The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents SuperTape III

The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents SuperTape III

I’m sure I’ve WATCHED this one at some point in my wrestling tape collecting life, but as for reviews I’ve only ever done the first and second volumes of the Supertape series.

Released 01.24.91

Hosted by Sean Mooney & Lord Alfred Hayes, who are piloting an airplane via green screen.  I wouldn’t let Hayes be driving any large motor vehicles.

Intercontinental title:  Kerry Von Erich v. Mr. Perfect

This isn’t the title change that was on a million cheap compilations, but rather a different one from a Maple Leaf Gardens show in October 1990.  Kerry shoves Perfect into the corner off the lockup and they stall for a bit, but Perfect grabs a sleeper out of the corner and Kerry immediately has to fight out of that in a weird choice of pacing.  Perfect goes right back to it, so Kerry powers out again.  And then Perfect goes to the sleeper AGAIN.  What the actual f--- is this match?  Did Kerry miss his afternoon nap or something?  So Kerry’s nose is somehow bleeding, and Sean isn’t sure what blow caused that.  Oh, I think we all know what blow caused the nosebleed.  Perfect gets two and slaps Kerry around in the corner, but misses a dropkick and Tornado makes the comeback.  Perfect goes up and lands in the Iron Claw, and Kerry follows with the Tornado Punch, which Mooney has to call “The Tornado” because I guess “punch” is banned at this point in 1990.  Perfect bumps to the floor and they fight out there until Kerry manages to run into the post at 7:37 and gets counted out.  This was AWFUL and I don’t how Kerry managed to get all his “stuff” over the border but he was clearly not in his right mind here.  Can you get drugs in Ontario?  Oh yeah, the Ford brothers, I forgot.  0 for 1.

Jimmy Snuka v. The Barbarian

Another match from the Toronto show.  We get an extended stall to start as they wander around the ring and don’t even lock up until 2:40 into the match, at which point Barbarian gets chopped down and leaves the ring for more stalling.  Back in, Snuka gets a bodypress for two and Barbarian retreats again.  Back in, more stalling, but Barbarian gets a cheapshot to take over and hits a clothesline so that he can have time for more stalling.  “He’s got to step up the tempo!” notes Lord Alfred Hayes in in a take so hot that it probably melted all the snow in the parking lot.  Do they have snow in Ontario?  Oh wait, Kerry Von Erich was there, I forgot.  Snuka bails and Barbarian chases him out and runs him into the post in the closest thing we’ve had to a highspot in the entire 10 minutes thus far.  Back in, Barbarian uses the power of the CLUBBING FOREARMS but Snuka unleashes the second highspot with a sunset flip for two.  And yeah, they did the thing where Barbarian blocks it and poses and then Snuka finishes the move.  Oh sorry, the match was going at too fast a pace, so let’s slow it down with a BEARHUG.  The fans in the crowd clapping for Snuka have better workrate than either of the guys in the match.  “What an exhausting encounter this has been!” notes Sean Mooney.  I love shoot comments that aren’t supposed to be shoot comments.  Snuka finally fights back and slugs away in the corner, and then goes to the middle rope with a flying headbutt for highspot #3.  That gets two.  Bodypress follows, but Barbarian rolls through for two.  Finally Barbarian boots him down and pins him in the corner at 15:18.  HE COULDN’T HAVE DONE THAT 10 MINUTES AGO?!?  0 FOR 2.

Tag Team Match of the Month:  Tugboat v. Earthquake

No, really, because Mooney points out that both guys are worth two people so it’s a tag team match.  So we’re in Springfield, IL, in October of 1990 for a Superstars dark match.  Tugboat attacks to start and throws Quake out of the corner, chasing him out of the ring.  Back in, Tugboat tries a headlock and Quake powers out and gets his own headlock.  And then Quake THROWS A DROPKICK and knocks Tugboat flat on his ass with it.  He kicked him right in the face!  Where did that come from?!  That’s like the opposite of a Watts dropkick.  Quake stomps him down and chokes away, but Tugboat fights back with the big fat splash.  But then he goes after Jimmy Hart and gets so mad that he does his OWN DROPKICK?!?  Quake gets tied up in the ropes, but Dino Bravo runs in for the DQ at 6:27, ruining everything as usual.  I mean, you had both Disasters throwing dropkicks, that’s gotta be worth a point.  1 for 3.

