(Not a new post, as I did this one while going through the entire run of Clash shows last year after they got added to the Network. But since we’re at that point, might as well post it again.) The SmarK Rant for Clash of the Champions XXXIII (August 1996) Dedicated to the memory of Mark “OfficerFarva” Haas. (I will also just add that I was going through my inbox tonight to continue my quest of cleaning out stuff that no longer applies or is too dated to answer, and I was saddened to have to archive a bunch of stuff from Mark, because he always had really good discussion material to add but I just couldn’t get to all of it.) Live from Denver, CO Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Bobby Heenan Into the nWo era now, shortly after Hogan won the title at Hog Wild, and it’s an entirely different promotion from the last Clash we saw. Hall and Nash are here, Hogan is a heel, Luger is 100% babyface and so are the Four Horsemen. Cruiserweight title: Rey Mysterio v. Dean Malenko Ever notice that Rey and Dean’s music are basically the same thing? Malenko attacks before the bell with a suplex and dumps Rey, but he slides back in and hits Dean with the rana off the apron. Back in, they trade acrobatics and Rey gets a moonsault for two and kicks Dean to the floor. Back in, Dean drops him on the top rope via a powerbomb to take over, and goes to a chinlock. We take a break to shill the official Hog Wild denim jacket (only $89.95!) and return with Dean flinging Rey around the ring until Rey flips into a rollup for two. Rey used to be so fun before all the steroids. Dean goes to the legbar and then launches him into a faceplant for two. Rey tosses Dean and follows with a somersault dive, then moonsaults off the railing in a spot that could have went horribly for him. Back in, springboard dropkick gets two. Rey reverses a tilt-a-whirl for two. West Coast Pop gets two. They fight on top and Dean gets the SUPER EXPLODING GUTBUSTER for the pin, but Rey’s foot is on the ropes. The ref rings the bell, but then takes it back and Rey rolls him up for the pin at 14:20 to retain. This is the time when the cruiserweight division launched into the stratosphere. ***3/4 GLACIER is coming, muthafucka! Keeping in mind this is August 1996 and he didn’t even show up on TV until, what, mid-97? VK Wallstreet v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan The VK Wallstreet gimmick was of course another oh-so-subtle dig at Vince McMahon and his mainstream aspirations. We all know who got the last laugh on that one. Wallstreet immediately makes the mistake of pointing to his head to indicate intelligence, resulting in Duggan beating on him in the corner. Wallstreet bails and gets a cheapshot to take over, and goes to the chinlock. Duggan fights out with a slam and tapes up the fist, but VKM rolls him up and grabs the tights at 3:46. ½* Meanwhile, the Nasty Boys are upset at getting passed over for title shots and people talking shit about them. Well, they can rest easy knowing Sags would soon get forced into early retirement anyway. Konnan v. Ultimo Dragon This could be ugly. Konnan slugs him down and wraps him up in a cloverleaf, but Dragon dropkicks him to the floor and Sonny Onoo gets some kicks in. Back in, Dragon with a moonsault into a cradle for two. German suplex gets two, but Konnan rolls him over and pulls the tights at 3:00 to finish. What agent let them do the same finish two matches in a row? * Meanwhile, Scott Norton attacks Ice Train to break up a Compuserve chat. He’s the ultimate internet troll! Meng v. Randy Savage Macho appears to be a no-show due to nWo beatdown, so Meng wins by forfeit. They show replays to emphasize the point, and Hogan’s chairshots didn’t improve any after WWF mercilessly mocked him on the Billionaire Ted skits. So with that out of the way, Mean Gene interviews the new improved Dungeon of Doom (Sullivan, the Faces of Fear, Hugh Morrus) and Kevin points out that he was trying to destroy Hogan all long and thus should be thanked by everyone. Oh, and then the Leprechaun runs around ringside (not to be confused with Hornswoggle) because WCW. Madusa v. Bull Nakano At least Bull had little worry about getting fired for doing coke in WCW. They practically gave it out at the door. Madusa misses a dropkick and gets tossed around the ring by the hair, but then gets greedy and beats on her with nunchuks. Somehow the ref misses this and the match continues. Madusa comes back with a bad bodypress, but Nakano sits on her for two. Bull goes up and Madusa dropkicks her to the floor and follows with a dive on Onoo. Onoo tries a kick to retaliate, but hits Nakano and Madusa rolls her up for the pin at 2:30. Really, three rollup finishes in a row? *1/2 Meanwhile, Ric Flair and his harem are ready for Hogan’s nonsense. Flair gets a great play off Hogan’s previous promo about how Hogan beat up his best friend by noting that he can’t beat up his own best friend, and neither can Hogan. Diamond Dallas Page v. Eddie Guerrero Last run for heel DDP before the nWo started courting him to lead to his face turn. Eddie gets a headscissors into a dropkick, but charges and hits the post to allow DDP to take over. Gutbuster and tilt-a-whirl slam gets two. Eddie fights back and hits the springboard senton for two, but Page powerbombs him for two. They fight to the top and Eddie shoves him off and finishes with a frog splash at 4:20 to win DDP’s Battlebowl ring. DDP offers a handshake, but then turns on him with a pair of Diamond Cutters to spoil Eddie’s glorious moment. ** Meanwhile, Hogan notes that Flair will be known in the ratings as the stupid little man who couldn’t get the job done. That would be some pretty specific quarter hour information. GLACIER is still kicking stuff! ROADHOUSE! Chris Benoit v. The Giant Very morbid on the Horsemen side, as Benoit and both his valets are gone. Giant was rapidly improving at this point, but this was a quick dropkick and chokeslam at 0:25. It is insinuated that Woman accidentally cost him the match, but I don’t think that went anywhere. This whole period is a blur for me, so I forget if she ended up turning on the Horsemen. WCW Tag titles: Harlem Heat v. The Steiner Brothers v. Sting & Lex Luger Luger gets beat up in the Heat corner but returns fire on Stevie Ray, then Rick Steiner lays both guys out with clotheslines and bulldogs Stevie for two. The Heat takes over on Rick and we take a break. Back with Rick powerslamming booker, but Sting tags himself in and hits a flying chop on Booker for two. Sting with a press slam for two. We get a shockingly boring heat segment with Luger pounding on Rick and nothing of note going on, until Scott comes in with a belly to belly on Lex and it’s a six-way donnybrook. In this commotion, Hall and Nash join us while Scott hits the frankensteiner on Booker, and Nick Patrick calls for the DQ in the middle of his count to screw the Steiners over at 13:00. So I guess it’s a no-contest? Who do you disqualify in a three-way match? *1/2 Nick Patrick gives an interview with Mean Gene afterwards, explaining his actions and sounding like Kenny Powers. WCW World title: Hulk Hogan v. Ric Flair So in the bizarre after-effect of Hogan’s heel turn, people are now cheering him again since the act was so incredibly hot and thus fresh again. Flair works a headlock and they trade taunts, but Hulk goes to work on the arm and Flair fights back with chops. More stalling from Hulk and they do a test of strength before Flair gets tossed out now. Geez, they’ve wrestled each other a zillion times, you’d think they could get something going here. Hogan slugs away in the ring, but Flair suplexes him and Hogan hulks up. The crowd goes nuts for this, so thankfully Hogan phased it out pretty quickly. Legdrop misses and Flair gets the figure-four, so Hogan throws the ref down and the Outsiders run in for the DQ at 8:04. Pretty brutal. * The Pulse Bunch of short, bad matches and TERRIBLE finishes here. Strong recommendation to avoid.
There was a time when the Clash of Champions was an event. The pinnacle of non-PPV happenings, it was a bridge between extended PPV lulls, and a means to kick off hot new feuds.
Of course, that was then, and this is now. The Clash of Champions is more of a hindrance than a necessity, with WCW simply filling out their obligations to the TBS timeslot. This one, in particular, was amongst the least promoted affairs I can ever remember, with Scott Hall vs Lex Luger vaguely mentioned on last night’s Nitro, and apparently Benoit and Sullivan will brawl as well, though it’s unlikely to top what we saw last night. Oh, speaking of, AWArulz was able to locate a solid copy of the wonderfully violent and uncomfortable match that I believed had no Internet presence at all. Enjoy!
We are LIVE from Milwaukee, Wisconsin – home of the CRUSHER! He is not mentioned by TONY SCHIAVONE, DUSTY RHODES, or “SOBER” BOBBY HEENAN. They ARE talking in depth about the “Domestic Dispute” that is Benoit and Sullivan. Oh boy.
DEAN MALENKO vs. THE ULTIMATE DRAGON (with Sonny Onoo) (for the WCW world cruiserweight title)
This is a return from last night, but if you don’t remember it, I don’t blame you since they were given about 6 seconds and no ring entrances. MIKE TENAY’s Cruiserweight Sniffing Dogs begin barking uncontrollably, causing Iron Mike to come tripping over himself and face planting into the announce table to call this one. Mike, I love the passion, but Dusty’s fine on his own, I promise. Sure, he might call the occasional plancha a “jumparoo”, and a spinning heel kick might be confused with a “didja see that Toneh?” But the man’s a veteran, he is not to be trifled with by these young (old) Internet lucha-nerds. In fact, he immediately shows why I offer my undying support, by talking about Dragon’s manager “Sonny Bono”. Dusty, I got you babe. Dragon works a leg-lock as we take our first commercial break.
Malenko’s showing a little fire when we get back, accentuated with a standing brainbuster for 2. Dragon responds by kicking him around like a European football. After a quick powder, Malenko leaps back into this with a backdrop suplex, and grapevines the leg. Dusty speculates this might be a setup to the Cloverleaf. He might be on to something, because Malenko moves to a half crab. Dragon kicks Malenko in the face repeatedly, but that doesn’t work so he uses the road more travelled by simply grabbing the rope. Malenko thinks that’s cool, and drops him with a single leg atomic drop. Dragon throws a couple of shots, so Deano dumps him to the floor and stomps the leg which is draped over the top of the guardrail. Back in, he goes for a Figure Four, but he can’t fully hook it. Upon release, Dragon hits a spinning heel kick and heads upstairs, but Malenko’s barely rattled and cuts him off. A superplex draws a HUGE pop, and a victory roll gets 2! Dragon tries one of his powerful kicks, but Malenko blocks and goes for a powerbomb – except Dragon rolls through and gets 2!! A dropkick sends Malenko to the floor, and he’s right behind with a … well, Malenko sidesteps but Dragon lands on his feet and whips Dean to the guardrail. Asai moonsault is right behind, and Sonny, sensing victory, portrays a desperate stereotype. Back in, a suplex sets up a moonsault, but Malenko kicks out at 2. I think everyone thought that was it. Dean is placed on the top, and a super Frankensteiner is on point. Dragon Suplex is attempted, but Malenko escapes and goes for the Cloverleaf. Dragon escapes quickly, but he takes a tigerbomb! Sonny gets involved, so Malenko decks him, turns back, and applies the Cloverleaf in the centre of the ring! With nowhere to go, Dragon taps and we have a NEW Cruiserweight champion at 13:06! He’s your first ever 3-time champion, which makes sense since he’s also the only 2-time champion. Good match, but Dragon’s lack of selling the body-parts is starting to get to me. When he missed the dive and landed on his feet on the floor, his legs should have buckled and put Malenko back in charge, but like Starrcade, he simply ignored all the work involved with getting them to that point. ***
MIKE ENOS vs. SCOTTY RIGGS
I’m sorry, say what? I didn’t agree to this on my Clash of Champions. The Clash should be used for only the biggest stars. Take for example my personal favorite event, Clash 7, where we were treated to the likes of Ranger Ross, Norman the Lunatic, AND the Ding Dongs. Riggs wins with a forearm smash at 2:27. Riggs promises to bring Marcus Bagwell his “heart and soul” at this weekend’s PPV. Scotty, as a man who endured many a heart break in my late teens and early 20’s, listen to me: the biggest favor you can do yourself is to let it go. Bringing Bagwell your heart is only going to lead to further pain. It’s time you went out and mingled, tried out some new friends, see what works. You might be surprised. This is why Tinder was created. And tequila. DUD
“MEAN” GENE OKERLUND takes us to a break in the action, introducing ARN ANDERSON, CHRIS BENOIT, WOMAN, MONGO MCMICHAEL, and DEBRA MCMICHAEL. Gene says he spied them in a high end Chicago restaurant conducting business, and wants the scoop. The fans, on the other hand, make it clear that they want Flair. Benoit calls himself a wolverine, who takes what he wants when he wants. He’s already taken Kevin Sullivan’s wife, and now he wants his career. Mongo, to no surprise, draws the most heat since they’re in Wisconsin. He calls them a bunch of Limburger Losers. Ease up, Steven. Debra takes over, which gets Benoit, Woman, and Arn to take off in irritation. As soon as they leave, she starts talking smack about Woman.
KONAN, MR. JL, and LA PARKA vs. CHRIS JERICHO, SUPER CALO, and CHAVO GUERRERO JR.
