Sting, apologizing profusely and telling him how badly we need him.
THE AMAZING FRENCH CANADIANS vs. THE ARMSTRONG BROTHERS
Rougeau forces everyone to stand for the National Anthem, but it’s nearly impossible to tell because Dusty hasn’t shut up for the last 5 minutes about the nWo. They don’t even finish, because they’ve noticed the Armstrongs are morons and have turned their back to them, so they attack. Steve hits both Frenchmen with a dropkick, and then works with his brother to hit a double dropkick on Rougeau. Ouellette is alone, but he catches Scott in mid air, and Rougeau hits him with an assisted dick to the face. Boston Crab is applied, Ouellette hits a legdrop, and they get the win at 3:20. **
nWo t-shirt ad. Large. XL. Giant size? Giant: “PLUS IT MAKES YOU LOOK SKINNY ON TV!”
DISCO INFERNO vs. JIM POWERS (with Teddy Long)
Powerslam wins at 1:03. Long and Powers share a long, tender hug, and Long calls out the nWo. That doesn’t sound like a good idea at all. DUD
MIKE TENAY hooks up with THE FOUR HORSEMEN. They all promise death to Lex Luger for tapping out at War Games. If Sting wants to work as an island, that’s fine, he done lost his mind but that’s fine. I’m glad to see their focus is where it needs to be.
DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. SUPER CALO
NICK PATRICK is your referee, and quite frankly, I’m surprised he hasn’t been ordered to hold up “10” signs for DDP at this point. Page hits a tilt-a-whirl slam, and calls for the Diamond Cutter. Instead, Calo sweeps the legs out so Page slips on the banana peel, and hits a top rope spinning heel kick. Swanton bomb goes to finish, but Page kicks out at 2. Diamond Cutter finishes at 2:38. WCW has already correctly given up on Calo, and I’m cool with that. 1/2*
Meanwhile, THE DUNGEON OF DOOM are talking up Konnan. Konnan says because Hogan wouldn’t come to Mexico, he will come to him instead. He also wants Ric Flair’s US title back. Even Maxx gets a speaking role, adding “absolutely”.
KEVIN SULLIVAN and KONNAN (with Jimmy Hart) vs. JOE GOMEZ and MR. JL
Usual Sullivan match. Lots of energy, and full-fledged slaughter. JL takes a powerbomb from Konnan, who follows with a rolling clothesline. Sitting dropkick sets up Splash Mountain for the win at 1:53. DUD
THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE NEW WORLD ORDER
Hall introduced as “Best of nWo” clip-package, while he works on his graffiti. And honestly, looking at this, it’s amazing just how quickly the nWo has become *everything* in WCW. You will never, ever see anything booked as strongly as this group was again.
UP CLOSE WITH THE BOOTY MAN PART 2: Booty says he never expected anything in return from Hulk Hogan, because he was proud to be his friend. He hasn’t accepted that “it’s over”. He was jumped by the Horsemen for being Hogan’s friend, and he figured that was WCW’s way of telling him he wasn’t welcome. He received an invitation to Hogan’s birthday party in the mail, and because he still felt the bond with Hogan, he bought a cake and decided to go to Hog Wild even though he doesn’t personally agree with the nWo. When he was attacked, it pulled his heart out. Now he wonders if he was ever really Hulk’s friend to start with. He’s upset he was used. He has no idea where to go from here, and doesn’t know who he is anymore. “I’m not the Booty Man. I’m not The Zodiac. I’m not the Butcher. I don’t have a place. I don’t fit in. I don’t know where I belong any more. I don’t think I’m gonna be wrestling anytime soon, I just need some time.” I’m telling you, mark your calendars now, Starrcade 1996, Hollywood Hogan vs. Beefcake. It’s happening.
JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. REY MYSTERIO JR. (for the WCW world cruiserweight title)
Juvi hits a springboard spinning heel kick that sends Rey to the floor. He’s right behind with an Asai moonsault, and we’re clearly getting spoiled at this point because the canned heat doesn’t even respond. Juvi tries a springboard corkscrew, but Rey dodges mid move and then dropkicks him! Juvi to the floor, and Rey is behind with a rana off the apron. Back in, the sunset flip misses, but Juvi’s German suplex with a bridge does NOT, and it gets 2. A second attempt is blocked, so Juvi tries to brainbuster him from the apron to the floor. Rey lands on his feet on the apron, and hits a rana that sends Juvi back into the ring. A standing moonsault gets a very close 2. Gutwrench powerbomb gets 2! Juvi tries to get something going, but walks into the West Coast Pop for 2. Juvi comes back with a brainbuster, and heads up for some violence. The guillotine legdrop misses, giving Rey a chance to go to the top. He flies with a rana, hooks the legs on the follow through, and scores the pin at 5:28. Great Saturday night main event, bravo gents! ***1/2
MIKE TENAY shows a “history” of Hogan and Savage, going back as far as 2 months ago. Then he introduces RANDY SAVAGE, who wants to know if Hogan’s willing to spit on his grave? He’s further than rock bottom, and can’t go no further. He tells Tenay he probably has no idea of his real history with Hogan, but it goes back a little further than Bash at the Beach (hah!). This time, he’s pulling Hogan’s life support system. Tenay asks about Liz. She’s out of his life, and he’s a man of the 90’s who’s gotta do what he’s gotta do. I imagine he’s referring to this:

