The No-Limit Soldiers vs. Brian Knobbs, Hugh Morrus & Jerry Flynn (and other Dream Matches!)

WCW 4 Ever on Twitter: "The No Limit Soldiers #WCW… "

Quoth the No-Limit Soldiers: “Hoody Hoo!”

Welcome back to another edition of wrestling’s weirdest Dream Matches! This time I have one of the most all-time “WTF?” trios matches ever, as we end up with the First Family- a band of WCW’s weakest heel JTTS guys at this point- up against the infamous No-Limit Soldiers, long after their run was dying. So it’s a true dream team of Brian Knobbs, Hugh Morrus and friggin’ LIGHTNING FOOT against Brad Armstrong and two never-was roid-monsters in 4×4 and Swoll.

Also on the docket, we have WWF Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs. Akeem in Versailles Stadium in France! Rocker Shawn Michaels taking on Demolition Crush in 1991- a bout that would look incredibly different only two years later and was on PPV in ’94! The Diamond Studd takes on P.N. News in his infamous “rapper” gimmick! And finally, a trip to 2011 WWE as Kevin Nash takes on Santino Marella.

THE NO LIMIT SOLDIERS (B.A., 4×4 & Swoll) vs. THE FIRST FAMILY (Brian Knobbs, Hugh Morrus & “LIGHTNING FOOT” Jerry Flynn, w/ Jimmy Hart):
(WCW Saturday Night, 09 11 1999)
* OH MY SWEET DEAR JESUS, YES!! THIS kind of bullshit nonsense is the entire reason I started this column in the first place! Look at these idiots- a fat sack of ass in Knobbs, never-was Hugh Morrus and of course LIGHTNING FOOT the super-jobber going up against one of WCW’s worst ideas, comprised of whatever guys they were paying but weren’t doing anything with. B.A. is Brad Armstrong, fresh from the jobber corps. Swoll is somewhat infamous for only ever doing anything in this angle (his wrestling career consists of AWA & New Japan in 1991 and WCW in 1999 and that’s it)- I do love how he’s called “Swoll”, which none of the announcers (Tony, Bobby, Larry & Mike being the four Caucasianiest Caucasians to ever live) explaining what the hell that name meant. 4×4 is an absolute BLIMP, looking like a legit Looney Tunes caricature of a roughneck, and didn’t make it more than a year in the business either, acting as a bodyguard for Harlem Heat 2000. This stems from a brawl last Saturday Night, and is a revenge bout between the two stables. The faces are all in camo gear while the First Family is in black (with Knobbs sporting a PINK SHIRT, which is amazing).

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Bret Hart & The Ultimate Warrior vs. Kamala & Papa Shango (and other Dream Matches!)

UNRELEASED Tag Match, Ultimate Warrior & Bret Hitman Hart Vs Papa Shango & Kamala 13th Oct 1992 - YouTube

Ugh, it’s SINGLET Warrior- that’s always death.

It’s time for more Dream Matches! Including the weirdest “final bout of the House Show” tag match ever! The ultimate battle of WCW Saturday Night: Hole In One versus LIGHTNING FOOT! An odd and very rare Heel vs. Heel Tag Title match on RAW! And a very interesting match featuring 1992 Sean Waltman & Jerry Lynn in a bout featuring a ton of Luchadors!

As always, WWE-owned clips are non-kosher to post here, but they’re all on YouTube.

THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR & BRET “HITMAN” HART vs. PAPA SHANGO & KAMALA (w/ Dr. Harvey Whippleman & Kim Chee):
(WWF Unreleased, Oct. 13th, 1992)
* Oh man, this is weird. Ultimate Warrior (in his “Brick Wall Singlet” era, no less!), just about done with the company, is teaming with the single WWF wrestler least like him against a guy they both have an issue with- Papa Shango possibly “cursed” the Hitman and he lost the IC Title, while he made the Warrior bleed black and puke his guts out on TV in one of the most bizarre, amazing, fantastic angles of 1992… before everyone was kind of just done with that gimmick. And Kamala’s teaming with him because he needs an extra guy, I guess (I mean, voodoo has its roots in African religions, but I doubt the booking team knew that). They’re clearly going with an “Undertaker” vibe with Shango, doing close-ups of “disturbed”, frightened children, but it’s just not taking- the gimmick’s too out there. Who would have guessed that the secret to Charles Wright was to make this 6’6″, 300-lb. tattooed guy a smiling babyface instead?

