Impact Wrestling – February 2, 2017

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s Open Fight Night and that means we get to find out who wants what match from their Race for the Case briefcases. Basically, in order of 1-4, everyone can pick a match and stipulation but nothing can be repeated, meaning there can’t be four cage matches or four World Title matches. Let’s get to it.

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Michael’s Impact Review

MAY 24, 2012

–  Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz.

–  It’s Open Fight Night #2.  Hulk Hogan is in his office reading the show format sheet?  AJ Styles, Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy, and Bully Ray are with him.  He shows them the format sheet, Bully Ray tosses it aside.  He basically tells them its an open forum for ideas tonight.  Great idea.  He says Bobby Roode is on the road to becoming the longest reigning World champion in TNA history.  AJ Styles says it is important as Kurt Angle being a gold medalist.  Angle says he has won more titles than anyone in the room.  Ray says EVERYONE fears him and he can intimidate him if he wanted to.  Angle and Ray go back and forth until things turn towards AJ.  AJ says he has been there the longest and he wants to end Roode’s streak.  Angle says he beat him the last time they fought.  AJ says its because Daniels and Kazarian helped him.  Jeff Hardy speaks up and says let the fans decide.  FINALLY Angle asks Hogan what he wants to do.  Hogan says Bully won’t get the shot because he has been a main eventer for only a year.  Fucking horseshit is what I say.

