Rock On RAW

Hey Scott,

Here’s a question for the BoD: I assume Rock is not going to stick around post-WM as a full-timer. If you’re Vince, how do you not book a Rock-Cena rematch for the 2nd Raw after WM? If Rock’s leaving for (basically) good and will not be around for the next PPV, why not have Rock-Cena II on Raw and see what kind of rating you’ll pop? (Obviously you can’t have the rematch on the Raw immediately after WM because then it’ll rip off the people who paid for the PPV, but the 2nd Raw after WM… won’t rip them off… as much.)

Sure, and then you can withdraw $20,000,000 in potential PPV revenue for that rematch, cash it into hundreds, and then put the money in a box and burn it on the next RAW, because that would probably get the same rating and be about the same thing as running Rock v. Cena on RAW.

They don’t need to have Rock wrestling to pop a rating.  Rock draws ratings just by appearing and having him wrestle won’t appeal to any bigger chunk of the fanbase.  The goal is to take those 4 million people watching the show and get them to pay to watch Rock wrestle.  Although the WWE might be that stupid, Rock is not, and he knows the downside to degrading his drawing power by wrestling on TV again.  Plus he’s one of the only guys with the leverage to tell Vince to go fuck himself if need be.  Never happen in a million years.

Edit to add:  I just noticed that my auto-tagger interpreted “rip” as “RIP”.  I guess it gets used so much that the blog just assumes now…

Rock Responds

http://nodq.com/wwe/323905442.shtml – comments from WWE Magazine.  He’s talking about Punk, obviously, and of course Randy Orton. As a fan, I’m loving ALL of this.

Rock knows the deal.  He’s not gonna throw away a potential money angle just because Cena’s the only thing on the radar right now.  I wish more guys had his attitude and ability to pick up the thread of the feud when presented to him. 

Rock Responds

http://nodq.com/wwe/323905442.shtml – comments from WWE Magazine.  He’s talking about Punk, obviously, and of course Randy Orton. As a fan, I’m loving ALL of this.

Rock knows the deal.  He’s not gonna throw away a potential money angle just because Cena’s the only thing on the radar right now.  I wish more guys had his attitude and ability to pick up the thread of the feud when presented to him. 

Rock Responds

http://nodq.com/wwe/323905442.shtml – comments from WWE Magazine.  He’s talking about Punk, obviously, and of course Randy Orton. As a fan, I’m loving ALL of this.

Rock knows the deal.  He’s not gonna throw away a potential money angle just because Cena’s the only thing on the radar right now.  I wish more guys had his attitude and ability to pick up the thread of the feud when presented to him. 

CM Punk Also Dislikes The Rock

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/more-sports/rock-a-diva-dwayne-johnson-acts-hollywood-wwe-wrestling-ring-cm-punk-article-1.980806 Obviously CM Punk would also like to get in on some of that sweet cheddar that the Cena-Rock feud is going to make, although it’s also obvious that Rock really IS better than everyone in the locker room and richer by far and therefore doesn’t need to be respectful. I kid. I think.  Anyway, these two superstars need to put this feud behind them and form the most awesome tag team in history:  PUNK ROCK.  Sign that shit, Vince.

CM Punk Also Dislikes The Rock

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/more-sports/rock-a-diva-dwayne-johnson-acts-hollywood-wwe-wrestling-ring-cm-punk-article-1.980806 Obviously CM Punk would also like to get in on some of that sweet cheddar that the Cena-Rock feud is going to make, although it’s also obvious that Rock really IS better than everyone in the locker room and richer by far and therefore doesn’t need to be respectful. I kid. I think.  Anyway, these two superstars need to put this feud behind them and form the most awesome tag team in history:  PUNK ROCK.  Sign that shit, Vince.

CM Punk Also Dislikes The Rock

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/more-sports/rock-a-diva-dwayne-johnson-acts-hollywood-wwe-wrestling-ring-cm-punk-article-1.980806 Obviously CM Punk would also like to get in on some of that sweet cheddar that the Cena-Rock feud is going to make, although it’s also obvious that Rock really IS better than everyone in the locker room and richer by far and therefore doesn’t need to be respectful. I kid. I think.  Anyway, these two superstars need to put this feud behind them and form the most awesome tag team in history:  PUNK ROCK.  Sign that shit, Vince.

Survivor Series Countdown, DVD Edition: The Rock (Just Bring It)

