To prevent the other threads from being hijacked by NBA playoffs discussions (since games are taking place throughout the day), or the day’s MLB and NHL action, here’s this one!
Talk about everything going on tonight here
Talk about everything going on tonight here.
May 2, 1987
From the Joyce Athletic & Convocation Center in South Bend, IN
Your hosts are Jesse “The Body” Ventura and Vince McMahon
We get promos to hype tonight’s matches which include: “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs. George “The Animal” Steele in a Lumberjack Match, British Bulldogs vs. Hart Foundation for the Tag Team Titles in a 2/3 Falls Match, and Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat vs. Hercules. Plus, Andre the Giant & Bobby Heenan tells us why Andre really won the title from Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania III and more.
We are shown footage of Ken Patera destroying Bobby Heenan after their debate on “Superstars of Wrestling.”
Kamala w/ Mr. Fuji & Kimchee vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts
Before the match, Okerlund interviewed Fuji about Kamala’s fear of snakes in an interesting bit. The match starts with Kamala fleeing the ring after Jake dumps Damien on the mat. Kamala then attacks Jake from behind as he was distracted. Jake fights back until he runs into a throat thrust. Kamala grabs a bearhug that Jake is able to escape from. Jake stomps Kamala’s feet then works the arm until Kamala chops him down then chokes Jake out on the mat. Kimchee orders Kamala to attack Jake, who then starts to fight back. Kamala lands a few headbutts then Jake outsmarts him as he catches Kamala with a kneelift. Jake hits another kneelift then signals for the DDT as the crowd goes nuts but Fuji distracts the ref then Kimchee sneaks in the ring and nails Jake in the back of the head as that allows Kamala to hit the splash for the win (4:18) *1/2. After the match, Kimchee takes off his hat then suit as he reveals himself as the Honky Tonk Man, complete in his own suit. Honky beats on Jake before hitting the Shake, Rattle, and Roll. After that, Honky grabs the mic and thanks the fans, who boo him in return.
Thoughts: Having Honky as Kimchee was clever and it kept his feud with Jake hot. Honky was rapidly becoming a top heel in the company at this point. Poor Jake has certainly been jobbing a lot since turning face. He was still insanely over though.
“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs. George “The Animal” Steele
Lumberjacks include: Hart Foundation, British Bulldogs, Can-Am Connection, Danny Davis, Honky Tonk Man, Kimchee, Ricky Steamboat, Hercules, Tito Santana, Iron Sheik, and Nikolai Volkoff. Steamboat walks Steele to the ring and while he is inside, Hercules trips him up to sell their match later in the show. Savage starts the match by attacking Steele from behind for licking Elizaberh’s hands. Steele fights back and knocks Savage outside as the heels help him out for a minute. Savage tries to roll out but the faces prevent him. Savage and Steele go back and forth as neither man can gain an advantage until Savage hits an axe handle from the top then sends Steele to the floor, where the heels beat him down until Duggan chases them away with the 2×4 then goes in the ring as the lumberjacks fight with themselves. Duggan gets sent to the locker room then back from break we see Steele headbutt Davis. Back inside, Steele eats a turnbuckle then throws the stuffing at Savage, who comes back with a knee smash. Savage then hits a suplex but shortly after that gets tossed to the floor where Steamboat throws him back into the ring. Steele bites Savage then tosses Savage, who hits Steamboat and that triggers a brawl as Davis sneaks inside and whacks Steele with the bell as Savage hits the flying elbow smash for the win (6:44) **1/4. After the match everyone starts brawling in the ring then Jake Roberts comes out with his ribs taped up and holding Damien as Honky bails but Jake wraps Damien around Kimchee.
Thoughts: The action between the lumberjacks kept this match entertaining as there was always something happening here. This was also billed as possibly the last time Steele would wrestle Savage and see Elizabeth too.
Gene Okerlund is with Andre the Giant and Bobby Heenan, sporting a neckbrace from the attack by Patera, in a pre-taped interview. Andre and Heenan say they were cheated and that the officials always back Hogan and has footage to prove this as they claim the referee counted to three as the camera angle was so that Andre’s body was blocking the view and you could see the arm motions from the referee. Heenan and Andre then demand an investigation. The three count thing is a little weak in terms of building up a rematch but they needed something to go off of while keeping Andre strong so it could have been worse I suppose.
