Wrestling Press

Hi Scott, we have another issue out! Would you mind plugging the following???


Former WWE Superstar Chris Masters speaks to The Wrestling Press
Former WWE Superstar Chris Masters has been speaking to free online magazine ‘The Wrestling Press’ about his recent release, the reasons behind his first departure with WWE and his experience of drugs in wrestling, plus various other subjects. Here’s what he had to say: On the subject of being released for the first time by WWE: “I really kind of brought it on myself and I accepted it. I was very young at the time and I was thrust into success at such a quick rate that I was irresponsible and I didn’t really appreciate the opportunities given.” On his experience of drugs in wrestling: “I was in Europe, Spain, working a tour and I looked in the mirror and it felt like I just reached a point where I thought enough of this. I had to get my life back on track, I had to get my health back on track and I wanted to be with WWE again. I looked back to the things I had lost in the last four years and it was like I just kept losing, losing and losing that eventually I wouldn’t have anything” On his recent release from WWE: “I was a million times better in my second run with the company; I was one of the better all-round guys in that place. You got a lot of guys who are really green and I am at the peak of my career. For me it’s a controversial release, they dropped the ball.” TWP#19 also includes interviews with TNA’s Jeremy Borash who talks about the company’s upcoming UK tour, and an interview with former WWE developmental star Rampage Brown, who talks about learning his craft at Florida Championship Wrestling. As well as many other original features, such as; Welcome back, Triple H – Does the Hell in a Cell gimmick still have legs? – Heels too cool, they become faces – Mike Bennett and his effect on ROH fans – I know wrestling’s great when… – The Rock at Survivor Series – and much, much more. You can read the flash version directly at http://tinyurl.com/5t6xflj OR download the PDF at http://tinyurl.com/5tkju5j

Wrestling Press

Hi Scott, we have another issue out! Would you mind plugging the following???


Former WWE Superstar Chris Masters speaks to The Wrestling Press
Former WWE Superstar Chris Masters has been speaking to free online magazine ‘The Wrestling Press’ about his recent release, the reasons behind his first departure with WWE and his experience of drugs in wrestling, plus various other subjects. Here’s what he had to say: On the subject of being released for the first time by WWE: “I really kind of brought it on myself and I accepted it. I was very young at the time and I was thrust into success at such a quick rate that I was irresponsible and I didn’t really appreciate the opportunities given.” On his experience of drugs in wrestling: “I was in Europe, Spain, working a tour and I looked in the mirror and it felt like I just reached a point where I thought enough of this. I had to get my life back on track, I had to get my health back on track and I wanted to be with WWE again. I looked back to the things I had lost in the last four years and it was like I just kept losing, losing and losing that eventually I wouldn’t have anything” On his recent release from WWE: “I was a million times better in my second run with the company; I was one of the better all-round guys in that place. You got a lot of guys who are really green and I am at the peak of my career. For me it’s a controversial release, they dropped the ball.” TWP#19 also includes interviews with TNA’s Jeremy Borash who talks about the company’s upcoming UK tour, and an interview with former WWE developmental star Rampage Brown, who talks about learning his craft at Florida Championship Wrestling. As well as many other original features, such as; Welcome back, Triple H – Does the Hell in a Cell gimmick still have legs? – Heels too cool, they become faces – Mike Bennett and his effect on ROH fans – I know wrestling’s great when… – The Rock at Survivor Series – and much, much more. You can read the flash version directly at http://tinyurl.com/5t6xflj OR download the PDF at http://tinyurl.com/5tkju5j

UFC Preview

He

y man! I did a preview for UFC on FOX 1: Velasquez vs. dos Santos.

http://www.ultimatesportstalk.com/ theultimatefightshow/2011/11/11/ufc-on-fox-1-velasquez-vs-dos-santos/

Also, if you could plug The Ultimate Fight Show, airing LIVE at Noon ET.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ theultimatefightshow/2011/11/12/the-ultimate-fight-show

We have a HUGE preview for the Heavyweight Title Fight, including interviews with Frank Shamrock, FrankTrigg, and Don Frye (you DO NOT WANT TO MISS THAT ONE!). Thanks for all the support!

Chris Bragg

The Ultimate Fight Show

UFC Preview

He

y man! I did a preview for UFC on FOX 1: Velasquez vs. dos Santos.

http://www.ultimatesportstalk.com/ theultimatefightshow/2011/11/11/ufc-on-fox-1-velasquez-vs-dos-santos/

Also, if you could plug The Ultimate Fight Show, airing LIVE at Noon ET.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ theultimatefightshow/2011/11/12/the-ultimate-fight-show

We have a HUGE preview for the Heavyweight Title Fight, including interviews with Frank Shamrock, FrankTrigg, and Don Frye (you DO NOT WANT TO MISS THAT ONE!). Thanks for all the support!

Chris Bragg

The Ultimate Fight Show

UFC Preview

He

y man! I did a preview for UFC on FOX 1: Velasquez vs. dos Santos.

http://www.ultimatesportstalk.com/ theultimatefightshow/2011/11/11/ufc-on-fox-1-velasquez-vs-dos-santos/

Also, if you could plug The Ultimate Fight Show, airing LIVE at Noon ET.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ theultimatefightshow/2011/11/12/the-ultimate-fight-show

We have a HUGE preview for the Heavyweight Title Fight, including interviews with Frank Shamrock, FrankTrigg, and Don Frye (you DO NOT WANT TO MISS THAT ONE!). Thanks for all the support!

Chris Bragg

The Ultimate Fight Show

2011 Scott sez…

Hey Scott,
I enjoyed your "future Scott" reactions to your Survivor Series
re-rants. But it got me to thinking about the reverse situation.
Specifically, if 2011 Scott could talk to 2010 Scott and tell him
that:
1. R-Truth would be main eventing against The Rock.
2. Mark Henry would become the most over heel on the roster.
3. Zack Ryder would be elevated to within spitting distance  of the
main event picture.
What do you suppose 2010 Scott’s reaction would be?

“The plane carrying all the talented people crashed into a mountain?”

2011 Scott sez…

Hey Scott,
I enjoyed your "future Scott" reactions to your Survivor Series
re-rants. But it got me to thinking about the reverse situation.
Specifically, if 2011 Scott could talk to 2010 Scott and tell him
that:
1. R-Truth would be main eventing against The Rock.
2. Mark Henry would become the most over heel on the roster.
3. Zack Ryder would be elevated to within spitting distance  of the
main event picture.
What do you suppose 2010 Scott’s reaction would be?

“The plane carrying all the talented people crashed into a mountain?”

2011 Scott sez…

Hey Scott,
I enjoyed your "future Scott" reactions to your Survivor Series
re-rants. But it got me to thinking about the reverse situation.
Specifically, if 2011 Scott could talk to 2010 Scott and tell him
that:
1. R-Truth would be main eventing against The Rock.
2. Mark Henry would become the most over heel on the roster.
3. Zack Ryder would be elevated to within spitting distance  of the
main event picture.
What do you suppose 2010 Scott’s reaction would be?

“The plane carrying all the talented people crashed into a mountain?”

Survivor Series Countdown: 1992

The Netcop Retro Rant for Survivor Series 1992

Live from Richfield, OH, where we started all those years ago.

Your hosts are Mr. McMahon and Bobby Heenan.

Opening match: The Headshrinkers v. High Energy (Koko B Ware & Owen Hart).