The SmarK DVD Rant for The Rock: Just Bring It! Comment by brian_solo 2008-03-29 11:34:30 "Finished with the People’s Fellatio, Scott?" What, are you new here? – So this is the sequel to "The People’s Champ" DVD, which covered 1999, and this one covers 2000-2001, because you can never have enough Rock. – Hosted by the Rock, again.– Rock talks about the beginning of the "Just bring it" catchphrase, and we follow him into the lock room in Louisiana, where he harasses the showering Kurt Angle and makes fun of Perry Saturn. – Next , the portion where we’re all supposed to get excited about the Mummy Returns and go buy the DVD. Wow, that’s a very sneaky cross-promotional tactic, sucking us in with a Rock DVD and then shilling a movie. – Rock talks about his promos and how he only does live ones, never pre-tapes. He always liked to personalize the interviews for the city to connect with the fans.  (2011 Scott sez:  Time and Hollywood sure changed his policy about not doing pre-taped interviews) – From Fully Loaded 2000: Weird, there’s suddenly a huge gap in my DVD where match highlights would normally be. I THOUGHT I heard someone from the WWE breaking into my office last night and swapping discs on me. – Dateline: Shea Stadium. The Rock does a photo shoot with Mike Piazza. This was in support of a fluff piece in USA Today about which sport is America’s real pastime: Wrestling or baseball? These days, it’s which one is steroid dealers’ favorite pastime? – From No Mercy 2000: Kurt Angle wins his first WWF title from the Rock, back when that was considered a huge upset and Kurt wasn’t quite the wrestling machine he’d become later. – Rock talks about how he’s kind of like Superman, but he sells more. – From Survivor Series 2000: Rock does his damnedest to make a star out of Rikishi. I don’t remember a darn thing about that show, actually. There was a point when Rock v. Rikishi could have been a big money feud, but they just never knew what to do with Rikishi as a heel. – Behind the scenes of yet another WWF CD flop, as Rock sings "Pie" with Slick Rick. – Back to wrestling, as Rock well and truly takes Kurt Angle from here (some point a few inches from the ground) to HERE (as my arm strains to stretch as high as it can go) with one match, creating Crazy Motherfucker Angle and getting the World title back in the process. I love this match so very, very much, and if only the stupid portion with the Big Show’s pointless run-in was omitted, it might have been *****. Kurt Angle screaming "TAP OUT OR I’LL BREAK YOUR FUCKING ANKLE!" is a thing of beauty.  (2011 Scott sez:  Of course Angle took his crazy motherfucker character a bit too far into real life later on) – Rock talks about how much he loves working with Steve Austin, which naturally leads into the highlights of Wrestlemania X-7. Rock says "buyrate" more times per DVD than anyone I’ve ever heard. This is another match was ALMOST perfect, if only they had just booked Austin to go over clean and then done their silly bullshit on some other show. What’s really amazing is watching their 99 Wrestlemania main event and then watching how much more complex and brutal this one was compared to it, only two years later. The Rock is truly a guy who tried to better his artform with every match. – The next night on RAW, Rock challenges Austin in a cage match, but HHH joins with Austin as the Two Man Powertrip and destroys him. And so Rock leaves to make The Scorpion King. – And hey, let’s hear about the Scorpion King now. I’ve seen it a few times, still enjoy it, so I’d call it a success. – And more fluff about the Mummy Returns as we really hammer home the point of this DVD. Everyone predicts he’s going to be a big huge movie star. And so he is. – July 2001: Rock returns into the mess that is the Alliance storyline and joins Team WWF. Oddly enough, back in the days when WCW was going to be spun off as a separate show, Rock was intended to become the lead babyface for WCW Mark II. – Summerslam 2001: Rock wins the WCW World title from Booker T in a match where they just didn’t mesh like they could have. Which is weird, because Booker generally works up to the level of his opponent. – Rock talks about abusing Kevin Kelly and why he calls him a hermaphrodite? Because he has both sets of genitalia, is his theory. – Dateline: Omaha. Rock hangs out at Gold’s Gym and signs autographs for everyone, because he’s a cool guy. – Rock gets honoured by the Make-A-Wish Foundation after 30 different kids had their one wish of meeting him. Apparently Chuck Norris got the award as well, although you’d think he’d have just beaten up the diseases and cured the kids. The Extras WWF World title: Kurt Angle v. The Rock. This is from No Way Out 2001, and includes the classic "tick tock, tick tock" promo from the Rock in a video package. It also includes the pre-match interview with Rock and Michael Cole’s frosted boy band hair. Angle attacks to start, but Rock hits him with a lariat out of the corner and they slug it out. Rock elbows him down and follows with a legsweep for two, but Angle fights back with a clothesline and stomps him down. Rock slugs back, but Angle takes him down into the anklelock, forcing Rock to make the ropes. Angle hits him with a pair of belly to belly suplexes, so Rock fires back with his own. He follows quickly with the Scorpion King Deathlock, but Angle makes the ropes. Rock keeps coming with a samoan drop for two. Angle comes back with a backdrop suplex and goes up, but Rock crotches him and brings him down with a superplex for two. Angle dumps him and Rock teases a leg injury, so Angle hauls him in and DDTs him. And with both out, we get a walk-in by the Big Show, as he chokeslams everyone (including the ref) and then leaves. I still have no idea what that was supposed to accomplish. Angle gets the cover out of that, for two. Funny bit there as Earl Hebner and Tim White carry the poor traumatized ref out, but Earl drops him to make the count. He’s a REFEREE, dammit, that’s what he does! Rock recovers and hits Angle with the title, for two. Rock is openly limping now, so Angle POUNCES and hooks the anklelock, then hauls Rock into the middle of the ring, slams the knee on the mat, and hooks it again. This gives us the classic "TAP OUT OR I’LL BREAK YOUR FUCKING ANKLE!" quote, but Rock makes the ropes. Kurt keeps on the leg, but Rock fights up until his leg gives out, which allows Angle to pound on him. Rock gets a desperation spinebuster and People’s Elbow, but that only gets two. Nice touch with Rock limping during the Elbow. The crowd chants "bullshit" at Angle kicking out of it, because THAT’S the ludicrous thing — someone kicking out of the People’s Elbow. It’s amazing how something so silly can become a deadly finisher. Rock gets upset with the ref, which allows Angle to hit him in the People’s Junk, and he undoes a turnbuckle for full heel effect. Rock tries Rock Bottom, but Angle sends him into the steel, and into an Angle Slam for two. Where’s the bullshit chant now, Las Vegas? Rock slugs away in the corner, but Angle goes with the easy solution and kicks him in the leg, so Rock sends him into the steel and it’s Rock Bottom…for two. Angle didn’t actually kick out, but the ref stopped counting for some reason. So Rock hits another one and regains the WWF title at 16:52. This was a war of attrition, although you have to know that given another year of development for Angle it would have had another 10 minutes of trading finishers added onto it. ****1/2 The Rock v. Booker T & Shane McMahon. From Unforgiven 2001. Rock & Booker slug it out, and Rock lariats him. Neckbreaker gets two. Backdrop suplex gets two. Shane comes in and runs away, but Rock cuts him off and pounds him. Cheapshot puts Rock down, and a Booker sideslam gets two. They work him over, but Shane gets suplexed in melodramatic fashion. He comes back with that dreaded Shane Shuffle, but gets Sharpshooted. Booker dumps him and Shane gets yet another cheapshot, and a clothesline off the railing for good measure. Back in, Rock gets posted and Booker gets two. Rock tosses him, but Shane then tosses Rock in turn. Rock & Book do some brawling, and The Book gets the best of that. Back in, the delayed kneedrop sets up the SPINAROONI, which again gets a scary heel pop. Rock, however, oblivious to the potential damaging nature of the Most Electrifying Move In Sportz Entertainment, rolls up Booker for two. Book tosses Rock again, and abuses the Spanish table. Shane sets up for the Suicide Elbow, but Rock moves before anything can happen. Back in, Rock gets the samoan drop, but Shane grabs the WCW title…and hits Booker by mistake. Well, it’s officially a Shane-booked match now. He does manage to hit Rock eventually, and gets two. Shane goes up, but misses the elbow. Book & Rock slug it out, and Rock clotheslines both guys. DDT on Booker gets two. Shane nails him and goes for the McElbow, but Rock kips up and hits Rock Bottom. Spinebuster for Booker, but Test runs in and creams Rock, because I guess Rocky fending off only two guys and a crooked ref isn’t enough melodrama. Bradshaw chases off Test, yelling something about turning Toronto into a parking lot, I think, and they head into the audience. Nick Patrick hauls the fallen Rock in, but now Mike Ciota runs in to protest. He pulls Shane off at two, then Booker gets two. The refs brawl, Rock Bottom on Booker follows, and Earl Hebner runs in on the side of justice to make the pinfall at 15:24. WAY long and overbooked for what it was, which is namely an overhyped Smackdown main event. **3/4 This feud just never clicked at all. Street Fight: The Rock v. Shane McMahon From RAW in 2001. Shane accidentally loses his kendo stick, and so gets his ass kicked to start. Rock dumps him with a clothesline, but Shane fights back with a clothesline and sends Rock into the stairs. Rock one-ups him by throwing him into the crowd, and they fight up the stairs. Rock wins that battle, but back at ringside Shane uses a trashcan to regain the advantage. They fight up the ramp and Rock swings from the bottom of the Titantron and then beats Shane down with more trashcans. Nice spot as he puts the can on Shane’s head, then chairshots him down the ramp. Back into the ring, Shane finally gets his stick back and recovers enough to beat on the Rock with it. Booker runs in to no great effect, and Rock finishes Shane with Rock Bottom at 8:49. This was the typical "walk around the arena" style brawl in lieu of actual fighting, and it was kind of boring in fact. ** However, Shane drops an elbow from the top rope to the announce table after the win, which might have added another star to the match. – From Smackdown: Lillian tries to interview the Rock, but he puts the moves on her and gets her all flabbergasted and wet…with perspiration. Apparently she wants a piece of the People’s Strudel more than anything. And then because he’s awesome, he turns it around and immediately brushes her off. That part is classic and Rock’s body language is hilarious, the rest of the promo is forgettable. – From Smackdown: Kevin Kelly tries to interview Rock, but Rock is distracted by a previous nose-picking incident and punishes him for it. – From RAW: Kurt Angle meets up with Rock and suggests that he enjoys strudel. Rock clarifies: He loves PIE. Not strudel. This of course all goes over Kurt’s head. – Carrying on, Angle gives Rock a copy of his book, and it leads to a singing contest. – From RAW: Rock has to choose a partner for Test to face him in a handicap match. He needs someone fast, easy, and with no testicles, so that only leaves Stephanie. Rock sings "Here comes the Test, and the ho with the enormous breasts" to commemorate the occasion, which is likely why this is here. That and Rock making the "Keep your eyes up here" gesture to Michael Cole on multiple occasions. – And finally, Rock meets Bill Gates at CES 2001, unveiling my all-time favourite console…the Xbox. Yeah, that’s a pretty weak collection, I admit it. It’s mainly a hype piece for his movies more than anything. Apparently they re-released it with a second disc of matches later on, but given the Rock’s almost total non-involvement during the period this set covers I’m not actually sure why they bothered. Oh yeah, cash, silly me. Recommendation to avoid.