Best of Three Falls
WWF Tag Team Title Match
British Bulldogs vs. Hart Foundation w/ Jimmy Hart & Danny Davis
The crowd goes nuts as Matilda bites Jimmy Hart as Jesse goes off about how the Bulldogs should be in jail for that. Match starts with Davey and Bret going back and forth for a bit. Davey catches Bret with a monkey flip and a crucifix but runs into a knee. Neidhart tags and hammers away as the Hart Foundation cheat behind the referee’s back. The Hart Foundation continues to neutralize Davey until he gets his knees up on a charging Bret. Dynamite makes the tag and picks up Bret by the hair. Clothesline gets two. Snap suplex gets two. Neidhart breaks up another pin attempt then Davis stomps on Davey outside as Tito chases him around then goes in the ring after the bell rings as the Bulldogs win the first fall by DQ due to double-teaming by the Hart Foundation (4:34). The second fall starts with Dynamite getting destroyed. He mounts a brief comeback and tries to make the tag but Neidhart runs in and stops that. He then puts Dynamite in a front facelock as Davey chases Bret and Davis around the ring. Back to the match as Dynamite is busted open and back to getting his ass kicked. Bret misses a charge and that allows Dynamite to make the tag. Davey runs wild and gets a few nearfalls on Neidhart but ducks his head and gets kicked. Neidhart accidentally knocks Bret to the apron then Tito runs in and knocks Davis off of the apron as Davey tags Dynamite and launches him at Neidhart for the pin as the crowd goes berserk, thinking the Bulldogs have won the titles (9:48) **1/2. However, as Jesse laughs on commentary, we learn that you cannot win the title on a DQ, which took place in the first fall so the Hart Foundation retains.
Thoughts: This match was solid and given Dynamite’s injuries was probably the best they could have done. Hart Foundation took care of Dynamite when they were on offense as he did not take any high impact moves. Its also sad to see Dynamite perform is snap suplex at this point, seeing how the move did not have any snap to it at all. This feud continues.
Okerlund is with Hulk Hogan and asks him about wrestling Andre. Hogan talks about how all of the Hulkamaniacs were behind him and calls the comments of Heenan and Andre about an investigation ridiculous but if they want a rematch, they can have one, but they will not strip him of the title.
Hercules w/ Bobby Heenan vs. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat
Backstage, Savage is shown watching the match on a monitor backstage as he rants about getting his IC Title back, wanting Steamboat to keep the belt so he can personally take it back from him. Hercules works the back until Steamboat comes back with a pair of dropkicks. He sends Hercules outside then hammers away. Back inside, Hercules pulls Steamboat into the ringpost as we get an insert of Savage shown rooting for Steamboat to win. Steamboat fights back and hits a swinging neckbreaker then hammers away until Hercules pokes his eyes and puts on the full nelson. Savage is shown taking off from the monitor as he runs into the ring and pulls Hercules into the ropes as Heenan yells at him. Hercules comes out and stands around as Steamboat is on the mat. Back from break, Hercules heads up top but Steamboat gets his knees up on the splash attempt. Hercules comes back with a slam then misses an elbow drop then a charge. Steamboat fights back with chops until Hercules comes back with an inverted atomic drop. Heenan tosses the chain into the ring as Hercules uses it to choke out Steamboat for the DQ (6:42) **. Hercules continues to choke him as Savage looks conflicted then says that Steamboat’s the winner as he has a few words with Heenan and Hercules as they head backstage. Savage then heads inside to help Steamboat as the ref orders him out but he instead he heads up top and hits the flying elbow smash.
Thoughts: The match itself was fine but they sure didn’t make Steamboat look too strong here as he only retained because of a DQ then took Savage’s finisher after the match.
Okerlund is with Duggan, who is sitting ringside to make sure Volkoff does not sing the Russian National Anthem.
Can-Am Connection vs. Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff
Before the match we get a promo from Slick, stating how he is getting down with the Communist Party. Duggan chases Volkoff away as he began to sing then leads the crowd into a pro-USA chant. The match starts with the Can-Ams taking control of the match. Sheik boots Zenk then hits a gutwrench suplex for two. The crowd rallies behind Zenk as Sheik suplexes him around as the heels are isolating Zenk in their corner. Sheik puts Zenk in an abdominal stretch then catches him with a clothesline. The heels then toss the Can-Ams to the floor and attack then Duggan yells at them, eventually hopping the railng and that allows Martel to surprise Volkoff with a reverse rollup for the win (4:45) *1/2. After the match its 3-1 against Duggan after they toss the Can-Ams to the floor. The faces then run off the heels after that.
Thoughts: Basic match that did more to push Duggan than anything else.
Final Thoughts: Not a bad show at all. No memorable matches or anything but the show breezed by and Savage came off looking like a huge star. They also teased a Hogan/Andre rematch and that is huge news as well. This show apparently did a terrible advance at the box office and they added a Hogan & Patera vs. Hercules & Andre match after this show was taped in order to boost ticket sales.
On tap for tonight:
parameters, and Cyborgs being pumped out at a furious rate, we board the
mothaship with our good friends TONY
SCHIAVONE and DUSTY RHODES.
Dusty vows to talk about Roddy Piper. Good, I was worried.