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Sabu vs. The Lightning Kid (and other Dream Matches)

And it’s time for more Dream Matches- this one actually featuring a GOOD match! Sabu vs. The Lightning Kid! LIGHTNING FOOT in the WWF! And a weird 2007 6-Man Tag with DOINK of all people in a WWF ring with Kane & Eugene as partners. Ric Flair versus a jobber luchador, and one of the laziest Indie Show matches you will ever witness.

A reminder that WWF-owned videos are not kosher to post here- these are all on YouTube, however.

SABU (w/ Oliver Humperdink) vs. THE LIGHTNING KID:

(NWA Grandslam ’93)
* Yes, this is one of the famous indie tape-trader dreams, featuring Sean Waltman (pre-1-2-3 Kid) versus SABU. Sabu, in pink Prince of Persia pants, goes after the announcer before the match to play off his “crazy person” gimmick, while the Kid, in his WWF gear with “L. Kid” printed on his ass, looks like a 14-year old.

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What the World Was Watching: WWF Superstars – August 5, 1995

Vince McMahon hypes today’s Shawn Michaels-Skip main event.

McMahon and Dok Hendrix are in the booth and they are taped from Evansville, Indiana.

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What the World Was Watching: The Action Zone – July 23, 1995

Jim Ross and Todd Pettengill are in the booth and they are concluding this set of tapings from Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.

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What the World Was Watching: WWF Superstars – July 15, 1995

Vince McMahon and Dok Hendrix are the commentary team for today’s show and they are still in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

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What the World Was Watching: Monday Night RAW – July 10, 1995

Vince McMahon recaps Sid’s cowardly behavior that dates back to a sneak attack on Shawn Michaels the night after WrestleMania XI.  Sid says that he will tell the audience later tonight why he does not fear a lumberjack match against Diesel at In Your House 2.

McMahon and Jerry Lawler are tonight’s commentary team and they are still taped from Danville, Pennsylvania.

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What the World Was Watching: WWF Superstars – June 24, 1995

Vince McMahon and Dok Hendrix are in the booth and they are concluding the tapings in Wheeling, West Virginia.  Hendrix relives his Freebird days by dancing to Michaels theme music in the announce booth.

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What the World Was Watching: The Action Zone – June 18, 1995

A video package recaps how the Shawn Michaels-Rad Radford feature match was set up on last week’s show.

Jim Ross and Todd Pettengill are broadcasting today’s edition of the show and they are still in Johnstown, Pennsylvania.

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What the World Was Watching: The Action Zone – June 11, 1995

Jim Ross narrates a video package that puts over Adam Bomb and Jean-Pierre LaFitte, announcing that both men will face each other on today’s show.

Ross and Stan Lane are doing commentary and they are kicking off a new set of tapings in Johnstown, Pennsylvania.  The tapings were done on June 7 and according to historyofwwe.com they drew 2,000 fans.

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What the World Was Watching: Monday Night RAW – June 5, 1995

The WWF blimp is shown hovering over Struthers High School, where tonight’s show is taking place, and Bob Backlund is seen giving a campaign speech, telling students that if they do not get an education the government is going to put them back in slavery.  Vince McMahon does not reveal that the show is actually coming from a high school, though, as he says it is from an arena.

McMahon and Jerry Lawler are on commentary and they are live from Struthers, Ohio.  According to historyofwwe.com the show drew a sellout crowd of 1,450 fans.  McMahon, like a good promoter, makes sure to mention that the last episode did a record rating.  Lawler gloats that he has tricked Bret Hart into signing up for a “kiss my foot” match.

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