High Energy with double-teams to control initially, and then Koko gets in and you can guess what happens next. Total squash, and a long one at that. Hot tag to Owen who cleans house and gets a few moves in (probably as a token offering to Bret) before falling prey to the FLYING FAT-ASSED SAMOAN OF DOOM splash. ¼*

Sean Mooney offers a parental guidance warning because the nightstick match between Bossman and Nailz might be too violent. How come they didn’t do that before matches where one guy hurtles 20 feet off the top of a cage and then dumps a bag of tacks in the ring? You’d think that sort of match would deserve a warning. Go fig. Nailz isn’t bad on the mic, oddly enough.

Nailz v. Big Bossman, nightstick match. Kick, punch, kick, punch, Bossman gets the nightstick and does stuff, Nailz gets the nightstick and does stuff, Bossman slam out of nowhere, see ya. DUD.

AWESOME interview/recap segment that makes the Perfect Team v. Flair/Ramon match seem just that much more important. I’ll go over the recap myself later. Flair gives a breathtakingly great interview to set up the match.

Tatanka v. Rick Martel.

And back down the wrestling food chain we go. You see, the Model stole, uh, some feathers or something, yeah. This was pretty whatever. The-not-yet-named clown who would come to be called Doink wanders down to ringside and makes balloon animals to keep the kiddies from nodding off during all the chinlocks. Finally, T-t-t-tanka makes the “pissed off racial stereotype” comeback, chops Martel about a million times, and hits the Papoose-to-go (whatever happened to that Bobby Heenan guy, anyway?) for the pin. ½*

(2011 Scott sez:  Am I ever going to review any of the matches for this show?  Quit being a smarmy jackass, 1998 Scott, and just review the damn match!)

Hennig and Savage see if they can’t go Flair one better, delivering another awesome interview build. Savage plays D-Lo Brown, yelling “Yeah!” and “Right on!” at random intervals.

– Ric Flair & Razor Ramon v. Randy Savage & Curt Hennig. Heenan’s shameless ass-kissing is a thing of beauty. Okay, while I’m watching the ring intros, here’s the reason for this match: Ultimate Warrior and Randy Savage were feuding over the World title leading up to Summerslam, and the antagonist in the situation was Ric Flair, who had both guys convinced that the other was working for Flair, when in fact neither was. Warrior beat Savage by countout at Summerslam, and injured him enough that Flair was able to cash in on the situation and win the World title himself a few days later. So Savage & Warrior decided to team up and challenge Flair and his crony Razor Ramon, but Warrior f----- it up by leaving the WWF ten days before Survivor Series. So Savage decided to play mind games with Flair in retaliation, asking his manager Curt Hennig to be his new partner. Hennig actually accepted, causing Bobby Heenan to flip out and fire Hennig. So Hennig turned face and we had this match. Lots of posturing to start, and the crowd goes nuts when Flair gets in. Great sequence with Flair and Hennig early on. Ramon is worthless at this point and this match would have been spectacular without him in there to f--- it up. As it is, it’s only very good. Flair is hilarious on the apron as he struts back and forth, milking the crowd. Ramon gets Savage in a submission hold and Hennig walks. But then he changes his mind and comes back. Hot tag to Hennig, and the crowd is absolutely gonzo. Hennig destroys Ramon, and Earl Hebner gets bumped. Razor’s Edge is reversed to a backdrop and Hennig hooks the Perfectplex. Joey “As dead as Jerry Garcia but nearly as grateful” Marella runs in for a two count, then Hennig hooks Flair and Hebner wakes up for another two count. All hell breaks loose and the heels are DQ’s for double-teaming as Savage lies dead on the outside. Flair destroys Hennig until Savage makes the save with a chair, and this description doesn’t do the mind-blowing amounts of heat being drawn here justice. It was just incredible. Savage and Hennig start a mutual admiration society after the match. ***1/4

– Flair rants and tells Mean Gene to shut up numerous times.

– Yokozuna v. Virgil. Weighing in at a slim, trim, ripped, buff, cut, chiselled, hammered and JAAAAAAAAAACKED 505 pounds, Yoko was at least looking human at this point. Virgil was looking flattened and splattered in 19 different places about 5 minutes later, however. DUD.

– Sean Mooney interviews Savage and Hennig, and it’s TURKEYS FOR EVERYONE! Whoo-hoo!

– The Beverlys & Money Inc. v. The Nasty Boys & The Natural Disasters. Elimination rules. Blake (Mike Enos) gets creamed by the faces for quite a while. Dibiase looks way awesome in white. It becomes a heat segment on Sags. Of the bunch, he sucks the least, so that’s a good thing. The heels do manage to carry the match remarkably well, given the constraints of talent (Nasty Boys) and evolution (Typhoon). Hot tag to Earthquake and Beau gets sat on for the first pin. The Beverlys are eliminated. Heat segment on Earthquake, then hot tag to SHOCKMASTER, who luckily doesn’t trip on the way in. Poor guy will never that down but it’s Fred Ottman so who gives a s---. Typhoon tosses Dibiase and wipes out IRS, but that sneaky Ted hooks the leg from his position on his ass on the floor and IRS gets a cheap pin to eliminate the Disasters. He stands up to celebrate and Sags rolls him up for the fast pin to win the match. Que? I thought the point was to build the Nasty Boys – Money Inc. issue. Well, whatever, it was actually quite watchable up to the goofy ending. **

– Virgil gives a dire warning: Yokozuna is a menace not just to the WWF, but to society in general. He warns Bret Hart to beware. Hmm, he missed his calling as a bootlick—he should have been a booker…

– Casket match: The Undertaker v. Kamala. Ah, how UT must yearn for the simpler days of yore, when the worst he had to worry about was a fat cannibal and the occasional voodoo master. Kamala is terrified of the Undertaker, as if you couldn’t tell from his horrible over-acting. Blah blah blah, Kamala with three FAT CANNIBAL SPLASHES OF DEATH but UT does the zombie situp, whacks him with the urn and rolls him into the casket. Call it, oh, -**. UT nails the coffin shut for good measure.

– Sean Mooney with the SHOW STOPPER, THE SCENE STEALER, THE MAIN EVENT, THE ICON, THE HEARTBREAK KID, Shawn Michaels! Okay, none of those nicknames actually applied in 1992, but he was the Intercontinental champion. He gives a lousy interview, proving that he wasn’t a god…yet.

– WWF World title match: Bret Hart v. Shawn Michaels. Slow start. Shawn and Bret have a little side-bet or something where the winner is the person who can melodramatically sell the weakest move with the most pained expression on his face. Not a criticism, mind you. Bret works on the arm. Shawn comes back, but keeps it mat-based. Oodles of psychology here. Shawn misses a charge and Bret misses the elbow. Shawn retakes control but it’s the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM! And of course Shawn gets crotched on the top rope, because otherwise it’d be like Christmas without Xanta Claus. Weak ref bump leads to nada. Odd moment: At the point where Bret is weakened and Shawn would normally “cue up the band”, he kind of meanders around a bit, as if looking for something to do, because he doesn’t start doing that for another 3 years. But he seems to know that there’s something he should be doing there, ya know? Anyway, they trade some normal sequences and then BANG! out of nowhere, the superkick. Bret is out but since the lame-o teardrop suplex is Shawn’s finisher, he tries that instead. Bret blocks but Shawn hits on the second try, but only gets two. Shawn to the top rope, Bret catches him coming off, Sharpshooter, see ya. Excellent match. ****1/4

The Bottom Line:

1992 was the transition year from Hulkamania to “maybe this wrestling stuff can work on top after all”. Yokozuna spent a year or so dragging down the main event further, but by 1994 Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels ruled the upper card and the workers didn’t get knocked off until 1995.  Survivor Series and to a lesser extent Summerslam showed that a so-so undercard with a kick-ass main event could produce good results without The Orangle Goblin or the Babbling Maniac.

