TNA Slammiversary X (6.10.12)

JUNE 10, 2012

–  Well, the day has arrived.  Dixie is tweeting Christian photos and bragging about the biggest TNA crowd in history.  Could gain some huge momentum tonight.  Here we go!
–  Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz.

–  We begin with a look back at the major moments in the past 10 years of Total Nonstop Action.  It is labeled as a landmark event.  And now Direct Auto Insurance presents…TNA Slammiversary.  All red ropes, no pyro.  Crowd actually looks pretty decent.

–  Nothing says kicking off TNA’s biggest show like, Hulk Hogan making his way to the ring.  He says we are kicking off old-school with….
1.  Samoa Joe vs.  Austin Aries
–  Bell rings and this crowd is red hot.  Joe works the arm and Aries kicks it away.  Aries with a headlock and shoulderblocked down.  The trade kicks and Joe drops him with a STIFF kick!  He shoots Aries off and Aries comes back with a huricarana.  Joe to the floor and Aries hits the ropes.  He dives into a STIFF kick to the face from Joe.  Back in and Joe wipes his boots off with Aries being the place mat.  Running kick to the face in the corner.  Cover gets 1.  Joe goes for the running senton and Aries gets the knees up.  Aries trues to send him off the ropes and Joe sends him to the outside.  Joe goes to dive, Aries runs back in.  Aries dives and connects low post on the floor.  Back inside, Aries charges and Joe counters for a 2.  Aries for a Brain Buster, blocked, Joe with a lifting powerbomb.  Cover get 2, Joe picks him up, Boston Crab.  He turns it, CROSSFACE!  He rolls up Aries for 1.  Joe tries to set up a Muscle Buster, but Aries won’t have it.  Joe takes him up for the superplex, but Aries counters with an ear ringer.  450 SPLASH BY ARIES!  Cover gets 2.8!!!!!!!  Holy shit!  Aries goes for the discus elbow, Joe blocks and locks in the Kokina Clutch.  Aries rolls on top for 2.5.  Joe misses a corner charge and Aries runs into the one-armed Uranage.  Joe sets him up on top.  Hard chop to Aries.  Muscle Buster, Aries counters, CRUCIFIX DRIVER!  Kick to the face dazes Joe and he is slumped in the corner.  Charging delayed dropkick on Joe.  BRAIN BUSTER ON JOE’S HEAD!  Cover gets 3 and Austin Aries wins it @ 11:46.  (THIS is TNA.  Unbelievable opener.  I was up off my seat at least 4 time here.  This is what they need to build on.  Dammit Joe still can go.  Aries is no slouch, either.  A.)
2.  Kid Kash vs.  Hernandez
–  Have no idea what this match is for.  I read the were gonna have this match and thought it was a rib.  Kash starts with quick forearms and kicks Hernandez to the chest.  Hernandez hits the ropes and shoulderblocks him down.  Kash grabs Hernandez’s arm and wrings it on the ropes.  Huricarana by Kash and Hernandez is on the apron.  Slingshot shoulderblock back in.  Jumping corner splash by Hernandez.  Hernandez clears the top rope and land on Kash!  Top rope splash ends it @ 5:50 and you winner is Hernandez.  (This reminds me of a mid card match on a WCW pay per view to get a wrestler over.  I call it a glorified squash.  D+.)
–  More great moments in TNA history.
3.  Robbie E and ROBBIE T vs.  Garret Bischoff and Devon
–  Robbie and Garret begin things with Robbie and Garret trading blows.  Crowd is shitting on Garret.  ROBBIE comes in and goozles Garret.  Garret kicks him and hits the ropes.  Robbie grabs Garret and pulls him outside.  He beats him down and throws him back in.  Robbie tags in and elbows Garret down for 2.  Sidewalk slam by ROBBIE and flying knee drop by Robbie gets 2.  Robbie hits the ropes and gets caught with a faceplant.  Devon tagged in and he drops Robbie.  Diving shoulderblock.  He takes out ROBBIE on the apron.  Thesz press and hammers away on Robbie.  Uranage on Robbie.  Shoulderblock takes out Robbie for a 2.  ROBBIE charges and Garret pulls down the top rope.  Another Uranage on Robbie and Devon and Garret get the win @ 5:54.  (Nothing special here to write home about.  Robbies should have won it.  D-.)