Ultimate Warrior & The Legion of Doom v. Demolition

From MSG in September as the LOD makes their MSG debut and Ax makes his MSG exit, and Warrior bowls over some poor geek photographer on the way into the ring.  Warrior cleans house on Demolition before the bell and say what you will, but the crowd is JACKED for this one.  But then Smash immediately beats Animal down, and Animal powerslams him for two.  Crush comes in and the LOD double-team him in the corner before Crush hits Hawk with a backbreaker.  He goes to the back with forearms, but Hawk dropkicks him and adds a shoulderblock and fistdrop for two.  Ax comes in and that brings in Warrior, who beats on him in the corner and then hits more clotheslines and slams while Demolition keeps feeding him.  But then a splash misses and I guess Warrior is face in peril for this one. That’s a weird choice, given that Warrior is one of the greatest hot tags ever.  He’s like a video game character who gets his Special Meter filled up while standing on the apron and then comes into the match loaded up with all three super combo finishers.  Smash and Crush haul him to the floor and beat on him out there.  Back in, Smash beats on the ribs and they put in the corner for some of the classic Demolition double-teaming, but Animal breaks up the Decapitation.  So Warrior makes his own comeback and makes the hot tag to Animal, who runs amok until the heels double-team him again.  So Crush beats on him in the corner and goes to a bearhug as I guess we’re getting another heat segment.  This match is really, REALLY, clunky.  Smash chokes out Animal on the floor for a bit and Crush blocks the tag, allowing Ax to choke Animal in the corner some more.  Smash with a back suplex for two.  He goes to a chinlock, but Animal powers out, so Ax comes in and goes to his own chinlock.  You’d think that after a decade of trying to get the Warriors, Vince would have just trusted them to do their own thing, but NOPE, here they are a month into the their run working a WWF style kick and punch match already.  Animal gets a clothesline out of the corner and makes the hot tag to Ultimate Warrior, who is of course a house of fire, and he pins Smash with the big splash at 13:09.  This was a giant disappointment on every level.  1 for 4.

Demolition v. The Legion of Doom

The kickass theme is now gone and replaced by generic brooding Phantom of the Opera music, and Ax is gone and Mr. Fuji is back.  So basically every way you could destroy what made the team great, they’ve now done.  This is a dark match from Wrestling Challenge in Syracuse on 11.20.90 for those keeping track. Animal beats on Crush to start and it’s immediately a pier six brawl, leading to the Demos retreating to the floor.  Back in the ring, Smash demands a test of strength from Hawk, which is likely to be a bad idea if he’s shot himself up with monkey hormones or whatever that day.  Hawk declines and decides to punch Smash in the face a bunch instead, and adds a shoulderblock.  Fuj the Stooge trips up Hawk and beats on him with the cane, as Demolition is so lame that they need their elderly manager to get the job done for them now.  Crush goes to a bearhug and then Smash comes in with a neck vice.  They sucker Animal in and double-team Hawk, and Smash necks him on the top rope for two.  Demolition Decapitation follows, but Animal makes the save.  Hawk comes back with a clothesline on Crush and makes the hot tag to Animal, who clotheslines both guys.  They set up the Doomsday Device, but Fuj gets involved again to break it up.  Smash hits a backbreaker and Crush follows with a flying knee on Hawk and then tosses him.  Meanwhile Smash tries a piledriver on Animal, but Hawk comes back in with a flying clothesline and pins him at 10:08.  This was OK.  2 for 5.

Call of the Action with Lord Alfred Hayes.  This time we’re profiling Shane Douglas, as we watch him squashing some ninja geek and then Hayes does a slow motion call of the moves, including his flying bodypress which is called a “flying crucifix” here.  Shane as a blue eyed high flying babyface is a pretty funny phase for him.

