Jumbo Tsuruta & John Tenta vs. The Road Warriors (and other Dream Matches!)

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time, we’ve got something weird- apparently when John Tenta was just starting out in wrestling, he was in ALL JAPAN of all places, teaming up with the Ace and weighing only 300-ish lbs., and fighting the legendary Road Warriors!

Also I found more of that bizarre Land of Giants team, as they take on… The Undertakers? Yes- it’s a pair of obese twins with a name the WWF actually bought off of them. Then wen see a “Battle of the Kings” as King Mabel decides to take out Ken Shamrock shortly after his King of the Ring victory- a shockingly good attempt at putting a guy over from MABEL of all people! And then, in a fantastically-terrible bout, come see the legendary POWER UTI, villain of Mick Foley’s first book and national hero of Nigeria, take on the worst wrestler in AEW- Doc “Super Festus” Gallows! And then we cap things off with WCW’s Wrath & Mortis vs. The Faces of Fear in a shockingly-good Hoss Brawl!

JUMBO TSURUTA & JOHN TENTA vs. THE ROAD WARRIORS (Hawk & Animal, w/ Paul Ellering):
(All Japan, 1987.6.8)
* Haha, oh Jesus- look at this! Baby John Tenta, fresh out of sumo and having lost a LOT of weight, is in the early stage of his pro wrestling career in All Japan as the Ace’s tag team partner, and they’re going up against the early form of the Road Warriors, in full black spike-vests and ’80s facepaint! Tenta, in his navy-blue singlet with a Canadian flag on it, is almost unrecognizable, being barely 300 lbs. and scarcely larger than Jumbo- he’s all straight lines! Even at 24 he’s lost almost all the hair on top of his head, though.

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Brian Lee vs. Wrath (and other Dream Matches!)

Welcome back to more of wrestling’s most unexpected Dream Matches! This week: it’s 1992 SMW, as Brian Lee the would-be Southern babyface star takes on a green-ass Adam Bomb/Wrath/Brian Clarke in his “Nightstalker” identity! And remember Blitzkrieg in WCW? The skinny white guy who copied all the cool shit he saw from puro/lucha tapes (wait… does that make him the most influential wrestler in history?)? Well here he is against Psychosis! And last week I showed you PCO as “X” in NWA TNA, as he won an X Division Battle Royal in a big debut- here’s his follow-up match against Chris Sabin! And finally, we end things with a sequel to that RINGS match from two weeks ago- this is one of the most beloved “Shoot Style” matches of all time, as Volk Han takes on Kiyoshi Tamura! Puro mat-wrestling fans LOVE this one!

BRIAN LEE vs. THE NIGHTSTALKER:
(Smoky Mountain Wrestling, 1992 sometime?)
* Yes, it’s the ultimate Dream Match of CHAINZ vs. WRATH, bitches! This is from way, WAY early in the careers of both men, with Lee having 4 years to Brian Clarke’s 2. The Nightstalker was infamously bad at this point, to the extent that he looks like THAT and Vince McMahon still waited four years to bring him in. Dude was at least 6’4″ legit and incredibly jacked here, wearing black trunks and gloves. Lee looks pretty hilarious- he has big “Southern wrestler” vibe with the GIGANTIC mullet (even ’92 Crush would be embarrassed), plain black trunks, and bleach-blond hair. He has long, skinny arms & legs with a jobbery physique, so with his huge height he just looks like someone made a jobber version of one of those “growing dinosaurs” that gets bigger in water.

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