It appears that alcohol was involved and that his son might have assaulted his own mother.
Your host is Sean Oliver
This was released in early 2013
It is a two-disc set that total at slightly over two and a half hours
Not much happened in this section but it is clear from the start that Nash has been drinking as he is noticeably buzzed. Luckily, he is still hilarious as he jokingly yells how he wasn’t “fucking good enough” when asked why he played basketball in Germany instead of the United States. He also said that Hulk Hogan was his inspiration to get into wrestling and laughs that it gives the “smart marks” another reason to hate Hogan.
RATS AND SEX
When asked about the WWF “rat scene” in the Northeast in the early 90’s, Nash said it was so bad they really were rats. Nash said you can tell how good the business is doing by the quality of the girls. He tells a story during the nWo heyday at a show in Miami. He said he was in the first segment then went back to the hotel and saw two girls at the end of the bar who on a scale of 1-10 were both 20’s. A bartender comes over to him and says that he ladies wanted to buy him a drink. Sean asks him what happened and Nash jokes that he thought his wife behind this then questions if the guy who asked the question really thinks that as a married guy would tell about banging chicks on the road.
Nash is now asked if any of the guys liked to go “hoggin” back in the day. He said that oddly enough, Henry Goodwin did it as they joked about he lived the hog farmer gimmick. Nash then talks about how on a 23 day road trip , Goodwin fucked 35 different girls including a known rat that they called “Dickie Slater” because she looked just liked the wrestler. Nash also said how by girls, he means that they had vaginas. He also thinks that Bam Bam Bigelow might have nailed “Dickie Slater” too.
Now we have some F, Marry, Kill with Stephanie McMahon, Ryan Shamrock, Nitro Girl Whisper. He said he would marry Steph because she is a good mom then kill the other two, because they are with his friends and wouldnt want to fuck them.
When asked why Sean Waltman’s dick curved, he said it is probably due to over masturbating, like everyone else. Nash then joked that his dick has as much feeling as “Yogi Berra’s mit.”
They do the Ho Bag Now. Not a whole lot happened here. Nash said that he had hired Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson for WCW and said that he would marry them if he wasnt already. He then said how Terri Runnels is the only person in wrestling who he exchanges Christmas cards with today. He said that Kimberly Page was great when she played with his son one day and saw a motherly instinct and must have been miserable because DDP did not want children. He threw Missy Hyatt in the Ho Bag. He said that he heard stories of ODB being with several wrestlers and that he likes her. He tosses Kimona in the ho bag too but doesnt remember who she was with. He thinks that Karen Jarrett gets a bad rep because people want to fuck her then spread rumors about her when it doesnt happen. Nash said that no matter how bad your reputation is, he can spend five minutes watching you with your kid and see how you are.
He is asked point blank if he thinks that HHH dated Stephanie McMahon in order to get high into the company. Nash said no and joked that would be something he would do. He then talks about how HHH is really one of the nicest people you will meet and said after meeting his parents, he saw that HHH grew up like “Leave it to Beaver” and talks about how he never touched any drugs or drank.
Nash is asked since he was a groomsman at HHH’s wedding, did Michael Hayes really get escorted off of the stage for being too drunk. Nash said that he got up there and sang a Southern Rock song and how it was cute for about 30 seconds but brutal after that and he did end up getting carried off.
When asked about the best backstage fight he ever saw, he said it was Orndorff beating on Vader in WCW. Nash confirmed that Orndorff dropped him twice with one hand and that he did it while wearing $0.99 shower shoes. Nash talks about how he is a man’s man and very intense overall.
Now, Nash is asked who’s ass stunk the most while it was in his face when he performed a jackknife powerbomb. He said that no one stood out and that they all were on the road 24/7 and smelled bad anyway.
A video submission asks Nash if The Steiners would bully the younger talent. When Sean asks if that is true, Nash said that Scott once duct taped a guy to a chair and stuck a pencil up his ass and he told Scott that he was leaving the room because it was sodomy and he did not want to end up in court deposition as a result. Nash then said Scott would fuck with anyone and once saw him kick out Lex Luger’s feet, causing him to flip over. Nash talks about how no one would fight Scotty as he was crazy. Nash then talks about how they roomed together a few times and in the middle of the night, Scott would come over and put you in a hold and Nash said that he would punch Scott in the head as hard as he could and Scott would just laugh and yell at him for snoring.
Nash is asked about DDP and if he was only pushed because of his friendship with Bischoff. He recalls being next to Bischoff at a Nitro in Chattanooga and seeing DDP hit Saturn with the Diamond Cutter and how the whole place erupted. He told Bischoff that DDP was over and he did not say anything back. That night at the bar, Nash said they saw the replay and he told Bischoff that he was hurting DDP by not pushing him and that he was over and no one would say anything about their friendship. Nash said that he was with Hall and they came up with an angle for DDP, who Nash said he owed after telling him not to quit the business before he went to the WWF. The angle was that DDP would be the first one to get to the Outsiders.
