ECW on Sci-Fi 10/14/2008 #123

We’re in Las Vegas, NV and we start with an even-sweatier-than-usual Mark Henry. We get clips from last week of Henry’s destruction of Jamie Noble and Matt Hardy. Tony Atlas demands a title shot for Henners but Teddy disagrees and makes Henry one of the choices at Cyber Sunday for a title match. Henry stares down Teddy until Air Bourne’s original (superior) theme interrupts things. Bourne offers Henry a hand-shake but retracts it while grinning to show his alliance with The Riott Squad and guaranteeing he’s going to get his wig split.

Read moreECW on Sci-Fi 10/14/2008 #123

ECW on Sci-Fi 10/07/2008 #122

We’re in Skoplane, WA (home of Chuck Jones & David Lynch so it sounds like a lovely place). Matt Hardy retained at No Mercy last week so our main event is announced as…an eight man tag guest-starring Kofi Kingston and CM Punk. And absolutely nothing is made of the fact the former World Heavyweight Champion is returning to ECW, Striker simply hypes the ”young, upcoming talent” and try to pretend Punk’s Worst Run As Heavyweight Champion Since Tim Sylvia didn’t happen.

Read moreECW on Sci-Fi 10/07/2008 #122

ECW on Sci-Fi 09/30/2008 #121

We’re in Green Bay, WI and Teddy Long starts the show by sadly letting Tiffany introduce ECW Champion and The World’s Strongest Challenger Mark Henry to the ring. Henry reminds Matt he has a tough week ahead of him as he’s in the Triple Threat Brand Champion match on Smackdown with Jericho and HHH. If you haven’t seen that match, take a guess how it ends and you’ll be right.

Read moreECW on Sci-Fi 09/30/2008 #121

ECW on Sci-Fi 09/23/2008 #120

We’re in Columbus, OH with Matt Striker and Jim Ross (replacing Grisham) and we start with Morrison & Miz on the mic. Miz is furious at Evan Bourne’s win last week as even though it was a win for him, Miz was technically the more superior athlete. They should be headlining PPVs not babysitting newbies. Miz headlining a PPV? Haaaaa good one.

Read moreECW on Sci-Fi 09/23/2008 #120

ECW on Sci-Fi 09/16/2008 #119

Matt Hardy vs. Mike Knox

Knox still has welts on his face from last week’s tag match, courtesy of Matt Hardy (I’m pretty sure it was Finlay but it makes for a better story so illallowitmillslane.jpg)

Read moreECW on Sci-Fi 09/16/2008 #119

ECW on Sci-Fi 09/02/2008 #117

We’re in Pittsburgh and we start with The Dirt Sheet. John Morrison brags about beating Stephen Hawking at 44 consecutive games of Pachisi. It gets no reaction so Miz says hello and gets booed. He mentions Unforgiven is taking place in his hometown of Ohio and gets even more boos. I don’t know much about American cities but I know that Ohio is up there with Detroit for ”name somewhere that’s going to get booed.”

Read moreECW on Sci-Fi 09/02/2008 #117

ECW on Sci-Fi 08/26/2008 #116

We’re in Wilkes-Barre and Tiffany introduces the show to…introduce Teddy Long. Long announces that they will be following in the steps of Raw & Smackdown and the ECW Title match at Unforgiven will now be a Scramble Match. Hilariously, Teddy tells us he isn’t going to try to explain the rules but encourages us to check out WWE dot com instead. Given Teddy’s track record with describing things more complicated than ”get pinned, lose” that’s for the best. Here you go Tedders:

Read moreECW on Sci-Fi 08/26/2008 #116

ECW on Sci-Fi 08/19/2008 #115

Last week’s edition got a lot of views (probably because of the click-bait title of The One That Got A Ref Fired) so let’s continue with The One After Summerslam 2008 (oh boy I can smell the hits already.)

Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry (ECW Title)

Read moreECW on Sci-Fi 08/19/2008 #115

ECW on Sci-Fi 08/05/2008 #113

Todd Grisham starts the show by announcing Matt Striker is ”temporarily” replacing Tazz on commentary in the same way his Dad was temporarily going to get cigarettes. Striker says he may not fill up as much space on screen as Tazz but he’s better looking as Striker is still in character. I think.

Read moreECW on Sci-Fi 08/05/2008 #113

ECW on Sci-Fi #112 07/29/2008

We’re in Hershey, PA and Tazz tells us change is here with Mike Adamle becoming the Raw GM (oh god oh god) so he introduces us to ECW On Sci-Fi’s newest commentator, Tod Grisham. Well Adamle has turned into ellipsis-filled white noise these last few weeks so he can’t be any worse.