See you for Worldwide.

WCW Prime: September 16, 1996

Yesterday’s Nitro recap
generated some counter-arguments to my Sting stance. Look, I *know* that the
end game is amazing, and from a writing perspective, everything surrounding
Sting right now is fantastic. My stance, however, is that Sting, as a character,
right now is behaving like, and I say this respectfully, a giant pussy.
Sting was immediately
vindicated, not after a month of back and forth, but within about 10 minutes of
him announcing “yo friends, I’m not nWo”. Can’t cooler heads prevail here? Sting
sulking around for a week, silently steaming and carefully watching his friends’
reactions to see if maybe, just maybe, he might catch a twinkle in their eye
for old Sting? This move is not only out of Every Wife’s Playbook, it is the
first chapter.
Sting needs to
understand, that when you hear his voice clearly state his loyalty to the nWo,
followed by Luger getting assaulted by someone who looks just like Sting, that all
things considered, “IT WAS MY EVIL TWIN~!” usually isn’t going to cut it in the
real world.
Of course, none of this
matters TODAY, because this is WCW Prime. A show, as always, brought to you by
the smiling face of Johnny B Badd in the opening credits.

CHRIS CRUISE and DUSTY RHODES are all
talk about Halloween Havoc. Yo, Fall Brawl just ended YESTERDAY, you think
maybe we can touch on that a little? Wait, you mean they don’t have the results
because this was pre-taped about 4 years ago? Well then!
THE ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS vs. BUTCH LONG and
BILL PAYNE
I am greatly saddened
that, in the strange world of WCW Prime, that we aren’t treated to footage of
Ricky Morton crossing paths with Todd Morton backstage. Would Todd seek support
from his unwilling mentor? Might Ricky tremble, believing to be staring into a
mirror from 2 decades earlier? Would they just lie around, desperately trying
to crawl to the buffet table for a snack, just coming up short time and again?
Payne and Long continue to impress, using each other as weapons, suplexing each
other on the ever-selling Morton. Alas, they are not rewarded for their steady
improvement, as Long misses a top rope guillotine legdrop, bringing in the
fresh Gibson. Double dropkick at 5:02 sends
the Express to the pay windah. **
JIM POWERS vs. MANNY FERNANDEZ
Dusty Rhodes doesn’t have
a lot of use for anyone who wrestles Fernandez, though he tries to throw a
little love to Powers, as a guy who “came in through the back door”. That’s how
Triple H rose to power, you know. Cruise is so enthralled by this A-level
matchup, that he starts listing upcoming house shows. Powers uses all his
favorite moves, the headfirst slam to the buckle, the punch to the gut, and his
finisher, the powerslam at 3:14. DUD
HIGH VOLTAGE SUCKS vs. PRINCE IAUKEA and LEROY
HOWARD
Dusty admits he has no
idea who Iaukea and Howard are, even though they wrestle semi-regularly on this
program. Howard channels his inner Brock Lesnar, unleashing a flurry of
hiptosses. Cruise starts selling Iaukea as a Power Plant success, just based on
the fact that only 10% of guys who apply are still there after a week. Of
course, that’s likely due to the fact that the head trainer is a wrestling