Survivor Series Countdown, DVD Edition: The Rock (Just Bring It)

The SmarK DVD Rant for The Rock: Just Bring It! Comment by brian_solo 2008-03-29 11:34:30 "Finished with the People’s Fellatio, Scott?" What, are you new here? – So this is the sequel to "The People’s Champ" DVD, which covered 1999, and this one covers 2000-2001, because you can never have enough Rock. – Hosted by the Rock, again.– Rock talks about the beginning of the "Just bring it" catchphrase, and we follow him into the lock room in Louisiana, where he harasses the showering Kurt Angle and makes fun of Perry Saturn. – Next , the portion where we’re all supposed to get excited about the Mummy Returns and go buy the DVD. Wow, that’s a very sneaky cross-promotional tactic, sucking us in with a Rock DVD and then shilling a movie. – Rock talks about his promos and how he only does live ones, never pre-tapes. He always liked to personalize the interviews for the city to connect with the fans.  (2011 Scott sez:  Time and Hollywood sure changed his policy about not doing pre-taped interviews) – From Fully Loaded 2000: Weird, there’s suddenly a huge gap in my DVD where match highlights would normally be. I THOUGHT I heard someone from the WWE breaking into my office last night and swapping discs on me. – Dateline: Shea Stadium. The Rock does a photo shoot with Mike Piazza. This was in support of a fluff piece in USA Today about which sport is America’s real pastime: Wrestling or baseball? These days, it’s which one is steroid dealers’ favorite pastime? – From No Mercy 2000: Kurt Angle wins his first WWF title from the Rock, back when that was considered a huge upset and Kurt wasn’t quite the wrestling machine he’d become later. – Rock talks about how he’s kind of like Superman, but he sells more. – From Survivor Series 2000: Rock does his damnedest to make a star out of Rikishi. I don’t remember a darn thing about that show, actually. There was a point when Rock v. Rikishi could have been a big money feud, but they just never knew what to do with Rikishi as a heel. – Behind the scenes of yet another WWF CD flop, as Rock sings "Pie" with Slick Rick. – Back to wrestling, as Rock well and truly takes Kurt Angle from here (some point a few inches from the ground) to HERE (as my arm strains to stretch as high as it can go) with one match, creating Crazy Motherfucker Angle and getting the World title back in the process. I love this match so very, very much, and if only the stupid portion with the Big Show’s pointless run-in was omitted, it might have been *****. Kurt Angle screaming "TAP OUT OR I’LL BREAK YOUR FUCKING ANKLE!" is a thing of beauty.  (2011 Scott sez:  Of course Angle took his crazy motherfucker character a bit too far into real life later on) – Rock talks about how much he loves working with Steve Austin, which naturally leads into the highlights of Wrestlemania X-7. Rock says "buyrate" more times per DVD than anyone I’ve ever heard. This is another match was ALMOST perfect, if only they had just booked Austin to go over clean and then done their silly bullshit on some other show. What’s really amazing is watching their 99 Wrestlemania main event and then watching how much more complex and brutal this one was compared to it, only two years later. The Rock is truly a guy who tried to better his artform with every match. – The next night on RAW, Rock challenges Austin in a cage match, but HHH joins with Austin as the Two Man Powertrip and destroys him. And so Rock leaves to make The Scorpion King. – And hey, let’s hear about the Scorpion King now. I’ve seen it a few times, still enjoy it, so I’d call it a success. – And more fluff about the Mummy Returns as we really hammer home the point of this DVD. Everyone predicts he’s going to be a big huge movie star. And so he is. – July 2001: Rock returns into the mess that is the Alliance storyline and joins Team WWF. Oddly enough, back in the days when WCW was going to be spun off as a separate show, Rock was intended to become the lead babyface for WCW Mark II. – Summerslam 2001: Rock wins the WCW World title from Booker T in a match where they just didn’t mesh like they could have. Which is weird, because Booker generally works up to the level of his opponent. – Rock talks about abusing Kevin Kelly and why he calls him a hermaphrodite? Because he has both sets of genitalia, is his theory. – Dateline: Omaha. Rock hangs out at Gold’s Gym and signs autographs for everyone, because he’s a cool guy. – Rock gets honoured by the Make-A-Wish Foundation after 30 different kids had their one wish of meeting him. Apparently Chuck Norris got the award as well, although you’d think he’d have just beaten up the diseases and cured the kids. The Extras WWF World title: Kurt Angle v. The Rock. This is from No Way Out 2001, and includes the classic "tick tock, tick tock" promo from the Rock in a video package. It also includes the pre-match interview with Rock and Michael Cole’s frosted boy band hair. Angle attacks to start, but Rock hits him with a lariat out of the corner and they slug it out. Rock elbows him down and follows with a legsweep for two, but Angle fights back with a clothesline and stomps him down. Rock slugs back, but Angle takes him down into the anklelock, forcing Rock to make the ropes. Angle hits him with a pair of belly to belly suplexes, so Rock fires back with his own. He follows quickly with the Scorpion King Deathlock, but Angle makes the ropes. Rock keeps coming with a samoan drop for two. Angle comes back with a backdrop suplex and goes up, but Rock crotches him and brings him down with a superplex for two. Angle dumps him and Rock teases a leg injury, so Angle hauls him in and DDTs him. And with both out, we get a walk-in by the Big Show, as he chokeslams everyone (including the ref) and then leaves. I still have no idea what that was supposed to accomplish. Angle gets the cover out of that, for two. Funny bit there as Earl Hebner and Tim White carry the poor traumatized ref out, but Earl drops him to make the count. He’s a REFEREE, dammit, that’s what he does! Rock recovers and hits Angle with the title, for two. Rock is openly limping now, so Angle POUNCES and hooks the anklelock, then hauls Rock into the middle of the ring, slams the knee on the mat, and hooks it again. This gives us the classic "TAP OUT OR I’LL BREAK YOUR FUCKING ANKLE!" quote, but Rock makes the ropes. Kurt keeps on the leg, but Rock fights up until his leg gives out, which allows Angle to pound on him. Rock gets a desperation spinebuster and People’s Elbow, but that only gets two. Nice touch with Rock limping during the Elbow. The crowd chants "bullshit" at Angle kicking out of it, because THAT’S the ludicrous thing — someone kicking out of the People’s Elbow. It’s amazing how something so silly can become a deadly finisher. Rock gets upset with the ref, which allows Angle to hit him in the People’s Junk, and he undoes a turnbuckle for full heel effect. Rock tries Rock Bottom, but Angle sends him into the steel, and into an Angle Slam for two. Where’s the bullshit chant now, Las Vegas? Rock slugs away in the corner, but Angle goes with the easy solution and kicks him in the leg, so Rock sends him into the steel and it’s Rock Bottom…for two. Angle didn’t actually kick out, but the ref stopped counting for some reason. So Rock hits another one and regains the WWF title at 16:52. This was a war of attrition, although you have to know that given another year of development for Angle it would have had another 10 minutes of trading finishers added onto it. ****1/2 The Rock v. Booker T & Shane McMahon. From Unforgiven 2001. Rock & Booker slug it out, and Rock lariats him. Neckbreaker gets two. Backdrop suplex gets two. Shane comes in and runs away, but Rock cuts him off and pounds him. Cheapshot puts Rock down, and a Booker sideslam gets two. They work him over, but Shane gets suplexed in melodramatic fashion. He comes back with that dreaded Shane Shuffle, but gets Sharpshooted. Booker dumps him and Shane gets yet another cheapshot, and a clothesline off the railing for good measure. Back in, Rock gets posted and Booker gets two. Rock tosses him, but Shane then tosses Rock in turn. Rock & Book do some brawling, and The Book gets the best of that. Back in, the delayed kneedrop sets up the SPINAROONI, which again gets a scary heel pop. Rock, however, oblivious to the potential damaging nature of the Most Electrifying Move In Sportz Entertainment, rolls up Booker for two. Book tosses Rock again, and abuses the Spanish table. Shane sets up for the Suicide Elbow, but Rock moves before anything can happen. Back in, Rock gets the samoan drop, but Shane grabs the WCW title…and hits Booker by mistake. Well, it’s officially a Shane-booked match now. He does manage to hit Rock eventually, and gets two. Shane goes up, but misses the elbow. Book & Rock slug it out, and Rock clotheslines both guys. DDT on Booker gets two. Shane nails him and goes for the McElbow, but Rock kips up and hits Rock Bottom. Spinebuster for Booker, but Test runs in and creams Rock, because I guess Rocky fending off only two guys and a crooked ref isn’t enough melodrama. Bradshaw chases off Test, yelling something about turning Toronto into a parking lot, I think, and they head into the audience. Nick Patrick hauls the fallen Rock in, but now Mike Ciota runs in to protest. He pulls Shane off at two, then Booker gets two. The refs brawl, Rock Bottom on Booker follows, and Earl Hebner runs in on the side of justice to make the pinfall at 15:24. WAY long and overbooked for what it was, which is namely an overhyped Smackdown main event. **3/4 This feud just never clicked at all. Street Fight: The Rock v. Shane McMahon From RAW in 2001. Shane accidentally loses his kendo stick, and so gets his ass kicked to start. Rock dumps him with a clothesline, but Shane fights back with a clothesline and sends Rock into the stairs. Rock one-ups him by throwing him into the crowd, and they fight up the stairs. Rock wins that battle, but back at ringside Shane uses a trashcan to regain the advantage. They fight up the ramp and Rock swings from the bottom of the Titantron and then beats Shane down with more trashcans. Nice spot as he puts the can on Shane’s head, then chairshots him down the ramp. Back into the ring, Shane finally gets his stick back and recovers enough to beat on the Rock with it. Booker runs in to no great effect, and Rock finishes Shane with Rock Bottom at 8:49. This was the typical "walk around the arena" style brawl in lieu of actual fighting, and it was kind of boring in fact. ** However, Shane drops an elbow from the top rope to the announce table after the win, which might have added another star to the match. – From Smackdown: Lillian tries to interview the Rock, but he puts the moves on her and gets her all flabbergasted and wet…with perspiration. Apparently she wants a piece of the People’s Strudel more than anything. And then because he’s awesome, he turns it around and immediately brushes her off. That part is classic and Rock’s body language is hilarious, the rest of the promo is forgettable. – From Smackdown: Kevin Kelly tries to interview Rock, but Rock is distracted by a previous nose-picking incident and punishes him for it. – From RAW: Kurt Angle meets up with Rock and suggests that he enjoys strudel. Rock clarifies: He loves PIE. Not strudel. This of course all goes over Kurt’s head. – Carrying on, Angle gives Rock a copy of his book, and it leads to a singing contest. – From RAW: Rock has to choose a partner for Test to face him in a handicap match. He needs someone fast, easy, and with no testicles, so that only leaves Stephanie. Rock sings "Here comes the Test, and the ho with the enormous breasts" to commemorate the occasion, which is likely why this is here. That and Rock making the "Keep your eyes up here" gesture to Michael Cole on multiple occasions. – And finally, Rock meets Bill Gates at CES 2001, unveiling my all-time favourite console…the Xbox. Yeah, that’s a pretty weak collection, I admit it. It’s mainly a hype piece for his movies more than anything. Apparently they re-released it with a second disc of matches later on, but given the Rock’s almost total non-involvement during the period this set covers I’m not actually sure why they bothered. Oh yeah, cash, silly me. Recommendation to avoid.