MIKE ENOS (no data in 1997) vs. THE STEINER BROTHERS (4-0-1)
tried working together, they wound up getting into a kerfuffle which I HAVE to
assume is related to their mutual love-triangle with one very confused Dick
Slater. The Base of the Isosceles
would be a fine name for this pair. It would be especially glorious given that
Buck has no idea what an isosceles triangle is, let alone how to pronounce it.
Buck rides Scotty like a hog, but don’t mistake the leather fetish for a
submissive horndog, because he’d rather kill you than squeal. He stands up out
of the clutch to hoist Buck into an electric chair position, and the bulldog
finishes this as quickly as it started at 1:55.
MOUSTACHE is very intrigued by CHRIS
BENOIT and WOMAN. Apparently
Sullivan’s signed Benoit and himself to a Death Match. Benoit giggles at the
idea, and asks if Sullivan’s looking to have his mind, career, or life ended.
He vows to abuse Sullivan before finishing him for good. I swear to god, I
could take the last 6 months worth of Saturday Night episodes and release them
as a special documentary called “The Premeditation of Chris Benoit” and I’d
immediately be hired to replace Keith Morrison on Dateline NBC.
after serving his 6 month punishment in his room for trying to clean the
Dungeon fountain with water that’s Not Cold. He knows better. Chavo takes down Maxx and goes for an early pin, but that
just gets him thrown about 48 feet in the air. A forward electric chair drop
sets up an elbow, and before you know it he’s swinging Chavo around in the
Masterlock and that’s that at 1:42.
Dusty asks if Maxx has ever actually visited the Pay Windah, which of course is
no because he’s still on probation and has to go straight home as soon as his
match is over. DUD
the two or three greatest moments of my life, and they haven’t even started
fighting yet. I don’t think my keyboard’s going to be able to take the asterisk
pounding I’m about to put on it. My hands are trembling in anticipation for
this, I can’t take it. I don’t even care that Sledge Hammer is a renamed
hits a Stinger Splash! The big man is down! This is your chance, Sledge!
Roadblock gets back to his feet, but Hammer rakes the eyes. Since it worked so
well the first time, Sledge tries another Stinger Splash – but Roadblock
moves!!! He MUST be fast, because otherwise there’s simply no excuse to miss a
target that large! Roadblock picks up Sledge Hammer because he’s 500 pounds of
rock solid steel, and the Dead End Drop finishes this at 1:07! I’m sure you were able to pick up on it from my in depth
play-by-play, and I have little doubt in my mind that everybody reading this
has seen this classic at one time or another, but in the event you suffer from
a bad case of the wnyxmcneal (and you should NEVER go full wnyxmcneal), this is
the single most important event that took place for humankind since The Big
Bang. 4.54 billion stars, in honor of the age of our planet.
know I’d reap the dividends so quickly! 11 straight losses to start the year
for this pair, which is awful considering even Jerry Lynn won a match on WCW
Pro once. Calo dropkicks JL to the floor, and shows off the flash with a
somersault plancha WITHOUT losing his toque. Calo goes to finish up top, but JL
blocks with a dropkick. A kick to the face fails to knock Calo’s glasses off,
so either JL needs to work on his kicks, or those things have been laced with
Kra-Z Gloo. Calo takes a powder, but JL flies off the top with a plancha. Calo
recovers and whips JL into the guardrail, using the extra recovery time to pose
for his legions of Caloticons. JL tries to get back in the ring, but a swinging
dropkick knocks his ass backwards, and another somersault plancha follows
because Calo is a man of routine and style. Calo heads up, but he’s caught
again, and this time JL DDT’s him off the top. Calo smartly puts his foot on
the ropes at 2. JL goes up, but a dropkick stops that, and Calo hits a super
headscissors. A senton finishes at 3:50!
Dusty: “That’s a big win for Calo!” You don’t even know, Dusty. **
MALENKO is all up in LEE MARSHALL’s
area. Syxx has somehow earned his second PPV title shot in a row because he
stole Deano’s gold. Malenko tells us a story about a 16 year old kid who begged
and pleaded to be trained in order to become a part of this industry. (Spoiler:
It’s not Mass Transit) And his dad took this kid under his wing, teaching him
both in-ring skills, but also respect. And that person … was Syxx. I love a
surprise ending. That’s not exactly a glowing endorsement of Boris Malenko’s
training, because he has no respect, and he never wrestles. Dean vows to beat
some respect into him. And if that doesn’t work, he’ll have an unshowered Hugh
Morrus sit naked on him while screaming offensive names until he gives the belt
match and got ideas for future gimmicks. It wasn’t until he named himself after
a heavy blunt object and embraced his inner Ugly that he got over. Young
wrestlers around the country could learn something from this, and I look
forward to seeing Tire Iron make his debut in NXT soon. Storm shoves Page into
the corner, which draws some big yuks. I think that’s code for “you’re a dead
man”. A pumphandle backbreaker sets up the Cutter, but Storm pokes the eyes!