cannibal, and the only reason Iaukea’s been left alone is because of his Samoan
blood (which is poisonous to leprechauns). Cruise starts openly questioning
which guy is Kaos, and which one is Rage – asking how in the hell he could
possibly tell them apart? Of course, Dusty Rhodes is no genius, and even HE
points out that Kaos has a lot of blonde hair, and Rage does not have much hair
at all. Cruise: “How am I supposed to remember that?” For the love of god.
Doomsday Device finishes at 6:53. *
JOHN TENTA vs. FIDEL “BARRIO” SIERRA
Tenta continues to sport
the half-shaved look, because it’s how he “remembers”. I’d prefer to forget
everything about that insipid feud, not to mention that even Bubba has moved on
to worrying about “Glacier”. Tenta is not at his finest here, moving at the
speed of a “glacier”. Shark Attack finishes at 2:34. DUD
SERGEANT CRAIG PITTMAN (with Teddy Long) vs. CHRIS
BENOIT (in the Prime Cut Moo Match of the Week)
Yuck – we’ve done this to
death, and it’s been no good. I don’t even have Nick Patrick to referee here,
with the lingering threat of something dastardly. Which is unfortunate, now
would be an ideal time to do something, nobody is watching at home, and the
fans in attendance are transported pieces of Disney’s “It’s A Small World”
ride. Pittman works Benoit on the mat, while Cruise starts reading from the TV
Guide (on this day, Perry Mason, Jackie Gleason, and M*A*S*H* debuted, he
informs us). I have to imagine at this point, Cruise and Dusty were well aware
that Prime had been cancelled, and were at the point of verbal constipation –
no shits given. Benoit starts stomping on limbs, but Pittman just gets mad,
selling nothing. Benoit moves to a rear chinlock, which is pointless because
Pittman’s head was allegedly formed by rocks according to announcer lore.
Brains too, I reckon. The fans are totally into this, yelling and screaming,
because the big sign that reads “STAND AND CHEER” are lit up like a Christmas
tree. Fans start chanting USA, which is technically correct but I don’t imagine
they know this. Pittman hits a sunset flip, but Benoit’s in the ropes. He keeps
coming, with a “balleh to balleh”, but Benoit kicks out at 2. The battering ram
knocks the wind out of Benoit, and Pittman calls for Code Red, but Benoit
squirms to safety. Pittman charges with an avalanche, but Benoit awkwardly
lifts his legs to block it, and pins Pittman with his feet on the ropes at 11:20. I totally understand that
Pittman and Benoit are probably the biggest stars to ever show up for these
tapings, but we don’t need to book them together anymore. Or Pittman at all.
*1/2
The announcers go back to
their Halloween Havoc talk. Cruise believes Savage will defeat Hogan at the
PPV. I don’t want predictions unless they’re ludicrous; like maybe Hogan shows
up wearing the wig/mullet from his 3 Ninjas Movie. Ha ha, that would never
happen, which is a real shame.

No Prime next week,
because apparently my collection is missing it. Which is a real shame, that’s
the show that features the 30-minute Iron Man between Benoit and Guerrero in a
5-star barn burner, and the main event is Ric Flair and Arn Anderson against
the Steiners inside Hell in a Cell. I wouldn’t lie to you, would I?