The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 02.11.22

The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 02.11.22

Taped from Atlantic City, NJ

Your hosts are Excalibur, Ricky Starks, Taz & Chris Jericho

The Young Bucks v. Roppongi Vice

Nick attacks both guys at the bell, but Trent sends him to the floor and Rocky gets a rana out there.  Back in, Matt gets pinballed in the corner and Trent hits a lariat for two.  RV with a pair of corner clotheslines and they dump Nick to the floor and hit Matt with stereo knees to chase him as well.  The Bucks decide to walk out, but actually sucker Vice into a pair of superkicks and then sprint into the ring and try to beat the count!  Oh that was clever.  Rocky beats the count at 9 and the Bucks double-team him to take over and toss him for a Nick springboard dive.  Orange Cassidy threatens to get involved, but then retreats under the ring in a show of passive resistance.  The Bucks haul him out, but instead they get some DANHAUSEN, who proceeds to curse the Bucks and gets a big pop from the crowd.  Yes, I’ve bought my Danhausen t-shirt from ShopAEW, why do you ask?  I also bought a CM Punk hoodie, wanna fight about it?  The Bucks send Trent to the floor and DESTROY him with a baseball slide that sends him inside out, and the Bucks follow with stereo apron bombs onto the HARDEST PART OF THE RING.  Back in the ring, Matt does the sarcastic babyface fire on the wrong corner, and then “tags” himself in and runs wild on Rocky Romero while channeling Ultimate Warrior.  And the Bucks stop for a hug, complete with zoom-out, but Rocky hits them with a double rana and it’s the real hot tag to Trent.  He suplexes Matt on his head and hits a tornado DDT on Nick.  They head to the floor and Roppongi hits a Doomsday Device off the apron onto Matt, and back in for a double stomp on Nick, into a knee strike from Trent, which gets two.  Nick escapes a german suplex and hits his own, but Trent pops up and hits his german suplex, and then we get double german suplexes from Roppongi Vice.  The Bucks try to no-sell it and hit superkicks, but then everyone is down off that.  Rocky slugs it out with Matt, but the Bucks try to reverse him into the Meltzer Driver and Rocky rolls up Matt for two.  Matt goes up for More Bang for Your Buck, but Trent brings him down with a german suplex and hits the Strong Zero for two.  Another Doomsday Device for Matt, but he lands on his feet and they hit the Meltzer on Rocky for two, with Trent saving.  Superkick Party puts Trent on the floor and sets up the BTE Trigger on Rocky, and that finishes at 13:13.  This was literally non-stop action from start to finish.  ****  And then Trent saves Orange Cassidy from a Buck beatdown, but Jay White makes another cameo and gives him a Blade Runner.  God I hate that guy and his stupid smug face.  I hope TK slams the Forbidden Door in his face and leaves him back in Japan.

Meanwhile, Bryan Danielson denies that Jon Moxley turned down his offer, because Mox only had a “one night stand” with CM Punk and it means nothing.  He wants a long term relationship!  Matt Sydal and Lee Moriarty interrupt, and Sydal is offended that Bryan would try to break up their relationship.  Moriarty pledges that he can be pretty violent.  So Bryan gets all turned on and wants to see some VIOLENCE from Moriarty on Dynamite.  That’s probably not gonna work out for Moriarty the way he wants it.

Dr. Britt Baker DMD v. Robyn Renegade

I wasn’t aware Renegade had any children in the business.  Speaking of familial ties, Robyn’s twin sister went viral on Twitter yesterday with a notable typo about how Robyn is going to “lick ass” on this show, which I suppose is one way to attract the valuable 18-49 demo.  Britt takes her down with a wristlock and slams her for two.  Renegade charges and misses a knee in the corner, and Britt goes to work on her and elbows her for two before choking her out on the ropes.  Robyn fights up and Britt hair-slams her down again and beats on her in the corner while checking her hair.  We take a break and return with Robyn making a comeback with a shotgun dropkick in the corner, and she goes up with a frog splash for two.  Robyn tries a suplex, but Britt flattens out and counters it before booting her in the face a few times.  Britt with a ripcord elbow and the neckbreaker, which sets up the curb stomp for the pin at 7:28.  Mostly a squash with Britt toying with her opponent but Renegade got a few hope spots and it ended up being a decent little showing for her.  **1/4  Britt continues on with the Lockjaw, but Thunder Rosa saves and beats on Britt until Jamie Hayter arrives and lays her out in turn, which brings out Mercedes and the henchwomen fight over who gets to beat up Rosa.

Meanwhile, Legit Leyla Hirsch and Kris Statlander have words for each other.  Kris telling her that she’s glad Leyla’s parents gave her up for adoption is pretty cold, even for an alien.

HOOK v. Blake Li

Li tries for a takedown and Hook stuffs it and goes for a guillotine, forcing Li to make the ropes.  And then Hook lays WASTE to him with punches in the corner and hits him with a huge gut wrench.  Judo throw out of the corner and Hook ties him up in an arm submission, but QT annoys Hook and distracts him.  Li goes up for something fancy and Hook just sidesteps him in boredom, and then destroys him with a T-Bone suplex before smashing him with crossfaces and finishing with the REDRUM at 2:52.  Didn’t even mess up the glorious hair.  But is the hair better than Joe Gomez?  And who would win in a fight between them?  Oh man, I’m going down a painful road with this kind of speculation. ************

AEW World tag team titles:  Jurassic Express v. The Ass Boyz

JB works on Austin to start and takes him to the floor with a rana, and then Colton comes in and gets clotheslined to the floor as well.  The Gunn Club regroups, but Luchasaurus heads over and beats on them, before heading back in and smacking Austin down.  Jungle Boy comes in with a swanton for two, but Colton gets a blind tag and puts JB down with a lariat, prompting an Ass Boyz chant from the crowd. Colton whips JB into the turnbuckles while Taz suggests a more mild chant, like Buttocks Boys, instead.  Colton with a headlock on the mat and Jungle Boy fights out, but Austin takes out Luchasaurus and prevents the hot tag.  They bring JB back to the Ass Ranch, but Luchasaurus helps Jungle Boy hit a german suplex and make the real hot tag.  He runs wild and hits them with a double clothesline, but the Ass Boyz escape a double chokeslam and bail to the floor.  Jungle Boy hits them with a dive and sends Colton back in for a chokeslam and standing moonsault that gets two.  The Gunns take Luchasaurus to the floor and JB accidentally dives onto his own dinosaur buddy, and back in Colton uses the ropes and gets two.  This allows Billy Gunn and Christian to scuffle at ringside, and Colton pays tribute to his dad by hitting Jungle Boy with the belt for two.  That was Billy’s finish for years!  The Gunn Club sets up Jungle Boy to finish, but Luchasaurus recovers and tosses Colton into the crowd to get rid of him.  Jungle Boy hits Austin with a Killswitch and pins him to retain at 12:00, thankfully ending the Gunn Club’s stupid undefeated streak for good.  This was a really good main event with the Gunns way overachieving considering their experience level and genetic predisposition to suck.  ***1/2

Hell of a show this week, actually.  See what putting the Young Bucks in the opener can do for you?  I rest my case.