Dusty buries him anyway. “Devon Storm hasn’t shown me that WCW is the place
that he should be.” A tornado DDT plants Page, and Dusty’s forced to eat his
words, which is fine because Dusty’s never turned down a free meal. Page hits a
back elbow, and bounces off the bottom rope with a Diamond Cutter at 2:58. Page continues to roll. *1/2
fighting the finest group of losers ever assembled in one building, it’s only
fair Benoit gets to do the same. And Pearl should be easy pickins, seeing as
how he’s abandoned his wrestling career for that of an ice ballerina.
skates his way loose with a pirouette. Tony has some concerning news: The
Steiner Brothers have been involved in a car accident. The extent of the crash
is unknown, and they’re hoping for an update on WCW Pro. Wait – that’s not
fair! I don’t have a copy of WCW Pro (because you KNOW I’d be recapping it).
Now I’ll never know what happened to them, because they certainly won’t want to
repeat themselves on multiple shows. Hrmph. I don’t even care anymore that
Benoit’s beating Pearl into a mountain of hamburger, or that he drags Billy by
the hair and makes him kneel before Woman to Show Her Respect. She claws at his
eyes, and because he fails to answer with “GIVE ME MORE MISTRESS”, it’s back to
Benoit and that’s not a good thing. Pearl tries to put Benoit in an inside
cradle, and he’s immediately hit with a release Dragon suplex for his
insolence. Benoit applies the Crossface, which is the debut of that move, and
Pearl taps quickly at 4:10. *1/2
lately”. THE PUBLIC ENEMY look on
from the crowd, and I’ll give them credit for dedication to their craft, seeing
as how they fly out to and buy tickets to every single show they’re not booked
on. Stevie hits Rage with a bicycle kick, and all of 4 seconds into this match
he’s run through his entire moveset. Booker comes in and takes a powerslam. Stevie
re-enters, and he lifts Kaos in the air as Booker flies over top of his brother
with a Harlem Sidekick for the win at 3:26.
Dusty calls Harlem Heat “The Faces of Fear” which is offensive to African
Americans, Samoans, and me. 1/2*
McMichael. I hope he doesn’t try to start an “afar” with her. Rhodes also gives
Jarrett his stamp of approval for the Horsemen, and considering Dusty *hates*
the Horsemen, that should give you all the reasons you need NOT to put him in
the group. I considered briefly that he anticipated that they’d ignore his
advice, and that he’s using reverse psychology, but assuming Dusty’s thoughts
extend beyond whatever’s flowing out of his mouth is giving him far too much
credit. Villano almost scores an upset with a powerslam. A swandive misses, and
Jarrett POINTS TO HIS HEAD! If intelligence was measured by log rolls and Fargo
struts, Jeff Jarrett would be spending his nights debunking Stephen Hawking,
and using John Nash’s research as toilet paper. A DDT gets 2. A standing
vertical suplex has Jarrett self-fellating, but his cockiness gets him rolled
up for 2. That’s all Villano’s getting I’m afraid, because a single leg atomic
drop sets up the Figure Four, and Jarrett wins again at 4:34. *
MARSHALL’s personal locker room, and wants to talk Superbrawl. He says that
ever since Flair knighted him 6 months ago, a group of jealous Horsemen have
tried to knock him down. At Starrcade, he bested Benoit. A few weeks ago on
Nitro, he knocked off Anderson. That leaves Mongo, and when he does, he expects
to become a part of the most elite group in wrestling history.
in WCW. That name, of course, is Jobber, because he’s never won a match, and
the only TV time he gets anymore is under the hood as Cheetah Kid (0-3-0). He’s
also awful, and *nobody* is clamouring for a Prince push, so let’s just squash
him and release him immediately. He has NO reason to be on Nitro this week.
NONE! I do NOT want to see him booked on Nitro under any circumstances. Are
we all clear on this? Morrus starts running him over with clotheslines – and
one of them winds up hitting the camera lens and leaving a fairly impressive
fist print. Morrus misses an avalanche, and Prince comes off the top with a
Superfly Splash … for 2. Prince tries a forward roll, but Morrus just faceplants
him. A long beating ensues, and fight as Prince may, he can’t get anything
going. A spinning heel kick rocks the tiny man, and No Laughing Matter
connects. Morrus refuses to pin his prey, rolling Prince on top of himself and
getting his own foot on the ropes at the 2 before laughing his ass off. Finally
he rolls over and gets the pin at 3:54.