Survivor Series Countdown, DVD Edition: The Rock (Just Bring It)

The SmarK DVD Rant for The Rock: Just Bring It! Comment by brian_solo 2008-03-29 11:34:30 "Finished with the People’s Fellatio, Scott?" What, are you new here? – So this is the sequel to "The People’s Champ" DVD, which covered 1999, and this one covers 2000-2001, because you can never have enough Rock. – Hosted by the Rock, again.– Rock talks about the beginning of the "Just bring it" catchphrase, and we follow him into the lock room in Louisiana, where he harasses the showering Kurt Angle and makes fun of Perry Saturn. – Next , the portion where we’re all supposed to get excited about the Mummy Returns and go buy the DVD. Wow, that’s a very sneaky cross-promotional tactic, sucking us in with a Rock DVD and then shilling a movie. – Rock talks about his promos and how he only does live ones, never pre-tapes. He always liked to personalize the interviews for the city to connect with the fans.  (2011 Scott sez:  Time and Hollywood sure changed his policy about not doing pre-taped interviews) – From Fully Loaded 2000: Weird, there’s suddenly a huge gap in my DVD where match highlights would normally be. I THOUGHT I heard someone from the WWE breaking into my office last night and swapping discs on me. – Dateline: Shea Stadium. The Rock does a photo shoot with Mike Piazza. This was in support of a fluff piece in USA Today about which sport is America’s real pastime: Wrestling or baseball? These days, it’s which one is steroid dealers’ favorite pastime? – From No Mercy 2000: Kurt Angle wins his first WWF title from the Rock, back when that was considered a huge upset and Kurt wasn’t quite the wrestling machine he’d become later. – Rock talks about how he’s kind of like Superman, but he sells more. – From Survivor Series 2000: Rock does his damnedest to make a star out of Rikishi. I don’t remember a darn thing about that show, actually. There was a point when Rock v. Rikishi could have been a big money feud, but they just never knew what to do with Rikishi as a heel. – Behind the scenes of yet another WWF CD flop, as Rock sings "Pie" with Slick Rick. – Back to wrestling, as Rock well and truly takes Kurt Angle from here (some point a few inches from the ground) to HERE (as my arm strains to stretch as high as it can go) with one match, creating Crazy Motherfucker Angle and getting the World title back in the process. I love this match so very, very much, and if only the stupid portion with the Big Show’s pointless run-in was omitted, it might have been *****. Kurt Angle screaming "TAP OUT OR I’LL BREAK YOUR FUCKING ANKLE!" is a thing of beauty.  (2011 Scott sez:  Of course Angle took his crazy motherfucker character a bit too far into real life later on) – Rock talks about how much he loves working with Steve Austin, which naturally leads into the highlights of Wrestlemania X-7. Rock says "buyrate" more times per DVD than anyone I’ve ever heard. This is another match was ALMOST perfect, if only they had just booked Austin to go over clean and then done their silly bullshit on some other show. What’s really amazing is watching their 99 Wrestlemania main event and then watching how much more complex and brutal this one was compared to it, only two years later. The Rock is truly a guy who tried to better his artform with every match. – The next night on RAW, Rock challenges Austin in a cage match, but HHH joins with Austin as the Two Man Powertrip and destroys him. And so Rock leaves to make The Scorpion King. – And hey, let’s hear about the Scorpion King now. I’ve seen it a few times, still enjoy it, so I’d call it a success. – And more fluff about the Mummy Returns as we really hammer home the point of this DVD. Everyone predicts he’s going to be a big huge movie star. And so he is. – July 2001: Rock returns into the mess that is the Alliance storyline and joins Team WWF. Oddly enough, back in the days when WCW was going to be spun off as a separate show, Rock was intended to become the lead babyface for WCW Mark II. – Summerslam 2001: Rock wins the WCW World title from Booker T in a match where they just didn’t mesh like they could have. Which is weird, because Booker generally works up to the level of his opponent. – Rock talks about abusing Kevin Kelly and why he calls him a hermaphrodite? Because he has both sets of genitalia, is his theory. – Dateline: Omaha. Rock hangs out at Gold’s Gym and signs autographs for everyone, because he’s a cool guy. – Rock gets honoured by the Make-A-Wish Foundation after 30 different kids had their one wish of meeting him. Apparently Chuck Norris got the award as well, although you’d think he’d have just beaten up the diseases and cured the kids. The Extras WWF World title: Kurt Angle v. The Rock. This is from No Way Out 2001, and includes the classic "tick tock, tick tock" promo from the Rock in a video package. It also includes the pre-match interview with Rock and Michael Cole’s frosted boy band hair. Angle attacks to start, but Rock hits him with a lariat out of the corner and they slug it out. Rock elbows him down and follows with a legsweep for two, but Angle fights back with a clothesline and stomps him down. Rock slugs back, but Angle takes him down into the anklelock, forcing Rock to make the ropes. Angle hits him with a pair of belly to belly suplexes, so Rock fires back with his own. He follows quickly with the Scorpion King Deathlock, but Angle makes the ropes. Rock keeps coming with a samoan drop for two. Angle comes back with a backdrop suplex and goes up, but Rock crotches him and brings him down with a superplex for two. Angle dumps him and Rock teases a leg injury, so Angle hauls him in and DDTs him. And with both out, we get a walk-in by the Big Show, as he chokeslams everyone (including the ref) and then leaves. I still have no idea what that was supposed to accomplish. Angle gets the cover out of that, for two. Funny bit there as Earl Hebner and Tim White carry the poor traumatized ref out, but Earl drops him to make the count. He’s a REFEREE, dammit, that’s what he does! Rock recovers and hits Angle with the title, for two. Rock is openly limping now, so Angle POUNCES and hooks the anklelock, then hauls Rock into the middle of the ring, slams the knee on the mat, and hooks it again. This gives us the classic "TAP OUT OR I’LL BREAK YOUR FUCKING ANKLE!" quote, but Rock makes the ropes. Kurt keeps on the leg, but Rock fights up until his leg gives out, which allows Angle to pound on him. Rock gets a desperation spinebuster and People’s Elbow, but that only gets two. Nice touch with Rock limping during the Elbow. The crowd chants "bullshit" at Angle kicking out of it, because THAT’S the ludicrous thing — someone kicking out of the People’s Elbow. It’s amazing how something so silly can become a deadly finisher. Rock gets upset with the ref, which allows Angle to hit him in the People’s Junk, and he undoes a turnbuckle for full heel effect. Rock tries Rock Bottom, but Angle sends him into the steel, and into an Angle Slam for two. Where’s the bullshit chant now, Las Vegas? Rock slugs away in the corner, but Angle goes with the easy solution and kicks him in the leg, so Rock sends him into the steel and it’s Rock Bottom…for two. Angle didn’t actually kick out, but the ref stopped counting for some reason. So Rock hits another one and regains the WWF title at 16:52. This was a war of attrition, although you have to know that given another year of development for Angle it would have had another 10 minutes of trading finishers added onto it. ****1/2 The Rock v. Booker T & Shane McMahon. From Unforgiven 2001. Rock & Booker slug it out, and Rock lariats him. Neckbreaker gets two. Backdrop suplex gets two. Shane comes in and runs away, but Rock cuts him off and pounds him. Cheapshot puts Rock down, and a Booker sideslam gets two. They work him over, but Shane gets suplexed in melodramatic fashion. He comes back with that dreaded Shane Shuffle, but gets Sharpshooted. Booker dumps him and Shane gets yet another cheapshot, and a clothesline off the railing for good measure. Back in, Rock gets posted and Booker gets two. Rock tosses him, but Shane then tosses Rock in turn. Rock & Book do some brawling, and The Book gets the best of that. Back in, the delayed kneedrop sets up the SPINAROONI, which again gets a scary heel pop. Rock, however, oblivious to the potential damaging nature of the Most Electrifying Move In Sportz Entertainment, rolls up Booker for two. Book tosses Rock again, and abuses the Spanish table. Shane sets up for the Suicide Elbow, but Rock moves before anything can happen. Back in, Rock gets the samoan drop, but Shane grabs the WCW title…and hits Booker by mistake. Well, it’s officially a Shane-booked match now. He does manage to hit Rock eventually, and gets two. Shane goes up, but misses the elbow. Book & Rock slug it out, and Rock clotheslines both guys. DDT on Booker gets two. Shane nails him and goes for the McElbow, but Rock kips up and hits Rock Bottom. Spinebuster for Booker, but Test runs in and creams Rock, because I guess Rocky fending off only two guys and a crooked ref isn’t enough melodrama. Bradshaw chases off Test, yelling something about turning Toronto into a parking lot, I think, and they head into the audience. Nick Patrick hauls the fallen Rock in, but now Mike Ciota runs in to protest. He pulls Shane off at two, then Booker gets two. The refs brawl, Rock Bottom on Booker follows, and Earl Hebner runs in on the side of justice to make the pinfall at 15:24. WAY long and overbooked for what it was, which is namely an overhyped Smackdown main event. **3/4 This feud just never clicked at all. Street Fight: The Rock v. Shane McMahon From RAW in 2001. Shane accidentally loses his kendo stick, and so gets his ass kicked to start. Rock dumps him with a clothesline, but Shane fights back with a clothesline and sends Rock into the stairs. Rock one-ups him by throwing him into the crowd, and they fight up the stairs. Rock wins that battle, but back at ringside Shane uses a trashcan to regain the advantage. They fight up the ramp and Rock swings from the bottom of the Titantron and then beats Shane down with more trashcans. Nice spot as he puts the can on Shane’s head, then chairshots him down the ramp. Back into the ring, Shane finally gets his stick back and recovers enough to beat on the Rock with it. Booker runs in to no great effect, and Rock finishes Shane with Rock Bottom at 8:49. This was the typical "walk around the arena" style brawl in lieu of actual fighting, and it was kind of boring in fact. ** However, Shane drops an elbow from the top rope to the announce table after the win, which might have added another star to the match. – From Smackdown: Lillian tries to interview the Rock, but he puts the moves on her and gets her all flabbergasted and wet…with perspiration. Apparently she wants a piece of the People’s Strudel more than anything. And then because he’s awesome, he turns it around and immediately brushes her off. That part is classic and Rock’s body language is hilarious, the rest of the promo is forgettable. – From Smackdown: Kevin Kelly tries to interview Rock, but Rock is distracted by a previous nose-picking incident and punishes him for it. – From RAW: Kurt Angle meets up with Rock and suggests that he enjoys strudel. Rock clarifies: He loves PIE. Not strudel. This of course all goes over Kurt’s head. – Carrying on, Angle gives Rock a copy of his book, and it leads to a singing contest. – From RAW: Rock has to choose a partner for Test to face him in a handicap match. He needs someone fast, easy, and with no testicles, so that only leaves Stephanie. Rock sings "Here comes the Test, and the ho with the enormous breasts" to commemorate the occasion, which is likely why this is here. That and Rock making the "Keep your eyes up here" gesture to Michael Cole on multiple occasions. – And finally, Rock meets Bill Gates at CES 2001, unveiling my all-time favourite console…the Xbox. Yeah, that’s a pretty weak collection, I admit it. It’s mainly a hype piece for his movies more than anything. Apparently they re-released it with a second disc of matches later on, but given the Rock’s almost total non-involvement during the period this set covers I’m not actually sure why they bothered. Oh yeah, cash, silly me. Recommendation to avoid.

