World Championship Wrestling Weirdness – January 5th, 1991

So, we’re skipping a week due to missing content. But the Z-Man did take the TV title from Arn Anderson in the live broadcast, so the closing moments of that open the show.

Sid Vicious vs. Pablo Crenshaw

S---, bring back Rhubarb Jones, it’s the similarly awful Tony Gilliam. Having Gary Cappetta around and not using him is like having Howard Finkel around and not using him. Sid wore singlets for a lot of the previous year, but his rare blue one here makes him look like a giant Mr. Perfect. Crenshaw irritates Sid by avoiding a charge, so the helicopter slam is his punishment. Rare psychology by Sid, who targets the massive supporter on Crenshaw’s leg by kicking it. Awkward clothesline and legdrop set up the powerbomb for the win. The Greatest…

Paul E Dangerously speaks to jobber Rip Rogers who has a special match with Brian Pillman coming up where pinfalls don’t count in the first five minutes. Rip says he’s the marathon man, about a hundred times, and mangles the word carbohydrates. You know this is just setting up for a punchline.

Flyin’ Brian vs. Rip Rogers

Brian’s in neon green this week. Immediate pinfall attempt off a shoulderblock to establish the stipulation. One minute called as Pillman gets a dropkick and the referee forgets again that he shouldn’t be counting pins. Cue about half a dozen further attempts, killing the premise of the match. Two minutes in. Pillman walks into a boot and a clothesline, then gets dumped at three minutes. Rogers follows to the outside with a double axehandle off the top, which sees Pill go tumbling down with the guard rail. Back in with a headbutt around four minutes, and Rogers counters a monkey flip attempt. Rogers’ top caliber heel work is telling the crowd to shut up. A couple of missed elbowdrops from both men and Rogers falls through a slam then reverses a crossbody as five minutes elapse. Pillman goes to take a tumble but skins the cat, but gets bounced on a roll-up. Rogers follows out and gets clotheslined from the entrance way by Pillman in the best move of the match. Rogers actually gets an airplane spin on the outside, with the referee having abandoned the count and left them out there for half a minute. Pillman gets a spin kick and rolls Rogers back in, but meets knees on a flying splash attempt. Sunset flip off the top gets it. Gee, where to start. Pillman was trying his best, Rogers was trying to match him but wasn’t approaching his level, the referee didn’t have a clue what was going on, so it resulted in an energetic mess of a match. Because WCW.

Attention wrestling fans! You can vote for WCW’s sexiest wrestler! I know who won this, but s---, talk about misjudging the makeup of your audience. Because WCW.

Z-Man vs. Arn Anderson

Joining last week’s main event in progress, with Arn holding a rear chinlock. Arn jumps up and lands on Zenk’s knees with his crotch, then gets superkicked. Arn gets his leg on the ropes for a break. Arn takes a walk but then runs into Zenk’s sleeper on the way back in, reversed to his own. The old blocked double axehandle into his flip bump and Zenk gets his missile dropkick for the win and the belt. Pretty good for what we saw. The Greatest…

Promo with the Z-Man talking about his first challenger, Dr. X. Yeah, that famous competitor who’s been in the top ten for a long time.

Beautiful Bobby vs. Reno Riggins

Bobby has a title shot against Zenk at the upcoming Clash, which featured the return of Dusty Rhodes. Rare promo from Bobby in an insert shot, talking about already having a victory over him at Starrcade. Bobby gets the cool elbow on the throat, hammered back by slapping the fist, but Reno reverses an Irish whip and gets a handspring elbow that the camera totally misses. Riggins is actually a guy worth giving a bit in a match, not slugs like Italian Stallion. Handshake from Bobby for keeping him on his toes, but he gets a knee on a test of strength. Double leapfrog and a dropkick from Riggins, but Bobby gets a blindside clothesline. Punch to the gut off a sunset flip attempt, then the eye is gouged in the corner while saying hi to mom. Riggins gets frisky with the handspring again, but Bobby hits a bulldog before he can connect with the elbow and finishes with the Alabama Jam. The Greatest…

Paul E talks to Terry Taylor at ringside, with Taylor wanting a shot at the Z-Man too. This was a cold tease for Terry’s impending heel turn. Terry makes a fair point about getting some draws against Arn previously and another match breaking down because of the Doom/Horsemen issue. Pretty fair promo from Taylor ahead of his match later in the show with Arn.

Watch the Main Event! It’s got Norman and the Juicer against the Freebirds and Lawrence Taylor in the Danger Zone, who thinks Paul E is a girl’s name.

The Renegade Warriors vs. Ed Brock and Chuck Coats

Chris and Mark look like they swallowed a bunch of fluorescent paints and puked them down their gear. Chops aplenty and a dropkick from Mark to Chuck, then a goofy lifted dropkick and legdrop combo. Pretty nice missile dropkick by Chris from the apron to the outside. Jim Ross promotes coming up later: MINOTAUR! Brock comes in and gets double tomahawk chopped, leading to Chris dropping the ass off the top for the win, bombs away style. Wasn’t too bad. The Greatest…

Minotaur vs. Mountain Man Bailey

Oh, lord! This is the debut of Sadistic/Strangler Steve DiSalvo, a muscular guy who trained alongside Sting and the Ultimate Warrior. He’s got long, black hair and a pockmarked face with a massive leather brace on his right arm, which could be to hide an injury but is part of his gimmick. He wanders around ringside doing an enigmatic gimmick, looking down and making no contact with anyone. Harley is a much taller, much bigger guy, with no discernible muscle, wearing overalls and a wifebeater. Minotaur just slithers in and lightly tackles him, knocking him to the outside. In slow motion he picks him up (just about) and runs him into the post. Jim has already dubbed him methodical. Back in, he gets a prototype Diamond Cutter before incoherently yelling about “THE POWER OF MINOTAUR!”. Jim downgrades him from methodical to “tortoise-like”. Elbow with the leather braces finishes. About as bad a debut as you could ever have. DiSalvo was apparently quite a decent guy who had a brain in his head and knew he could get a few years of work with how built he was, but had zero interest in the wrestling business and got out when he started getting fat, and he got really fat. If this were a WWF he would’ve become a longtime punchline, but as it’s so obscure in WCW he’s just an oddity. Because WCW.

