The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 01.21.22

The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 01.21.22

Live from Washington DC

Your hosts are Excalibur, Taz, Ricky Starks & Chris Jericho

Jon Moxley v. Ethan Page

Page wins a lockup battle to start and hits Mox with chops, but Moxley puts him down with a back elbow and bites him in the corner.  Well he did warn us that he only drinks blood now.  Page shoulders him out of the corner and puts him on the floor for a beating on the table.  And the table breaks even under Moxley’s emaciated frame!  How was that thing even standing up under its own weight?  Back in the ring, Page catches him with a dropkick to the knee on the way in and follows with a backbreaker on the ropes for two.  Page just gives him some shots to the jaw on the ropes, and then Moxley tries a blind charge and misses a charge as you non-Bulgarians take a break.  They head to the floor and Page works on the arm, ramming Mox into the post and tossing him into the front row.  Back in the ring, Page tries the Edge, but Moxley slips out and rolls him up for two.  Mox with a pair of German suplexes, which is a move NOT named after a Nazi U-Boat commander for those keeping track, and he makes the comeback.  They slug it out and trade slaps, and Moxley puts him down with a lariat.  He goes to finish, but Page escapes and hits him with a pair of high kicks and a brainbuster for two.  Page goes to a half-crab as this match definitely feels like it’s going past the peak, but Moxley escapes and sends him to the floor for a dive. They head to the top and Page brings him down with a powerslam for two, but Mox reverses to a crucifix for two.  Moxley beats on him with elbows and knees to the head, sinks in the bulldog choke, and taps him out at 10:18.  This would have been better about 4 minutes shorter, as Mox was definitely winded by the end and probably needed to run through Page a lot stronger.  **1/2  Hopefully he’ll be looking better for the GCW PPV on Sunday.  Which yes, I’m going to order and review.

And hey, should you wish to order the show and put a few bucks in the blog’s pocket, use my link and get it from Fite.TV because it’s pretty cheap anyway:

I’ve never seen a GCW show but I’m intrigued enough by the lineup to give this one a look.  Hopefully the mystery opponents for the Briscoes are who everyone suspects they are.

Speaking of giving a look, Moxley bumps into Bryan Danielson on the way back to the dressing room, setting up a do-over of the tournament finals that we missed out on.

Meanwhile, Jurassic Express are coming to stomp the Ass Boys into the ground.

Nick Jackson v. Trent? Beretta

Damn Covid has now robbed us of Roppongi Vice reuniting on Rampage.  I’m confused as to why they couldn’t just swap in one of the other 18 members of the Best Friends and keep it a tag match, though.  Trent gives Nick a clean break on the ropes, but Nick takes him down with the ropewalk wristlock.  Trent gives him chops in the corner and gets a northern lights suplex for two, but hurts his own neck in the process.  And then he misses a bodypress attempt and clotheslines himself on the middle rope, which doesn’t help either.  Nick hauls him back in with a neckbreaker in the ropes and then sends him to the floor for a running kick off the apron.  Back in the ring while the announcers bury Cutler’s cold spray technique, and Nick beats on the neck and then snaps the neck on the top rope.  Trent bails to the floor and Nick follows with a dive where he actually trips on the rope and loses his balance on the way down.  That’s a rarity for the Bucks.  Back in the ring, Nick takes out the neck again, and they fight to the top, where Nick brings him down and follows with a senton that misses.  They slug it out and Trent comes back with a clothesline and a gunther suplex and running knee for two.  Nick takes him to the floor, but Trent spears him out there and back in for a backdrop driver.  Tornado DDT gets two.  Nick gets a german suplex, and so does Nick, and both guys are out as a result.  Nick bails to the apron and comes in with a destroyer for two, and they trade forearms.  Nick gives him a spinkick and beats on him in the corner to set up a bulldog, but Trent suplexes him and follows with a lariat, setting up a piledriver for two.  They fight to the apron, the HARDEST PART OF THE RING, and Trent gets backdropped out there, and Nick brings him back in for a 450 that gets two.  Superkick is ducked, however, and Trent finishes with Strong Zero at 14:00.  Took a little while for Nick to get into the groove of doing a singles match again but it ended up as a hell of a match with some crazy bumps from both guys.  ****

Meanwhile, Mercedes and Thunder Rosa have some SPICY words for each other.

And now enough waiting, it’s time to SEND FOR HOOK.

HOOK v. Serpentico

A sign notes “Give Hook a title shot”.  You mean give the champions a Hook shot.  Serpentico does his streamer gimmick, so Hook beats the s--- out of him and takes him down with a double wristlock before Serpentico grabs the ropes like a COWARD.  What kind of a man wears a mask AND a kimono anyway?  And then Hook just picks him up and chokes him out at 1:10 like the coward he is.  ************3/4  Had he choked out Serpentico with his own streamers and unmasked him, I’d have added the extra ¼*  This brings out QT to continue bitching about Hook, so he gets thrown on the ramp as well.

TBS title:  Jade Cargill v. Anna Jay

Man, there’s about 10 minutes left in the show, which gives me a bad feeling that they’re gonna try going long with Jade again.  Jade works a headlock to start and overpowers Anna, before catching her on a bodypress attempt and hitting a fallaway slam.  Jay rolls her up for two and Jade puts her down with a clothesline, so Anna bails to the floor to take a breather.  This gives us the epic posedown between Jade and Johnny Hungie, and Anna attacks Jade from behind and runs her into the apron as a result.  Back in, Anna slugs away in the corner, but Jade catches her with a spinebuster for two.  Jade stops for some pushups and puts the boots to Anna in the corner as the crowd actually does a dueling chant for them.  Jade with an overhead suplex for two.  Jade gives us some basketball moves and hits a running elbow in the corner, but Anna fights back with the choke from the apron before Jade necks her to escape.  Anna makes a comeback in the ring with her kicks and a flatliner.  Mark Sterling gets involved and Johnny takes him out, but Jade tries to finish Anna with the glam slam.  Anna slips out and reverses to the choke, but Jade fights out of that.  So Anna does it again in the corner, but Jade powers out of that and powerbombs her.  And the glam slam finishes at 8:34. This was again, too long, but not so long that it made either one look bad or anything, and the result was an entertaining main event with better chemistry than most of Jade’s opponents so far.  ***

Nothing wrong with this one.  Better crowd here than for Dynamite, too, for whatever reason.