You know who Prince looks NOTHING like? Rocky Maivia. It’s best we not waste
time trying to compare them. In fact, let’s just stop talking about Prince
Iaukea before WCW gets any crazy ideas. *
title mix. Konan, always a scumbag, attacks before the bell and screams about
Mexico. Eddie fires back with a rana, but Konan rolls to the floor and catches
him as he tries to follow. Eddie’s whipped into the guardrail, and slammed face
first in the ringsteps. “DUNGEON OF DOOM LOCOS!” Oh. Back in, the tumbleweed
gets 2, and Konan goes to his trademark: the chinlock. After about an hour,
Eddie gets out, but Konnan catches him with Splash Mountain … for 2! Konan’s
not mad though, he still has Mexico to scream about, which is his equivalent of
hulking up. An avalanche misses, and Eddie pounds away at the kidneys. A
spinning heel kick gets 2, and even though he gets up first, Konan dropkicks
Eddie quickly. A full nelson has Eddie flailing helplessly, and he accidently
clips the referee. Jimmy jumps on the apron, and swings the megaphone … but
he pops Konan by mistake! Eddie hits the Frog Splash, and Jimmy runs in for the
DQ at 4:56. These guys are a total
bore together. 1/2*
on the Steiner Brothers, Tony signs us off for another week.
Talk about everything going on tonight here
Viewer discretion is advised.
lobe. Viewer discretion is advised.)
an Amtracks train, and is driving us straight to hell. THIS … is Shotgun
the best use of Sunny they could find at this point?
NATION OF DOMINATION (with Clarence Mason, D’Lo Brown, and a Well Dressed Man)
no fewer than 80 hobos have taken advantage of the warmth from “under the
ring”. Sunny brags about being the most downloaded celebrity on AOL, and
implies Phineas spends his nights pleasuring himself to her 1.4 million photos.
Give me a break; Phineas couldn’t possibly configure a dial connectoid, there’s
no chance. Mason joins the commentary team, and, interesting fact of the day:
after leaving WCW about 15 years ago, he headed south to Florida to work as an
actual attorney, which he still does today. The fans take to this match right
away, starting up a “BWO” chant that continues throughout the entire match.
After the Godwinns clear the ring, and a “NATION SUCKS DICK” chant breaks out,
we turn to…
interviewing a toothless black man in the front row who he claims is his dentist.
Just … why?!?
ringside, which Mason celebrates because the Nation always sticks together. Off
Henry, and he’s rolled back to Crush for 2. Crush does a whole lot of nothing,
before he turns things over to Faarooq who helps the attack with a boring pile
of nada. After far too many minutes of this, Phineas gets the hot tag and the
fans fall asleep. Vega interferes, so Phineas grabs him by the throat, but
Crush saves. The Slop Drop is attempted, but Faarooq clotheslines him behind
the referees back and Crush gets the pin at 10:00. Negative stars are becoming tradition on this insipid
HEARST HELMSLEY struts towards the building. TODD PETTENGILL asks him if he’s afraid of losing his title
tonight? Hunter figures he’d sooner ride the Subway than lose a match to the
THE UNDERTAKER (for the WWF Intercontinental title)
she claims a distaste for men with long hair. Sunny, honey, even Chris
Candido’s gullible ass isn’t buying that line. You know, the Undertaker’s
mystique is one of the finest pieces of show business in wrestling today; but
something’s taken away when he arrives to a Subway station in front of about
200 fans, and enters the ring area via an escalator. The Dead Man charges the ring,
but Hunter’s waiting and throws a series of forearms. Taker shrugs that off,
and launches him with a double handed choke. A whip to the buckle sees the
referee get demolished, and he appears to be in a coma. Triple H upends Taker
with the IC belt, and we take a break.
audience, is back to calling this one. Hunter drops a knee, and nails a
facebuster to remain in control. A neckbreaker draws a pretty slow count from
the ref, and that little bit of extra time gives Taker the energy he needs to
just hammer Hunter with a soup bone. Hunter slams Taker’s face to the buckle,
but that’s no sold, so Hunter hits a desperation swinging neckbreaker for 2.
Triple H grabs his belt again to defend himself, but Taker steals it away and
smacks Hunter in the face for the DQ at 4:20.
The fans call for the tombstone, but Taker compromises with a chokeslam, and
drapes the belt over the fallen champ. As he’s leaving, he changes his mind,
and figures he’ll tombstone him anyway. Triple H runs like hell, but gets
caught and tombstoned on the escalator – where Helmsley slowly rides back down
into the arms of a couple of referees. This was super spirited from both guys,
shockingly good given the time restraints and the tiny audience. ***
VEGA (with Clarence Mason, D’Lo Brown, and a Well Dressed Man)
to the floor. A plancha staggers Savio, and he’s nailed with a crossbody as he
rolls back in, getting 2 for the Portuguese Man of War. Vega comes back with
some loud ass chops, and whips Montoya into the corner with some oomph. Vince
asks Clarence if the Nation is planning on expanding, and Clarence says yes.