A pretty good card overall, by pre-Clique standards.  Mildly recommended card, if only for the tag match and the main event.

 

Survivor Series Countdown: 1992

The Netcop Retro Rant for Survivor Series 1992

Live from Richfield, OH, where we started all those years ago.

Your hosts are Mr. McMahon and Bobby Heenan.

Opening match: The Headshrinkers v. High Energy (Koko B Ware & Owen Hart).

High Energy with double-teams to control initially, and then Koko gets in and you can guess what happens next. Total squash, and a long one at that. Hot tag to Owen who cleans house and gets a few moves in (probably as a token offering to Bret) before falling prey to the FLYING FAT-ASSED SAMOAN OF DOOM splash. ¼*

Sean Mooney offers a parental guidance warning because the nightstick match between Bossman and Nailz might be too violent. How come they didn’t do that before matches where one guy hurtles 20 feet off the top of a cage and then dumps a bag of tacks in the ring? You’d think that sort of match would deserve a warning. Go fig. Nailz isn’t bad on the mic, oddly enough.

Nailz v. Big Bossman, nightstick match. Kick, punch, kick, punch, Bossman gets the nightstick and does stuff, Nailz gets the nightstick and does stuff, Bossman slam out of nowhere, see ya. DUD.

AWESOME interview/recap segment that makes the Perfect Team v. Flair/Ramon match seem just that much more important. I’ll go over the recap myself later. Flair gives a breathtakingly great interview to set up the match.

Tatanka v. Rick Martel.

And back down the wrestling food chain we go. You see, the Model stole, uh, some feathers or something, yeah. This was pretty whatever. The-not-yet-named clown who would come to be called Doink wanders down to ringside and makes balloon animals to keep the kiddies from nodding off during all the chinlocks. Finally, T-t-t-tanka makes the “pissed off racial stereotype” comeback, chops Martel about a million times, and hits the Papoose-to-go (whatever happened to that Bobby Heenan guy, anyway?) for the pin. ½*

(2011 Scott sez:  Am I ever going to review any of the matches for this show?  Quit being a smarmy jackass, 1998 Scott, and just review the damn match!)

Hennig and Savage see if they can’t go Flair one better, delivering another awesome interview build. Savage plays D-Lo Brown, yelling “Yeah!” and “Right on!” at random intervals.

– Ric Flair & Razor Ramon v. Randy Savage & Curt Hennig. Heenan’s shameless ass-kissing is a thing of beauty. Okay, while I’m watching the ring intros, here’s the reason for this match: Ultimate Warrior and Randy Savage were feuding over the World title leading up to Summerslam, and the antagonist in the situation was Ric Flair, who had both guys convinced that the other was working for Flair, when in fact neither was. Warrior beat Savage by countout at Summerslam, and injured him enough that Flair was able to cash in on the situation and win the World title himself a few days later. So Savage & Warrior decided to team up and challenge Flair and his crony Razor Ramon, but Warrior f----- it up by leaving the WWF ten days before Survivor Series. So Savage decided to play mind games with Flair in retaliation, asking his manager Curt Hennig to be his new partner. Hennig actually accepted, causing Bobby Heenan to flip out and fire Hennig. So Hennig turned face and we had this match. Lots of posturing to start, and the crowd goes nuts when Flair gets in. Great sequence with Flair and Hennig early on. Ramon is worthless at this point and this match would have been spectacular without him in there to f--- it up. As it is, it’s only very good. Flair is hilarious on the apron as he struts back and forth, milking the crowd. Ramon gets Savage in a submission hold and Hennig walks. But then he changes his mind and comes back. Hot tag to Hennig, and the crowd is absolutely gonzo. Hennig destroys Ramon, and Earl Hebner gets bumped. Razor’s Edge is reversed to a backdrop and Hennig hooks the Perfectplex. Joey “As dead as Jerry Garcia but nearly as grateful” Marella runs in for a two count, then Hennig hooks Flair and Hebner wakes up for another two count. All hell breaks loose and the heels are DQ’s for double-teaming as Savage lies dead on the outside. Flair destroys Hennig until Savage makes the save with a chair, and this description doesn’t do the mind-blowing amounts of heat being drawn here justice. It was just incredible. Savage and Hennig start a mutual admiration society after the match. ***1/4

– Flair rants and tells Mean Gene to shut up numerous times.

– Yokozuna v. Virgil. Weighing in at a slim, trim, ripped, buff, cut, chiselled, hammered and JAAAAAAAAAACKED 505 pounds, Yoko was at least looking human at this point. Virgil was looking flattened and splattered in 19 different places about 5 minutes later, however. DUD.

– Sean Mooney interviews Savage and Hennig, and it’s TURKEYS FOR EVERYONE! Whoo-hoo!

– The Beverlys & Money Inc. v. The Nasty Boys & The Natural Disasters. Elimination rules. Blake (Mike Enos) gets creamed by the faces for quite a while. Dibiase looks way awesome in white. It becomes a heat segment on Sags. Of the bunch, he sucks the least, so that’s a good thing. The heels do manage to carry the match remarkably well, given the constraints of talent (Nasty Boys) and evolution (Typhoon). Hot tag to Earthquake and Beau gets sat on for the first pin. The Beverlys are eliminated. Heat segment on Earthquake, then hot tag to SHOCKMASTER, who luckily doesn’t trip on the way in. Poor guy will never that down but it’s Fred Ottman so who gives a s---. Typhoon tosses Dibiase and wipes out IRS, but that sneaky Ted hooks the leg from his position on his ass on the floor and IRS gets a cheap pin to eliminate the Disasters. He stands up to celebrate and Sags rolls him up for the fast pin to win the match. Que? I thought the point was to build the Nasty Boys – Money Inc. issue. Well, whatever, it was actually quite watchable up to the goofy ending. **

– Virgil gives a dire warning: Yokozuna is a menace not just to the WWF, but to society in general. He warns Bret Hart to beware. Hmm, he missed his calling as a bootlick—he should have been a booker…

– Casket match: The Undertaker v. Kamala. Ah, how UT must yearn for the simpler days of yore, when the worst he had to worry about was a fat cannibal and the occasional voodoo master. Kamala is terrified of the Undertaker, as if you couldn’t tell from his horrible over-acting. Blah blah blah, Kamala with three FAT CANNIBAL SPLASHES OF DEATH but UT does the zombie situp, whacks him with the urn and rolls him into the casket. Call it, oh, -**. UT nails the coffin shut for good measure.

– Sean Mooney with the SHOW STOPPER, THE SCENE STEALER, THE MAIN EVENT, THE ICON, THE HEARTBREAK KID, Shawn Michaels! Okay, none of those nicknames actually applied in 1992, but he was the Intercontinental champion. He gives a lousy interview, proving that he wasn’t a god…yet.

