The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents Razor Ramon

The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents Razor Ramon

Really this was the only choice of review this morning.

Released 10.05.94

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Stan Lane, from the top of Titan Towers.

Razor Ramon v. Bam Bam Bigelow

This is a dark match from a RAW taping at some point in 1994.  Razor works a headlock to start, but Bigelow suplexes out of it and goes up immediately, missing the diving headbutt.  Razor clotheslines him for two, but Bigelow puts him down again while Stan Lane claims that Bigelow tattooed his head in high school after seeing a 57 Chevy.  I’m dubious about that one.  Razor slugs back and Bigelow tosses him out, allowing Luna to take a shot at him.  Back in, Bigelow puts him down with an elbow and stomps away as the crowd is pretty dead for this, and we hit the chinlock.  Bigelow holds the chinlock FOREVER, until Razor finally suplexes out of it.  Razor makes the comeback and slugs him into the corner, before coming back with a slam.  Razor gets distracted by Luna and Bigelow hits him with an enzuigiri right on the EXTERNAL OCCIPITAL PROTUBERANCE, but he goes up for the moonsault and Razor pulls him down and pins him at 9:00.  I think that was supposed to be a Razor’s Edge and they just couldn’t pull it off.  0 for 1.

Intercontinental title:  Razor Ramon v. Rick Martel

This is the finals of the battle royale from RAW in 1993, of course.  We get the finish of the battle royale from “last week” to set this up.  Martel was such an odd choice for this spot, essentially doing nothing for most of the year before popping up on TV here again and then disappearing back to house shows again.  Meanwhile, Vince tries to somehow tie Columbus Day to Razor Ramon because they’re both “Hispanic”.  I heard the Spanish treasury told Columbus “If something happens to my gold, something happens to you” but beyond that I don’t see it.  Martel takes him down and tries some mat wrestling, but Razor fights back and hits him with the fallaway slam to send him to the floor.  Savage notes that neither man has “read each others press releases” because they’re not scared of each other.  Back in, Martel gets a cheapshot to take over and goes to a facelock, but Razor puts him on the apron and slingshots him back in to escape.  Razor works the arm and Vince is REALLY offended at Martel’s bit of cheating, noting that Razor should have no sympathy for Martel and should humiliate him.  We take a break and return with Martel beating on him outside and slamming him on the floor, and back in for some trips to the corner to work on the back.  Backdrop suplex gets two.  Martel beats on the back and runs Razor into the corner again while Vince reveals the deep dark secret:  Rick Martel is actually from QUEBEC, not Florida like he claims!  Huge if true.  Martel with the Boston crab, but Razor quickly makes the ropes, so Martel hits him with a side slam and goes back right back to it.  They’re in the middle of the ring this time, so Razor powers out of it for two and Martel reverses that for two.  Martel with a dropkick for two.  Vince declares it a SEE SAW MATCHUP BACK AND FORTH, breaking the rating scale like Meltzer at the Toyko Dome.  Razor makes the comeback and puts Martel on the top, but Martel fights him off and comes down with a flying bodypress, which Razor rolls through for two.  Martel clotheslines him down for two.  Martel puts his head down, however, and Razor boots him and then powers him up into the Razor’s Edge to win the IC title for the first time at 12:41.  This was actually an excellent TV match, with Martel working his ass off here to put him over.  1 for 2.