What kind of acid trip did the bookers take before putting THIS combo together? Mike Tenay starts screaming about Lucha-Libre, but only 3 of these guys are from Mexico; assuming we are still on the story that Konan is to Mexico what Hulk Hogan is to America, and NOT that he lives in a cave with Kevin Sullivan, Jimmy Hart, Maxx, Hugh Morrus, and the Faces of Fear. Have JL and Parka taken the abandoned rooms of Bubba and Giant? I’m going to assume that Konan moved in to the Giant’s room, because there’s little doubt in my mind he had the penthouse. Leprechaun slept on a rock, so unless they’re prepared to offer a spot to Mascarita Sagrada (who was last seen crooning with Todd Pettengill on Another Channel), he’s very unlikely to be replaced. And, let’s face it, a wrestling skeleton WOULD make a fine addition to the Dungeon. On the other team, somehow Chris Jericho has been paired with a couple of guys I don’t remember ever having him maintain any kind of previous relationship with. I would at LEAST appreciate some sort of backstage segment where they cross paths, and Jericho compliments Calo on his immovable hat. Unless, of course Calo isn’t in fact a Mexican, but a Canadian Store Mannequin named Jeff who reverts to his plastic state of matter when the hat is removed from his head. Let’s not be quick to rule it out; I’ve never seen Calo without some sort of headgear. And THAT would make sense, because Jericho is also Canadian, and possibly met him during a shopping trip. Calo IS wearing a toque tonight, lending further credence to my Canadian theory. Anyway, everyone here dove on each other before Jericho eventually pinned JL with a Super Frankensteiner at 5:29. **
HARLEM HEAT (with Sista Sherri) vs. JOE GOMEZ and THE RENEGADE
WCW cuts the entrances out of this one, which is both the first match to lack entrances tonight, but ALSO the first with black wrestlers (DNA tests on Scotty Riggs pending). Sonny, take notes. I’d be hard pressed to find another Clash with so many pointless jobber matches. Honestly, I could paste this lineup as a Worldwide card, and you’d have no reason to doubt me. Booker hits an axekick, howls at the moon, but misses a guillotine on Gomez. Renegade gets the hot tag, and is immediately dropped with a clothesline. Heat Seeker finishes for the former champs at 3:44. I’m thinking the only way Renegade has a shot of ever winning again is if he decides to start shooting, but he’d probably only wind up hurting himself. 1/2*
MASAHIRO CHONO vs. ALEX WRIGHT
They booked this show 48 minutes ago, didn’t they? Did only 30 wrestlers show up tonight, leaving them with virtually no options? Can we expect to see Gambler make his Clash debut? Please? NICK PATRICK takes his spot as the designated referee, complete with the nWo shirt because any hopes at subtlety are long out the window at this point. A spinning heel kick gets about a 14 count in real time, but only 1 and a half from Patrick. A small package yields the same. The fans are ready to revolt, not because they give a damn about Wright or anything, but because it’s been 6 months of this now with absolutely no comeuppance from WCW. They have no recourse, and the results are never in doubt, which is getting aggravating from a viewer standpoint. Wright finally has enough and kicks Patrick in the knee, but he refuses to call a DQ since Chono hits a superkick and scores the pin at 4:29. ENOUGH. -***
EDDIE GUERRERO vs. SCOTT NORTON
Nick Patrick stays in the ring, just in case you had any hope of watching anything entertaining tonight. This is Bischoff’s problem on the whole; once he sees something that he thinks is BRILLIANT, he’ll beat it into the ground. And, despite the fact that this Patrick nonsense is already getting under my skin, it’s only going to get worse. Expect large mood fluctuations. Eddie doesn’t manage to make a whole lot happen, because Norton no-sells virtually everything. Tony applauds the nWo’s acquisition of Norton, because he might have been one of the WCW guys to stand tall against them. A standing vertical suplex sees Eddie just get dropped with no effort, and a powerslam has Norton screaming about “NWO STYLE!” No, nWo style would have featured 40 run ins, and 3 minutes of Bischoff vigorously masturbating. Eddie plays possum while Norton decides to go up top for like the first time ever, and Eddie cuts him off with uppercuts. A super rana takes the man down, but Norton dodges a senton bomb. Norton throws a shoulerblock spear that accidentally takes out both Guerrero and Patrick, and DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE sneaks in from the crowd to drop Norton with a Diamond Cutter and a HUGE pop! Frog Splash forces Patrick’s hand, because Norton is simply NOT kicking out, and Eddie scores the pin at 6:39. All my previous complaints still stand; one anomaly does not make up for the other 100 matches we need to endure to get there. *
THE GIANT calls Hogan a “four legged feline”. … oh.
10 Exciting Winners have been Randomly Selected to attend Superbrawl! And, because you’re not paying for this show (not that this would stop them), Tony takes the time to slowly read them off one at a time as opposed to have an intern call them at home. I don’t want to suggest that this is in fact rigged, but I find it unlikely that 10 different states had winning entrants. Arkansas has like a quarter of an electoral vote, but somehow they’ve got enough firepower to have someone on their way to Superbrawl? This is the most suspicious I’ve felt about a lottery since the Pittsburgh Penguins, on the verge of bankruptcy, miraculously landed Sidney Crosby.
KEVIN SULLIVAN (with Jimmy Hart) vs. CHRIS BENOIT (with Woman) (in a Falls Count Anywhere match)
The intensity is turned down a little tonight, as both guys are able to get through complete entrances without a single punch being thrown. Sullivan calls for Benoit to start on the floor, and Chris obliges. Right through the crowd they go immediately, throwing stiff potato shots at each other as they wade through the ocean of bodies. Through the concession area and into the bathroom, and Benoit is thrown face first through the paper towel dispenser. He lies in front of the row of urinals, and Sullivan smashes Benoit’s head with the dispenser. Jesus!!! Benoit feeds it right back with a trashcan that flies errantly into Jimmy Hart! The referee makes his counts with one foot in the urinal; there simply isn’t enough Purell for this! Chris is thrown head first into the vent, and these guys are taking all shots full tilt. Back into the arena, both guys drenched in urinal from the filthy ass gents who can’t control their stream, Benoit is thrown down about 30 rows of stairs!! He usually does them about 5 at a time, but tonight … good LORD. In the ring, Sullivan’s in control and looks to win his second in a row. Chris is tied to the tree of woe, and the running knee connects with Benoit’s kidneys. The double stomp is on point, but Benoit kicks out! I think he might be the first guy to escape that move. Hart loses his shit, and starts screaming bloody murder at the referee, allowing Woman to enter and wallop Sullivan in the head with a wooden chair! Benoit, breathless, rolls over and gets the pin at 5:12! As if enough damage hasn’t been done to the old man, Benoit grabs the chair again and SHATTERS it over Sullivan’s head! These guys are stupid ridiculous; and while the template remains the same every single time, you can’t deny their drive to kill each other, be it with violence, or a bad case of CMV. ****
THE AMAZING FRENCH CANADIANS (with Colonel Robert Parker) vs. THE STEINER BROTHERS
Parker’s donned his Colonel Klink gear tonight, and vows to show the world what Canadians are made of. Please, a real French Canadian would have already chain-smoked their way through a half-pack of MacDonalds. The boys try to sing the anthem, but Steinerized cuts them off because there’s no respect for la Belle Province in ‘Murica. Won’t WCW be sorry when they try and seek sponsorship from Jean Coutu. The voices of THE OUTSIDERS take over the arena and taunt the Steiners; vowing to finish them if the “Molson Canadians” in the ring don’t do it tonight. This is Scott’s return to the ring after an extended injury, and he’s developed a leather fetish during his off-time. Tony applauds the new look … hmmmmmmm. Tony has about 3 months to decide if he wants to become the face of celebrity homosexuality; or Ellen’s gonna beat him to it. Choices abound. While Tony mulls it over, we take a commercial break.
In our time away, the Canadians took over the offense while Tony took a vow of personal silence. The Quebec Crash looks to finish, but Rick rolls away and Ouellette sells hard. Rougeau punches Scotty in the face to prevent a tag, but that gives Rick the time he needs to get to his feet and hit a running clothesline. Scott gets the tag, and he’s got the beats for anything French. Noggin knocker sends Rougeau out, and Ouellette gets launched with an overhead belly to belly. Rougeau grabs the hybrid flag but misses his swing and Scott punches him in the face. A cradle DDT delivered from off the shoulders of Rick is enough to get the pin (and probably kill the big man!), and the Steiners win at 4:12. **
SCOTT HALL (with Kevin Nash and Syxx) vs. LEX LUGER
Dusty hilariously freaks out during Luger’s fireworks, because he thinks he’s caught on fire from errant sparks. Dusty is of course mistaken, as Tony’s the only flaming in the announce booth. Luger takes a toothpick to the eyes, but before Hall can even chuckle, Luger’s locked up with him and has him shoved to his ass. HEAR HIM ROAR! Hall hits a backdrop suplex to turn it around, and he happily wipes his hands of this mess, missing the fact that Luger’s already back on his feet and screaming again. Hall hits a top rope bulldog for 2, but it’s enough to stop Lex’s adrenaline rush. Hall throws a series of shoulderblocks, but Luger stops that with a short-armed clothesline. Hall comes right back with a chokeslam, but misses the follow up elbowdrop. Luger pounds away, so Hall pulls him by the tights to launch Lex to the outside. Nash is there, and runs Luger over like a Diesel tanker. Back in, Hall maintains control, and Nash gives an assist by distracting the referee, which allows Syxx to clothesline Luger. Hall tries a pin with his feet on the ropes, but only gets 2. Hall chokes Lex in the ropes, so when the referee reads him the riot act, Nash rushes in and punches Luger in the face. A fallaway slam gets 2, so Nash tries to intimidate the referee to make him count faster. Hall locks on the abdominal stretch, and uses the ropes to increase the leverage. He’s eventually caught, and Luger hiptosses him off. Lex tries to follow up with an elbowdrop, but Hall rolls away and drops Luger with a discus punch. Luger slides outside the ring, and that catches Hall off guard – giving Lex the chance to sweep out his legs and crotch him against the ring post! Luger re-enters with a slingshot dropkick (!), and hits a quartet of atomic drops! Running clothesline has the fans amped, but a poke to the eyes from Hall stops their momentum. Luger wins them right back with a powerslam, and he decides it’s time for the Rack! He disposes of Nash and Syxx who try to interfere, puts it on … but Nash comes back in! Luger drops the hold, and hits a running clothesline on Kevin. Nash takes a pounding, but now Hall’s back on top. Syxx jumps off the top with an early version of the Curb Stomp, and the referee finally calls for the DQ at 10:34. **
Nash nails a big boot, but THE STEINERS rush the ring and go right after the tag-team champs. All 6 guys brawl back and forth, and it leads to Team WCW standing tall as the nWo retreat. Luger REALLY should be fighting for the World title, I have no idea why he’s continued to be ignored in the war against Hogan. Will the nWo finally lose a battle at their own PPV this Saturday? Don’t bank on it – but join me for it anyway.
March 22, 2003
From the Murphy Rec Center in Philadelphia, PA
Your hosts are Ray Murrow and Chris Levy
We see a clip that is sent in from backstage at the 3/15 Zero One show as Corino is in the shower and dares Christopher Daniels to cast the first stone.
Jody Fleisch interrupts the Special K rave to let them know that he has a match with Low Ki tonight and does not want to get his ass kicked as he denies their offer of drugs. Mikey Whipwreck is partying with Special K wearing a sombrero and demands the DJ play some rock n’ roll instead of techno and the rock music disturbs the other members of Special K.
Christopher Daniels is with Xavier and Alison Danger. Daniels has the FWA Heavyweight Championship over his shoulder and tells Doug Williams that he beat him at “Glory by Honor” then again two weeks ago as he won the belt. Daniels challenges Williams tonight for the #1 Contender’s Trophy and the FWA Title and if Daniels wins, he can also be allowed to shake hands in RoH again. Xavier tells Samoa Joe since Low Ki beat Joe and he beat Ki, he will beat Joe tonight and retain his title. At the end, Daniels asks Xavier if he is sure that he is ready for his match and Xavier says that he is indeed ready.
Matt Stryker vs. BJ Whitmer vs. Alex Arion vs. Dixie w/ Hijinx & Lit
Stryker and Whitmer start off the match by working the arm then they take it to the mat. Solid action from these two. They end in a standoff after a reversal sequence that draws an applause from the crowd. Whitmer tags Dixie, who pokes Stryker in the chest. Stryker works the arm then takes Dixie down with an European Uppercut. Dixie catches Stryker with a few armdrags and a leg lariat but Stryker blocks a monkey flip and tosses Dixie halfway across the ring. Arion tags and suplexes Dixie for a nearfall. Leg drop gets two. Backbreaker gets two. Whitmer makes a blind tag and holds up Arion but gets dropkicked by accident. Arion puts Whitmer in an armbar then Whitmer fights back but Stryker makes the blind tag. Arion clotheslines Stryker then hits a dropkick and a super kick. Stryker fights back and gets nearfalls with a powerslam and a backbreaker. Whitmer tags and targets the back of Arion. Dixie tags and tries to work the arm but Arion fights back. Both men collide when they attempt cross body blocks and are down on the mat. Both men tag as Stryker and Whitmer trade chops then knock the other guys off of the apron. They slug it out until Stryker hits a Death Valley Driver. Dixie breaks up the pin then hits Stryker with the Kryptonite Krunch neckbreaker and Arion makes the save and hits a Splash Mountain. Stryker slams down Arion then puts Arion in an ankle lock but Dixie breaks that up with a botched top rope hurricarana. Whitmer comes in then hits Dixie with the Exploder 98 for the win (11:26) **1/4.
Thoughts: Average match that was really only interesting when Whitmer and Stryker faced off. Arion was bland even by RoH standards and his ring work was decent but that was all. Whitmer by far had the most potential out of these guys.