–  Now inside the Impact Zone, and Gail Kim heads to the ring along with Madison Rayne.  She says she is the most dominant Knockouts Champion in the history of the company.  She built the division and everything revolves around her.  She has one blemish on her resume.  The Knockouts Tag Team Titles.  She wants to challenge Eric Young and ODB-Young to a match for the titles with Madison.  
1.  Gail Kim & Madison Rayne vs.  Eric Young & ODB-Young
–  EY and Gail begin it and she works his arm.  They trade holds until EY gets in trouble for a waistlock.  ODB comes in with a fallaway slam.  We’ll be right back.  Back on Impact Wrestling, ODB is in trouble and Madison comes in.  She boots ODB in the head for 2.  Gail back in and ODB spears her down.  HOT TAGS AROUND and Madison hammers EY as he struts around the ring.  Madison slaps him in the face and EY drops trow.  Hiptosses and bodyslams for everybody!  ODB tagged back in and hits a running powerslam on Gail for 2.5.  Gail jumps into the arms of ODB and Madison trips her up and holds the legs down for the win @ 9:48.  We have NEW TNA KNOCKOUT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!  (Comedy match, but good wrestling and a decent opener.  C-.)
–  Hogan is shown in his office and says its been a while since he’s seen him.  He punctuates it with a “holy shizzz”.
–  In the Impact Zone, Rob Van Dam heads out to the ring and calls out Gunner.  Leading to:
2.  Rob Van Dam vs.  Gunner
–  The brawl on the outside and Gunner throws a chair in the ring.  He comes in and trades shots with RVD. Step over kick drops Gunner followed by Rolling Thunder.  He charges the corner for the monkey flip and gets nailed in the jaw with an elbow.  Cover gets 2.  RVD battles back and Gunner grabs the chair.  RVD with a side kick to the chair and Gunner is out.  RVD heads up top and NAILS A FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH ACROSS THE ENTIRE RING FOR THE WIN [email protected] 2:52.  (Simple squash but great ending.  D+.)
–  Back on Impact, Devon is in the ring.  Oh yeah, we forgot to defend the TV belt last week.  He took part in the battle royal last week so he couldn’t defend his belt.  He wants to give Garret Bischoff a chance at the belt since he eliminated him last week.  Dear God.
3.  Devon vs.  Garret Bischoff
–  Devon begins with a side headlock takeover.  Garret returns with the same and Devon misses a shoulderblock.  Both men back to their feet.  Devon grabs a side headlock and here comes ROBBIE T and Robbie E for the DRAW @ 55 seconds.  (DUD)  Devon takes out both men and now Garret helps him out.  
–  Hogan is in his office and tells Jeff Hardy he is eliminated from contention.  
–  Bully Ray makes his way to the ring and fucks with crowd plants before entering.  Hogan eliminated him from contention and he is pissed off.  He will take it out on everyone in the Impact Zone.  Please be my guest.  He calls out Joseph Park and here he comes down to the ring.  Park wants to hold court with the IZ as a jury.  Crowd chants guilty and Ray drops Park.  He whips him with a chain and tells him “not guilty”.  
–  Next Gut Check victim is Joey Ryan.  He is from PWG and looks like the Genius off of growth.
4.  Joey Ryan vs.  Austin Aries
–  Nice chain wrestling to start and Aries takes him down on a drop toe hold.  Ryan slaps him and Aries beats him to the outside.  Aries grabs his chest hair and Ryan slaps him away.  He goes for a pump handle slam and Aries counters with a ROARIN elbow.  Ryan on the apron and he slingshots into a dropkick by Aries.  He slugs Aries down in the corner.  Wheelbarrow Slam by Ryan gets 2.  Aries catches him with a dropkick to the corner and Brain Buster ends it @ 4:07.  (Ryan is impressive.  Aries keeps making it look so easy.  B-.)
