Lars Sullivan is a bad man because he goes out and squashes dudes.
Braun Strowman is a GOOD guy because he goes out and squashes dudes.
Sami Zayn comes back with a newfound mean streak and positioned as the go-to chicken shit heel. In order to get this over, Zayn is presented as completely non-competitive with his new mean streak.
A) Corbin is already their best chicken shit heel despite their unfounded efforts to present him as anything OTHER than that.
B) Zayn is one of the best babyfaces on the performance end they have on the whole damn roster anyway!
The Brand Split is literally so broken that they are canceling road shows just to support the TV product. That, of course, defeats the whole point of establishing 2 distinct touring brands in the first place…
There is a Wildcard rule that had to be established just to facilitate this silliness. 4 floaters: (intentional use of the word) but that doesn’t include the randos that just come and go as they please anyway (Brock, Shane, Cena, sometimes the Usos, HHH… sometimes not)
There are SERIOUSLY over 20 belt holders under performance contracts and we can BARELY make it through a show without pinning them in an arbitrary, meaningless manner.
WWE ANNOUNCER: “THEY JUST PINNED THE CHAMPIONS THEY MUST BE CONSIDERED THE #1 CONTENDER!!!”
No, idiots. If you can be the champions, then you SHOULD BE the champion, that’s where Flair’s freaking catch[hrase comes from!
Copy/Paste Raw Main Event Tag match every damn week. I don’t even hate the matches sometimes. How many times do we need to see Rollins + [plucky babyface sidekick of the week] versus Baron Corbin + [mid card, nothing happening heel sidekick of the month]? In a perfect world, I would have Lashley in my Main Events too, but probably not after cutting his nuts off for a straight year in front of it.
So now we have a 24/7 champ to re-hash a tired novelty from 20 years ago and to have ANOTHER champion that never wins…
JESUS. FUCKING. CHRIST.
They can do it… they can. They took a Becky/Evans nothing segment and, in roughly 25 minutes, rehabbed almost 3 years of fucking up Bayley as bad as you can fuck up Bayley. From a creative standpoint, that shit was genius. The open to Mania this year had Heyman/Pritchard fingerprints all over it. At least it was a thing.
They have Borash, they have Heyman, they have Pritchard, HHH, Jarrett, Michael Hayes, and a host of other brilliant wrestling people that can contribute to wrestling related content at an incredible level. Yet we have a puke green belt to make more Titus O’niell jokes, grown men actually dragging their asses on the canvas, and LITERAL 50-year-old men in the main events of all the A shows on the calendar.
Here’s to next week’s RAW main Event: Rollins/_________ vs. Corbin/__________ (fill in the fucking blanks yourselves. It doesn’t matter anyway). No wonder Dogg dipped out of his personal dream job man.
Agreed on much of this. Zayn can be an effective heel, but this isn’t the role for him. Also, splitting him and Owens up onto separate brands is a complete waste as well. Hmm, the tag team division is shit and both halves of a long-time team are doing nothing, so let’s keep them apart and concentrate our energy on pushing Shane McMahon instead. Sounds about right.