Catching up on ROH TV Part one: September 7th-8th edition

The last two weeks have been focused squarely on the world title tournament, with 6 tourney matches being put in the books.  #1 seed Michael Elgin faced Paul London, BJ Whitmer wrestled what was likely his final match, TV Champion Matt Taven had stiff first round competition in triple crown winner Roderick Strong, Jay Lethal and Adam Cole kicked of the quarterfinals and “Mr.Wrestling” fought what appeared to be a stoned Jesus Christ. This is the super late Review for LAST week.  The Thrilling conclusion of “please forgive me I’ll be getting these out in timely manner again starting next week” is coming tomorrow.  With the house cleaning out of the way, we have our opening contest…

1st round match: “Sicilian Psychopath” Tommaso Ciampa vs” The Last Real Man in Pro Wrestling” Silas Young

Young has a surprising amount of heat, dude got more universal distaste from the crowd then anyone else on the show.  They start with a crazy intense lockup that sends both men to the floor.  They still don’t break the collar ‘n’ elbow!  They take turns ramming each other into the barricade, neither breaking the stalemate.  Sinclair gets count gets too high for either guys liking so they finally break and run back into the ring.  Young sweeps the leg for some ground and pound.  Ciampa stops the assault by rolling Young’s shoulders down for a 2 count.  Young escapes a chin lock with a back suplex and beats Ciampa from corner to corner.  Young charges but gets caught with a boot.  Ciampa goes to pull his knee pad down when the crowd starts a chant…

RIP THE MUSTACHE clap* clap* clap clap clap*     

RIP THE MUSTACHE clap* clap* clap clap clap*

Tommaso responded by picking Silas up BY HIS MUSTACHE, and then throwing him…BY HIS MUSTACHE!  Beard Money is still weeping at the injustice.  Ciampa does pull down the kneepad now, but his running knee is cut off with a clothesline.  crowd is pissed.  Young doesn’t give his last real shit what they think as we fade to commercial…

Back with Ciampa and Young trading blows on the apron.  Silas is stunned by a jumping knee, but Ciampa takes way too long following up and is suplexed to the floor!  both guys are hurting when they break the count at 14.  The kneeling men trade headbutts and we get the first generic indy stand-off of the night!  Silas whiffs on a clothesline to set up a dragon suplex that gets Ciampa 2.  Tommaso exposes the knee and runs the ropes, right into a basement dropkick form Silas.  School boy gets 2, Ciampa kicks out right into a backbreaker/lariat combo that also gets 2.  Roll through Green Bay slam sets Young up for a top rope headstand split-legged moonsault. (overcompensating for something Silas?)  Young spends to much time on his head and Ciampa takes him back down with a knee to the mustache.  Super kryptonite krunch is blocked by Young.  Young dives into a…spinebuster I think. Ciampa must not have accounted for the extra weight of Young’s manliness because this was bowling shoe ugly.  Ciampa’s sloppy catch gets 2.  Project Ciampa is slipped out of for generic indy stand off #2.  Silas wins the battle of forearms with a guillotine drop, followed by a boot and a lariat.  Ciampa just MANS UP and no sells the whole beat down and we get GENERIC INDY STAND OFF #3!!!  Silas runs the ropes only to be caught in a pop up project Ciampa for the 3 count!  **This was the definition of inoffensive.  Nothing bad, but also nothing you’ll remember after it’s over except maybe a comedy spot with the World’s “Last Real Facial Hair”.  Young refuses the code of Honor post match, because he’s a prick.

1st Round Match: “Buzz Saw” BJ Whitmer vs Michael Bennett
Code of honor is adhered to, but Bennett goes for a cheap shot when BJ turns his back.  BJ ducks and catches Mikey with an enzugiri.  Exploder suplex gets 2 for BJ.  Bennett takes a powder, but BJ follows him out with a suicide dive.  Bennett is suplexed on the floor and tossed back in to the ring.  BJ pounds Bennett all over the ring till a drop to hold reveres their positions.  BJ is hung on the second rope, so Bennett leaves the ring to dropkick him in the face from the floor (for some reason).  I said this the last time Bennett did this spot and I’ll say it again here: STOP!! Jesus H. Christ Bennett, you have the worst fucking dropkick ever thrown by a man under 500 pounds, so stop trying to look cool by throwing it from the floor.  Bennett pulls BJ outside and runs him into the barricade.  A pair of Yakuza kicks from Bennett serve as a backdrop to Maria coming on commentary.  “We like it rough” she says.  Oh no, at this rate she’ll flip Nigel’s pervert switch!  “I’ll bet you do.”  Too late.

