In Defense of John Cena Poopy Promos

Hey Scott,

Just a quick thought, Cena (or by extension WWE booking) gets a lot of heat for being very flippant about challenges and losing and not booking main events seriously. I agree for the most part.

HOWEVER, considering this is a weekly show we're talking about, wouldn't treating main events that way every time have eventually gotten monotonous?  To wit, HHH. No one could every accuse him of not treating every title match like it was Clash of the Titans and that led to the classic, "I, uhhhhhhh, am, uhhhhhhhh, the Game,uhhhh" promos that got insanely boring, in part, because, for the most part, everyone knew HHH was winning one way or the other.

Obviously, Cena has the same problem. We know how Cena vs. X, for the most part, is going to turn out. Argue about the merit of Super Cena at another time, but the writers know Vince wants Cena to win, so Cena wins, so everyone knows Cena's going to win. So why not keep the dial at 6 or 7 until it's time for 11? If given a Strawman choice between constant Super Serious and constant Super Cena, I imagine most people are likely to pick the later. In any event, Cena has the capability to turn on the heat when it's important. So why not keep things light until it's time to get heavy?


​The problem is that he never does get heavy.  And he's shrugged off some of the biggest potential money-drawing angles ever, like the Brock match in 2012 and the Nexus angle, just to name two.  It's great that he has the ability to pull out a money promo when he needs to, but he rarely does and it makes it all the more frustrating when you want to like him but just can't because his primary method of building up a big grudge match is to show badly photoshopped baby pictures or something equally silly.  ​

In Defense of Battleground (or: Marks Everywhere)

Okay, so I’m reading all the reactions and I wonder if everyone saw the same show I did.  You saw a ****1/2 tag title match, one of the best women’s matches of the year, Swagger carrying Rusev in a ten-minute war, Jericho and Wyatt putting on a good match, and an awesome Fatal Four-Way that basically MADE Roman Reigns without giving him the title so that Viking Space Lord Brock Lesnar can tear apart John Cena at SummerSlam.

(rant begins now — the following does not represent Scott Keith or anyone but me)

It’s amazing… you don’t give two smark darlings 15 minutes of MEANINGLESS wrestling before they brawl into the crowd and it’s a complete failure.  And then you say I’m the mark when I make a big deal out of Daniel Bryan’s road to Mania 30?  Wow.

Dean Ambrose is not a traditional wrestler.  He won’t wait for the opportunity in the ring because he has no patience.  It’s his character and his gimmick.  Therefore, for him to attack before the match began makes perfect sense.  For there to be no winner makes absolute sense.

“But they didn’t dance around for 10 minutes in a fake fight beforehand!”  Shut up, all of you.  This is not real and this is not Ring of Honor.  They don’t have to put on great matches to advance the story.  And tonight advanced the story.

“But it’s a Special Event and…”  SO?  Did you want it to end tonight?

“But I was watching just for that match and…”  Wait.  One match.  That’s all you care about?  If you were watching for a great match, you got it — in the opener.  If you were watching for a blood feud of a match that must continue, you got it — Swagger and Rusev will meet again.  If you were watching to see the Shield made stars, you got it — Roman Reigns looked like a million bucks.

If you’re all marks for Ambrose and Rollins and the rest of WWE can die in a fire, at least admit it.

In defense of WWE writers…

What a thankless job that must be…I mean, not compared to my horrendous, cheap, and ultra shitty job, bust still.  I feel like they have a pretty tough assignment, all things considered.  They have to write scripts for people who are not actors, create storylines for fans who are probably 40% mouth breathing rednecks, 50% kids, and 10% internet nerds, nearly none of which have any overlap in what they would like to see.  Not only that, but they produce at least 5 hours of TV each week, 3 of which is live.  SNL is usually horrendous, and they are stocked with Ivy Leaguers, and they can't pull off an hour of compelling TV each week.  And yes, I know SNL is an hour and a half long show.  Add to that the politics, having to write around injuries, McMahon family whims, and network heads breathing all over their necks, and it's got to be an incredibly difficult position to be in.  Again, not saying I wouldn't trade it immediately for my crappy job, but in terms of writing gigs, I don't think it would be considered "cushy".

I guess I'm just trying to say I thought the Daniel Bryan thing on Monday night was pretty rad.

Yeah, it's a thankless and miserable job, for sure.  And it doesn't pay for shit, either.  There's no question that shaving 4 hours or more of programming away from the system would help out a ton — just look at NXT.  One person booking one 45 minute show per week, and everything makes sense without things getting dropped for no reason.  Ultimately, the writers aren't to blame for the biggest problems, Vince and now HHH are.  

In Defense of the WWECW

Hey Scott,
I know there are lots of reasons why Raw is lame right now, but I wonder if one of the reasons is when things on Raw got repetitive had a tendency of plucking whoever was hot on ECW off of that show and hotshot them onto Raw. They did it with Swagger, with Mark Henry, Evan Bourne, Sheamus, & Morrison/Miz. They usually squandered whoever they brought over (no surprise), and it was always to the detriment of ECW (like they gave a shit), but it was the smallest jolt of something new happening. They can't do this with NXT because they don't even bother to put it on TV. I guess if I have a point, WWE's sissy-pants ECW kinda served the same purpose of the real ECW, and now it's gone too.

The problem is more with their developmental system in general.  You could say that HHH is developmentally challenged, I suppose.  
*drops microphone, walks off*