Lex Luger vs. Mike Samples

Samples is a big guy that seemed to bounce around a lot of places during the nineties. Luger’s still anchored in a feud with Big Cat, including their semi-famous football match at the Meadowlands, which Cat turns up in an insert to promote. With that in mind, Lex uses a flying shoulderblock to win. The Greatest…

Michael Wallstreet vs. Greg Sawyer

Alexandra York calls it less than six minutes for Wallstreet to win in monotone fashion. F---, if it’s taking you six minutes to beat this jobber call it a day. Wallstreet takes about a minute of the time to get his gear off for a start then finishes with the Stock Market Crash after three minutes. Because WCW.

Missy Hyatt talks to Wallstreet and York after the match and gets the info on the impact of the computer, seemingly with Wrestle ViXXXens in mind. Wallstreet is of course sweating like a pig, but it becomes secondary to Missy and Paul E continuing their ongoing snipefest. Paul E backs off when York stands up for herself too on the chauvinist count.

Z-Man vs. Dr. X

If I had to place a bet I’d say X is Randy Culley in one of his old Shadows outfits. Terry Taylor comes out to scout at ringside. Weird bit where X skips past a backdrop or hip toss, which looks clunky but at least makes sense. Zenk tries one of his infamous springboards to the top and slips off, managing to at least nudge X down with his shoulder, drawing some sneers from ringside. X manages to wrap the arm around the rope and kick it, then pulls the hair to keep a wristlock before Zenk gets a crappy clothesline and a superkick. Missile dropkick finishes. Zenk was just on another planet here. Because WCW.

Recap of the Freebirds working Rick Steiner into giving them a US tag team title shot two weeks ago. They then cut a post-match promo in the same clothes they were wearing during the challenge, so to me it’s obvious it was recorded before the match. And the Steiners are STUPID.

The Fabulous Freebirds vs. Jimmy McKinon and Keith Hart

Not that Keith Hart, just a jobber from Tennessee. Hayes dumps Hart and McKinon gets in his face, so he just left jabs him to put him down. Hart then takes a nasty backdrop from Garvin on the floor. He bounced on it, as Jim said. Back in, Garvin controls until McKinon tags in. Jimmy gets a gutwrench and Michael gets a pair of side suplexes and stops to bounce his pecs. Double DDTs and a double pin to finish. Far better than it had any right to be. The Greatest… Bob gets to count how many times Hart bounced on that backdrop in the replay.

Promo with Norman, who’s still around. We’ll be treated to a match between him and Sid next week.

WCW Classics – Gordon Solie takes us back to the first Clash, with Sting challenging Ric Flair and talking up the younger Stinger. Ironically, the Meadowlands show promoted earlier in the show would be the one where Sting dropped the belt back to the Nature Boy.

Promo with Arn Anderson prior to the next match, likening himself to Mike Tyson making a comeback, just without the stuff that would put him behind bars.

Terry Taylor vs. Arn Anderson

Slugfest to start, with Terry getting a chance sunset flip before getting punched. Jim tries to include Terry in the sexy wrestler competition – WHAT ABOUT ARN?! Probably some bears out there that could send a few postcards in. Side backbreaker for two and an extended look at Arn’s bald spot. Some Anderson tactics from Taylor, hammerlock slamming the Enforcer. Arn gets his own slam but misses an elbowdrop to put himself back on the mat. Chance spinebuster out of nowhere to break Taylor’s momentum, but Arn is too out of gas to go for a pin. A couple of his famous stomps where it sounds stiff, but you can tell he’s just dropping his heel down. Jim pimps his Ross Report and LT having some strong comments on Paul E that they can only put on the hotline, not on TV. What, is it about him bouncing a check? Taylor gets his knees up on Arn’s pump splash and gets the jawbreaker, then slam Arn off the top when he tries heading up. Some lame mounted punches that barely hit. Arn rolls through a crossbody and gets his feet on the ropes to finally get the win in their little feud. The Greatest…

Jim and Bob throw to Jim’s earlier interview with LT, as he’s cornering Lex in his match against Big Cat, who’ll be managed by Paul E for the night. LT thinks they’re a couple of pansies, his words. Even that would force a retake today.

Tim Horner vs. George South

Man, turn the lights off now, it’s not getting any better than this(!). Both fine workers, but plain as ready salted crisps. At least this has a highlight of announcing that Konnan will appear on the show next Saturday! Tim finishes with the O’Connor roll and bridge. Because WCW for sticking this out after the feature match instead of something more productive like Missy and Paul E bitching at one another.

And here is Jim with his “two infantile colleagues” ahead of their arm wrestling match. Paul E tells her to dress like a lady instead of dressing like what she really is, drawing a stiff slap to finish.

Melting it down: Mostly decent show other than the Rip Rogers abortion and the terrible Minotaur appearance, who makes Mantaur look like a good idea.