Smackdown
Date: May 14, 2019
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
It’s the second of two nights in London and that means we get to see how close to four names WWE can bring in from Raw this week. This is also the go home show for Money in the Bank so it’s time for the brawl between Kofi Kingston and Kevin Owens. Throw in the required build towards the ladder matches and we could be in for a nice little show. Let’s get to it.
Smackdown
Date: May 7, 2019
Location: KFC Yum Center, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
It’s the first show under the new Wild Card Rule, which basically means the Brand Split is done. The official rule is that four names from the other show can come over, but the real question is how many of those people will actually show up. Since WWE couldn’t actually manage to get the rule straight last night for more than about an hour at a time, odds are it’s going to be changed around here as well. Let’s get to it.
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 6, 2019
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young
WWE seems to already be hitting the panic switch as the shows are hitting some pretty low numbers. Therefore, Roman Reigns is back tonight to settle some unfinished and unspecified business. Normally it would make sense to advertise this more than a few days in advance and on television instead of online but WWE has never been one to plan ahead. Let’s get to it.
Smackdown
Date: April 30, 2019
Location: Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
Things are starting to come back together around here as we have the first challenger to Kofi Kingston’s Smackdown World Title. Last week Kevin Owens turned on Kingston in a not very surprising yet still well done moment. The match will likely be announced tonight, as will the Money in the Bank participants. Let’s get to it.
Smackdown
Date: April 23, 2019
Location: Pinnacle Bank Arena, Lincoln, Nebraska
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
We’re officially into the new era of Smackdown after last week’s brand split and believe it or not, Roman Reigns is the focal point of the show again. Last week saw Reigns attack Vince McMahon, which has started off rumors that he might be fired. In other words, it’s McMahon time again and that’s likely to be the case for the time being. Let’s get to it.
Smackdown
Date: April 16, 2019
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
It’s the second night of the Superstar Shakeup and that means it’s time to find out who is coming over to the blue brand, either from Raw, 205 Live or NXT. One of the more interesting things is how people who were on the show last night could pop up here, meaning things might not be as one sided as they seem. Let’s get to it.
Monday Night Raw
Date: April 8, 2019
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young
It’s the season premiere of the show and that means we’re in for something interesting tonight. Tonight is the night of big things happening, as we’ll be seeing a variety of people being called up and big stories going down, though a lot of it isn’t going to matter as we have the Superstar Shakeup next week. Let’s get to it.
Wrestlemania XXXV
Date: April 7, 2019
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
America the Beautiful: Yolanda Adams
As long as this show is going to be, there’s something special about getting to see it every year. This year’s show is built around the three major matches and the question of how many happy endings we can have. You know it’s not going to be all three, but which of the three doesn’t go through. Those matches consist of Universal Champion Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins, Smackdown World Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Kofi Kingston and the winner take all match for both Women’s titles as Ronda Rousey faces Charlotte and Becky Lynch in a genuinely historic main event. Let’s get to it.
Smackdown
Date: April 2, 2019
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
It’s the final final show before Wrestlemania and with five days to go before the longest event in history, I’ll set the over/under for matches being added at two. Tonight in theory should be the first time we get to see the strong promos between Kofi Kingston and Daniel Bryan because less than two weeks is enough time to build a WWE Championship match at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.
Smackdown
Date: March 19, 2019
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
It’s a Kofi Kingston night as he has to run a gauntlet match to get to the main event of Wrestlemania. In theory, with so few shows left to go before the pay per view, they’ll finally announce the match and let us have a few weeks to build. There’s a lot of other stuff to build on the way there too though and I’m not sure how much time everything else is going to get. Let’s get to it.
Smackdown
Date: March 12, 2019
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
Now believe it or not, this show is going to mainly be about the McMahons. It’s a Vince and Shane night in this case, with the former being here to address Kofi Kingston and the latter to explain why he attacked the Miz. Maybe that’s why this year’s Wrestlemania build isn’t exactly setting the world on fire. Let’s get to it.
Smackdown
Date: February 26, 2019
Location: Spectrum Center, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
We’re less than two weeks away from Fastlane and you actually know a thing or two about that on this show. The big story continues to be Kofimania, which has you believing that the title could actually change hands at the pay per view. Tonight is the contract signing, where Kofi needs to get in a great promo to really push this forward. Let’s get to it.