– WWF World title match: Bret Hart v. Shawn Michaels. Slow start. Shawn and Bret have a little side-bet or something where the winner is the person who can melodramatically sell the weakest move with the most pained expression on his face. Not a criticism, mind you. Bret works on the arm. Shawn comes back, but keeps it mat-based. Oodles of psychology here. Shawn misses a charge and Bret misses the elbow. Shawn retakes control but it’s the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM! And of course Shawn gets crotched on the top rope, because otherwise it’d be like Christmas without Xanta Claus. Weak ref bump leads to nada. Odd moment: At the point where Bret is weakened and Shawn would normally “cue up the band”, he kind of meanders around a bit, as if looking for something to do, because he doesn’t start doing that for another 3 years. But he seems to know that there’s something he should be doing there, ya know? Anyway, they trade some normal sequences and then BANG! out of nowhere, the superkick. Bret is out but since the lame-o teardrop suplex is Shawn’s finisher, he tries that instead. Bret blocks but Shawn hits on the second try, but only gets two. Shawn to the top rope, Bret catches him coming off, Sharpshooter, see ya. Excellent match. ****1/4

The Bottom Line:

1992 was the transition year from Hulkamania to “maybe this wrestling stuff can work on top after all”. Yokozuna spent a year or so dragging down the main event further, but by 1994 Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels ruled the upper card and the workers didn’t get knocked off until 1995.  Survivor Series and to a lesser extent Summerslam showed that a so-so undercard with a kick-ass main event could produce good results without The Orangle Goblin or the Babbling Maniac.

A pretty good card overall, by pre-Clique standards.  Mildly recommended card, if only for the tag match and the main event.

 

Survivor Series Countdown: 1992

The Netcop Retro Rant for Survivor Series 1992

Live from Richfield, OH, where we started all those years ago.

Your hosts are Mr. McMahon and Bobby Heenan.

Opening match: The Headshrinkers v. High Energy (Koko B Ware & Owen Hart).

High Energy with double-teams to control initially, and then Koko gets in and you can guess what happens next. Total squash, and a long one at that. Hot tag to Owen who cleans house and gets a few moves in (probably as a token offering to Bret) before falling prey to the FLYING FAT-ASSED SAMOAN OF DOOM splash. ¼*

Sean Mooney offers a parental guidance warning because the nightstick match between Bossman and Nailz might be too violent. How come they didn’t do that before matches where one guy hurtles 20 feet off the top of a cage and then dumps a bag of tacks in the ring? You’d think that sort of match would deserve a warning. Go fig. Nailz isn’t bad on the mic, oddly enough.

Nailz v. Big Bossman, nightstick match. Kick, punch, kick, punch, Bossman gets the nightstick and does stuff, Nailz gets the nightstick and does stuff, Bossman slam out of nowhere, see ya. DUD.

AWESOME interview/recap segment that makes the Perfect Team v. Flair/Ramon match seem just that much more important. I’ll go over the recap myself later. Flair gives a breathtakingly great interview to set up the match.

Tatanka v. Rick Martel.

And back down the wrestling food chain we go. You see, the Model stole, uh, some feathers or something, yeah. This was pretty whatever. The-not-yet-named clown who would come to be called Doink wanders down to ringside and makes balloon animals to keep the kiddies from nodding off during all the chinlocks. Finally, T-t-t-tanka makes the “pissed off racial stereotype” comeback, chops Martel about a million times, and hits the Papoose-to-go (whatever happened to that Bobby Heenan guy, anyway?) for the pin. ½*

(2011 Scott sez:  Am I ever going to review any of the matches for this show?  Quit being a smarmy jackass, 1998 Scott, and just review the damn match!)

Hennig and Savage see if they can’t go Flair one better, delivering another awesome interview build. Savage plays D-Lo Brown, yelling “Yeah!” and “Right on!” at random intervals.

– Ric Flair & Razor Ramon v. Randy Savage & Curt Hennig. Heenan’s shameless ass-kissing is a thing of beauty. Okay, while I’m watching the ring intros, here’s the reason for this match: Ultimate Warrior and Randy Savage were feuding over the World title leading up to Summerslam, and the antagonist in the situation was Ric Flair, who had both guys convinced that the other was working for Flair, when in fact neither was. Warrior beat Savage by countout at Summerslam, and injured him enough that Flair was able to cash in on the situation and win the World title himself a few days later. So Savage & Warrior decided to team up and challenge Flair and his crony Razor Ramon, but Warrior f----- it up by leaving the WWF ten days before Survivor Series. So Savage decided to play mind games with Flair in retaliation, asking his manager Curt Hennig to be his new partner. Hennig actually accepted, causing Bobby Heenan to flip out and fire Hennig. So Hennig turned face and we had this match. Lots of posturing to start, and the crowd goes nuts when Flair gets in. Great sequence with Flair and Hennig early on. Ramon is worthless at this point and this match would have been spectacular without him in there to f--- it up. As it is, it’s only very good. Flair is hilarious on the apron as he struts back and forth, milking the crowd. Ramon gets Savage in a submission hold and Hennig walks. But then he changes his mind and comes back. Hot tag to Hennig, and the crowd is absolutely gonzo. Hennig destroys Ramon, and Earl Hebner gets bumped. Razor’s Edge is reversed to a backdrop and Hennig hooks the Perfectplex. Joey “As dead as Jerry Garcia but nearly as grateful” Marella runs in for a two count, then Hennig hooks Flair and Hebner wakes up for another two count. All hell breaks loose and the heels are DQ’s for double-teaming as Savage lies dead on the outside. Flair destroys Hennig until Savage makes the save with a chair, and this description doesn’t do the mind-blowing amounts of heat being drawn here justice. It was just incredible. Savage and Hennig start a mutual admiration society after the match. ***1/4

– Flair rants and tells Mean Gene to shut up numerous times.

– Yokozuna v. Virgil. Weighing in at a slim, trim, ripped, buff, cut, chiselled, hammered and JAAAAAAAAAACKED 505 pounds, Yoko was at least looking human at this point. Virgil was looking flattened and splattered in 19 different places about 5 minutes later, however. DUD.

– Sean Mooney interviews Savage and Hennig, and it’s TURKEYS FOR EVERYONE! Whoo-hoo!

– The Beverlys & Money Inc. v. The Nasty Boys & The Natural Disasters. Elimination rules. Blake (Mike Enos) gets creamed by the faces for quite a while. Dibiase looks way awesome in white. It becomes a heat segment on Sags. Of the bunch, he sucks the least, so that’s a good thing. The heels do manage to carry the match remarkably well, given the constraints of talent (Nasty Boys) and evolution (Typhoon). Hot tag to Earthquake and Beau gets sat on for the first pin. The Beverlys are eliminated. Heat segment on Earthquake, then hot tag to SHOCKMASTER, who luckily doesn’t trip on the way in. Poor guy will never that down but it’s Fred Ottman so who gives a s---. Typhoon tosses Dibiase and wipes out IRS, but that sneaky Ted hooks the leg from his position on his ass on the floor and IRS gets a cheap pin to eliminate the Disasters. He stands up to celebrate and Sags rolls him up for the fast pin to win the match. Que? I thought the point was to build the Nasty Boys – Money Inc. issue. Well, whatever, it was actually quite watchable up to the goofy ending. **

– Virgil gives a dire warning: Yokozuna is a menace not just to the WWF, but to society in general. He warns Bret Hart to beware. Hmm, he missed his calling as a bootlick—he should have been a booker…

– Casket match: The Undertaker v. Kamala. Ah, how UT must yearn for the simpler days of yore, when the worst he had to worry about was a fat cannibal and the occasional voodoo master. Kamala is terrified of the Undertaker, as if you couldn’t tell from his horrible over-acting. Blah blah blah, Kamala with three FAT CANNIBAL SPLASHES OF DEATH but UT does the zombie situp, whacks him with the urn and rolls him into the casket. Call it, oh, -**. UT nails the coffin shut for good measure.