Quiet Storm & Spanish Announce Team vs. Izzy & Deranged & Angel Dust w/ Mikey Whipwreck
Special K attacks their opponents from behind after they were distracted by Whipwreck to set up this match. Storm hits Deranged with the Spinal shock then Jose beats on Angel Dust and heads up top for an elbow drop. Izzy distracts the ref and Whipwreck slams Jose throat first against the guardrail. Storm & the SAT’s hit a contrived but cool looking triple-team move on Izzy that gets a standing ovation. Then, the SAT’s nearly break the neck of Angel Dust with a top rope move. Fuck, that was dangerous. Special K takes control of the match and are kicking Storm in the back. The SAT’s clean house as Deranged takes a crazy bump to the floor. Back in the ring, Jose hits Deranged with rolling brainbusters but Angel Dust breaks that up. Storm comes in and hits Angel Dust with the Storm Cradle Driver but Izzy makes the save. Joel then hits Izzy with six straight powerbombs. Brian XL and Hydro run up on the apron and put the sombrero on the ref’s head to distract him as Whipwreck hits all of his former students with the Whippersnapper as Angel Dust covers for the win (6:24) *3/4. After the match, Slugger comes in and hits Quiet Storm with the Bodybag then a second black guy in a suit with glasses comes in the ring and they have a staredown, with the other guy noticeably bigger.
Thoughts: Short match that had a few cool moves. The staredown at the end was the most interesting thing that took place here.
Ronnie from Atlas Security and Gabe Sapolsky order Homicide’s friends from last week (Julius Smokes & Louie Ramos) to calm down.
Dunn & Marcos vs. Backseat Boys
Acid comes down to the ring and has some ugly chicks put dollar bills down his pants. The Backseat Boys outsmart their opponents then hit them with stereo dropkicks. Dunn & Marcos fight back after mocking the Backseat Boys but that doesn’t last long as the Boys fight back. The crowd is really digging the Backseat Boys here. Outside the ring, Dunn hits Kashmere with a delayed vertical suplex while Acid is taking care of Marcos in the ring. Dunn comes in and they double team Acid. Dunn gets two with a top rope elbow drop and they celebrate as they are in control. Marcos gets dumped to the floor as the Boys hit Dunn with the Dream Sequence. Marcos flies in but gets caught and dumped with an H-Bomb. The Backseat Boys use some more double-team moves then Marcos blocks the T Gimmick as they rollup the Boys for two. Dunn gets knocked down then the Boys hit Marcos with the T Gimmick onto Dunn for the win (5:19) **. After the match, Acid gets on the mic and says that they are the best team in the world. Solid mic work from Acid here and its a shame that drugs ruined him before he got a shot in TNA or WWE. The Boys head backstage then encounter Da Hit Squad who say that he have to go through them first.
Thoughts: Not bad and a good showcase for the Backseat Boys, who definitely had potential. Dunn & Marcos where solid RoH-level jobbers, actually.
FWA Heavyweight Championship & RoH #1 Contender’s Match
Doug Williams vs. Christopher Daniels w/ Alison Danger
The winner of this match gets a title shot on the April 26th show. Match starts with a shoving match then they trade rollups as Daniels ducks outside as the crowd applauds. Back inside, Williams takes control and works the arm. Daniels escapes and grabs a headlock that Williams eventually counters with a back suplex. Williams targets the neck with all sorts of strikes and holds. Daniels comes back and hits a gutbuster then a slam. Daniels hits a slingshot elbow drop that gets two. Daniels is targeting the ribs then sends him to the floor with a leg lariat. They have an exchange on the floor but Daniels sends Williams into the post then once again targets the ribs of Williams. Daniels slaps Williams in the face a few times but misses a charge in the corner. Williams hits a high knee but gets caught with a knee to the ribs as Daniels covers for two then goes back on offense. Williams comes back with another high knee then rolls through a top rope double stomp and after a reversal sequence, murders Daniels with a lariat as both men are down. They battle for a bit then Williams hits a tornado DDT but takes a long time to make the cover and only gets two. Williams misses a charge and Daniels hits him with a STO then calls for a moonsault but Williams takes him down and puts him in a crossface. Daniels fights out then hits the Best Moonsault Ever but Williams is able to kick out at two. They trade chops and slaps until Daniels catches Williams with an Uranage then puts Williams in the Koji Clutch. Williams escapes then they reverse each others finishers. Williams puts Daniels in a swinging Cobra Clutch then hits Daniels on the back of the neck with a top rope knee drop for two. Daniels fights back and goes for the Angels Wings but that gets blocked and Williams ducks a swing and is able to hit Daniels with the Chaos Theory for the win (19:12) ****.
Thoughts: Excellent match. Some fine technical wrestling was on display here too. The downfall of the Prophecy continues.
CW Anderson, Samoa Joe, and Simply Luscious head down to the ring. Ramos & Smokes are yelling at them from behind the guardrail and Smokes ends up pulling down his pants and mooning Anderson. Security then orders them out then Jack Victory makes an appearance and beats them up as Rob Feinstein comes out with the announcers mention how Victory is not associated wit RoH. Homicide and Da Hit Squad run out and brawls with Anderson then they have a six-man tag match.
CW Anderson & Samoa Joe & Jack Victory vs. Homicide & Da Hit Squad
Everyone is brawling outside as the match starts. Mack and Joe are in the ring as Joe hammers away. Mack comes back with a clothesline but Joe takes him down with an enziguiri. Mafia and Joe have an exchange of strikes that ends with Mafia hitting a German suplex. Anderson comes in and Mafia clotheslines him down but Victory punches him from the apron. Homicide beats on Anderson then Joe comes in and hits him. Da Hit Squad beat on Joe. Anderson eventually hits Mafia with a spinebuster then Joe flies outside and hits Mafia with a tope. In the ring, Homicide and Anderson are going at it as this match is way too unfocused. Luscious is raking the eyes of Da Hit Squad then drags Becky Bayless from behind the guardrail and roughs her up. In the ring, Homicide takes Luscious and hits her with the Cop Killer but Anderson sneaks up from behind and hits a shoulder breaker then puts him in an armbar. The announcers let us know that the rest of the wrestlers in the match are brawling backstage but Victory comes back with a garbage can and Anderson sends Homicide through that as the ref rules the match a DQ (7:09) 3/4*. Ramos, Smokes and some other thugs, one of which has a machete, run out and clear the ring. They help Homicide to the back and leave as Smokes is flipping out.
Thoughts: Bad match. Everything felt unfocused as there was just too much going on. This was a set-up for a match at the next show though.
Gary Michael Cappetta is with Doug Williams, who promises that the next time he is in the U.S. he will take the RoH Championship.
Mase & Hotstuff Hernandez vs. Carnage Crew
Mase lets us know that Buff E couldn’t make it tonight because his “ass hurts too much.” Hernandez comes to the ring wearing a feathered boa. Hernandez starts the match by destroying the Carnage Crew with power moves. Loc hits Mase with a German suplex then yells about “faggots” then the Carnage Crew use double team moves on Mase. DeVito gets hit with a Thesz Press as Mase grinds his crotch on DeVito’s face. Hernandez yells at the ref and puts him in the corner but the Carnage Crew hit him from behind. Hernandez pops back up and ends up hitting them with a double DDT. He then rallies behind Mase as he makes the tag and runs wild on the Carnage Crew. He hits DeVito with the Dominator then catches Loc and hits a spiral bomb. He dumps the Carnage Crew then flies out over the top rope with a suicide dive that has the crowd going nuts. DeVito puts Hernandez on the guardrail with a spinebuster then hits him with a chair. In the ring, the Carnage Crew corner Mase and hit him with the spike piledriver for the win (6:29) *1/2. After the match, Buff E runs in and makes the save for Mase.
Thoughts: Hernandez really looked impressive here. He also stood out among everyone else on the roster due to his massive physique. The fans were really starting to dig him by the end too.
RoH Tag Team Title Match
AJ Styles & Amazing Red w/ Alexis Laree vs. Briscoe Brothers
Red and Jay work a nice back-and-forth sequence to start. Mark tags and works a bit with Red until AJ tags and ground Mark. These two work an impressive reversal sequence that ends with AJ hitting a release German suplex. Mark comes in and Red super kicks him as AJ hits Mark with a German then they take out the Briscoe’s with Stereo somersault planchas. Back in, Mark catches AJ with an overhead throw then the Briscoe’s double team AJ for a bit. AJ comes back and hits a gutbuster/backbreaker combo then hits Mark with a Death Valley Driver. Red tags and hits Mark with a flying elbow drop for two. He boots Mark in the face but gets caught by Jay with a springboard missile dropkick after he made a blind tag. Red hits Jay with the Brain Damage but that only gets two. AJ tags and hits a delayed brainbuster for two. AJ hits all sorts of crazy moves on Mark but is unable to put him away. Jay then catches AJ with a powerbomb and they go back and forth until Jay cuts off AJ on the top rope. Jay goes for the super Ace Crusher but AJ turns it into a back suplex in midair as both men are down. Red tags and dropkicks Jay to the floor then hits Mark with the Red Star Press after a Mafia Kick but that only gets two. Jay attacks Red from the apron as Mark knocks Red down with a lariat. Jay tags and slams Red before applying a chinlock. Red runs into a boot to the face then Jay knocks AJ off the apron as the Briscoes neutralize Red. Jay turns Red inside out with a clothesline then Mark distracts the ref so he does not see Red make the tag as the Briscoes continue to beat on Red. Finally, Red fights back and takes down both Briscoes before making the tag. AJ runs wild on the Briscoes. AJ and Jay have a battle of chops then Red and Mark go for Shining Wizards at the same time and collide. Jay clotheslines AJ to the floor then blocks a Code Red attempt with a DDT but AJ is able to make the save. He hits the Briscoes with an inverted DDT/ Guillotine combo that gets two. Jay and AJ counter each others finishers until Jay hits a Falcon Arrow. Red makes the save then cuts off Jay on top with a spin kick and heads up and hits a Super Code Red but Mark makes the save just in time. Mark is up top but gets cut off by AJ ,who then alley-oops Red and that gets turned into a hurricarana and AJ ends up catching Mark off of that and hits the Styles Clash for the win (16:43) ****1/2. Man, that was an awesome finish.
Thoughts: Phenomenal match and a legit MOTYC candidate. Definitely try to seek this match out. The Briscoe’s first match as a team in RoH was a great one.
Jody Fleisch vs. Low Ki
This match is taking place as Ki wants to teach respect to everyone in Special K. Ki takes Flesich down and works him over, mixing in the occasional strike. The crowd is really into Ki here. Ki no-sells a kick then they work a fast-paced reversal sequence that ends in a standoff. Impressive stuff. Ki takes Flesich over with a side headlock. They battle over a test of strength then Ki goes down and locks Flesich’s arms while his legs are wrapped around his head in a unique submission hold. Flesich comes back with an inverted hurricarana then a springboard dropkick. Ki is outside as the fans are going nuts for him then he hits Ki with a springboard Shooting Star Press that got a lot of height. Back inside, Fleisch gets two with a split-legged moonsault. Flesich kicks Ki in the neck then hammers away and taunts him with slaps. Ki comes back and hits a springboard kick in an awesome sequence and that gets two. He chops Fleisch in the corner then gets two with a double underhook suplex with a bridge. Flesich hits a spinning heel kick then gets two with a corkscrew body press. He tries the 720 DDT but Ki catches and puts him down then Fleisch locks on an armbar. Ki lifts him up and hits Fleisch with a Krush Rush then follows that with a rolling Koppu Kick. Ki hits Fleisch with a barrage of kicks as the crowd is loving this match. Ki beats on Fleisch but misses the Tidal Crush and gets hit with a German Suplex. Ki stretches out Fleisch, who just barely makes the ropes. They trade chops and that ends Ki hitting a Yakuza kick. Fleisch comes back with an enziguiri after a disjointed sequence as both men are down. Fleisch gets two with a victory roll but Ki powerbombs him after that and gets two with a bridge. Ki blocks a tilt-a-whirl headscissors attempt by sending Fleisch into the corner. He sets Fleisch on the top rope then eventually takes him off with a Tidal Crush that has Fleisch fall to the floor. Fleisch fits back from the air then hits a springboard Shooting Star piledriver that sounds a lot better than it looked. Ki rolls ourside as Fleisch brings him back in and covers but is only able to get two. Fleisch prepares for the 720 DDT but Ki is unable to get to his feet. Fleisch drags Ki to the corner and softens him up. Fleisch gets up top and brings Ki with him but Ki fights back. He kicks Fleisch a few times then hits him with a Super Ki Krusher that definitely warrants the “holy shit” chant from the crowd. It looked like they were going to fall off before the move too. Ki eventually covers and gets the win (19:35) ***3/4
Thoughts: Very good match that would have been better if not for Fleisch’s sloppiness as a worker. He had some rough spots here but this was still a good effort on his part. The finish was insane.
Backstage, the Special K dance party is going on strong as Fleisch limps back. They drip some drugs on his tongue and that wakes Fleisch right up and he starts dancing.
CM Punk and Ace Steel are in the ring. Punk runs down the crowd and does a damn fine job at that. e mocks the crowd as he does not wake up hungover next to disgusting women or work for a boss that he hates then runs the crowd down for going to church on Sunday’s and praying to a god that does not exist. Raven and Colt Cabana then come out as Raven cracks a joke about Punk waking up at the Neverland Ranch then basically runs down Punk for being an indy scrub. Punk finishes by saying he has beaten Raven at his game once and he will embarrass him again then tells Cabana he should be ashamed at himself for wrestling against his trainer (Steel).
