A better Rumble

I can overlook Kofi's spot going awry, but it's much harder to overlook how boring and uneventful the rest of the men's Rumble was. They've had literally weeks to plan this thing. I came up with the following over the course of the last 15 minutes because I
have nothing better to do. I'm biased, but am confident the below additions/revisions would have made for a better Rumble despite it not taking weeks of planning to come up with.


– Nakamura and Styles start and last until the mid-20s where they fight onto the apron, and Nak low blows Styles to eliminate him (history repeating itself!) and then as he's doing his “come on!!!” taunt to AJ on the outside, Boogs kicks him off the apron.
Poetic justice, every man for himself, etc. Also have to do a spot where a geek charges at Nakamura as he's by the ropes and he does his “bend backwards while holding onto the top rope” pose and the geek goes flying out over the top.

– A Sheamus/Holland vs Corbin/Moss showdown.

– A Bad Bunny/Priest vs Mysterios showdown with stereo 619s. It breaks down and Priest winds up dumping Bunny as Dominik eliminates Rey. Every man for himself, Eddie's revenge, etc.

– Knoxville comes in around 24, eliminates an overconfident Sami. Sami comes back in and lays out Knoxville with a Helluva Kick before being dragged away by refs. Knoxville drags himself to his feet as 25 comes in and Knoxville takes their finisher. Knoxville
stays down until 26 comes out, gets to his feet, and 26 hits THEIR finisher on him, putting him down again. Rinse, repeat until Brock at 30. Knoxville, having taken five different finishers at this point, takes one look at Brock and eliminates himself. On
his way to the back, Sami comes back out and kicks him again. The other Jackass guys come back and finally carry him to safety.

– Big E has a flurry of offence where he rocks Brock, gets him over the top rope and onto the apron and goes to hit his spear through the ropes to the outside, eliminating Brock in the process. Just as he's about to eliminate Brock, Owens superkicks Big
E and eliminates him instead because Owens is a dick.

– A spot where 3 or 4 guys gang up on Brock after Big E hurt him and hold him down in the corner and encourage Shane to go coast to coast on Brock while they hold him in place. As Shane goes up top, Owens knocks him off and eliminates him because Owens
is a dick.

– Orton eliminates Riddle because every man for himself and surely they're facing off at Mania. Also, every man for himself!

– Final 4: Brock, Drew, Owens, Orton. Having saved Brock from doom twice, Owens tries to broker a deal with Brock to help him eliminate the other two. Brock thinks about it, F5s Owens and eliminates him. Irony, poetic justice, every man for himself, etc.
Orton hits Brock with an RKO but walks into a Claymore and gets dumped.


– Brock and Drew fight THROUGH the ropes to the outside and basically do a mini-streetfight out there. They fight into the crowd, go through announce tables, hit finishers on the floor, etc. They crawl back into the ring and Drew hits a Claymore. He gets ready
to hit one more but walks into an F5 and Brock dumps him to win. We go backstage with Reigns looking pissed and Heyman looking worried as Brock celebrates in the ring. End scene.

Sure, there's so many better ways they could have booked everything about that Rumble.