The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents The Best of the WWF Volume 10

The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents The Best of the WWF Volume 10

Hosted by Mean Gene, who tells us all about the technological magic of videocassette.

Ricky Steamboat, Junkyard Dog & Haiti Kid v. Jimmy Jack Funk, Hoss Funk & Jimmy Hart

From the Boston Garden, as the Funks make their final descent into jobberdom in early 86.  Steamboat fights off both Funks in the heel corner and runs Jimmy Jack into JYD’s head before getting a sunset flip for two.  Dog chases the Funks to the floor while Hayes notes that “Jimmy jack bears a striking resemblance to Terrible Terry Funk” and somehow manages to get that ridiculous line out without cracking up.  Alcohol is a hell of a drug.  Haiti Kid comes in and manages to get a near fall on Jimmy Jack after Dog tosses him like a javelin.  Hoss comes in and Steamboat takes him down for a chinlock after some more midget wackiness, and Steamboat clears the ring with dropkicks.  We’re clipped to Steamboat beating on Jimmy Jack with chops in the corner, but Jimmy catches him with a lariat to put him down and Hoss takes over with forearms.  Steamboat backdrops out of a piledriver and follows with a suplex for two.  Jimmy comes in and reverses a slam for two, and then puts Steamboat down with a high knee for two.  Steamboat and Hoss slug it out and it’s hot tag JYD, who puts Jimmy Jack down with a clothesline for two. Russian legsweep gets two.  Dog with another clothesline and they’re both out, as apparently Dog is blown up from doing two moves.  Sounds about right actually.  Jimmy Jack catches him with a high knee and Jimmy Hart finally tags into the match and puts the boots to JYD, then realizes the mistake he’s made.  So Dog hauls him into the babyface corner and Haiti Kid beats on Jimmy as it’s ALL CATTYWAMPUS, only for Hoss to KO Dog with the megaphone and put Jimmy on top of Haiti for the pin at 11:20.  A fine opener that featured a midget getting slammed and pinned for good measure.  1 for 1.

Cowboy Bob Orton v. Tito Santana

Another one from Boston.  Orton is still the “new bodyguard” for Adrian Adonis according to the commentary, so that places it in August of 86.  And in fact the full show is available on the WWE Network if you want to watch it. This is no doubt an amazing preview of the future AWF right here in 1986!  Hell they’re probably still doing indie matches with each other today.  Gene introduces the match by noting that Orton is known by a lot of nicknames in the locker room, most notably “The Mechanic”. That’s not exactly a complimentary nickname in wrestling circles, it means you’re a technically sound wrestler who is dull in the ring.  But it sounds impressive I guess.  They trade armdrags to start and Santana gets a clothesline out of the corner before taking him down with an armbar.  Orton bails and we’re clipped to Orton taking Tito down with a flying headscissors and then hiptossing him out of the corner and across the ring.  He tries another headscissors and Tito ducks it, as Bob crotches himself and Tito makes a comeback.  Bob takes a big bump out of the ring and into the front row, so Tito chases him back in and rolls him up for two.  Orton wins a slugfest, but Tito backslides him for two.  Back to the armbar as Tito works on that, but Bob escapes a hammerlock with an atomic drop.  Tito goes back to the arm, wrapping it around the post off a blind charge, so Bob pokes him in the eyes and tosses him to take over.  Poor Tito gets tossed into the wooden barricade and knocks it over, which is apparently Excedrin Headache #5 for those keeping track of the Gorilla-isms.  Tito’s dazed selling here is just the best.  Back into the ring with a suplex, but Bob drops him on the top rope instead and then drops knees on the ribs for two.  We’re clipped to Tito fighting out of a chinlock with an atomic drop and then going to work on the leg to set up the figure-four.  But Orton escapes that attempt and they slug it out, until the bell rings for the draw at 16:54.  The full match is a 30:00 draw in fact and well worth checking out.  2 for 2.

Big John Studd & King Kong Bundy v. The Machines

Still in Boston, September 86 this time, with another show available on the Network.  The Machines get a half-hearted slam on Bundy together, but Big Machine slams Studd to make $15,000, although Bobby stops by the commentary table to deny seeing it.  Super Machine takes Studd down and slugs away, so Bundy comes back in and beats on Big before putting him down with an elbow. Big slugs away on Studd and it’s back to Super, who beats on Studd with elbows before running into a back elbow in the corner.  Super gets caught in the corner, but the heels collide and have words about it until Bobby calms things down with his keen negotiation skills and level head.  Studd gets a cheapshot from behind to take over on Super Machine and we get some clubbering forearms and attempts to unmask the Machine.  Guess we’ll never know his identity.  Bundy misses an elbow and it’s back to Big Machine for the pier six brawl, but Bobby runs in for the DQ at 9:00.  I feel like Big Machine wasn’t the original guy.  Could he have been a counterfeit Machine?  2 for 3

