Spring Break In Sellersville
Date: March 7, 2020
Location: Forrest Lodge VFW, Sellersville, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Billy Avery, Doc Diamondfire
This is from Star Pro and seems to be another combination of former Chikara and indy wrestlers. These shows can be fun, but it depends on how much they lean into the goofy. The former Chikara wrestlers have some completely insane gimmicks, but you never know what you might be getting. Let’s get to it.
As usual, I have no idea on any characters or plot points coming in so please bear with me if I miss something.
Our unnamed and tuxedoed host welcomes us to the show, though I can barely understand anything he is saying.
Fenix Fury vs. Icarus
Oh yeah it’s a former Chikara crowd alright. Feeling out process to start until Icarus takes him into the corner and comes out with a belly to back suplex. We hit the seated abdominal stretch, followed by a belly to back suplex to drop Fury again. The neck crank goes on for a bit before Icarus chokes away in the corner. Fury finally gets back up for some flying forearms and a tornado DDT gets two. Back up and Icarus ducks a right hand, setting up a quick Wings Of Icarus (Pedigree) for the pin at 7:23.
Rating: C. Nice stuff here, though Fury doing some more high flying might have been a better idea. Icarus is someone who has been around this area for a very long time and it makes sense to start with someone the fans are going to know. I haven’t seen much of Icarus as a heel, but he was certainly getting on the fans’ nerves here. Maybe not the best choice for an opener, but a good enough match.
South Philly’s Finest vs. Shinobi Shadow Squad
That would be Jimmy Konway/Luca Brazzi vs. Eli Isom/Ryan Nova, the latter of whom were regulars in the last few years of Ring Of Honor. Before the match, the Finest want to know why Nova is missing part of his pants. Brazzi takes Nova into the corner to start and it’s an early standoff. Nova takes Brazzi down but lets him go and chills on the top rope. That doesn’t work for Brazzi, who slaps him in the back of the head, causing Nova to…throw a ninja star? Eh it brought Edge and Christian together.
Since that didn’t work (I’m as shocked as you are), it’s off to Isom, who gets elbowed in the face and has his nipples twisted in the corner (yep). Nova is dragged in as well and send into Isom in the corner to put them both down. Another shoulder to the ribs puts Nova on the floor but Isom is back up with a dropkick to send Brazzi outside. Isom chokes Brazzi a bit so Nova can get in a suplex as I’m not sure who the fans are supposed to be behind here.
The chinlock goes on, with Isom even stomping his feet on the mat for…well ok it doesn’t add anything. Other than maybe some percussion. Brazzi fights up and tries to dive over for the tag but gets caught in a release northern lights suplex. Some headbutts to the ribs aren’t enough to get Brazzi over to the ropes and a dive through Isom’s legs is cut off as well. Brazzi FINALLY kicks Isom away….but Nova pulls Konway to the floor. That leaves Isom to hit a release German suplex for a rather arrogant two as the beating continues.
The arrogance wakes Brazzi up enough (make your own Rick Martel jokes) for him to get over to gag in Konway, meaning house can be cleaned. Isom breaks up Sliced Garlic Bread (awesome) but Brazzi punches both of them in the face over and over. A wheelbarrow faceplant with a Stomp gets two on Brazzi with Konway making the save. Konway is sent outside, leaving Brazzi tho hit Sliced Garlic Bread to finish Nova at 13:45.
Rating: B-. This was your straight formula tag match and once I figured out that the Squad were the villains, the match got a lot better. I wouldn’t have bet on the two of them being effective heels but they managed to make it work well enough here. The Finest have been around for a few years but I haven’t seen them before, which is kind of a surprise as they’re not bad.
Isom has to carry Nova out.
Star Pro has a dojo. Well of course they do.
Frightmare vs. Dan Champion
Frightmare is a bit supernatural and Champion is a rather muscular guy. The much smaller Frightmare’s running clotheslines have no effect so Frightmare goes to the eyes to stagger Champion. A running shot knocks Champion to the floor and Frightmare follows him out with some sauntering in between each shot. Back in and Champion cuts off a crossbody, setting up a rather delayed suplex (that’s what you get for sauntering).