Commercial

Back with BJ hitting a belly-to-back suplex for 2.  Bennett responds with a main event spinebuster that also gets 2.  Bennett gets nowhere fast with a chin lock before transitioning to the Boo/Yay spot.  Crowd is way into BJ here.  Double clothesline ends that with both guys down.  Maria throws her shoe in the ring for Bennett and distracts the ref.  Nigel has had enough and he ejects he from the match personally.  I’ll pretend he wasn’t slapping her on the ass as he carried her out, cause sexually harassing an employee’s girlfriend would be an awfully douchey thing for a babyface to do.  Nigel gets massive heat for taking Maria away (no one said the fans weren’t equally misogynistic), so I’ll assume she was the reason the crowd kept chanting BJ! BJ! BJ!  Bennett leaves the ring to protest Nigel’s involvement, so BJ dives off the top to wipe him out.  Whitmer appeared to land on his face, which would suck, at least it can only go up from there right?  Back inside, a powerslam gets 2 for Whitmer.  BJ follows up with a corner to corner knee and rolling vertical suplex into a northern light suplex–with the bridge–for 2.  BJ contests the count, then walks into a jaw breaker from Bennett.  TKO gets 2, and now Bennett argues with the count.  BJ rolls a fisherman neck breaker into a fisherman suplex–with the bridge–for 2.  They fight out to the apron where BJ tries for an exploder suplex.  Bennett piledrives him on the apron and suddenly Kevin Kelly’s commentary track changes as though it were taped some point after the show.  BJ is unable to continue and Sinclair calls for the bell.  **3/4 What isn’t shown is the aftermath, with Richards and other paramedics coming out to check on BJ, Bennett looking horrified with himself, and the crowd falling into a hushed silence.  I’ve been to a lot of wrestling shows in my short life, but I’d never seen something like what happened to the crowd here.  Match was going pretty well (shitty dropkick not with standing) till the ugly finish.  Want some black comedy?  A quote from me back in June describing BJ’s title match with Jay Briscoe: “He’s still has the charisma of
a rock, but as long as he throws himself headfirst through a table every match
he should be fine.” 

I have a very keen sense of hindsight

-Recap of Davey Richards killing Paul London at Border Wars 2013. (Is this injuries sustained on the apron week!?)  I was at that show too…

1st Round Match: “Unbreakable” Michael Elgin vs “Intrepid Traveler” Paul London
London is out to a great ovation.  Crowd tops it with the hometown pop.  Elgin looks like he’s in the best shape of his career, he’s dropped the singlet for standard wrestling tights and there is no belly to speak of.  Feeling out process to start.  Chain wrestling continues gaining in speed until Elgin is rolled up for 2 and dumped to the outside.  Elgin runs right back in but misses with a clothesline.  London lands a dropkick but Elgin doesn’t go down, instead responding with a dominant shoulder tackle.  London earns a full 1.0 on the Marty Jannetty scale with his sell job.  London fights out of the corner with a boot and a diving knee off the second rope.  Elgin still wont fall down.  Reversals are traded and Elgin gets dropkicked in the knee, followed by one to the face.  Cover only gets a 1 count.  Elgin powers out of a front face lock by dropping London on the apron.  A right hand stuns Elgin, but he catches the attempt at a springboard crossbody.  Snake eyes is also reversed and London jumps off Elgin’s face to get to the apron–only to springboard into a powerslam!  Awesome sequence.  Paul gets a prolonged lesson in Elgin-ese with the super delayed vertical (crowd lost count somewhere around 35 seconds).  That’s not what he meant when he asked you if you’d help him get high Michael!

Commercial

Back with both guys fighting on the apron.  Crowd chants “please don’t die” (See Whitmer, BJ).  London leaps and Hurricanranas Elgin from the apron to the floor!  London recovers first and he throws Elgin into the ring.  “Unbreakable” pops up for a DVD but London escapes into Sunset roll up position.  Stop me if you’ve heard this next one; Elgin is to big and strong to be rolled into a pin, but London won’t stop trying.  The big man then eyes the crowd and formulates a plan; he leaps into the air like an idiot, the small man darts out of the way and the larger wrestler lands flat on his fat ass.  It’s right up there with trying to powerbomb Kidman in the “Wrestling plays that never fucking work” list.  Standing shooting star press equates to another 2 count.  London misses a dive and gets kicked in the face, but he stays on top of things reversing a German into another 2 count.  Elgin is done with this losing shit and drills London with a Bossman slam that puts Ray Taylor to shame.  Dead lift German gets 2; Elgin signals for the buckle bomb.  Paul escapes and sweeps the leg for a Davey double stomp to the Canadian’s face for 2.  Both guys are up at the same time, and we all know what that means right?  GENERIC INDY STANDOFF IV!!!  Elgin no sells an enzugiri, London does not no sell getting his head smashed in by an elbow.  Elgin spends too much time on a wind up lariat and is dropkicked to the outside.  London goes up and it’s a Davey double stomp to the floor.  He throws the canuck in the ring for a cover but he only gets 2 again.  London wants to fly again (because really, what else is he gonna do with the size differential).  Elgin cuts him off up top; London’s sunset bomb attempt flops and he’s sent to the apron.  Dead lift superplex gets 2.  Buckle bomb connects, but London turns the Elgin bomb into a reverse hurricanrana!  Shooting Star Press connects, the crowd gasps–and Elgin kicks out at 2.  Toronto nearly had a heart attack on that one.  London is out of moves and tries something drastic with a super hurricanrana.  Big mistake, Super powerbomb from Elgin–no cover.  Elgin picks him up for a spinning backfist, a buckle bomb, and an Elgin bomb that mercifully ends Paul’s night.  Moral of the story, don’t piss off Michael Elgin.*** Very good match, but ACH and Anderson had a similar match that was, in my view, better just last week.  I hope we see London again (preferably teaming with Kendrick), but Elgin going over is the only thing that made any sense here

Decent show.  The BJ match is marred by a legitimately scary ending, and the opener is “meh”, but a solid main event ties it together in an acceptable package

See you all tomorrow for the 14th to 15th edition, and next week for the new show.  In the meantime check out this Article on the greatest US champions of all time I contributed to at Placetobenation.com; my list is on the second page.

/http://placetobenation.com/the-five-count-top-united-states-champions/