The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 11.16.85

The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 11.16.85

OK, enough screwing around, let’s do this.

Look out, we got a TV-MA warning before the show!

Taped from Shreveport, LA

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Joel Watts

So our main event was supposed to be Ric Flair defending the NWA World title against Butch Reed, but due to the injury suffered by Reed last week, Ted Dibiase will be getting the shot instead.  Jim Duggan, stopping by for commentary, accuses Buzz Sawyer and Dick Slater of premeditating that attack on Reed, just like he premeditated the attack on his girlfriend, and he’ll be there for Butch Reed in case he needs anything.

Last week:  Ric Flair faces Butch Reed and loses a non-title match, but gets revenge via an attack from Dick Slater, as they team up to deliver a spike piledriver to Butch and put him out of the title match tonight.

Meanwhile, Butch Reed does a promo with a neck brace on, but notes that Flair made the mistake of leaving him alive, and he’s coming after Dick Slater when the brace is off and he’s gonna make him “two or three inches shorter”.  He’s either gonna smash his head in, or perform spinal fusion surgery on him.  Either way, I wouldn’t want to be Dick Slater.

Ric Flair joins us at the desk, and he wants crying towels for all the so-called men whining about a real man putting them in their place.  But now Ted Dibiase has his shot, and this brings Dick Murdoch out, offended that he’s not the one getting the title shot.  Flair tells him to get lost and go talk to Bob Geigel, because it’s not his problem.

NWA World title:  Ric Flair v. Ted Dibiase

Murdoch again steps in, telling Dibiase that he’s a great athlete, but he knows that he doesn’t deserve the shot.  Dibiase tells him off, so Murdoch nails him and tosses him out of the ring, smashing him into the post and busting him open.  Flair is like “Well, that’s a shame, Dibiase is out I guess and I win by forfeit.”

El Corsario v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

Corsario tries to attack, but Duggan catches him and hits him with an Oklahoma Stampede and backbreaker.  Duggan beats him in the corner, hits a clothesline, and finishes with the three point stance at 0:55.

Meanwhile, in the dressing room, Bill Watts updates us on Ted Dibiase’s condition, which isn’t great due to the blood loss and arterial damage and all, but Dibiase insists that he get the title shot regardless.  So Bill goes on a rant about how Roberto Duran quit a boxing match “due to a stomach ache” and it turns his stomach.  Anyway, Bill warns us in advance that Dibiase is still bleeding and the match is going to be bloody, so if you’ve got a weak stomach yourself, turn back now.

NWA World title:  Ric Flair v. Ted Dibiase

We try it again, as Ted is now bandaged up like the mummy, so Flair attacks him with chops, tosses him to the floor, and sends him into the railing.  Back in, Dibiase fights back with a backdrop and drops a fist, suddenly the biggest babyface in the territory after months of being a rat fuck.  Flair tries a suplex, taking the bandage off Dibiase’s head in the process, and then puts the boots to him and gets a back suplex for two.  Flair tosses him again and now Dr. Death comes out to watch Dibiase’s back, as Dibiase fights back with his own chops and sends Flair to the apron with a Flair Flip.  Suplex back into the ring gets two, and he gets an abdominal stretch into a rollup for two, but he’s losing so much blood that he can’t hold him down properly.  Flair tries a piledriver and Dibiase backdrops out of it and makes a comeback with his own chops until Flair goes down.  The ref keeps checking the cut and wants to stop the match, but Dibiase keeps fighting until Flair puts him down with an elbow.  Flair goes up and Dibiase slams him off and hits a powerslam for two, but he still can’t make the cover.  So this time he gets the figure-four, but Flair makes the ropes and then fights him off, kicking him off to the floor in a crazy bump.  And he can’t make it up, so he gets counted out at 7:14.  And then this brings out Dick Murdoch, who continues the assault from before, beating up referees as well, and then hits Dibiase with a terrifying brainbuster on the concrete.  I can’t even do this justice, Dibiase’s performance here was like a ***** classic on his own.

Back from the break, Dibiase has been taken out via ambulance.

The Bruise Brothers v. Ricky Starr & Shawn O’Reilly

Well the show must go on.  The jobbers try to mess with Porkchop and he gets all fired up and does something not unlike the dance from “This Is America”.  Boyd finishes Starr with a big splash at 1:30.

The Nightmare & Eddie Gilbert v. Steve Constance & Perry Jackson

The announcers talk about how Eddie talked forever before the match, but there’s none of that here, which is probably why the show is only 35 minutes long this week.  So what happened to THAT footage, I wonder?  Nightmare beats on Perry Jackson in the corner and drops knees on him.  Gilbert comes in and puts the boots to Jackson, but he misses a charge and Constance comes in.  And then he walks into a clothesline from Nightmare right away and Gilbert finishes with the Hotshot at 2:45.

Back from the break, Joel Watts shows footage of Dibiase being taken out on a stretcher, informing us that he’s suffered severe blood loss, convulsions, and cranial concussions.  The EMTs strap him down and put him in a neck brace, plus a respirator, and Joel lets us know that “the situation looks grim for him.”  Well there’s a teaser for next week!

An all-time classic episode of wrestling TV, with a star-making performance from Ted Dibiase made all the greater by Jim Ross’s commentary.  How did this man never get a World title?