–  Backstage, Jeremy Borash is standing by with Daniels and Kazarian.  They are drinking apple-tinis and celebrating being fucking awesome.
4.  Mr. Anderson vs.  Rob Van Dam vs.  Jeff Hardy
–  Hardy is taking out everyone in the ring.  Now Anderson is up and gets thrown into RVD.  Anderson on the ground and POETRY IN MOTION!  Cover on RVD gets 2.  RVD tries a monkey flip and gets shoved onto his head for .  Hardy on the top and we were setting up for a Superplex/poerbomb.  Hardy crotches himself.  So we get a top rope superplex; followed by a Five Star Frog splash.  All 3 men battling on their knees.  RVD with a enziguiri to the face and rolls up with his feet for 2.  Spinning kick on Anderson from the corner.  Split legged Moonsault by RVD gets 2.  German Suplex on RVD by Anderson.  Hardy wants some and drop his legs across for the cover too.  RVD kicks out of everything!  RVD and Anderson battle on the floor.  Hardy flies on top of both men.  Hardy and RVD battle in the ring and Hardy hits Whisper in the Wind.  RVD tries a suplex and Hardy reverses for Twist of Fate.  Hardy nails the Swanton.  Cover gets 2 before Anderson pulls the referee out.  Anderson runs in and now battles with RVD.  RVD goes for the Rolling Thunder, Anderson pops up and nails the Mic Check for the win @ 11:21.  (You could tell this match was gonna be half-assed by all men in the ring.  Crowd got the guys to up their game.  I liked that.  C+.)
–  Backstage, JB is with Crimson.  He is confident that the streak remains in tact tonight.  Time to find out who his next opponent is.
–  Crimson makes his way out and grabs the mic.  He has been undefeated for 470 days.  He goes for cheap heat by shitting on the Texas crowd.  
5.  Crimson vs.  James Storm
–  Storm heads in and just blasts Crimson out the ring to the floor.  He suplexes him back in.  He backs him up to the corner and chops him in the corner.  Crimson kicks him low and starts choking him with his own jacket.  He throws him to the corner and Storm comes out with a big clothesline.  Codebreaker drops Crimson.  Last Call Superkick and James Storm ends the streak @ 2:09.  (Wow, build him up for a year and a half and then have him squashed in less than 3 minutes?  Not really smart booking here.  Crowd loved Storm though.  D+.)
–  Backstage, JB is standing my with Austin Aries.  What is next for the X Division Champion?  He says that he has accomplished everything set out for him.  Next, he wants to be the man in the main event.
–  Slammiversary moment #2, Hulk Hogan signs with TNA.
–  Dixie Carter comes out to her horrible music.  She says she is happy to be in front of the largest crowd in TNA history.  Dixie wants to thank the roster and they walk out on the stage.  The first inductee into the TNA Hall of Fame:  STING!  Dixie brings him in the ring and thanks him for everything he has done in TNA.  He will formally be inducted at Bound For Glory.  He thanks everyone and promises tonight will be showtime.
6.  Miss Tessmacher vs.  Gail Kim
–  Tessmacher starts off with quick offense.  Gail slows it down by working the arm.  Tessmacher is up and rocks her with a neckbreaker.  They trade forearm shots and Tessmacher drops her with clotheslines.  Tessmacher misses and hits the mat.  Neck-tie neckbreaker on Tessmacher.  (Thanks Mike Tenay.)  Gail sends her off the apron into the guardrail.  She rolls Tessmacher back in.  Tessmacher blocks Eat De Feet.  Victory roll on Gail and we have a new TNA Knockout Champion @ 6:57.  (Very slow and plodding.  Really predictable, but Tessmacher is not terrible in the ring.  D+.)
–  Tessmacher has a quick victory speech, post-match.  She blesses Texas.
–  Onto more important business.  JB is standing by with Bully Ray.  He says has Joseph Park right where he wants him.  He again doesn’t want to be held responsible for what is about to happen.  We get a pre-match video hyping up the following match.