He is asked about one thing he wished people knew about Vince McMahon. He said that he is great around his grandkids. He is asked about one thing that isn’t true about Hogan and Nash said that he is not a dick and will stop and sign every single autograph.
Nash is asked about how he felt when Vince bought WCW. He said that he got to sit home and get paid 16 months to do even less than the eight years prior when he got the “Big Lazy” nickname.
His biggest payday was WrestleMania 12. When asked how much, said he could not by a Maibach.
Said the best hair dye product is to spend some fucking money and go to a salon.
He is asked if he had any Jim Cornette stories. He said that he hated that motherfucker until a few years ago in TNA when he was in a production meeting with no one who knew about wrestling and realized that Cornette was his only ally. He then tells a story of how he and X Pac went to a pet store and bought 20 frogs. Waltman then stuck the frogs in Cornette’s jacket and took it outside where he smashed it against the wall repeatedly then brought it back inside and hung it up as if nothing happened. Nash then jokes that was his seventh move, referencing Cornette’s comments about Nash having only six wrestling moves.
Nash is asked about filming “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2.” He said it was his first movie and you remember that like your first piece of ass. He said he filmed that for six weeks and made more doing that then he did the rest of the year for wrestling.
When asked if John Travolta was gay, Nash said that after filming “The Punisher,” he told his buddy that there is no way that dude is not gay as when they went for a photo together, Travolta was grabbing his waist and then in the makeup chair, Travolta put his arm around him while Nash was topless.
He said he turned down the a role in “X Men” because they offered him $75,000 to film for sixteen weeks in Vancouver when at the time he was making $139,000 every two weeks to smoke dope, drink beer, and walk down the ring with Scott Hall. Nash said fuck that.
Nash said that wrestling is much more backstabbing than the film industry, calling it the chess game.
Sean shows a clip of Nash’s video game commercial for “Monster Truck Madness” for Nintendo 64. Nash said he has no memory of filming this and jokes that he could have fucked the girl in the commercial or she could have fucked him with a strap on and he still would not remember.
Nash is asked about the drug use in WWF and WCW when he was there. He said in the WWF, you could not smoke pot as they would piss test you twice in a day at times, joking that it makes sense because if you overdose on something, it’s gonna be marijuana. He said it was a joke and back then, you could shake an Advil bottle and everyone would run over like puppy dogs. Recently, Nash said he did that in a locker room but no one even looked up. In WCW, Nash said that they would drink at noon and says that is a probably a reason why he doesnt remember the video game commercial.
Its time for “What’s in the Bag”, where Sean pulls out an item and Nash says the first name that comes to his mind:
Jack Daniels: Undertaker
Marijuana: X Pac
Shit: X Pac or Tammy
Cocaine: “When I left the room”
Crack: Jake Roberts
Needle: Nash tells an incredible story about the Warlord. He said that the Warlord walked up to Shawn Michaels in the locker room, holding a 5cc syringe asking Shawn to inject him. Shawn tries to inject him in the ass, using both thumbs, but cannot push it in and pulls it out, giving it back to Warlord and told him that thinks he is full.
Big Black Dick: Virgil
Nash’ record amount of Soma’s in one day was 33. He tells a story of how he was with Scott and someone else and split a bag of 100 Soma’s then Hall told them all the next day that he took 34 of them, as they only took 33. Nash talks about how he and Shawn would take 10 before the ring and time it out so they would kick in after they left the ring. Nash said how you did that because you do not want to be the last guy at the party.
During the nWo heyday, Nash is asked who they partied with. He said that they always stayed at the Marriott with the Nitro Girls and a nice mixture of rats. He said they would watch replays and always thought the reason to get into wrestling was to hang with your buddies and put yourself over but now it is to get into a bus after the show and go to the next town and not talk wrestling. Nash said that Bischoff was a beer drinker and could really pound them all night long.
Someone asks him how often he get stopped in the airport, stating it seems to be important to him. Nash talks about how the guy is questioning his statement and that Nash said what he means by being recognized at an airport is that you are big enough so as when you walk by people, they know not to fuck with you.
Nash is asked about the Maxx Payne Documentary trailer, which they show, and he joked how you never see Maxx Payne and Kathy Bates in the same shot then questions the purpose of the video. Sean asks him how much footage he had and Nash said they showed the boys with pill bottles in their hands and jokes that in his next film, he can show everyone breath on the bus before he has a sip of beer.
When asked how he adjusts to life back home after being on the road, Nash said that you don’t. Sean follows up by asking Nash how he has kept his marriage together for 25 years.
