WWE Crown Jewel: October 31, 2019

I actually had no intentions of doing this for a third time. Not because I harbor any kind of need to call to action the WWE’s removal of their Saudi Arabian business. Quite the opposite actually, I actually wish they’d run ALL their shows from Saudi Arabia. There’s an incomparable air of stupidity that emanates from these show; like a Mr. Tito column, they reek of unwarranted arrogance, never end, and get progressively worse as they go.

Instead, I actually had other Real Life commitments that stood in the way. With no legend matches promised (what am I without The Kane or Goldberg and his new Jackbuster?), I wasn’t going to juggle anything. That was until Braun Strowman promised to “literally” eat Tyson Fury for lunch. The second I hear a literal promise of cannibalism on a show taking place from a country with some questionable legal ramifications surrounding human rights, I knew I had to be here. Literally seeing a boxer eaten? I haven’t been this excited since I heard Saved by the Bell was going to be rebooted.

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