WWE.com RAW Preview
New WWE Tag Team Developing?
Tyler Breeze and Bo Dallas have been teaming up at house shows recently and have started to go by the name of “BoBreeze.”
AAA Rey de Reyes Show Postponed
The show, which was supposed to be held yesterday, was postponed due to heavy rain. The show was going to be held in an outdoor venue and will now happen tonight in a new indoor venue. This show is also the return to Mexico for Rey Mysterio.
Also, check out the “Great WrestleMania Re-Book Series” over at Place to be Nation as they re-book WrestleMania XIX. Click on the link below and give that a view.
(It was pointed out to me that I skipped this show and went right to the Nitro the night after. So here we go. Also, this show was dogshit and thus I’m never watching it again, but I’ll probably at the very least rewatch Bash 96 to get a fresh look for the Scott Sez repost.) The SmarK Retro Rant for WCW Slamboree 96 – Into the home stretch of WCW PPVs now, as we wrap things up with Slamboree ’96 (which I didn’t order back in the day and have only watched once since then) and then finish off with Road Wild ’99 (which I watched live, but was very drunk while doing so). And then that’ll be every WCW PPV ever, in the bag. (We are at least now approaching the point when I met my longtime circle of friends in Edmonton in late summer of 1996 and learned about the wondrous creation that was that the black box imported from Mexico, which meant I didn’t have to order PPVs anymore.) (…allegedly.) – Live from Baton Rouge, LA – Your hosts are Tony, Bobby & Dusty. – This of course is the last, and worst, iteration of Dusty Rhodes’ original “Battlebowl” idea, with “random” drawings forcing people to team up, with winners advancing until there’s 8 people left for a battle royale to crown the “Lord of the Ring”. (Now, at the point I was writing this, would Lord of the Rings jokes have been a hilarious and topical thing? Because I’m surprised I didn’t go for the low-hanging fruit in some form if so.) – Opening match: Road Warrior Animal & Booker T v. Road Warrior Hawk & Lex Luger. Let’s see if Booker can carry three guys at once. (Spoiler: Fuck no.) Oddly enough, Hawk & Animal have different variants on the same “Iron Man” ripoff. (So apparently when they did the graphics on Nitro a few weeks before this where they were the “Roadwarriors” as all one word, it might have been some weird legal dodge because WWF ended up with the rights to the Road Warriors name after their initial stint there. If so, that’s would be all kinds of fucked up.) Luger was in full babyface mode at this point, in preparation for the impending nWo invasion. (More specifically, Giant chokeslammed him through a table on Nitro leading up to this, which was the babyface turn once and for all.) Animal starts with Luger and they do the dramatic lockup in the corner, before Luger stomps away. Powerslam, but he doesn’t cover. Animal works him over in the other corner, and gets his own powerslam. Luger gets a suplex, which is no-sold, and Booker comes in to work on Luger’s arm. Charge hits boot, and Luger gets a clothesline out of the corner to take over again. Okay, we’ve obviously mastered the punching and kicking, let’s move into the 20th century now. Booker misses an elbow but recovers with a Spinarooni and sidekicks Luger. That gets two. It’s funny – WCW marketed Booker as a viable contender while ignoring the marketing possibilities of the Spinarooni, while the WWE markets his catchphrases while ignoring the viability of him as a contender. That pretty much sums up their differences in a nutshell. (Guess this was written pre-2003.) Axe kick gets two. Partners Hawk & Luger get into a fight, which leads to a pier-six brawl, and Luger runs away from the fight. It’s a double-countout at 6:55, which eliminates both teams from the tournament. That is so incredibly stupid that it can only have come from WCW. Horrible match, filled with bad wrestling. DUD – The Public Enemy v. Kevin Sullivan & Chris Benoit. This match really stretches the bounds of credibility as far as random drawings go. (This whole show really stretches the bounds of credibility as far as “wrestling PPV” goes.) I mean, at least back in the early 90s the teams were suitably bizarre and thus seemed random. Benoit starts with Rocco Rock and gets pounded, and Rock hits him with a headscissors. That turns into a shoving match and stalling follows. Rocco gets a rana as Dusty and Bobby have a funny discussion about what would happen if they were partners. A second rana is reversed into a powerbomb by Benoit. He pounds away and brings Sullivan in, which turns the match into a brawl. That’s smart, because 3 out of the 4 guys aren’t good for much else. Sullivan pounds on Rocco with a chair, but gets put on a table. Benoit cuts off a dive by Rocco with a clothesline, but gets suplexed out of the ring. Sullivan and Johnny Grunge keep fighting on the floor, but Sullivan and Benoit both end up on the table, and the Public Enemy dive onto it, putting Benoit through when Kevin moves. Back in, Rocco gets the pin on Benoit at 4:44. This could have been SO much more if they had booked it like one of the crazy brawls both teams were known for. 1/2* (OK, I confess to being really confused as this point. Benoit and Sullivan didn’t interact at ALL on Nitro around this time, but by Bash 96 they’re engaging in a giant blood feud? When did Sullivan transition from Pillman to Benoit as far as the feud went and where did that happen?) – Sgt. Craig Pittman & Scott Steiner v. Rick Steiner & The Booty Man. I’ve had nightmares involving these four guys wrestling each other. I mean, seriously, Rick Steiner and BRUTUS BEEFCAKE? Is that someone’s idea of a sick joke? (That’s Hulk’s idea of DRAWING MONEY, brother.) Kimberly is playing Brutus’ “booty babe” as a result of DDP jobbing to him at Uncensored. So there’s at least one (or two) things to watch here. (I was referring to her boobies.) Pittman and Booty start, and do a ridiculously bad mat- wrestling sequence. Pittman headbutts him low to end that charade, and Scott Steiner, who was not yet the Big Bad Booty Daddy and thus couldn’t really be confused with The Booty Man at that point, comes in with a butterfly powerbomb for two. For some reason he tags Pittman back in, as Booty tags out to Rick. Pittman pounds on Rick, who cheerfully no-sells everything and powerslams him. Pittman gets a german suplex, but Rick comes back with a Steinerline and Pittman decides that cowardice is the better part of valor and tags out to Scott. This actually gets the crowd going, and Scott takes Rick down with a fireman’s carry. Rick responds with a side headlock, but Scott goes behind to control on the mat. They do some mat-wrestling, and Scott gets a side suplex, but Rick gets a Steinerline. Scott suckers Rick into checking on him, and cradles for two. Scott gets a full-nelson, but Rick reverses to a german suplex and goes up. Scott follows and superplexes him, but Rick tags out to Booty to end the awesome. So we get Booty v. Pittman again and Pittman works on the arm, into the cross- armlock. Booty tags Steiner to escape the hold (which isn’t actually legal), and Rick suplexes Pittman for the pin at 8:21. Oh man, that stuff with the Steiners fighting in the middle was shaping up to be one of the best matches of the year given some time and a proper match. The rest was junk, so it evened out. **3/4 I briefly considered giving it another 1/4* in celebration of Kimberly leaving her bra in the dressing room, but then we’ve already seen her naked anyway. – Lord Steven Regal & Squire Dave Taylor v. Hacksaw Duggan & VK Wallstreet. Amazingly, it’s another combination of archenemies facing regular tag team partners. Oddly enough, Mike Rotundo was playing a Wallstreet spoof of Vince McMahon 4 years before the WWF went public. (And now he and his sons all work for Vince. Life is funny.) Duggan and Regal start and we get a posedown-slash-stallfest. I’ll leave it as an exercise to the reader to guess who does what. Regal gets a cheapshot, but Duggan hiptosses him. Clotheslines send Regal running to the corner, and tags abound. Taylor and Regal work over Wallstreet’s arm, but he fights back with forearms. Duggan and Wallstreet can’t get the teamwork going, however, and Regal takes advantage with a beatdown on Duggan in the corner. Duggan & Regal collide, but Wallstreet won’t take the tag. Duggan makes his own comeback, including nailing his own partner, and uses the ATHLETIC TAPE OF DOOM on Taylor for the pin at 3:49. Short and bad. (Just like both of Rotundo’s kids, AM I RIGHT?) 