Nash is questioned about Bischoff calling him “Big Lazy” in his book. Nash said he has no ill feelings against Bischoff. He then said that Hogan told him in a match after he grabbed him in a headlock to take it easy because they already had the crowds money.
Sean shows Nash a clip from the Shane Douglas YouShoot when he talks about how Shawn Michaels wanted Pierre fired after a match with Nash in Canada when Pierre wanted to set up for a return match and as Nash picked up the phone, someone told him to hang it up and had an idea to make Vince “starve” him for two years. Nash jokes that they are “evil fucks” and said that the next night in Ottawa, he kicked him in the face and won the match with a powerbomb so it was pretty much over. He then talks about how Shane was on tour with them and in the bus, sat next to Yokozuna and told him he was too tired to go tonight, causing Yoko to tell him that he didnt care what he needed to take and to eat a pill and man up and go out there. Shane did not do it so HHH had to work a double that night as a result. Nash then said that he never had a problem with either of them. Nash said that it is all a work and denied that he ever put up a stink for doing a job. Nash tells a story of how Hall was supposed to squash Chris Jericho, who at the time had been in WCW for about a month. During the match, Hall noticed that he had some talent and decided to put in over and when they went through the curtain, Bischoff yelled at Hall, who told Bischoff that he made him and that he was bulletproof. Nash talks about how he has no prolem being the first one eliminated in the Survivor Series.
Time for “What a Dick.” He calls Arn Anderson the most underrated worker of all time. He calls Paul Heyman a “douchebag” and throws him in the bag because Heyman said no one should be in the ring after the age of 35 as Nash laughs at how he is “93” and is in the ring holding the belt in the background. He talks about Shawn, who he said was occasionally a dick to them but the only guy who could “motherfucker” Vince and get away with it so he could use his power. Calls Lance Storm a “sweetheart.” Says he likes Konnan but when he was booker in WCW, Konnan fucked him a few times and could backstab but Sean goes off on Konnan and throws him in the bag. Nash said that when The Rock came back in 2002, he was a dick. He likes Bully Ray after working with him in TNA. He puts Dusty Rhodes in the bag because he took a “7-foot guy who gets pussy and put him in a green cone,” referencing his Oz character. He calls Brian Knobbs a “lovable dick.”
Next, they show a clip of New Jack saying that Nash kept him out of WCW because of things people told him and how they met at an autograph signing the year prior and playfully put his hands on him and said it was good to see him and Jack said that they have never met before. Nash jokes how Jack said he would put someone in a headlock that he never met and seems shocked at what he said and denied the incident ever took place.
Someone asks Nash about Matt Borne’s obsession with him. They show a clip of Borne telling Nash he never should have been broken into the business after he called the wrestling business “fake.” Borne is almost in tears at this point. Nash jokes how Borne is looking for a “Ricky Morton” payday and that he will buy him a “grill.” Nash said that in WCW when Borne was Big Josh, he was always clumsy and once dropped him on his head. Nash is hysterical in his raggingon Borne, joking that he is real and gave blood the other day. Sean quetions Nash if Borne was holding true to the old school beliefs as Nash said there is a reason why Borne did not make it, because he is a dumb fuck, then talks about how if you walk into a casino in Vegas and try to place a bet on a WrestleMania match, there is a reason you can’t. He said that Capt. Lou Albano told him only two things are true in the business, money and miles, then asked Borne who the fuck broke him in and if he taught him that money was the most important, maybe he would have someone today.
Now, Nash is shown a clip of the Bob Holly YouShoot when he talks about the Kliq pushing his buttons and during an overseas tour. Holly talks about how Nash was sitting on a box as Nash himself asks why they would have TV boxes at a show in Europe. Nash said if he really said anything to them, he would not have had a job and someone would have shit in his bag. Nash said Bob was tough and never had a problem with him but he was an opening match guy at that time. Nash then said that they were all too fucked up to push anyone’s buttons and what does push your buttons is after day 21 of the tour, you are miserable and see five guys walk in laughing and having a good time, referencing the Kliq.
Sean shows Nash the clip of Cornette talking about how he studied Nash to help out the Fake Diesel character and counted six moves including a hair flip. Nash then said there is a guy called Nolan Ryan who only has two pitches and he did time. When the follow up question was asked which move he would add to his moveset, Nash said it would be to teabag Cornette.
Someone asks him about his “hissy fit” backstage on Samoa Joe after his shoot at Turning Point 2007. Nash said is smacking him twice a hissy fit. Nash said that he smacked Joe in the face after he said that promo was his idea then he smacked him again when he thought Joe was going to come after him. Nash again questions how that could be considered a “hissy fit.” He later said that Joe apologized to all of them the next day and that they are friends.