–  THE DECISION (not that one) is next!
–  Bobby Roode is headed to the ring and it’s only 10:20?  Can TNA give us a 30 minute main event?  Come on, a man can hope, can’t he?  AJ Style and Kurt Angle head to the ring and now, Hulk Hogan.  Hogan rambles and its is taking away from the match.  Finally he decides on AJ Styles.
5.  Bobby Roode vs. AJ Styles
–  Roode bails immediately to slow the pace.  Test of Strength and Roode backs AJ to the corner for chops.    AJ explodes out the corner with a dropkick.  Roode to the outside and we’ll be right back!  Back on Impact after 3 minutes of TNA promos on the other side of 3 minutes of regular commercials.  AJ gets backdropped to the floor and Roode slams his shoulder to the ringpost.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Roode works the arm over the ropes and stomps on it.  AJ tries fighting back and Roode smacks the arm again.  Roode charges and AJ backdrops him to the floor.  AJ slingshots to the floor.  AJ sends Roode into the ringsteps.  AJ charges and gets HIPTOSSED on top of the ringsteps!  Back inside, Roode covers for 2.  Elsewhere, Hulk Hogan is notified his guest is here.  We’ll be right back.  Back AGAIN on Impact, and Roode drops AJ with a high impact suplex.  Cover gets 2.5.  AJ on the apron, tries a slingshot back in and Roode hits the ropes.  Roode charges into a shoulderblock and AJ springboards into the ring with a forearm.  Cover gets 2.8!  Roode sets AJ on the top rope.  Roode tries the superplex.  AJ headbutts him down.  HIGH MISSILE DROPKICK CONNECTS FOR 2.99999999999!  Roode tries the fisherman suplex, AJ blocks, hits the ropes and SPEARED by Roode.  Cover gets 2.9!  Roode clamps on a Crossface, but AJ counters with a roll-up for 2.  Bridging Chinlock by AJ applied!  Roode makes the ropes.    AJ charges into a DOUBLE R SPINEBUSTER!  Fisherman Suplex by Roode gets 2.9999999999999999999999!  AJ up, side steps Roode, and PELE KICK!  AJ looks up the ramp, goes for the springboard 450, Roode gets the knees up, Fisherman Suplex gets Roode the win @ 21:30.  (Great match.  Clean finish, no ref bump, no bullshit.  Just clean wrestling.  A.)
–  Roode is celebrating in the ring as he has became the longest reigning TNA Champion in the history of the company.  He calls for Hulk Hogan to come out to celebrate with him.  After the commercial break, of course.  
–  Back on Impact and Roode is calling for his confetti shower.  And down pours his Mexican America colored confetti.  Roode drinks champagne as Hulk Hogan comes out.  Hogan congratulates him and says one more person wants to celebrate with Roode.  The lights go out and Sting appears.  He beats Roode out of the ring.  Hogan announces that when Impact goes live next Thursday, Roode will face Sting in a Lumberjack Match.  
–  Son of a bitch.  I’m pulling for the under dog.  I’m amazed at how great that main event was…and then BLAM!  Back to reality with the last 3 minutes of Impact!  STING?!?  Fucking Sting?!?  Even I, the same guy who painted his face like Sting and went to countless WCW/NWA shows in the late 80’s and early 90’s screaming for Sting is saying “fuck this guy”!  How am I supposed to care about Sting vs Bobby Roode next week.  Remember when Roode beat the living FUCK out of him at Victory Road?  Why do I care?  No no no, TNA.  BAD TNA!  See you next week.  Sorry about the swearing.