Smackdown
Date: February 19, 2019
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
Kofi Kingston! Rhythmic Clapping! Sunday’s Elimination Chamber match for the Smackdown World Title was one of the most dramatic moments WWE has presented in years. Kingston was on the verge of becoming WWE Champion and while he came up short, the question now is can he actually pull off the upset. With the nothing Fastlane coming up, Bryan is going to need a challenger. Let’s get to it.
Elimination Chamber 2019
Date: February 17, 2019
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Tom Phillips, Percy Watson
It’s the first of two stops on the Road to Wrestlemania and that means we’ll be seeing a big steel structure. In this case it’s for the WWE Championship and the inaugural WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles. The structure alone makes this a little more interesting and hopefully it’s good on top of that. Let’s get to it.
Smackdown
Date: February 12, 2019
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves
It’s the go home show for Elimination Chamber and we have some big matches to get through. As was the case last night on Raw, we’ll have some kind of a match to determine the other team starting the women’s tag team Elimination Chamber match. On the opposite end, there is also a gauntlet match to determine who will enter the men’s Elimination Chamber match last. Let’s get to it.
We’re in Atlanta, GA (baddest Atlanta in the whole USA) and John Morrison and The Miz are here to brag as we see footage of The Miz pinning HBK last night on Raw. I do not remember that happening but I’m sure message boards looked like Kristallnacht the day after.
We’re in Skoplane, WA (home of Chuck Jones & David Lynch so it sounds like a lovely place). Matt Hardy retained at No Mercy last week so our main event is announced as…an eight man tag guest-starring Kofi Kingston and CM Punk. And absolutely nothing is made of the fact the former World Heavyweight Champion is returning to ECW, Striker simply hypes the ”young, upcoming talent” and try to pretend Punk’s Worst Run As Heavyweight Champion Since Tim Sylvia didn’t happen.
It’s the show after Million Dollar Mania exploded and Vince died (again) so Teddy Long starts the show by wishing Mack-Man a speedy recovery. But anyway we’re in Houston, Texas and the Draft has happened which means the WHOMP-ASS version of ECW on Sci-Fi is finally here!
San Jose, California and we have a CHAMPIONSHIP CONFRONTATION between Kane and Big Show, as well as CM Punk vs. John Morrison Part VII: First Contact.
But first, WWE One Night Stand 2008!
The Big Show vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. John Morrison vs. CM Punk vs. Tommy Dreamer (Singapore Cane Match)
The Big Show vs. Tommy Dreamer
We’re somewhere in America for the show before One Night Stand and we go straight to this match.
BUT FIRST
The Miz & John Morrison vs. CM Punk & Kane (WWE Tag Team Titles)
I didn’t realise Backlash 2008 was after last week’s episode so here’s the relevant match!
Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero (ECW Title)
We’re in Greensboro, NC and tonight we get a special edition of The Cutting Edge.
We’re in London, England and we have a big-ass main event with ECW Champ Kane teaming with WWE Champ Undertaker! Oh and it’s also Joey Styles’ last show as he’s moving onto working for WWE dot com (which he did a marvellous job of supercharging) which I’m thankful for as he’d been white noise for months. Let’s hope his replacement will be better. Oh, he’s here at the desk let’s-
oh no
OH NO.
—
”What happens when you take that man’s sun-glasses off? OK! I understand! We won’t go there!” starts Adamle and it’s impossible to convey how awkward and forced he sounds from his opening line and the realisation there’s another hour of TV to go.
CM Punk, Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore, Kofi Kingston vs. Elijah Burke, Deuce, Domino, Shelton Benjamin
Adamlemania continues to run wild as he talks over the ring introductions and repeats everyone’s name to remind himself who everyone is.”They will have a say in tonight’s…*looks at notes* eight-man tag team match.” He notes Kofi Kingston will be CM Punk’s tag partner. ”How do you like me now?” Adamle says Shelton will be teaming with Burke. I mean he’s technically right but he’s talking like it’s the first eight-man tag match he’s ever seen. Domino starts by getting double-teamed by Shan & Wang but it’s hard to ignore Adamle’s dead air and confusion. Punk and Shelton jostle until Shelton hurls him outside the ring and we go to break. We get Burke vs. Punk one last time before Burke leaves forever in a few weeks. Yang gets worked over by Benjamin as Tazz struggles to fill the silence as Adamle can’t think of anything to say. Deuce tags in and gets under the skin of the opposite team while he beats down Yang. I think reminding everyone he was still employed would have been enough aggravation. Eventually he makes the hot tag to Kofi who takes out Deuce with a ”leg kick” and lands the Boom Drop and we get Adamle’s legendary:
Kofi takes out Deuce with the Trouble In Paradise and it’s ”Uno, Dos, Adios.”