Read moreECW on Sci-Fi #112 07/29/2008

ECW on Sci-Fi #111 07/22/2008

Great American Bash was this Sunday so here’s the relevant news:

  • Matt Hardy lost the U.S. Title to Shelton Benjamin in an un-hyped match because it was useless to him after being drafted unless he was going to wrestle Chavo every PPV.
  • Morrison & Miz sadly lost their titles in to The Edgeheads in a no-build four-way tag match involving Finlay & Hornswoggle and Jesse & Festus. Luckily they didn’t get pinned in the end result but what a shitty end to a magnificent reign.

Read moreECW on Sci-Fi #111 07/22/2008

ECW on Sci-Fi #109 07/08/2008

We’re in Baton Rouge, LA and to correct my glaring error last week, Kofi Kingston got drafted the week before winning the IC Title from Jericho so he’s gone which is good for his career but sucks for ECW on Sci-Fi as the feud with Shelton Benjamin and partnership with Evan Bourne had been the highlight of the year for the brand so let’s see what’s going to fill the gap.

Read moreECW on Sci-Fi #109 07/08/2008

ECW on Sci-Fi #108 07/01/2008

It’s been a few weeks since the last ECW on Sci-Fi recap due to my hard drive dying and getting locked out of The Blog Of Doom so I’m glad there’s a news-worthy episode or this would have been ”Savio Vega at NWO 1998” levels of anti-climax.

It’s the show after Night of Champions but that’s only half the story: Around sometime the week before the show, Michael Hayes got drunk on doot-doot-doot and declared he was ”more of a N-Word than you” to Mark Henry, who somehow didn’t see the funny side of the N-Bomb being dropped by a guy that used to wear the Confederate Flag on his face while singing ”It used to be called Goodstreet until you guys moved in!” 

Read moreECW on Sci-Fi #108 07/01/2008

ECW on Sci-Fi #107 06/24/2008

It’s the show after Million Dollar Mania exploded and Vince died (again) so Teddy Long starts the show by wishing Mack-Man a speedy recovery. But anyway we’re in Houston, Texas and the Draft has happened which means the WHOMP-ASS version of ECW on Sci-Fi is finally here!

Read moreECW on Sci-Fi #107 06/24/2008

ECW On Sci-Fi #105 06/10/2008

Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne vs. Shelton Benjamin & Mike Knox

Sydal is re-named and officially part of the ECW roster after last week’s thrashing from Shelton Benjamin. Unsure why they thought Hitler’s wife was a good influence but at least Dolph Ziggler doesn’t feel lonely anymore.

Read moreECW On Sci-Fi #105 06/10/2008

ECW On Sci-Fi #104 06/03/2008

But first, WWE One Night Stand 2008!

The Big Show vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. John Morrison vs. CM Punk vs. Tommy Dreamer (Singapore Cane Match)

Read moreECW On Sci-Fi #104 06/03/2008

ECW on Sci-Fi #101 05/13/08

After winning last week, Colin Delaney is officially part of the ECW on Sci-Fi roster. Armando gives him his new contract and books Delaney vs. Knox for tonight. Sadly Delaney didn’t sign it like Arnie in The Running Man.

Read moreECW on Sci-Fi #101 05/13/08

ECW on Sci-Fi #99 04/22/2008

We’re in Greensboro, NC and tonight we get a special edition of The Cutting Edge.

Read moreECW on Sci-Fi #99 04/22/2008

ECW on Sci-Fi #98 04/15/2008

We’re in London, England and we have a big-ass main event with ECW Champ Kane teaming with WWE Champ Undertaker! Oh and it’s also Joey Styles’ last show as he’s moving onto working for WWE dot com (which he did a marvellous job of supercharging) which I’m thankful for as he’d been white noise for months. Let’s hope his replacement will be better. Oh, he’s here at the desk let’s-

oh no

OH NO.

”What happens when you take that man’s sun-glasses off? OK! I understand! We won’t go there!” starts Adamle and it’s impossible to convey how awkward and forced he sounds from his opening line and the realisation there’s another hour of TV to go.