Hundreds of superstars (hundreds? There’s like all of 25 guys on the roster!)
are calling daily, but only a select few will be selected. And they chose Savio
Vega? Their scouting reports need a little work; wrestling SABRmetrics would go
a long way.
shows his Vince McMahon action figure to TODD
PETTENGILL, which he’s had since 1985. Todd: “You were, what, 40 at the
while Vega drops Montoya with a superkick. Aldo fights back, showing “shades of
Sugar Ray Leonard” (dah fock Vince?!?), but a clothesline stops that short. THE GODWINNS and their slop buckets
come down the staircase. I can’t imagine slop is in high demand down at Penn
Station, but I’m willing to bet feces are over-stocked, so I’d tread REAL
carefully if I were the Nation, lest they want the plague or whatever the hell
else you’ll catch down there. Vega works a nerve hold, and I’ve seriously had
enough of him. Do we honestly have another full year of this guy to worry about
before he’s gone? The Nation tries to get involved, but the Godwinns stop them
short, and they pose with their new friend Aldo. We’ll call this a no contest at 8:20 since we never got a closing
bell, and head right into…
vs. THE NATION OF DOMINATION (with Clarence Mason, D’Lo Brown, and a Well
particular program, so everyone’s pulling double duty just to flesh out an
entire hour of programming. Aldo hits a DDT on Crush, while we check in with …
man, and they start to throw down! This *looks* fake, but I won’t rule out a
real fight from this particular trashy group.
with Vega working his crappy offense over Montoya. Faarooq tags in and eat a
neckbreaker. Montoya comes up a half inch short of the tag before Vega cuts him
off. He and Crush double team him with what can only be described as
wheelbarrow dry humping, and the fans give them a well-deserved “BORRRRRING”
chant. Vince: “Clarence, what can you say about the fact that the fans here are
bored with the Nation of Domination’s act?” Clarence: “It’s not the Nation,
it’s Aldo Montoya.” Vince: “I don’t think so.” This could get real ugly.
Faarooq goes for the Dominator, but Montoya slips down with a backslide for 2.
To counter the fans boredom, the Nation slow down the action. Vega hits an
enzuigiri for 2. Aldo tries to fight off a front-face lock, and he makes the
tag, but it comes as the referee is tied up with the Nation and he refuses to
allow it. They repeat the front-face lock spot again, but this time Montoya
escapes with a slam and heads to the top rope because he’s got coleslaw for
brains. A missile dropkick gets 2 before all hell breaks loose between both
teams, and everyone pairs off. Phineas grabs the slop to chase off D’Lo Brown
who was looking too comfortable, while Vega finishes Aldo with a spinning heel
kick at 8:51. Much better than the
shot with the bucket, and nails PAT
PATTERSON who’s been directing traffic. Vince takes one look at the rainbow
colored sweater of Patterson, and quips “that sweater’s been slopped before”.
founded the Guardian Angels, chats with TODD
PETTENGILL. He threatens to give the Nation a wake-up call.
Vince replays Patterson covered in a sticky white mess, yukking it up one last
time, as the credits roll.
subway station concept was scrapped as soon as this show went off the air, and
because they had nothing planned for next week, a “Best of” special is planned,
looking back at all the greatest moments of these last 6 weeks. Following that,
it’s arena content moving forward.
environment they were playing with did have its quirks. Had they been able to
massage their nonsense with tighter work, like what we’d seen out of Steve
Austin and Mankind on this program, they’d have been able to out-do ECW’s own
concept. Unfortunately, Vince was far too obsessed with shocking people, and
running Savio Vega out every week for 10 minute matches, and that kind of
format wasn’t going to work out in the long run.
afraid to push the boundaries of the TV constraints they were handed, and come
hell or high water, Vince was going to do it his new way, or fall on his sword
trying. More on that, on Thursdays RAW.
Talk about everything going on tonight here
On tap for tonight:
House of Hardcore VIII is live on iPPV tonight. You can stream the event for $14.99 by clicking on the link below.
Boxing Returns to NBC starting at 8:30pm EST. fights include Keith Thurman vs. Robert Guerrero and Adrien Broner vs. John Molina.
The NBA has eight games on the schedule tonight with the Phoenix Suns vs. Cleveland Cavalies at 7:30pm EST on NBA TV.
In the NHL there are nine games on tonight with the St. Louis Blues vs. Toronto Maple Leafs at 7pm EST on the NHL Network.
SNL is all new tonight with host Chris Hemsworth and musical guest Zac Brown Band at NBC on 11:29pm EST tonight.
No shoot interview poll this week as the Curt Hawkins shoot will be recapped on Thursday at noon.