7.  Bully Ray vs.  Joseph Park
–  Split “Let’s go Rangers/Yankees suck” chant breaks out before this one gets going.  Ray tells him to take a shot and Ray side steps him.  Ray slaps him around and spits in his face.  Park smacks Ray and Ray drops him immediately.  Ray goes to the outside for a chair.  Park kicks the ropes and Ray gets racked.  Park has the chair and Park turns his back.  Ray drops him again.  Ray brings the chair down across his back twice.   He blasts him in the face with a water bottle.  He tees off on his head on the floor and rolls him back in.  Ray heads up to the middle rope and misses the senton.  Park with a series of rights and lefts.  Ray runs into him and gets knocked back down.  Jumping big boot by Ray.  Now its time for tables.  Park scoots under the ring.  ABYSS comes out from under the ring!  Goozle on Ray and CHOKESLAM THROUGH THE TABLE!  Park rolls back in and covers for the win @ 10:23.  (I mean, we knew it was coming.  Not a strong point for the show, but the crowd was HOT for the match.  D.)
–  JB is standing by with TNA Champion, Bobby Roode,  He says HE is what TNA is all about.  Without him, there would be no TNA.
–  Hulk Hogan is out and brings out WWE Intercontinental Champion, Christian Cage!  Crowd welcomes him back.  Crowd chants YES YES YES.  Cage says there are 2 less corners in the ring since the last time he was there.  But one thing that hasn’t changed was the fans.  He introduces the number one moment in TNA history, Sting winning the NWA Title at Slammiversary.  More stoked they showed Monty Brown.  I’m kidding.  And that, my friends, was the trade of for Ric Flair.  We hype the TNA Tag Team Title Match.
8.  Kazarian and Daniels vs.  Kurt Angle and AJ Styles
–  AJ and Kaz begin it and AJ plants a beautiful dropkick on Kaz and Daniels.  Kaz tries to throw AJ into the guardrail and AJ SLIDES UNDERNEATH.  Springboard forearm off the guardrail.  Daniels clotheslined down.  AJ rolls Kaz back in and drops a high knee for 1.  Angle tagged in.  Double suplex gets 2.  Daniels comes in and kicks Angle down.  Angle backdrops Daniels and AJ comes back in.  Backbreaker on Daniels.  AJ gets hung up on the top rope missing a corner kick.  Daniels elbows him, grabs his hands, and drives a boot down to his chest.  Offensive move missed and HOT TAG to Kurt Angle.  He German suplexes Kaz and Daniels!  Ankle Lock on Daniels and Kaz kicks Angle straight in the face!  Angel’s Wings, countered, backdrop.  AJ springboards in and forearms Kaz.  Springboard inverted DDT on Kaz and regular DDT on Daniels!  AJ misses a charge, Kaz kicks AJ, and Daniels rolls the dice on AJ.  T-Bone suplex on Daniels.  Reverse facebuster on Kaz!  Cover gets 2.8!  AJ sets Kaz on the top rope.  Kaz battles a superplex and shoves him down.  ANGLE SPRINGS UP TOP WITH A BELLY TO BELLY!  STO on Angle!  AJ and Daniels trade blows in the middle of the ring now.  Roaring elbow misses, and Uranage on AJ.  BME misses and Angle plants Daniels on his head with a German suplex!  PELE kick on Kaz and top rope splash by Angle! Cover gets 2 and Daniel pulls the referee out.  AJ with a TOP ROPE SPRINGBOARD SHOOTING STAR PRESS ON DANIELS TO THE OUTSIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!  Kaz goes for Fade to Black on Angle, countered, grapevine Ankle Lock on Kaz!  Kaz taps out @ 14:20 and we have NEW TNA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!!  (Holy fuck of all fucking things!  I was so amped for this match and wish it could have ended the show.  No disappointment here at all.  Doesn’t get any better than that tonight!  A+.)
–  We hype the main event and felate the Stinger some more.  Nice video though.