1/4* – Dirty Dick Slater & Earl Robert Eaton v. Alex Wright & Disco Inferno. Disco ducks away from Slater to start, in order to save the hair. Dancing follows. Slater chops away, prompting Disco to tag out. Eaton slugs away on Wright, but he fires back and gets a hiptoss and bad headscissors. Leg lariat gets two. Slater comes in with a neckbreaker, but Wright escapes a piledriver and Disco cleans house. Was that supposed to be the hot tag? It’s breaking loose in Tulsa and Wright dumps Eaton, but Slater nails Disco with his boot and gets the pin at 2:56. Yeah, okay. DUD (Disco was really a non-entity on Nitro at this point, as the last I’ve seen of him was getting squashed by the Booty Man. It really wasn’t until the two and three hour versions of the show that guys like him started getting any kind of TV time.) – DDP & Barbarian v. Meng & Hugh Morrus. This show gets better and better. Speaking of Hugh, I was watching bits and pieces of Confidential, and listening to him yelling at kids about how they’ll never make it in the WWE was kinda surreal. I mean, this is HUGH FREAKIN MORRUS telling someone that THEY don’t have what it takes to make it. (Huh. Now there’s an oddly coincidental comment on my part.) All they need now is HHH to come out and tell the kids that they don’t know how to work. (They do have that, it’s called NXT. That’s what he’s been telling Hideo Itami, in fact.) DDP grabs a headlock on Morrus to start, but gets dumped. Hugh follows with a pescado and misses by a mile. Back in, Page gets a lariat for two and brings the Barbarian in. This leads to the showdown of the Faces of Fear, as Meng starts pounding with chops. Barbarian overpowers him in turn and elbows away, but neither guy sells anything. Barbarian finally gets a back kick to drop Meng, and he presses Page onto him. Meng comes back with a headbutt and Morrus comes in and goes up right away. Flying elbow gets one. He changes his mind and goes up again, but DDP crotches him and Barbarian gets a belly-to-belly superplex for two. That looked pretty bad. Meng comes back in for some double-teaming and Morrus heads up for the moonsault, which gets two. It’s BONZO GONZO and DDP eats a superkick from Meng while Barbarian hits Morrus with the KICK OF FEAR, and since DDP is in the ropes, Barbarian’s pin counts and they win at 5:16. Who booked this shit? (Kevin Sullivan.) They tried, but the universal suck force bound them together too tightly. 1/2* – Big Bubba & Stevie Ray v. Scott Norton & Ice Train. Kill me now. It’s like someone wanted to book Fire & Ice v. Harlem Heat, but decided to replace Booker T to ensure the worst match humanly possible. Why? Who would be cruel and inhuman enough to book such a match? (Kevin Sullivan.) Norton pounds on Stevie, but charges and hits boot. Stevie clotheslines him and brings Bubba in, as Norton does an astounding amount of selling for an astoundingly bad run of offense. Spinebuster gets two. Norton gives Bubba the worst faceplant ever seen on TV, and Juice Train gets a buttsplash for two. Clothesline and both guys are out, as even Tony is riffing on the excessive number of clotheslines in the match. When TONY SCHIAVONE thinks you’re lame, you’ve got trouble. Norton comes back in and hammers on Stevie, but Bubba collides with his own partner and Norton pins him at 3:28. And thank god it’s over. DUD – Eddy Guerrero & Arn Anderson v. Ric Flair & Randy Savage. If there’s any justice they’ll give this a decent amount of time. Arn attacks Savage while waiting for Flair to make his entrance, and Flair adds some punishment on his own partner until Eddy (still a babyface) makes the save. Flair chops away, but Eddy wants to bring it! Liz & Nancy quietly make their way to ringside. Eddy backdrops Flair and dropkicks him a couple of times, but Flair goes to the eye, and then nails Savage for fun. I guess that was a tag. Arn comes in and beats on Savage, with Flair’s blessing, but Macho fights back. Arn keeps pounding in the corner, but eats boot. He gets the spinebuster for two, however. Flair tags back in, beats on his own partner some more, but Eddy pokes him in the eye and chops away. This is wild. Another dropkick sets up a tornado DDT, and Savage comes in and goes after Flair again, while Arn turns on his own partner and DDTs him. Flair gets the pin on Eddy at 4:05. Oh man, that match was amazingly fun stuff and it’s tragic that they cut it off at 4 minutes. ** Liz and the Horsemen give Savage some more abuse on the floor afterwards. – We review the winners and set up the next round of matches (determined by another “random” drawing, with one team getting a bye due to the double countout. Mean Gene and some Hooters girl select a team at random for the bye – Fire & Ice. The rest of the matches are drawn from there. – WCW Cruiserweight title: Dean Malenko v. Brad Armstrong. Tony talking about the “lengthy double-elimination tournament” for the belt (in reality: One match between Shinjiro Ohtani and Chris Benoit) is slightly bizarre given that even in 1996 it was easy to look this stuff up on the ‘net. Also Dean is apparently a youngster. (In all fairness he looks exactly the same today.) They do some mat-wrestling to start and Brad gets an enzuigiri. They fight over a hiptoss and neither gets it, but Brad armdrags him and Dean bails. Back in, Dean dropkicks the knee and wraps it around the post, going to work on it. He uses an Indian deathlock and gets a backdrop suplex. Brad reverses a fireman’s carry into a sunset flip for two, but Dean goes back to the knee and keeps him down. Stump- puller (now there’s a move you don’t see everyday) and Dean goes back to the knee. He grabs a kneebar, but Brad makes the ropes. Pump splash hits foot, and Brad makes the comeback. Charge hits boot, but he gets a powerslam and goes up for a missile dropkick. He puts Malenko into a Texas Cloverleaf, but Dean makes the ropes. Brad gets dumped, but goes up again until he gets caught by Dean and hit with an Atomic Gutbuster for the pin at 8:25. Crowd didn’t care about any of this, and you can thank Rey Mysterio Jr. for completely salvaging this division from the scrap heap. Match didn’t really work, either. ** (And then Brad was on Nitro the next night doing a meaningless job to DDP anyway.) – Dick Slater & Robert Eaton v. Hacksaw Duggan & VK Wallstreet. (Yes, two of these people are going to the FINALS.) Slater hammers on Wallstreet to start while Duggan takes Eaton. Duggan and Wallstreet want to go, but Duggan calls for peace…and Wallstreet turns on him and dumps him. Slater gets a legsweep on VK for two. Elbow and the Slater-Eaton team work him over in the corner, but he comes back on Eaton. Eaton bails and Duggan beats on him outside, and back in Wallstreet gets the abdominal stretch, but Duggan refuses to help out by grabbing his hand. What a wuss. Duggan tags himself back in and pounds everything that moves, and gets two on Slater. We hit the chinlock. Slater & Duggan collide and tags abound. Duggan & Wallstreet disagree and Eaton rolls up Wallstreet for the pin at 4:04. Well, at least it was short. 