No real reason for this one other than the fact I haven’t reviewed any Ring of Honour on here yet and we’re coming up for the eleventh anniversary of this show, so I thought it would be fun to show how the wrestling landscape has changed since this event took place. I also liked the symmetry of posting a show which contains Bryan Danielson taking on a monster World Champion when he’s just recently taken on a monster World Champion in WWE.
ECW On Sci-Fi #81 12/25/2007
This is a retrospective episode with highlights of Lashley’s feud with The McMahons, New Breed vs. Originals and Morrison vs. Punk. It ends with with Tazz kicking Joey Styles into a Christmas Tree so this GIF saved you an hour.
But first, Armageddon 2007!
We’re in Boston, MA home of Sasha Banks, A-Train and that John Cena guy.
CM Punk & Kane vs. Deuce & Domino
We get a recap of Big Daddy V & Mark Henry destroying CM Punk last week and Kane coming to his rescue. This is a warm-up for the just-announced tag match at Armageddon.
Tazz: ”You could never hang with cool guys like Deuce & Domino.”
Joey: ”What if I was their parole officer?”
Show starts with Matt Striker forcing CM Punk to choose between wrestling either Big Daddy V or Mark Henry tonight. ”C’mon Straight Edge, pick your poison!”
Kevin Thorn’s shitty new look has already been added to the intro.
Nice of them to bother but his last televised match is next week.
Let’s start by covering that Survivor Series match that ECW on Sci-Fi spent all of one match hyping.
We’re in Wichita, Kansas. Well ECW on Sci-fi is, I’ll be in sunny Oberhausen watching wXw when this is uploaded, probably nursing a hangover. Oh sorry, hangöver.
I’m nursing what may be the Wrestlemania X7 of hangovers so this recap is unofficially endorsed by Fireball Whiskey, Bonnie Tyler and bad decisions. We’re in Bakersfield, CA, home of Korn, Adema and er Vincent Brothers.
We’re in Long Island New York and we have spooky graphics because IT’S HALLOWEEN MOTHERFUCKERS and we get the long-awaited Monster Mash Battle Royal!
Looking back at the incidents that negatively shaped Kennedy’s WWE career, seeing what was his fault and what was in the universe’s hands.
We’re in Kansas City, Missouri and Cyber Sunday is this weekend so expect this show to be more like a Jerry Lewis telethon than a wrestling show.
We’re in the United Kingdom (no city mentioned but it’s Birmingham), our main event is a handicap tag match and I’m looking forward to seeing which UK wrestler makes a jobber appearance.
I was going to post some news from Powerslam Magazine but they’re currently in storage so you’ll have to wait two weeks (just like real Powerslam Magazine!) but the important things to know are it’s the show after No Mercy 2007, we’re in Detroit, Michigan and no-one’s died and John Morrison is challenging for Punk’s title tonight after serving his punishment for Wellness Violation.
We’re in Indianapolis and our main event is CM Punk vs. Matt Striker so you’re better off reading the Daily Thread than this.
The lame version of DON’T QUESTION MY HEART brings us to Atlanta, GA and our main event is finally The Boogeyman vs. Big Daddy V!
We’re in Minneapolis, MN and Armando Estrada proudly introduces us to the new ECW Champion: CM Punk. Punk recognises Armando’s brown-nosing and gifts him the new CM Punk shirt (the one that looked like a bunch of tattoos). Armando puts it on, thanks Punk and introduces his opponent this Sunda–OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NOT ELIJAH BURKE AGAIN.
Well if you were expecting a fun write-up, don’t bother clicking the ”more” bit.
We’re in Cincinnati, Ohio and last week Punk won a Fatal Four Way to earn a shot at John Morrison’s title. I’m in a rush so let’s get to it.
Let’s take a look at the relevant news from Powerslam Magazine before we watch this episode because WWE’s reputation was declining quicker than Rickety Cricket in Always Sunny:
Same intro but Manson’s gone (yay!) and been replaced by Don’t Question My Heart by Saliva. It’s an early version of the song though and sounds like The Deftones are belting it out. The proper version stuck around for years and was very hummable. Even Mike Adamle used the ”don’t question my heart” line in a promo and you know Adamle’s high standard.
We’re live in Mohegan Sun Casino with Coachman continuing his search for WHO IS VINCE’S KID. Oh and he casually introduces the new ECW GM, Armando Estrada. Armando says his name a few times and introduces John Morrison and CM Punk for the contract signing for Summerslam. ”Sitting on the chair next to me with your little tattoos is the closest you’re going to get to earthly paradise.” Morrison asks Punk to think about signing, after all he couldn’t last fifteen minutes with him last week. Punk says he’s right because he beat him before the fifteen minutes. What a stupid set-up bit to remind the audience about last week. Punk says he doesn’t fluff his wear like Farrah Fawcett or wear jackets in August, but he will be wearing the ECW Title after Summerslam. Armando stops them from coming to blows and gives them matches tonight with the ECW monsters. There was a lot happening here with Coach and Armando but the important thing is this:
We have enough plot for a dramatic video recap of last week! Punk won a Three Way Dance last week to get a shot at John Morrison tonight in a Fifteen Minutes Of Fame match. If he wins, he gets a shot at the title at Summerslam. Simples.
We’re in Youngstown, Ohio and THIS IS THE NEW SHIT is back in the intro, so we can have more Manson discussion. Despite enjoying his music, I’ve always been annoyed at him daring to put out Smells Like Children as a full-priced album (that I paid full-price money for) when it was three covers, three remixes and some shit. I don’t care if you recorded Portrait Of An American Family, I’m glad Dita Von Teese left you.
State of WWE right now:
We’re in Laredo, Texas and we still have the Manson intro that inspired so much discussion last week in the comments. Marcus Cor Von is still in the intro and Mechanical Animals was Manson at his best just for ”Yesterday I was a nihilist, today I’m just fucking bored.”
Backstage, a representative for Johnny Nitro declares this is the last time you’ll see Nitro on ECW. Tazz & Styles freak out because he’s the ECW Champ, he can’t leave. Unless you’re Lashley.
Another new intro, this time set to Marilyn Manson’s This Is The New Shit. Weird choice of song, not only was it four years old by this point and heavily censored (ARE YOU MOTHERblubblubs READY FOR THE NEW blubHIT?) but the themes of the song & album were about how everything had been done before and nothing was new (including Manson, who turned to shite after this) which is sending mixed messages for the brand with old ECW guys and the dudes Smackdown didn’t want. Manson’s a good metaphor for ECW, great in 1997 but damaged goods after 2001.