BoD Daily Update

Original Plans for the John Cena/Kevin Owens Feud


The feud between the two was supposed to begin later this Summer but it was rushed so they could also hype up the NXT Takeover: Unstoppable show, which was on the Network this month, which was free to new subscribers.

http://wrestlechat.net/original-plans-for-owens-vs-cena-revealed-dolph-ziggler-gets-heat-for-being-dumb-and-reckless/

Dolph Ziggler Catching Heat Backstage?


After busting himself open at Payback in a match against Sheamus when using multiple headbutts, WWE Officials were not too pleased with him, saying it was “dumb and reckless.”

http://wrestlechat.net/original-plans-for-owens-vs-cena-revealed-dolph-ziggler-gets-heat-for-being-dumb-and-reckless/

Reason For Hideo Itami’s T-Shirt Getting Pulled from WWE.com


The reason the shirt was pulled is that some of the Japanese Characters on the original design were incorrect so they are going to fix that issue before adding it back to the website.

http://wrestlinginc.com/wi/news/2015/0526/595660/why-wwe-pulled-hideo-itami-t-shirt/






Samoa Joe Returning to Ring of Honor


Joe, who signed a deal to work a few dates for the WWE, will be returning to Ring of Honor at the 6/20 TV tapings, which is the day after the “Best in the World” PPV. No word on the details of his RoH contract.

http://www.f4wonline.com/more/more-top-stories/104-ring-of-honor/42723-samoa-joe-returns-to-roh

The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro–07.15.96

The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 07.15.96 Overwhelming sentiment seems to be that I should continue on with Nitro since they were getting incredibly hot and I’ve never seen these shows before anyway. So we’ll plow through until the end of the archived material in December 1996! Live from Orlando, FL Your hosts are Tony & Larry Let us take you back to a magical time called two weeks ago, when Hulk Hogan betrayed WCW and kicked off the hottest period in wrestling history. Fire & Ice v. The Steiner Brothers Norton throws Scott around to start while the announcers discuss the friction between Fire & Ice. Their name is LITERALLY “Fire and Ice”. This is somehow coming as a shock to them? You might as well call a team “Oil and Water”. Which begs the question: Why was WCW in 1990 so retarded that they never teamed up Curtis “Big Cat” Hughes with the Junkyard Dog? They could have been The Big Lazy Black Guys! Norton chokes away, but misses a blind charge and takes an overhead suplex. Rick throws Ice Train around with a suplex for two and an inverted DDT for two. Tony and Larry are just all over this “New World Order” catchphrase, and now they think more people might be joining. Norton comes in and takes over on Scott with a middle rope clothesline, but lands on a foot and it’s back to Rick. And surprise surprise they go right back to beating the hell out of each other and throwing suplexes. Powerslam gets two. Fire & Ice double-team Rick , but Train is so useless that he manages to splash his own partner and Rick throws another suplex for the pin on Ice Train at 10:00. They had a million matches and it was all big dudes throwing down. **1/2 Glacier is now coming at an indeterminate time again instead of the previously promised July 1996. Perhaps they need better time management at their ninja training center. Meanwhile, Fire & Ice split up despite the best efforts of Teddy Long. Holla playa, no more tag matches for them. Dean Malenko v. Billy Kidman This would obviously be a much more competitive match years later. At this point, Malenko clobbers him and puts him on the floor, but is unable to successfully execute a powerbomb on Kidman. Somehow I’m not surprised. Kidman comes back in with a missile dropkick for two, but Malenko takes him down with an anklelock and goes to work on the leg. Tilt-a-whirl slam gets two. Here’s the balls on WCW at this point: Tony openly brags that Sting, Giant, Flair and Savage are all absent from the show tonight, and they still beat RAW by a bazillion viewers. Give or take. Malenko chokes away and goes to a headscissors, then hits him with a whiplash slam, which Kidman reverses to a jackknife pin for two. Kidman with a bulldog out of the corner for two and goes up, but the Shooting Star Press misses and Dean kills him dead with a brainbuster and this time he CAN powerbomb Kidman. Butterfly bomb into a Texas Cloverleaf finishes for shizzle at 5:13. Remind me not to upset Dean Malenko, because he just destroyed him like the computer AI in No Mercy on Hard with a Special. ***1/4 Meanwhile, Kevin Greene is also pissed about HOLLYWOOD Hulk Hogan turning on his fans. They wasted no time in trying to ditch the “Hulk” name and replacing it with “Hollywood” so they could cut Marvel out of the deal. In fact when Hogan was originally signed they attempted to have him introduced as Hurricane Hogan for the same reason. Interesting because at the time Marvel was a pretty low point and Turner could have bought and sold the entire comics industry 100 times over. Now of course Marvel makes more off one movie than WCW ever did in their entire run, and more than WWE has ever made in a single year either, for that matter. In fact I wouldn’t be shocked if Disney bought WWE one day and added them to their IP empire. WCW tag titles: Harlem Heat v. Rough & Ready That would be Mike Enos and Dick Slater in the most generic tag team name ever. Every time I hear them I think of “Shake & Bake” from Talladega Nights. Kind of a major downgrade from Jimmy Golden for Slater. And they couldn’t spring for the $50 it would cost to get Wayne Bloom? Stevie Ray overpowers both Rough as well as Ready, but Slater tosses Booker and beats on him on the floor while a young Dean Ambrose takes notes at home, I assume. Thankfully we get clarification thanks to the embroidery on their chaps: Slater is “Rough” and Enos is “Ready”. Thank god, that one was gonna keep me up nights trying to figure it out. The Heat beats on Enos in the corner while Sherri and Parker argue over who is actually managing who here, but Sherri gets involved and kisses Dick Slater, allowing Booker to roll him up to retain at 7:38. I have no idea what the deal with the Parker-Sherri stuff was supposed to be. Did that even have a payoff? Because I remember Parker accidentally costing them the tag titles to the Outsiders in October but I don’t even remember where they went with the whole thing. ½* Meanwhile, Kevin Greene is also really upset with Mongo, and he’s literally the only person in the building who still cares about that feud with the New World Order about to overshadow everything ever. Madusa v. Malia Hosaka This is pretty random. Hosaka puts her down with a spinkick and chokes away, then goes to a chinlock. Neckbreaker and she goes up, but misses whatever as we’re under a minute to Hour #2 so you know someone is screaming at them to go home NOW. And of course Madusa finishes quickly with the german suplex at 4:08. This was no good. * HOUR #2! Hosted by Eric & Bobby. Anyone see that picture of Bobby from the convention with Ted Dibiase and Roddy Piper that was posted recently? Man that was sad. Meanwhile, Hall and Nash hang “NWO” letters over the WCW sign on the roof. You could tell this was gonna explode into the stratosphere soon. Arn Anderson v. Meng Meng puts him down with the Tongan Martial Arts and pounds away while there’s literally a fireworks show going on in the background. That’s pretty hard to compete with, even for Hour #2 of Nitro. Arn takes him down and goes after the leg. Meng comes back with those devastating back leg front kicks, and Barbarian joins us as we take a break. Back with Arn choking away and stuff while the crowd chants for Razor and Diesel. Meng with a suplex for two and he chops away, then Barbarian sneaks in for a double-team with Jimmy taking the ref, and Meng gets the pin at 10:50. Holy crap was that terrible. Just a boring, sloppy match with no heat segment or climax, and the crowd was literally distracted by the Outsiders AND a fireworks show at the same time. -* Eddie Guerrero v. Chris Benoit Benoit fires away with chops in the corner and grabs a chinlock, but Eddie reverses out of a powerbomb and hits him with a dive to the floor. Springboard senton back in and Eddie follows with a backbreaker. Benoit puts him down with a backdrop suplex and follows with a rare press slam before going to a camel clutch. Powerbomb with MUSTARD gets two. Backbreaker and Benoit works the back while Heenan questions why someone from WCW doesn’t go up and rip down the nWo banner if they’re not afraid of the Outsiders. Fine question, Bobby, and the cowardice from WCW would only get more pronounced. Benoit goes up, but Eddie catches him with a superplex. Bischoff notes that the question for WCW is “When, and whom, and where, and how many”. That’s more accurately about four questions, Eric. Eddie comes back and tries a rana, but they tumble to the floor as Dean Malenko runs down and sends Benoit into the post. Guerrero wins by countout at 9:40 off that. Bischoff notes that Benoit’s brains are scrambled from that one. Um…yeah. Usual great TV match from these two. ***1/4 Glacier is coming, OK? So just lay off him. He’s got shit to do. Ninja shit. And errands to run. Ninja errands. What are you, his mother? WCW TV title: Lex Luger v. Big Bubba I had literally forgotten that Luger was still TV champion. He’s gotta drop it to Regal pretty soon, right? Lex uses the power of grunts to dominate, but Bubba goes to the eyes with a cheapshot to take over. Luger’s doctor said he’s not supposed to get anything in his eye! Bubba continues pounding away while the Outsiders join us via limo and we take a break. Back with Bubba biting in the corner, but Luger comes back with the STAINLESS STEEL FOREARM OF DOOM and the Outsiders run in for the DQ at 9:34. We get our first ever nWo beatdown finish as Hollywood Hogan debuts the black outfit, and then they offer membership to Bubba before turning on him and tossing him out as well. Hulk finally does his post-turn interview, and he reiterates that the fans can stick it. And also Macho Man’s divorce was his own fault because he couldn’t “rise to the occasion”. And then the crowd starts PELTING the ring with garbage as Hulk promises that there’s more members to come. He promises to take the WCW title from the Giant at Hog Wild and make it into the nWo belt, which is of course exactly what happened. There was no “cool heel” heat for this, this was a crowd that was PISSED at Hogan. Talk about a money promo, as he basically talked himself into another World title reign just with this one. The Pulse A much more even show than last week, and man was that Hogan promo at the end something to behold for sheer hatred coming from the crowd. But I mean, it was no DX riding a tank or anything.