9.  Sting vs.  Bobby Roode
–  Brian Hebner refereeing this match = REF BUMP REF BUMP REF BUMP!  Roode sporting his old robe tonight.  Really looking like a champion.  Roode stalling and won’t let Sting get his hands on him.  Sting chases him in the ring and Roode stomps him down.  Sting with a single leg takedown and goes for the Scorpion Deathlock.  Roode scoots out quick and Sting throws him into the guardrail.  Back in the ring, Sting peppers Roode to the corner.  He hiptosses him across the ring and goes for the Scorpion Deathlock again.  Roode tries to bail to the back and Sting grabs him.  Sting tries to pull him up on the apron and Roode brings him down on the top rope.  Roode with a big boot for 2.  Sleeperhold by Roode on Sting.  Sting reverses it and Roode back suplexes him down.  Roode heads up and Sting crotches him on the top rope.  Superplex by the Stinger.  Scorpion Deathlock applied on Roode in the middle of the ring.  Roode reaches out and finally makes the ropes.  Roode tries to head to the back again.  Sting won’t have it and bounces him off the guardrails until he throws him back in the ring.  Roode rolls out the opposite side and STINGER SPLASH AGAINST THE GUARDRAIL!  Now they climb on top of the broadcast table.  Scorpion Deathlock on the table!  Roode is tapping like crazy.  Roode grabs James Storm’s beers from the floor.  He swings on Sting but the referee takes it away.  Roode grabs another and breaks it over the head of Sting.  He covers and wins it @ 10:52.  (Well, there was your main event.  Really can’t say much about it.  The slow build made this thing look like it was building to something better.  Than that finish!?  C-.)
–  Sting pops up and his head is split open.  He nails Hebner (REF BUMP!) and attacks Roode.  He suplexes him on the entrance ramp.  He nails him with a Scorpion Death Drop off the stage through a table on the floor!  And that folks, is how it ends.
–  I gotta say this was a great show.  Sure we had some dull spots, but the crowd, Aries-Joe, and the tag match made this thing incredible.  I hope TNA can continue this type of momentum and return to the days of old.  The only gripe is the ending.   I mean, they want us to think Sting is going over.  Yet, they made him look horrible with a 10 minute match and weak ending.  Still, it keeps them rolling with the heel champion able to escape with the belt just barely.  So I can see where they went with things.  See you Thursday for another LIVE impact.

Michael’s Impact Review

MAY 17, 2012

–  Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz.  –  With the fallout from last Sunday’s Sacrifice, we get many questions answered in the opening video.  Then many more asked.  
–  Now inside the Impact Zone, Bobby Roode makes his way out and he is STILL the World Heavyweight Champion.  He has overcome the odds once again and will be throwing a huge bash next week to celebrate being the longest World Champion in TNA history.  He calls it his “It Factor Celebration of Domination”.  He calls out Hulk Hogan to hit the ring.  He has a list of demands for his party next week.  Hogan tears up his list because Roode hasn’t become anything yet.  He informs him that next week is Open Fight Night.  He says the World Title is going to be defended and invites a few of his “friends” to come out that may wanna partake in becoming the next TNA Champion.  Everyone from Devon to ODB is out there.  He is booking four elimination matches for tonight:  Rob Van Dam vs.  Bully Ray, Jeff Hardy vs. Ken Anderson, Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle. and then a Wild Card Battle Royal.  
1.  Bully Ray vs.  Rob Van Dam
–  Ray stops for a good minute and a half to rip up a sign and toss it in the air at ringside.  RVD works a side headlock and gets shoved back.  Ray pushes him back to the corner and gets dropped.  Rolling Thunder connects but Ray grabs a leg and works it over.  Ray misses a splash and RVD connects on a series of clotheslines.  RVD heads up top and misses a jumping side kick.  Bubba Cutter (not the great ECW one, but a cutter nonetheless) gets the win @ 3:22.  (Good match with back and forth action.  I can get jiggy with that all day.  C.)
–  We will take a look at King Mo later on.  I have no clue who this guy is, but his interview last week on MMA Live reminded me of Floyd Mayweather’s mic work.  That or Butters from South Park.
–  Back from commercial and they show THE WHOLE FUCKING INTERVIEW FROM MMA LIVE FROM LAST WEEK!  Fucking shit!
–  Backstage, Gail is pissed and telling Madison how she has to face both Velvet and Brooke tonight.  Madison don’t care.  Madison don’t give a shit.
2.  Wild Card Battle Royal
–  Entrants include Austin Aries, Crimson, Robbie E, ROBBIE T, Magnus, AJ Styles, Devon, Eric Young, ODB, Gunner, and Garret Bischoff.  By the time I type that, EY, ODB, and Crimson eliminated.  Magnus gone too.  Madison Rayne comes out to admire someone.  Robbie E eliminates ROBBIE T.  And Devon comes up from behind and tosses Robbie E.  ANOTHER COMMERCIAL BREAK?!?  SERIOUSLY!?  We are back and in the ring are Austin Aries, Devon, Garret Bischoff, AJ Styles, Gunner, and Austin Aries.  Devon charges towards Garret and gets eliminated.  AJ tosses Garret as he celebrates.  AJ and Aries do battle and its a counters in here Gentlemen.  AJ springboards over Aries and Gunner eliminates Aries.  AJ grabs Gunner and wins the Battle Royal @ 10:57.