1/2* – The Public Enemy v. Ric Flair & Randy Savage. Liz throws out Savage’s alimony money into the crowd, so Randy charges out and attacks Flair during his entrance. Security pulls them apart to prevent anything interesting from happening, and TPE wins by forfeit. GIMME A BREAK. – DDP & Barbarian v. Rick Steiner & The Booty Man. I can’t imagine this show getting much worse, so there’s always that on the bright side. Just call me Positively Netcop. (Well don’t really call me Netcop because I don’t wanna get sued.) We’re really rushing through now, so this should be short and painless. DDP pounds on Booty to start, but gets dumped. Tony actually stops to give a logical explanation for DDP’s reinstatement following his retirement match: Since Johnny B Badd left the promotion and thus the match with Booty Man wasn’t for the TV title, DDP was under no obligation to put anything up, either. Okay then. Steiner comes in and pounds Page, but gets dropped on the top rope. Barbarian uses the power of the foot on Rick, but gets caught with a backdrop suplex. Sloppy belly-to-belly gets two, but Barbarian no-sells and powerbombs Rick, for two. Booty accidentally ties up the referee’s attention, allowing the heels to work Steiner over in the corner. Barbarian gets a clothesline, but Rick hotshots him and makes the “hot” tag to Booty Man. High Knee of Death gets two. Rollup is broken up by Page, and Barbarian GETS THE PIN at 5:05?!? From an ELBOW? Geez, is Brutus suffering from that brittle bone disease like Mr. Glass or something? (Cocaine is a hell of a drug.) DUD – US title match: Konnan v. Jushin Liger. Liger is sporting the EVIL BLACK TIGHTS tonight, but the pink boots sort of ruin the effect. Konnan only has one “N” in his name at this point. Konnan takes him down with a reverse bow-and-arrow to start, but Liger escapes. They do the wristlock reversal spot and lots of RVD-ish flipping results. Liger gets a senton and Konnan bails, which allows Liger to follow with a pescado. Back in, brainbuster gets two. Liger goes into a cross-armlock, but Konnan reverses to a Regal Stretch. Liger goes to a half-crab while the crowd snoozes. They exchange palm strikes and Liger gets the Koppo kick, and they head up. Liger gets a superplex and goes back up with a flying splash that gets two. Dropkick puts Konnan out, and Liger follows with a plancha, but Konnan catches him with a kick on the way down. Back in, Liger gets a fisherman’s buster for two. Konnan gets a whiplash slam for two. Liger reverses a powerbomb into a sunset flip for two. Cradle gets two. Ligerbomb gets two. Liger goes up and lands on Konnan’s foot, which sets up Splash Mountain for the pin at 9:30. Crowd was getting into it by the end. *** – Flair and Arn Anderson are doing an interview, but Steve MacMichael interrupts and challenges them to a match for the next PPV. Kevin Greene comes out as Mongo’s partner. – Battlebowl finals: Scott Norton, Ice Train, Dick Slater, Robert Eaton, DDP, Barbarian, Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge. This is just a plain old battle royale, with the winner getting a title shot at the Giant. Let me repeat that: The winner of THIS match, with THESE guys, was supposed to get a shot at the champion on PPV. This is why WCW was in so much trouble before the nWo. Usual kick and punch stuff with absolutely no storyline to the match. Page gets booted out by Barbarian, clearly eliminated, but the ref misses it (even though the camera shows it all). Gotta love WCW. More kicking and punching as guys randomly switch dance partners with no rhyme or reason. They should have done a Survivor Series elimination match or something to settle this. Rocco charges Barbarian and gets backdropped out. Slater hits Eaton with his boot and eliminates him. Slater follows him out via unseen elimination, and brawls with Eaton back to the dressing room. DDP dumps Norton, leaving four men. Ice Train powerslams everyone and forms an alliance with Barbarian, then turns on him. DDP Diamond Cuts everyone, and pins Grunge, and Train. Um, WHAT? Barbarian kicks out, however. This is retarded. What is this, the AWA World title battle royale? Where’s Tom Zenk? (Good question. Did we ever figure out what the hell happened to Zenk that caused him to disappear off the face of the earth? Jail?) Barbarian clotheslines Page for two. He charges and Page gets two in the corner. Page charges and Barbarian gets two. Tombstone piledriver (which looked like it nearly killed DDP) gets two. That was almost an OwenDriver. Sleeper is stopped by DDP going low, but Barbarian gets a powerbomb for two. Barbarian goes up, but misses the flying headbutt, and the Diamond Cutter ends it at 9:36. And the crowd goes apathetic. ** DDP didn’t get his promised title match until more than two years following, at Halloween Havoc ’98, and even then he had to win WarGames to earn that. – WCW World title: The Giant v. Sting. We’ve got like 10 minutes of airtime left here, so this should be quick. Those who give me that garbage about Big Show not being able to move faster and be thinner than he is now should watch his stuff from 1996, when he still sucked, but sucked in such a way that you could at least watch his matches without being embarrassed by it. This would be the point when Sting started growing his hair out, for whoever asked me a couple of weeks ago. Sting tries a bodyblock to start, but bounces off harmlessly. He keeps hammering on Giant and tries a sleeper, but gets shoved down. Seriously, Giant is MAYBE 400 pounds here. Maybe. If he got down to that size again and stayed there, I’d have no problem with him in the main events. (Keep in mind this was written something like 14 years ago, and now Show is still stinking up main events.) Sting keeps bouncing off Giant, and bails. Back in, Sting tries an enzuigiri, but that gets no-sold. Giant charges and Sting tries a slam, but Giant falls on him for two. Giant elbow and he simply walks on him to set up another elbow. Back elbow puts Sting down again and Giant works him over in the corner. Headbutt low and Giant chokes away. Another elbow and we head to a bodyscissors. That’s a pretty smart move, actually. Giant uses the ropes for good measure. That goes on for a while. Giant tosses him and sends him hurling down the aisle, but Luger prevents a chokeslam through the table by holding Jimmy Hart on the table. A REAL man would sacrifice his manager for the greater good. You think Ric Flair would have blinked twice before throwing JJ Dillon out there as a diversion? Giant misses a dropkick and the ref is bumped by mistake, as Sting makes the comeback and gets the Stinger Splash. He keeps hitting them, and Giant keeps not selling them. Giant finally goes down as Luger has Jimmy Hart tied up, but there’s no ref. Sting makes the fatal error of going after Hart with another splash, misses, and then recovers with a flying splash for two. Ref is bumped again on the kickout, so Sting hits him with another splash and gets the Scorpion Deathlock. Luger “accidentally” hits Sting with the megaphone, chokeslam, goodbye at 10:40. Surprisingly good, given that they kept it around 10 minutes to compensate for Giant’s weaknesses. *** (And then there was no followup on that megaphone deal the next night. Because WCW.) The Bottom Line: Well, when the nicest things I can muster up about a show are that some of the matches are “surprisingly good” and “entertaining despite all the other crap” and “they tried hard but still sucked”, you know there’s not going to be much worth watching here. Not the worst show ever, but one of the weirdest in terms of booking, and certainly not one that you’d wanna watch more than once. Strong recommendation to avoid.