WWE Monday Night RAW – 5/25/2015

I hope everyone had a nice, safe Memorial Day and is hunkering down
with their post-BBQ drink of choice to wind down the long weekend.

RAW
has been pretty good and we’re on the cusp of Elimination Chamber
which, honestly, I can’t wait for. I will never understand why they put
Fastlane on instead of this one. EC has been WWE’s post-Rumble Sgt.
Pepper and I’m glad they booked it, despite the fact that it seems, for
all intents and purposes, to be last-second and desperate.

Let’s go, shall we?

We
start with the a nice video package paying homage to the soldiers who
died in the name of the United States — narrated by President Ronald
Reagan (who, I swear, Vince thinks is still in power) and interspersed
with various WWE superstars reciting the words to Reagan’s speech.

Cody’s wife asks us to stand in remembrance of the soldiers who passed with ten-bells salute.

We are LIVE(!!!) from Long Island, New York for Monday Night RAW!!!

Just
in case you aren’t fully fatigued by long opening segments involving
The Authority, here’s another one. Triple H, Steph, Seth Rollins,
J&J Security and Kane all come out to start us off. Rollins
sarcastically asks the crowd to cheer Ambrose, then calls him a common
“thug” which is strange since CNN and MSNBC fell all over themselves to
tell us that white people couldn’t say that word anymore. Rollins says
that Ambrose extorted his way into a Championship match. Rollins says
that The Authority can punish him by taking away the match or firing
him. Triple H and Steph aren’t enthused by the idea. Triple H says that a
verbal arrangement is locked away. But, wouldn’t ya’ know it: there
needs to be a contract signing. In fact, he has the contract and invites Ambrose out to the ring so that he can sign it.

Ambrose’s
music hits and he says that he’s been dreaming of punching Rollins
instead of sheep. He says that he will be the new face of WWE and that
there will be changes: J&J will go barefoot like “respectable
hobbits”. Kane will stop wearing a suit and will wear a collar like an
obedient lapdog which is an image I really don’t want in my head, thank
you very much. Rollins will always be Justin Bieber. The crowd hits that
chant right away. Rollins isn’t happy. He calls Ambrose a cockroach and
says that he thinks being called Justin Bieber is a compliment: Bieber
is rich and has chicks and he’s “the most successful artist of his
generation”. Well…one out of two ain’t bad. Rollins dares Ambrose to
come down.

Ambrose says that he’d rather be a cockroach
then somebody’s “human centipede”. Ambrose makes his way to the ring —
and Roman Reigns interrupts. Ambrose and Reigns bump fists. Steph says
that she finds their friendship cute. Dean has until the end of the
night to sign the contract — in the meantime, we have to sit through
Ambrose & Reigns vs. Rollins & Kane variation #73.

(We’re
back to long promos again, are we? Look, you could have just had
Ambrose lead this thing off, had the Authority attempt to jump him, THEN
set up the main event all in the space of five minutes. But, no, it’s
Ambrose fantasizing about Kane in a dog collar and Rollins being Justin
Bieber — again — and this goes on and on and on and on…wrestling
fans aren’t morons. We know what the situation is and what Ambrose needs
to do. There’s no need for this crap. We already had the needless
“party” last week. It’s time to use what intensity these two have to
really make this thing pop before EC…but, no, 15 minutes of talking
leading to another tag team abortion starring Kane is what we’re given instead.)

We go to break.

MATCH #1: WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins & Kane vs. Dean Ambrose & Roman Reigns
Ambrose
and Kane start up with Ambrose beating him from corner to corner after a
sitting dropkick and press. Reigns tags in and he tosses Kane’s head
into a turnbuckle. He suplexes Kane and tags Ambrose but Kane puts
Ambrose into his own corner and it’s a tag to Rollins. Rollins hits a
suplex for two. Rollins puts Ambrose in a headlock but Ambrose breaks
and tags Reigns and the two faces hit a double clothesline on Rollins.
Samoan Drop by Reigns as JBL wants to talk about how Nassau Coliseum is
closing its doors and how sad that is — even though they have some of
the deadest crowds ever. Reigns goes outside and sets up for the Missile
Dropkick on Rollins but J&J work their magic and Rollins slide
kicks Reigns on the distraction. Kane tosses Reigns back in for the
headlock by Rollins as Booker actually calls HHH an “Indian Giver”.
At this point, I’m convinced Booker’s doing this Kayfabe to introduce a
new segment where he apologizes for the shit he said last week. Reigns
escapes the hold and tags in Ambrose who beats up Rollins and hits a
Bulldog. He clotheslines Rollins out of the ring and hits a Flying
Lunatic. Kane comes to help out but Reigns uppercuts him. Ambrose and
Reigns stand tall in the middle of the ring.

After a
break, Rollins is back in control, hitting a shortarm clothesline on
Ambrose. Ambrose comes back with a huge clothesline and makes the hot
tag to Reigns. Kane is in on the other side. Reigns hits a clothesline
and big boot, then a series of clotheslines in the corner. J&J tries
to get involved but Reigns takes Mercury’s head off and issues a
Superman Punch to Jamie Noble. Kane attacks Reigns and goes for the
Chokeslam. Reigns escapes and hits a Superman Punch to Kane, tagging in
Ambrose. He hits a crossbody on Kane but Rollins interrupts the pin.
Rollins tags in and hits a Springboard Knee to Ambrose’s head. Rollins
goes for a kick to the head. Series of counters and Ambrose hits a
Backslide to win this thing at 12:29.
WINNERS: Ambrose & Reigns
RATING:
**. The last three minutes of this match were worth watching.
Otherwise, you’ve seen this before and it was nothing to write home
about and really cold and boring for the most part.

Post-match,
JBL goes off the handle, saying what a disaster it’s gonna be if
Ambrose wins the title at EC while Michael Cole goes insane, acting like
Ambrose pinning Rollins is something never before seen.

Kevin Connolly tweeted about RAW in Nassau. Also, him and the rest of the cast of “Entourage” is here.

Ambrose
is backstage with Renee Young. He tells her that, by the end of the
night, he will “have a signed contract”, which isn’t quite the way to
say that, but whatever. I mean, I have no idea why since the match is
already fucking booked, having been announced at the beginning of the show…

J&J
show up to tease him by faking like they have said “contract”. Noble
says, “Slap me on the head and call me ‘Sally'”, and states that they
don’t really have the contract. So Ambrose calls him “Sally” and
slaps him in the head and it’s a brawl. Oops, Ambrose belts the
cameraman which comes off as supremely awkward.

JBL and
Sotto Cole briefly argue about it while Booker adds whatever the hell
comes out of his mouth, which isn’t much and doesn’t matter because the
camera only shows JBL and Cole.

AT ELIMINATION CHAMBER: It’s Eric Owens and John Cena.

Rusev’s
out here and he’s Bulgarian again all of the sudden with Bulgarian
trunks and flag…so…we’re all supposed to…hate Bulgaria now, I
guess? He has a match…NEXT.

Oh, wait: the cast of
Entourage is here. Adrian Grenier gets out of the limo and gets about
the same reaction as Erick Rowan. All of the sudden, their theme music
kinda begins to play and fades out a little as if the Gorilla Room can’t
quite commit to this whole thing.


Anyhow, back to Rusev: we get clips of Rusev telling Lana to leave, followed by Lana leaving and then making out Ziggler later.


MATCH #2: Rusev vs. R-Truth
Truth gets a couple licks in
until Rusev hits Kick, Stomp, Accolade. Booker, during the Accolade:
“C’mon, Truth! You gotta do something here!” Yeah. Truth submits at
1:00, that’s what he does. How he’s even in the Chamber match for the IC
Title is beyond me.
WINNER: Rusev via Accolade
RATING: n/a – squash

Post-match, Rusev wants to talk, baby, please…and we go to a commercial.

When
we come back, Rusev is still calling out Lana, who finally shows up
(with a slightly altered version of Rusev’s theme) and actually says,
“You told me to come…I came.” Rusev says he knows Lana cares about him
despite his losses to John Cena. He says Lana is a woman and “all women
do things to make men pay attention.” Lana says she’s done everything
for him and says that they can still “crush America” which makes no
sense whatsoever being that Bulgaria is a member of NATO and an ally of the United States
for crying outloud. The begging goes on. Lana and Rusev hug and the
crowd boos. He wants Lana to say “three words”: “I…was wrong”. Lana is
pissed and walks out of the ring. Lana says that Rusev is wrong. He
quit. Rusev says he owns her and that she’s to get back into the ring.
Lana tells him that he’s a liar and a quitter. She leaves and gets to
the ramp. Ziggler’s music hits. The two make out on the ramp and Rusev’s
furious.

(On the one hand, I’m glad to see that
Rusev and Lana are evolving as characters, but it’s a bit weird what
they’re doing with Rusev: portraying him as this vulnerable loser who
has gotten away from Russia after losing his pride, yet aligning him
with an ally of the U.S., while he still hates the U.S. and praises
Russia and having him still scream at Lana like a misogynist pig. Pick a
lane. And why Truth? The dude’s in the EC match. Why not Zack Ryder or
Heath Slater? I know he isn’t gonna win the thing, but can we at least pretend like he’s worthy of being in it?)