And as usual, talk about anything else going on tonight here.
two guys had better psychology.
amongst some of the worst TV imaginable, he was a huge Mick Foley supporter and
I have very little doubt a full-fledged blood feud would have generated some
incredible stuff. Heading into the fall of 1997, Dude Love trying to capture
his childhood dream of winning the WWF title against a guy he (kayfabe)
idolized in the mid-80’s versus a grouchy old anti-American gets my blood
tingling. But, French Canadian cities ruin everything.
we’re back at the Mirage, home of the first laughably bad edition of Shotgun
Saturday Night! Walking around the streets of New York is PAUL BEARER with the urn. His beloved Mankind has been missing for
2 hours. A smart phone could have solved so many problems in the 90’s. MANKIND emerges from a dark alley and
nearly gets run over by a car. VADER
angrily grills him about his whereabouts, which is when Mick confesses that
last week’s grinding, dancing, and sex has created a new Man(Kind), and the
club is his calling. His sick, half-crazed grin just seals this segment,
Mankind is the boss.
quickly run down the card, but I’m not one to spoil these things! This show
looks like it was filmed in the dark ages, with half the crowd smoking indoors
and nobody giving it a second thought.
vs. AHMED JOHNSON
into the building, and starts crawling around the stripper stage before
spotting Sunny at the announce table. She beats it out of there faster than
Usain Bolt, so Mick takes over commentary. He admits the headset feels
comfortable against his missing ear. Vince invites him to stay, and Mankind is
happy to oblige, rocking back and forth in the guest chair while Sunny holds
her nose to cover up the vile smell. Vince cheers on Ahmed’s decision to carry
a 2×4 as “the great equalizer”, but Mankind calls him a coward. “We are NOT the
Nation of Domination, and might I mention Uncle Paul is a man of peace! So I
say for Ahmed Johnson to carry that weapon in here should be an automatic
disqualification, and a disgrace to people like me!” Why wasn’t this guy put on
commentary, he’s awesome. I’ll need to get in Vince’s ear and make it happen.
Vader shows off his enormous arms and pounds Ahmed in the corner, and Mankind
declares Johnson on “queer street”. “HIT HIM FOR ME BIG MAN!” Ahmed no sells a
number of clotheslines, and begs Vader to hit him again. Vader obliges, and
Johnson hits the mat faster than Gabby Jay. Still, he gets up with some rage in
his eyes, and he clobbers Vader in the corner. Vince tries to set Sunny and
Mankind up together, and Sunny nearly vomits before Mick lays the smack down:
“Don’t flatter yourself hunny, I have eyes for that girl who had eyes for me
last week!” Vader is kicked to the floor, so Mankind hits the ring to “keep the
peace” as we take a break.
taken a bit of a beating from Ahmed. He’s livid, because even though Ahmed has
a pea-sized brain, he figures it should have been clear he wasn’t looking for a
fight considering he’s wearing his Sunday Best (consisting of a ratty old
jean-winter jacket, green pants he likely found in a dumpster, and a cheetah
print tank top underneath a black t-shirt – with the mask, of course). In fact,
he’s feeling so good he probably won’t even change his clothes tomorrow either.
I don’t even care about the match, I just want to listen to Mankind give us his
views on every single hot button topic in the WWF. Vader goes to finish with
the Vaderbomb, but Johnson stops that with a punt to the goods. Ahmed goes for
the Pearl River Plunge, so Mankind rushes in with a chair for the DQ at 6:05. Both guys tease heel
miscommunication, but they pull up short each time. Regardless, Ahmed steals
the chair and smacks both guys. Mankind, pride hurt, crawls back to the
announce table to put the headphones back on because the soft earpieces are a
newfound comfort that he has no interest in giving up. *
HEADBANGERS are pouring hot wax on themselves for self-entertainment.
MANKIND (with Paul Bearer)
here for a good time. He tells Vince to call in anyone else, figuring Aldo
Montoya would probably kill for a little TV time. Vince tells him to get his
ass in the ring, but he won’t – he needs to take his mind to a dark place to
inflict violence and he isn’t interested in hurting Davey today. Bulldog runs
over and rips Mankind’s clothes off, but Mick won’t fight back. They head into
the ring, and Bulldog works him over with more attention to detail than an
Asian masseuse. He kicks Mankind out of the ring and poses … completely missing
that Mankind is crawling right back to the commentary booth. “I JUST WANT TO
TALK!!!!” Davey kicks him in the face, so Mankind finally has enough and starts
hitting some throat thrusts. Back in, Mankind works to put Davey to sleep, and
you have to assume he’s just trying to get rid of him quickly so he can go back
to party. Bulldog backdrops Mankind over the top, and he lands leg first on the
stage in a particularly awkward looking position. He angrily grabs some TV
cables and chokes Bulldog down while Bearer wails.
crowd to talk to SAVIO VEGA, but
he’s ordered to get the hell out of his face NOW. Back to action!
starts lumbering down to ringside. A backdrop gets 2. Vince: “ANOTHER COOKOUT!