April 18th, 1987
From the Thomas & Mack Center in Las Vegas, NV. Fun fact: The “Missy’s Manor” segments were first filmed at this taping. For those unaware, it was a talk-show hosted by Missy Hyatt but they never made it to air.
Your hosts are Bruno Sammartino, Jesse “The Body” Ventura, and Vince McMahon.
In action tonight are the Can-Am Connection, King Harley Race, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Kamala & Sika, and Jake “The Snake” Roberts
Dusty Wolfe & Barry O. vs. Can-Am Connection
Wolfe attacks Zenk before the bell. The heels briefly take the advantage until Martel comes in to catch Zenk after a suplex then picks up Zenk, who kicks down both men. Zenk hits a German suplex for two as the Can-Ams are shown in an insert promo talking about going after the Tag Team Titles. Martel takes Barry down with a headscissors then uses his speed to frustrate Barry as the crowd applauds. Barry stunguns Martel then hits him with a suplex for a nearfall. Martel comes back with a dropkick then makes the tag to Zenk, who runs wild. Wolfe stops him briefly but Zenk whips him into Barry, who flies off of the apron. Zenk then catches Wolfe with a powerslam before sling-shotting Martel in for the splash as they get the win (3:59).
Thoughts: Good showcase for the Can-Ams as they were being tossed into the hat as potential challengers for the Hart Foundation. The crowd was going nuts for them and their in-ring work was fast-paced. Martel was excellent here.
WWF Update with Craig DeGeorge. This week’s topic is Brutus Beefcake as he is shown cutting a promo on Johnny V. and the New Dream Team as he challenges them all. Not a very good promo from Beefcake at all.
Outback Jack tells Hillbilly Jim about how much he is joining the United States then they compare their countries cuisine.
Alex Knight vs. “The Outlaw” Ron Bass
Bass destroys Knight to start as we get an insert promo from him talking about Blackjack Mulligan hiding from him as Jesse agrees. Bass chokes out then stomps Knight for a bit. He gets two with an elbow drop then challenges Knight to hit him and he does with his crappy punches but Bass knocks him right down then puts him away with a jumping back elbow smash (1:59).
Thoughts: The crowd couldnt have cared less about this match. Poor Bass was being built up for a feud that never happened.
Gene Okerlund is with the British Bulldogs, who will be facing the Hart Foundation on at the May 2nd Boston Garden Show. Danny Davis is “barred” from the building that night. They then cut a promo on the Hart Foundation that is as bad as you would think. Matilda barking would have been better than having listen to the Dynamite Kid speak.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Tiger Chung Lee
Duggan catches Lee with a clothesline then gets two off of a knee drop as we get an insert promo from the Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff, and Slick, who declares that no one will stop Volkoff from singing the Russian National Anthem. Duggan misses a corner charge but comes back quickly with a slam before putting him away with a running clothesline (2:40).
Thoughts: The Duggan super-push continues as the fans are buying into his blue-collar and patriotic act.
Hogan cuts a promo on Bobby Heenan and all of his men, including his opponent in Boston, Harley Race. Solid work from Hogan to hype his house show matches against Race.
Mr. Fuji is with Sika, Kamala, and Kimchee. He hands Sika a raw fish and he devours it as Kamala tries to go after it. A wacky 80’s segment.
Jesse Cortez & Jerry Allen vs. Kamala & Sika w/ Mr. Fuji & Kimchee
Allen tries to get in some offense but Sika stops that with an eye rake. Kamala tags and leapfrogs Allen before hitting him with a thrust kick in an impressive spot. Cortez tags in and gets brutalized until Kamal puts him away with a splash (2:05).
Thoughts: This did a fine job establishing the team as killers.
Craig DeGeorge is with Blackjack Mulligan at his ranch. He asks him about the comments Bass was making about him as he runs him down. Not much to see here.
Joe Mirto vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts
Roberts knocks down Mirto as we get an insert promo from the Honky Tonk Man pleading with the fans to get behind him as he tries to ban the DDT. Roberts works the arm as Vince plugs a six-man for next week featuring Sheik & Volkoff & Butch Reed vs. Sivi Afi & The Islanders. The fans go nuts just for Mirto being near the snake bag. Roberts hits his short-arm clothesline before putting him away with the DDT (4:25). Roberts then gets the snake as the fans go nuts and puts it on Mirto as we get a funny line by Jesse aimed at Vince: “You used to hate it but now you love it.”
Thoughts: This went on forever as the focus was on the ban the DDT gimmick from Hart and Honky.
The addressed to vote in the “Ban the DDT” movement is shown on-screen.
And now it’s Part Three of the “Ken Patera Story.” Okerlund tells us that Ken Patera was just looking for a burger at a fast food restaurant then when denied service allegedly threw an object, along with someone else, through a glass window and then when police arrived at the motel a melee took place. After being tried, Patera was sentenced to two years in prison as Okerlund notes some think a person who represented the U.S. in the Olympics should get a lesser sentence. We are then shown Patera in a cell as he accepts all responsibility for what happened, unlike Bobby Heenan who creates problems and walks away from them. Patera then said he will be back in the WWF to rid it of people like Heenan. This was pretty bad as they glossed over the actions that put Patera in jail in order to blame Heenan as why it happened so they could bring him back as a face. And they wondered why this push for Patera failed. Well, it would have failed anyway, but still.
Billy Anderson vs. King Harley Race w/ Bobby Heenan
Race catches Anderson with a knee as we get an insert promo from Heenan, who addresses Patera about blaming him for his actions that got him in jail and how he was the not the punk who did the crime, calling him garbage. Heenan yells at Race to pick up his opponent after a suplex as Race softens up Anderson a bit before putting him away with the cradle suplex (1:54).