Marty Jannetty v. Paul Roma

From MSG in September, the same show as the six-man earlier.  Marty gets some shine to start and slugs away on Roma in the corner, but he gets tossed and Hercules gives him a cheapshot. Back in, Marty tries a sunset flip and gets blocked, so he slips under Roma and slugs away, only for Roma to beat him down.  Roma chokes him out on the ropes and goes up with a flying clubbing forearm, and that gets two.  Pair of backbreakers into a powerslam follow, and Paul stops to celebrate with Herc, so it only gets two.  Marty with a backslide for two and Roma lays him out again, but Marty gets a small package for two.  Roma goes to a headlock, beats Marty down some more, and then goes to a chinlock.  That goes on for a while as he uses the ropes, but Marty fights back and makes a comeback with a suplex and they slug it out.  Marty gets a back elbow and kneelift and goes up with a bulldog and flying fistdrop for two.  Herc makes the save and Marty chases him out of the ring, but Herc trips him up and Roma falls on top for the pin at 13:44.  S--- finish to a s--- match.  2 for 6.

FAN FAVORITE MATCH:  Big Bossman v. Ted Dibiase

This one was requested by the Humphrey family of West Palm Beach, FL, and luckily they had 150 matches between these two in the can and ready to go!  This one is from Providence in August at a Superstars taping, and we of course get the big stall from Dibiase to start.  Bossman gets the 10 turnbuckle shots and slugs away on him, then follows with an atomic drop and sends Dibiase to the floor before taking off his belt and choking Ted with that.  How is THAT law and order?  He’s blatantly cheating!  In a technical note, the Superstars banner is blurred out, so this is the WWE 24/7 edit of the tape.  Virgil finally gives Dibiase the nightstick and Ted puts Bossman down with it, but what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.  But also,  two wrongs don’t make a right.  I think we’ve all learned something here.  They head to the floor and Dibiase runs him into the post and the stairs for good measure, and then goes to work on the back in the ring.  Dibiase works him over and goes up with a double axehandle to the back and puts the boots to him.  Dibiase with a clothesline, but Bossman fights back from his knees, so Dibiase hits him in the injured ribs again and then goes to a bearhug.  Bold strategy, Cotton, we’ll see if it pays off.  Dibiase puts him down and goes up, but of course Bossman nails him on the way down and makes the comeback, cleaning house on both Dibiase and Virgil, and that’s a DQ at 11:02, as Vince screws over the Humphreys Family of West Palm Beach Florida in the Fan Favorite match that they asked to see.  Yeah, that checks out.  Match was fine.  3 for 7.

WWF Outrageous Hits!  This is a compilation of guys doing finishing moves, with a semi-notable inclusion of Undertaker as one of the guys, which is interesting because he would have only just debuted at the time this tape was being put together.

Intercontinental title:  Mr. Perfect v. Jake Roberts

We’re at a Superstars taping in Utica in August, before Perfect dropped the belt at Summerslam of course.   Now THIS is a match that we didn’t see much of.  Perfect attacks in the corner and slugs away, but misses a charge and Jake goes to work on the arm.  Jake with a hammerlock and he drops knees on it and continues working the arm until Perfect bails to escape.  Back in, Jake teases the DDT and then backdrops Perfect to the floor and goes after Bobby.  This allows Perfect to attack Jake and run his arm into the post.  Back in, Perfect calmly starts doing his own work on the arm, holding a hammerlock while grabbing the ropes and shaking off his own arm injury while doing so.  That’s a nice touch.  Jake fights up, so Perfect takes him down and goes back to the arm again with what is nearly a cross armbreaker.  Jake fights up, but puts his head down and gets booted for two.  Hayes notes that Perfect “put the sugar sack hold on him!” while making the pin, and Sean Mooney demands an explanation for that one.  Yeah, I’m with Mooney there.  What Hayes describes sounds like a head and arm choke, basically.  Jake fights back with the short clothesline, but Bobby Heenan comes in for the DQ at 10:21 while Jake tries the DDT.  So the heels toss the ref and bring the snake in so that Perfect can do a Perfectplex onto the snake, but of course Jake reverses to a DDT.  Pretty decent match, but they only ever had a couple of house matches after this and never interacted again otherwise.  4 for 8.

A decidedly average and inoffensive outing, nowhere near “super” but certainly a “tape”, so at least the title was half right.