CM Punk, Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore, Kofi Kingston vs. Elijah Burke, Deuce, Domino, Shelton Benjamin

Adamlemania continues to run wild as he talks over the ring introductions and repeats everyone’s name to remind himself who everyone is.”They will have a say in tonight’s…*looks at notes* eight-man tag team match.” He notes Kofi Kingston will be CM Punk’s tag partner. ”How do you like me now?” Adamle says Shelton will be teaming with Burke. I mean he’s technically right but he’s talking like it’s the first eight-man tag match he’s ever seen. Domino starts by getting double-teamed by Shan & Wang but it’s hard to ignore Adamle’s dead air and confusion. Punk and Shelton jostle until Shelton hurls him outside the ring and we go to break. We get Burke vs. Punk one last time before Burke leaves forever in a few weeks. Yang gets worked over by Benjamin as Tazz struggles to fill the silence as Adamle can’t think of anything to say. Deuce tags in and gets under the skin of the opposite team while he beats down Yang. I think reminding everyone he was still employed would have been enough aggravation. Eventually he makes the hot tag to Kofi who takes out Deuce with a ”leg kick” and lands the Boom Drop and we get Adamle’s legendary:


Kofi takes out Deuce with the Trouble In Paradise and it’s ”Uno, Dos, Adios.”

Winners: The goodies (I’m surprised they had a eight-man tag match, last time they were in the UK they didn’t have that many wrestlers on the entire episode. It didn’t matter though, it was a simple multi-man that would have been forgotten instantly if it wasn’t for Adamle’s best Eric The Actor impression.)

Dramatic Recap of last week’s contract signing and there’s not enough video filters on Adobe to make Bam Neely look impressive. Kane reminds us Undertaker is here and Bam is fucked. He’s not on the show tonight so Kane’s right.

Adamle tells us ”The Tazz” is in the ring for Diva Dance Off, somehow managing to overshadow titties and jiggling.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Mike Knox

There’s a MIKE KNOX WAS FRAMED sign in the crowd, oh wow remember that whole thing?

Police out of Henry County, Georgia are moving on in the Mike Knox steroid link investigation. They are more interested in finding the supplier of the drugs. Knox formerly lived in a residence in Henry County with three other wrestlers, but steroids were left behind in an attic after they moved out. Knox said the steroids weren’t his, and WWE believes him as they have defended him publicly (and continued to push him on TV).

Jon Bravo has been on the hunt for a while. Anyway, Armando wants Mike Knox to wrestle a competitive match with a future world champion…Colin Delaney!

Colin Delaney vs. Mike Knox
Knox does a better job of disposing of Colin than he did those steroids. Delaney takes some Taz-esque suplexes before Knox pins him.

Winner: Mike Knox (Armando was a glorious shit-eating dick during this Colin feud.)

Adamle starts talking about ”Mike The Miz” taking on Undertaker & Kane in a ”mitch-match” tonight while staring at his notes on camera.

Miz & Morrison talk backstage about being stronger than Kane & Undertaker as they’re always fighting each other. Morrison isn’t scared as Miz is going to be starting the match. Miz looks like he

The Miz & John Morrison vs. Kane & The Undertaker

WWE Tag Team Champions vs. ECW World & WWE Champion. ”You may think he looks like Tarzan but hits like Jane, but you’d be wrong.” OK I’ll give Adamle credit, that’s a good line. Didn’t really fit what he was going for as he was trying put over Morrison but he’s batting low so I’ll allow it. Miz starts with Kane and that goes as well for Miz as you’d expect. Undi takes in and he’s still peak-athleticism so he gets Old School early and big boots a charging Morrison like it’s nothing. Undi tries for the apron leg drop but Morrison stops him like he’s trying to leave for WCW in 2000.

Back from break, Miz & Morrison are working over Undertaker. Tazz calls them the World Tag Champs instead of the WWE ones, Adamle is contagious. Undi resumes offence on Morrison until he tags in Kane. Morrison tags in Miz but he doesn’t want any of him so Kane has to throw him in. That was cute. Kane tries the top rope clothesline but Morrison pulls him off (not like that) so Kane boots him off the apron and Morrison takes a face-first bump onto the floor like a madman. This allows Miz to get the advantage on Kane with his Scrappy Doo offence. Kane gets isolated and worked over but Kane doesn’t tend to sell body-work so he big boots Miz down and tags in Undi. It’s weird seeing Undertaker running so fluidly at this stage of his career. Benjamin Button can’t get a double chokeslam on Miz & Morrison but Kane helps him make it a single chokeslam on both. Undertaker finishes with the Tombstone Piledriver.

Winners: Kane & The Undertaker (Harmless house show match to get Undertaker on the show, who the crowd obviously loved.)

Overall: This would have been a forgotten show if it hadn’t been for Adamle’s debut. Despite the star power in the main event and eight-man tag match, there wasn’t anything that stood out above Adamle’s Holy Shit Didn’t Anyone See If This Dude Could Commentate Wrestling Before Hiring Him performance which was at least 0.8 Art O’Donnell. It would later emerge that Adamle was struggling with CTE, making this all the more alarming.

I’ve been Maffew, I wrote about wXw 16 Carat 2018 last weekend so go read that. And Botchamania 363 will be later today.