Ambrose
is backstage. Seth and HHH show up. Ambrose wants his contract and
he’ll get it — even if he has to obtain it “the fun way”. HHH says that
Ambrose isn’t gonna have anymore fun tonight. He brings in two “police
officers” for the silly Arrest Spot despite the fact that a) the
cameraman waffled on the accusation, b) Seth Rollins ordered the dude to confess in front of the fucking “cops” and c) this show features guys who regularly take out timekeepers and announcers “by accident” during matches. They leave the arena in a police van after Rollins, Kane and J&J taunt Ambrose while he’s cuffed.

MATCH #3: King Barrett vs. Ryback
Ryback
hits a press and slams Barrett’s head against the mat, then a Warrior
Splash and Powerslam. He goes for the Meathook but Barrett rolls out of
the ring. Ryback chases and Barrett just slaps him in the chest hard. He
goes after the ribs and then gets back in the ring. Ryback gets back
into the ring and Barrett puts him up on the top turnbuckle, kicking at
Ryback’s ribs. Barrett hits a flying elbow from the second buckle and
gets a two count. He knees Ryback in the back. Ryback comes back with
shoulders in the corner. He tries to go second buckle but Barrett tosses
him to the mat and hits Winds of Change for two. Barrett sets up the
Bullhammer but Ryback can’t get to his feet. Barrett taunts him and
slaps at him as he’s down. Barrett gets up and hits the Spinebuster and
Shell Shock to win it at 3:51.
WINNER: Ryback via Shell Shock
RATTING:
*1/2. Ryback continues to look strong while Barrett’s just become A Guy
Walking Around in a Costume from Party City. I don’t care about either
guy. Barrett became dead to me the moment he was told to drop the “Bad
News” gimmick.

Backstage, HHH tells Steph that Ambrose is in Booking right now and there’s just no way he’ll
come back! Then the case of Entourage shows up. Each guy gets a really
weird close-up and says things like, “So happy to be here” and “Jeremy
Piven would have been here but he’s not” and “Dude, I grew up here”.
Turtle mentions getting his ass kicked by Ronda Rousey which was “fake”,
unlike when Steph actually got her ass kicked by her at WrestleMania.
The cast of Entourage leaves. Am I the only person in the world who
didn’t care for that show outside of Ari?

MATCH #4: Stardust vs. Neville
Some
quick counters and Neville hits a forearm. Stardust comes back,
twisting Neville’s injured knee against the ropes. Star hits a beautiful
Delayed Reverse Suplex, getting a one count, then puts Neville in a
Half Crab. Bo Dallas makes his way down to the ring. Stardust tries a
Side Suplex but Neville counters it, escaping to the corner. Stardust
climbs on him and the two exchange punches. Neville knocks Star to his
feet and hits a nice DDT. He whacks at his own knee to “cure it” like
Bruce Wayne’s spine in The Dark Knight Rises and hits the Red Arrow for
the win at 3:17.
WINNER: Neville via Red Arrow
RATING: 1/2 a *. Man…I like Neville. He deserves so much better than matches with Stardust and a feud with Bo Dallas.

Post-match,
Bo has a mic. He tells Neville to get up and face him and says that all
he has to do is BO-lieve. Then he kicks at Neville’s knee and leaves,
doing a victory lap.

Oh, look, the Divas are all
friends and nobody’s an enemy because it’s the Cast of Entourage! Like,
OMG! Summer can’t wait for the movie! Then they meet Zack Ryder and he’s
got this thing he’s gotta speak with The Cast of Entourage about!

Lana and Ziggler speak, inaudibly, with one another.

We get a plug for Money in the Bank.

MATCH #5: Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus
This
match again. And, once again, Cole can’t help but reference the “Kiss
Me Arse” match. Sheamus levels Ziggler in the corner and hits a lariat.
He chokes Ziggler with a knee and then puts him in a headlock. Ziggler
breaks it but takes an elbow to the face. Sheamus tosses him out of the
ring and goes after Ziggler but Ziggler tosses his head against the
table and gets back in the ring. Sheamus immediately attacks Ziggler’s
knee and goes for a Side Suplex. Ziggler counters and hits a dropkick
and clotheslines Sheamus out of the ring but Ziggler goes over as well.
Both men get up but Sheamus gets the advantage and hits a backbreaker as
Lana makes her way out from the back to the entrance ramp. We go to
break.

When we come back, Lana looks on as Ziggler is
on the attack. Sheamus catches him for the Spinning Backbreaker for a
two count. Sheamus picks him up and Ziggler fights back again, only to
take a knee to the gut. Ziggler gets back up again and fights, hitting a
chinbreaker. Ziggler hits some forearms, knocking Sheamus down. Ziggler
tries the DDT but Sheamus counters and dumps him outside. Ziggler
immediately gets up and hits a Crossbody off the top rope plus a
Fame-Asser for a close fall. A few counters later and Sheamus flies into
the ringpost. Superkick by Ziggler gets a two count. Out comes Rusev,
who smirks at Lana. Ziggler sees him running down and hits a Superkick
as he tries to enter the ring. Sheamus hits a Brogue and wins on the
distraction at 10:18.
WINNER: Sheamus via Brogue Kick
RATING: **. We’ve seen this already and it’s pretty much the same thing each time.

Post-match,
Sheamus leaves Rusev to pick Ziggler’s bones. Rusev beats Ziggler up
and it’s an Accolade while Rusev yells at Lana to “KISS HIM NOW”. He
finally lets go and leaves as Lana just glares.

NEXT: Cena’s gonna challenge someone.

Cena joins us for his usual spiel where he indulges in the crowd loving/hating him. The crowd does the Cena chant. He praises the
positive fans while the rest chant for Zack Ryder. He acknowledges the
fans that hate him and says that fans like them hope he gets knocked
down. But he always gets back up. He says he met Kevin Owens last week.
Owens destroyed him as well as The Internet and Sami Zayn. Cena says
that, at Elimination Chamber, it will be “Let’s Go Cena/Fight, Owens,
Fight” — then he shits all over it, saying that “Fight Owens Fight
doesn’t mean Win Owens Win”, so fuck the crowd. Also, hey, Long Island!
Cena loves you. So, the challenge starts now and it’s…

THE FUCKING CAST OF ENTOURAGE.

They
all stand on the entrance ramp and the arena boos them. Cena introduces
them. More heat. Cena wants to know which guy will face him. Connelly
has the mic and says they’re here to introduce a superstar who will take
him up on the challenge:

Zack Ryder.

Hooray. Nobody fucking cares. Also, the CAST OF ENTOURAGE is at ringside.

MATCH #6: John Cena (champion) vs. Zack Ryder (challenger) for the WWE United States Championship
Crowd
is surprisingly hot for Ryder as Cena hits a suplex and a headlock,
followed by another suplex. Cena squashes Ryder in the corner and tries
to follow up but Ryder gets his knees up and hits a Missile Dropkick.
Broski Boot misses and Cena hits Moves 1 through 3. 5KS by Cena but
Kevin Dillon actually enters the ring to distract Cena. Ryder
rolls Cena up on the distraction but only gets two. Ryder hits a nice
Kill Switch and gets two. Broski Boot also gets two. Rough Ryder by
Ryder gets two. THE CAST OF ENTOURAGE is going insane. Ryder misses the
450 Splash. Cena hits the AA and retains at 4:06 as the announcers
praise Zack Ryder for jobbing in THIS HISTORIC ARENA. They even declare
Ryder and Cena “friends” despite the fact that Cena let Kane eat Ryder
alive and practically fucked Ryder’s girlfriend after Kane slaughtered
him week after week.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: John Cena via AA
RATING: **. Quick match and far better than expected — but that isn’t saying much. It’s painfully obvious Ryder doesn’t have much to challenge Cena with and this felt more like a glorified squash than a real “championship match”.

Cena
gives Ryder the rub and THE CAST OF ENTOURAGE joins in the celebration.
They leave the ring — right as Owens gets in the ring to jump Cena and
hit the Pop-Up Powerbomb. He steps on the U.S. Title again and raises
the NXT Title.

Backstage, Steph praises Kevin
Owens. HHH agrees. Rollins says that Owens is awesome — but he’s still
the present and future of the WWE. Renee Young shows up (OUT OF
NOWHERE!) and shoves a mic in Steph’s face to ask about Ambrose, which
is weird since I was able to hear Steph talking without the mic
five seconds ago. She says that it’s unlikely Ambrose will ever come
back tonight. Rollins tells Renee that this is all Ambrose’s fault and
brought this on himself.

EARLIER TONIGHT: Ambrose was arrested. Not that I’m an editor or anything…but shouldn’t this have been shown before the HHH/Steph/Rollins segment?

 The Bella Twins are here — and they’re on commentary so, yes, tonight can get worse.

ON SMACKDOWN: Ryback takes on Rusev.

LAST MONDAY: Tamina and Naomi jumped Paige.

AT ELIMINATION CHAMBER: Nikki Bella faces Naomi and Paige for the WWE Divas Title.

