The SmarK Rant for AEW Dark Elevation – 01.17.22

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dark Elevation – 01.17.22

I’ve never actually watched this show before and I’m just in the mood for something short and fun tonight so I can get back to watching Peacemaker, so let’s give it a look!

Taped from Raleigh, NC

Your hosts are Excalibur & Mark Henry

Matt Sydal & Lee Moriarty v. JR Miller & Marcus Cross

Sydal wins a kick battle with Cross, which was frankly a bad idea on the part of the jobber, and Moriarty comes in with a double stomp to the arm and wraps him up in a submission. Cross manages to bring in Miller while Henry quotes ROADHOUSE…

…and the faces double-team Miller into a double stomp from Sydal. But then Cross comes in and kicks Sydal from behind to allow our underdogs to take over again, dropping an elbow on Sydal before getting his shine cut off by a rana right away. Back to Moriarty, who leapfrogs Cross and takes Miller to the floor with an armdrag, and then puts Cross down with a forearm and wrestles him down into an STF for the submission at 3:23. Marcus Cross was certainly trying to make the most of his 3 minutes and this was a fun squash win. 1 for 1.

Tay Conti v. Ameera

Tay has been posting photos of herself and Sammy hanging out in Brazil now that she’s back on Twitter, and the shorts are still short, don’t worry. Not that I’m stalking her, I would like to add from a legal standpoint in case authorities attempt to use this as evidence years later. Ameera manages to slug Tay down right away and rolls her up and into a high kick, but Tay catches her and swings her into a uranage. Excalibur notes that Big Bossman was huge in Brazil, but Henry doubts him. Tay wraps her up and finishes with the TayKO at 1:58. 2 for 2.

Colten & Austin Gunn v. JB Cole & T.I.M.

Excalibur references the hot new trend of calling them the “Ass Boys”, which HAS to mean that there’s contact with Danhausen on the part of AEW. TIM takes Austin down and goes to work on the arm, and Cole comes in to continue that while Henry relates his history of getting distracted by “the girls in the front row” years ago. It was the 90 year olds that proved to be the problem for him. Colten comes in and hits Cole with a dropkick to take over, but Cole fights back with a jawkbreaker on Cole and brings TIM back in. TIM runs wild for about 5 seconds and then gets cut off, and the COLT 45 finishes at 2:53 to continue their win streak. The Gunns were getting some legit crowd heat here and this was another fine squash. 3 for 3.

Frankie Kazarian v. Labron Kozone

So the whole Elite Hunter deal didn’t really work out very well for Frankie in the long run, I guess. Well, no every storyline can go somewhere. They trade wristlocks and Kaz takes him down for a headlock before putting Kozone down with forearms. Henry, meanwhile, wants to know why Kazarian keeps losing tag team partners. Man’s got a point. Kozone hides in the corner, so Kazarian beats on him and Kozone fires back and puts him down with an elbow. A diving headbutt gets two and Kozone chokes him out in the corner and hits a Bossman slam for two. They trade forearms and Kazarian comes back with a leg lariat and springboard legdrop, then follows with the CROSSFACE CHICKENWING at 3:13. Haven’t seen that in a minute. Kozone was game here. 4 for 4.

Ruby Soho v. Kenzie Paige

Oh nice, I like Paige and she’s got potential. Ruby grabs the arm and wrenches the elbow backwards in painful fashion, so Kenzie hits her with a rolling elbow out of the corner and puts the boots to her in the other corner. She stops to talk some trash, so Ruby stomps her, and Paige gets mad again and puts her down with a lariat. Ruby makes a comeback and hits her with an enzuigiri, but Paige clotheslines her on the ropes and hits her with a superkick. They trade suplex attempts, but Ruby hits the Riott Kick to finish at 3:12. Good hard-hitting little match. 5 for 5.

Private Party v. Chase Emory & Patrick Scott

Nice to see Private Party back in their normal gear and gimmick after basically getting their entire act and spot scooped from them by the Acclaimed. Kassidy takes Emory down for some posing, and Quen comes in and brings Scott in for a bit of a beating and a slingshot splash. Kassidy follows with his own. Scott gets trapped in the corner and worked over as Excalibur seems confused about which jobber is which. Does it really matter? So apparently the other guy is actually Patrick Scott, but they finish him with Gin & Juice anyway at 3:08. This was pretty lethargic compared to the usual high energy Private Party matches. 5 for 6.

Jay Lethal v. Alexander Moss

Has Justin Roberts always done the Savage impression when introducing “ELIZABETH, New Jersey?” Because that’s pretty awesome. Moss grabs a headlock on Jay, but Lethal escapes that with a dropkick and tosses him. Moss catches him with a clothesline on the way back in and puts the boots to Lethal on the ropes before going to a chinlock. Lethal fights out of that with chops and comes back with clotheslines and a leg lariat, and the backbreaker into the flatliner follows. Lethal goes up and drops the flying elbow, but that only gets two. But he WINKED first and everything! Moss decides to fight back again and hits a one-handed powerbomb for two. Moss tries a fireman’s carry, but Lethal reverses to a rollup for two. Backslide gets two. Rollup gets two. And the Lethal Injection finishes at 4:31. This was a fun match! 6 for 7.

The Private Party match was kind of a drag, but the rest was a really fun, no-nonsense 40 minutes of wrestling, exactly what I was looking for. Unfortunately the show frequently balloons to 3 hours so I can’t really watch on a regular basis, but this is the kind of show I’d be happy to recap every Monday if they can keep it at this length. Thumbs up this week.