Thoughts: A dominant squash match for Race to prepare him for Hogan.
Okerlund is with Jake Roberts and asks him about the Honky Tonk Man. Roberts cuts a solid promo against him but nothing memorable or anything.
Next week will be the featured six-man tag bout. Plus, Jim Duggan will be here in the front row as he apparently bought a ticket to the show. Also in action will be Tito Santana, Honky Tonk Man, Killer Bees and Demolition.
Final Thoughts: A decent show. Some of the stuff pushed like the Patera Story and the Bass/Mulligan feud was a waste but the Honky/Jake feud is solid and they are trying to push Beefcake as a face, which is something new at least. And the tag team division is starting to be pushed as ultra-competitive, which is a good thing. The letdown after WrestleMania was expected though and you can see it in the shows.
Here is my schedule for the next few days.
Tuesday: WWF Wrestling Challenge 4/19/87
Thursday: RF Video Shoot Interview with Percy Pringle (Paul Bearer)
Friday: WWF Superstars of Wrestling 4/25/87
Saturday: RoH Bitter Friends, Stiffer Enemies 8/16/03
Sunday: WWF Wrestling Challenge 4/26/87
Talk about everything going on tonight here. Also, check out this article on Deadspin titled “Is WrestleMania Going To Be Garbage, Or What” by clicking on the link below
The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 05.20.96 Live from somewhere. Running time is listed as 70 minutes, although I thought the two hour thing didn’t start until next week’s show? Since I’m watching early Sunday morning, the network load appears to be light enough that there’s no issues with buffering today. Your hosts are Eric Bischoff & Bobby Heenan. Mongo is now a wrestler as of Slamboree, so he’s done as an announcer. Good riddance. Fire & Ice v. The Steiner Brothers Juice Train throws Scott around to start, but gets clotheslined for two. Train comes back with his own suplex for two, and then Scott shows him up with an overhead suplex. Well that was fun. Norton comes in to pound on Rick, and hits a semi-flying splash off the middle rope, but Rick returns fire with a release german suplex for two. Scott tosses Norton and follows with an axehandle to the floor as they’re letting it all hang out here. Back in, Norton catches him with a samoan drop for two, but Rick and Train clothesline each other and it’s BONZO GONZO. Bischoff clarifies that it’s a 90 minute show as the ref calls for the double DQ at 5:26. Much better than last week’s mess. **1/4 Ric Flair v. Eddie Guerrero Pretty impressive cleavage on Woman tonight, especially since that’s not usually her strong suit. Eddie works a headlock and slugs it out with Flair in the corner, taking some vicious chops in the process. And you know damn well he told Flair to lay them in there. Eddie fights back with a dropkick to put Flair on the floor. Flair stops for a tantrum by his table and an argument with the ref. How sad is it that everyone in the match except Flair is now dead? Not that Randy Anderson led a particularly high-risk lifestyle or anything, but geez. Back in the ring, we get a Flair Flop and take a break. Back with Eddie on top with a sunset flip for two and he pounds on Flair in the corner until Flair puts him down with atomic drop. Eddie gets a backslide for two, and a small package for two. Flair tries the figure-four and Eddie cradles for two and then trips him up and gets his own figure-four. Flair quickly makes the ropes, but he bails and suckers Eddie into a dive that goes badly. Eddie blows out his knee on the landing and Flair goes to work with a suplex on the floor as we get a funny bit from the announcers: Bobby notes “Flair knows how to win as a 13-time World champion…well, 15 if you count…” before Bischoff cuts him off with a curt “We’re not talking about those titles.” Flair works on the leg, but Eddie fights off the figure-four and comes back with a sunset flip, which Flair blocks by punching him in the face. That works. They trade chops in the corner and Eddie suddenly gets a tornado DDT for two out of the corner. A ropewalk into a rana ends up hurting Eddie’s knee even more, but he goes up with the frog splash…and blows out his OTHER knee in the process. Flair recovers and finishes with the figure-four by positioning Eddie away from the ropes and getting the pin at 20:09. But again he makes sure to grab the ropes and the women’s hands at the same time, so Eddie looks good in the loss. ****1/4 Was this on any of the DVD releases thus far? Because it was pretty fucking great. Ric Flair cuts his victory promo about how Kevin Greene came into Carolina without his permission, and then made a mistake by trying to cross-train football and wrestling like Flair “cross-trains the girls”, and even Elizabeth is unable to keep from cracking up on camera. WCW World tag titles: Sting & Lex Luger v. The Faces of Fear Meng stomps Luger down, but Lex gets a powerslam for two and we take a break. Back with Sting missing a dropkick as Meng goes to work on the back. Meng with an atomic drop into the Barbarian’s KICK OF FEAR for two. Barbarian takes him to the top for an impressive belly to belly that gets two. DOUBLE DIVING HEADBUTTS follow, but Luger distracts the ref and Meng is ROBBED of the tag titles. Sting fights back and Meng cuts off the tag with a dramatic atomic drop, and Barbarian gets a backbreaker for two. Finally Sting dives for the hot tag and Luger runs wild. STAINLESS STEEL FOREARM OF DOOM gets two on Barbie. It’s breaking loose in Tulsa and Meng eats the post, allowing Sting to hit Barbarian with a flying splash that gives Luger the pin at 10:52. Where did THIS come from? *** BLOOD RUNS COLD. In the Observer, Dave clarifies that Bryan Clark probably won’t be a ninja after all, and all we know for sure is that Chris Champion is the main guy. Meanwhile, security still won’t let Randy Savage into the building, and in fact he may never be allowed to wrestle again! Diamond Dallas Page v. Brad Armstrong DDP works on the arm to start, but gets dropkicked to the floor. He comes back with a neckbreaker and we take a break. Back with Brad getting a backslide for two as there’s already talk from Bischoff about taking the title shot away from DDP. So why even book him to win the match at Slamboree? Why not just have Savage or Luger win it? That never made any sense. Brad with a flying bodypress for two, but he walks into the Diamond Cutter at 7:34. Most of this took place during the break and never really got going. *1/2 And then Mean Gene announces that DDP is stripped of his title shot and Lex Luger gets the shot instead, because reasons. WEAK. WCW World title: The Giant v. Arn Anderson Arn tries to throw hands on the Giant and gets nowhere, and Giant removes him from the ring. Arn goes low and gets a pair of axehandles off the middle rope, but Giant counters a DDT attempt into the chokeslam at 3:38. Turrible. ½* The Pulse Check out Flair v. Guerrero, and the rest is pretty much a wash. Geez, I hope they have some giant game-changing development next week…
Date: October 24, 1999
Location: MGM Garden
Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Heenan, Tony Schiavone
Russo Era is officially upon us as we got a big time preview this
past Monday. However, this show is the real thing with Russo getting
to direct where things go from here. Expect to see a lot more
pointless talking, a lot more insanity and a lot more shouting about
what I did to deserve this. Let’s get to it.
opening video focuses on Sid vs. Goldberg and mentions the whole
“Goldberg can’t touch him” bit, which has basically been ignored.