Some guy jokes how much pussy he should expect in one night from wearing Zubas, Fanny Pack, FUBU, and birkenstocks. Nash jokes for this guy none and that he wore that to keep the pussy off of him, as he was married. He said that they wore fanny packs because it was impossible to carry 120 somas and 120 percocets in your pockets.
Someone asks Nash how to pick up girls and this brings us to a segment in which Nash attempts to coach Sean to get chicks, as they are next to two girls. This segment goes on for far too long (13 minutes to be exact) and if you are unaware of these techniques, you are probably a virgin.
He is asked about his Pat Patterson impression and they show Nash impersonate him backstage going over a match with him. It was pretty funny, actually.
Now, he is asked about being a red wine enthusiast and this leads to another segment with Sean and Nash sampling wine as Nash talks about while he talks about how to open and select wines. This ran for ten minutes and a completely skippable segment.
Someone asks him about Wade Keller, with Nash ragging on the guy looking like he shot John Lennon and that he has someone hostage in his house. Nash said that Wade is a friend of his and that he was talking to him about politics a few days ago, noting that they both lean to the left wing. Nash said that he likes Wade because he does his newsletter as a journalist, saying what happens while letting the rest, like Bruce Mitchell, write hacky pieces.
Nash is shown a picture from his last European tour before he left for WCW. He recalls that night and said that he and Scott Hall made everyone, from the wrestlers to the agents, smoke hash, except for HHH, who they gave a pass because he did not use drugs.
Someone asks him to tell a story about Rick Rude. He said that Rude went to pick him up from TV in his new Ford Explorer. He driveway was on a slope and he was in his house with the car running when Rude noticed his kid went in the car and put the car in neutral and the car went down the hill and crashed through the garage of the person across the street. Rude then walked down and said to the neighbor that he lived up the street and this was his kid.
Gillberg himself asks Nash who was the best jobber of all time. Nash said it was Jeff Hardy when he was “twelve.” Nash said he was fucking incredible.
They do more F, Marry Kill with Scott Hall, Shawn Michaels, and Sean Waltman. He said Waltman was a freak so he would fuck him, Marry Shawn Michaels and kill Scott Hall.
Someone sends a video regarding the “fingerpoke of doom” and why he lied about Goldberg breaking his hand a year after the fingerpoke incident as the reason for no follow up. Nash said it was set up for Goldberg to have a heel faction but it did not work for some reason and said he told Goldberg that Bret was going to drop the bat before going to the car for him to use but Goldberg insisted on using a piece of metal.
Someone asks him how he feels about not having a single match in WCW rated higher than ** by Dave Meltzer and Nash completely no-sells the question and says how he just got a dividend check for $177,000 for the money he saved. He then says that his portfolio is *****.
The Blue Meanie sends a video question on his opinion of the bWo parody he was part of in ECW. Nash jokes that he would kill Stevie and fuck Blue Meanie but said he liekkd that paid homage to him and appreciates how they put thought into the bit.
Final Thoughts: Well, this was a tale of two discs. The first disc is filled with classic stuff. Nash was hysterical throughout and told some great stories. He was even funnier when he was making comments during the video questions, especially during the Matt Borne clip. Whether or not you agree with him, you will be entertained, which are the main purpose of the YouShoot’s. They are a more relaxed shoot interview overall.
However, the second disc was a dud. I appreciate Sean Oliver and his willingless to go outside of the box, the dating segment was a momentum killer. It derailed the shoot. And the wine segment was another dud and those two segments made up a majority of the second disc.
Overall, I do recommend this shoot but the second disc is mostly skippable. Luckily, the first disc makes up the majority of the shoot. The first disc is great.
And you can purchase the shoot and can even stream the shoot, which you can purchase and watch for up to several months.
Purchase the shoot at http://kayfabecommentaries.com/
Wouldn't Kevin Nash be awesome on commentary? I'm loving JBL. Surely Kevin Nash, one of the industry's best talkers, would be a solid addition, right? I mean, Vince gave Booker T a shot.
Cool promo from HBK putting over the importance of tag team wrestling and the NXT Tag titles. Awesome to see my old buddy Pac/Adrian Neville go on to win them with some other guy. Let’s hope Michaels’ premonitions are true.
Fun little promo here.
While I normally only post ROH stuff or the occasional live thread for PPVs or shows that everyone else seems to forget about, I gotta throw this on here:
Just trying to boost the hit count, Scott…
World War 3 1996
Date: November 24, 1996
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Dusty Rhodes, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
Once again we’re going to do the three ring battle royal with the winner getting the title shot just after Starrcade. The entire roster is in that pretty much plus a ton of guys that are never on TV at all. We also have a man vs. woman match and Jericho vs. a referee. Yeah you can really tell how much thought there is in this show. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is just a basic rundown of what’s on the card tonight. The announcers wonder why Bischoff is trying to slow down the contract signing between Hogan and Piper. Something tells me this is going to dominate the conversation tonight.