Raven’s Rules Match
CM Punk & Ace Steel vs. Raven & Colt Cabana
Raven and Punk continue on the mic after the bell rings. Everyone keeps tagging out as Punk tries to avoid Raven. Steel and Raven start off as Raven works the arm. Raven tosses Steel down then beats him with a trashcan lid. Cabana tags but Steel knocks him down. Punk tags and catches Cabana with a leg lariat for two. He then chokes out Cabana in the corner but misses a charge. Cabana comes back with a running double knee strike then tags Raven but Punk runs outside. Raven chases him around but Steel hits him with a chair then sends him into the guardrail with a Russian leg sweep. Back inside, Punk hammers away on Raven in the corner. Suplex gets two. Punk puts on an Indian Death Lock variation as the announcers hype the next show. Raven makes it to the ropes but Punk sends him into the corner. He sets up a chair in the middle of the ring but Raven reverses an Irish whip and sends Punk into the chair with a drop toehold. Cabana tags and cleans house. Punk breaks up a pin attempt with a dropkick then Cabana clotheslines him to the floor. Punk is able to trip up Cabana then Raven and Steel brawl on the floor. Raven then whacks Punk in the back with a chair and Cabana hits Punk with the Colt 45 but Steel is just able to break up the pin. Punk hits a backbreaker that gets two then drags Cabana in the corner and tags Steel as they hit a double-team move that gets two. Cabana tries to fight out of the corner but Punk rakes his eyes. Punk & Steel continue to neutralize Cabana. Punk and Cabana botch a spot in which Cabana was supposed to catch Punk coming off of the top rope then Cabana slams him down and tags Raven, who cleans house with a trashcan. Punk gets drilled with a trashcan in midair then Steel flies into Punk on the outside after getting caught with a drop toehold. Raven takes them both out with a tope and Cabana tops that off with a moonsault then screams as he clutches his knee. In the ring, Steel breaks up a Raven Effect attempt with a missile dropkick. Steel and Punk have the 2-1 advantage as Cabana is still on the floor. They set him up on the table but he rolls off as Punk crashes through with an elbow drop then Raven hits Steel with the Raven Effect for the win (15:53) **1/2.
Thoughts: Decent match that dragged at points but it was the post match angle that was the most memorable.
After the match, Raven demands that Punk shake his hand but he slides out of the ring. Raven then hits Steel with another Raven Effect. Punk then yells at Cabana for not saving his trainer then attacks Raven from inside. Cabana them comes in and sqaures off against Punk but then stomps on Raven instead as the crowd boos. Cabana then tells Punk that he is about Raven being a has-been washup as he also tells them that Steel & Punk are what he knows.
Backstage, Homicide alerts us that they will be a Bunkhouse Match “Texas Style” at the next show. Julius Smokes comes in and cuts another crazy promo. Low Ki walks in and is disgusted as Homicide for bringing the streets into RoH.
Ring of Honor Championship Match
Samoa Joe vs. Xavier (Champion) w/ Simply Luscious & Christopher Daniels
Before the match, Michael Shane sneakes up from behind and drills Daniels with a super kick as CW Anderson takes Danger away as Corino’s guys have “cast the first stone”. Joe knocks down a distracted Xavier then beats on him in the corner as the announcers play up how Xavier suffered a concussion at the last show. Joe no-sells some chops then continues to beat on Xavier. Joe boots Xavier down as he tried to skin the cat then sets up a chair outside the ring and seats Xavier down before hitting him with a running Yakuza kick. Joe continues to attack Xavier in the ring. Xavier comes back with a Lung Blower then targets the neck of Joe. Overhead suplex gets two. Joe rolls outside after getting dropkicked then Xavier flies out with a tope that he turns into a swinging DDT. Back inside, Xavier goes back to attacking the neck before applying a chinlock. Ki puts on another submission move on Joe after hitting a suplex as Levy lets us know that Homicide is bringing in Dusty Rhodes as his partner for the Bunkhouse Match. Joe fights back and chops down Xavier. They have a chop exchange until Joe turns him inside out with a clothesline. Joe then hits Xavier with Rolling suplexes but Xavier is able to knee Joe in the head in midair after a suplex attempt. Xavier hits the X-Breaker then goes up top for the 450 splash but Joe gets his knees up as both men are down. Joe hits Xavier with an enziguiri then kills him with several knee strikes before applying the Coquina Clutch. The crowd goes nuts as Xavier passed out and Joe wins the title (11: 54) **1/2. After the match, Joe clutches the belt while on his knees then celebrates for a bit as he heads back to the locker room.
Thoughts: Another decent match as the unimpressive titlte reign of Xavier has finally ended. He was not a good choice as the champion.
Backstage, Raven talks about Punk and how he has a lack of balls but is impressed in his ability to put together a group together. Still, he doesnt mind how many beatings he has to take as long as he hits him with the Raven Effect then warns Punk to look over his shoulder as he will be hiding out in the weeds.
We get a video that was sent in the day after this show with Christopher Daniels talking about how it was the worst week for the Prophecy as they lost all of their titles. He says that Xavier will be out due to another concussion then turns attention to Corino and his group and lets then know that he is going to go for Joe’s title and that Morgan will be back as they challenge for the Tag Team titles. He also warns them that the Prophecy might be getting a new member and vows that the Prohpecy will be stronger than ever.
Corino sends in another promo as he reads on the internet about Homicide giving Simply Luscious the Cop Killer and that he will be back to RoH looking for him.
Final Thoughts: The big news here was the tile change as Joe is a more credible champion. But this was a very good show with some excellent matches. They are also building up feuds as the matches have more meaning to them instead of some random guys thrown together, which was still happening but not as much lately. The promotion is starting to get some momentum too. I’d recommend this show.
The SmarK Rant for WWE Night of Champions 2014 Live from Nashville, TN Your hosts are Michael Cole, JBL & Jerry Lawler WWE tag team titles: The Usos v. Goldust & Stardust What is with the weird font for the graphics tonight? Jey slugs Goldust down to start, and Jimmy beats on Stardust with a low dropkick for two and a stungun. Jey gets caught in the corner, however, and double-teamed while the announce team debates whether the Cosmic Key is the tag titles or not. It’s a METAPHOR, morons. Jey slugs back on Goldust and Jimmy comes back in while Cole gets into a stupid argument with JBL over the semantics of which tag title that the APA held. They fight on the floor and Goldust gets powerslam out there, which gets two in the ring. Stardust goes all feral and stomps away, and Goldust hits the chinlock before hitting a spinebuster for two. Stardust with a facelock and he counters a samoan drop into a neckbreaker for two. Why is the ref wearing medical gloves out there? Was someone bleeding off camera or something? Stardust with another chinlock, but he charges and hits the post and it’s hot tag Jey. He throws kicks on Stardust and goes after the leg, while Jimmy hits Goldust with a dive. Jey with a cross body for two. Samoan drop sets up the running butt splash, but Stardust hits the Crossroads for two. He ties Jey in the ropes and we get the GLOVE SLAP, but Jey rolls him up for two. Then it gets crazy with Goldust and Jey both hitting dives to the floor. Back in, Jey with a flying splash that hits knees, and we have new tag team champions at 12:55. Good for them, they deserve another run with them. After all the stuff about Jey’s bad knee before the match, it factored exactly zero into the match. It didn’t really get past second gear until just before the finish, but it was solid tag action. *** Meanwhile, Dolph Ziggler and his stunt double drink some Mountain Dew. Did you know they’re sponsoring the show? News to me. US title: Sheamus v. Cesaro But first, the announcers would like you to know that you’re an idiot for paying $55 for this, basically coming out and saying as much. That’s an interesting marketing strategy: “Say, you know how you paid all that money for this show? Well, you should have paid $10 instead. Jerk.” They have a nice little battle on the mat to start and then the fisticuffs begin. Sheamus with a knee to the gut and Regal Roll for two, and Sheamus drops knees but gets necksnapped. Cesaro with a double axehandle off the top and they tumble to the floor and throw down out there. Back in with a Sheamus shoulderblock for two and he goes up, but Cesaro forearms him to the floor. Back in, kneedrop gets two and Cesaro tries a sleeper, but Sheamus slugs out of it, so Cesaro puts him down with a backdrop suplex. Sheamus fires back with forearms, but Cesaro clotheslines him for two. Cesaro with a pair of forearms in the corner, but Sheamus hits him with a pair of backbreakers for two. Sheamus with the forearms on the apron, but Cesaro catches the arm and then boots him in the head to break. They fight on the top and Sheamus flips him down for two. Brogue Kick misses and Cesaro hits the Swiss Death forearm for two. Sheamus fights out of a suplex and hits a tilt a whirl slam for two. Sheamus hulks up, but misses another Brogue and Cesaro hits a butterfly powerbomb for two. Neutralizer is reversed by Sheamus, but Cesaro ducks the Brogue and hits an Angle Slam for two. Cesaro slaps him around and the fistfight is on, but Sheamus demands to be punched in the face even harder. Cesaro obliges, but walks into a Brogue Kick at 13:03. See, that’s all we want out of these two, 15 minutes of hitting each other as hard as they can. And what a great finish, as they just kept hitting each other harder and harder until one man went down. ***1/2 Although I didn’t really like that they had Cesaro play concussed while Lawler was like “Ha ha, he doesn’t know where he is!” I think we’re at the point where they shouldn’t joke about that sort of stuff. Meanwhile, Big Show motivates Mark Henry and promises to have his back, so you can probably guess what’s happening there. Intercontinental title: Dolph Ziggler v. The Miz Florida Georgia Line join us on commentary for some reason, and they reveal that they’re going to do “the honor the troops thing there in December.” That’s my favorite event of the year! I loved last year’s Honor The Troops Thing There In December! Almost as much as Summerfest. And then Michael Cole plugs Slam City, describing the premise in robotic fashion. The show is funny because we say so. We’re off to a great start in this match. Dolph gets a Thesz Press for two as the announcers continue interviewing the band and basically ignore the match. Miz puts him down with a big boot for two and goes to the chinlock while the inane banter on commentary just kills the match dead. Dolph slugs back and hits a clothesline out of the corner, and a neckbreaker sets up the fameasser. Miz blocks it, but Dolph gets a sunset flip for two. They end up on the floor and Sandow trips up Dolph, which prompts a brawl with R-Truth. Sandow goes after the band and gets beat up, which is the stupidest thing of the show so far, and Ziggler boots Miz for two. So the stunt doubles run away and Miz gets the figure-four, but Dolph makes the ropes. Fameasser gets two. Sandow returns for the distraction, however, and Miz rolls him up for the pin and the title at 9:25. Yay, a distraction finish on PPV. *1/2 This program is ridiculously pointless and the commentary was obnoxious as hell. Meanwhile, Roman Reigns suffers a hernia and is not here tonight. Seth Rollins is out to accept Roman Reigns’ forfeit loss, following the customary 10 count. The crowd is already ahead of the curve and chants for Ambrose, even before Rollins issues an open challenge to anyone in the locker room. Seth Rollins v. Dean Ambrose Not really a match per se as Ambrose charges out and they get into a huge brawl before HHH gets security to pull them apart. Dean escapes and continues pummeling Rollins down to the ring again, but security jumps him again and this time they tie him up and haul him off. So for the second time on PPV, we get screwed out of a match between these two. Although you’ll note that the Authority is actively screwing with Ambrose and holding him down, and he’s getting over bigger than Reigns now because the fans actually have something to connect with him. Mark Henry v. Rusev Henry chases him out of the ring a few times, but Rusev runs him into the stairs to take over. Back in the ring, Rusev with corner splashes and he goes to work on the ribs and grabs a hold on the mat. That goes on for a while and Rusev tries the camel clutch, but Henry fights out FOR AMERICA and hits the World’s Strongest Slam. Rusev bails to escape and they make faces at each other, but Rusev boots him down and finishes with the Accolade at 8:20. This show is rapidly going downhill. This was no miraculously good Jack Swagger match. ½* They really need to put a title on Rusev to give his run some actual stakes. Michael Cole notes that Hell in a Cell is coming up next month, and they can promise that at least one of the matches will be a Hell in a Cell match. Whew, that’s a relief. Chris Jericho v. Randy Orton They slug it out in the corner to start and Jericho clotheslines him to the floor and follows with a baseball slide. More lameness from the announcers as they try to quote Jericho’s insult of Orton where he accuses Orton of being on “Total Jackass”, but apparently “ass” is too hardcore for them and awkwardly pull back and go “double crooked letters” instead. Like, REALLY? It’s 2014, I think it’s OK to say ass now. They fight on the top and Orton brings him down with a superplex for two. Orton tosses him and beats on him outside to take over. Orton suplexes him onto the announce table and back in for two off that. This nearly costs them their DIET MOUNTAIN DEW, but luckily they save it. All the performers are disposable and interchangeable, but if the Diet Dew gravy train ever sails, the company is dead. Jericho fights back with chops and this crowd just does not give a shit, but Orton gets a powerslam for two. Jericho to the top with a double axehandle, but the Lionsault misses and Orton gets the backbreaker. Jericho blocks the RKO and hits the Lionsault for two, but Orton escapes the Walls. Jericho hits the post and Orton sets up the punt, but Jericho rolls him up for two and gets the Walls. Orton can’t make the ropes, so he powers out instead and dumps Jericho to set up the draping DDT. RKO is countered with the Codebreaker for two. Jericho goes up and shows some fire again, but lands in the same old RKO at 16:18. The camera angle made it obvious that Jericho wasn’t going to hit anything from the direction he was going. Usual Orton match with the usual Orton finish, but Jericho managed to pull the crowd into it at the end. *** Divas title: Paige v. AJ Lee v. Nikki Bella Brie Bella gives one of the worst promos I’ve ever heard before the match, delivering the line “Karma and my sister are both a bitch” like it was some kind of Shakespearean bon mot where the fans were hanging on her words. Nikki catches AJ in a sleeper while the crowd chants for CM Punk, but really that’s insulting to think Punk would waste his return on this show. Get a clue, Nashville. Paige saves AJ, but Nikki puts her into an armbar that would break her arm if real but is largely ignored here. Nikki gets tossed and AJ goes after Paige with a high kick for two, but goes up and gets shoved off by Nikki for two. And now Paige mysteriously disappears for a bit. More nonsense with Paige and AJ as Paige wants a creepy hug, but then beats her down while yelling about AJ not loving her for two. I guess now Paige is supposed to be a lesbian stalker or something? Nikki dumps Paige and lays out AJ for two. A vicious..uh..bodyslam gets two. Another one is reversed into the Black Widow, but Paige breaks it up and gets two on both. AJ goes up and we get a Tower of Doom spot, complete with the camera catching AJ and Paige conversing about the timing. Nikki gets a Torture rack on Paige for two, but AJ saves and tosses her, then hooks the Black Widow on Paige for the title at 8:47. This was needlessly long, to say the least. So I guess this feud must continue for another three months. ½* Nikki was beyond useless here, but at least she didn’t get the title, I guess. I would ask what the point of putting the title back on Paige for a month was, but really who cares? WWE World title: Brock Lesnar v. John Cena Brock immediately attacks, but Cena hits the FU for one. Brock catches him with a kimura, but Cena gets to the ropes. Brock starts with the suplexes again and goes to work on Cena’s arm and back to the kimura, but Cena makes the ropes again. Another suplex gets two. Brock uses rolling suplexes for one and pounds Cena down for two, but Cena fights back and gets dropped with a clothesline. Brock goes back to the arm and throws another suplex for two. Cena again fails to give up, but Lesnar beats him down in the corner. Cena fights back again, so Brock suplexes him again. More punishment in the corner and the gloves are literally off, but Cena catches him with an FU for two. STF, but Brock counters into the kimura and Cena powers out of that. Another FU and STF, but Brock makes the ropes and Seth Rollins runs in for the DQ at 14:19. He manages to curb stomp Brock and cashes in, but Cena chases him off and apparently it doesn’t count. Match wasn’t as special as last month’s, lacking the drama and feeling more like “How are they going to get themselves out of delivering a finish here?” but it was still pretty good. ***1/4 But really, a DQ finish in a PPV main event and we don’t even get the cash in? Come on. The Pulse Weak spots aside, it was a solid show for the $9.99, although I can’t imagine PPV providers will be thrilled with WWE mocking the fans who bought the show. Cesaro v. Sheamus was clearly the standout here and the first two matches plus the main event were enough for an easy thumbs up these days. Had they delivered Rollins v. Ambrose in the classic brawl we’re all waiting for, it would have been a home run show, though.
