The SmarK Rant for WWE Network Old School – 08.25.84

The SmarK Rant for WWE Network Old School – MSG 08.25.84

Well, I decided to take advantage of Cyber Monday and upgraded from my faithful iPhone XS Max to an iPhone 12, because it was crazy cheap and came with a gift card that was worth more than the value of the phone.  It’s a little smaller obviously but I’ll get used to it.  I also bought an SNES Classic off eBay because I never managed to get my hands on one originally and I’ve always wanted one.  Not that I don’t have a million Raspberry Pi-based toys that can do the same thing, but it’s nice to have the real thing, ya know?

This show is of course less notable for anything in the main event than a random match on the undercard that manages to be even more batshit crazy than JJ Dillon’s appearance a few months back. Also this is the last of the MSG shows dropped onto the Network last month, for those keeping track.

Taped from Madison Square Garden

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Lord Alfred Hayes

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The SmarK Rant for This Tuesday in Texas – 12.03.91

The SmarK Rant for This Tuesday in Texas – 12.03.91

(The natural followup to Survivor Series!  I had done this one fairly recently and was planning  a redo tonight, but sadly we had an unexpected death in the family and so I’m just reposting the previous version instead.)  

– Live from San Antonio, Texas

– Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan

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The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 11.26.21

The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 11.26.21

Thanks to everyone who took advantage of the Black Friday special on the rant archives today!  It took me a while to send out the links to everyone because I was busy getting mauled at work all day but I’m pretty sure I was able to get everything done tonight.  If you didn’t send me an email address LIKE I ASKED, I messaged you the link via PayPal so check there.

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The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 02.26.94

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 02.26.94

Happy Black Friday!  Well not for us retail slaves but for everyone else I suppose.  But hey, I too can get in on the Black Friday action, by offering the almighty Rant Archives at a 50% discount for today only!  November 26 2021 in case you’re reading this in the future.  So instead of the usual $20, just shoot me $10 via Paypal at [email protected] with your preferred contact email and I’ll send you the OneDrive link containing the sum total of all my writings for the past 30 years or whatever we’re up to these days, updated in real time as I write them.  You think a new TV or a PS5 is gonna give you that kind of satisfaction?  I THINK NOT.

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The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT 2.0 – 11.23.21

The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT 2.0 – 11.23.21

Oddly, there seems to be some actual desire from people to discuss the soul-sucking demon that is WWE Champions on the blog.  Granted I waste far too much of my time and money on it, but if it’s actually generating interest then maybe I’ll do some kind of weekly discussion deal for the goings-on.  And also I’m down to 15,000 MLC points away from maxing the month and getting Stacy Keibler so I should have it wrapped up this week for the second month in a row.  Although once again, I cannot stress enough that it is NOT WORTH IT to get involved with the game.  I’ve been playing since the original beta and I’m something like 5 years into it now so there’s a whole sunk cost logical fallacy thing messing with my mind and I’m well aware that it’s just chasing the dragon at this point.  But please, for your own sanity, stay far away from Scopely and their bile.  Oh and my faction is BulletClubRJD if you want to join, but it’s typically full so there’s not usually spots available.

Speaking of bile spawned from soul-sucking money-hungry demons, it’s NXT 2.0!

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The SmarK Rant for Ruthless Aggression – Season 2, Episode 1 “Hollywood Rock”

The SmarK Rant for WWE Ruthless Aggression – Season 2, Episode 1

“Hollywood Rock”

And we’re back with another season of Ruthless Aggression, although at times it was more like TRUTHLESS Aggression, AM I RIGHT?  Nah, I’m kidding, it was pretty straight most of the way.  I mostly enjoyed the first season and then they promised it would return in the fall of 2020 and then that was the last we heard of it for a YEAR.  And the episodes promised are nowhere to be seen here.  There was supposed to be something on the Diva Search, for example.

But anyway, here it is again, of course focusing on the special guest at Survivor Series 2021.

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The SmarK Rant for WWF Survivor Series 1990

The SmarK Rant for WWF Survivor Series 1990  

Hey, it’s been 20 years since I’ve reviewed this show (or thereabouts) so I guess it was due for another look.

Unfortunately, at 140 minutes, it appears that the WWE Network is using the Coliseum Video version.

Live from Hartford, CT

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Roddy Piper.

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The SmarK Rant for WWF Survivor Series 1989

The SmarK Rant for WWF Survivor Series 89 – 11.23.89

Well, since the last SNME I watched was hyping this one up and I haven’t reviewed it in more than two decades, it’s time to give it another look.  I remember almost nothing about it anyway so it’s basically new to me again.

We start with various participants letting us know what they’re thankful for, like Royal Rumble vignettes but Thanksgiving themed.  This must have been the full PPV version then because I don’t remember this from Coliseum Video.

Vince’s rundown of the 4-on-4 matches is hilariously over the top and awesome, complete with overdubbing for the guys who are replaced with other people.

Live from Rosemont, IL, drawing 15,294 and a 3.3 buyrate.

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse “The Pilgrim” Ventura

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The SmarK Rant for WWF Survivor Series 1988

The SmarK Rant for WWF Survivor Series 88 – 11.24.88

My original version of the show came from the clipped Coliseum Video version, and the rant kind of sucked, so here’s a fresh take on the seasonally appropriate show that I haven’t watched in 20 years.

Live from Richfield, OH, drawing 13,500 and a 2.8 buyrate.  That’s down pretty heavily from 1987 in both areas.

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura

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The SmarK Rant for WWF Survivor Series 1987

The SmarK 24/7 Rant for WWF Survivor Series 1987

(It’s of course the Survivor Series on Sunday and I don’t really care but I do enjoy the old shows, so let’s repost some of the classics to fill up your Saturday.  Unfortunately my 1991 rant really sucks and I wanted to redo it but just didn’t have time this week.  This one was written sometime in 2008 when the show aired as the full PPV version on WWE 24/7 and blew my mind.)  

– Haven’t done this one in a good long while, but this is the UNCUT version of the show instead of the 2-hour edited Coliseum version.  Plus they’ve been building up to this show on Primetime Wrestling lately, so it’s good to get the payoff coinciding with the buildup for once.

– This was of course the first non-Wrestlemania addition to the WWF’s PPV lineup, and an attempt to put the screws to Jim Crockett at that.  And it sure as hell worked.

– Live from Richfield, OH.

– Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura.  Kind of funny to see all the downtime at the start of the show, with Gorilla & Jesse yakking about the rules and making their entrances, given the fast pace of shows today.

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Wrestling Observer Flashback – 07.08.96

Wrestling Observer Flashback – 07.08.96

Day off from work today, so I’ve got some time to craft another Flashback! Your Spotify soundtrack for this one is Queensryche’s “Operation Mindcrime”, an album that it took me many years to get into, which is weird because I was a big fan of “Empire”.  But goddamn is “Eyes of a Stranger” a great song.

So look, the world may be a crazy place, but at least we can all rest easy knowing that, much like his relationship with Bret Hart, things will always be good between Vince McMahon and the Ultimate Warrior. Now let’s just open up the Observer and see what the top story this week is…

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The SmarK Rant for WWE Network Old School – MSG 07.23.84 (The Brawl to End It All)

The SmarK Rant for The Brawl to End It All – 07.23.84

(This one is next up in the 84 series, although the WWE Network has since pulled it from the service for whatever nebulous reasons they decide this stuff.  So here’s a repost of it, and then we’ll continue on with the MSG debut of the FABULOUS FREEBIRDS next time!)  

Taped from Madison Square Garden

Your hosts are Gene Okerlund & Gorilla Monsoon

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