Hogan vs. Sting gets even less hype.
LOUD Weasel chant is ignored by Heenan as Tony announces that due to
Rey Mysterio being injured, the Filthy Animals have been stripped of
the Tag Team Titles. The solution? A triple threat hardcore title
match for the belts with Kidman substituting for Mysterio. Well why
bother having a match when you can just make it hardcore? They run
down the rest of the card in case you bought the show blind.
big demon holding the pumpkin set is back. That thing is so cool
looking and deserves to be on a better show.
Title: Disco Inferno vs. Lash Leroux
is challenging so Disco starts fast with a clothesline and stomps in
the corner. A DDT plants Leroux again and it’s time for choking.
Lash comes back with a dropkick and slam for two. Totally basic
stuff so far. Some Cajun dancing sets up a clothesline for two more
as Heenan suggests holding ropes of trunks.
head outside with Disco sending him into the steps, only to get
caught in a nice belly to belly back inside. It’s a bad sign when
fans are already going for popcorn in the opening match. Or did
people even show up for those seats in the first place? Lash puts on
a chinlock in a rare move for a good guy, which might explain why it
doesn’t go anywhere.
Last Dance (or is it still the Chartbuster?) is countered into a
backbreaker but Disco escapes Whiplash (which Tony didn’t seem to
recognize) as well. The swinging neckbreaker gets two for Disco and
Heenan again wants trunks pulled. Lash lifts him up for something
like a sitout ProtoBomb (Tony: “THAT’S HIS MOVE!” No Tony, it
isn’t.”) for his closest near fall yet but the Last Dance retains
the title a few seconds later.
D+. The wrestling was
acceptable but this was a horrible choice for an opener. An opening
match is supposed to get the fans into the rest of the show. Instead
this was just a basic match with almost no high flying or exciting
moments, making it completely against the idea of a standard
cruiserweight match. It didn’t help that Lash pretty much got
squashed here and never even had major control. Just an odd choice
and nothing interesting.
match Lash hits Whiplash (Tony: “THAT’S HIS MOVE!”) on the belt.
What a jerk. They might as
well turn Disco face as he’s pretty over with the fans.
and Benoit arrived earlier in the day (because they work here) and
run into Saturn. He hasn’t heard from them lately, but Dean and
Chris are done with the Revolution. In
other words, after months of building up the Revolution and then
feeding them to the First Family and Sid, we’re likely in for a feud
between the members, making the entire team as close to a waste of
time as you can get.
Heat is ready to survive the Tag Team Title match tonight because
that’s what they’ve done their whole lives. Stevie doesn’t want
those no talent fruit booties to forget it.
Team Titles: Kidman/Konnan vs. Harlem Heat vs. Brian Knobbs/Hugh
titles are vacant coming in. Penzer: “This match will be fought
under street fight rules!” Heenan: “Oh no.” The
First Family wears Halloween masks to the ring. Kidman
and Konnan on the other hand wear the title belts to the ring despite
Kidman never winning one. Kidman
has a camera with him as well. The
First Family has weapons with them for an early advantage and there
are two referees here. You can see the screwiness from a mile away.
throws Brian into the fans and Stevie nails Kidman in the head with a
trashcan. All six get back
in to make my life easier with Morrus nailing Kidman with a
clothesline for two, thanks to Kidman grabbing the ropes. Stop
having that rule in hardcore matches. Falls count anywhere should
include in the ropes. Booker goes after Jimmy Hart and gets blasted
with a trashcan. That
doesn’t interest him enough to sell though so Harlem Heat double team
Knobbs and throw him through a Styrofoam
drops Kidman ribs first onto an open chair (ow) as Knobbs and Booker
fight into the back. It’s
table time in the ring as Knobbs hits Booker with a water jug. For
some reason, Tony finds this funny. No
Laughing Matter puts Konnan through the table but in the back, Booker
hits Knobbs with a mummy for a fast counted pin and the titles before
Morrus can pin Konnan.
D-. So to recap, this is likely
setting up Harlem Heat vs. the First Family again, meaning we’re
right back to where we were about a week ago. The match was your
standard messy WWF hardcore match with gimmicky weapons and no
semblance of wrestling in the slightest. In other words, Russo
thought it was great and the novelty is going to wear off quick. Or
make me want to watch Road Dogg vs. Al Snow who were better at these
Harlem Heat comes back in we hear a three count and a bell, which
apparently was Kidman pinning Morrus. How that came about after the
No Laughing Matter isn’t clear because we needed to watch Harlem Heat
walking from the back. Why is Russo so obsessed with watching people
walk through the back? It took up like ten minutes on Nitro and now
it screws up the result of a match. I mean…..IT’S WALKING. You
still see this stuff to this day on Raw and Impact and I still don’t
Konnan might have injured his collarbone. Oh good. He can still
walk in the back.
Mysterio and Torrie (who really, really agrees with the Filthy
Animals look) come out to stare from the entrance.
Flairs storm into the arena with Ric holding a crowbar.
are Diamond Dallas Page and Kimberly for our first talking segment of
the show. Kimberly says
fourteen times, which isn’t the amount of times Flair won that stupid
belt. That’s the number of times Ric spanked her recently, but when
she and Page are together, that’s just a warmup. This would be the
pointless sexual part of the show.
hates Flair and promises that Ric will never forget him. Kimberly
invited David Flair to her room in an obvious swerve (Page’s words)
and Ric showed up, but can only spank her? Page has Flair’s spank,
and guess where he points. Page:
“Let’s whack it, and let’s jack it all night long.” Before this
takes a VERY weird turn, Page wants to make the match tonight a strap
match. This is another of
those ideas which really didn’t need to happen and all the innuendo
got old in a hurry, like almost every Russo idea actually.
is looking for Sid.
and Torrie tell Eddie that they’ll have his back tonight. Eddie
thinks he should call Rey on the way to the hospital. Guerrero is
wearing a Rolex, which he probably stole from Ric on Monday.
Guerrero vs. Perry Saturn
lets Heenan hold the watch for some reason. They
dive around each other to start until Saturn grabs a hot shot for
two. Back up and Eddie
throws him to the floor and
then into the barricade. The
lack of extended selling continues as Saturn gets two off a pop up
powerbomb. Heenan wants the number of a 24 hour pawn shop while
Saturn cranks on an armbar.
to a cross armbreaker followed by a chicken wing with a headscissors
(cool looking move). That
goes nowhere so Eddie dropkicks Saturn for two, only to walk into a
t-bone suplex. Saturn
switches up the target by going after the knee with
a variety of leg locks. Eddie
grabs a wristlock on the mat before going with a short arm scissors.
The lifting counter slam and
a Lionsault get two for Saturn but
Eddie brainbusters him back down.
frog splash misses though and
Saturn hits a springboard dropkick. Eddie
goes up but gets crotched with a superkick to the knee, allowing
Saturn to superplex him down. They
head up top again with Eddie reversing Splash Mountain (Razor’s Edge
bomb) into a superplex, but here’s Ric Flair with a crowbar to knock
Eddie out for the DQ. Why
do I have a feeling that’s the closest we’ll get to a regular match
with a regular ending all night long?