The running corner clotheslines work a bit better for Champion, at least until Frightmare kicks him in the shoulder. For some reason Frightmare tries a suplex, even though Champion has about eight inches and a hundred pounds on him. Frightmare goes after the knee to take Champion down and there’s the standing moonsault for two.
A running boot in the corner rocks Champion again and his knee gives out on a whip from corner to corner. The Kneecalepsy (moonsault knees) misses for Frightmare though and Champion low bridges him to the floor. Back in and a heck of a TKO gets two on Frightmare, leaving Champion a bit stunned. Some more kicks to the leg put him down and now Kneecalepsy can finish for Frightmare at 9:20.
Rating: C. Another completely watchable match here, though the smaller Frightmare as the villain was a little odd. Granted that is because Champion is bigger than Drew McIntyre, which makes for some limited options. Frightmare was one of the top heels in Chikara, but it doesn’t work as well without the complete insanity that the company could offer. Champion is an ok big man, but I’m not sure I can imagine him going much further.
Veda Scott vs. Logan Easton LaRoux
LaRoux is a rather obnoxious (and rather rich) heel who I’ve seen good things from before. He is from “a gated community inside a gated community surrounded by a gated community” and is billed as the Champion of the 1% in case you need a better idea. Feeling out process to start, with LaRoux working on the finger for some small joint manipulation.
Scott sends him to the floor, only to have LaRoux snap the throat across the rope. Back in and some arm cranking on the ropes ensues, setting up the chinlock. Scott fights up and kicks him in the head a few times, setting up a bulldog for two. Back up and LaRoux hits a spear for two, followed by Scott hitting one of her own for the same. LaRoux misses a charge into the corner and it’s a fisherman’s suplex to give Scott the pin at 7:03.
Rating: C-. This was one of those intergender matches where you could tell that things weren’t going at top speed and it hurt things a bit. The good thing is that Scott is talented enough to make something like this work. I haven’t seen her in the ring in a bit and I had forgotten how good she can be when she is out there. LaRoux is someone I could go with seeing more of as well, but he might need to change things up a bit in a world where MJF exists.
Junior Heavyweight Title: Billy Avery vs. Jixx vs. Joe Clyde vs. Markus Skyler
Jixx, with his painted face, is defending and it is one fall to a finish. Avery left the commentary booth for the match and appears to weigh about 130lbs. Skyler has a large bag with him and seems to be popular. Clyde on the other hand looks like Trevor Murdoch if you deflated him a bit. Before the bell, Jixx, who seems to be about Rey Mysterio’s height, grabs the mic and insults Sellersville. He then turns around and has all three challengers waiting on him with a triple dropkick.
That’s enough to send Jixx to the floor, with Clyde joining him for…uh, a beer. Avery takes Skyler down but it’s Clyde coming back in to tackle Avery up against the ropes. Jixx is back in with a dropkick to Clyde and it’s a moonsault onto all three challengers on the floor at once. Back in and Jixx gets two on Skyler before they both head back in. That leaves Clyde to suplex Avery for two, followed by a DDT for the same. They switch off again, leaving Jixx to rake Skyler’s eyes and choke in the corner.
A running shot in said corner gets two and Jixx is frustrated, at least partially due to losing his face paint. Clyde comes back in to take Jixx down for a change, meaning it’s time to go up for the required Tower Of Doom. It’s Avery up first and getting to clean house, including a chop off with Jixx. Avery knocks Jixx down but gets F5’d by Clyde, who is taken down by a Canadian Destroyer from Jixx. Skyler is back up as well though and it’s a bridging northern lights suplex to pin Jixx for the title at 11:48.
Rating: B-. It was a fun match with some good high flying, but it’s also the kind of match that you have seen done a hundred times. Skyler stood out a bit here, while Avery is just WAY too small to take seriously and Clyde feels like he should be a heavyweight. Jixx felt like the latest in a long line of spooky/supernatural characters and seeing him lose was kind of nice as a result.