– Sean Mooney with the SHOW STOPPER, THE SCENE STEALER, THE MAIN EVENT, THE ICON, THE HEARTBREAK KID, Shawn Michaels! Okay, none of those nicknames actually applied in 1992, but he was the Intercontinental champion. He gives a lousy interview, proving that he wasn’t a god…yet.

– WWF World title match: Bret Hart v. Shawn Michaels. Slow start. Shawn and Bret have a little side-bet or something where the winner is the person who can melodramatically sell the weakest move with the most pained expression on his face. Not a criticism, mind you. Bret works on the arm. Shawn comes back, but keeps it mat-based. Oodles of psychology here. Shawn misses a charge and Bret misses the elbow. Shawn retakes control but it’s the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM! And of course Shawn gets crotched on the top rope, because otherwise it’d be like Christmas without Xanta Claus. Weak ref bump leads to nada. Odd moment: At the point where Bret is weakened and Shawn would normally “cue up the band”, he kind of meanders around a bit, as if looking for something to do, because he doesn’t start doing that for another 3 years. But he seems to know that there’s something he should be doing there, ya know? Anyway, they trade some normal sequences and then BANG! out of nowhere, the superkick. Bret is out but since the lame-o teardrop suplex is Shawn’s finisher, he tries that instead. Bret blocks but Shawn hits on the second try, but only gets two. Shawn to the top rope, Bret catches him coming off, Sharpshooter, see ya. Excellent match. ****1/4

The Bottom Line:

1992 was the transition year from Hulkamania to “maybe this wrestling stuff can work on top after all”. Yokozuna spent a year or so dragging down the main event further, but by 1994 Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels ruled the upper card and the workers didn’t get knocked off until 1995.  Survivor Series and to a lesser extent Summerslam showed that a so-so undercard with a kick-ass main event could produce good results without The Orangle Goblin or the Babbling Maniac.

A pretty good card overall, by pre-Clique standards.  Mildly recommended card, if only for the tag match and the main event.

 

Survivor Series Countdown: 1991

The Netcop Rant for Survivor Series 1991.

Live from Detroit, MI.

Your hosts are Gorilla & The Weasel.

Opening match:  Ted Dibiase, The Mountie, The Warlord & Ric Flair v. Bret Hart, Roddy Piper, The British Bulldog & Virgil.

Flair’s video-distorted belt of choice tonight is the WWF tag title.  Dibiase has his Million $ Belt back, after he and Repo Man beat the Miracle Jobber Connection (Virgil & Santana) on a countdown show leading up to this PPV.  I should point out that the STR (Suck-To-Rule) Ratio for the team members here is .750, which is pretty amazing.  Piper & Dibiase go first and tear it up, to enormous heat.  Wow, hot crowd.  Dibiase and Bret go next, and here is where the famous “Reverse, charge” spot call occurs.  There was also one in the 90 show, but it wasn’t nearly as loud or obvious as this one.  My bad.  Anyway, great sequence follows, then Bret & Flair go at it.  Flair ends up getting beat down by everyone, and then Piper MURDERS him.  Flair bails and brings in the Warlord.  Mountie gets destroyed next, and Bulldog is about to finish him, when Flair hits a cheapshot from the top rope and pins him.  Piper commences kicking ass, but gets quadruple-teamed.  He manages to escape a Boston Crab by tagging Virgil.  We get the inevitable Virgil-Dibiase showdown, and it ends badly for Virgil…in a Warlord full-nelson.  However, Bret repays Flair’s earlier cheating by hitting his own shot from behind, and Piper pins Warlord.  Good booking there.  Virgil gets the Dream on Dibiase, but he escapes.  Heels work Virgil over for a while as Heenan plays armchair quarterback and nearly cracks Monsoon up on a few occasions.  Piper gets the hot tag, and shrugs off Flair’s offense.  Big brawl erupts, with Flair doing the Flip to the floor, and the ref DQ’s everyone…who was in the ring.  Oops, that leaves Flair, who is thus the Survivor.  Great match, bad ending.  ***1/2

Randy Savage cuts a promo.  It’s This Tuesday in Texas, ya know.  Order now.

 Col. Mustafa, The Berzerker, Skinner & Hercules v. Texas Tornado, Tito Santana, Hacksaw Duggan & Sgt. Slaughter.

I never bought Slaughter’s face turn, and neither did the fans.  And it’s time to play my favorite game again!  Let’s see…jobber, jobber, jobber, jobber, suicidal drug addict, jobber, jobber, traitor.  Close call, but I’ll have to say that the heels have the advantage because none of them are liable to kill themselves mid-match.  And while I’m ranting, is this like the biggest collection of loser gimmicks in the history of wrestling or what?  It’s like the bottom of the Pat Patterson Idea Barrel or something.  Skinner takes a quick flying jalapeno and bails, and a stall session results.  Oh, man, it’s gonna be one of THOSE matches, I can just feel it.  The match drags on, and it’s like watching Heroes of Wrestling all over again.  Mustafa loads up the POINTY-TOED BOOT OF DEATH and gets two on Duggan, and then Slaughter comes in and hits a clothesline on him for the pin.  Berzerker bumps around a bit for Duggan.  Santana hits El Pace With Extra Picante on Hercules and gets rid of him.  Slaughter gets a blind tag and cradles Skinner for the pin.  Duggan finishes Berzerker with the three-point stance to put me (and the crowd) out of our misery at 14:15.  This was well and truly awful, but at least it was reasonably quick.  -*

 Jake Roberts offers his rebuttal to Randy Savage.  The hidden message:  Sure, we know you’ve just blown $30 on THIS crappy PPV, but since you’re in a spending mood, why not blow ANOTHER $20 on ANOTHER crappy PPV?  (2011 Scott sez:  Nowadays we’d kill for a $30 PPV and be like “Only $20 for the followup next week?  I’m in!”)

 WWF title match:  Hulk Hogan v. The Undertaker.

Taker was “undefeated” at this point, which translated from WWF-ese means that the Ultimate Warrior’s victories over him were erased from history.  UT no-sells Hogan’s initial offense and runs through some of his stuff, then Hogan starts no-selling, but Undertaker no-sells that no-selling.  UT wins that particular war of wills and chokes Hogan out with a cable.  UT methodically chokes him down with a face claw, giving Gorilla a chance to run through some of his usual cliches about fans on the edge of their seats and such.  After a LONG resthold, UT hits the flying clothesline and tombstone, which Hogan of course no-sells.  Hulk gets the dramatic bodyslam, and HEEEEEEEEEERE’S Flair.  He tries the steal the title belt, but Hogan stops him and then goes back to hit the big boot on Undertaker.  Legdrop, but Paul Bearer grabs Hogan’s leg.  The ref goes to deal with *him*, and that allows Flair the chance to toss a chair in the ring, which Undertaker tombstones Hulk on, and we have a new champion.  Hey, is that a FACE pop I hear for Undertaker?  Nah, couldn’t be, Hogan made the business and drew all the money from 1984 on, right?  Match was an abortion, of course.  DUD

Interview-O-Rama kills some time.

