The SmarK Rant for AEW Dark Elevation – 06.27.22

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dark Elevation – 06.27.22

Episode 69.

Nice.

Taped from Milwaukee, WI

Your hosts are Excalibur, Mark Henry and Anthony Ogogo

Anna Jay v. Heather Reckless

Jay takes Reckless down to start, but Heather puts the boots to her in the corner.  Anna comes back with a back elbow and flying forearm, and then awkwardly flips Reckless into the Queenslayer sleeper at 1:58. Nothing much to this one.  0 for 1.

Powerhouse Hobbs & Ricky Starks v. Joey Jett & Jordan Kross

I actually would have thought the jobbers had opposite names, as Joey Jett is the big bruiser and Kross is the skinny cruiserweight.  Seems like it should be the other way around.  Maybe they should switch names?  Hobbs quicky pulverizes Jett in the corner and then hauls Kross in and lays him on the top turnbuckle for a beating with some CLUBBING FOREARMS.  Meanwhile Starks excitedly runs around the ring in celebration of the beating.  Ricky comes in with a jawbreaker on Kross and then hauls him over to the corner to tease a tag to the other guy before pulling him back and beating on him some more.  Finally Kross fights back, so Starks slaps him down and finishes with the Rochambeau at 3:31.  Starks is a hoot and I love how they manhandled the geeks.  1 for 2.

Ruby Soho v. Missa Kate

“Does she have pajamas on?” wonders Mark immediately about Missa Kate, echoing all of our thoughts.  Ruby runs wild for a bit to start, but Kate runs her into the turnbuckles and puts the boots to her.  Kate misses a blind charge and Ruby puts her down with an enzuigiri.  She goes up and misses a flying stomp, and Kate hits a pump kick for two.  Ruby misses another kick and Ruby finishes with the Blade Runner at 2:40.  Kate didn’t look too bad, despite the worst gear ever.  2 for 3.

Keith Lee & Swerve Strickland v. Vic Capri & GPA

GPA tries working on the arm of Lee to start and that gets him nowhere, as Keith tosses him down and then counters a jawbreaker into a powerslam.  Over to ICEPICK Vic, who also bounces off Lee helpessly, and then Keith just hurls him across the ring in annoyance.  The crowd wants one more time, so Keith obliges.  Apparently he was “tossed like a salmon”, which is a metaphor you don’t hear every day.  GPA charges in to help and Keith plants him with the powerbomb, but Swerve tags himself in and dives over Lee with a missile dropkick on Capri to finish at 4:08.  They still can’t get along, but they’re still winning and still fun to watch.  3 for 4.  This brings out Butcher and Blade to stare them down, while Butcher is apparently eating a pork chop.  Sounds about right.

Ethan Page v. Serpentico

Serpentico is coming off a win on Dark last week, so I sense that Page might be in some trouble.  We get a posedown to start and Page immediately goes for the Edge, but Serpentico, riding high on the win, manages to escape and even heads out to try a single leg on Dan Lambert.  Man’s gotta know his limitations, as Dirty Harry said.  Back in, Ethan beats the stuffing out of Serpentico and finishes with the Ego’s Edge at 1:38.  That was like a Canucks style winning streak:  One in a row.  3 for 5.

John Silver v. KM

Silver takes out the knee and then boots him in the face, before going up with the flying shoulderblock.  KM boots him down and follows with a slingshot splash for two.  Silver fights back with chops and boots him on the ropes, and then the deadlift german sets up the Spin Doctor on the really huge jobber at 2:24.  Big crowd reaction for this one.  I think it’s definitely time to end the Dark Order and find something else for them to do.  4 for 6.

Brody King & Buddy Matthews v. CJ Esperza & Brubaker

Poor Brubaker gets trapped in the House corner and booted repeatedly by Buddy, and Brody follows with a cannonball.  Over to the other guy, who might be Brubaker, it doesn’t matter, and Buddy spears one guy into the other guy and then King finishes with the Fire thunder Driver at 2:40.  Love watching them murder jobbers like that.  5 for 7.

Evil Uno, Alex Reynolds & 10 v. Max Caster & The Gunn Clubb

The wacky Acclaimed/Ass Boys act continues to get bigger and bigger reactions.  This week Caster references Biden falling off the bike and Drake’s disappointing new album.  I’m sorry on behalf of Canada.  Just for Drake in general.  The Dark Order manages to win a brawl before the bell and chases them away, but Uno quickly gets double-teamed by the Gunns.  Colton gets a suplex for two, but Uno comes back with a neckbreaker on Caster after the referee assist gimmick doesn’t work.  10 gets a tag and runs wild on the Gunns with spinebusters.  10 with a delayed suplex that’s so delayed you might as well call it “Kenny Omega’s return” and they toss Austin.  Back in, Reynolds hits him with a double underhook into a lung blower for two, but Caster saves.  Austin rolls up Alex for two while Daddy Ass takes out 10 outside, and then Austin rolls up Reynolds with the ropes for the pin at 4:18.  And then they all scissor and make it weird to celebrate.  6 for 8.

Nothing earth-shattering on this episode but the usual light and fun 45 minutes of wrestling.