The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 10.27.21

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 10.27.21

Live from Boston, MA

Your hosts are Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone & Excalibur

Bobby Fish v. CM Punk

Oh man, back to the long tights again for Punk.  He’s like an addict who needs an intervention for those things.  Fish goes for the leg kicks and Punk uses his awesome MMA defense, LOL, and takes him down with a headlock.  Fish kicks him down and goes to his own headlock before pounding Punk with knees in the corner.  Punk uses his patented BODY SLAM to put him down, and then does it again like a power crazed madman.  Will he do it not once, not twice, but THRICE?  Yes.  Yes he will.  Now there’s a dangerous spot that needs to be retired.  He’s literally picking up a man’s entire body and slamming it to the mat!  Fish somehow survives the onslaught and comes back with a slingshot senton to take over, and then beats on him with more knees and a suplex for two.  Fish tries a rear naked choke on the mat, but Punk fights out of that and clotheslines him to the floor, followed by a tope suicida.  Back in, Punk goes up and Fish bails to escape, then SWEEPS THE LEG on Punk while he’s on the apron.  I don’t know if you’ve heard, but it’s the hardest part of the ring.  Back in, Fish puts him down with a back elbow for two.  JR relates the old story about the one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.  Was that a real thing that people used to do back in the day?  How do you know when you’ve won?  Fish hauls him to the floor and kicks the leg out of his leg some more, and back in for a further beating in the corner.  They head to the top rope and slug it out, but Fish falls down first and Punk follows with the flying elbow, albeit a one-legged version.  They slug it out on the mat and Punk seems ready to come back, but Fish hits him with a vicious leg kick and drops him again.  Punk fights back with a leg lariat, however, and follows with a neckbreaker and the rising knee in the corner for two.  GTS is blocked by Fish and he takes Punk down with a dragon screw and follows with a sliding clothesline, but Jack rolls him up for two.  They fight for a backslide, but Punk powers him up into a GTS and pins him at 13:00.  Another gutsy come from behind win for the old gunslinger.  ****  Bobby Fish is such an interesting addition to the cast of characters, working a totally different style that somehow meshes perfectly with everyone else at the same time.

Meanwhile, Malakai Black isn’t concerned with taking the pinfall last week, because he turned the Nightmare Family on Cody and made the entire crowd boo him.  Also they’re apparently not done yet.  Kind of wish they were, to be honest.

MJF v. Bryce Donovan

The enhancement guy is from Boston, so this will probably go badly for him.  MJF runs him into the corner, hits the Heatseeker, and pins him at 0:33.  And then MJF puts over Boston, calling it a “shithole” and noting that he’ll have to skip his usual banging of the rats because they’re all fat and disgusting.  Also, he had sex with everyone’s mother apparently.  Huge if true.  MJF notes that it doesn’t matter if Omega or Hangman wins at Full Gear because he’s got next, and then Sting’s music hits and MJF reveals that he was just trolling us as usual.  But then the lights go out and we get a wacky Darby video, at which point Sting appears in the ring and uses the bat.  But then MJF retreats to the floor and we get an amazing shot of a fan in the crowd dressed like the invisible man, who reveals himself to be Darby Allin, and the babyfaces clear the ring, which sets up the Darby-MJF match for the PPV.  A tremendous segment, especially the reveal of Darby.

Meanwhile, Dr. Britt Baker DMD learns that she has to face Abadon on Rampage in a non-title match after walking out of a match on the Jericho Cruise.

TNT title:  Sammy Guevara v. Ethan Page

Sammy charges in and puts Page on the floor with a kneelift and follows with a dive, then tosses Page into the table and puts the beats on him.  Into the ring, Page gets a cheapshot and they slug it out, but Sammy flips over him into a dropkick that gets two.  Sammy with a snap suplex for two.  They slug it out again and Page gets a nasty chop in the corner, but Sammy kicks him in the spine and follows with a superkick before going up.  Page crotches him to bring him down and then drops him on the top turnbuckle with a backbreaker as we take a break.  Back with Page in control, but Sammy escapes the Ego’s Edge and makes the comeback.  Sammy with a double springboard cutter in an amazing spot, and the Spanish Fly gets two.  Page bails to the floor and Sammy follows with a shooting star press to the floor in a crazy spot.  Back in the ring, Sammy tries to go up and Page brings him down with an Iconoclasm for two.  Page to the top, but Sammy flies up there and tries a Spanish Fly, but Page blocks him with a slam off the top and then bowls him over with a shoulderblock for two.  Sammy goes dead weight while Page tries the Edge, so Page puts him on top instead and goes for it up there, only for Sammy to reverse it into a rana.  And a jackknife cradle finishes at 11:29 to retain the title.  This brings out Scorpio for the beatdown, but the Inner Circle saves and chases them off.  Tony Nese is UNIMPRESSED with this for some reason.  I dunno, I was pretty impressed with the match.  ***1/2  Chris Jericho adds his usual promo about how Dan Lambert is a fat headed moron, and then quotes Aerosmith for the cheap local pop.

Meanwhile, Bryan Danielson and Eddie Kingston have words with Tony about their tournament match, but Eddie has got some dark shit going on, and Bryan is here for it.