J-Crown: Ultimo Dragon vs. Rey Mysterio
The J-Crown was a collection of 8 cruiserweight titles from around the world, one of which being the WWF Light Heavyweight Title which was active since the 80s and only defended in Japan and Mexico. Therefore, a WWF Title id being defended here on a WCW PPV. It also gave us this:
Seriously, how sweet does that look? There’s just a pile of championships in the corner. How awesome is that? He has so many belts he just piles them up. Ah apparently Bischoff has already joined the NWO. Good to know. We start off in a mat based match which is kind of odd but it can work. How weird is it to think that Rey would become a two time world champion?
Now they crank it up and get a nice ovation for it. WCW fans could always appreciate good wrestling and this was no exception. Dragon is dominating here which makes sense as he was pushed as a really different kind of cruiserweight that could mix it up incredibly well. Heenan sounds like he’s on speed here as he’s talking so fast. Dragon hits a powerbomb but picks Rey up again and throws him backwards into a hot shot. NICE.
We go WAY old school with a giant swing. Someone really needs to look at Bobby’s monitors. They’re always on the blink. The crowd loves Rey here. Pay no attention to that though. He’s a small guy of Mexican descent. He can’t ever mean anything. This is basically Dragon does a big move and Rey gets up every time. Rey could sell like few others so this is certainly good.
I’ve never gotten the order of the rings at these shows. It seems like they have this obsession with how many rings there are here and there and it never works. There’s no Mike Tenay for this either, which makes the commentary more annoying than helpful. Rey kind of botches some stuff but nothing too bad. A springboard sunset flip gets two for Rey. Good freaking night that man could move back in the day. After they crank it up again, Rey goes for the West Coast Pop but Dragon counters into a slingshot powerbomb to retain the pile of belts. They say Malenko is next.
Rating: B. This was solid again and one more time the cruiserweights set the table for what could be a promising show. Dragon was definitely a different kind of cruiserweight back then as he used more power and leverage stuff rather than high flying and it worked very well. He and Malenko had some very good stuff coming up that we’ll get to soon enough. Quite good match.
There’s a new WCW.com. Remember that this is in 1996 so I wouldn’t expect much. Mark Madden is the commentator person there.
DDP, looking like he more traditionally would, is being recruited by the NWO. Him never saying yes is what made him one of the few heroes in WCW fans’ eyes. He denies being associated with Bischoff other than being his neighbor and says he’ll win the battle royal with a BANG.
Chris Jericho vs. Nick Patrick
Patrick has been an evil referee that has screwed Jericho over a few times and this is revenge time. Jericho has Teddy Long as his manager which didn’t last long. He also has to have one arm behind his back. We hear about Nick Patrick’s wrestling career which also didn’t last long. It’s the left arm here so this should be dominance. Patrick cuts a short promo and we find out why he’s a referee.
Patrick is in a sleeveless shirt and is in the NWO here. He also has a neckbrace. With one arm, Patrick wants a test of strength. That whole wrestling background falls apart pretty quickly here as it’s all Jericho who puts on a clinic with one arm. It’s all Jericho as we go to the floor. Jericho misses a clothesline into the post though and Patrick takes over for a bit. Since his offense does nothing though, we’re kind of just wasting time here. Jericho channels his inner Shawn Michaels for a superkick to end it. This was the first pinfall loss for the NWO on PPV, four months after they debuted.
Rating: D+. Pretty boring but they came up with some fairly creative spots to let Patrick get some offense in. This was just kind of pointless though as there was no challenge at all for Jericho and it just kind of fell flat. It could have been FAR worse though.
Flair comes out for an interview. He’s hurt here so he’s off the card. Even with his arm in a sling the guy looks like a million bucks. On the radio a few months ago one of the hosts said they ran into him in Florida and that Flair could not have looked better, smelled better or have been a nicer guy. That’s always good to hear about guys like Flair who comes off as a prick at times. He talks about a ton of guys and how this is about WCW and not the NWO. He guarantees the NWO will lose and stops to dance in between. That was awesome. Old guys can talk.
Giant vs. Jeff Jarrett
This was supposed to be Flair last month but since he was hurt then too they brought Jarrett in but he couldn’t do a damn thing with Giant. Giant stole the US Title belt from Flair who was champion but had it stripped from him for lack of defenses in 30 days. Jarrett is booed out of the building despite being Flair’s pick to fight Giant. Jarrett has been bragging that he didn’t get chokeslammed last month. Yeah that’s his big claim to fame at the moment.