–  Back on Impact and a blown up AJ Styles has the mic.  He says he has been business partners with Dixie for the last 10 years.  He can understand how things can get all mixed up, but they are both happily married. This brings out Daniels and Kazarian.  Kaz wants to know the truth about the pictures.  AJ swears his innocence.  Daniels breaks out an iPad and we see video of AJ and Dixie in a hotel headed to a room alone.  AJ snatches the iPad away and leaves the ring.  
–  We go back to 2006 when Angle defeated Joe the first time.  Now live backstage, Joe and Angle are chatting.  Angle slaps Joe and they brawl until the locker room breaks it up.  Hardy faces Anderson next.  Speaking of Anderson, he is chewing gum extra loud and breaking down angles of his controversial pinfall of Hardy from Sacrifice.  I change the channel.
3.  Mr. Anderson vs.  Jeff Hardy
–  Hardy with a waistlock to start and Anderson escapes.  Misses a neck breaker and Hardy drops him.  Hardy with a leg drop between the legs and gets 2.  Hardy kicks Anderson to the outside.  Anderson rolls back in and rolls him up for 2.  Hardy slingshots back in with a dropkick for 2.  Anderson returns with a neckbreaker for 2.  Hardy chop blocks the knee quickly.  Russian Leg Sweep by Hardy.  He grabs the legs and Anderson rolls him up for 2.  Hardy comes back with Whisper in the Wind for 2.  He goes for the Twist of Fate, blocked, Roll Through by Anderson, but Hardy counters with a Crucifix for the win @ 6:10.  (As much as I wanna be biased, a great match.  So much, I’m rating this a B-.)
4.  Velvet Sky vs.  Brooke Tessmacher vs.  Gail Kim
–  Gail tries to run and Brooke dumps her to the outside.  Couple of near falls between Brooke and Velvet.  Good three way moves (and not that way) including a Boston crab while Velvet has a side headlock.  Gail heads up top and dropkicks both women down.  Velvet hits In Yo Face on Brooke, but Gail dumps her to the floor.  Gail rolls up Brooke with a handful of tights for the win @ 4:40.  (Decent in ring work from all three.  Tried some interesting combinations and a good ending.  Hell a “happy ending” if you will.  
–  A pretty good commercial for the past 10 years of TNA airs.  Impressive.  
5.  Samoa Joe vs.  Kurt Angle
–  Angle tries an underhook on Joe and gets dropped.  Joe with a flying knee drop.  Joe wipes his boot on Angle’s face.  Joe charges into a belly to belly overhead throw.  Bobby Roode comes out to observe and we’ll be right back.  Back on Impact and Angle suplexes Joe over.  Angle rolls on top and chinlocks him.  Oh, and Roode is on commentary if you give a damn.  Joe escapes and Angle jumps off the second rope into an inverted atomic drop.  Joe hits the ropes and boots him in the face.  Joe lifts for a powerbomb and Angle slips out.  Angle with the Rolling Germans.  Joe hits the ropes and Angle lifts and nails the ANGLE SLAM!  Cover gets 2.8!  They trade shots and Joe belts Angle down.  Angle with the Ankle Lock applied. Joe kicks him away.  He puts Angle on the top for the Muscle Buster and Angle headbutts out.  Sunset flip off the top and Angle gets the win @ 12:27.  (Fantastic match.  I like that they hyped this match over the whole show and it delivered in every aspect.  B+.)
–  Hogan’s fucking rambling at the beginning of the show confused me.  I had no idea is we were setting up a five way match or what these guys were competing for.  Apparently Hogan will make the choice of one of these men to face Roode next week.  Other than that, every match was good.  Even the Knockouts match delivered.  Not a bunch of pointless promos backstage, just good wrestling in the ring.  And I am awarding $500 in Monopoly money to Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle for match of the night.  I always enjoy these two, much like my admiration for AJ and Angle matches.  Tommy Hall has you covered for Over the Limit and I’ll see you next week.