Meanwhile, The Lucha Bros are back again and issue a challenge to FTR for Full Gear.

TBS title tournament round one:  Hikaru Shida v. Serena Deeb

Interesting that they’re still shilling the pink shirts, but they no longer talk about Komen and now all the proceeds go to a non-profit in Florida instead.  I guess Punk touched a nerve.  Shida attacks to start, but Deeb takes her down and wraps the leg around the post.  Shida pulls her into the post and then breaks up the countout and hauls Deeb back in with a superplex for two.  We take a break and return with Shida beating on Deeb in the corner with a running knee, and a missile dropkick follows.  Delayed suplex gets two.  Shida with a german suplex and Dominator for two.  Running knee to the head gets two.  Deeb catches a knee strike and takes her down to take out the knee, but Shida sends her to the floor again.  Deeb trips her up and goes after the knee again, adding the ringpost figure-four in a tribute to Bret Hart, but back in the ring Shida counters a figure-four into a cradle for two.  Shida pounds her with knees, but Deeb catches one of them and rolls into a half crab, and then turns it into an inverted figure-four, only for Shida to make the ropes.  Deeb, still carrying the 50 win plaque around, goes after Shida with it, but Shida gets it from her and gives it to Aubrey.  Deeb pokes her in the eyes and rolls her up for two, but they trade rollups off of that and Shida traps her in a cradle for the pin at 9:58 in her own tribute to Bret Hart.  Or British Bulldog, whatever.  So Shida gets to have the plaque for real, but Deeb destroys her and wrecks the knee with a half-crab in revenge.  This was a hell of a deal.  ***1/2

Meanwhile, Tony reveals that Mike Sydal is injured, so instead Rampage will feature a singles match between Matt Sydal and Dante Martin again.  But Lio’s not sweating it.

AEW World title Eliminator tournament, round one:  10 v. Jon Moxley

10 should stick with the Deathstroke mask, it’s way cooler than the Joker one.  Moxley remains in a bad mood and immediately suplexes 10 and puts the boots to him, then takes him to the floor and runs him into the stairs before tearing up the mask and biting him.  10 hits the post and he’s busted open, but he fights back with a pump kick before eating a lariat.  And the Paradigm Shift finishes the beating at 2:05.  Well that was certainly a statement. **

Meanwhile, FTR is unimpressed by all of the Lucha Bros’ flips and it’ll be a fight at Full Gear.

Cody Rhodes joins us and he’s still getting booed, but he hears us, including the “old wrestling managers shouting at clouds on social media”.  And he talks about how he ALMOST hit a different move on Black to finish, and then maybe he would have broken his promise and went on to challenge for the World title.  But that would have been the easy way.  So he admits that his wife is too hot for him and his brother is better than him, so he’s not taking the easy way and he will not turn.  What a surreal promo this is.  And the crowd still boos him.  So Cody apologizes to Arn, and this brings out Andrade to talk some shit, before the lights go out and Malakai Black attacks with the mist.  And then Pac saves and chases off the heels, presumably setting up a tag team match sometime soon.

Evil Uno, Stu Grayson, John Silver & Colt Cabana v. The Young Bucks & Adam Cole & Kenny Omega

So we get dueling Kratos cosplay this week, as Stu gives his version, while Silver does indeed dress as Bambi.  Meanwhile, the Elite are busting ghosts, complete with newly remixed music and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.  Silver overpowers Cole to start, but Adam puts the boots to him in the corner, so Silver puts the antlers on and headbutts him.  Uno comes in, but Kenny slugs away in the corner while wearing his proton pack.  Uno misses a blind charge and splashes the proton pack by mistake, landing on the floor so that giant baby Nakazawa can splash him.  We have found our party match of the week, I see.  Back in the ring, Uno tries to ride Matt Jackson like a horsie and then the Dark Order triple teams him before Colt Cutler sprays cold spray in his face.  And we get a Dark Order pose as we take a break.  Back with Colt hitting a moonsault on the Bucks and slugging away, before somehow making the Bucks DDT each other.  Finally Nick superkicks him, but Silver comes in and cleans house on the heels, hitting a release german on Nick before walking into a Superkick Party.  Omega with a snapdragon and a triple superkick gets two.  It’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA as everyone trades highspots in a crazy sequence, but Matt knocks out the ref in the process.  So Matt goes low on Stu, but makes the mistake of pointing to his head to indicate intelligence and the Dark Order sneaks up on him.  But then the Elite all go low and get their proton packs and powerbomb Cabana onto the pile.  This brings the Dark Order horse into the ring and the Elite destroys him, thinking that it’s Hangman, but it’s actually Cutler, and then the Marshmallow unmasks, and THAT’S the Hangman, and Matt Jackson is fucked.  Deadeye for Kenny and the spinning powerbomb for Matt, and JOHN SILVER gets the damn pin at 11:33 to complete the night of babyface triumphs.  And the Dark Order all drinks beer to celebrate.  ***

This was just two hours of tremendous fun start to finish with an amazingly wacky main event and a great angle to end the show.  Plus they actually paid off the Halloween costume gags multiple times on the show.  This was a GREAT comeback after a few weeks of heel-heavy beatdowns and darkness and was just fun to watch.