The crowd is all over Jarrett here and loudly cheering for Giant. We hear about how Hogan got Giant into the NWO by promising him movie parts etc and sure enough Giant was in the movie Jingle All The Way which was in theaters the weekend of this show. Sting is up in the rafters and the show pretty much stops dead because of it. He comes down the steps and it’s hard to tell if he’s the real one or not. Giant misses a Vader Bomb and Jarrett takes him down with a cross body.
That might be the real Sting. He takes Jarrett out while Giant is on the floor. A chokeslam ends it. We’re of course told that Sting is clearly in the NWO now, which wouldn’t be officially answered until about March.
Rating: C-. Much better than their match last month as Jarrett didn’t try to come straight at him here and it looked like he was thinking more. Also Giant sold more of his stuff and it looked a lot better on that front too. This was just a pawn in the huge Sting chess game and on that worked very well, so definitely did its job.
Piper comes out with a contract in his hand. Bobby suggests that Piper is a bigger movie star than Hogan. I’ll leave that for you guys. Bischoff, Vincent and DiBiase come out sans Hogan. The next night Bischoff would say either join us or have your contracts voided which went nowhere but it got Bagwell to join.
Bischoff has power of attorney for Hogan so he can sign for Hogan. In a great bit of continuity, Piper shoves Vincent aside and tells him that he taught Vincent how to fight. Piper trained Vincent (Virgil in case that doesn’t ring a bell) to fight for his first match back in 1991. Piper says he can wear a leather jacket because he’s tough enough to unlike Bischoff. Piper really does come off as a badass here and this really did feel big. The problem was he actually had to wrestle.
Piper more or less says he doesn’t care about a count out or a DQ but just winning and here’s Hogan, Liz, Hall, Nash, Syxx and Giant. Bobby thinks Piper is outnumbered. I wonder if it was the 9-1 odds that made him think that. Hogan gets on the mic and lifts Piper’s skirt, showing the scar Piper has from a hip replacement. Why not just hold a big sign above their heads saying OLD GUYS?
Hogan signs the contract which Piper brought with him. For no apparent reason the match was NON title and when Piper won with a sleeper, he didn’t win the title. To say the fans were pissed would be an understatement. Piper jumps Hogan but gets caught. Hogan gets a chair and hits the weakest chair shot ever to the scar. Good to see the NWO is only taking ten minutes on this segment.
The Amazing French Canadians vs. Harlem Heat
The Canadians are more commonly known as the Quebecers from WWF. They’re managed by Colonel Parker and the Heat by Sherri. If the heat win there’s a match between the managers. Something tells me this isn’t going to be that good. Jacques, who was on New Blood Rising, sings the national anthem of Canada. I say sing loosely. He and Booker start. Please let this go fast.
To my great shock, we talk about Piper and Hogan for the opening of the match. Parker is dressed up as a French Legionnaire now and somehow looks even stupider. He stomps on Booker and the comedy is completely unintentional. This match isn’t particularly terrible bit it’s just boring as hell. It’s been about five minutes since the last thing I typed. There just hasn’t been anything to talk about.
The Canadians get the steps and put them in a corner then get a table and lay it across the top rope. They put more steps on top of that and the non-Mountie Canadian does a front flip off. He completely misses and a Harlem Hangover ends him.
Rating: D-. This didn’t get me interested at all. Why am I watching the Quebecers when it’s almost 1997? This was just garbage and boring as hell on all levels. No one cared about Parker vs. Sherri so they went with it for over a year. At least this is over now.
Sherri beats up Parker for like a minute in their “match.” Parker runs away after a cross body. Not even worth an actual introduction.
WCW needs to stop having their production guys on TV so clearly. It just takes something away from the show. Not sure why but it bothers me.
Piper vs. Hogan is called the match of the century and we get a really bad promo for Starrcade.
Someone else might be coming to WCW. I’m not sure who that was but it likely wasn’t anyone special.
Luger comes in and talks about Sting handing him a baseball bat. Luger thinks he’s NWO but doesn’t want to believe it. He had been getting the semi-Superman push lately so he was one of the favorites in the battle royal but there really wasn’t anyone that was clearly going to win.
Cruiserweight Title: Psicosis vs. Dean Malenko
Malenko was just about perfect at this point and would somehow get better the next year, actually winning best technical wrestler both in 96 and 97 from Meltzer as well as winning the PWI 500 which is fan voted I believe. They were building to Malenko vs. Dragon next month in what would more or less be a throwaway match. We start with a lot of technical stuff as you would expect us to.
Bobby picks Malenko to win the battle royal tonight. I’ll set the over under on him changing at 8.5. They’re doing the three broadcast teams tonight. That’s just going to make my head hurt. Malenko has a leglock on and the fans look at something in the audience. After more decent stuff, Psicosis falls off the top rope and slams his head into the railing. Since he isn’t dead, we can continue.