Intercontinental title:  Razor Ramon v. Crush

Another dark match from Wrestling Challenge in 1994, with Gorilla and Johnny Polo on commentary.  They get into a wacky discussion about country music immediately, with Gorilla remembering his favorite song:  “I’ve Got Hair Oil On My Glasses and They Keep Slipping Off My Ears, But I Can Still See Through You, Baby” which was apparently written by Slim Pickens.  I wonder if he also wrote “I’d Rather Have a Bottle In Front Of Me Than a Frontal Lobotomy” as well?  We get some stalling between them as Polo and Gorilla go into increasingly tangential wackiness and Polo brings up Crush’s history as the third half of Demolition some years back.  Crush takes him down and works the back while Polo notes that he’s mostly retired but he comes back from time to time because he’s a legendary superstar who returns to the ring as the people demand.  He should be a Wrestlemania main eventer then.  Crush works a bodyscissors on Razor, who makes the ropes while Polo declares him a “wussy baby” who should have fought out of it like a real man.  They fight to the floor and Crush tosses him back in for a backbreaker while Polo badmouths Russ, who operates the #12 handheld camera.  Razor comes back and Polo declares him a “man repossessed” but Crush cuts him off with karate to the throat and another backbreaker.  “A staple of the Crush repertoire” notes Polo.  Kneedrop gets two, but Crush thinks he’s won, and Razor rolls him up for the pin at 7:11.  The match was terrible but Polo was a RIOT with Gorilla and that’s enough for a point.  2 for 3.

Razor Ramon v. Adam Bomb

From Superstars, as we actually just got this one in the most recent Superstars rant.  Bomb attacks in the corner to start and slams him out of the two handed choke before adding a powerslam.  He misses an elbow and Razor clotheslines him to the floor.  They fight out there and Bomb puts him down with a clothesline out there.  Back in for the slingshot clothesline, but that only gets two.  Razor rolls him up for two, but Bomb elbows him down and goes to work on the back with a suplex for two.  But then Bomb puts his head down and Razor finishes with the Edge at 3:31.  Short and inoffensive.  3 for 4.

Ladder match, Intercontinental title:  Razor Ramon v. Shawn Michaels

From Wrestlemania X of course.  Hey, let’s watch it again.  So quaint that there’s only one ladder available.  Shawn tries to flip out of a hiptoss and gets chokeslammed as a result, but comes back with a neckbreaker.  Razor slugs him down, but he charges and gets sent to the floor, where Diesel adds some abuse, although he points out that the ref didn’t actually see something.  Regardless, he gets sent back to the dressing room anyway.  Back in the ring, Shawn does a Flair Flip in the corner and Razor clotheslines him to the floor and pulls up the mats, but Shawn sends him back in the ring.  Razor teases an Edge to the floor, but ends up taking a backdrop over the top and landing on his own concrete floor.  Can’t blame anyone but himself for that one.  Shawn retrieves the ladder for the first time, but Razor steals it, so Shawn dropkicks it into his gut and the crowd doesn’t know what to make of this quite yet.  Back in the ring, Shawn gives him another shot with the ladder and then smashes it into his back repeatedly, including hurling it across the ring in a sick shot.  This was literally a business-changing match due to stuff like that.  For better or worse.  Shawn makes the first climb and Razor grabs his tights to stop him, so Shawn does a full moon elbow drop off the ladder and then goes up for the famous splash off the top of the ladder.  Shawn climbs again, but Razor pushes him over and the poor ladder is starting to take the brunt of the abuse.  They collide for a double down and Shawn recovers first, but Razor whips him into the ladder and Shawn goes flying over the top and bumps to the floor.  So Razor follows him and smashes him with the ladder a few times, setting up a catapult into the ladder, which Shawn turns into a wacky bump as he grabs the ladder and falls backwards.  Back in, Razor runs the ladder into his face and sends him to the floor again.  Razor makes the climb and Shawn pops back in and knocks him off, and they fight on top of the ladder until Shawn goes down.  At which point the poor ladder collapses under Razor and he goes down as well.  I hope that ladder got a WM bonus.  Razor goes up again, so Shawn dropkicks the ladder to knock him down and then pushes the ladder over onto him for good measure.  Shawn with the superkick to set up a piledriver.  And then he goes up and rides the ladder onto Razor to really put him down.  So Shawn sets up the ladder over top of Razor and makes the climb, but Razor fights up, and pushes the ladder over, resulting in Shawn getting tied in the ropes.  And Razor climbs the ladder to re-unify the belts at 18:45.  Well obviously this still gets a point.  4 for 5.  Even if they did go long by having one of the greatest matches in history and ruined the timing of the 10 man.