Michael’s Impact Review

Impact Wrestling on Spike TV
May 10, 2012
The Impact Zone – Orlando, Florida

–  Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz.

–  We begin Impact with Bobby Roode headed to the ring.  He brags about the fact he took out Mr. Anderson last week.  Then he took out RVD with a DDT to a steel chair.  He’s a regular one-man wrecking crew and is oozing amazement.  In two weeks, he will become the longest reigning TNA Champion in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD!  Out runs RVD, who has had enough of listening to the champ’s accolades.  He chases Roode out the ring and Mr. Anderson attacks Roode from behind and throws him in the ring.  Now Jeff Hardy runs in the ring and we got ourselves a BEAT-DOWN!  Referees run in to restore order and cue Hulk Hogan’s music.  He is liking what he is seeing.  Almost reminds him of the nWo.  Not his words, mine.  He has an idea to shake things up tonight.  He’s thinking about a fatal four way for tonight.  If Hardy or Anderson scores the pinfall, they take RVD’s spot in the main event at Sacrifice.  If Roode wins, he can choose any of the three to face at Sacrifice.  If RVD wins, he keeps his title shot and he can name the stipulation at Sacrifice.  RVD agrees and things are official.

–  Backstage, Bully Ray says although Austin Aries is small; he has been the biggest thorn in his side EV-AH!  He is tired of Aries “bullying” him around.  He is taking out Aries for good tonight, but you gotta stay tuned to see how.
–  On tap for tonight, we get an update on James Storm.  We get a FINAL CONFRONTATION between Matt Morgan and Crimson.  (Although they only fought once, but who’s keeping score)  But up next, Brooke Tessmacher (who was photographed in an awfully cold studio) takes on Velvet Sky.  
–  Backstage, Gail Kim is concerned with Brooke beating her for the title.  Well, not really.  Madison is concerned for looking great for a guy in the crowd.  She asks Gail he opinion and Gail cares.  Well, not really.
1.  Velvet Sky vs.  Brooke Tessmacher
–  Tessmacher with a monkey flip and shoots Velvet across the ring.  She tries is again and gets dumped on her back.  Brooke dropkicks her down and gives her a stinkface.  Velvet is up and takes exception.  She stomps a mudhole in Brooke and throws some knees to the face.  Basement dropkick gets 2.  Velvet goes for In Yo Face and gets driven back to the corner.  Brooke with a back suplex into a face lant for the win @ 3:41.  (Match was decent until the horrible looking finish.  C-.)
–  Post match, Gail runs out and nails Brooke from behind.  (Wouldn’t we all like to…)  Eat DeFeet for Brooke’s troubles and Gail stands over Brooke as we fade to a promo for James Storm.  
–  Elsewhere, AJ Styles is gearing up for Kurt Angle at Sacrifice…not concerned about what Daniels and Kazarian are gonna reveal later.
–  AND elsewhere, Jeff Hardy will bring an end to the selfish generation.
2.  “THE UNDEFEATED” Crimson vs.  Matt Morgan
–  As Morgan heads down to the ring, Bully Ray attacks him from behind.  He smashes a chair against his head and the ring post.  Morgan is busted open.  D Lo Brown, Al Snow, Pat Kenney, and referees run down to make the save and Morgan is twitching something bad.  WHAT?!?!?  NO FINAL CONFRONTATION!?!?!?
–  Back on Impact and…oh shit, Crimson has a mic.  He says he is tired of Morgan running his mouth about always wanting to end his streak.  He has the referee exercise the 10 count on Morgan.  Ya know, Dick Crimson ain’t so bad.  
–  We get the pleasure of RVD quoting Greek mythology.  Interesting story and how he compares himself to Achilles.  Austin Aries defends his X Division title next.
3.  Zema Ion vs.  Austin Aries
–  Aries with a side headlock and kicks Ion out the ring.  Aries dives to the outside, but nobody home.  Ion takes off with a somersault dive on the outside connecting on Aries.  Back inside, back suplex into a knee smash gets 2 for Ion.  Jumping, middle rope moonsault meets the knees of Aries.  Ion drives Aries to the corner and Aries goes up top.  Missile dropkick connects.  Delayed running dropkick and Brain Buster gets Aries the win @ 4:18.  (SOLID match and the crowd is gonna apeshit for Aries these days.  C+.)