Dean goes into his finishing sequence but the ropes break the Cloverleaf. He destroys the knee and is completely dominating here. We ignore the over the top thing again and Psicosis hits a top rope flip from the top and hits his head again. Good thing he wears that mask or he’d need to get one to cover up the ugly. Then again I’ve seen him sans mask so maybe he needed it all along.
Dean takes a rana from the top for two as this is kind of pedestrian and the crowd isn’t into it at all really. He gets a SWEET reversal out of a suplex into a small package. That looked great. A tombostone gets two for the champion and then he rolls him up for the pin.
Rating: B-. Decent match but they just felt a bit bored out there. They were kind of off by a step or so and it showed badly. It’s definitely good but there was something holding it back from being really good. The crowd didn’t care at all for some reason which is odd as Malenko was usually very popular. Weird but good.
Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Outsiders vs. Faces of Fear
This is the next to last match on the card so at least we’re almost done. Hall and Nash have the belts and come out first for some reason. The Faces of Fear were good for placeholders and jobbers in this division as they were legit tough so it was completely believable. The Nasty Boys continue to not be much at all. The more famous teams brawl to start before the Faces of Fear are here. Ah here they are.
The Outsiders are both jumped by a tag team and it breaks down into a brawl. Knobbs and Barbarian start us off officially and I already don’t like this match. They keep the Outsiders out as long as they can which is about a minute and a half. Hall comes in and beats up Barbarian. Barbarian needs to get up because THIS IS WCW! The problem is that no one cares about Barbarian so they cheer Hall.
We’re six minutes into this so Dusty says it’s been 15. Basically it’s just a bunch of brawling with no particular rhyme or reason. When I get bored I think in song lyrics. So sue me. I love Nash’s side slam. That this is just downright elegant. Something tells me this is going to go on for a LONG time. No one has any particular advantage but Meng gets a suplex on Hall for two and Jimmy FREAKS. It’s absolutely hilarious how much he yells and screams over it. How much caffeine do you think he has in one day?
The Nasty Boys are ordained as the masters of the Clubber. They just stand back and watch the other four fight which is smart when you think about it. This has been like ten minutes of just random brawling. There’s no flow to this match at all and no one has been in any kind of extended trouble. Meng and Knobbs tag in Hall and Nash at the same time so they have to fight. Hall lays down for Nash but the save is made, extending this torture a bit longer. A Megaphone shot and powerbomb on Knobbs end it.
Rating: F+. This was AWFUL. It runs over 15 minutes, nothing of note happens, there’s no story at all and the ending comes from nowhere. When the Faces of Fear have the best performance in a match, that’s not a good sign in the slightest. And now we get the battle royal. Oh yay.
The teams of announcers are Tenay and Dusty, Larry and Lee Marshall and Tony and Bobby. They all give their take and none of them mean a thing. Dusty picks Luger or Konnan.
World War 3
Arn Anderson, Marcus Bagwell, The Barbarian, Chris Benoit, Big Bubba, Jack Boot, Bunkhouse Buck, Ciclope, Disco Inferno, Jim Duggan, Bobby Eaton, Mike Enos, Galaxy, Joe Gomez, Jimmy Graffiti, Johnny Grunge, Juventud Guerrera, Eddy Guerrero, Scott Hall, Prince Iaukea, Ice Train, Mr. JL, Jeff Jarrett, Chris Jericho, Kenny Kaos, Konnan, Lex Luger, Dean Malenko, Steve McMichael, Meng, Rey Misterio, Jr., Hugh Morrus, Kevin Nash, Scott Norton, Pierre Ouelette, Diamond Dallas Page, La Parka, Sgt. Craig Pittman, Jim Powers, Robbie Rage, Stevie Ray, Lord Steven Regal, The Renegade, Scotty Riggs, Roadblock, Jacques Rougeau, Tony Rumble, Mark Starr, Rick Steiner, Ron Studd, Kevin Sullivan, Syxx, Booker T, David Taylor, the Último Dragón, Villaño IV, Michael Wallstreet, Pez Whatley and Alex Wright.
The list is from Wikipedia so blame them for anything weird in there.
The intros take a few minutes since 60 guys have to come out. While they’re coming out, a few notes: Jimmy Graffiti is Jimmy Del Ray of the Heavenly Bodies, Galaxy is a luchador, Jack Bruce is Buddy Lee Parker and Pez Whatley was a medium deal in 86. Benoit is all beaten up and has black eyes and cuts all over his face. The NWO are all in the same ring. Benoit and Sullivan fight before the match officially starts. The Dungeon and the Horsemen jump in and here we go.
