The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 11.03.21
Live from Kansas City, MO
Your hosts are Jim Ross, Excalibur and Tony Schiavone
Kenny Omega v. Alan Angels
Kenny beats on him with chops to start and chokes him out on the ropes while the crowd offers him a “Kenny No Balls” chant. Angels comes back with a leg lariat for two and he counters a snapdragon with an armdrag, but Kenny puts him down with the Kotoro krusher and a punt to the ribs for two. He sets up the V-Trigger, but Angels dodges it and sends Kenny to the floor before running him into the railing. But then Kenny returns the favor and beats on Alan outside until Angels gets a moonsault from the apron to the floor. Back in, a crossbody gets two. Frog splash follows, but he hits the knees and Kenny powerbombs him for two. He goes for the Tiger Driver, but Angels blocks him and they slug it out. Kenny goes for the One Winged Angel and Angels escapes from that, so Kenny hits a V-Trigger and that gets two. But then Kenny hits another pair of them and Angels is completely destroyed and pinned at 7:50. And since he’s the God of Pro Wrestling, he decides to taketh away instead of giveth, and that means a One Winged Angel on a chair. But Hangman makes the save and casually wipes out Nakazawa on the way down, before Kenny runs away from the buckshot lariat in some epic cowardice. A very good opener. ***
Meanwhile, Malakai Black warns “Tony” that Julius Caesar was betrayed by more than one person. Well that’s certainly ominous.
CM Punk joins us and he puts over Jon Moxley and his current situation, but also points out that Eddie Kingston isn’t here after interrupting him last week, but Punk will be on Rampage this Friday and he’ll be waiting there for Eddie. And also he would have taken Moxley’s spot in the tournament and probably faced Danielson in the finals, but now he’s not and that’s Kingston’s fault somehow.
Meanwhile, Miro’s road is paved with skulls ahead of him, but he’ll be forgiven.
Meanwhile, the SuperKliq want to stress that they’re TOUGH GUYS and aren’t afraid of no one. But then Christian Cage and Luchasaurus interrupt and everyone brawls into the arena, where Jungle Boy hits the Elite with a dive off the stage. The Bucks turn the tide with a cheapshot on Cage, but then JB takes out Matt and puts Adam Cole in the snare trap before Cage gives him a one man conchairto.
Meanwhile, Ruby Soho and Kris Statlander have words ahead of the TBS tournament. Weird to hear Statlander doing a normal promo.
AAA World tag team titles: FTR v. Samuray Del Sol & Aerostar
In case I haven’t mentioned it, FTR’s Midnight Express ripoff music is TREMENDOUS. Del Sol takes Cash down with a handspring into a headscissors and clears the ring, and it’s over to Aerostar, as Dax beats him down in the corner to take over. The luchadors team up with a dropkick on FTR and Samuray hits a somersault tope onto Cash outside and then probably earns himself a cease and desist letter from Jerry McDevitt as we take a break. Back with Aerostar diving onto Dax outside and then diving onto Cash inside, and Del Sol comes in and runs wild with kicks. Aerostar tries a double rana on FTR and they catch him, but Del Sol dropkicks them over and SDS gets two. We get stereo ranas from the luchadors for two and Aerostar takes Dax to the floor. Del Sol with the Salinas Del Sol but Dax pulls him out and gives him a brainbuster on the floor, while Cash reverses a victory roll on Aerostar and pins him with the ropes at 9:24. This was just nutty highspot after nutty highspot. I think FTR might be the best luchador team ever, just like they claimed! ***1/2
Meanwhile, Nyla Rose interrupts Shida’s 50 win celebration with Tony because they’re facing each other in the tournament’s next round.
The Inner Circle joins us to reveal their choice of American Top Team opponents, as Dan Lambert puts over his team’s credentials and isn’t worried about who the Circle picks. So Hager picks Junior Dos Santos, who apparently looks like Popeye. Santana chooses Andrei Arlovski. Paige Van Zant invites herself into the team along with her husband, because she wants to take on all five guys by herself. Jericho: “Well that joke writes itself. Maybe you can put it on your OnlyFans page.” And then for the big encore, Jericho chooses Dan Lambert to round out the team. The heat for these segments is just insane.