Here is the card:
Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena for the WWE Title
Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton
Sheamus vs. Cesaro for the U.S. Title
Dolph Ziggler vs. Miz for the Intercontinental Title
Usos vs. Goldust & Stardust for the Tag Team Titles
Paige vs. Nikki Bella vs. AJ Lee for the Diva’s Title
Mark Henry vs. Rusev
????? vs. Seth Rollins (The Big Show was Rollins’ surprise opponent at last night’s house show so it might end up being him)
Also, click inside and hit refresh for up to the minute match results and analysis that will be on top of the page.
Goldust & Stardust vs. The Usos for the WWE Tag Team Championships
Goldust & Stardust won the titles after Cody rolled up Jey and held the tights after getting his knees up on a splash attempt. This match felt more like a house show match than a PPV match to be honest. They got a lot of time and most of it was back and forth with the exception being a heat sequence on Jimmy. The announcers obnoxiously tried to get over the terms “cosmic twins” and cosmic key” throughout the match. The crowd actually cheered Stardust when he tagged and its clear the heel turn of the Rhodes Brothers is not working. I don’t think the fans want to boo them (12:47) **1/4
Cesaro vs. Sheamus for the WWE U.S. Championship
Sheamus retains with a Brogue Kick. Match started off with a dead crowd until about halfway through when Cesaro destroyed Sheamus with an European Uppercut. After that, these two beat the tar out of each other and working some incredibly crisp and fast-paced sequences until the finish. Cesaro, in defeat, still looked great in this match with his moveset. He is so underutilized right now that it isnt even funny. (13:06) ***1/2.
Backstage, the Big Show gives Mark Henry a patriotic pep talk.
Country Band Florida Georgia line join the announcers booth.
Miz w/ Damien Sandow vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ R Truth for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
The focus of this was on the commentary with the announcers talking with Florida Georgia Line, who eventually beat up Sandow, and hyping up their appearance on this year’s “Tribute to the Troops.” It was actually hard to focus on the match with the excruciatingly bad commentary but the match itself was subpar and worse than usual between these two. The finish came when Ziggler super kicked Sandow off of the apron but Miz used a reverse rollup and grabbed a handful of tights to get the win and the belt. This is the second title tonight that has changed hands with a heel grabbing tights on a rollup (9:25) *1/2.
We are shown footage about Roman Reigns’ surgery including quotes from Reigns himself along with his doctor.
Seth Rollins is in the ring. He runs down Reigns and calls him out for not being a real man. He orders the ref to count to ten then raise his hand in victory. Rollins then issues an open challenge when a cab is shown pulling up to the arena backstage and the crowd pops when it turns out to be Dean Ambrose. We do not get a match but rather Ambrose beating the piss out of Rollins around the arena. The Authority and a mix of agents and security run out and eventually stop Ambrose when HHH tosses them a zip tie as they carry Ambrose to the back. Seems like they are going with Ambrose/Rollins and Hell in a Cell and that is a good choice and would mean more than a match without build on this show.
Mark Henry vs. Rusev w/ Lana
Lillian Garcia sang the National Anthem before the match and did a mighty fine job plus it pumped up the crowd…….until about 30 seconds into the match. Slow and lumbering match, which was expected to be honest. Rusev got the win with the Accolade after he failed to put away Rusev after hitting the World’s Strongest Slam. JBL kept pushing on commentary that Henry let down America and they might go with that angle for him because this feud seems over. At least it should be over after the heel wins cleanly (8:23) *1/2.
Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho
Orton got the win with an RKO in midair. The finished was way too telegraphed. Jericho wrestled his best match in this run. They got the crowd into it as the match had no build but these two are capable vets so it should not be too surprising. No idea where they go with Orton after this. (14:50) ***1/4
AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella vs. Paige for the WWE Diva’s Championship
AJ won the belt after making Paige tap to the Black Widow. The match itself was fine but there was little heat. I give credit to Nikki as she did a better than expected job as a heel in the match. Plus, she took a crazy back bump to the floor. Sadly, the AJ/Paige feud looks to continuing (8:22) **.
John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman for the WWE Championship
Lesnar retained the belt with a DQ finish. Rollins ran in and hit Cena with his MiTB briefcase after Cena hit Lesnar with a 4th AA. A lot more even than their SummerSlam match. Not a fan of the finish as this show has been hyped as a one-match show with this rematch heavily hyped and promoted. And as a main event, especially someone like Brock who works a limited schedule, a rematch isnt always in the works. I think they go with Cena vs. Rollins at the next PPV based off of Cena’s facial expressions at the end as he acted like this was his last chance against Brock. But they actually have a few ways to go at Hell in a Cell so that could be good. In hindsight, this finish could look a lot better if they book strongly going forward (14:50) ***
Here we go! Your card:
* WWE Championship: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena
* Intercontinental Championship: Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz
* United States Championship: Sheamus vs. Cesaro
* Tag Team Championships: The Usos vs. The Brotherhood
* Divas Championship: Paige vs. AJ vs. Nikki
Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns
Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton
Mark Henry vs. Rusev
Okay, folks — swing away all you want, but keep it clean as always!
This has nothing to do with the WWE
Before the show, Bayless is with the Administration and the Job Mob. He said that he relied on a friend to get them out of jail after Vinson and pulled some strings of his own so they could all be here tonight. Bayless then tells them to remember the plan and that everything will come together as long as that happens.
Six Man Tag Team Match
BoD Tag Team Championship Gauntlet Match
Midcard Mafia vs. Trunk Barlow & Slip Karstens
Tag Team Champions, the Upper Midcard Express, are watching from ringside. The MCM start off against the ex-Spam Bots. Barlow charges at Piers but misses and Piers catches him with a backbreaker. Piers tags Ferrari and they hit a double gutbuster. Karstens runs in and eats a double super kick. Ferrari takes Barlow on his shoulders and Piers climbs up top and hits a DDT as that gets the pin. One down, nine to go.
Midcard Mafia vs. Rockstar Gary & #1 Fan
Gary and Ferrari go at it briefly to start. #1 Fan grabs Ferrari from the apron as Gary hammers away. #1 fan tags and he hits an elbow drop. #1 fan misses a second attempt and Ferrari tags out. Piers springboards in with a clothesline then takes Gary off of the apron with a dropkick. Piers tags Ferrari and he hits #1 fan with a tombstone piledriver as Piers prevents Gary from breaking up the pin as the MCM score another pinfall.
Midcard Mafia vs. Bill Ray & Average Joe Everyman
Joe & Ray attack the MCM from behind. They put the boots to the MCM outside of the ring. Back inside, Ray gets two with a sitout powerbomb on Piers. Ray tags Joe and they use a few double-team moves as the MCM are showing a bit of fatigue here. Joe chokes out Piers as the UMX are throwing popcorn into their mouths while holding on to their helmets. Piers fights back but Ray kicks him down from the apron and the ref is dealing with Ferrari as his partner is getting double-teamed. Piers rolls away from a splash and makes the tag to Ferrari, who runs wild. He backdrops a charging Ray to the floor then picks up Joe and hits a tombstone before tagging Piers, who flies off the top with a frog splash for the pin.
Midcard Mafia vs. WWF1987 & Bobby
Bobby and WWF1987 are taking it to the MCM who are definitely slowing down. Bobby is the true shooter of the BoD and stretches out Ferrari with the Rings of Saturn. Bobby tags WWF1987 who hammers away on Ferrari in the corner. Bobby rings his signature cowbell that he modeled after Jimmy Jack Funk on the apron as Piers rallies his partner from the apron as the UMX look on in approval. Ferrari is taking a beating as Bobby has him in a butterfly lock. WWF1987 tags and goes up top and hits a double axe handle and covers but only gets two. WWF1987 sends Ferrari into the corner but misses a charge as both men are down. Ferrari crawls over to make a tag but Bobby runs over and knocks Piers off of the apron. WWF1987 gets up but Ferrari catches him in a small package and that gets two. WWF1987 gets up but Ferrari takes him down and makes the tag! Piers runs wild on this newly formed team. Bobby grabs the cowbell and swing it at Piers but he ducks and it whacks WWF1987. Piers knocks down Bobby then Piers picks up WWF1987 and hits the Falcon Arrow for the pin. The UMX are starting to look a bit worried here.
Midcard Mafia vs. Paul Meekin & White Thunder
Meekin grabs the mic and starts to rap:
I am the big bruiser
Left the BoD
Because I am sick of you losers
Ebert would never write you
Ya illiterate pricks
Maybe you can understand this
Y’all can suck my…………
And Piers dropkicks Meekin into Thunder as he spills out. The MCM take Meekin and hit him with a double clothesline then Piers hits him with a frog splash for the pin.
Midcard Mafia vs. Dancin’ Devin Harris & Lil’ James
Harris grabs the mic:
“Me an my partner were thinking and since the GM and UMX are not giving the MCM a fair shot, we won’t play fair either. C’mon James, lets get FUN-KAY!!!!!!!!!!!
The bell rings and James & Harris start dancing outside of the ring. They are intentionally getting counted out as the UMX are livid. The bell sounds as the MCM move one step closer to the belts. SOMEBODY CALL MAMA HARRIS AND LET HER KNOW HER SON DID A GOOD DEED PRIOR TO GITTIN’ FUN-KAY!!!!!!!!
Midcard Mafia vs. THE RIPSHIT KILLERS
Uh oh, THE RIPSHIT KILLERS ARE OUT AND UNLEASHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE YETAAAAY and ARRRRGH THE BARBARIAN are looking as crazy as ever. They go after the MCM but they duck the attack and come back with dropkicks. ARRRRGH charges but the MCM catch him with a double hiptoss but they then eat a double clothesline from THE YETAAAAY. The MCM are down and hurt as ARRRRGH gets revenge with a flying shoulder tackle on Piers. THE YETAAAAY runs in and goes for a big boot but accidentally hits his partner and Piers uses a reverse rollup for the win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just two teams left for the MCM!!!!
Midcard Mafia vs. Curtzerker
Oh man, what a tough, tough draw. The HUSS section is in full force tonight. Williams and Piers start off the match. Williams pushes Piers in the corner as theberzerker screams HUSS!!! HUSS!!!! HUSS!!! as the HUSS section chants along with him. Williams takes down Piers then tags theberzerker, who screams “HUSS” into the face of Piers. Fatigue is starting to set in with the MCM as theberzerker has Piers in a chinlock. Curtzerker is using quick tags to isolate Piers as Ferrari tries to rally his partner. theberzerker chops Piers hard in the corner as he HUSSES in his face. Williams tags and puts on a high angle single leg crab that bends Piers in half. Piers is in trouble as Williams nails him with a crucifix bomb for two. theberzerker tags and goes up top. Oh my! He leaps but Piers dropkicks him in midair as both men are down. Ferrari is stomping on the apron as the crowd is getting behind Piers, who somersaults over and makes the tag! Ferrari clotheslines theberzerker then hits him with a slam. He starts swinging and hammering away on Curtzerker as he is a one-man wrecking crew. Piers starts to get up but from behind, kbjone whacks him on the knee with his helmet then kicks him down! Ferrari then picks up Williams for the tombstone and hits it for the win! However, he looks over and sees his partner clutching his knee. They now have a shot at the belts.