I’m not going to even try to list off everyone eliminated here so if I leave someone out don’t be surprised in the slightest. The camera stays on Benoit and Sullivan for about a minute and a half. Oh great we’re doing the triple screen again and you can’t see anything. I think the Dungeon of Doom and the Horsemen are gone. We’ve looked at the three rings maybe 15 seconds combined and almost three minutes at Benoit vs. Sullivan. The NWO is just standing in the corner and Benoit is slammed on Marshall and Larry’s table.
No one of note is out yet. All of the Dungeon and the Horsemen are out, which is about 9 people. Marshall gets knocked out in the big fight so something has gone right tonight at least. Look up BIG ASS CLUSTERFUCK in the dictionary and you have this match. Tony Rumble, a career jobber, is gone. Once we get down to ten in each ring they’ll break up that ring. La Parka is gone as is Ciclope. Norton is gone and Pez Whatley is too. Expect a lot of that in this match.
The eliminations start picking up a bit as three no names go out in a row. We get rid of the jobbers for the most part here which is good. Joe Gomez is out. All of the announce teams run down the remaining guys and I don’t even bother paying attention. Every big name is still in it. Giant and Roadblock, an incredibly fat guy go at it. Guess who wins. JL is out. We really need to get this down to one ring for the sake of sanity.
Everybody goes after Big Ron Studd with about a dozen splashes but no one actually tries to put him out. Everyone piles on him but we’re told he has to be thrown out of course. Both Canadians and Duggan are out. Eddie eliminates himself with a plancha to Regal. Bagwell is out as we’re getting some bigger names gone. He and Riggs fight on the floor and they would split tomorrow.
Dave Taylor and Wallstreet are gone. There are 9 left in ring 3 so that ring should be broken up. Scott Steiner is out. There are 8 in ring 1 and 9 in ring 2. Juvy is out. We’re merging into ring 2 thank goodness. Wait is Eddie out or not? Yeah he is for no apparent reason. Everyone is in the same ring so they keep it with three cameras. Damn it go to one camera! Jack Boot is out. You can’t see shit and it’s really complicated because getting more than one angle of the same guys is just really confusing.
Luger tries to get Giant out but the power of fat stops him. Malenko is out and so is Craig Pittman and Booker. We’re still on three cameras because WCW is stupid. Disco is finally out. Bunkhouse Buck is gone. I’d love to see how many people are left. Boy what a basic camera shot would do to help that. A bunch of people go out quickly including Dragon. Tony says there are 13 left. Jericho going out gets us to 12 I think. Just to further the stupidity, the bottom camera goes to a single shot.
Ice Train is out. Ok, everyone is in a damn circle and FINALLY we go to one camera, 20 minutes into the damn match. We have Syxx, Hall, Nash, Giant, DDP, Jarrett, Luger, Rey Regal and Eddie left. Eddie was in the final ten last year too I think. Eddie is out and Rey goes after Nash. Giant literally throws Rey out with one hand. Jarrett goes out and we have 7 left. DDP takes us to 6. Regal, Luger, four NWO guys. Make that Luger vs. the NWO.
Giant misses a charge and winds up on the ropes so Luger racks him. Hall goes out. There goes Syxx. Like an idiot he racks Nash and Giant dumps them both to win. Bobby and Tony say it’s the best battle royal ever. Giant would get thrown out of the NWO for asking for a title shot. He would get it at Souled Out, the first NWO PPV. The heels pose to end the show.
Rating: D. This wasn’t very good. The camera work KILLED it in the end. For at least five minutes we were on one ring and you couldn’t see a damn thing at all. These matches were never really very good at all and this was no exception. They’re just big messes the entire time and nothing ever really came of them. When you have so many jobbers it makes you wonder what the point is in having this many. Cut the damn thing down to like 45 or even 40 and this is WAY better. Still though, the NWO winning was just stupid but then again this is WCW so there you go.
Overall Rating: D. This wasn’t very good. There’s some ok stuff on it, but that’s as good as it gets. SO much stuff on here is just boring as hell as the majority of the roster was in the battle royal. Things would pick up a lot in the coming year, but the end of 96 was really pretty week. These shows always sucked though and this was absolutely no exception. Don’t watch this one.
http://www.wwe.com/inside/kevin-nash-released They need to be really careful if they’re working this one, because that’s like doing a fake “X” signal when someone isn’t actually injured. They only have a few things that fans actually buy at face value, and the future endeavour postings are one of them. If they’re not just crying wolf here, then it REALLY makes the last few weeks of TV some bizarre stuff.
http://www.wwe.com/inside/kevin-nash-released They need to be really careful if they’re working this one, because that’s like doing a fake “X” signal when someone isn’t actually injured. They only have a few things that fans actually buy at face value, and the future endeavour postings are one of them. If they’re not just crying wolf here, then it REALLY makes the last few weeks of TV some bizarre stuff.