Meanwhile, Matt Sydal doesn’t take Dante’s betrayal personally and so now he’s training with Lee Moriarty and wants a tag team match.
TBS title tournament: Jamie Hayter v. Anna Jay
They trade headlocks to start while Excalibur shills Tony’s “Butts in Seats” book. SPEAKING OF BUTTS…Anna Jay now has joined the Name On The Butt Club. That’s where I was going with that. Hayter takes Jay to the floor, but Anna runs her into the railing and they fight back into the ring as we take a break. Back with Anna making a comeback and trying for the sleeper, but Rebel takes the ref and Britt trips her up, allowing Hayter to finish with a lariat at 4:56. A beatdown appears imminent, but Tay Conti makes the save and fights them all by herself. Team Britt overwhelms Tay again, but Thunder Rosa makes the save, ironically the only one not wearing tiny shorts this week. Well there’s always next week. **
Meanwhile, Jade doesn’t even care who wins between Red Velvet and the Bunny.
MJF joins us, still crabbing at Darby Allin and calling him an incel who can’t function as a normal member of society, and he’ll beat Darby with a headlock takeover at Full Gear. So Darby offers to let his anger out tonight, but MJF decides to walk away. Sting and an army of dorks in masks chase MJF back to ringside, and we get a brawl into the crowd where Darby gets a crazy clothesline over the railing to chase MJF away for good.
Andrade el Idolo v. Cody Rhodes
They slug it out to start and Cody wins that, but they both flip to the apron and Cody SWEEPS THE LEG and bounces Andrade’s face off the apron. Back in, Andrade comes off the top and Cody dropkicks him on the way down, but Andrade shoves him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cody teasing the Pedigree again, but Andrade escapes and puts him down with a back elbow for two. Andrade tries a running knee in the corner, but Cody hits him with a clothesline and now the crowd starts turning on him. Andrade reverses Crossroads into the rolling suplexes and finishes with a suplex into the turnbuckles. Andrade with a running knee in the corner, and that gets two. He goes up for a moonsault and misses, allowing Cody to come back and get booed for his punches. They trade figure-four attempts and Andrade wins that one, but Cody reverses it and Andrade makes the ropes. Jose the Assistant gets involved and Arn takes him out, but FTR appears from under the ring and clocks Cody with the AAA titles. Back in, Andrade hits the hammerlock DDT to finish at 10:05. *** As a Cody hater I’m still not satisfied with Cody losing yet again and would have preferred him to lose even harder, perhaps multiple times in the same match. The heels do some beating on Cody, but that sets up a TULLY VS ARN showdown, which is sadly not paid off because the Lucha Bros make the save and chase off FTR.
John Silver joins Tony in the ring and he’s facing Adam Cole this Friday, and Silver points out that it’s actually Silver against BUDGE and he’s all fired up and will perhaps cut Adam’s hair and make him into a manager. No one deserves that.
AEW World title Eliminator tournament: Orange Cassidy v. Miro
Orange still has the DDP rib tape so I don’t see this going well for him. Orange dodges a charge and uses the shin kicks, then runs away to the floor, where Miro hits him with an overhead suplex. We take a break and return with Miro continuing the beating in the corner, but Orange actually gets fired up and dropkicks him into the corner. Orange with the DDT for two. Orange goes for the punch and Miro bails to escape, so Orange dives onto him and puts them both through the ringside table. Miro barely beats the count, but Miro catches the Orange Punch, so Orange reverses to the Beach Break instead and gets two. Miro has had ENOUGH of this guy and superkicks him to set up Game Over to finish at 7:21 and advance to the finals. ** And we actually go off the air with nothing announced for next week! I think that’s a first.
This show was like the hardest of hard sells for the PPV, but I bought it, so it worked. Unfortunately we didn’t get a control center laying out the entire card but I assume that’s next week. Nothing classic on this one, but it was putting in the work and did the job it was intended to do.