Lightning Round: Worst Storylines

Lightning Round Challenge™: For some of the longer tenured rasslers on the WWE roster, what is the one angle that you can associate that them with and go “wow, someone was paid money to come up with this?” For a handful of those listed, I’m sure you could think of a dozen per person, but in this case, just the first one that pops to mind. As always, thanks for the years of entertainment and ripping apart those storylines to begin with. John Cena The Bray Wyatt feud.  Made no sense, went nowhere, destroyed Bray as a main event guy.  Kane Oh god, so many to choose from.  Probably the one where he was fighting the fake version of himself because reasons.  The Undertaker Speaking of fighting the fake version of yourself… Big Show Undertaker leaves him in the desert as training.  Randy Orton Wasn’t the Hogan storyline pretty stupid?  Triple H Katie Vick, boom.  Goldust TAFKA Goldust in general.  Which then leads to doomsday preacher Dustin Runnells and the return of the original Goldust character.  So bad all around.  Sting (got to get his name out there for potential Mania 32 rumors!) Black Scorpion, bitches. 

World Class Lightning Round

Scott….Going thru my VHS tapes purge has inspired me to ask: can you do a “World Class” version of the Lightning Round? If you could give me (your pick) the best (North America) match of the following:

Kerry Von Erich (overall)

He had some hellacious matches with Flair (duh) but my favorite was actually a match with Harley Race of all people, shortly before Kerry won the title.  It was on WWE 24/7 on some random themed month and it was GREAT. 

Kerry Von Erich (post amputation….after 1986-ish)

Jerry Lawer at Superclash, and it’s not even debatable.  Everything else he did with the missing foot was hot garbage.  

Bruiser Brody

I honestly haven’t seen more than about 3 Brody matches in my life.  He was before my time as a fan for the most part.  

Chris Adams

Discovering and training Steve Austin eclipses anything else he did in the business.  He had some great tag matches with Gino, but nothing I can think of off-hand.  Another guy who was basically before my time as a fan when he was peaking.  

Kevin Von Erich

Gotta be Flair.  

David Von Erich

Died before I even became a fan.  

Michael Hayes

One of the 80 million six-mans with the Von Erichs.  

Terry Gordy

He had a lot of great ones in All Japan.  

Gino Hernandez

Before my time.  I vagely remember the team with Chris Adams and saw some good stuff there, but otherwise I couldn’t judge.  

Abdullah the Butcher

Yeah OK then.  

Brian Adidas (talk about obscure…….)

No idea.  

Jimmy Garvin

Flair in the Precious cage match.  


(Also, going forward, which email is the best one to use?)

Obscure Wrestler Lightning Round

Good afternoon Mr. Keith.  When we hear “One of the Greatest matches of all time”, there is a lot of usual suspects.  But i’m curious on a couple childhood favorites of mine that I wonder if I ever even seen their greatest match.  Indulge me: None of these would be particularly “obscure”, I’d say.  Greg Valentine Most of his really great stuff came pre-WWF.  The dog collar match with Roddy Piper at Starrcade 83 would probably be the concensus pick, although he had some tremendous tag matches with Beefcake against the British Bulldogs.  There’s a really great one on an early SNME.  Tito Santana The IC title match with Mr. Perfect on SNME is likely his best major televised match.  The cage match where he regained the IC title from Valentine in 85 is also a hell of a deal.  Rick Martel He had some really good ones as AWA champion, but nothing I can remember vividly off-hand.  Bam Bam Bigelow He had some awesome ones in Japan.  A tag match with Vader against the Steiners comes to mind.  Big Bossman Probably the Hogan cage match.  Demolition I don’t think they ever had a definitive great one.  Against the Harts at Summerslam 90 or against the Rockers on SNME were probably their best.  Jake Roberts Most of his great ones were in Mid-South, well before he made it to the WWF.  Can’t think of a great definitive one off-hand.  Best from his WWF run would have to be the Randy Savage match at Tuesday In Texas, but even that was really short.  Rick Rude The Masa Chono NWA World title final is actually shockingly great.  Sid Vicious Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series 96, and it’s not even close.  Andre The Giant Probably something from Japan, although I’m blanking on specifics. 

IC Tournament Round Three: Groups BA-BD JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED!  Now I hope that a lesson was learned by everyone who thought that fixing the results of a professional wrestling match could lead to anything good.  And now, the other half of the third round: IC Tournament Group BA IC Tournament Group BB IC Tournament Group BC IC Tournament Group BD BONUS QUESTION: Should the Mountie be jailed for voter fraud after his loss?