The Beverly Brothers & The Nasty Boys v. The Rockers & The Bushwhackers. 

Strangely, the Rockers were probably at the height of their popularity and credibility at this point, just before they self-destructed.  Bushwhackers control the flow to start and clear the ring.  Knobbs hits a quick clothesline on Luke, however, and pins him.  The Rockers double-team Sags for a bit, and then a painfully boring sequence with Marty playing cokehead-in-peril follows.  Butch gets the hot tag, but falls victim to the Beverly Bounce about 3 seconds later and is gone.  Marty pulls out a rana for two on Beau.  Shawn comes in and gets beat up.  Crowd is just gone.  Shawn catches Beau with a backslide and pins him.  Gorilla starts reading heelishness into Marty’s actions, then later Shawn’s.  See, at that point the WWF was still undecided about which Rocker would get the sacred heel push.  In my opinion, it wouldn’t have mattered either way, because Shawn didn’t truly get over until 1994 anyway and by then Marty had long since become a pathetic shell of his former self.  But I digress.  Shawn hits a running clothesline off the apron on Sags, then reluctantly tags in Marty, who is a house of fire for 3 seconds before getting pounded again.  The announcers fill downtime by talking about…you guessed it….THIS TUESDAY IN TEXAS.  And man, there’s a LOT of downtime to fill here.  Pier-six brawl erupts, and Marty slams Sags, who ends up kicking Shawn in the face on the way down.  Knobbs quickly cradles the stunned Michaels and pins him.  This prompts Shawn to tease a heel turn, but he just leaves.  So it’s Marty 3-on-1.  Massive heel beatdown is punctuated by a couple of highspots from Jannetty, but in the end Knobbs rolls Jannetty over as he’s small-packaging Sags, and the heels get the win at 23:04.  Yes, they actually gave this  half an hour with entrances, I’m just as shocked as you.  3/4* for a couple of highspots.  Survivors:  Blake Beverly, Jerry Sags, Brian Knobbs, and ME, for staying awake through it all.

 The Natural Disasters & IRS v. Big Bossman & The Legion of Doom.

Interesting thing I heard on the Meltzer radio show:  IRS was dreamed up by Vince McMahon as a shot at the real IRS, who audited him the year before.  I dunno why this is just a six-man, but it’s still elimination rules.  (2011 Scott sez:  Because Randy Savage got bit by a snake, duh!) LOD dominates Typhoon in sloppy fashion.  Bossman gets bopped with the briefcase and pinned by IRS.  Animal takes some big fat punishment.  Man, this is too exciting for words.  Hawk gets the hot tag.  They try the briefcase trick again, but the same trick can’t work twice according to the rules of wrestling, so it misses and Typhoon takes it instead, and gets pinned.  Earthquake bitches at IRS about that miscue, and ends up walking out with Typhoon, leaving IRS 2-on-1 against the tag champs.  RIP, IRS.  (2011 Scott sez:  Actually, RIP Earthquake, Big Bossman and Hawk.  These are some depressing percentages of dead wrestlers.)  Animal gets the pin after the usual at 15:21.  Survivors:  The Legion of Doom.  1/2*

Hulk Hogan and Undertaker offer their final thoughts and hype THIS TUESDAY IN TEXAS.

The Bottom Line:

Well, the first match was great, and Hulk Hogan jobbed, which is always good for a laugh, but the rest is strictly sadomasochist territory.  Perhaps Vince knew that too, because in 92 he scrapped the tag match format entirely for a year, and gave us a pretty awesome main event to boot.

But that’s another rant.  Anyway, this show is definitely not recommended.

 

Survivor Series Countdown: 1991

The Netcop Rant for Survivor Series 1991.

Live from Detroit, MI.

Your hosts are Gorilla & The Weasel.

Opening match:  Ted Dibiase, The Mountie, The Warlord & Ric Flair v. Bret Hart, Roddy Piper, The British Bulldog & Virgil.

Flair’s video-distorted belt of choice tonight is the WWF tag title.  Dibiase has his Million $ Belt back, after he and Repo Man beat the Miracle Jobber Connection (Virgil & Santana) on a countdown show leading up to this PPV.  I should point out that the STR (Suck-To-Rule) Ratio for the team members here is .750, which is pretty amazing.  Piper & Dibiase go first and tear it up, to enormous heat.  Wow, hot crowd.  Dibiase and Bret go next, and here is where the famous “Reverse, charge” spot call occurs.  There was also one in the 90 show, but it wasn’t nearly as loud or obvious as this one.  My bad.  Anyway, great sequence follows, then Bret & Flair go at it.  Flair ends up getting beat down by everyone, and then Piper MURDERS him.  Flair bails and brings in the Warlord.  Mountie gets destroyed next, and Bulldog is about to finish him, when Flair hits a cheapshot from the top rope and pins him.  Piper commences kicking ass, but gets quadruple-teamed.  He manages to escape a Boston Crab by tagging Virgil.  We get the inevitable Virgil-Dibiase showdown, and it ends badly for Virgil…in a Warlord full-nelson.  However, Bret repays Flair’s earlier cheating by hitting his own shot from behind, and Piper pins Warlord.  Good booking there.  Virgil gets the Dream on Dibiase, but he escapes.  Heels work Virgil over for a while as Heenan plays armchair quarterback and nearly cracks Monsoon up on a few occasions.  Piper gets the hot tag, and shrugs off Flair’s offense.  Big brawl erupts, with Flair doing the Flip to the floor, and the ref DQ’s everyone…who was in the ring.  Oops, that leaves Flair, who is thus the Survivor.  Great match, bad ending.  ***1/2

Randy Savage cuts a promo.  It’s This Tuesday in Texas, ya know.  Order now.

 Col. Mustafa, The Berzerker, Skinner & Hercules v. Texas Tornado, Tito Santana, Hacksaw Duggan & Sgt. Slaughter.

I never bought Slaughter’s face turn, and neither did the fans.  And it’s time to play my favorite game again!  Let’s see…jobber, jobber, jobber, jobber, suicidal drug addict, jobber, jobber, traitor.  Close call, but I’ll have to say that the heels have the advantage because none of them are liable to kill themselves mid-match.  And while I’m ranting, is this like the biggest collection of loser gimmicks in the history of wrestling or what?  It’s like the bottom of the Pat Patterson Idea Barrel or something.  Skinner takes a quick flying jalapeno and bails, and a stall session results.  Oh, man, it’s gonna be one of THOSE matches, I can just feel it.  The match drags on, and it’s like watching Heroes of Wrestling all over again.  Mustafa loads up the POINTY-TOED BOOT OF DEATH and gets two on Duggan, and then Slaughter comes in and hits a clothesline on him for the pin.  Berzerker bumps around a bit for Duggan.  Santana hits El Pace With Extra Picante on Hercules and gets rid of him.  Slaughter gets a blind tag and cradles Skinner for the pin.  Duggan finishes Berzerker with the three-point stance to put me (and the crowd) out of our misery at 14:15.  This was well and truly awful, but at least it was reasonably quick.  -*

 Jake Roberts offers his rebuttal to Randy Savage.  The hidden message:  Sure, we know you’ve just blown $30 on THIS crappy PPV, but since you’re in a spending mood, why not blow ANOTHER $20 on ANOTHER crappy PPV?  (2011 Scott sez:  Nowadays we’d kill for a $30 PPV and be like “Only $20 for the followup next week?  I’m in!”)

