The SmarK Rant for AEW Dark Elevation – 02.07.22

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dark Elevation – 02.07.22

Taped from Chicago, IL

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Paul Wight & Mark Henry

Bobby Fish v. Robert Anthony

Anthony’s got some sweet gear, I’ll give him that.  Fish misses the slingshot senton and Anthony takes him to the floor for some chops and then back in for more of those and then evades Fish in the corner and gets a dropkick.  Anthony with a delayed suplex and he holds that for a minute, which gets one.  But then he gives Fish some smack talk and gets into a striking battle, and that proves to be a bad idea.  Fish beats on the leg with kicks and takes him into the turnbuckles, then follows with a sliding clothesline for two.  Fish mule kicks him down again, RIGHT IN THE BREAD BASKET as Wight channels his inner Gorilla, and a side suplex gets two.  Fish tries a sleeper and Anthony runs him into the turnbuckle to break, but Fish gives him an exploder into the ropes and puts his lights out with the head kick at 5:15.  Impressive showing from an 0-6 guy!  1 for 1.

Diamante, The Bunny & Emi Sakura v. Skye Blue, Queen Animata & Heather Wreckless

Well this is quite the trio on the heel side.  Diamante picks a fight with Blue as Wight and Henry discuss HOT NASHVILLE CHICKEN, and Blue superkicks Diamante into the babyface corner.  “She kicked her so hard her momma felt it!” notes Henry. Wreckless comes in and gets suplexed into the heel corner.  She is TINY.  Sakura comes in with some chops and a bodyblock in the corner, and a backbreaker gets two.  Sakura gets a funny spot where she forces Blue to sunset flip her own partner and then ties them both up in a submission move.  Over to Bunny, who continues beating on Wreckless with a sliding clothesline in the corner.  And then all three heels hit the Bunny’s finisher on the faces at the same time and that’s all at 4:00.  This was a bit of a cluster.  1 for 2.

Scorpio Sky v. Stephen Wolf

Ethan Page joins us on commentary for this one while Sky works a headlock on Wolf and then takes him down and rakes the boots on his face.  Ethan clarifies that if either one of the team wins the TNT title, they both win it.  Sounds like COMMUNISM to me.  Sky drops elbows on Wolf’s neck and goes to a chinlock.  Wolf fights out and pulls down the imaginary straps, but Sky cuts him off and finishes with the cutter at 3:35.  Ethan Page dancing to the theme song afterwards and then snapping at Henry for interrupting him is good for a point.  IT’S MY REVIEW, COME AT ME.  2 for 3.

Julia Hart v. Arie Alexander

Arie attacks Julia to start, but that backfires and Julia puts the one-eyed beatdown on her in the corner.  Hart with the back kick and a standing moonsault, and she follows with some running elbows in the corner and a bulldog into a figure-four sleeper for the submission at 1:45.  I think the half-blinded-cheerleader-possessed-by-cult-leader gimmick is so overdone these days.  2 for 4.

Dante Martin v. Aaron Solo

Dante takes a headlock and hiptosses Solo into another headlock on the mat, but Solo escapes that and hits Dante with a knee.  Dante bails to the apron and Comorodo trips him up, allowing Solo to hit a baseball slide and drop elbows while Mark Henry gives us his impression of Snuffleupagus.  Not bad, actually.  Dante makes the comeback, but Comorodo runs interference again and Solo gets an enzuigiri for two.  Finally Dante hits Comorodo with a tope and comes back in with the double moonsault to finish at 5:01.  Good enough but not like a super memorable Dante performance or anything.  3 for 5.

The Gunn Club & The Acclaimed v. Brock-Lee, Lee Moriarty & Matt Sydal

The Acclaimed even roast their own partners with the “Ass Boys” thing in their rap, which has both Wight and Henry offended.  But then they make up and bond with their finger deal.  “They made it weird!  They’re doing the weird thing!”  Lee and Lee double-team a Gunn to start, although to clarify only one of the Lees is half of BROCK-LEE.  The Acclaimed Asses try to go after the faces, but Sydal chases them off and everyone regroups on the floor.  Back in the ring, Brock works on Austin while Henry finally figures out that Brock is Arn’s son.  “Yeah, his mom had nothing to do with making that kid” notes Wight.  Colton comes in and beats on Moriarty with clotheslines on the ropes and Caster gets a chinlock.  Over to Bowens, who slugs Moriarty down for two, but Moriarty suplexes him and tosses Caster, setting up the hot tag to Other Lee.  He throws dropkicks and a cutter on Austin, and follows with a moonsault into an inverted DDT.  But then he goes up and Bowens kicks him down.  Sydal comes in with a double knee on Bowens, but Colton gets rid of him, and then Brock hits him with a AA DDT.  Caster grabs his chain and Lee Johnson kicks it away, but Colton hits Lee with the boombox and Austin rolls him up for the pin at 7:12.  “There was a lot going on in that match!” notes Wight.  Indeed.  4 for 6.

Dr. Luther & Serpentico v. Best Friends

Luther slugs it out with Chucky to start and gets chased out, and Best Friends drop the double elbow on Serpentico.  Trent takes him to the corner for a running elbow while Henry shares his philosophy on trust issues:  “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, I’ll kick you in the face.”  Fair enough.  Luther comes in and the Chaos Project double-team Trent with an assisted senton from Serpentico that gets two.  And they do their own hug as Luther claims that they’re the real best friends.  Well not from a copyright standpoint.  This annoys Trent enough to fight back with chops on poor Serpentico (“In a drawer full of knives, he’s a spoon” notes Tony) but Luther slams Serpentico onto Trent.  Then Luther wants to be slammed, but Serpentico can’t get him up, and Trent comes back and makes the hot tag to Chuck.  Powerbomb on Serpentico gets two.  Chuck takes Luther to the floor and runs him into the stairs, and then Best Friends finish destroying Serpentico and stop for a hug before the Strong Zero finishes at 6:39.  Stupid but harmless fun. 5 for 7.

A fun show with a little bit of something for everyone this week.  Guys like Chaos Project are pretty much perfect for shows like this one, because they have enough name value to make it seem like a “real” main event but can still get destroyed by the real stars.  I continue to greatly enjoy dedicating an hour to this every week.