Michael’s Impact Review

Impact Wrestling on Spike TV
April 26, 2012
The Impact Zone – Orlando, Florida

–  Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz.

–  Backstage, Hulk Hogan addresses all the TNA champions in the back to begin the show.  He says any of them could be called out.  He calls their titles “straps”.  That’s not very kayfabe…or is it?  Gail Kim is not happy with this and says it so many times Hogan just ignores her.  He singles out the Tag Team Champions.  Soon enough, Hogan just turns his back to them and just cuts a promo to the camera.  He welcomes everyone to TNA Open Fight Night, BROTHER.  A nice fancy video follows.

–  In the arena, Devon makes his way to the ring.  Devon is fully drenched in sweat and says he wants to give his opportunity to one man.  His sorry excuse for a brother, Bubba.  Who is Bubba?  Bubba the Love Sponge?  I would love to see that actually.  OH, he is talking about Bully Ray.  Ray is in the back with the entire locker room and asks Ric Flair, who is eating a fucking sucker, if Devon is serious.  Ray heads to the ring and says he doesn’t want to be in the same ring as Devon.  He says he is tired of making Devon a star…he had to do it for 15 years, mind you.  He tells Devon to go to hell and turns his back on him and heads up the ramp.  Devon attacks him in the aisle and they brawl around the ring.  Bell rings so….
1.  Devon vs.  Bully Ray
–  Ray rolls in the ring and begs off.  Devon throws him into the corner and hammers away on Ray.  Devon heads up top and gets crotched.  We’ll be right back!  Back on Impact as Bully Ray drops elbows on Devon.  Ray is slightly cut over his eye.  Ray with a running splash gets 2.  Devon knocks Ray to the mat and comes back with a flying shoulderblock.  He charges the corner and Ray counters with a big boot for 2.5.  Ray turns and runs into a Standing Spinebuster.  Devon covers for the win @ 9:37.  (I would have loved to see Ray take the belt in this one, but a good match between the two.  C+.)
–  Backstage, Aries laughs at the fact that Ray lost.  He says soon enough he will get his hands on Ray.
–  Elsewhere, Ric Flair promises to throw a helluva bash tonight to send off Eric Bischoff.  Not bleeping his name this week.  Flair says his life has been one non-stop party for 63 years.  I guess he is done with his sucker.
–   In the locker room, Kazarian and Daniels brag to Angle how they helped him win against AJ last week.  Angle says he didn’t need their help and he will show them a different side of him if he sees them near the ring again.
–  Jeremy Borash is headed to the ring.  He is here to call out someone.  Not a wrestler, an employee.  JB has been there longer then anyone in the company.  He says there hasn’t been a bigger prick in the last 3 years than Eric Bischoff.  He wants to put his fist down EB’s throat right now.  Now Eric Bischoff is headed to the ring.  JB asks Eric if he wants to take a picture of him.  JB alludes to Bischoff drunk posting on Facebook.  Really?  Bischoff calls him an idiot and Bully Ray runs down and nails JB in the balls.  Bischoff asks for a referee to come down to the ring and count him out.  Bischoff lifts JB’s leg over his head and pins JB.  He slaps him around some more and poses karate style as Ray takes more pictures.  
–  Now TNA stars reflect on Eric Bischoff.  Ken Anderson runs his mouth…I black out momentarily.  
–  NOW ANARQUIA HAS A MIC??!?!?!?!??  TNA is daring me to change the channel.  Anarquia makes and open challenge to anyone in the back.  Out comes….
2.  Anarquia (with Sarita, Rosita, & Hernandez) vs.  Kurt Angle
–  Anarquia backs up and says Hernandez will fight him.  Angle turns to Super Mex and Anarquia attacks Angle from behind.  Soon enough, an Angle Slam and Ankle Lock and Angle wins it @ 49 seconds.  (I would take a shit on this except for the fact that Angle kicked ass and is back to be a face.)
–  We meet Gut Check contestant Alex Silva.  He is from OVW and heads down to the ring with Al Snow.  
–  Back on Impact Wrestling, Al Snow explains that you can go online and sign up for Gut Check.  He brings out Alex Silva’s opponent….
3.  Alex Silva vs.  Robbie E (with ROBBIE T)
–  Al Snow and Taz on commentary for this match.  Robbie slaps Silva and Silva slaps him down.  Silva explodes with a clothesline out the corner.  Robbie is up and drops him down with a clothesline, as well.  Robbie heads up to the second rope and misses the Fist Pump Elbow.  Powerslam by Silva gets 2.  Robbie gets up and Silva jumps over him.  Robbie slaps him and hooks in a Impaler DDT for the win @ 2:19.  (Silva’s timing was a little off but he had intensity.  Robbie tried to make the kid look good.  D.)
–  Dixie Carter will not miss Eric Bischoff.  Big shock there, might have been shooting there a little bit.  
–  Backstage, Hulk Hogan addresses the top tag teams of TNA and wants to hear why they should get a title shot.  Daniels says MCMG already had a shot.  EY and ODB, well one is a man and the other has a beard. LINE OF THE NIGHT!  He says Anderson and Hardy hate each other.  MCMG say they want the shot more than anyone else.  He asks Hardy and Anderson if they can get along.  Anderson kisses Hardy on the face and says he loves him.  He asks ODB and EY if they are ready fresh off there honeymoon.  EY says they are undefeated and promises ODB to Hogan.  (Hitting a little close to home, ehh, Hulkster?)  Hogan says MCMG they already lost at Lockdown and he is worried about Sabin’s knee so he eliminates them out as a choice.  Ahh horseshit, Hogan!