 WWF title match:  Hulk Hogan v. The Undertaker.

Taker was “undefeated” at this point, which translated from WWF-ese means that the Ultimate Warrior’s victories over him were erased from history.  UT no-sells Hogan’s initial offense and runs through some of his stuff, then Hogan starts no-selling, but Undertaker no-sells that no-selling.  UT wins that particular war of wills and chokes Hogan out with a cable.  UT methodically chokes him down with a face claw, giving Gorilla a chance to run through some of his usual cliches about fans on the edge of their seats and such.  After a LONG resthold, UT hits the flying clothesline and tombstone, which Hogan of course no-sells.  Hulk gets the dramatic bodyslam, and HEEEEEEEEEERE’S Flair.  He tries the steal the title belt, but Hogan stops him and then goes back to hit the big boot on Undertaker.  Legdrop, but Paul Bearer grabs Hogan’s leg.  The ref goes to deal with *him*, and that allows Flair the chance to toss a chair in the ring, which Undertaker tombstones Hulk on, and we have a new champion.  Hey, is that a FACE pop I hear for Undertaker?  Nah, couldn’t be, Hogan made the business and drew all the money from 1984 on, right?  Match was an abortion, of course.  DUD

Interview-O-Rama kills some time.

The Beverly Brothers & The Nasty Boys v. The Rockers & The Bushwhackers. 

Strangely, the Rockers were probably at the height of their popularity and credibility at this point, just before they self-destructed.  Bushwhackers control the flow to start and clear the ring.  Knobbs hits a quick clothesline on Luke, however, and pins him.  The Rockers double-team Sags for a bit, and then a painfully boring sequence with Marty playing cokehead-in-peril follows.  Butch gets the hot tag, but falls victim to the Beverly Bounce about 3 seconds later and is gone.  Marty pulls out a rana for two on Beau.  Shawn comes in and gets beat up.  Crowd is just gone.  Shawn catches Beau with a backslide and pins him.  Gorilla starts reading heelishness into Marty’s actions, then later Shawn’s.  See, at that point the WWF was still undecided about which Rocker would get the sacred heel push.  In my opinion, it wouldn’t have mattered either way, because Shawn didn’t truly get over until 1994 anyway and by then Marty had long since become a pathetic shell of his former self.  But I digress.  Shawn hits a running clothesline off the apron on Sags, then reluctantly tags in Marty, who is a house of fire for 3 seconds before getting pounded again.  The announcers fill downtime by talking about…you guessed it….THIS TUESDAY IN TEXAS.  And man, there’s a LOT of downtime to fill here.  Pier-six brawl erupts, and Marty slams Sags, who ends up kicking Shawn in the face on the way down.  Knobbs quickly cradles the stunned Michaels and pins him.  This prompts Shawn to tease a heel turn, but he just leaves.  So it’s Marty 3-on-1.  Massive heel beatdown is punctuated by a couple of highspots from Jannetty, but in the end Knobbs rolls Jannetty over as he’s small-packaging Sags, and the heels get the win at 23:04.  Yes, they actually gave this  half an hour with entrances, I’m just as shocked as you.  3/4* for a couple of highspots.  Survivors:  Blake Beverly, Jerry Sags, Brian Knobbs, and ME, for staying awake through it all.

 The Natural Disasters & IRS v. Big Bossman & The Legion of Doom.

Interesting thing I heard on the Meltzer radio show:  IRS was dreamed up by Vince McMahon as a shot at the real IRS, who audited him the year before.  I dunno why this is just a six-man, but it’s still elimination rules.  (2011 Scott sez:  Because Randy Savage got bit by a snake, duh!) LOD dominates Typhoon in sloppy fashion.  Bossman gets bopped with the briefcase and pinned by IRS.  Animal takes some big fat punishment.  Man, this is too exciting for words.  Hawk gets the hot tag.  They try the briefcase trick again, but the same trick can’t work twice according to the rules of wrestling, so it misses and Typhoon takes it instead, and gets pinned.  Earthquake bitches at IRS about that miscue, and ends up walking out with Typhoon, leaving IRS 2-on-1 against the tag champs.  RIP, IRS.  (2011 Scott sez:  Actually, RIP Earthquake, Big Bossman and Hawk.  These are some depressing percentages of dead wrestlers.)  Animal gets the pin after the usual at 15:21.  Survivors:  The Legion of Doom.  1/2*

Hulk Hogan and Undertaker offer their final thoughts and hype THIS TUESDAY IN TEXAS.

The Bottom Line:

Well, the first match was great, and Hulk Hogan jobbed, which is always good for a laugh, but the rest is strictly sadomasochist territory.  Perhaps Vince knew that too, because in 92 he scrapped the tag match format entirely for a year, and gave us a pretty awesome main event to boot.

But that’s another rant.  Anyway, this show is definitely not recommended.

 

Survivor Series Countdown: 1991

The Netcop Rant for Survivor Series 1991.

Live from Detroit, MI.

Your hosts are Gorilla & The Weasel.

Opening match:  Ted Dibiase, The Mountie, The Warlord & Ric Flair v. Bret Hart, Roddy Piper, The British Bulldog & Virgil.

Flair’s video-distorted belt of choice tonight is the WWF tag title.  Dibiase has his Million $ Belt back, after he and Repo Man beat the Miracle Jobber Connection (Virgil & Santana) on a countdown show leading up to this PPV.  I should point out that the STR (Suck-To-Rule) Ratio for the team members here is .750, which is pretty amazing.  Piper & Dibiase go first and tear it up, to enormous heat.  Wow, hot crowd.  Dibiase and Bret go next, and here is where the famous “Reverse, charge” spot call occurs.  There was also one in the 90 show, but it wasn’t nearly as loud or obvious as this one.  My bad.  Anyway, great sequence follows, then Bret & Flair go at it.  Flair ends up getting beat down by everyone, and then Piper MURDERS him.  Flair bails and brings in the Warlord.  Mountie gets destroyed next, and Bulldog is about to finish him, when Flair hits a cheapshot from the top rope and pins him.  Piper commences kicking ass, but gets quadruple-teamed.  He manages to escape a Boston Crab by tagging Virgil.  We get the inevitable Virgil-Dibiase showdown, and it ends badly for Virgil…in a Warlord full-nelson.  However, Bret repays Flair’s earlier cheating by hitting his own shot from behind, and Piper pins Warlord.  Good booking there.  Virgil gets the Dream on Dibiase, but he escapes.  Heels work Virgil over for a while as Heenan plays armchair quarterback and nearly cracks Monsoon up on a few occasions.  Piper gets the hot tag, and shrugs off Flair’s offense.  Big brawl erupts, with Flair doing the Flip to the floor, and the ref DQ’s everyone…who was in the ring.  Oops, that leaves Flair, who is thus the Survivor.  Great match, bad ending.  ***1/2

Randy Savage cuts a promo.  It’s This Tuesday in Texas, ya know.  Order now.

 Col. Mustafa, The Berzerker, Skinner & Hercules v. Texas Tornado, Tito Santana, Hacksaw Duggan & Sgt. Slaughter.