MATCH #7: Paige vs. Tamina
Paige
slaps Tamina, then kicks her in the stomach and hits some quick knees
until Tamina sends her outside. Once back in the ring, Tamina puts Paige
in a chinlock, then tosses her to the mat. Another chinlock and Paige
fights out. Tamina fights back with punches of her own but Paige kicks
her in the face. Quick roll-up from Paige gets two as Tamina nearly runs
over Naomi on an Irish Whip. Paige hits a dropkick and Superkick and
Tamina bails from the ring. Paige hits a flipping splash to Tamina and
rolls her back in the ring. Tamina attacks Paige as she re-enters the
ring but the ref pulls her off. Naomi distracts Paige and then slaps her
which the ref should have seen as he was practically facing that
direction, but whatever. Tamina hits the Samoan Drop to beat Paige at
3:36. Tamina. Who isn’t even IN the EC Match. Beat Paige. Who is in the match.
WINNER: Tamina via Samoan Drop
RATING:
1/2 a *, if that. Nothing here. And I owe Phrederic an apology…Tamina
sucks. And it was just made ten times worse with Nikki and Brie doing the “LIKE OMG” bit on commentary. And it was made even worse than that with Paige jobbing to Tamina fucking Snuka. I don’t care if it wasn’t clean. Even with interference, that’s just fucking low.

Post-match, Nikki holds up the Divas Title as Naomi jaws at her.

We
get a look at The Rock getting his feet and hands put into cement at
Grauman’s Chinese Theater. Cole talks up “San Andreas” even though it’s a
critical flop.

The New Day enters the ring and starts yacking about injustice and how they’re being cheated. Big E mocks THIS HISTORIC ARENA and the Islanders.
New. Day Sucks over and over until Kane shows up, because reasons, and
says that “fair” is their match at EC, unlike tonight when they pretty
much face every single stable. Also, Kane isn’t wearing a shirt, meaning
that he’s been walking around for the past three hours backstage,
shirtless. What, is he farming corn back there?

MATCH #8: WWE Tag Team Champions The New Day (Xavier Woods, Big E & Kofi Kingston) vs. Cesaro & Tyson Kidd (w/ Natalya), The Primetime Players (Titus O’Neil & Damien Young), Los Matadores (Diego & Fernando) (w/ El Torito), The Ascension (Viktor & Konnor) and Lucha Dragons (Sin Cara & Kalisto) in a 10-on-3 Handicap Tag Team Match (non-title)
We
join the match after a break. Xavier has Kalisto in a Cobra Clutch but
Kalisto breaks only for Woods to knock him to the mat. Woods taunts
everyone on the other side of the ring and, fuck it. This match is over
because everyone decided to wrestle a whole lot and all at once. Mark it
at 0:51, if you care.
WINNERS: The New Day, presumably by DQ
RATING: DUD. WTF was the point of this? Why was Kane even punishing The New Day? Aren’t they all heels? And why did everyone beat the hell out of everyone but The New Day if they were all there to punish them?

Post-match,
everyone hits a spot until it’s a giant pile of muscles and tights on
the floor outside. Lucha Dragons get on the top rope for a high spot,
killing everyone below. The New Day avoids this and gets in the ring to
celebrate…whatever that was as they’re announced the “winners” by DQ.
Then Kidd comes into the ring with Cesaro. Dropkick off the Spin and,
mercifully, this ends.

Cole plugs Daniel Bryan’s new YES YES YES special.

ON THE ELIMINATION CHAMBER KICK-OFF SHOW: MizTV hosts Daniel Bryan.

EARLIER TONIGHT: Ambrose attacked J&J Security, accidentally hit a camera guy that got in the way and was arrested for it.

ALSO: Surprise! Seth Rollins was the dude who shoved the camera guy because an alternate video stream of the incident was caught by WWE’s own YouTube channel. What is this, Poirot?


Triple
H, Steph, Seth Rollins, J&J, and Kane walk to the ring to give us
the other moldy piece of bread for this shit sandwich. Rollins says that
what happened on the Sherlock App doesn’t matter because Ambrose is a
lunatic. Steph says that RAW is a show they “work hard to produce” which
is ironic, considering tonight. Steph says that the cameraman is “a
father with triplets”, then says that they can’t “talk about Ambrose
because there’s an ongoing investigation” even though we just saw Rollins shove the father with triplets into Ambrose. I just can’t…oh, then, Reigns shows up and he goes
right after every member of The Authority until THENUMBERSGAME. It’s a
mudhole stomp until Reigns throws Rollins and J&J away from him like
he’s Vigo in Ghostbusters II. For some reason, they taunt him with the
contract which they brought to the ring despite not needing it.

Then,
a police van shows up backstage and it’s Ambrose driving the thing with
a police jacket and nightstick. Cole speculates that “Ambrose was
cleared of the charges after the YouTube video surfaced” because that’s
how the law works. One could ask how Ambrose got a hold of a
police truck, but I gave up on this episode about a year ago. Or, so it
feels like it’s been a year. Anyhow, Ambrose gets in the ring and beats
Kane senseless, then goes after Rollins but loses the nightstick.
Rollins grabs it but Reigns takes it back. Ambrose and Reigns take
Rollins out of the ring. Kane gets back in to help out, beating on
Reigns while J&J try to ambush Ambrose. Reigns fights Kane off and
hits a Spear on J&J. Kane tosses Reigns from the ring but Reigns
does a stupid Ambrose-style “Rebound” and comes back with a Superman
Punch to Kane.

HHH, Steph and Rollins are at the top
of the ramp, looking unhappy. Ambrose finds the contract and signs it
and we end the show with Ambrose and Reigns standing tall.

OVERALL: Holy
shit, this was a mess. Not a total loss but, compared to the last few
eps, this was like watching Smackdown and Main Event back to back. It
was full of generic lazily-booked matches and a terrible, nonsensical
sub-plot. Let me get this straight: the main event at EC was already booked
— but only “verbally”, so HHH comes up with a scheme where Ambrose has
to “sign a contract if he can get to it” instead of…oh, I dunno, JUST
NIXING THE MATCH ALTOGETHER? Lana and Rusev were the only interesting
thing on this show and even that’s dying a slow death.

Before we go…the Best of Monday Night Open Mic:

Er…that’s it.

RAW Rundown 5-25-15

May 25, 2015

From the Nassau Coliseum in Long Island, NY

Your hosts are Booker T, JBL, and Michael Cole

Before the show starts, the WWE honors Memorial Day with a photo montage that included several Superstars and Divas giving thanks then Eden Stiles lead the crowd in a moment of silence to start off the show.

The show starts with the Authority coming out to the ring. Seth Rollins sarcastically thanks Dean Ambrose for extorting a title shot out of the Authority.  He then talks about the ridiculousness of Ambrose being a role-model for the WWE Universe as the crowd starts an “We Want Ambrose” chant. Rollins then talks about how the Authority can take Ambrose’s title shot away, and even fire him, but that he asked them not to do that before saying that Ambrose his not a threat or even “on his level.” HHH then holds out the contract in his hand as he tells Ambrose that he needs to sign in order to have a shot at the title. Ambrose comes out, to the delight of the crowd, as he tells us something might be wrong with him as instead of counting sheep, he counted “punching Seth Rollins in the face” as he talks about getting happy at the thought of beating up Rollins. He then says the next time he beats him up it will be for the WWE World Title. He then tells us when he wins the belt, he will make changes as he runs down J&J Security and give Kane a collar because he is a “lap dog.” Ambrose gets in a Justin Bieber reference aimed at Rollins as the crowd starts chanting for Bieber, as Rollins defends Bieber for being rich, famous, handsome, and the most successful artist of his generation. Rollins then tells the crowd they are jealous of Bieber like Ambrose is jealous of himself. Rollins tells Ambrose he is destined to be a loser as Ambrose finally heads down to the ring as the Authority look to pounce on him then Roman Reigns’ music hits as he comes through the crowd to stand by Ambrose. Stephanie then talks about how its cute to see these two inseparable but Ambrose needs to sign the contract before the end of the night. She also makes Ambrose & Reigns vs. Kane & Rollins and that will happen now. The segment went on for too long and some of the dialogue these writers come up with his pitiful. If it was shorter it would have been a lot more tolerable.

Roman Reigns & Dean Ambrose d. Kane & Seth Rollins when Ambrose pinned Rollins with a rollup (12:53) **.


The match started right after the commercial break. Ambrose & Reigns start the match by working over Kane. Rollins tagged in and works over Ambrose briefly as the announcers talk about the Nassau Coliseum as this will be the last WWE event to take place here as the building will be demolished. Reigns then comes in and hits Rollins with a Samoan Drop but gets distracted by J&J Security as he went for his apron kick and that allows Rollins to kick him down. Rollins grabs a chinlock on Reigns but breaks out then knocks Rollins down before tagging Ambrose, who runs wild. He hits a tope then Reigns & Ambrose stand tall as we go to break. When we return, we see that Rollins dropkicked Ambrose, who was in the tree-of-woe position during the break to regain control of the match. Ambrose came back with a clothesline then tagged Reigns, who beats down Kane until he got distracted by J&J Security. Kane tried a chokeslam but that failed as Ambrose tagged in and dropped an elbow for two. Rollins tagged and hit Ambrose with a springboard knee smash for two. Rollins tried a kick then Ambrose rebounded off of the ropes, leading to a mini-reversal sequence that ended with Ambrose getting the win with a backslide. Not much of a match and there was a surprising lack of crowd reaction here too. The announcers kept on pushing the fact that someone as unhinged as Ambrose could be the champion at Elimination Chamber, which means that he will not be winning this coming Sunday.

Renee Young tries to interview Ambrose but J&J Security interrupts. They teased having the contract for Ambrose to sign but it turned out to be false so Ambrose smiled then slapped Noble, triggering a brawl. Ambrose accidentally knocked out the camera man as J&J ran away as Ambrose was freaking out.

We are shown a video package of Kevin Owens that showed him attack Sami Zayn and then John Cena, his opponent at Elimination Chamber.

