The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 11.19.21

The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 11.19.21

Taped from Norfolk, VA

Your hosts are Excalibur, Taz, Ricky Starks & Chris Jericho

Darby Allin v. Billy Gunn

Well here’s a dream match I didn’t have on my bingo card for 2021.  Apparently Billy’s AEW record is 43-6.  They put him over FORTY THREE other wrestlers since 2019?  The crowd chants “Mr. Ass”, which I’m not sure if serious, and Billy does a lockup and kind of swings Darby around and drops him on the mat.  Billy offers a test of strength, so Darby slaps him and Billy responds with a backdrop that puts Darby on the floor.  Billy tosses him down the ramp while Billy’s doofus kids put the badmouth on Darby, so Sting stares them off.  Back in, Billy stomps on Darby and stops for some family time with his kids, and then yanks Darby out of the ring and into the railing.  Darby fights back with a dive, but he puts the “suicide” into “suicide dive” as he misses and hits the railing.  Billy stops for a drink of water while the announcers debate the idea of snacking during matches and football players don’t do that, and then Starks questions what Jericho would even know about football, being from Canada and all.  Man’s got a point, the CFL barely counts as a football league.  After currency conversation we only end up with three downs instead of four!  Back in the ring, Billy tries a superplex, but Darby bites him to escape and then hits the Gunn Club with a coffin drop to the floor to temporarily shut them up.  Back in, Billy flings Darby into the corner like a hay bail, but he misses a blind charge and hits the post.  Darby comes back with the stunner and a Code Red that Billy can barely go over for, and the coffin drop doesn’t even get one.  So Darby hits a second one and that finishes at 8:34.  I did not care for this one, as it was all 50-something Billy slowly throwing Darby around and then taking two of his finishers to get beaten.  *  And then the Gunn Club takes out Sting as well, because another Billy Gunn push is just what the world was waiting for.  I didn’t mind babyface Billy Gunn doing fun midcard matches with Shawn Spears in the pandemic era, but this is no buys.

Meanwhile, QT Marshall throws out a challenge to CM Punk for Chicago.  QT getting killed should nicely balance out Colt Cabana getting his head kicked in.

Meanwhile, the Men of the Year are far from finished with the Inner Circle.  And Ethan Page thinks they shouldn’t be proud of beating Dan Lambert, who never even wanted to be in the match in the first place.  He’s got a point.

TBS title tournament, quarterfinals:  Jade Cargill v. Red Velvet

Velvet comes in hot and tries a rana, but Jade slams her down, so Velvet hits a spinkick and tries a bodypress.  Jade catches her and throws her with a fallaway slam and puts the boots to her, and they fight to the apron, where Jade gets a Rock Bottom on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING.  We take a break and return with Jade beating on Velvet in the corner and doing some pushups.  Velvet fights back with some sling blades and a bulldog, but Jade puts her down with a pump kick.  Velvet comes back with a backslide for two and a spear for two.  Velvet misses the dreaded FINAL SLICE, and Jade finishes with the Glam Slam at 10:17.  Pretty basic match here as it’s obvious that Jade’s going to end up in the finals or outright winning it at this point.  **1/4

Meanwhile, Thunder Rosa promises to beat Stooge #2 on Dynamite on the way to winning the TBS title and then she’s all fired up in Spanish.

Meanwhile, on Dynamite, Bryan Danielson is a DICK and I’m here for it.

WINTER IS COMING:  December 15

Adam Cole & Bobby Fish v. Jungle Boy & Luchasaurus

The crowd’s inability to wave in sync for “Tarzan Boy” pisses off Ricky Starks.  He’s not wrong.  Cole puts the boots to JB in the corner, but Jungle Boy takes him down with a wristlock out of the corner and then Cole slugs him down in response.  Fish comes in with a slingshot senton that gets two, but the Jurassics double-team him in the corner until a ref distraction allows the Undisputed Elite to take over again and double-choke Jungle Boy in the corner.  Cole with a neckbreaker for two.  Fish with forearms in the corner and a snap suplex for two.  JB fights back on Cole, but walks into a neckbreaker that gets two.  Fish with a backdrop suplex for two. He pounds away on JB with forearms in the corner and Fish goes to a chinlock.  JB fights back with a lariat on Fish, but Cole grabs the leg JUST before he can make the tag.  But then JB rolls away and makes the hot tag to the dinosaur.  Double clothesline and he goes for the double chokeslam, but the heels escape and everyone comes in for the pier-six brawl.  Jurassics with their double-team neckbreaker on Cole for two, but Cole hits JB with an enzuigiri and they hit their version of Chasing the Dragon on Jungle Boy for two. Cole tries the Boom, but Jungle Boy reverses that and they trade superkicks.  Cole with the Panama Sunrise, but Cole accidentally lands on Luchasaurus and gets powerbombed for two.  Fish saves and drags Cole back to the corner to tag himself in, making sure to grab the tag rope in a nice touch, and he hits Jungle Boy with a running knee in the corner.  Dragon screw, but he charges Jungle Boy suplexes him into the corner as the Bucks join us and Christian chases them off with his chair.  Adam Cole joins them, leaving Fish alone to get Snare Trapped at 15:25.  I like how they keep putting Jungle Boy over but hold off on putting him over Cole specifically, so that the inevitable singles match will still be a big deal.  Hell of a main event here.  ****

Not a great show for the most part, but the main event was tremendous and continues the storylines of poor Bobby Fish getting used and discarded by his “friends”, as well as Jungle Boy building to finally beating Adam Cole while racking up wins.  Billy Gunn however can…what’s the word I’m looking for here…oh yeah, suck it.