Survivor Series Countdown, DVD Edition: The Rock (The People’s Champ)

Yeah, it’s my shameless attempt to further milk the Rock’s return, so sue me.  Today it’s the three previous Rock DVD releases, as originally done by me in 2008.

The SmarK DVD Rant for The Rock: The People’s Champ

– So this, like many of the early WWF DVDs, is an expanded and remastered version of a video tape release from a few months before.

Section 1: “Let’s Rock”

– Taken from the original video tape, this is hosted by the Rock himself, because who else could?

– It’s good to know that even back in 1999, Steve Lombardi was making appearances on other people’s DVD releases to add his opinion.

– We start officially with a mixture of the places he’s “come back to”, followed by him busting on other guy’s catchphrases and abusing Michael Cole. Rock “talking smack in his sleep” is still hilarious. I had almost forgot about his impressions of Big Show, too.  (2011 Scott sez:  Why hasn’t Rock been abusing Michael Cole again?  Can you imagine the heat that Awesome Truth would have with Michael Cole as their mouthpiece, if the fans were promised a payoff of Rock beating the shit out of Cole at Survivor Series if they won?)

– First feud of the DVD sees Rock verbally abusing Undertaker and his “33 pound head” as he trolls for a title shot. This leads to highlights of a Rock v. Undertaker v. HHH triple threat match that Rock has to win to get the shot. Undertaker eats a Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow, but Chyna breaks up the pin. So Rock pins HHH instead, back in the days when that wasn’t a big deal.

– D-Lo makes a good point: Rock was the only guy to stand up to the Undertaker and not talk about him in awed tones during his promos. He’d openly bust on him and make fun of his tattoos and huge head, which made Rock look like the bigger star.

– From King of the Ring: Rock has a really dull match with Undertaker. Cut down to a minute like it is here, it almost looks watchable. Don’t be fooled — it’s 20 minutes long and all the highspots are here.

– Rock throws out the first pitch at a Pirates game.

– Rock talks about the fans and we get a montage of them doing bad Rock impressions.

– Next up, Rock v. HHH in a cage match from RAW, as HHH walks out with the help of Chyna…but the ref is out and doesn’t see it. So Rock simply beats up HHH and brings him back in, then exits the cage to win. The editing makes it seem like a pretty good match, actually.  (2011 Scott sez:  I believe this is the match that later on spawned the famous “Billy Gunn as a part of a serious booking discussion” tag, in fact)

– A montage of people getting the Rock Bottom in a variety of situations and locales.

– The Rock insults celebrities!

– Fully Loaded 99 sees Rock v. HHH in a strap match, which is weird because you’d think the cage match would have blown it off enough, but that’s Russo for ya.

– Rock introduces his barber shop and tells the story about how he came up with shining things up because of the shoe-shine service there. Yes, The Rock gets a HAIRCUT and manages to make it entertaining.

– Moving onto the worthless Billy Gunn feud, notable only for the creation of “It doesn’t matter what your name is!” and Billy’s ass-rash.

– Jumping ahead to November, as HHH has the WWF title now and Rock wants it because HHH apparently can’t even hold the Rock’s jockstrap. This leads to a title match on Smackdown with Shawn Michaels as the special referee and playing babyface. Sadly, Shawn turns on Rock and that storyline is forgotten about pretty much by the next night as Shawn leaves again. I’m not even sure what the payoff was supposed to be there.

– The Rock visits a college football game.