The cast of “Entourage” pull up in a limo then walk backstage.

A replay of last week’s show with Rusev yelling at Lana, telling her to leave, then having Ziggler run out to hit Rusev with the Zig Zag as they walk away together.

Rusev d. R-Truth with the Accolade (1:00) 1/4*


R-Truth lands a few punches before hitting a back elbow smash. Rusev catches R-Truth with the super kick then stomps on his back before getting the win with the Accolade. A nothing match and why even bother having R-Truth in the IC Title Elimination Chamber match if he is jobbing in a minute on TV? Or better yet, have Rusev destroy one of the other geeks on the roster that barely get used.

After the match, Rusev grabs the mic and then begs Lana to come down to the ring so they can talk. Rusev begged throughout the commercial break as when we came back, Lana walked down to the ring. Rusev then tells Lana that she is doing this for attention as he talks about meeting for the first time in Bulgaria as a “USA” chant breaks out. Rusev then asks for her hand so all will be forgotten as they can conquer their dreams together and crush America. Lana accepts and grabs his hand as they parade around the ring for a bit. Rusev then wants her to say that she was wrong but Lana gets pissed off then walks away as Rusev tells her as long as she admits it was her fault everything will be back to normal. Lana then said that he was wrong as he did say “I quit” as Rusev is now furious as he tells her that she needs to know her place and that he even owns her as he demands Lana stand by him. Lana tells Rusev he is a liar and a quitter, not to mention a coward who does not take responsibility for his action. Lana says he does not own her and will no longer listen to his “caveman” ways as she then walks away, with the crowd loudly cheering. As Rusev screams, Ziggler’s music hits, causing Lana to smile as they make out on the ramp, with Rusev losing his mind in the ring. Rusev was tremendous here. He has vastly improved over the past few months in all aspects of wrestling. I was really impressed with him here and hope he does not get lost in the shuffle after this is finished.

Ambrose is in the locker room with Rollins and HHH. He is expecting to sign the title match contract but instead the cameraman walks in with two police officers. He is asked if he wants to press charges but says no as he felt someone shove him from behind. Seth promptly tells the cameraman to shut up as the officers take Ambrose away, with Seth and HHH laughing it up. The arrest angle stuff is a tired trope in wrestling and really not much of a way to build heat in 2015.

Rollins, J&J Security, and Kane are celebrating backstage after watching Ambrose get hauled off.

Ryback d. King Barrett with the Shell-Shock (3:54) *1/2


Ryback is still selling the rib injuries he suffered from Bray Wyatt at Payback. Ryback takes control early as he slams Barrett around. Barrett ducked outside where he caught Ryback with a kick to the ribs. Back inside, Barrett continued to attack the ribs of Ryback then worked a surfboard briefly until Ryback backed Barrett into the corner. Barrett yanks Ryback off of the top then hit the Winds of Change but Ryback kicked out. Barrett set up for the Bullhammer then taunted Ryback, who immediately hit him with a spinebuster then got the win with the Shell-Shock. Match was fine for what it was and it looks like they are positioning Rusev and Ryback as the favorites for the IC Title.

Backstage, Stephanie & HHH are talking about Ambrose, who HHH feels will not get out of central booking. The cast of Entourage come in as they yuck it up with Kevin Dillon getting in a “SummerFest” dig at Jeremy Piven as Jerry Ferrara brings up his scene in the film with Ronda Rousey and how Stephanie knows about her from WrestleMania. Stephanie then tells them that their dressing room is down the hall as they quietly walk away, with the Authority staring them down. Fine for a celebrity cameo segment. The Entourage guys all seem happy to be there for the most part. Adrian Grenier was the exception.

A quick montage of “Tough Enough” audition tapes are shown.

Neville d. Stardust with the Red Arrow (3:18) *. 


Before the match, Stardust was getting into the face of actor Stephen Amell, who was sitting at ringside. It was also announced that Neville will face Bo Dallas at Elimination Chamber. Neville is still selling his left knee. Stardust takes control with a Dragon Screw after Neville build up some offense to start the match. Startdust hit a delayed gordbuster for two. Bo Dallas came out to the ring and shouted off words of inspiration to Neville, who fought back and hit a tornado DDT then got the win with the Red Arrow. After the match, Dallas came into the ring and told Neville he could pick himself back up as long as he Bo-lieved then he dropkicked Neville in the knee as soon as he got up and celebrated that with a victory lap around the ring. The crowd didnt really seem to care about any of this but its a fine lower midcard feud and keeps Neville fresh until something better comes along.

Kevin Dillon and Adrien Grenier tell Ferrara that he has to watch out what he says then Kevin Connolly is shown with Zack Ryder as they go into their locker room while divas Summer Rae, Layla, Alicia Fox, and Emma fawn all over the cast, who are all with Ryder behind closed doors devising some sort of plan.

An ad for “Money in the Bank,” which will take place on June 14th.

Sheamus d. Dolph Ziggler with the Brogue Kick (10:20) **1/2. 


Sheamus beats on Ziggler to start the match as the announcers talk about the situation between Ziggler and Lana. Ziggler gets outsmarted by Sheamus, who backed himself into the corner, but was able to come back with a dropkick. They spill outside where Sheamus catches Ziggler with a tilt-a-whirl slam to the floor as we go to break. When we return, Sheamus gets two with a backbreaker as the camera shows Lana standing on the ramp. Ziggler fights back and hits a jawbreaker. He then slugs away as Lana is shown smiling. He heads up top and hits a crossbody, followed by a Rocker Dropper for a nearfall. Rusev comes out and smirks at Lana as he walked by her then distracts Ziggler, who walks into a Brogue Kick as Sheamus gets the win. After the match, Rusev beats on Ziggler and puts him in the Accolade as Lana looks on as she stares straight ahead. The match was nothing new, its been like  times over the past month or so, but the post-match stuff with Rusev and Lana was intriguing at least.

A replay of last week’s “U.S. Title Open Challenge” when Owens attacked John Cena.

Cena comes out for the Open Challenge. He first addresses the “Let’s go Cena, Cena Sucks” chant then says how some fight with him while some fight against him as the crowd starts up that chant. Cena then pauses so the crowd can finish their “We Want Ryder” chant as he goes back to more or less the same promo he has been cutting for years with regards to the crowd reaction. He then tells us those who chant that he sucks are the same people for Kevin Owens and his actions, like injuring his friend. Cena then tells the crowd “Fight, Owens, Fight” might replace the “Cena Sucks” portion of his chant then talks about tonight and who will answer his open challenge. The theme song to “Entourage” hits as the cast comes out. Connolly tells Cena they are here to introduce a superstar that is from Long Island as they welcome Zack Ryder, who gets a nice hometown reaction. Cena is easily the best at working the crowd on the current roster and even gave them a new chant to use for his Elimination Chamber match.

John Cena d. Zack Ryder with the A.A. (4:05) **


The cast of “Entourage” sat at ringside. Cena took control early until Ryder got his knees up on a charge. Ryder came back with a missile dropkick but Cena eluded a Broski Boot attempt then hit a shoulder tackle. He went for the Five Knuckle Shuffle then Kevin Dillon got into the ring and teased going after Cena but eventually left as Ryder got a rollup for two. Ryder finally hit the Broski Boot as the crowd was digging the comeback. He hit the Rough Ryder for two but missed a 450 splash then fell victim to the A.A. After the match, Cena raised the hand of Ryder as the cast of Entourage joined them all then left but when they did, Kevin Owens appeared and hit Cena with the pop-up powerbomb as he stood over Cena with his NXT Title, while stepping on the U.S. Title. As far as the match, I felt happy for Ryder as this is likely the last time he will get a reaction like he had tonight as the building is closing. He looked genuinely ecstatic too. Also, he just turned 30 years old over a week ago, which is nuts as he has been here for about 9 years. Unfortunately for him, he has been cemented as a job guy here and is just not that good of a wrestler. The post-match angle with Owens was great as they are really putting him over strong for this match, which is one that I am really looking forward to this Sunday.

Backstage, Stephanie tells HHH that she is impressed by him and that he is scary as Rollins tells them he knows Owens but not to get carried away as he is still the present and the future. Renee Young interrupts to ask Stephanie about Ambrose and the World Title situation as she says they will decide about the title at the end of the night.

A recap of the events that led to Ambrose getting arrested.

The Bella Twins come out to join us on commentary before the break for the Paige vs. Tamina match.

An ad for Smackdown, plugging a match between Ryback and Rusev

Tamina d. Paige with a Samoan Drop (3:35) -*. 


Before the match we got a replay of Paige returning to attack Tamina and Naomi before hitting Nikki with the Rampage. We also learn that Naomi vs. Paige vs. Nikki will take place at Elimination Chamber for the Diva’s Title. Tamina booted Paige to the floor after a brief exchange. Back inside, she worked a neck vise as the Bellas are talking about last week’s events. Paige fought back and got a rollup for two. She hits a few clotheslines and a dropkick then takes her out with a senton from the apron. Tamina cuts off Paige then distracts the ref, allowing Naomi to cheap shot Paige then she gets the win with the Samoan Drop. Tamina was dreadful in this match and wrestled like someone who does not belong on NXT TV, nevermind the WWE. The Bellas were grating on commentary as they rambled on throughout the match.

The New Day head out to the ring before the break.

