Michael’s LIVE Impact Review

MAY 31, 2012

–  Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz.  Live in Orlando, Florida.

–  Pyro kicks it off with lumberjacks surrounding the ring and here we go!

1.  Bobby Roode vs.  Sting
–  Sting attack Roode at the bell with back hands.  Roode tries to chop him and Sting hiptosses him off the no-sell.  Roode gets hung up in the corner and Sting kicks him to the floor.  RVD throws him back in quick and Sting belts him back out.  Roode tossed back into an inverted atomic drop.  Stinger Splash misses and he gets tossed into the arms of the heel side.  Sting shoulderblocks back in and backdrops Roode.  Sting goes after Roode and gets thrown out the ring.  Heels beat him down and Roode takes advantage on the inside.  Jumping kneedrop gets 2.  Sitting waistlock on Sting by Roode.  Roode tosses Sting back outside and Sting beats the heels down.  With that we’ll be right back.  Back on Impact as Roode tries to chop Sting down in the corner.  Sting no-sells and tosses Roode to the floor.  Sting FLIES TO THE FLOOR ON ROODE AND SURROUNDING AREAS!  Back in the ring, Sting goes for the Scorpion Death Lock.  Roode counters with the Crossface.  Sting makes the ropes.  Botch on the Fisherman Suplex.  We go for it again, Sting side steps, Scorpion Death Drop connects.  Sting clamps on the Scorpion Death Lock and Roode taps out @ 13:41.  (A good way to kick off Impact and the crowd is actually hot tonight.  Sting gave it a great effort and Roode looked good too.  C+.)
–  And we now get Hulk Hogan appearance number one tonight.  Hogan books Sting versus Roode at Slammiversary for the TNA Heavyweight Title.  Not really digging that one.
–  Backstage, Madison Rayne is feeling good about meeting Brooke Hogan tonight.
–  Out in the ring, Bully Ray shows us the footage of him beating up Joseph Park from last week.  He invites Park to hit the ring for another ass-kicking.  Park won’t go until Ray makes remarks about his brother.  Ray tells security to let him through.  Park goes to leave the ring and Ray says he beat up Abyss months ago.  Park grabs Ray and Ray drops to his knees.  Ray says if he hits him, he’ll sue.  Park lets him go and Ray calls him a bigger coward than his brother.  Park challenges Ray ot a fight right now.  Ray says they will do it at Slammiversary.
–  A video (horribly done) shows for Crimson.  He is shown enjoying it wearing his new shirt with Papa Shango on the front.
–  Austin Aries is shown getting ready and he accidentally sprays Samoa Joe with it.
2.  Chris Sabin vs.  Austin Aries
–  Quick criss-cross to begin and Aries hits a dropkick for 2.  Sabin tries a rollup and boots Aries to the face.  Crucifix attempt and Sabin gets 2.  Sabin to the outside and Aries dives low through the ropes on him.  Back inside, Aries in a Tree ‘O Woe and misses a delayed dropkick in the corner.  Aries misses a dropkick to the corner and Sabin with a baseball slide dropkick sending Aries to the floor.  Twisting plancha on the outside connects.  Aries hung up in the ropes and Sabin nails a Slingshot Twisting Suplex for 2.  Sabin with a fireman’s carry and Aries turns out and rolls him up for the win @ 3:48.  (Great fast paced action and flawless in-ring.  Great TV match.  C+.)
–  Earlier today, Taz was talking with Hulk Hogan.  Apparently Taz is replacing Ric Flair in Gut Check.  Taz may be shorter than Sky Low Low.
–  Yesterday from Nashville, Bruce Pritchard, Al Snow, and Taz discuss Joey Ryan from last week.  Pritchard says he looks like a 70’s porn reject.  Taz doesn’t think he took things seriously.  Pritchard says he wasn’t blown away but he would remember him.  Taz says promo a bunch of times and we’ll be right back.
–  Dixie Carter makes her way out and the crowd actually goes dead because they had no idea who was walking out.  She announces that at Slammiversary we will get the first inductee for the TNA Hall of Fame.  How original.  She brings out the new director of the TNA Knockouts, Brooke Hogan.  Dixie and Brooke say a whole lotta nothing.  