Midcard Mafia vs. Upper Midcard Express
The UMX run in and attack Ferrari from behind. Petuka then chop blocks Piers, who flies off of the apron. Back in the ring, kbjone is beating on Ferrari. Tag to Petuka and the UMX are hammering on Ferrari in the corner. Piers tries to climb back on the apron but kbjone runs over and takes him off with a baseball slide. The UMX’s strategy is too beat on Ferrari and constantly attack the injured knee of Piers. The UMX hit a double slingshot suplex and cover but that only gets two. kbjone yells at the ref to count faster as Petuka chokes out Ferrari on the apron. The UMX stay on the attack as Piers is barely able to stand. kbjone is up top and comes off with a knee drop but Ferrari gets his foot on the ropes during the pin attempt. Ferrari is struggling mightily here as the UMX are fresh and dominant because of the way this match was arraigned by our no good GM. Petuka tags and oh my god he is setting up for the Petuka Bazooka. THE PETUKA BAZOOKA. Petuka picks him up but Ferrari slips out. He ducks a clothesline and comes back with a super kick as both men are down. Ferrari can try to tag but his partner might have less of a chance than he does. kbjone runs in and pulls Ferrari back as the ref orders him on the apron. Petuka gets up and drops an elbow but Ferrari rolls away. He tries to make the tag as Piers is on the apron clutching onto his knee. Petuka tags then shoves Ferrari into Piers, who this time twists around and makes the tag. Petuka laughs as Piers clutches his knee. He moves closer and tries to kick his leg but Piers dodges the attack and chops Petuka. Piers slingshots in and hits a clothesline. Piers is in agony as kbjone runs in but Piers rolls away from him. kbjone charges but Piers pulls down the ropes and he flies outside. Petuka gets up and Piers hits a back suplex and he is climbing up top. kbjone runs over to push Piers off but Ferrari spears him through the ropes and they both fall to the floor. Piers is up top and he flies and hits the frog splash!!!!!! COVER HIM. COVER HIM. Piers is crawling over to Petuka and goes to make the cover one……….two………………..thr…………..no!!!!!!! That’s GM Bayless and he just yanked out the referee. OH COME ON. The referee now signals for the bell as the MCM win by disqualification. The MCM were robbed by this evil GM.
Andy PG vs. Tommy Hall
Tommy is sporting a badass Tim Couch University of Kentucky throwback tonight. The winner here will receive the loser’s paycheck tomorrow night on RAW. The rumor is that Tommy made the stipulations as he is in debt for all of the throwback jerseys he bought. Tommy also blames Andy for why he is not the BoD Writer’s Champion. Tommy goes after Andy but he ducked. Andy slides underneath the legs of Tommy then gets two with a reverse rollup. Tommy swing and misses then Andy takes him down with an enziguiri. Andy works the arm then Tommy reverses as they trade arm wringers. Tommy knees Andy then hammers away. Tommy hits Andy with a facebuster then works a chinlock. Tommy screams “that’s my paycheck” then breaks to do the make it rain taunt. Tommy pumps up his sneakers then climbs up top and delivers an elbow smash but that does not put Andy away. Tommy grapevines the leg and stretches out Andy as he yells about how he will get Andy’s paycheck. Tommy tries to make Andy tap but he will not submit. Andy manages to escape but Tommy runs over and drops a knee before taking control. Tommy gets frustrated as he takes Andy up top and climbs up for a superplex but Andy blocks the attempt. Andy punches away and grabs a front facelock. He then flips over Tommy and balances himself on top then takes Tommy down with a super reverse neckbreaker as both men are down! Holy shit, indeed. Andy struggles to get up but does and picks up Tommy. He hits several knee smashes then whips Tommy into the corner. Andy charges and gets backdropped but lands on the apron. Andy catches Tommy with a forearm smash then goes for a slingshot attack but it sends Tommy into the referee, who flies outside. Andy has Tommy for a DDT but that get reversed and Tommy uses a thumb to the eye to slow down Andy. Tommy takes Andy down with a shoulderblock and now reaches into his pants for his sock filled with his e-book coins. Um, that sock seems a bit light to me. Tommy takes out the sock and hits Andy but it has no effect because Tommy is very short on legitimate currency. He tosses the sock out of anger and all that falls out are two nickles and a token from Chuck E Cheese. Tommy goes over to make sure the referee is down and goes out to grab a chair. He looks to hit Andy but he ducks then they fight over the chair as it goes flying when they crash to the ground. These guys are brawling then take it back inside. Tommy catches Andy low just before the referee gets up. The ref is in the ring as Tommy sets Andy up for the Vader Bomb but Andy gets up and cuts him off. Tommy kicks him down then gets off the top rope. He attempts a clothesline but Andy ducks that then grabs his arm and puts him in a La Magistral Cradle and gets the win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tommy is shocked as he will be losing his paycheck tomorrow night. Andy celebrates the victory as Hall is yelling obscenities at him.
GM Bayless vs. Jef Vinson
And now, part three of Hoss and the Ice Cream Truck:
(Hoss is driving with the hillbilly Pump N’ Pantry Clerk. He pulls over at the Ben & Jerry’s distribution center. Hoss drives the truck through the gates and pulls up sideways underneath a window)
Hoss: CLIMB THROUGH THE WINDOW AND GET ME ICE CREAM. YOU BETTER FILL THIS TRUCK.
Hillbilly: But I cant carry all of that back through the window.
Hoss: YOU STUPID FUCK, ONCE YOU BREAK IN YOU GO THROUGH THE DOOR. AND IF YOU GET ME HEALTH FOOD, I WILL KNOCK OUT THE TWO TEETH YOU HAVE LEFT. (Hoss then shoves the Hillbilly down as he climbs on top of the truck and breaks the window and climbs in but the alarm goes off. The Hillbilly comes back through the door a few minutes later with ice cream)
Hoss: (Looks at Strawberrry Cheesecake flavor) I SAID NO HEALTH FOOD (Throws it at the Hillbilly’s head then chokeslams him down as he hears sirens. Hoss hops in his truck and takes off as the two-toothed Hillbilly is unconscious. Hoss made sure to toss all of the non “health food” ice cream in his truck)
Cultstatus vs. Jobber
And here we are in a matchup of the inaugural BoD Mania main event. Cultstatus took the belt from Jobber last time and will he do the same again? Cult signals that he will be the champion as Jobber and the rest of the Job Mob laugh. They lockup and fight against the ropes until they finally break. Jobber ducks out and consults with the Job Mob as the crowd taunts him. Big Dirty Murph sparks up a joint as he yells back at the fans. Jobber heads back in as he locks up with Cult. Jobber catches Cult with a back elbow smash. Jobber charges but Cult picks him up and presses him over his head and tosses him outside at his stable!!!!!!!! Cult then challenges all of them to come inside of the ring. Jobber holds the back of his neck as he once again regroups before going back inside. Cult slingshots Jobber back in then drops an elbow that gets two. Cult gets up and tries a suplex but Jobber blocks it then backs Cult into the corner. These two trade chops then Zanatude grabs the leg of Cult and that allows Jobber to stun him with an European Uppercut. Jobber stays on the attack as he wears out the ex-champ with an abdominal stretch that he turns into a gutbuster. Jobber tosses Cult outside then yells at the ref as the Job Mob beat on Cult. They roll Cult back inside as Jobber covers but only gets two. Jobber picks up Cult and hits a backbreaker then repeats the move and covers but Cult still manages to kick out. Jobber heads up top and hits a missile dropkick and covers but that only gets two. Jobber beats on Cult in the corner then charges but eats boot. Cult shakes off the cobwebs and heads over to Jobber and fires away. He whips Jobber against the ropes and drops him with a big boot. Cult picks up Jobber and hits a piledriver! He covers but that only gets two. Cult picks up Jobber but Big Dirty Murph jumps up on the apron. Cult runs him off then Zanatude and Chartock step on opposing sides of the ring and that allows Jobber to get back up and drop Cult. Jobber picks up Cult but out come the Midcard Mafia as they run out and attack the Job Mob!!!!!!!!!! Piers is still limping but that will not prevent him from getting revenge on the Job Mob. The ref is paying attention to the brawl outside as Jobber has Cult up for the Razor’s Edge but Cult slips out. Jobber ducks a clothesline then they both collide and are down. The brawl outside is spilling into the stands as the ref yells at them to stop. But, out holding a chair comes a bandaged and still bloodied Parallax.That is the same chair Cult used on Jobber as the camera zooms in on the blood splatter than remains on that chair. He barely seems to know what he is doing and looks to be headed towards Cult, who is beating on Jobber. Parallax ducks behind the apron as Jobber reverses an Irish whip then Parallax holds the chair sideways and cracks Cult in the back of the leg. Cult is hunched over then Parallax gets up and whacks Cult in the head and Jobber sets him up and hits the Razor’s Edge for the win!!!!!!! Jobber retains his title. Jobber celebrates as Parallax staggers up the ramp. The Job Mob celebrate with Jobber as the shows ends. TUNE IN TOMORROW NIGHT TO BoD RAW AT 10:35 PM EST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Question of the day: In the history of Professional Wrestling – all promotions included (WCW, NWA, Mid-South, ECW, World Class, TNA, SMW, etc.) who do you consider the greatest all-time TV Champions? (If you are up to it, give me a top 4)
TheOriginalDonald had an interesting choice…..
As any Dallas Cowboys fan will tell you: sure road to mediocrity and failure. I can tell you this: Jerry Jones as RAW GM = the best scenario possible…..for TNA/Impact
“Hulk Hogan in a suit and a doo-rag”
fg76….call me crazy, but I think this one has a realistic shot at happening
**** no….didnt we do that with the computer?
Some of the more insightful responses…….
“If they have to have one, they should just do the Foley bit again, but
use someone like Edge or Punk in the role. They have to do their
entertainment bits…might as well be a GM making matches with jokes
IF THEY MUST have one, Foley or The Cat would be good in the role
“Jack Tunney. He’s not able to appear on WWE programming anymore, so
therefore he would never come out and cut a 10-20 minute promo, create
stupid stipulations midmatch, or do other things to generally piss off
“If they must find a reason to justify supporting Ric Flair, I wouldn’t
mind him as a GM if he played it seriously instead of dancing around
like a fool. But in the Jack Tunney role where he shows up to make
decisions/announcements and doesn’t have an agenda against anyone.”
If the WWE were really listening to their fans, sounds like they are over the whole heel authority commish role being a big factor (Can you imagine an NFL weekend where Roger Goodell was on the TV talking for more time than actual games were being played?)
I think Magoonie NOT Teddy Belmont summed it up nicely….
“I’m thinking nobody, no GM. Move HHH and Steph away from the authority
figure storyline. Then no authority figures. Maybe if there’s a big
decision to be made, trot Vince out to make the decision then leave
(kinda like Bret/Luger and Gorilla). Just go back to I hate you, you
hate me lets fight.”
The great referees/officials in any Combat sport work best….when they are not even noticed.
Live from Baton Rouge, LA
receiving word through his earpiece
Heenan! Holy legendary hirings, Batman! Heenan was last seen getting thrown out
of an arena on WWF Monday Night RAW on 12/6/93. What a great grab by WCW!
Anyways, Okerlund compares Heenan to Tonya Harding with a “thin ice” joke. Heenan
joins Tony Schiavone at ringside to call the action.
Wonderful (w/ the Assassin) versus Marcus Alexander Bagwell and Too Cold
Scorpio (w/ Teddy Long)
Tony mentioned that this is a #1 contender’s
match as the victors will face the Nasty Boys on the next episode of WCW Saturday
Stun gun by Roma on Bagwell. I wonder how “Stunning”
Steve Austin felt about that.
During the commercial break Roma received a
double shoulder block.
Scorpio attempted a superplex on Roma, but
A pair of top-rope forearms to the back by Roma.
Tony mentioned that Heenan used to manage Orndorff.
The new commissioner of WCW will be named later in the show.
Second-rope elbow drop by Roma.
Orndorff leaped from the top rope only to eat
Hot tag to Bagwell.
Missile dropkick by Bagwell.
After the Assassin loaded Orndorff’s knee pad Roma
attempted to ram Bagwell’s head into it only to get rammed instead.
Bagwell made the cover and pinned Roma.
bad opener. Bagwell and Scorpio will face the Nasty Boys for the tag titles on Saturday.
versus Ron Simmons
This match was billed as the teacher (Simmons)
versus the student (Ice Train). Check out Simmons’ match (taped 12/13/93, aired
against Scotty Riggs and the post-match interview.
Excellent powerslam by Ice Train.
After a second powerslam by Ice Train he missed
a shoulder block in the corner.
Simmons rolled him up, hooked the tights, and
stole the victory.
was a nice display of power wrestling by Ice Train his inexperience exposed him
dressed like Colonel Robert Parker while Parker wears a Hollywood Blonds
t-shirt and trunks. Additionally, in an effort to mock the no longer employed by
WCW Sid, the back of Parker’s t-shirt reads “Col. Parker rules the world.” Austin
uses a thick Southern accent to reveal that he has a manager’s license for
WCW has now added a touch of class to its leadership.
World TV title: Lord Steven Regal (champion w/ Sir William) versus “The
Natural” Dustin Rhodes
Speaking of class, Gordon Solie was the
play-by-play announcer for this match. It reminds me of my days of watching
Championship Wrestling from Florida back in the ‘80s.