Intercontinental title:  Razor Ramon v. IRS

From the 94 Royal Rumble.  This actually has the Radio WWF commentary track with Jim Ross and Gorilla Monsoon.  Razor chases him to the floor right away, but IRS slugs away in the ring.  Razor wins that battle and chases him out again, but Razor follows and IRS nails him with a clothesline to take over.  Back in, Irwin goes up and Razor tries to get the boot up, but IRS just lands on his feet and drops an elbow instead.  First time I’ve seen someone actually evade that counter, as usually the heel is drawn to land on the outstretched boot as if compelled by a gravitational pull.  IRS with a slam and legdrop for two.  Irwin with the chinlock and that goes on for a while, but Razor fights out of it and slugs him down.  Fallaway slam gets two.  Ref gets bumped in the corner and IRS grabs the briefcase, but Razor steals it and knocks him out for the visual pinfall.  Razor takes him off the top with the backdrop suplex and sets up to finish while the ref should be legally dead by now, but Shawn Michaels runs in and hits Razor with the fake belt, putting IRS on top for the pin and the title at 10:45.  BUT WAIT!  It’s actually a Dusty Finish, as the second ref explains the situation while IRS is celebrating, so THIS MATCH MUST CONTINUE and the Razor’s Edge ends it for real at 11:44.  Needlessly overbooked with a dumb finish.  4 for 6.

Razor Ramon v. Jeff Jarrett

From RAW in 1994 in a match I don’t even remember so it’s new to me.  Vince makes fun of Jarrett for “spending his spare time watching reruns of Hee-Haw” and then references a bunch of stuff from it.   Thou dost protest too much.  The commentary places this one in April of 94, the week before Razor dropped the title to Diesel on Superstars.  Well actually a month AFTER in real time, but you know.  Jarrett takes Razor down and works the arm, but he goes for a bodypress and gets slammed out to the floor.  Back in, they slug it out and Razor clotheslines him, which Vince classifies as “mixing it up in a rough house fashion”.  He certainly was good at that.  They fight to the floor and Jarrett puts the boots to him, and back in for an elbow that gets two.  Jarrett goes up with a fistdrop for two, while Randy Savage goes on a whole deal about how George Foreman should come out of retirement and face Michael Moorer.  Amazingly, this ended up being a thing that happened, and in fact Foreman scored one of the biggest upsets in boxing history and won the World title before going back into retirement again.  We take a break and return with Jarrett getting a sunset flip for two, and Jarrett goes to a sleeper, which Razor suplexes out of.  Razor makes the comeback and Jarrett tosses him as Vince declares it a SEE SAW MATCHUP BACK AND FORTH, and Shawn Michaels wanders out to lay the badmouth on Razor.  So Razor beats up both guys and makes the comeback in the ring, clotheslining JJ to the floor before beating on Shawn again until Diesel runs in for the DQ at 11:41.  Nice of the referee to finally call for the DQ after THREE PEOPLE were in the ring against Ramon!  Was he letting it play out and seeing where it went?  COME ON REF!  Razor and Jeff had good chemistry together, though.  5 for 7.

Yokozuna v. Razor Ramon

And we finish with another dark match from some point in 1994, likely after WMX because Yoko doesn’t have the belt here.  Yoko attacks to start and puts him down with a clothesline, but Razor slugs back and sends him to the floor.  Yoko uses the racket to put Razor down and then brings him back in and throws him out again.  Oddly, they’ve got the heat machine going for this one, which they don’t usually do for Coliseum Video exclusives like this.  Yoko with the nerve hold, but Razor fights out of that, so Yoko slugs him down again and drops the HULKBUSTER legdrop on him to send him to the floor.  Back in, Yoko goes back to the nerve pinch and then chokes him out on the mat, but whips Razor into the corner and misses the charge.  Razor makes the comeback and puts him down after three clotheslines, but Crush runs in for the DQ at 9:12 before we can find out if he can hit the Razor’s Edge.  Well, we’ll never know, I guess.  The heels threaten a beatdown, but Lex Luger makes the save.  Odd that those two never really crossed paths, either as a team or opponents.  Kind of a lackluster end to the tape.  5 for 8.

So obviously this was covering only a very specific period in 1994, but it was a nice look at that time and had enough decent matches, and one all time classic, to make it a recommendation.