–  Backstage, Daniels and Kaz wonder why Dixie didn’t bring up AJ.  Daniels says since they are live, he will bring it up after he beats AJ Styles.  
–  The winner of the website voting to see who will face Devon for the Television Title is….
3.  Devon vs.  Jeff Hardy
–  Couple of near falls get things started and we have a stalemate.  Hardy with a headlock, tries a head scissors throw, and Devon drops him with a clothesline.  Hardy comes back with a kick and Devon hits the mat.  Hardy runs and hops on the middle rope.  Devon ducks and grabs a neckbreaker from up high.  He hooks the leg for 2.  Hardy floats over on a lift and hits the Twist of Fate.  Hardy heads up top for the Swanton and gets tossed to the mat by Robbie E for the DQ @ 4:18.  (I was already prepared for the Hardy title win and this finish sucked.  Not a bad match either.  C-.)
–  Hardy and Devon take out Robbie E and ROBBIE T with Poetry in Motion.  ROBBIE T disrobes and flexes in the aisle.  
–  We see James Storm and his daughter on his farm riding horses.  She asks him if he is going back ot wrestling and that is a heat-getter for him.  He ends the interview abruptly.  
–  Back on Impact and we see the history between AJ Styles, Daniels and Kazarian.
–  But first, is time for the fate of Joey Ryan and Gut Check.  Bruce Pritchard, Al Snow, and Taz stand in the ring.  Joey Ryan is in the ring and looks extra Ron Jeremy tonight.  Pritchard says he likes the look but being int he business after 12 years, he should have already been a star.  He gives him a no.  Al Snow says he doesn’t like him.  But the question is potential.  Snow gives him a yes.  Ryan says a few short words and Taz is not impressed.  He says that if his career lives or dies by that promo, he ain’t getting in TNA.  Taz tells him no and we a have a moment of awkwardness as Ryan and Taz exchange words. Taz (of all people) says Ryan isn’t in shape enough to go through the rigors of day to day with TNA.  May have been shooting there.
4.  Daniels vs.  AJ Styles
–  Bell rings and Daniels slaps him in the face.  AJ chases his and dropkicks him down in the ring.  Daniels drops AJ with a sucker punch.  They battle for a suplex on the ropes and Daniels drops AJ down on the apron.  He sends AJ flying into the guardrail from the apron.  We’ll be right back.  Back on TNA and Daniels continues to punish AJ in the corner.  AJ jumps out of the back suplex and hits a turning kick on Daniels.  AJ nails the Springboard Forearm on Daniels.  He goes for the springboard inverted DDT, blocked, PELE connects.  AJ heads up and connects on a second Springboard, inverted DDT and gets the win @ 10:30.  (Great match between the two.  Wish they had more time.  C+.)
–  Kazarian comes in and attacks AJ.  Now here comes Kurt Angle and he suplexes him down.  Daniel attacks Angle and Kaz goes to zip tie Angle to the ropes and it won’t stay.  AH HAHAHAHA!  Daniels improvises by knocking out AJ with the tag belt.  Daniels says no one still believes them about AJ and Dixie Carter.  He plays a phone conversation between Dixie and AJ where AJ asks her if her husband will be at their home.  Dixie tells AJ not to let him know he is coming into town.  All of a sudden Dixie runs out to the announce table and yells through Taz’s headset to cut the show off.  Show ends.
–  Well, I was so pumped all day for this show.  Instead, I am kind of bummed now.  I thought for sure we would get a good surprise tonight.  Nothing to note.  And Sting gets another title shot at Slammiversary?  For fuck’s sake.  I knew with Dixie on the show, we would get a good acting gem from her tonight.  And as the show ended, she did not disappoint.  Very contrived.  I can’t defend this show.  But still better than Raw on Monday.  See you next Thursday, LIVE!