Superb European uppercut by Regal.
Gut-wrench suplex by Regal.
Lariat by Rhodes.
As Regal stalls outside the ring three minutes
remain in the time limit according to ring announcer Gary Michael Cappetta.
Some brawling by Rhodes woke up the crowd.
Flying lariat by Rhodes.
Flying dropkick by Rhodes got a 2 count.
Plancha from the ramp into the ring by Rhodes
got another 2 count.
As Rhodes hit the bulldog time ran out on him.
Time-limit draw. Regal remained the champion.
mat wrestling here, so your mileage may vary. Regal’s stalling made the draw
all the more obvious. Dustin Rhodes continues to underwhelm me since his feud
with Rick Rude ended.
exciting as watching paint dry.
Nasty Boys (w/ Missy Hyatt) versus Cactus jack and Maxx Payne
Making sure she doesn’t have another wardrobe
malfunction Missy wore a halter top and jeans.
Cappetta introduced Cactus Jack and Maxx Payne,
but they didn’t come through the curtain.
After the commercial break Jack and Payne ran
through the crowd and ambushed the Nasty Boys from behind.
The bell rung and Cactus Jack gave Knobbs a
After slamming Saggs on the concrete floor
Cactus Jack delivered a Cactus elbow to him.
Awkward cross-body block from Sags to Payne from
the top rope.
Payne applied the Payne-killer to Knobbs, but
Outside the ring Saggs demolished Payne with a
plastic chair shot.
With all four men in the ring Cactus Jack gave
both Nasty Boys a Cactus clothesline.
Double-arm DDT on Knobbs by Cactus Jack.
Referee Randy Anderson was distracted by Payne
so Saggs delivered an elbow and placed Knobbs atop Jack.
However, Saggs was unable to leave the ring in a
timely fashion so Payne delivered his own elbow to Knobbs, draped Jack atop
him, and secured the pin!
tremendous upset by a unique team. This was a bar room brawl type of match
minus weapons. More matches between these teams should they up the ante could
be quite intriguing.
both Payne and Jack.
Next highlights of the match from WCW Saturday Night (taped 12/13/93,
aired 1/15/94) where
Pillman beat Austin in a non-title match are shown. Before Parker can place the
chicken head on Pillman with Austin’s assistance Dustin Rhodes rescues Pillman.
a chicken suit on WCW Saturday Night): “Flyin’” Brian Pillman versus Colonel
Pillman came to the ring with chicken from KFC. Schiavone
informed us that Parker’s picture was on the box.
Fantastic dropkick from Pillman.
Pillman nailed Austin on the floor.
After Parker and Austin tried to take a walk
Pillman came after them. Austin charged but received a back drop on the ramp.
The Boss emerged from backstage to even the
As the Boss attempted to corral Parker from exiting
over the steel railing Austin attacked Pillman in the ring.
Austin gave Pillman the Stun Gun. Take that,
Parker attempted a double axe-handle from the
second rope but ate a right hand to the mid-section instead.
After Pillman climbed to the top rope Austin
knocked him down since referee Nick Patrick was detained by the Boss.
The Boss chased Austin back through the curtain.
As Parker begged Austin to return Pillman rolled him up and pinned him.
Parker will wear the chicken suit on WCW Saturday
Night. How clucky for
wasn’t the blow-off match that the Hollywood Blonds deserved either.
scheduled: WCW World Champion Ric Flair will defend his title against former
champion Vader as well as a six-man match.
tag team match): WCW World Champion “Nature Boy” Ric Flair and Sting versus WCW
International World Champion “Ravishing” Rick Rude and Vader (w/ Harley Race)
Bockwinkel joined Tony and Bobby on commentary.
The former AWA World champion reunited with his former manager! I’m certain the
commentary will be much more classy and distinguished from this point forward.
Vader military-pressed Sting then dropped him
throat-first on the top rope.
Vader attempted a second-rope sunset flip but
Sting dropped on top of him instead of going down.
Sting gave Vader a release German suplex. Amazing!
After a commercial break Rude applied the bear
hug to Sting.
After Flair tagged in he hit a double axe-handle
from the top rope to Rude followed by an inverted atomic drop.
Vader tagged in and gave Flair an avalanche.
Superplex by Vader.
In an effort to injure the World Champion Vader gave
Flair a top-rope superplex causing Flair to scream in agony.
Vader mounted the top rope again, but Sting
pulled Flair out of harm’s way.
DDT by Rude to Sting.
Outside the ring Vader attempted to use a chair,
but Bockwinkel exercised his power by putting a stop to it.
As Cappetta announced that Flair and Vader have
been eliminated Vader yelled “SHIT!” right in front of the camera. So much for
Flair received assistance returning to the dressing
Top rope clothesline by Sting.
After perching on the top rope Rude landed a
forearm to the back.
Rude then bored the crowd with an extended
After copious amounts of time putting the crowd
(and me) to sleep Sting gave Rude the electric chair.
Sting hit knees attempting a splash off the
Sting blocked a Rude Awakening then gave one to
He then reversed a tombstone and hit one of his
After hitting an incredible top rope splash
Sting pinned Rude.
a certain something. The elimination rule appeared to be
botched/rushed/whatever in an effort to reduce the participant count to two. I
realize this match was set up as a prelude to the cage matches at SuperBrawl,
but it left something to be desired. Another factor in the match was the
absence of Rude’s workrate. It appears that he was just satisfied becoming a
World Champion because he didn’t put forth a ton of effort while being
champion. On the other hand, at least WCW sent the fans home happy.
only historically significant portion of the show. While Clash XXVI attempted
to promote SuperBrawl it only accomplished so much. Conversely the promotion of
the January 29th edition of WCW Saturday Night was tremendously
strong with the offerings of seeing Colonel Parker in a chicken suit,
Bagwell/Scorpio getting another title shot, and a bout between Johnny B. Badd
and Shanghai Pierce where Pierce lost his mask. Unless you’re a die-hard
WCW fan like me take a pass on this show and fast-forward to SuperBrawl IV. See
you soon with its review!
For more information on me please visit http://rockstargary.com.
Live from St. Petersburg, FL
Call the hotline to vote for the manager of year:
William (Lord Steven Regal)
Hyatt (Nasty Boys)
Long (Marcus Alexander Bagwell & Too Cold Scorpio)
“The Body” Ventura.
International World title: “Ravishing” Rick Rude (champion) versus Road Warrior
Early in the match Hawk no-sold a head shot to
the turnbuckle then gave Rude some of his own medicine. Deca, perhaps?
Vertical suplex from Hawk got a 2 count.
Backbreaker from Rude allowed him to head to the
top rope, but when he leaped he ate a pair of boots to the face.
Clothesline from Hawk sent Rude over the top
rope to the floor.
They kept fighting on the outside until referee
Randy Anderson counted them both out.
Rude retains his title. What was the point of that match? Since Hawk had no
credibility as a singles wrestler it was obvious he wasn’t going to take this
one, but the DCOR finish is just obnoxiously terrible. Let’s hope the next
match has a better outcome.
Equalizer versus the Shockmaster
Oh no! Can I watch the last match again instead
of this dreck?
Heel shenanigans from the Equalizer dominated
the early portion of the match.
Belly-to-back suplex from Equalizer got a 2
Shockmaster no-sold a clothesline.
Bearhug slam from Shockmaster secured the pin.
Thank God it was short.
of Dusty, or in the case family, get a slot on the big shows. In spite of
Jesse’s making fun of him on commentary the Shockmaster continues to win. Thus
far this show isn’t looking good.
he dropped Sid Vicious as a client and obtained the services of…”Stunning”
Steve Austin. Meanwhile he claims that he also has a restraining order against
Sid so he won’t be here tonight. Considering Sid may have still been recovering
from the stab wounds and under suspension from WCW he wouldn’t be able to make
even a token appearance. More later on this situation.
Television title: Lord Steven Regal (champion w/ Sir William) versus Johnny B.
Back on July 9 during the infamous Disney
tapings (broadcast 11/6/93) Regal defeated Badd by nefarious means. Therefore,
Tony referred to this match as a “return bout.”
Badd brought the workrate and matched Regal hold
for hold early in the match.
Jesse took Badd’s attire to task. Make-up and
garter belts, seriously Marc?
Badd missed a flying body press and clotheslined
himself on the top rope.
Ya gotta love those European uppercuts from
According to Tony “The British Bulldog” Davey
Boy Smith issued a challenge to “Ravishing” Rick Rude for the WCW International
Badd knocked Regal cold with a left hand
prompting Sir William to get on the apron to complain.
As Badd attempted the pin Sir William placed
Regal’s boot on the bottom rope.
As Badd was distracted Regal snapped out of it,
rolled Badd up, and got the pin with a handful of tights.
this match went at Badd’s pace rather than Regal’s I enjoyed this match much
more than I expected. I can only hope that this match is the only one with a
Brian Pillman versus “Stunning” Steve Austin (w/ Colonel Rob Parker)
Ahem. May I have your attention please? Let us
all please observe a moment of silence and mourn the loss of one of the best
tag teams ever in WCW—the Hollywood Blonds.
On the October 30 episode of WCW Saturday Night
Colonel Parker informed Pillman that Austin was his new client. After Parker
insulted Pillman for being injured Brian attacked Parker. Subsequently Austin
ambushed Pillman. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6yBuyOYbnM)
Pillman, already in the ring and wearing his
Blond jacket, attacked Austin as he entered the ring.
After Parker jumped on the apron Pillman chased
him around the ring. Austin, lying in wait, clotheslined Pillman as he made his
way toward the near side of the ring.
Upon the reversal of an Irish whip Pillman made
Austin taste the steel. Needs horseradish.
Flying headscissors from Pillman.
Austin attempted a piledriver on the ramp, but
Pillman countered with a back drop.
After climbing to the top rope Pillman leaped
but ate boot on the way down.
Austin then tossed Pillman into the steel
railing. More horseradish please!
Slingshot body press from Pillman from the apron
onto Austin got a 2 count.
Austin then pressed Pillman into a modified
Ventura badmouthed Sid on commentary.
Single leg crab by Austin with some assistance
from the ropes.
Flying back elbow to the head from the second
rope by Pillman.
Slowly Austin made his way to the top rope, but
Pillman caught him thus crotching Austin.
Superplex by Pillman countered by Austin into a
As Austin leaped from the top rope Pillman
Austin tried another piledriver, but Pillman
countered into a huracanrana.
Slingshot by Pillman countered into a powerslam
DDT by Pillman.
Crucifix by Pillman countered into a Samoan drop
Austin missed a splash from the top rope.
Oklahoma roll by Pillman got a 2 count.
Austin missed the stungun leaving Pillman on the
Pillman tried another slingshot maneuver, but
Parker caught his ankle.
Austin rolled him up for the pin.
could watch these guys wrestle each other all night. Had the match been longer (7:44)
it could have reached five stars. These two should have had a rematch at
corners Parker. Much to his chagrin Parker escaped without a scratch.
names of the top WCW competitors are thrown into a “hopper.” Thirty-two names
are selected at random for eight tag team matches. Afterwards each winning team
competes singularly in an over-the-top-rope battle royal to determine the
winner. To entice our desire to buy the PPV Paul Orndorff cuts a promo followed
by 1991 Battlebowl winner Sting.
title: “The Natural” Dustin Rhodes (champion w/ “The American Dream” Dusty
Rhodes) versus “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff (w/ the Assassin)
Dusty’s not even wrestling and he’s already
“funky like a monkey.”
The crowd chanted “Dusty!”
Each competitor initially worked on his
Belly-to-back suplex from Orndorff set up the
shaky elbow drop.
Backslide from Rhodes got a 2 count.
Cross-corner whip from Orndorff followed by a
Cross-corner whip from Rhodes set up the
bulldog, but Orndorff ducked.
Rhodes countered an Orndorff piledriver attempt.
Orndorff missed the knee drop from the top rope.
Rhodes then hooked the inside cradle for the
wrestlers. The “seconds” didn’t even get involved in the match.
Then the Assassin rams Dustin into the ring post. To retaliate, Dusty gives the
Assassin a bionic elbow much to the crowd’s delight. He then tosses the
Assassin into the ring, hits two more bionic elbows, and threatens to unmask
him. Unfortunately for Dusty, Orndorff nails him preventing said unmasking. As
Orndorff held Dusty the Assassin wallops Rhodes with the US title belt. Orndorff
attempts to piledrive Dusty, but Dustin comes off the ropes with a clothesline
scattering the ruthless duo to the floor. The post-match stuff was 10x better
than the match!
challenge for Rude’s title. Call the hotline! Starrcade is scheduled for
Monday, December 27.
tag team titles: The Nasty Boys (champions w/ Missy Hyatt) versus Sting and
“The British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith
Ring announcer Gary Michael Cappetta referred to
Missy Hyatt as the “nastiest lady in WCW.” Did he know this firsthand?
Just like Missy liked it the action was hot and
heavy at the outset with Sting dominating Knobbs in the ring and DBS
manhandling Sags on the ramp.
In the meantime Rick Rude crawled on the floor adjacent
to the ramp in order to sneak attack DBS. He then gave DBS a Rude Awakening . Immediately
Road Warrior Hawk chased him back to the dressing room.
Sting checked on DBS and carried him back to the
The bell rung and Sting took on the Nasty Boys
Tony mentioned Rude’s use of a “foreign” object.
Jesse questioned how Rude imported it. Funny stuff.
While Knobbs occupied Patrick’s attention Sags
tossed Sting over the top rope. Since Patrick didn’t see it a disqualification
could not be rendered.