Razerhawk/Green Ant/Wheeler Yuta vs. Young Dumb N Broke
That would be Ellis Taylor/Griffin McCoy/Jordan Oliver with manager Charlie Tiger. Ant sends Taylor running to the floor to start before grabbing a full nelson back inside. A springboard armdrag takes Ant down but it’s quickly off to the technical stuff. That doesn’t go well for Taylor, so we’ll try McCoy vs. Yuta instead. The technical off goes to Yuta again (shocking I know) before they do a weird mirroring sequence.
Yuta rolls him up for two so it’s off to Razerhawk vs. Oliver to complete the trilogy. Razerhawk takes him down by the arm and cranks on the wrist so it can be back to Yuta. Tiger offers a quick distraction though, allowing the villains to collectively drop Yuta and take over. McCoy stomps on the mat and in the corner and it’s Oliver coming back in with a front facelock. Yuta can’t slip through Oliver’s legs but he can catch Oliver’s kick…only to get poked in the eye.
Taylor and McCoy start taking turns on Yuta’s arm, causing Razerhawk and Ant to have to be held back. The chinlock goes on but Yuta fights up and FINALLY dives over to Ant for the hot tag. House is cleaned rather quickly, at least until Taylor knees him in the face. Everything breaks down and Razerhawk hits a missile dropkick on McCoy. A splash off of Yuta’s shoulders gets two and Yuta Angle Slams Oliver for a bonus.
The villains fight up and clear Ant out, leaving McCoy and Yuta to slut it out. Taylor is back in with a kick to Yuta and a brainbuster onto the knee puts him down. Ant grabs a Samoan driver on Taylor but gets Tombstoned by Oliver. Back in and Razerhawk hits a backslide slam for two on Oliver. McCoy gets pulled into Yuta’s Sharpshooter, which draws in Tiger. That’s broken up as well and it’s a running Meltzer Driver (minus the springboard) for the pin on Yuta at 18:01.
Rating: C+. This got some time to make the match work a bit better, but it was a bit much to watch that long of a sequence without anything resembling a tag. I know it’s the style and expected and all that jazz, but couldn’t you at least pay it some lip service? Oliver will be getting better at his size, though the other five are all so small that it is difficult to get that invested.
Ophidian vs. Danny Duggan
During the entrances, Duggan says he hopes the ring announcers gets the Coronavirus so he never has to see him again. Duggan, who looks like an Anderson, bails to the ropes to start but powers Ophidian into the corner. Ophidian misses a spinning kick to the face but is fine enough to take it to the mat for the required arm control exchange. Back up and Duggan grabs a headlock before chopping him into the corner. Duggan grabs him by the throat but Ophidian tries a sleeper of his own.
That isn’t working so some spinwheel kicks rock Duggan instead. The middle rope broke somewhere in there so Duggan is easily sent outside. As Duggan staggers a bit on the floor, Ophidian grabs a chair and has a seat, which doesn’t sit well with Duggan. Back in and Duggan chokes on what is left of the middle rope before slapping on the chinlock. Ophidian fights up and gets a sunset flip, meaning Duggan’s trunks come most of the way down.
Some kicks rock Duggan again but thankfully he gets a clothesline in and fixes the gear. Duggan grabs a spinebuster (again, Anderson) for two and now his arm (which was bandaged coming in) is busted open. A suplex into the corner (which is broken as well) FINALLY finished Ophidian at 13:29, even though the referee didn’t seem to get the count right.
Rating: C-. The fact that the ring literally broke kind of holds this back but it wasn’t a great match in the first place. You can only get so far when things are this limited, though I kept getting bored by the match anyway. Maybe they could do better under the proper circumstances, but dang this wasn’t a great main event.
Post match Duggan thanks the fans for coming out, even if his native Canada is that much better.
Ophidian says something I can’t understand to really wrap up the show.
Overall Rating: C. As you can clearly see, this show feels like the end of the movie The Producers. After nearly doing everything they hoped for, the main stars’ plan falls apart and they lose everything. That doesn’t stop them from trying the same thing again, at least on a smaller budget. That’s what I was feeling here, as this came off like the latest example of trying to put together a Chikara style show without the Chikara presentation. In other words, you’re left with a pretty ok show that I feel like I’ve seen a half dozen times now, often with a similar lineup. Check it out if that’s your thing, but you’re better off finding Chikara.
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