–  Brooke Tessmacher heads to the ring and calls out Gail Kim.  She says beating her last was no fluke.  Very bad promo form Brooke, but the bitch is hot.  Non-title match up here.
4.  Brooke Tessmacher vs.  Gail Kim
–  Gail attacks Brook and throws her into the corner.  Gail toys with Brooke and does really put much into the match.  Overhead fireman’s carry slam by Gail.  Brooke is up and dropkicks her down.  Gail is up and boots her back down.  Gail calls her a piece of shit and slaps her again.  Gail misses a missile dropkick.  Brooke lifts her in a sidewalk slam and into a faceplant for the win @ 3:56.  (I mean couldn’t we really all predict what was coming?  D+.)
–  Backstage, Daniels is confident they will be getting their title shot.  Kazarian says if AJ doesn’t show next week, they will reveal the secret.  
–  We see RVD capturing the #1 contender-ship last week.  Bobby Roode says he ain’t scared.
–  Backstage, Roode introduces himself to Alex Silva and Al Snow.  He said he had to make many sacrifices  just  to get a contract.  He tells him to always expect the unexpected and punches Silva in the gut.
–  Back in Hogan’s office, he says EY and ODB aren’t taking things seriously and eliminates them out.  He tells the 2 remaining teams to meet him in the ring for his decision.
–  Oh it’s time for Garret Bischoff to give his thoughts on Eric Bischoff.  He says Impact will be a better place without him.  
–  Bully Ray is on the phone and is interrupted by Joseph Park.  Park says he wants answers to his brother’s whereabouts.  He goes to give Ray his card and Ray tells him to shove it.
–  Tag Champions head to the ring and are followed by Daniels and Kazarian.  Now Jeff Hardy and Mr. Anderson head to the ring.  Finally, here comes Hulk Hogan to make his decision.  He agrees that Daniels and Kazarian are a cohesive unit.  But the unpredictability of Anderson and Hardy is what he likes more.  So….
5.  Magnus & Samoa Joe vs.  Jeff Hardy & Mr.  Anderson
–  Joe and Anderson begin things with Joe stomping Anderson down.  Joe turns and Anderson beats him down.  He grabs a wristlock and hesitates to tag Hardy.  Joe runs over and tags Magnus and now Hardy comes in.  Magnus runs into a head scissors throw and Hardy covers for 1.  Hardy works the arm and tags in Anderson.  Joe gets tagged back in and Anderson continues to argue with Hardy.  We’ll be right back.  Back on Impact (well actually got caught up in the NFL draft) but Joe is covering Hardy for 2.  Joe charges the corner and Hardy catches him with a back elbow.  Whisper in the Wind connects.  HOT TAGS AROUND!  Swinging neckbreaker by Anderson gets 2.  Anderson charges Magnus and gets tossed.  Deep powerslam by Joe on Hardy gets 2.5.  Jawbreaker by Hardy and Twist of Fate connects.  Magnus on the outside throws Anderson to the ringsteps.  Hardy gets off the top rope and hits Magnus with a clothesline off the apron.  Anderson back in an grabs Joe for the Mic Check.  Joe blocks, rollup by Anderson, Joe opens his legs and clamps on the Triangle Choke for the win @ 10:57.  (Slow start but built to a great match.  Liked seeing these two teams against each other in the ring.  B-.)  Post-match, Daniels and Kazarian attack the champions on the ramp.  
–  Time for the Eric Bischoff Farewell Party.  Ric Flair, Daniels, Kazarian, Gunner, and Bully Ray make their way to the ring.  Flair says we are here to celebrate not mourn.  He says he can celebrate like no other.  Fans start in with singing goodbye to Bischoff.  Flair gets pissed and says he hates wrestling fans.  Out comes Eric Bischoff wearing lots of denims.  Thanks to Taz for pointing that out.  Flair says Dixie should be on her knees thanking him for coming to TNA.  He says Bischoff is the reason Hogan is in TNA, and the same for Ric Flair.  Flair invites any woman to come in and sleep with Bischoff tonight?  Flair thanks Bischoff for all he has done.  Gunner personally thanks Bischoff and calls him a father figure.  Flair gives Bischoff a Rolex watch.  Bully Ray has the mic and says he is the wind beneath his wings.  Fuck….it’s Garret Bischoff.  He comes out with Jeremy Borash, Austin Aries, the Motor City Machine Guns, and RVD.  They have a gift for Bischoff.  JB inducts Eric Bischoff into the TNA Shed of Shame.  Out rolls a yellow port-a-john.  Garret grabs his father and throws him in the SOS.  They lock him in and tip it over.  Bischoff emerges covered in shit and pukes in the port-a-john.  
–  Overall I thought the show was good.  I liked the matches…fresh match-ups.  Some bad stuff mixed in, but overall I could appreciate some fresh ideas.  The Bischoff send-off party was surreal seeing how the last time I remember Bischoff having an embarrassing send-off from TV, I was in the arena watching Vince fireman carry him into a garbage truck.  The Gut Check thing could be cool, but when you take the trainer from the first Tough Enough and rip the idea of Tough Enough off, I can’t help but think the negative outweighs the positive.  One last note, I hope we are not headed for ANOTHER Jeff Hardy/Ken Anderson rivalry.  Nothing more, I can really expand on that statement…it speaks for itself.  See you Sunday for EXTREME RULES!