WWF tag team title:  Great Valentine & Brutus Beefcake v. Danny Spivey & Mike Rotundo

Once again we are in Boston, this time November of 85, very shortly after Barry Windham went nuts and burned his bridges with the company.  Rotundo and Spivey switch off with armbars on Beefcake in their corner, but Spivey gets caught in the Dream Team side and double-teamed.  Rotundo comes in and dropkicks Valentine to the floor and then suplexes him back into the ring.  Mike misses an elbow and the champs go to work on him again, as I randomly think about how 10 years later this would look drastically different as a match.  You’d have IRS & Waylon Mercy on one side, and Zodiac Man on the other, but poor Greg would still look the exact same.  Dream Team continues working Rotundo over in dull fashion in their corner (shocking I know) but Mike escapes with a suplex and makes the hot tag to Dollar Tree Windham.  He gets some stuff on Valentine and Rotundo follows with the airplane spin for two, but Beefcake comes in again and collides with Spivey for the double down. Valentine puts Beefcake on top for two, but Spivey rolls him up for two. And then Brutus rolls him over for the pin at 11:30 to retain.  Just a basic match, with Spivey and Rotundo obviously too early in their team to have much in the way of chemistry.  2 for 4.

Billy Jack Haynes v. Brutus Beefcake

Off to MSG now in July 86, as Johnny V steals the hat and allows Billy to get all distracted and beaten up by Beefcake.  Backbreaker gets two, but Haynes whips him into the corner.  Beefcake goes up and misses a fistdrop, and Billy gets a sunset flip for two and follows with a suplex, but Beefcake stomps him to take over.  Back suplex gets two. Beefcake goes for a slam and Haynes falls on top for two, but Brutus puts him down with a clothesline for two.  Haynes is all fired up and he makes the comeback with a legdrop and splash for two.  And then Johnny V trips him up for the DQ at 6:30.  Total snooze.  2 for 5.

The Islanders v. Jimmy Jack Funk & Mr. X

Back to Boston in October of 86, another one available on the Network.  Poor Mr. X had to work TWICE and probably had to referee a couple of matches as well.  Whole lot of nothing for the first 5:00 as the Islanders control the mysterious Mr. X (not to confused with former AWA World champion Dr. X) in their corner, until Jimmy Jack finally gets the tag.  The heels take over on Tama with some stuff and things, and JJ gets a backbreaker for two.  X with a chinlock and JJ gets a neckbreaker for two.  They double-team Tama behind the ref’s back for a bit and Funk collides with Tama for the double down, but Haku gets the hot tag and beats on X, setting up Tama’s flying splash at 12:15.  Yes this match got TWELVE MINUTES.  This is really stretching the “Best of the WWF” theme.  2 for 6.

Rowdy Roddy Piper v. AJ Petrucci

From Championship Wrestling, Roddy Piper returns and is suddenly cheered by the fans, and he decides to beat the guy with one hand behind his back after the jobber slaps him around.  So Piper quickly puts the boots to him and runs him into the corner, then puts him down with a snapmare and chases him to the floor.  Petrucci tries to retreat, so Piper runs him into the ringside chairs and back in the ring, as he blocks AJ’s shots with one hand and beats him down.  So then Piper pulls out his hand, hits Petrucci with a double axehandle, and puts his hand back behind his back again before pinning him with one foot at 2:41.  A very memorable squash.  3 for 7.

From the Prime Time Year in Review show, Piper confronts Adrian Adonis on the Flower Shop and gets destroyed, so he returns the next week with a baseball bat and smashes up the set.

Rowdy Roddy Piper v. Magnificent Muraco

And of course it’s back to our favorite location in Boston to close out the tape, November of 86.  This was the house show run that was supposed to make us forget about Adrian Adonis but bombed so badly that they had to bring him back instead.  Piper attacks and beats on Muraco, until he’s tied up in the ropes, and Piper hits him in the throat there.  Piper with a bulldog, but Muraco hits him with a cheapshot out of the corner to take over.  Gorilla notes that the momentum has swung 360 degrees.  So it’s right back where we started, then?  Piper gets tossed for some abuse from Fuji, and Muraco follows with a shot to the post to bust Piper open.  Piper comes back in for a slugfest that also busts Muraco open, and Piper slugs him down and follows with a suplex for two.  Piper tries a slam and Fuji trips him up with the cane for two, but Piper rolls up Muraco for the pin at 7:24.  This was OK but not exactly the blood feud that the Adonis matches were.  4 for 8.

Coming soon to Coliseum Video:  Best of the WWF Volume 11!  Junkyard Dog!  History of the Intercontinental title!  I don’t know what happened to the JYD tape but they definitely never released one.

A very mid entry, as MJF would say.