IC Tournament Round Three: Groups AW-AZ Fair warning:  All voting from here on in will be IP-locked so no more bullshit spam voting like what people tried with the Miz in the Rock match.  Like, really, get a life.  You can vote one time every six hours, and that’s it.  Good luck to all.  Except the Mountie.  Fuck him. IC Tournament Group AW IC Tournament Group AX IC Tournament Group AY IC Tournament Group AZ

IC Tournament Round One: Final Groups Really, Marty Jannetty over Magnificent Muraco?  Do you think Marty could handle the acting skill of Fuji Vice while messed up on pills?  For shame. Here’s your last eight matches: IC Tournament Group Y IC Tournament Group Z IC Tournament Group AA IC Tournament Group AB IC Tournament Group AC IC Tournament Group AD IC Tournament Group AE IC Tournament Group AF

IC Tournament Round One: Groups Q-X

No more percentages because people are obviously rigging the votes somehow. Although much of this bracket is spectacular mismatches, there’s certainly one barnburner to be had with Savage-Angle. And how did we end up with “Dolph Ziggler” vs “Val Venis” as a match? Are we seeding by ridiculous names now? IC Tournament Group Q IC Tournament Group R IC Tournament Group S IC Tournament Group T IC Tournament Group U IC Tournament Group V IC Tournament Group W IC Tournament Group X

Tag Tournament: Round of 32!

Let’s do it.  Some pretty awesome matchups in this round, actually.  Tell me that Quebecers v. Rock N Sock wouldn’t be the most entertaining match in history? Tag Tournament Group CS Tag Tournament Group CT Tag Tournament Group CU Tag Tournament Group CV Tag Tournament Group CW Tag Tournament Group CX Tag Tournament Group CY Tag Tournament Group CZ Tag Tournament Group DA Tag Tournament Group DB Tag Tournament Group DC Tag Tournament Group DD Tag Tournament Group DE Tag Tournament Group DF Tag Tournament Group DG Tag Tournament Group DH


And in something of a shocker, Kid & Jannetty pull out the last minute upset over the Smoking Gunns!  The Gunns were actually winning by a bit when I posted tonight's last chance vote, and there were a surge of votes for the underdogs to propel them into the next round.  Another stunner with Funk & Jack taking out the Dream Team, and by a handy margin as well.  Storm & Regal continue their unwarranted trip to the next round, although they're up against the Shield now so that should take care of itself.  Also, someone fucking get rid of Undertaker's two teams already, please?  I think both the Big Show and Kane teams have gone far enough.  
We'll start the third round later tonight!

Tag Tournament Round Two: Second Half!

Funeral arrangements for Damien Sandow should probably be made now. That bottom portion of the bracket has some teams that are getting a totally undeserved free ride and shows the dangers of random seeding. Bulldog/Owen v. WGTT should be a hell of a deal, though. Tag Tournament Group CC Tag Tournament Group CD Tag Tournament Group CE Tag Tournament Group CF Tag Tournament Group CG Tag Tournament Group CH Tag Tournament Group CI Tag Tournament Group CJ Tag Tournament Group CK Tag Tournament Group CL Tag Tournament Group CM Tag Tournament Group CN Tag Tournament Group CO Tag Tournament Group CP Tag Tournament Group CQ Tag Tournament Group CR

Tag Tournament: Round Two!

The Round of 64 begins!  Everything is on the line!  Polls close sometime tonight. Tag Tournament Group BM Tag Tournament Group BN Tag Tournament Group BO Tag Tournament Group BP Tag Tournament Group BQ Tag Tournament Group BR Tag Tournament Group BS Tag Tournament Group BT Tag Tournament Group BU Tag Tournament Group BV Tag Tournament Group BW Tag Tournament Group BX Tag Tournament Group BY Tag Tournament Group BZ Tag Tournament Group CA Tag Tournament Group CB

Round one: Final results

So yes, somehow there is a bigger group of jobbers than Deuce & Domino, and it is BOOKER T & TEST, who only garnered a pathetic 22 votes against Funk & Cactus.  Also, sadly, John Cena's final shot at getting to the next round with a wacky tag team partner fell by the wayside when he and Miz were destroyed by the awesome duo of Kid & Jannetty.  Meanwhile, Steve Austin has two wacky tag partner duos in the second round.  Just saying.  
First set of votes for the round of 64 later tonight!

Tag Tournament Round One: The rest!

Should we just dispatch with the voting and send the Smoking Gunns right to the quarterfinals out of this group of losers?  Voting below the break!   Tag Tournament Group AW Tag Tournament Group AX Tag Tournament Group AY Tag Tournament Group AZ Tag Tournament Group BA Tag Tournament Group BB Tag Tournament Group BC Tag Tournament Group BD Tag Tournament Group BE Tag Tournament Group BF Tag Tournament Group BG Tag Tournament Group BH Tag Tournament Group BI Tag Tournament Group BJ Tag Tournament Group BK Tag Tournament Group BL