– The Rock N Sock Connection! All the highlights condensed into a couple of minutes. Thankfully “This Is Your Life” is cut down to “You cut the Rock off a second base” and the poontang pie.

– And then a weird period, as Rock treats Mankind like crap and it’s building and building to Mick going crazy and turning into Cactus Jack to get revenge, but it just never happens.

– Onto Rock being a jerk while also being a babyface and the announcers talk about how it’s impossible to say anything bad about him because he’s so entertaining. Putting a shirt over Michael Cole’s head because he’s ugly is just classic stuff.

– Onto a compilation of “It doesn’t matter…”. The timing on the HHH one in particular, with HHH getting this look on his face like he’s ready to start revealing his master plan in intricate detail, and then Rock cutting him off, just kills me.  (2011 Scott sez:  We needed Rock back during the HHH-Punk feud.  Can you imagine what Rock would do with Johnny Ace?)

– Another low-level feud for Rock, as Al Snow annoys Rock, and Mankind chooses his partner over his friend.

– From Smackdown in December: Rock beats Snow in a cage match. They’re kind of reaching for highlights now.

– The Rock signs his book in New York. Really, 1999 was pretty early in his career to have a book out.

– Onto the Big Show feud in January 2000, as Rock wins the Royal Rumble to wrap up the tape.

– Man, 1999 kind of sucked for the Rock, didn’t it?

Section 2: “The Rock Says”

– This is a series of the Rock’s more famous promos from 1999.

– From Sunday Night Heat, a famous interview as Rock relates a story about Billy Gunn talking to God and thus giving the world “It doesn’t matter what your name is!” Rock totally burying Gunn here is hilarious, as he basically calls it a joke that Gunn won King of the Ring and says he can’t hang with him. And it’s true on both counts!

– From RAW, August 1999. Rock coins the term “Big Slow” and notes that his music is the signal for fans to go take a leak because Show sucks. The impression of Show’s chokeslam yell is the end of the edit. Interestingly, this segment is generally shown AFTER that point, when it goes on to give the world the debut of Chris Jericho, making it doubly awesome.

– From Smackdown, August 1999. Rock tells new WWF champion HHH that “his Game sucks”. Rock’s total command of the crowd here is amazing.

– From RAW, September 1999. Rock’s pre-match promo against Kane and X-Pac, where does the voicebox imitation. JR’s deadpan “I don’t think that Kane would say that at all, King,” is a funny detail I hadn’t noticed before.

– From Smackdown, September 1999. Rock is in Vegas, so he talks about how his opponents can win the Jabroni Jackpot on the People’s Slot Machine, complete with descriptions of Undertaker running around the casino like a girl and Kane scaring off the other patrons with his celebration. Really, he just talks about nothing and it’s entertaining no matter what.

– From Smackdown, October 1999. British Bulldog challenges HHH for the WWF Title with Rock supposedly the guest ref, but Rock is too busy doing commentary to bother. Bulldog has the pin, but Rock stops counting because he doesn’t like either guy, and lays them both out with the title and takes it for himself.  (2011 Scott sez:  Rock sliding in to drop the elbow kills me every time I see this one.)

– From RAW, October 1999. More greatness from Rock N Sock, as Mankind accidentally asks for the Rock’s hand in marriage, which has the Rock emphatically stating his heterosexuality. “Uh, Rock, I’m not a biology major, but I don’t think I have any poontang to offer you.” Mick clarifies: He just doesn’t want to end up like Skip and Zip, he wants to be the Three Musketeers, because he’s always been a fan of American history. Mick’s “I sure as hell don’t want to end up like Skip” is a little more uncomfortable now, but it was a funny line at the time. Chris Jericho and Mr. Hughes interrupt and Jericho calls the skit “unfunny”, so Rock counters that he’s not impressed because he “beat some jabroni named Juventud”. Jericho responds by miming ripping the mask off. Rock gets into his catchphrases and then nearly loses it when Mankind interrupts him by copying him, a rare moment of nearly cracking up for the normally unflappable Great One. This was AWESOME and you should look it up on YouTube if it’s available.

– From Smackdown, October 1999. Rock discusses the many types of pie before a match with Mankind.

– From Smackdown, November 1999. The Thanksgiving show sees Rock once again exploring the variety of pies available for the holiday, which leads to Michael Cole getting poontang pie for the first time. Nobody could abuse Cole like the Rock.

Section 3: The Interviews

– From RAW: Michael Cole is interviewing the Rock, but he’s far too ugly, so Rock hangs a t-shirt on his face to make it easier on the Rock.

– From Fully Loaded 99: Rock points out what a whiner HHH is and clarifies that they didn’t hold HHH down because of a hug with his friends, they did it because HHH sucks.

– From RAW: Rock does his Undertaker and Big Show impressions before a Buried Alive match with them.

– From Smackdown: Rock begins his running flirtation with Lillian Garcia before another interview about Buried Alive.

– From RAW: Rock meets Louise the security guard, who is having a birthday. Again, he’s got nothing to work with, but he just builds a little storyline about how he’s about to start abusing her and then holds back because he’s a decent guy. That’s why he was so tremendously entertaining.

– From RAW later in the same show: Since he held back on Louise, Michael Cole gets both barrels of the Rock’s abuse, which gives us the Rock talking trash in his sleep and another shirt on the head. Mick chanting along with the fans is one of those great character details they always worked in.

– From RAW after Steve Austin got run over: Detectives track down the Rock for questioning about his involvement, and he absolutely chews them up and spits them out. Of course, as it turned out, the whole thing really did involve the Rock.

– From Smackdown in December: Rock looks back on the millennium. Apparently the worst moment of the past 1000 years was Mrs. Snow giving birth to Al.

So there you go. Yeah, there’s no matches, but Rock’s 99 stuff sucked anyway so no big loss there. But if you want two hours of classic trash talk from what was probably his high point as a promo guy, definitely pick this one up if you can find it for cheap. It’s pure entertainment and really makes you realize what’s missing from the product these days. I’ll do “Just Bring It” in the next couple of days to contrast their next shot at a DVD set for him.

Survivor Series Countdown, DVD Edition: The Rock (The People’s Champ)

Yeah, it’s my shameless attempt to further milk the Rock’s return, so sue me.  Today it’s the three previous Rock DVD releases, as originally done by me in 2008.

The SmarK DVD Rant for The Rock: The People’s Champ

– So this, like many of the early WWF DVDs, is an expanded and remastered version of a video tape release from a few months before.

Section 1: “Let’s Rock”

– Taken from the original video tape, this is hosted by the Rock himself, because who else could?

– It’s good to know that even back in 1999, Steve Lombardi was making appearances on other people’s DVD releases to add his opinion.

– We start officially with a mixture of the places he’s “come back to”, followed by him busting on other guy’s catchphrases and abusing Michael Cole. Rock “talking smack in his sleep” is still hilarious. I had almost forgot about his impressions of Big Show, too.  (2011 Scott sez:  Why hasn’t Rock been abusing Michael Cole again?  Can you imagine the heat that Awesome Truth would have with Michael Cole as their mouthpiece, if the fans were promised a payoff of Rock beating the shit out of Cole at Survivor Series if they won?)

– First feud of the DVD sees Rock verbally abusing Undertaker and his “33 pound head” as he trolls for a title shot. This leads to highlights of a Rock v. Undertaker v. HHH triple threat match that Rock has to win to get the shot. Undertaker eats a Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow, but Chyna breaks up the pin. So Rock pins HHH instead, back in the days when that wasn’t a big deal.

– D-Lo makes a good point: Rock was the only guy to stand up to the Undertaker and not talk about him in awed tones during his promos. He’d openly bust on him and make fun of his tattoos and huge head, which made Rock look like the bigger star.

– From King of the Ring: Rock has a really dull match with Undertaker. Cut down to a minute like it is here, it almost looks watchable. Don’t be fooled — it’s 20 minutes long and all the highspots are here.

– Rock throws out the first pitch at a Pirates game.

– Rock talks about the fans and we get a montage of them doing bad Rock impressions.

– Next up, Rock v. HHH in a cage match from RAW, as HHH walks out with the help of Chyna…but the ref is out and doesn’t see it. So Rock simply beats up HHH and brings him back in, then exits the cage to win. The editing makes it seem like a pretty good match, actually.  (2011 Scott sez:  I believe this is the match that later on spawned the famous “Billy Gunn as a part of a serious booking discussion” tag, in fact)

– A montage of people getting the Rock Bottom in a variety of situations and locales.