Winners: The goodies (I’m surprised they had a eight-man tag match, last time they were in the UK they didn’t have that many wrestlers on the entire episode. It didn’t matter though, it was a simple multi-man that would have been forgotten instantly if it wasn’t for Adamle’s best Eric The Actor impression.)
Dramatic Recap of last week’s contract signing and there’s not enough video filters on Adobe to make Bam Neely look impressive. Kane reminds us Undertaker is here and Bam is fucked. He’s not on the show tonight so Kane’s right.
Adamle tells us ”The Tazz” is in the ring for Diva Dance Off, somehow managing to overshadow titties and jiggling.
Tommy Dreamer vs. Mike Knox
There’s a MIKE KNOX WAS FRAMED sign in the crowd, oh wow remember that whole thing?
Police out of Henry County, Georgia are moving on in the Mike Knox steroid link investigation. They are more interested in finding the supplier of the drugs. Knox formerly lived in a residence in Henry County with three other wrestlers, but steroids were left behind in an attic after they moved out. Knox said the steroids weren’t his, and WWE believes him as they have defended him publicly (and continued to push him on TV).
Jon Bravo has been on the hunt for a while. Anyway, Armando wants Mike Knox to wrestle a competitive match with a future world champion…Colin Delaney!
Colin Delaney vs. Mike Knox
Knox does a better job of disposing of Colin than he did those steroids. Delaney takes some Taz-esque suplexes before Knox pins him.
Winner: Mike Knox (Armando was a glorious shit-eating dick during this Colin feud.)
Adamle starts talking about ”Mike The Miz” taking on Undertaker & Kane in a ”mitch-match” tonight while staring at his notes on camera.
Miz & Morrison talk backstage about being stronger than Kane & Undertaker as they’re always fighting each other. Morrison isn’t scared as Miz is going to be starting the match. Miz looks like he
The Miz & John Morrison vs. Kane & The Undertaker
WWE Tag Team Champions vs. ECW World & WWE Champion. ”You may think he looks like Tarzan but hits like Jane, but you’d be wrong.” OK I’ll give Adamle credit, that’s a good line. Didn’t really fit what he was going for as he was trying put over Morrison but he’s batting low so I’ll allow it. Miz starts with Kane and that goes as well for Miz as you’d expect. Undi takes in and he’s still peak-athleticism so he gets Old School early and big boots a charging Morrison like it’s nothing. Undi tries for the apron leg drop but Morrison stops him like he’s trying to leave for WCW in 2000.
Back from break, Miz & Morrison are working over Undertaker. Tazz calls them the World Tag Champs instead of the WWE ones, Adamle is contagious. Undi resumes offence on Morrison until he tags in Kane. Morrison tags in Miz but he doesn’t want any of him so Kane has to throw him in. That was cute. Kane tries the top rope clothesline but Morrison pulls him off (not like that) so Kane boots him off the apron and Morrison takes a face-first bump onto the floor like a madman. This allows Miz to get the advantage on Kane with his Scrappy Doo offence. Kane gets isolated and worked over but Kane doesn’t tend to sell body-work so he big boots Miz down and tags in Undi. It’s weird seeing Undertaker running so fluidly at this stage of his career. Benjamin Button can’t get a double chokeslam on Miz & Morrison but Kane helps him make it a single chokeslam on both. Undertaker finishes with the Tombstone Piledriver.
Winners: Kane & The Undertaker (Harmless house show match to get Undertaker on the show, who the crowd obviously loved.)
Overall: This would have been a forgotten show if it hadn’t been for Adamle’s debut. Despite the star power in the main event and eight-man tag match, there wasn’t anything that stood out above Adamle’s Holy Shit Didn’t Anyone See If This Dude Could Commentate Wrestling Before Hiring Him performance which was at least 0.8 Art O’Donnell. It would later emerge that Adamle was struggling with CTE, making this all the more alarming.
I’ve been Maffew, I wrote about wXw 16 Carat 2018 last weekend so go read that. And Botchamania 363 will be later today.