C. The match was pretty dull
but they were getting going when we got to the stupid ending. I’m so
glad we set this stupid angle up on Monday and Flair was so angry
that he waited eleven minutes before coming down to break it up. As
usual though, this was about the angle instead of the wrestling,
which makes the match we got seem like a waste of time.
and Torrie come out so Flair blasts Kidman with the bar and kisses
Torrie. She doesn’t seem to
mind that much. I have zero
issue looking at Torrie more tonight. Ric
comes back to remember the story and gets his watch back.
cut away from the replay to see Goldberg punching Sid. Security
breaks them up and Sid is a bloody mess. Heenan:
“He looks like he took 50 tomatoes to the face.” Potatoes
more than likely.
Buff Bagwell for another talking segment. He
has a problem with the two new writers from up north who are here to
save WCW. Oh geez here we go. He also has a problem with Jeff
Jarrett because Buff isn’t on the show tonight. The line doesn’t
make any more sense in context. Bagwell
tells Heenan to get Jeff out here but Jeff is here because Buff even
turns to talk to Bobby.
fight is on with Buff a face again and fired up after being
uninterested on Monday. That’s another story we’re not going to
reference again isn’t it? Jeff
starts to get the better of it so Luger comes out for the save, only
to hit Buff with the guitar by mistake. I guess this is due to Liz
being knocked out with a guitar next to her. I still think she did
it to herself.
is getting stitched up and throws the cameras out.
injured Eddie calls Rey and tells him to get back to the arena.
Isn’t Rey injured?
Armstrong vs. Berlyn
Brad wears an American flag shirt to the ring. They
lock up to start with Berlyn cartwheeling out of a wristlock. Berlyn
suplexes Brad down as Tony reads off a sweepstakes result. A
pop up powerbomb gets two on Armstrong followed by some stomps. The
dull match continues with Berlyn hitting him in the corner as Tony
talks about ANYTHING but this match. Brad
grabs the rope to counter the neckbreaker and quickly covers Berlyn
for the pin. It’s as sudden as it sounds.
F. This was on pay per view,
meaning it’s a failure by definition. Somehow this was the best they
could have done as they kept it short but this really could have been
done on TV for the same result. Dull match and the Berlyn push
thankfully is done. He never got a fair shake though, after the
Duggan match last month and then this mess.
bodyguard and Berlyn lay out Armstrong post match.
says he has his watch back and is ready to fight the Animals anytime.
He brings up the spanking
again, which is becoming a thinner and thinner veil for what they
really want to say but can’t on TV. Torrie
got some of Flair tonight so Kimberly is up next.
Title: Chris Benoit vs. Rick Steiner
is defending after beating Steiner for the title the night after Fall
Brawl. Steiner immediately
heads to the floor, just after Tony says that wouldn’t happen in this
match. I can always get a
chuckle out of Tony being wrong. We
play keep away for a bit until Rick nails him coming back in. A
huge Steiner Line nails Benoit and Rick hits his backdrop powerslam
for two. Tony calls this
power wrestling, which I guess is the new definition for “we won’t
fire this guy so sit through this awful stuff.”
goes up but Benoit grabs a superplex, which Steiner isn’t even polite
enough to sell for more than about four seconds. The
threat of the Crossface sends them back to the floor with Steiner
sending him into the barricade to
take over again. Rick
screws up the timing coming out of the corner (I’m shocked too),
meaning he has to intentionally walk into a dropkick for two. It
looked horrible but that really shouldn’t surprise anyone at this
low blow puts Benoit down because Rick doesn’t know how to wrestle a
match to get control. Off to a lame leg lock which doesn’t seem like
it would be very painful, but it lets Rick take a break after this
grueling six minutes of work. Benoit
misses another dropkick so Rick rubs his face into the mat. An
attempt at a sunset flip counter to a powerbomb goes badly as well
with Rick not even leaning back to be taken over, leaving Benoit to
crash to the mat instead.
gets one off a small package but stays on the mat instead of getting
up so Rick can’t botch anything else. Instead
Rick just hits him in the back of the head and puts him in the
reverse Tree of Woe. Rick
hits some release German suplexes for two with Benoit just crashing
harder and harder each time. The
fans aren’t pleased until Benoit counters a suplex into a DDT to get
chops away in the corner and rolls some Germans. Tony: “THIS IS A
CLASSIC!” The referee eats an elbow to the face so Steiner brings
in a chair. Benoit hits a suplex and does a Van Daminator with a
right hand instead of a kick. He loads up the Swan Dive but Steiner
throws the chair at him on the way down. Cue Malenko to SHOCKINGLY
turn on Benoit by nailing him with the chair, giving Steiner the pin
and the title because SCREW WCW AND THEIR LOVE FOR RICK FREAKING
D. There’s only so much Benoit
can do when he’s in a mess like this. Rick
beat Benoit up for twelve minutes and Benoit was barely ever on
offense. What is Benoit supposed to do in something like this? On
top of that, let’s mess up the Revolution and get rid of their most
popular and successful member for the sake of a SWERVE. Maybe this
gets Benoit on to something bigger, but my goodness, couldn’t he drop
the TV Title to…..oh I don’t know…..SATURN OR MALENKO?
and Malenko hug in the aisle. Saturn: “Hi Shane.” Heenan:
“DOUGLAS COULD BE BEHIND THIS!” Because Shane Douglas gets to
come in and be some mastermind I guess.
still has an injured ankle and shouldn’t be wrestling tonight. Luger
may have cost him the World Title last week, but this week he’s going
to be excellently executed. This was the first logical and well done
segment of the night and it lasted all of 45 seconds.
Package vs. Bret Hart
goes right after him to start and takes Luger outside to send him
into the announcers’ table. Tony: “This is a very hard table!”
Back in and Bret rakes the eyes across the ropes and chokes in the
corner as this has been completely one sided so far. They head
outside again with Bret ramming him into various objects, only to go
after Elizabeth. Eh I can’t blame him with her in that dress.
cheap shot fails and Bret sends him into the barricade and back
inside. Luger finally goes to the eyes to take over but Bret hits
him in the back to regain control. We hit the Five Moves of Doom but
Luger breaks the Sharpshooter with another thumb to the eye. They
fall out to the floor and Bret is holding his ankle again. Back in
and Luger wraps the leg around the ropes before putting on a half
crab for the submission. Seriously.
D. Luger’s entire offense for
this match: two pokes to the eye, a right hand, a kick to the leg,
bending the leg around the rope and the half crab. This
is one of those matches where all of the premises don’t add up to the
conclusion. Bret having a bad leg coming in and selling it
throughout is fine, but my goodness. LEX LUGER just made Bret tap to
something other than the Torture Rack on pay per view.
Just…..think before you do things WCW. Please?
promises to separate Sid’s head from his body.
