Andre the Giant, Giant Baba & Dory Funk Jr. vs. Kenta Kobashi, Toshiaki Kawada & Kikuchi (and other Dream Matches)

And we’re back with more of wrestling’s oddest Dream Matches! Two in one week, no less! Tonight we’ll see a “WTF?” Old-Timers vs. Rookies match as two of the Four Pillars face some washed-up megastars, and some WWF hossery from various giant dudes based off of historical & mythological figures! More Berzerker- challenging his counterpart, the Barbarian! Also the Warlord versus Hercules!

Once again, WWF-owned YouTube clips get the Blog into trouble, but they’re not hard to find with a simple search.

ANDRE THE GIANT, GIANT BABA & DORY FUNK, JR. vs. TOSHIYAKI KAWADA, KENTA KOBASHI & TSUYOSHI KIKUCHI:

* Okay, now this is just strange. I figured Baba was only in the “comedy matches” at this point, as he looks about as unintimidating as you can possibly look while being nearly as tall as Andre is, but there you go. He’s got his standard “broad and wide torso that nonetheless has all the ribs exposed like he’s a starvation victim” physique, with the lil’ tiny bird arms, and red trunks. Andre’s in a blue version of his regular gear, while Dory’s in blue- he’s a HUGE legend in Japan and deeply respected for his work with Baba and others. Kawada’s the Grumpy Kicking Asshole (ignoring Dory’s handshake attempt), Kobashi’s a young up & comer not quite into his big push, and Kikuchi’s his tag partner- a guy with a GREAT wrestling physique (Dynamite/Savage-style size & body), but who never got a serious push after that tag team. He’s instantly recognized as the “polite Young Boy wrestler” by him gleefully shaking Dory’s hand.

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Abdullah the Butcher vs. Zeus (and other Dream Matches)

And we’re back with more bizarre finds of “what can I find by typing random names into YouTube?” (and also some requests from sadistic BOD members). This set sees a match between two of the worst workers of all time clearly booked by a monster, along with some unusual WWF matches- the Colossal Connection vs. The Rockers, plus a certain legendary JTTS worker “Huss”-es his way in!

Once again, WWF YouTube videos are non-kosher to post here, but you can find them pretty easily.

ZEUS vs. ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER:
(World Wrestling Council, 1990)
* OH MY GOD SOMEONE ALLOWED THIS TO HAPPEN!!! This is in Puerto Rico, a pretty wild territory (a murderous one, even), with the famous blood ‘n’ guts wrestler Abdullah facing off against Zeus, following his WWF run, which was so bad he wasn’t even trusted to do a solo match with Hogan in a big way. They look like a pair of “Fist of the North Star” villains fighting- Zeus roided to the gills and in silver & black pants, and Abdullah this scarred-up monstrosity, baggy pants hoisted up to his tits. I mean, at least Zeus LOOKS like a star.

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Andre the Giant, El Canek & Villano III vs. Yokozuna, Bad News Brown & 2 Cold Scorpio (and other Dream Matches)

This is like what happens when you hit “Random” in Fire Pro.

RANDOM DREAM MATCHES:
* So randomly searching YouTube for stuff, I found some true gems and some weird stuff, and decided to make a thing of it. This first one is just BONKERS and it got a great reaction when I posted it in the live thread a week back, so I had to share it here. Some are ironic “LOLWTF THOSE guys wrestled!?!” while others are legitimately good. A few of these are WWF & WCW matches posted on YouTube, so I won’t post them here (it demonetizes the blog or somesuch thing), but they’re easy to find.

ANDRE THE GIANT, EL CANEK & VILLANO III vs. KOKINA MAXIMUS, BUFFALO ALLEN & BLACK SCORPIO:
(Universal Wrestling Association, Mexico, 03.05.1992)
* Yes, it’s YOKOZUNA, BAD NEWS BROWN & 2 COLD SCORPIO! Fighting ANDRE, plus Mexican legend El Canek (one of the few guys to slam Andre) and Villaino III (elder brother of IV & V). This is like what happens if you hit “Random” in Fire Pro to make your teams- Andre dressed in a red singlet teaming up with fighting Yokozuna, Bad News Brown and 2 Cold Scorpio! Andre is BEYOND washed up at this point, while Yoko is almost ready for his WWF run, being not quite as fat as he’d be in his 450-lb. debut. Andre’s in a red singlet, Canek’s in white, and Villano’s in blue. Kokina’s in black trunks, Allen’s in his usual black, and Scorpio is wearing a yellow mask and long tights- he’s got a great physique here, too.

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Rock Star Gary reflects on WCCW 01-21-1984

Taped from Dallas, TX

Airdate: January 21, 1984 (taped 01/06)

Attendance: unknown

Hosted by Bill Mercer

How will Andre make a difference for Parsons against Devastation, Inc.? Can Kevin topple Garvin, and will Adams be a factor? Who also makes an impolite debut? And what dynamic duo will assist me with hosting this episode?