As Knobbs held Sting in a bear hug DBS sprung to
life and egged him on in the corner.
Sting countered the bear hug into an overhead
He then countered a rear chinlock into an
Hot tag to DBS.
A pair of powerslams on the Nasty Boys followed
by a pair of dropkicks.
600lbs of clotheslines and DDTs from DBS.
DBS pressed Sting overhead then tossed him onto
both Nasty Boys.
Powerslam from DBS received no count due to
referee Nick Patrick’s directing traffic.
Sags mounted the top turnbuckle and clobbered DBS.
Knobbs made the cover and the Nasty Boys retained their titles.
opponents. Almost all of the excitement in the match happened after the hot
tag. Although a match between DBS and Rude was filmed on 11/30 for WCW Saturday
Night for the 12/18/93 airing the match would not be shown. In turn DBS was also
scheduled to face Rude at Starrcade but he was fired beforehand.
World title: Vader (champion w/ Harley Race) versus “Nature Boy” Ric Flair (w/
Back in the dressing room Colonel Parker spoke
with Flair. Parker stated that Austin will challenge the winner of this match.
He’s quite confident that Austin could defeat Flair. Flair’s rebuttal was a
right cross to the jaw.
Joined in progress after commercial Flair had
Race set up for the figure four leg lock in the center of the ring.
As Flair applied the hold to Race Vader splashed
Short-arm clothesline from Vader.
Gorilla press slam from Vader.
Vader bomb hit but no cover.
Flair chopped Vader down like a cherry tree.
Flair Flip to the floor.
Race made Flair taste the steel. Dammit! Where’s
Vader jumped from the apron towards Flair but
ate the steel railing.
Flair drops the forearm from the top turnbuckle
to the floor.
Second rope elbow drop from Vader missed.
Flair slapped on the figure four.
As Vader reached the ropes Race raked Flair’s
Vertical suplex and a splash earned Vader a 2
Vader mounted the second turnbuckle again but
got powerslammed for 2.
Flair sprinted to the top rope and nailed Vader
with another forearm.
Flair flip over the buckle landed him on his
feet. Thereafter he mounted the turnbuckle and hit another forearm shot.
Flair jumped from the top turnbuckle again but
got caught by Vader.
He then gave Flair a superplex.
Vader positioned Flair for the moonsault but missed
Referee Randy Anderson counted three! We have a
Cappetta announced that Anderson disqualified
Jesse explained that Anderson DQ’d him because
he ran into him. LAME!
match with a horrible ending. Flair got robbed! Thanks Dusty for that god-awful
finish. Hopefully a rematch will be signed. The good news is the crowd was
eager or better yet thirsty for a title change.
hit the ring to ambush Flair. Vader and Austin try to double-team Flair, but
Dustin Rhodes and the Shockmaster come to Flair’s rescue. As the crowd chants
“Whoomp, there it is” Okerlund enters the ring. Flair interrupts and challenges
Vader and Austin to a tag match with him and Sid on WCW Saturday Night (taped
10/11/93). This match marked the last Sid appearance in WCW until the Great
American Bash in 1999.
Blonds’ match and the main event make this show a must-see. WCW may have been
drawing flies at this point in wrestling history, but their product wasn’t the
reason behind it. If there was only one thing I would have changed I’d have
gotten rid of these finishes. See you at Battlebowl!
For more information on me please visit http://rockstargary.com.
The SmarK Rant for Clash of the Champions I Turns out I haven’t actually done this show since 98ish, and that’s just ridiculous. So everyone should know the deal with this by now, as Jim Crockett decided to run a free TV special to fuck with Wrestlemania IV, and it worked spectacularly well, tanking the buyrate and making a star out of Sting. My wrestling friends in school were PUMPED about this show back in the day and we were crushed to find out that it was on TBS and thus we couldn’t see it on TV here in Canada. Also, thank god this is the original TV version and not the home video one. Live from Greensboro, NC Your hosts are Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone & Bob Caudle World TV title: Mike Rotundo v. Jimmy Garvin This is under amateur rules, which is a weird way to kick off a big show. A one-count wins and there’s rounds. Rotundo goes for a single-leg and pulls the tights to do so, but Garvin takes him down with a slam and Rotundo bails. Interesting tension here in that any cover basically ends it. Garvin works on a facelock and they threaten to exchange fisticuffs, but Teddy Long breaks them up. Rotundo gets a clothesline and goes for the cover, but Garvin rolls to his stomach as the round expires. Second round and Rotundo attacks and goes up (like they do in amateur wrestling), which allows Garvin to slam him off. Garvin with the brainbuster, but he goes after Kevin Sullivan and Rotundo rolls him up for the pin at 6:45 to retain. And then Precious kicks some serious ass, laying out Rick Steiner with a 2×4 and choking Sullivan down with a coat hanger. Nothing much to this. *1/2 Steve Williams returns from Japan to offer his support for Dusty Rhodes and challenge Ric Flair. So, uh, Dr. Death with a live mic, bad idea. US tag team titles: The Midnight Express v. The Fantastics Oh man, “Chase” has been expunged from the Midnights’ entrance! That’s criminal. Big brawl to start and Fulton goes crazy with a chair, taking out Eaton on the floor and then chasing the Express into another brawl outside. This time the Express gets the best of it, as Lane lays Fulton out with a chair and even Cornette is throwing shit around. JR notes that they’re not here “to listen to rock n roll music and look good”. Clearly. In the ring, the Fantastics toss them around, but finally the Express gets their shit together and takes out Rogers with a Total Elimination. That’s more like it. Superkick from Lane and Cornette blatantly holds up a table, as Eaton sends Rogers into it behind the ref’s back. Now THAT’S some spectacular cheating. Eaton with a powerslam and flying elbow and they pound on Rogers in the corner. Demolition-style flying knee from Eaton as the crowd is going batshit. I love that they don’t just do the standard “punch and kick in the corner” stuff for the heel offense here, it’s crazy double-teams and non-stop action. Lane tosses Rogers after a hope spot and Eaton slams him on the table, and he’s still moving so Eaton bulldogs him on the table as well. Back in, more awesome double-teaming, but Rogers lunges over for the hot tag…which the ref doesn’t see. And then Cornette leaps in and starts hitting him with the tennis racket to boot. He hits the wrong guy, however, and the Fantastics hit Eaton with the Rocket Launcher for the pin and the titles at 10:20? Nope, as in fact the ref had been thrown over the top rope and thus it’s a Dusty Finish instead. Crappy finish, but it at least built to the Fantastics winning the belts for real soon after. This was just crazy action from start to finish. ****1/4 Meanwhile, Jim Cornette does a comedy routine with Eddie Haskell. Gary Hart introduces us to Vince Russo’s twin brother Al Perez, who wants Dusty’s US title. Notice how the babyfaces make sure to support Dusty and the heels challenge Dusty? And now the top 10 seeds for the Crockett Cup, many of which ended up not happening due to re-booking stuff: 10. Ivan Koloff & Dick Murdoch 9. Sting & Ron Garvin 8. Varsity Club 7. Fantastics 6. Windham & Luger 5. Powers of Pain 4. Midnight Express 3. Road Warriors 2. Nikita & Dusty 1. Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard Chicago Street Fight: Dusty Rhodes & The Road Warriors v. The Powers of Pain & Ivan Koloff The ropes are wrapped in barbed wire just for fun. Animal is wearing a hockey mask due to having a weight dropped on his face, so he’s rather upset. The babyfaces beat on the Powers and of course Dusty is the first one to bleed. The poor ref just stands around outside waiting for a pinfall, and Animal quickly finishes Barbarian with a powerslam. Just a big messy brawl, nothing to it. ½* Nikita Koloff is back and he’s high on SPORTS, not drugs. Also, Dusty Rhodes is his friend. NWA World tag team titles: Tully Blanchard & Arn Anderson v. Barry Windham & Lex Luger The Horsemen had been champions forever and teaming up Windham & Luger was the nuclear option to deal with the problem once and for all. It not only made it sweeter for fans when they succeeded, but made the Horsemen seems all the more terrible when they outsmarted everyone and got the belts back again. Ah, those were the days. Farewell to Luger’s music, by the way. Luger overpowers Tully to start, and clotheslines both champions. Powerslam for Tully and he racks him, but Arn kicks him in the knee and quickly goes to work on it. The Horsemen switch off on the knee, but Barry gets a quick tag and cleans house. Lariat for Tully and he drops the knee, and his own powerslam gets two. Sleeper and Tully rolls out to escape, but Barry just hangs on. Tully tries going up and gets slammed off, and Windham follows with an abdominal stretch, leaving him open for a DDT from AA. That gets two. The crowd is just insane for the faces, popping for everything. Spinebuster gets two and Arn does the knucklelock spot and lands on Windham’s knees, but brings Tully back in as he pounds away for two. Windham comes back with a bodypress for two and they collide, setting up the pinfall reversal spot. Windham reverses the bridge into a gutwrench suplex, but Anderson cuts off the tag and works on the arm. Windham fights out of it, but Arn takes him down again, and they butt heads. Back to Tully for the slingshot suplex, but that only gets two. Arn can’t cut off another tag, and Luger is HERE. Clotheslines for everyone and the crowd is just going crazy as Luger is no-selling everything. Tully trips him up, but Luger comes right back with a powerslam for Arn and it’s BONZO GONZO. JJ grabs a chair, but Luger rams Arn into it and the pop redefines the term “blowing the roof off the joint at 9:34, ****1/4 Not only some of the loudest sustained heat for any match you’ll ever hear, but one of the fasted-paced tag team matches you’ll ever see, as they just packed everything but the kitchen sink into a 10-minute match and threw it all there. Also highly recommended is the rematch where Windham turned on Luger and ripped the hearts out of fans everywhere: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVk0NgwtwLI NWA World title: Ric Flair v. Sting So this is Sting’s first big shot at the title, with a 45-minute TV time limit and a panel of judges to make sure there’s a winner. Including Jason Hervey and Eddie Haskell, so you know they mean business. Sting grabs the headlock to start and powers Flair down off a wristlock. They do the test of strength and Flair opts to chop out of it, but Sting no-sells it and hiptosses him out of the ring. Back in, Sting controls with a hammerlock and they criss-cross into a press-slam from Sting. Sting takes him down with a flying headscissors into the hiptoss, and back to the headlock again. Flair fights up and hiptosses out of it, but Sting counters and goes right back to it again. Flair fights up and Sting hiptosses him and tries another dropkick, but Flair dodges him. Sting gets tossed but pops right back in and fires away in the corner, then right back to the headlock again. Flair chops out of it and they slug it out in the corner, and Sting gets another press slam, into the bearhug. Flair makes it to the corner to escape and Sting tries to follow with the Stinger splash, but misses and hits his arm on the post. Flair is all over him, tossing him and running him into the railing. Back in, Flair throws the chops and Sting goes down, so Flair hammers on the back. Kneedrop times two and Flair rips at the face just to be a bastard. He rakes the face on the ropes and fires more chops in the corner, and Sting ends up on the floor again. Flair sends him into the railing again and they head back in so Flair can chop him again. Sting gets fired up, though, and slugs Flair right out of the ring, but charges at Flair and hits the post. So the arm is hurt again and Flair goes to town back in the ring, but Sting pops up and slugs away in the corner. Clothesline gets two. Flair tries to make a run for it, but Sting suplexes him back in and into the Scorpion Deathlock. Flair quickly makes the ropes, so Sting takes Flair to the corner again and shrugs off a chop. He slugs Flair down for two, but Ric is in the ropes again. Sting hiptosses him and tries a clothesline, but Flair moves and Sting hits the floor again. Flair takes a breather, but Sting comes in with a high cross for two. Flair catches him with the kneecrusher, however, and starts pounding on the knee. Another kneecrusher and Sting bails to the floor. Back in, Flair pounds on the knee again and adds a backdrop suplex, and now we go to school! Flair uses the ropes to assist as usual, but Sting powers into the reversal. Flair is up first, however, and goes after the knee again, then sets up on the apron for a suplex. Crowd freaks out, but Sting suplexes him back in instead, only to miss a big splash. They fight for the abdominal stretch and Sting wins that, but Flair hiptosses out. Flair chops him down and goes up, but Sting slams him off for two. He pulls Flair into the corner and posts him, then gets his own figure-four. Flair escapes, so Sting stomps on the knee again and yanks him out of the corner to work on the leg again. Flair Flip and he hits the floor, but Sting follows and beats on him. Flair tries a sunset flip back in, but Sting slugs him down and rakes Flair’s face on the ropes. Sting fires away in the corner, then no-sells Flair’s atomic drop and clotheslines him for two. Stinger splash misses and Sting hits the floor in dramatic fashion. Back in, they slug it out and Flair goes down, but comes back with a sleeper, so Sting rams him into the turnbuckle to break. Flair tosses him in desperation, but Sting comes back in with a sunset flip, which Flair blocks for two. Young kicks him out of the ropes and Sting gets two. Flair begs off and Sting whips him out, but Flair comes in with a high cross, reversed by Sting for two. Sting no-sells all of Flair’s offense now, hammering him in the corner to set up the Stinger splash. Scorpion Deathlock with time running out, but Flair hangs on until the time limit at 45:00. The decision: Two judges for Flair, two for Sting, one for a draw. Silly booking aside, I definitely gave this one short shrift on the original rant, as the full match flows much better and you can see the storyline of young and hungry Sting fighting for his life but not knowing how to finish. Definitely a modern classic. ****1/2 The Pulse Are you KIDDING me? This is the one of the best wrestling shows in HISTORY, full stop, with three **** matches in a two-hour span. Yet another reason to justify the $10 for the Network.