Back from break, the New Day tell us that they are being persecuted against for being positive as they are forced to defend against five other teams inside of the Elimination Chamber. Big E riled up the crowd by dissing the New York Islanders. The crowd starts a “New Day Sucks” chant until Kane interrupts. He tells them they have a 1 in 6 chance of winning so that is fair but what is not fair is the match tonight as they will be facing the other five teams in the EC Match

New Day d Tyson Kidd & Cesaro w/ Natalya & Prime Time Players & Los Matadores & Ascension & Lucha Dragons by DQ (0:49). 


The match started during the break. Xavier hit Kalisto with a clothesline then taunted the other teams, who all ran into the ring and that triggered a brawl that saw everyone attack each other until the New Day were the last team standing. However, Kidd broke that up with a springboard dropkick then Cesaro put Woods in the giant swing. They certainly made sure to have New Day and Kidd & Cesaro as the top teams in this match as the others all came off looking like spare parts.

A plug for the new Daniel Bryan DVD, including a sneak peak on the Network

Daniel Bryan will be a guest on Miz TV as part of the Elimination Chamber Kickoff Show.

Another replay, courtesy of YouTube, of Ambrose hitting the cameraman as we clearly see Rollins push him forward, putting him in danger.

The Authority come out to the ring as Stephanie tells us that the cameraman who got assaulted has triplets as she uses a lot of vague corporate terms to describe the situation as HHH tells us all Ambrose had to do was sign a contract. He is about to announce the title match plans but Roman Reigns’  music hits as he attacks Rollins but is soon outnumbered. As Reigns gets beaten down, Rollins puts the contract in his face then we hear sirens as a police wagon driven by Ambrose appears at ringside. Ambrose comes out with a pair of nightsticks as he runs into the ring and cleans house. Reigns grabs a nightstick from Rollins and beats him up with that then spears both members of J&J Security at the same time. Ambrose then stares down the Authority and Rollins, who are on the ramp, as Reigns hands him the contract that he signs then jaws with Rollins as the show goes off the air. A predictable and uninspiring ending to the show. Although I thought that Stephanie was entertaining.

Final Thoughts: Overall, this show was mediocre. It was nowhere near as good as the past few weeks. I understand that being on Memorial Day this show will not draw as high of a rating than normal so they are not going to pull out the big guns but the show-long Ambrose storyline was a really lame idea. It was nice to see him standing tall at the end but how they got there was not too exciting. I also thought they took a step back in building the tag team division as they made everyone but the New Day and Kidd & Cesaro look like scrubs here. And the Diva’s Division is a trainwreck at the moment. The main storyline is a jumbled mess. There were some positives here as Rusev/Lana did good work and the Cena/Owens build has been fantastic. The Entourage stuff was harmless and inoffensive. Elimination Chamber should have a few decent matches on paper and I want to see how they can pull off the Tag Team Match and I think they did an okay job at building up that show tonight. I suspect that next Monday they start more angle advancement and planning than they did here.





BoD RAW

This has nothing to do with the WWE

It’s the BOD World Champion, Jeff Vinson! We’re in the center of the ring and here’s your world champion, with his lovely (and affordable) valet holding the mic for him:
Vinson: Last week, myself and Cultstatus signed the contract for what is sure to be a momentous battle for THIS BoD World Championship….that I am sure to be victorious in. Also last week at the hotel later, my valet proved that barking like a dog isn’t an unattractive character trait, especially when she’s as naked as the day she was born, oui? But I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here because the new GM, Bobby Bayless, told me that I was getting an appreciation celebration for how awesome a champion and representative for the BOD I’ve been for since BODMania. And let me tell you something, just between you and me….no one deserves this more. See, ever since I won the World title, the demands on my time have been extreme – from visiting children at hospitals whose last wish was to see a World Wrestling Champion….well, sending the valet with a cardboard cutout and a pre-recorded message on my phone, if that counts. Media appearances, from podcast to podcast, I know Jericho is gonna call any day now, it all just runs together. So, let’s do this! Bring on the balloons and let the celebration begin!
The theme from “Punky Brewster” plays and here’s our GM, Bobby Bayless!
Bobby: Jeff Vinson! Dude, I’ve been so looking forward to this! We haven’t even had a real chance to meet before, man! You’ve always been so busy, and me, well, that ABC afterschool special where Adam Sandler played a drug dealer wasn’t going to watch itself, am I right? (Laughs) Ah, but I learned a valuable lesson from that one. Anyway, it’s so good to see you, man!
Vinson: Yeah, yeah. Good to see you too, man. Nice to meet you and all that. Hey, were there going to be chicks at this appreciation?
Bobby: Yeah, so, listen, I gotta come clean. I didn’t exactly invite you to anything, man. I just saw you out here when I switched to the monitor feed, and saw you, and decided I needed to come out and say hi!
Vinson: Wait….so, if you didn’t –
WHAM! It’s Cultstatus! He was the fan in the front row dressed in the #1 Vinson fan gear! And he’s taking it to the BoD World champion! Left, right, left, right, Vinson off the ropes and Cult DROPS him with a huge powerbomb! And Vinson has been sent to the floor! And here’s Vinson’s valet from behind with the big SLAP across the face of Cultstatus! Cult takes it, and he smiles! He grabs Vinson’s valet and puts her over his knee and here’s a spanking! I think the valet likes it! She’s screaming ‘ooh-la-la’ as Cult finishes and bends her over for the Greco-Roman liplock! Vinson’s valet’s world has been rocked! She’s in a daze on the mat as Cult rules the ring, while Vinson clutches his belt and screams at him from the outside! Bobby Bayless loves it!

Let’s check out Biscuit as the takes the bus to the show:

(We are at a bust stop after last week’s BoD RAW in Cincinnati as Biscuit tries to make it to the house shows in New York this weekend. He has his shopping bag filled with Slim Jims, beer nuts, and a can of Milwakuee’s Best)

Biscuit: (Sees a man at the bus stop). Is this going up to New York?
Man: (turns away and lights up a cigarette) Not sure.
Biscuit: (Sees the Drivers, Juvydriver and Spicollidriver): Is this how you are getting to the show?
Drivers: We are the drivers and we take the bus (points toward the oncoming bus, which stops by)
Biscuit: (Looks for change in his pocket but realizes someone cut out a hole in them. He panics then looks up as the bus pulls away).
Man: Here, take this pass (Hands Biscuit a bus pass). The next bus to where you want to go comes in five minutes.
Biscuit: Thank you. (Biscuit seems a bit skeptical here).


We will check in with Biscuit later in the show.

Rockstar Gary, Justice Gray, and Brian Bayless are in the locker room. 

Rockstar: Explain to me again why we can’t have the whiskey, Bayless?
Bayless: (Frustrated) Because training while drinking is insane, Gary. 
Rockstar: Worked for us before.
Bayless: No it didn’t! You’re going nowhere!
Rockstar: We’re the number one contenders for the 6-man titles! We earned that!
Bayless: My idiot cousin Bobby made you the number one contenders. You didn’t actually win a match.
Rockstar: Yeah, like I said! We earned it!
Bayless: (Stares at Gary, sighs. Turns to Justice) You want to weigh in here?
Justice: Can’t. Bobby wants me to go to McDonalds and buy Happy Meals until I get one specific toy that he wants. Said not to leave until I had it. I’m leaving it to you guys to train. Has anyone seen Baker?
Rockstar: Last I heard, he really hit it off with one of his cellmates from last week. Said he’s the Daniel Bryan of his dreams, whatever that means. Don’t think he made the trip with us. 
Justice: Well, shit. Who’s going to train you guys and give you shit all the time and make you feel like you’re wasting your time caring about this crap while he lords over you with a sense of undeserved superiority. (Pause) Wait a second! Has anyone seen…..Dougie?

Marv Cresto & Art Macklin vs. Koko B. Flair & Redstorm11


Marv is back!!!!!! The stent is out and he isnt tanked at the ballpark!!!!!! Marv starts the match by dominating Flair. Art tags in and he is as fucking fearless as ever. He slingshots Redstorm back into the ring then stomps away. Marv laughs at Art from the apron but god-dammit Art does not care. HE IS A MAN WITHOUT FEAR!!!!!!!!!!!! Art hits the most dangerous atomic drop we have ever seen then Marv tags in and ends this match with the Ednabuster. After the match, we see the Fat Otters on the Screen:

Caliber: Marv, Art, next week at BoD Payback, we are shutting you down like the squat rack at Planet Fitness. 
Meekin: Its over, guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


There you have it: A fearless man and a guy who recently had a stent in his cock team up to face off against Fat Otters. Only in the BoD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Backstage, TimeandtheRani and Dean Andrews are with the writers, who hand the guys their lines. Bobby Bayless comes in and is smiling:

Bobby: Hey, pals! My guys wrote you a script. Patty (The Seamtress) !!!!!! Show the guys there new costumes, HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Patty comes out with two cowboy costumes that feature a union jack and a shrimp on the left legs.)
Bobby: (Smiling in anticipation of the two being happy) So, uh, whaddya think!!!!!!!
TatR: Um, I am confused on what I am supposed to be here. 
Bobby: Well pal, read the lines and act it out, HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TatR: (Reading the lines) “Hey matey, let’s go down to the Ponderosa and throw another shrimp on the barbie
Dean: (Reading the lines) “Howdy doody, buckeroo!!!!! I’ll bring the crumpets”
Bobby: (Uncontrollably laughing like a moron) HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (The two writers are in the background, proud of their comedy)


Brian Bayless walks by then sees Average Joe Everyman:

Brian: Did you just hear that? These fucking idiots cannot even get their racial stereotypes straight! And the Big Man from Saskatoon gives him the book!
Joe: Hey man, you got any booze on you? I ran out and left my car keys in my bag (Points to a bag 50 feet away).
Brian (Repulsed) No, and maybe you take this as a sign to quit. 
Joe: I haven’t quit a day in my life. (Goes off too  get more booze)





Bill Ray vs Wiffle Bat
Bill Ray has the stick! 
Bill Ray: Coming soon, I get my revenge on that waste of space, John Petuka! And as for you, kbjone, you and I don’t have an issue, but that could change if you get in my way. Let’s do this!
Bill Ray tosses his bat to the corner and here we go! Lockup in the center of the ring, and Ray grabs a headlock, cranking on it until Bat backs him into the ropes, shoots him off, and Bat comes out with a lariat! Andrews picks him up and sends him to the corner, but Ray moves on the blind charge and there’s a German suplex! Ray holds on for the second! And here comes the third…..but here’s kbjone with his chair! Chairshot to Bill Ray! Chairshot to Wiffle Bat! Chairshot to the referee! We’re in a wide shot because the camera man has run for the hills! kbjone has the mic:
kbjone: Hitting people with chairs is fun, but it should be done safely, kids! Like, make sure you hit everyone! Also, I like beer. And tacos. And I think I may have lost a bit of whatever they call ‘it’, you know, and I think I may want to hit Petuka a few times until his head resembles a Picasso painting! Later, suckers!
Speaking of Petuka, he’s backstage watching on the monitor, when Wade Michael Meltzer comes up to him. 

Wade: John, what is your reaction to this declaration from your former tag team partner?
Petuka: My reaction? My REACTION? Please. Look, kbjone has been a thorn in my side for a long time – I carried him on my back for a long time, and frankly, it’s just sad to see what he’s become. It makes me realize that the greatness of Petuka can’t rub off on people, that it needs a Petuka-strong shell to contain itself. I understand that now. I understand that it’s truly a great thing that I do, just being John Petuka. And I know that I must become the BoD World champion not just for me, but for all of you! I must spread that light to all of you by becoming the Champ. So I’ll take care of Bill Ray and kbjone and move on to the belt I was born to hold, because I’m John Petuka. As for you, Wade….I hate to tell you this, but your brush with Petuka is OVER! (He swipes the mic out of Wade’s hand to the ground, laughing as he walks away)

PrimeTime Ten vs. The Brazilian Psycho


PTT comes to the ring holding the Canadian timekeeper awards that he stole from Mister E Mahn. He has on his Wayne Gretzky jersey as he taunts the fill-in timekeeper, Blake Littlehand. PTT then attacks TBP from behind as the match begins. PTT hits a slam then drops an elbow for two as he works a chinlock, screaming that he is in fact, Wayne Gretzky while pointing at his opponent, calling him Alexandre Daigle. PTT stays in control until he misses a clothesline from the top. TBP fights back and now has control of the match. TBP hits a springboard dropkick and now climbs up top but PTT shoves the ref into the ropes to cut him off. PTT hits a superplex and picks him up but all of a sudden, we hear the music played to cut off long-winded speeches at award shows. PTT stops and looks around. He goes back and the music plays again!!!!!!! He looks up then Mister E Mahn comes down the aisle and stops half way. PTT screams that Mister E Mahn is Alexandre Daigle while he is Wayne Gretzky but as that happens, TBP gets up and school boys PTT up quickly for a win. PTT gets up and flips out, yelling that Mister E Mahn was not supposed to be here today. Mister E Mahn then runs down and reclaims his trophies, as he then raises then up for the crowd to see as PTT is in disbelief.

Backstage, the writers are now with Peyton Drinking and Jose Gomez. Bobby runs up to them and tells them about their new characters. Patty brings over a headdress then puts a red dot on their foreheads. He also has the animal handler bring out a camel.

Bobby: Hey pals! You’re gunna be Indians. HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Gomez and Peyton are in disbelief)
Bobby: (Smiling like the dipshit that he is) Read your lines, guys!!!!!!!!!
(Gomez and Peyton shake their heads as they read over their script)
Gomez: Me have wompum for you (Repeatedly puts hand against mouth to make a “woo” sound)
Peyton: I am a native Indian, from Indiana, and this is my land and we not let white man with shrimp and crumpets burn down my teepee. (Puts his hands over his face because of how idiotic this is)
Bobby: (Laughing like a complete moron) HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COWBOYS AND INJUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Brian walks by and see this take place. He sees Rockstar Gary:

Brian: Can you believe this idiot is having writers write out his moronic ideas for his own entertainment. He confused people from Indiana with Native Americans and those actually from India. 
Gary: I didn’t like it, boss
Brian: I’m not the boss and that’s the fucking problem. (Brian kicks over the barrell as “Baby, you a rich man” blasts through the speakers. 



Back in the locker room, Biff Kensington has a few choice words for all of us:
Biff: Over the past few weeks, we’ve been threatened by this terrorist named Archie Stackhouse. And while I’m not scared of a delusional high school student wannabe, I have to say that after all the wonderful talent that I’ve brought to the BoD, I expected a better reception for the greatness of Kensington Enterprises than cheering that idiot. You fans have let me down for the last time. From here on in, Kensington Enterprises is going to take over th- 
THE LIGHTS GO OUT! All we hear is Biff’s labored breathing, and then the voice of Robert Davis: 
Davis: Repent your sins, Biff Kensington. The reaper is almost here. Welcome….to The End.
The lights come back on…..and Biff is wearing a Riverdale Jacket! He freaks out and throws it to the ground, stomping on it as though it were on fire
Due to their commitment of the BoD Dancin’ For Da Troops Event, the DDH & FunkDoc1112 are not here tonight but they will be facing Night & X Man in a Harlem Street Fight at BoD Payback
Wade Michael Meltzer is with Parallax. Wade asks him some questions between eight plugs for his VIP site but Parallax stays quiet until he rips the microphone from Wade’s hand: 
“Jobber, BoD Payback, that is where I will do my talking. And in case you are too high to realize, I am challenging you to a match.”

Parallax looks down at the mic, pauses, then whacks Wade with it before hitting the curbstomp. Parallax then walks off as he presumably leaves for the nearest Whole Foods where he nourishes his body with cage-free, fair-trade, organic produce. 
Folks, the footage of Biscuit on the bus has reportedly gone missing. We will have updates as to what happened next week. 
Anchor Cheese Presents: Champion vs. Champion Match
DBSM w/ the C-List Posse vs. Kaptain Kiwi w/ The Brothers Garea

No titles are on the line as this is all for pride. The C-List posse have been reportedly arguing all week long, with Mark Linn-Baker and Jamiroquai almost trading blows at Dave & Busters during an air hockey game. Both guys trade stuff on the mat as the C-List posse all appear to be doing their on thing in the front row. Kiwi uses a jumping side headlock takeover and works that on a match as the Brothers Garea look on-stoned face. DBSM makes it to the ropes then outsmarts Kiwi, who spills out to the floor. DBSM works the leg back inside as the tension brews among the C-List posse as the guy who played Waldo from “Family Matters” and Mark Linn-Baker start arguing as a psychotic Steve Decker smashes a novelty gavel against the guardrail, screaming “ORDER IN THE COURT!!!!!” Steve is taking is Fantasy Baseball GM duty a bit too seriously. DBSM sees this take place and wants them to get it together but turns around a gets taken down with a hiptoss as its……………….THE FIVE MOVES OF SNOOZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He caps it off with the Garea Stretch. DBSM struggles but makes it to the ropes as Steve Decker is screaming “EDDIE TAUBENSEE IS A DEAD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Kiwi goes for a crossbody but DBSM ducks then covers while holding the trunks but that only gets two. DBSM gets a bit irritated as Harvey Grant walks off as Mark Linn-Baker and the guy who played Waldo are yelling about the 1992 ABC Christmas party. As this happens, Kiwi gets up and catches DBSM in a small package for the win!!!!!!!!!!!! DBSM is pissed as he sees Steve Decker smashing the novelty gavel repeatedly as he tells us all he sentenced Todd Pratt to a life-sentence in the Gulf Coast League. After the match ends, a giant Anchor Cheese banner drops from the ceiling as the dancing kiwifruit trees holding American Flags come out ringside. 
HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY




BoD Daily Update

WWE.com RAW Preview

http://www.wwe.com/shows/raw/2015-05-25/five-point-preview-27417327

Who Was Behind Lana’s Babyface Turn?

Vince McMahon was the driving force behind Lana’s face turn, believing that she was “too hot and blonde to be a heel,” which is why they put her with Dolph Ziggler.

http://wrestlechat.net/wwe-nixes-big-plans-to-reform-group-more-on-lana-being-teamed-with-dolph-ziggler/

Update on Wyatt Family Reunion Rumors

Despite rumblings that the Wyatt Family would be reunited, along with Bo Dallas added to the group, the plans were scrapped last weekend.

http://wrestlechat.net/wwe-nixes-big-plans-to-reform-group-more-on-lana-being-teamed-with-dolph-ziggler/

WWE Talent Returning to Action at This Weekend’s House Shows

Big Show, Brad Maddox, and Layla all returned to action at this past Saturday at the house show in Utica, NY

http://wrestlinginc.com/wi/news/2015/0524/595600/wwe-live-event-results/


Former WWE Writer Kevin Eck Blogs About the Daniel Bryan/AJ Lee Storyline

http://kevineckwrestling.sportsblog.com/posts/2506493/the-story-of-daniel-bryan–aj-lee-and-me.html

Gobbledy gooker


Was what we got really the idea they originally wanted? Like THAT was planned out? As a kid I totally thought it was going to be the million dollar man's mystery partner. Which would have been funny to see taker come out of the egg.