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Rock Star Gary reflects on WWF Monday Night RAW 02-01-93

Live from New York, NY

Airdate: February 1, 1993

Attendance: 900

Hosted by Vince McMahon, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, & Rob Bartlett

Can Typhoon defeat Doink the Clown? Who will make a surprise appearance this week? What will stem from it?  Let’s find out!

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Rock Star Gary reflects on WWF Survivor Series 1989

Live from Rosemont, IL

Airdate: November 23, 1989

Attendance:  15,294

Hosted by Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura

Who will survive? The Dream Team or the Enforcers? The King’s Court or the 4x4s? The Hulkamaniacs or the Million Dollar Team? Rude’s Brood or Roddy’s Rowdies? The Ultimate Warriors or the Heenan Family? Let’s find out!

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Rock Star Gary reflects on…WWF Royal Rumble ’89

WWF Royal Rumble ‘89

Live from Houston, TX

Airdate: January 15, 1988

Attendance:  19,000

Hosted by Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura

Question to the masses: If a baseball game lasts until 3am on a work night, can we still blame Vince McMahon? Ponder on that while enjoying the show.

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Rock Star Gary reflects on SNME XVIII

Taped from Sacramento, CA

Airdate:  November 26, 1988 (taped 11/16)

Attendance:  15,900

Hosted by Vince McMahon & Jesse “The Body” Ventura

Warrior scares the dickens out of everyone by opening the program. Hey! This isn’t the Halloween episode! Regardless, he wants to spoil Super Ninja’s Thanksgiving weekend. I believe salmonella enterocolitis would be less painful.

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Rock Star Gary reflects on WWF Survivor Series 1988

 

Live from Richfield, OH

Airdate: November 24, 1988

Attendance:  13,500

Hosted by Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura

We’re back in Richfield for the 2nd annual Survivor Series on Thanksgiving Night. Grab your turkey leg and enjoy!

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Rock Star Gary reflects on…WWF Wrestlefest ’88

Live from Milwaukee, WI

Airdate: July 31, 1988

Attendance:  25,866

Hosted by Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes, and “Superstar” Billy Graham

This is the Coliseum Home Video version from Milwaukee County Stadium, former home to the Brewers and occasionally the Green Bay Packers.

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Rock Star Gary reflects on…WrestleMania IV

Live from Atlantic City, NJ

Airdate: March 27, 1988

Attendance:  18,165 (17,000 paid)

Hosted by Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse “The Body” Ventura

Due to the chicanery and shenanigans perpetrated by DiBiase and André, the WWF title was declared vacant by WWF President Jack Tunney. Hence, a tournament will crown a new WWF champion tonight.

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Rock Star Gary reflects on WWF Royal Rumble ’88

Live from Hamilton, Ontario

Airdate: January 24, 1988

Attendance:  16,200

Hosted by Vince McMahon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura

“Why pay for a bunkhouse when there’s a free Rumble on TV?” – Avid wrestling fan in the late ‘80s.

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Rock Star Gary reflects on…Saturday Night’s Main Event XIV

Taped from Landover, MD

Airdate: January 2, 1988 (taped 12/7)

Attendance:  11,000

Hosted by Vince McMahon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura

To begin the show, Roberts welcomes us to 1988 and cuts a promo on Sika.

Afterward, Valentine and Hart tell Koko B. Ware jokes.

In case you didn’t know them, here’s a quick snippet by the tag champs.

Slick then speaks up for his Bolsheviks.

Next, Heenan, in a neck brace, informs us that André will be in Bundy’s corner for tonight’s title match.

In response, Hogan, sans fringe, shoots down Bundymania.

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Rock Star Gary reflects on SNME XIII!

Taped from Seattle, WA

Airdate: November 28, 1987 (taped 11/11)

Attendance:  16,000

Hosted by Vince McMahon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura

So it’s Thanksgiving weekend of 1987. Both Survivor Series and Starrcade took place already, and THIS show aired two nights later? And we think today’s wrestling is oversaturated? Sheesh!

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Rock Star Gary reflects on…Survivor Series 1987

Live from Richfield, OH

Airdate: November 26, 1987

Attendance:  21,000

Hosted by Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura

WWF’s message to all the cool kids in 1987: “Starrcade who? We’ve got something RAD!”

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Rock Star Gary reflects on WrestleMania III

Live from Detroit Pontiac, MI

Airdate: March 29, 1987

Attendance:  93, 173 (announced), 78,000 (75,700 paid)

Hosted by Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura

With the previous Saturday Night’s Main Events completed, the table is now set for one of the biggest shows in sports-entertainment history. There’s a key to why I say that—according to Pat Patterson on Legends of Wrestling shown on the WWE Network, similar to WrestleMania I, Vince McMahon risked EVERYTHING for this show. Let’s see if his gamble paid out.

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