Madusa in a swimsuit to shill Nitro cologne.
She gets on the announcers’
table and pours it over Heenan, swears about
the Powers That Be, and
leaves. Apparently it
smells horrible. Tony: “I love my job.” This
has been a moment.
recap Sting vs. Hogan. Sting turned heel to win the title last month
at Fall Brawl because WCW is stupid, and tonight is the rematch.
World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sting
doesn’t come out at first, Sting comes out, Hogan
eventually comes out
in street clothes (I don’t
want to know what street) and
lays down for the pin in three seconds. That would be Hogan’s last
match until February. Any guesses as to how much of an explanation
we get on this idiocy?
on a Goldberg vs. Sid video before Hogan is even out of the ring and
the first part is covered by Sting music. They mention the Goldberg
can’t touch him bit and don’t bother explaining. At one point the
video cuts back to the crowd because WCW is run by a bunch of stupid
monkeys. The fans are booing this out of the building and can you
Title: Sid Vicious vs. Goldberg
is still a bit bloody from earlier in the night. Hall
and Nash jump Goldberg during the entrance, further making me wonder
why he has six state troopers flanking him. Is
it in case one of the boys takes a shot at him in
the back? Sid jumps
Goldberg in the aisle and the brawl (this won’t be a match) is on.
Goldberg shrugs it off and
drops Sid over the barricade.
referee stops things so Sid can blade again but Sid comes up
swinging. It really seems like they’re trying to make Sid out to be
a face here. A big boot drops Goldberg and we hit a camel clutch.
Goldberg does an impressive
power up into an electric chair drop for two and cranks on the neck.
The blood is just flowing out of Sid’s head. They
slug it out even more with Sid getting weaker from the blood loss.
Tony: “This is the darnedest thing I’ve ever seen.” Is it Tony?
Is it the darnedest? Goldberg
hammers him even more in the corner and Sid falls to his knees to
make the referee stop it.
D+. The blood looked great but
if they’re trying to do the Austin turn at Wrestlemania XIII (note
that Goldberg didn’t turn here and wrestled like he always does),
they’re really missing the point. I’m not going to care about Sid
after all those months of destroying cruiserweights and not selling
for Benoit because he had a great cut in a seven minute match and
didn’t even get pinned. Try
again WCW, because this isn’t going to work.
Steiner helps Sid to the back. Do you want him to be a face or not?
To be fair it wasn’t really clear, but Sid wanting to walk out on his
own and wanting to fight Goldberg again looked like a face move to
tries to say Sid’s streak is intact to keep up the stupid story.
look at Ric and Kimberly in the hotel on Monday. This comes off as
an excuse to see Kimberly in lingerie. That’s not a complaint by the
Sting to say he came here for a fight, so if anyone wants a shot at
the belt later tonight,
come get him.
Flair vs. Diamond Dallas Page
match with the two of them tied together and wins coming by pin or
submission. Just bring the
Filthy Animals out now to get this over with. Page
hides on the floor to start before they trade shots in the corner.
They head outside with Page
being pulled into the post before going up the aisle and into the
crowd. Page nails him in
the back with the strap but Flair chops him back.
ringside again with Flair kissing Kimberly. He’s had a good night so
far. Page hammers away and
busts Flair open, though it’s not as good as Sid’s cut. They
slug it out for a good while before Page takes him to the announcers’
table for a whipping. Back
in and Flair hits him low to take over again, followed by more chops
and a second low blow. They’re really not trying anything special
knee drop misses Page’s head as is the custom and
it’s time to go for the leg. Flair wraps the strap around Page’s
throat and puts on the Figure Four, only to have Page make the ropes.
Now it’s Page hitting him
low a few times to take over, setting
up the Diamond Cutter for….the finish but not a pin. It’s a weird
ending as Robinson counts twice, Flair moves his foot a bit, and
Robinson stops before three but calls for the bell anyway. I
think Flair was supposed to get his foot on the ropes but didn’t make
might have been the second best match of the night, but some of that
might have been due to how much time it got. The strap really didn’t
add much and this could have been any given regular match but I guess
they wanted to tie it into the spanking idea. I’ll give you a minute
to think about Page and Flair spanking each other.
nails the referee and chokes Flair with the strap, only to have
Kimberly stop David’s interference. She hits David low and hands
Page the crowbar to nail Ric in the ribs and between the legs. David
is thrown in as well for a Diamond Cutter as medics come in to help
the Flairs. The Filthy Animals jump out of the ambulance to jump
Ric. I really don’t see why Mysterio was injured but this gives me
another excuse to look at Torrie so whatever.
have less than nine minutes to go in the show counting entrances.
Answering the challenge: Goldberg, because screw Starrcade and
drawing money and all that. No US Title with him of course. Tony
says this is non-title despite Sting issuing a challenge for a title
shot. Sting heads outside before the bell but actually has a point:
there’s no referee. Cue Charles Robinson with no injuries from the
previous match for the opening bell with less than six minutes to go
in the show.
kicks away in the corner and hits an awkward clothesline. They head
outside with Goldberg in full control and sending Sting into the
barricade for about the millionth time tonight. Goldberg
clotheslines the post, allowing Sting to hit the top rope splash for
two. Sting spears Goldberg down but Goldberg pops to his feet and
kicks him in the face. The real spear hits the buckle, setting up
three straight Stinger Splashes. That goes nowhere and it’s spear
and Jackhammer for the pin in just over three minutes.
C. This was actually
entertaining while it lasted but my goodness they just wasted their
guaranteed Starrcade main event for a three minute match. But hey,
at least it was surprising! No one knew it was coming and there was
no way to make extra money off the match but at least it shocking.
is handed the belt and announced as the new champion. Tony thinks
there might have been some confusion but I’ll chalk it up to Tony
being stupid. Goldberg leaves so Sting yells at the referee about it
not being a title match. Robinson gets a Death Drop to end the show.
So let me get this straight: Sid might be a face and Sting is a
heel. What kind of bizarre world have I stumbled into?
Rating: D-. Yet somehow, I
didn’t hate this. I don’t
know if it was just the show being far less dull than their recent
disasters (namely Fall Brawl) or it actually being WAY tighter than
Monday’s nightmare, but I didn’t hate this show. Now
that being said, this show is still a disaster, wasting all kinds of
potential money and throwing stuff at the screen with the hopes that
something sticks, but it could have been worse.
these acts short was the best thing they could have done, as it keeps
the fans from getting too insulted by what they’re sitting through.
It’s a horrible show for
sure, but there’s something about it that I kind of liked. Granted
that might have just been Kimberly and Torrie looking great on
multiple occasions but the show was such a switch over the messes
I’ve been sitting through that it was hard to hate.
Speaking as someone with years and years of pent up frustration with this game, FUCK YEAH DANNY! I closest I’ve ever seen anyone else come is Mike Matei getting a decision win over on Cinemasscre, but Danny not only did that twice, but finishes the episode with a TKO. It’s sweet victory for us all.