– The Rock insults celebrities!

– Fully Loaded 99 sees Rock v. HHH in a strap match, which is weird because you’d think the cage match would have blown it off enough, but that’s Russo for ya.

– Rock introduces his barber shop and tells the story about how he came up with shining things up because of the shoe-shine service there. Yes, The Rock gets a HAIRCUT and manages to make it entertaining.

– Moving onto the worthless Billy Gunn feud, notable only for the creation of “It doesn’t matter what your name is!” and Billy’s ass-rash.

– Jumping ahead to November, as HHH has the WWF title now and Rock wants it because HHH apparently can’t even hold the Rock’s jockstrap. This leads to a title match on Smackdown with Shawn Michaels as the special referee and playing babyface. Sadly, Shawn turns on Rock and that storyline is forgotten about pretty much by the next night as Shawn leaves again. I’m not even sure what the payoff was supposed to be there.

– The Rock visits a college football game.

– The Rock N Sock Connection! All the highlights condensed into a couple of minutes. Thankfully “This Is Your Life” is cut down to “You cut the Rock off a second base” and the poontang pie.

– And then a weird period, as Rock treats Mankind like crap and it’s building and building to Mick going crazy and turning into Cactus Jack to get revenge, but it just never happens.

– Onto Rock being a jerk while also being a babyface and the announcers talk about how it’s impossible to say anything bad about him because he’s so entertaining. Putting a shirt over Michael Cole’s head because he’s ugly is just classic stuff.

– Onto a compilation of “It doesn’t matter…”. The timing on the HHH one in particular, with HHH getting this look on his face like he’s ready to start revealing his master plan in intricate detail, and then Rock cutting him off, just kills me.  (2011 Scott sez:  We needed Rock back during the HHH-Punk feud.  Can you imagine what Rock would do with Johnny Ace?)

– Another low-level feud for Rock, as Al Snow annoys Rock, and Mankind chooses his partner over his friend.

– From Smackdown in December: Rock beats Snow in a cage match. They’re kind of reaching for highlights now.

– The Rock signs his book in New York. Really, 1999 was pretty early in his career to have a book out.

– Onto the Big Show feud in January 2000, as Rock wins the Royal Rumble to wrap up the tape.

– Man, 1999 kind of sucked for the Rock, didn’t it?

Section 2: “The Rock Says”

– This is a series of the Rock’s more famous promos from 1999.

– From Sunday Night Heat, a famous interview as Rock relates a story about Billy Gunn talking to God and thus giving the world “It doesn’t matter what your name is!” Rock totally burying Gunn here is hilarious, as he basically calls it a joke that Gunn won King of the Ring and says he can’t hang with him. And it’s true on both counts!

– From RAW, August 1999. Rock coins the term “Big Slow” and notes that his music is the signal for fans to go take a leak because Show sucks. The impression of Show’s chokeslam yell is the end of the edit. Interestingly, this segment is generally shown AFTER that point, when it goes on to give the world the debut of Chris Jericho, making it doubly awesome.

– From Smackdown, August 1999. Rock tells new WWF champion HHH that “his Game sucks”. Rock’s total command of the crowd here is amazing.

– From RAW, September 1999. Rock’s pre-match promo against Kane and X-Pac, where does the voicebox imitation. JR’s deadpan “I don’t think that Kane would say that at all, King,” is a funny detail I hadn’t noticed before.

– From Smackdown, September 1999. Rock is in Vegas, so he talks about how his opponents can win the Jabroni Jackpot on the People’s Slot Machine, complete with descriptions of Undertaker running around the casino like a girl and Kane scaring off the other patrons with his celebration. Really, he just talks about nothing and it’s entertaining no matter what.

– From Smackdown, October 1999. British Bulldog challenges HHH for the WWF Title with Rock supposedly the guest ref, but Rock is too busy doing commentary to bother. Bulldog has the pin, but Rock stops counting because he doesn’t like either guy, and lays them both out with the title and takes it for himself.  (2011 Scott sez:  Rock sliding in to drop the elbow kills me every time I see this one.)

– From RAW, October 1999. More greatness from Rock N Sock, as Mankind accidentally asks for the Rock’s hand in marriage, which has the Rock emphatically stating his heterosexuality. “Uh, Rock, I’m not a biology major, but I don’t think I have any poontang to offer you.” Mick clarifies: He just doesn’t want to end up like Skip and Zip, he wants to be the Three Musketeers, because he’s always been a fan of American history. Mick’s “I sure as hell don’t want to end up like Skip” is a little more uncomfortable now, but it was a funny line at the time. Chris Jericho and Mr. Hughes interrupt and Jericho calls the skit “unfunny”, so Rock counters that he’s not impressed because he “beat some jabroni named Juventud”. Jericho responds by miming ripping the mask off. Rock gets into his catchphrases and then nearly loses it when Mankind interrupts him by copying him, a rare moment of nearly cracking up for the normally unflappable Great One. This was AWESOME and you should look it up on YouTube if it’s available.

– From Smackdown, October 1999. Rock discusses the many types of pie before a match with Mankind.

– From Smackdown, November 1999. The Thanksgiving show sees Rock once again exploring the variety of pies available for the holiday, which leads to Michael Cole getting poontang pie for the first time. Nobody could abuse Cole like the Rock.

Section 3: The Interviews

– From RAW: Michael Cole is interviewing the Rock, but he’s far too ugly, so Rock hangs a t-shirt on his face to make it easier on the Rock.

– From Fully Loaded 99: Rock points out what a whiner HHH is and clarifies that they didn’t hold HHH down because of a hug with his friends, they did it because HHH sucks.

– From RAW: Rock does his Undertaker and Big Show impressions before a Buried Alive match with them.

– From Smackdown: Rock begins his running flirtation with Lillian Garcia before another interview about Buried Alive.

– From RAW: Rock meets Louise the security guard, who is having a birthday. Again, he’s got nothing to work with, but he just builds a little storyline about how he’s about to start abusing her and then holds back because he’s a decent guy. That’s why he was so tremendously entertaining.

– From RAW later in the same show: Since he held back on Louise, Michael Cole gets both barrels of the Rock’s abuse, which gives us the Rock talking trash in his sleep and another shirt on the head. Mick chanting along with the fans is one of those great character details they always worked in.

– From RAW after Steve Austin got run over: Detectives track down the Rock for questioning about his involvement, and he absolutely chews them up and spits them out. Of course, as it turned out, the whole thing really did involve the Rock.

– From Smackdown in December: Rock looks back on the millennium. Apparently the worst moment of the past 1000 years was Mrs. Snow giving birth to Al.

So there you go. Yeah, there’s no matches, but Rock’s 99 stuff sucked anyway so no big loss there. But if you want two hours of classic trash talk from what was probably his high point as a promo guy, definitely pick this one up if you can find it for cheap. It’s pure entertainment and really makes you realize what’s missing from the product these days. I’ll do “Just Bring It” in the next couple of days to contrast their next shot at a DVD set for him.

Survivor Series Countdown, DVD Edition: The Rock (The People’s Champ)

Yeah, it’s my shameless attempt to further milk the Rock’s return, so sue me.  Today it’s the three previous Rock DVD releases, as originally done by me in 2008.

The SmarK DVD Rant for The Rock: The People’s Champ

– So this, like many of the early WWF DVDs, is an expanded and remastered version of a video tape release from a few months before.

Section 1: “Let’s Rock”

– Taken from the original video tape, this is hosted by the Rock himself, because who else could?

– It’s good to know that even back in 1999, Steve Lombardi was making appearances on other people’s DVD releases to add his opinion.

– We start officially with a mixture of the places he’s “come back to”, followed by him busting on other guy’s catchphrases and abusing Michael Cole. Rock “talking smack in his sleep” is still hilarious. I had almost forgot about his impressions of Big Show, too.  (2011 Scott sez:  Why hasn’t Rock been abusing Michael Cole again?  Can you imagine the heat that Awesome Truth would have with Michael Cole as their mouthpiece, if the fans were promised a payoff of Rock beating the shit out of Cole at Survivor Series if they won?)

– First feud of the DVD sees Rock verbally abusing Undertaker and his “33 pound head” as he trolls for a title shot. This leads to highlights of a Rock v. Undertaker v. HHH triple threat match that Rock has to win to get the shot. Undertaker eats a Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow, but Chyna breaks up the pin. So Rock pins HHH instead, back in the days when that wasn’t a big deal.