I never bought Slaughter’s face turn, and neither did the fans.  And it’s time to play my favorite game again!  Let’s see…jobber, jobber, jobber, jobber, suicidal drug addict, jobber, jobber, traitor.  Close call, but I’ll have to say that the heels have the advantage because none of them are liable to kill themselves mid-match.  And while I’m ranting, is this like the biggest collection of loser gimmicks in the history of wrestling or what?  It’s like the bottom of the Pat Patterson Idea Barrel or something.  Skinner takes a quick flying jalapeno and bails, and a stall session results.  Oh, man, it’s gonna be one of THOSE matches, I can just feel it.  The match drags on, and it’s like watching Heroes of Wrestling all over again.  Mustafa loads up the POINTY-TOED BOOT OF DEATH and gets two on Duggan, and then Slaughter comes in and hits a clothesline on him for the pin.  Berzerker bumps around a bit for Duggan.  Santana hits El Pace With Extra Picante on Hercules and gets rid of him.  Slaughter gets a blind tag and cradles Skinner for the pin.  Duggan finishes Berzerker with the three-point stance to put me (and the crowd) out of our misery at 14:15.  This was well and truly awful, but at least it was reasonably quick.  -*

 Jake Roberts offers his rebuttal to Randy Savage.  The hidden message:  Sure, we know you’ve just blown $30 on THIS crappy PPV, but since you’re in a spending mood, why not blow ANOTHER $20 on ANOTHER crappy PPV?  (2011 Scott sez:  Nowadays we’d kill for a $30 PPV and be like “Only $20 for the followup next week?  I’m in!”)

 WWF title match:  Hulk Hogan v. The Undertaker.

Taker was “undefeated” at this point, which translated from WWF-ese means that the Ultimate Warrior’s victories over him were erased from history.  UT no-sells Hogan’s initial offense and runs through some of his stuff, then Hogan starts no-selling, but Undertaker no-sells that no-selling.  UT wins that particular war of wills and chokes Hogan out with a cable.  UT methodically chokes him down with a face claw, giving Gorilla a chance to run through some of his usual cliches about fans on the edge of their seats and such.  After a LONG resthold, UT hits the flying clothesline and tombstone, which Hogan of course no-sells.  Hulk gets the dramatic bodyslam, and HEEEEEEEEEERE’S Flair.  He tries the steal the title belt, but Hogan stops him and then goes back to hit the big boot on Undertaker.  Legdrop, but Paul Bearer grabs Hogan’s leg.  The ref goes to deal with *him*, and that allows Flair the chance to toss a chair in the ring, which Undertaker tombstones Hulk on, and we have a new champion.  Hey, is that a FACE pop I hear for Undertaker?  Nah, couldn’t be, Hogan made the business and drew all the money from 1984 on, right?  Match was an abortion, of course.  DUD

Interview-O-Rama kills some time.

The Beverly Brothers & The Nasty Boys v. The Rockers & The Bushwhackers. 

Strangely, the Rockers were probably at the height of their popularity and credibility at this point, just before they self-destructed.  Bushwhackers control the flow to start and clear the ring.  Knobbs hits a quick clothesline on Luke, however, and pins him.  The Rockers double-team Sags for a bit, and then a painfully boring sequence with Marty playing cokehead-in-peril follows.  Butch gets the hot tag, but falls victim to the Beverly Bounce about 3 seconds later and is gone.  Marty pulls out a rana for two on Beau.  Shawn comes in and gets beat up.  Crowd is just gone.  Shawn catches Beau with a backslide and pins him.  Gorilla starts reading heelishness into Marty’s actions, then later Shawn’s.  See, at that point the WWF was still undecided about which Rocker would get the sacred heel push.  In my opinion, it wouldn’t have mattered either way, because Shawn didn’t truly get over until 1994 anyway and by then Marty had long since become a pathetic shell of his former self.  But I digress.  Shawn hits a running clothesline off the apron on Sags, then reluctantly tags in Marty, who is a house of fire for 3 seconds before getting pounded again.  The announcers fill downtime by talking about…you guessed it….THIS TUESDAY IN TEXAS.  And man, there’s a LOT of downtime to fill here.  Pier-six brawl erupts, and Marty slams Sags, who ends up kicking Shawn in the face on the way down.  Knobbs quickly cradles the stunned Michaels and pins him.  This prompts Shawn to tease a heel turn, but he just leaves.  So it’s Marty 3-on-1.  Massive heel beatdown is punctuated by a couple of highspots from Jannetty, but in the end Knobbs rolls Jannetty over as he’s small-packaging Sags, and the heels get the win at 23:04.  Yes, they actually gave this  half an hour with entrances, I’m just as shocked as you.  3/4* for a couple of highspots.  Survivors:  Blake Beverly, Jerry Sags, Brian Knobbs, and ME, for staying awake through it all.

 The Natural Disasters & IRS v. Big Bossman & The Legion of Doom.

Interesting thing I heard on the Meltzer radio show:  IRS was dreamed up by Vince McMahon as a shot at the real IRS, who audited him the year before.  I dunno why this is just a six-man, but it’s still elimination rules.  (2011 Scott sez:  Because Randy Savage got bit by a snake, duh!) LOD dominates Typhoon in sloppy fashion.  Bossman gets bopped with the briefcase and pinned by IRS.  Animal takes some big fat punishment.  Man, this is too exciting for words.  Hawk gets the hot tag.  They try the briefcase trick again, but the same trick can’t work twice according to the rules of wrestling, so it misses and Typhoon takes it instead, and gets pinned.  Earthquake bitches at IRS about that miscue, and ends up walking out with Typhoon, leaving IRS 2-on-1 against the tag champs.  RIP, IRS.  (2011 Scott sez:  Actually, RIP Earthquake, Big Bossman and Hawk.  These are some depressing percentages of dead wrestlers.)  Animal gets the pin after the usual at 15:21.  Survivors:  The Legion of Doom.  1/2*

Hulk Hogan and Undertaker offer their final thoughts and hype THIS TUESDAY IN TEXAS.

The Bottom Line:

Well, the first match was great, and Hulk Hogan jobbed, which is always good for a laugh, but the rest is strictly sadomasochist territory.  Perhaps Vince knew that too, because in 92 he scrapped the tag match format entirely for a year, and gave us a pretty awesome main event to boot.

But that’s another rant.  Anyway, this show is definitely not recommended.

 

Billy Gunn’d

Hey Scott– Don’t know if you caught this yet, but the match listing for the King of the Ring DVD is out, with EVERY tournament final match… except 1995 and 1999. Ouch. What do you think?

It goes to show that for everyone who bitches about the whitewashing of WWE history, sometimes the axe falls on the right side of things. 

Billy Gunn’d

Hey Scott– Don’t know if you caught this yet, but the match listing for the King of the Ring DVD is out, with EVERY tournament final match… except 1995 and 1999. Ouch. What do you think?

It goes to show that for everyone who bitches about the whitewashing of WWE history, sometimes the axe falls on the right side of things. 

Billy Gunn’d

Hey Scott– Don’t know if you caught this yet, but the match listing for the King of the Ring DVD is out, with EVERY tournament final match… except 1995 and 1999. Ouch. What do you think?

It goes to show that for everyone who bitches about the whitewashing of WWE history, sometimes the axe falls on the right side of things.