Wait, kickout. COOKOUT LATER!” That seems as fine a time as any for a
hard floor. It’s amazing he didn’t retire with ridiculous amounts of kidney damage.
They head back in and Bulldog goes to finish, but Mankind trips him up and
sends him outside. Vader gives Bulldog a couple of snake eyes shots across the
guardrail, and he’s rolled back in for the easy Mankind win at 6:42. Vader and Mankind pummel Bulldog
for awhile until AHMED JOHNSON saves
with his 2×4. The heels scatter, and Johnson sweats like a waterfall.
to Paul Bearer about what happened, but while he squeaks and carries on about
his Mankind and Vader, Bulldog has apparently taken exception to Ahmed’s
presence. Ahmed picks up half his broken 2×4, and Bulldog snatches the other,
but neither guy has the stones to take the first shot.
Double J hits the ring. Of course, he stinks, and Savio’s trying to tear his
face off within seconds. Savio somehow botches a snapmare, but James sells it
anyway and finds himself locked in an armbar. Savio goes for a ton of
consecutive pinfalls, but it’s no more successful the 4th time than
the 1st. A dangerous looking stuff piledriver connects; and it’s
amazing this thing didn’t cause more broken necks than … well, we’ll save that
for later in the year. A rear chinlock chews up more time off the clock, while
Phineas starts talking about Sunny’s slopping. She bats her eyes at Phineas and
tells him “we don’t want to talk about that, do we?”, and he turns beet red,
changing the subject immediately. James escapes with a jawbreaker, but Savio
claws the eyes and sits on James’ head while screaming at Phineas about the
power of the Nation. Phineas: “Is he speakin’ English?” Savio misses a blind
charge, and James nails a clothesline. Shake, rattle, and roll, strut, and
backdrop. The pumphandle slam is blocked, and Savio nails the spinning heel
kick for the pin at 8:36. If you
love 8 minutes of Absolutely Nothing, you’d dig this. For the rest of you, it
should come as no surprise to learn these guys *SUCK*. -***
throws up on THRASHER, and they eat
it off each other. For fuck sakes …
to the ring. This was actually the first match
they held on the first show, and it came in at a whopping -**, so we’ll see if
these teams can improve upon that tonight. Phineas bites Mosh, and I’m getting
a sinking feeling. Henry comes in and hits a backdrop, and for some reason Mosh
sells his eyes. A hiptoss is enough for Mosh, and Thrasher reluctantly makes
the tag. Still, he manages to gain control on Phineas, and a double team
clothesline has Mosh dancing around as we head to commercial.
Thrasher goes low, but Henry saves the day. Phineas gets wheelbarrowed across
the top rope, and Mosh hits a leapfrog … buttsplash I guess? He rolls to the
corner to get the hot tag to Henry (to absolutely ZERO reaction), and he takes
Thrasher to the floor where he’s slammed in front of the drunken clubbers. A
double countout is called at 5:07,
and it’s JUST in time because we need to get this show off the air NOW! DUD
“hour”, putting on what was easily amongst my favorite work of his that I’ve
seen. The match was nothing special, but he knows *exactly* who Mankind is and
how he wants to play him, never once breaking his twisted character. This was
an early template to the Vince/Mankind love-affair we’d seen in about 18
of prime-cut players, it’s just the dregs. Jesse James is barely someone you
can call a professional at this point (blood be damned), the tag-team division
is a disaster beyond maybe two teams (neither of whom were here tonight), and
the entire Nation of Domination really needs to go the hell away because the
whole group is just death to entertainment.
players are going to be, because they stand head and shoulders above everyone
else and it’s not even close. Mankind is God! The rest are peasants, and they
need to begone.
Talk about everything going on tonight here
On tap for tonight:
At 8pm EST on the WWE Network you can see the “Best of Hall of Fame” show as they highlight Gene Okerlund and Shawm Michaels. Then at 9:30pm EST you can watch the 7/29/89 episode of “Saturday Night’s Main Event.”
The NBA has 5 games on the schedule tonight. At 8pm EST the Phoenix Suns face off against the Chicago Bulls on NBA TV.
In the NHL there are 9 games tonight. At 9pm EST the Los Angeles Kings take on the San Jose Sharks over on NBC Sports.
College Basketball has several Nationally televised games tonight, highlighted by #3 Gonzaga vs. St. Mary’s at 10pm EST over on ESPN 2.
Also, the Koko B. Ware shoot interview won the poll and that recap will be posted Thursday at noon.
And as usual, talk about anything else going on tonight here.