– D-Lo makes a good point: Rock was the only guy to stand up to the Undertaker and not talk about him in awed tones during his promos. He’d openly bust on him and make fun of his tattoos and huge head, which made Rock look like the bigger star.

– From King of the Ring: Rock has a really dull match with Undertaker. Cut down to a minute like it is here, it almost looks watchable. Don’t be fooled — it’s 20 minutes long and all the highspots are here.

– Rock throws out the first pitch at a Pirates game.

– Rock talks about the fans and we get a montage of them doing bad Rock impressions.

– Next up, Rock v. HHH in a cage match from RAW, as HHH walks out with the help of Chyna…but the ref is out and doesn’t see it. So Rock simply beats up HHH and brings him back in, then exits the cage to win. The editing makes it seem like a pretty good match, actually.  (2011 Scott sez:  I believe this is the match that later on spawned the famous “Billy Gunn as a part of a serious booking discussion” tag, in fact)

– A montage of people getting the Rock Bottom in a variety of situations and locales.

– The Rock insults celebrities!

– Fully Loaded 99 sees Rock v. HHH in a strap match, which is weird because you’d think the cage match would have blown it off enough, but that’s Russo for ya.

– Rock introduces his barber shop and tells the story about how he came up with shining things up because of the shoe-shine service there. Yes, The Rock gets a HAIRCUT and manages to make it entertaining.

– Moving onto the worthless Billy Gunn feud, notable only for the creation of “It doesn’t matter what your name is!” and Billy’s ass-rash.

– Jumping ahead to November, as HHH has the WWF title now and Rock wants it because HHH apparently can’t even hold the Rock’s jockstrap. This leads to a title match on Smackdown with Shawn Michaels as the special referee and playing babyface. Sadly, Shawn turns on Rock and that storyline is forgotten about pretty much by the next night as Shawn leaves again. I’m not even sure what the payoff was supposed to be there.

– The Rock visits a college football game.

– The Rock N Sock Connection! All the highlights condensed into a couple of minutes. Thankfully “This Is Your Life” is cut down to “You cut the Rock off a second base” and the poontang pie.

– And then a weird period, as Rock treats Mankind like crap and it’s building and building to Mick going crazy and turning into Cactus Jack to get revenge, but it just never happens.

– Onto Rock being a jerk while also being a babyface and the announcers talk about how it’s impossible to say anything bad about him because he’s so entertaining. Putting a shirt over Michael Cole’s head because he’s ugly is just classic stuff.

– Onto a compilation of “It doesn’t matter…”. The timing on the HHH one in particular, with HHH getting this look on his face like he’s ready to start revealing his master plan in intricate detail, and then Rock cutting him off, just kills me.  (2011 Scott sez:  We needed Rock back during the HHH-Punk feud.  Can you imagine what Rock would do with Johnny Ace?)

– Another low-level feud for Rock, as Al Snow annoys Rock, and Mankind chooses his partner over his friend.

– From Smackdown in December: Rock beats Snow in a cage match. They’re kind of reaching for highlights now.

– The Rock signs his book in New York. Really, 1999 was pretty early in his career to have a book out.

– Onto the Big Show feud in January 2000, as Rock wins the Royal Rumble to wrap up the tape.

– Man, 1999 kind of sucked for the Rock, didn’t it?

Section 2: “The Rock Says”

– This is a series of the Rock’s more famous promos from 1999.

– From Sunday Night Heat, a famous interview as Rock relates a story about Billy Gunn talking to God and thus giving the world “It doesn’t matter what your name is!” Rock totally burying Gunn here is hilarious, as he basically calls it a joke that Gunn won King of the Ring and says he can’t hang with him. And it’s true on both counts!

– From RAW, August 1999. Rock coins the term “Big Slow” and notes that his music is the signal for fans to go take a leak because Show sucks. The impression of Show’s chokeslam yell is the end of the edit. Interestingly, this segment is generally shown AFTER that point, when it goes on to give the world the debut of Chris Jericho, making it doubly awesome.

– From Smackdown, August 1999. Rock tells new WWF champion HHH that “his Game sucks”. Rock’s total command of the crowd here is amazing.

– From RAW, September 1999. Rock’s pre-match promo against Kane and X-Pac, where does the voicebox imitation. JR’s deadpan “I don’t think that Kane would say that at all, King,” is a funny detail I hadn’t noticed before.

– From Smackdown, September 1999. Rock is in Vegas, so he talks about how his opponents can win the Jabroni Jackpot on the People’s Slot Machine, complete with descriptions of Undertaker running around the casino like a girl and Kane scaring off the other patrons with his celebration. Really, he just talks about nothing and it’s entertaining no matter what.

– From Smackdown, October 1999. British Bulldog challenges HHH for the WWF Title with Rock supposedly the guest ref, but Rock is too busy doing commentary to bother. Bulldog has the pin, but Rock stops counting because he doesn’t like either guy, and lays them both out with the title and takes it for himself.  (2011 Scott sez:  Rock sliding in to drop the elbow kills me every time I see this one.)

– From RAW, October 1999. More greatness from Rock N Sock, as Mankind accidentally asks for the Rock’s hand in marriage, which has the Rock emphatically stating his heterosexuality. “Uh, Rock, I’m not a biology major, but I don’t think I have any poontang to offer you.” Mick clarifies: He just doesn’t want to end up like Skip and Zip, he wants to be the Three Musketeers, because he’s always been a fan of American history. Mick’s “I sure as hell don’t want to end up like Skip” is a little more uncomfortable now, but it was a funny line at the time. Chris Jericho and Mr. Hughes interrupt and Jericho calls the skit “unfunny”, so Rock counters that he’s not impressed because he “beat some jabroni named Juventud”. Jericho responds by miming ripping the mask off. Rock gets into his catchphrases and then nearly loses it when Mankind interrupts him by copying him, a rare moment of nearly cracking up for the normally unflappable Great One. This was AWESOME and you should look it up on YouTube if it’s available.

– From Smackdown, October 1999. Rock discusses the many types of pie before a match with Mankind.

– From Smackdown, November 1999. The Thanksgiving show sees Rock once again exploring the variety of pies available for the holiday, which leads to Michael Cole getting poontang pie for the first time. Nobody could abuse Cole like the Rock.

Section 3: The Interviews

– From RAW: Michael Cole is interviewing the Rock, but he’s far too ugly, so Rock hangs a t-shirt on his face to make it easier on the Rock.

– From Fully Loaded 99: Rock points out what a whiner HHH is and clarifies that they didn’t hold HHH down because of a hug with his friends, they did it because HHH sucks.

– From RAW: Rock does his Undertaker and Big Show impressions before a Buried Alive match with them.

– From Smackdown: Rock begins his running flirtation with Lillian Garcia before another interview about Buried Alive.

– From RAW: Rock meets Louise the security guard, who is having a birthday. Again, he’s got nothing to work with, but he just builds a little storyline about how he’s about to start abusing her and then holds back because he’s a decent guy. That’s why he was so tremendously entertaining.

– From RAW later in the same show: Since he held back on Louise, Michael Cole gets both barrels of the Rock’s abuse, which gives us the Rock talking trash in his sleep and another shirt on the head. Mick chanting along with the fans is one of those great character details they always worked in.

– From RAW after Steve Austin got run over: Detectives track down the Rock for questioning about his involvement, and he absolutely chews them up and spits them out. Of course, as it turned out, the whole thing really did involve the Rock.

– From Smackdown in December: Rock looks back on the millennium. Apparently the worst moment of the past 1000 years was Mrs. Snow giving birth to Al.

So there you go. Yeah, there’s no matches, but Rock’s 99 stuff sucked anyway so no big loss there. But if you want two hours of classic trash talk from what was probably his high point as a promo guy, definitely pick this one up if you can find it for cheap. It’s pure entertainment and really makes you realize what’s missing from the product these days. I’ll do “Just Bring It” in the next couple of days to contrast their next shot at a DVD set for him.

The Hall of Fame thread

Just reading through the new WON about the major candidates for the Hall this year, and none of the ones profiled really jump out as someone who deserves to get in. I’d say that the Rock N Rolls and Midnights are long overdue, and Eddie Guerrero will probably make it, but others like the Assassins and Andersons are just filling out the ballot. Can anyone seriously make a case for Booker T, for instance?