–  Daniels and Kazarian head to the ring.  FINALLY we find out what this big surprise is.
–  We re-live the opening segment form earlier.  Backstage, RVD says he is thinking ladder match for the stipulation if he wins.  He also says “no one gets higher than RVD”.
–  In the ring, Daniels and Kazarian are ready to reveal AJ’s secret.  Daniels gives AJ one last shot to come out and reveal things himself.  AJ comes out and says things need to stop now.  Kazarian says he was protecting AJ at first, then he saw this information and he couldn’t protect him anymore.  We see a picture of AJ and Dixie Carter at a bar.  The second photo shows AJ with his hands on her face.  The last photo is AJ kissing Dixie.  Daniels says a picture is worth a thousand words and drops the photos at AJ’s feet as they leave the ring.  
4.  Robbie E (with ROBBIE T) vs.  Devon
–  Devon fights off Robbie E and ROBBIE T at the same time.  Standing spinebuster wins it for Devon @ 1:13.  (DUD)
–  Post match ROBBIE T lays out Devon with a standing powerslam.  Robbie E stands up and holds up Devon’s belt.
–  James Storm is talking about building a barn and taking time away from the ring, while wearing ripped jeans and looking like a bad ass, in his opinion.
–  Backstage, Joesph Park is headed out to the ring.  Why?
–  Devon is challenging both Robbies to match at Sacrifice.  Bad idea….
–  A professional looking fake news story is shown about the disappearance of Abyss.  This brings Joseph Park to the ring.  He is impressed with how the Impact Zone looks.  He is sweating something serious and turns his attention to Bully Ray.  He says he isn’t going away.  He promises to buy a ticket and be at Sacrifice on Sunday.  Well he’ll be the only asshole paying for a seat in the Impact Zone.  Out comes Bully Ray.  He says this isn’t a courtroom, its a ring.  He says he will do the same thing to Park that he did earlier to Morgan.  Park asks if Bully got beat by Abyss.  Then he asks if Ray lost to Devon again.  He then wonders if Ray got beat up by a man half his size last week.  He asks how the whole bullying thing is working out for him and Ray shoves Park down.  
–  Ken Anderson says something but I found the Celtics-Hawks game more interesting, so I switched the channel.
5.  Rob Van Dam vs.  Mr. Anderson vs.  Jeff Hardy vs.  Bobby Roode
–  Stereo ass-whipping for Roode as the bell rings.  RVD shoves everyone aside to get him some.  Hardy and Anderson do battle on the other side of the ring.  Anderson gets sent to the outside.  Roode backdrops RVD to the floor.  Hardy misses a Whisper in the Wind and Roode covers for 2.  We’ll be right back!  Back on Impact and Hardy nails a basement dropkick on Rode.  He dives off the apron at RVD and misses and EATS THE GUARDRAIL!  Anderson in the ring and clotheslines Roode down.  RVD back in and hits a Split Legged Moonsault on Anderson for 2.  Springboard side kick by RVD goes for Rolling Thunder but runs into a DOUBLE R SPINEBUSTER for 2.  Roode goes for the Fisherman Suplex on Roode, blocked, Twist of Fate connects!  Anderson runs in and nails the Mic Check.  Anderson spears Hardy to the outside and RVD nails a FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH for the win @ 9:33.  (Good main event.  Got to it, high spots, fast paced, and a quick commercial break.  I’ll take that business all day.  B-.)
–  RVD sits atop the ladder and points down at Roode.  PYRO EXPLODES AND ABYSS IS STANDING AT THE TOP OF THE RAMP!  He tells his brother he is getting too close to the fire and to back off before he gets burned.  Show ends.  
–  Last week I watched Impact and tried to see it from the eyes of a TNA fan (instead of the majority).  I did the same this week and enjoyed the show tremendously.  The matches and stories were well mixed.  They did a great job of hyping their pay per view, and it wasn’t even a go-home show.  Although many are taking a shit on the AJ reveal, I liked it.  I makes for a new story with many twist and turns.  Right now, though, my attention is on Spike TV’s MMA Uncensored show with King Mo and Dixie Carter announcing that he will compete in TNA and Bellator.  I’m actually more interested in how Dixie is on TV with “fuck hair”.  See you next Thursday.