​Yes, that was really what they wanted.  They thought a Thanksgiving mascot was legitimately going to be this huge hit with kids, but of course the problem was that it was hyped like a wrestler debuting and expectations were raised too high in the wrong direction.  I think if they had just been like "And oh yeah, we'll debut our stupid dancing turkey, yee haw" then people might have panned it but then immediately forgotten it and moved on.  It was really the egg that sunk it and turned into the legendary bomb it was.  ​

WWF Wrestling Challenge June 21st, 1987

June 21, 1987

From the War Memorial in Rochester, NY

Your hosts are Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon

In action this week are the Islanders, Honky Tonk Man, Ken Patera, Koko B. Ware, and Demolition

Paul Roma vs. Honky Tonk Man w/ Jimmy Hart

Honky immediately goes to work on the arm of Roma, who fights back and hits an atomic drop. Roma comes back with a nice dropkick then a slam but misses an elbow drop. Honky beats down Roma then taunts the crowd before going to work in the corner. We get an insert promo from Randy Savage, thanking Honky for taking care of Ricky Steamboat as he proclaims he will climb to the top and beat Hogan. Back to the match as Honky catches Roma with an elbow to the neck before hitting the Shake, Rattle, and Roll for the win (1:57). After the match, Honky dedicates his win to the fans then begins to dance.

Thoughts: Honky continues to get massive heel heat. The most hated WWF wrestler in 1987 if I had to choose.



Wrestler’s Rebuttal with Craig DeGeorge. He is with the British Bulldogs and Matilda as Davey tells us that Matilda gives them advice. A waste of thirty seconds.

Rick Renslow vs. Ken Patera

Before the match, Patera points at Heenan, who goes off about Patera being a “violent animal.” Patera shoves down Renslow a few times. Heenan puts down Patera constantly as Renslow takes a breather outside. Back in the ring, Renslow uses an eye rake but Patera fights back and slams him down. He follows with a suplex before getting the win with a bearhug (2:12).

Thoughts: Patera’s push continues to fizzle out as not even Heenan could ignite their feud. Patera had nothing left in the ring.

Gene Okerlund puts over the Tag Team Division before bringing out the Can-Am Connection. Martel puts over all the teams then wants to know why the Islanders aligned with Heenan in a promo that seemed like a struggle. Zenk then promises they will be all over the Islanders. Rough promo from these two.

Scott Casey & “Leaping” Lanny Poffo vs. The Islanders w/ Bobby Heenan

Poffo’s pre match promo involved the Can-Am Connection beating the Islanders. Johnny V. has replaced Heenan on commentary for this match, sounding more drunk than usual. Casey takes Tama over after an Irish whip sequence. Haku tags in and gets taken down with a few arm drags but is able to come back with a chop. The Islanders double-team Casey for a bit as they are in control of the match. Casey dodges a splash and tags out as Poffo runs wild. The match breaks down until Casey gets dumped then Poffo misses a dropkick as the Islanders hit the double diving headbutt for the win (3:27).

Thoughts: The heel push for the Islanders continues as their feud with the Can-Am Connection is getting a lot of TV time.

Okerlund is with Bob Orton & Don Muraco and brings up rumors of dissention between the two. Muraco tells us that sometimes in the heat of battle you can lose control but can easily rectify the situation as Orton says everything is alright and that they are ready to take on the competition. Muraco then cuts off Orton as he was talking as they are now both talking over each other. These two will be splitting soon.

Johnny K-9 vs. Koko B. Ware

Koko hits a backdrop as the announcers plug the WWF Magazine and how its now a monthly publication. Koko then hits a dropkick as the camera zooms in on Frankie. Koko gets the crowd going as K-9 takes a breather. Back to the action as Koko catches K-9 with a slam then hits a missile dropkick before hitting the Ghostbuster for the win (2:10). Man, that looked vicious.

Thoughts: Koko looked good here but had nothing going on at this point other than a feud against Danny Davis at house shows.

DeGeorge is with Danny Davis, who says the officiating has gone downhill since he was let go, something DeGeorge disagrees with. Davis then warns everyone that he is even better as a wrestler. Too bad his ring work never matched his mic skills because he could have been something.

Billy Jack Haynes tells us that he does not smoke, drink, or take drugs as there is not one positive thing you can get out of drugs as he pleads with the kids that drugs are negative while they are a positive influence to the world. This happened.

A repeat of the latest update on Superstar Billy Graham from this week’s “Superstars of Wrestling.”

One Man Gang w/ Slick vs. Brian Costello

Gang destroys Costello in the corner as Gorilla asks Heenan about Bundy and how he abuses the midget wrestlers. Costello is now in the tree-of-woe as Gang chokes him out with his foot. Gang roughs up Costello some more until he puts him away with a gordbuster (1:53).

Thoughts: Odd to see after a few weeks of putting over the Master Blaster that Gang switched to a new finisher.



Jim Powers & Jerry Allen vs. Demolition w/ Mr. Fuji

Ax beats on Powers as we get an insert promo from Fuji, telling us that Demolition will destroy every other team in the WWF. Smash now beats on Powers as Heenan proclaims that Demolition will not last ten minutes against the Islanders. Allen tags in and also gets destroyed. Ax clotheslines Allen over the top rope then they slam him repeatedly when he re-enters the ring then Demolition get the win with the Decapitation (3:45).

Thoughts: Total domination by Demolition here. They were such an awesome team.



Okerlund is with Randy Savage, who still states he is happy that the Honky Tonk Man beat Steamboat for the IC belt as he is now going to beat Hulk Hogan for the Heavyweight Title. Savage then guarantees he will win and is now doing things his own way as the “Macho Madness Bandwagon” has surpassed Hulkamania. Okerlund then brings up Elizabeth and when she is coming back with him for the interviews as Savage yells at him. They are subtle in planting the seeds for Savage’s face turn. In hindsight, it was very well done.

Next week in action will be Randy Savage, Can-Am Connection, and Greg Valentine vs. Raymond Rougeau

Final Thoughts: Not that bad of a show but again, the company was in a downswing here. I dont have a lot more to add other than that but I dont have a copy of the 6/27 edition of Superstars (which featured the first-ever Million Dollar Man vignette) so I will skip to the 6/28 edition of Challenge this Tuesday.





Barber Heel Turn?


Scott, 


Hulk Hogan feuded with Mr. Perfect in late '89-early '90. At the same time, I remember an angle run on TV where Brutus Beefcake had a run in with "The Model" Rick Martel

​​

, cutting up his clothes that he had been modelling, kick off a feud between those two. Then it seemed that it was abruptly changed, when Beefcake had a run in with Mr. Perfect at the Royal Rumble, totally no-selling the run in he had with Martel a couple weeks before. 


It seems to me that Beefcake was being put in a feud with a guy who was a hot heel at the time, with the heat from the Hogan-Perfect feud now being transferred to Beefcake-Perfect. Then Beefcake gets into the career-defining accident, cutting everything off. 

Given that Hogan got his feud with Beefcake at Starrcade '94, do you think that Beefcake was being groomed as yet another "Hogan friend turned enemy" run, if he had not gotten into the accident?

​I doubt it.  Beefcake already had his run with Hulk in 85 and didn't do any business, so I don't see them bothering with another try in 91. Clearly Beefcake was someone who the fans wouldn't buy as a heel anyway, as WCW discovered many times.  Plus you would think Beefcake would have been smart enough to know that his bread was clearly buttered on the Hulk side.  Although try clearly missed an opportunity by not having him ever betray Hulk so that we could someone crying 'ET TU, BRUTI?' in the context of a ​wrestling angle.  

Rev Rock


As if The Rock wasn't already on the Mount Rushmore of Pure Awesomeness.

I don't think there is any argument that Rock is the greatest choice to officiate a wedding.  But which 3 wrestling personalities would you think would be the next best options?


My list:
  1. Macho Man – The guests wouldn't understand him, but he would raise his voice at just the right times
  2. Bobby Heenan – Just for the option to cut down every crazy member of the family
  3. Ric Flair – While he'd be looking WAY too closely at the bride, I think ultimately he'd do the right thing and go through with the ceremony.

Dead last would be Shawn Michaels, who would actually go through with what Ric Flair is thinking. 

​I think Bobby would be better suited to hosting the wedding or giving the best man speech.  Really I doubt anyone is going to top the Rock in this kind of battle.  I would definitely allow the Reverend Slick to officiate my wedding.  ​

Hennig and Harts vs Demos

Was the plan for Hennig to always turn face in '92 and feud with Flair? If warrior hadn't left how would they have gotten to that point?

Explain this to me. The Harts win the tag title from demolition in a 2 out of 3 falls match where one fall they won by DQ. On an episode of Saturday nights main event the British bulldogs defeat the Harts in a 2 out of 3 falls match with one fall being one by dq yet they are not awarded the titles because titles can't change on a dq. So, like, what the hell happened?

​Man, Sundays.  Not even anything on TV now that I subscribe again.  But lucky for everyone else, I get ROH on some random ABC station at 2AM that I can DVR, as well as NJPW on AXS, so get ready for the HOT FIRE, as JTG puts it in his book.  
Anyway, no, the Hennig thing was as desperation last-minute as you can get.  There was no plans for him to turn or even come back to wrestling leading up to it, as far as I'm aware.
As for the second one, that's always bugged me as well, just like the rules of the cage matches in WWE seem to change depending on the needs of the storyline.  ​