The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 02.15.86

The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 02.15.86

OK, I know the 82 stuff gets ignored on here, but I don’t get why there’s not more love for 86.  It’s Jim Crockett Promotions in its prime!  This is the closest we’re ever getting to Worldwide Wrestling the Network so I’m going back to it again.  SO THERE.

Taped from Charlotte, NC

Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Johnny Weaver

The Rock & Roll Express join us to start, having lost the World tag team titles to the Midnight Express on the Superstars on the Superstation special in a pretty great match.  Ricky Morton promises to get his hands on Jim Cornette and “turn him every way but loose”.  I never got that saying.

Manny Fernandez v. Mike Simani

The Bull takes Simani into the corner for some chops and follows with the FLYING BURRITO for the pin at 0:45.  0 for 1.

Cowboy Ron Bass joins us, still trying to trick the world into thinking he can be a babyface.  He’s literally got an Oilcan Harry moustache!  Good people don’t grow those, it’s only weird billionaires who open up factories and staff them with orphans because they work cheap and no one will miss them!

Arn Anderson joins us, and he notes that you can look at his face and tell he’s been smacked around a lot.  But Dusty Rhodes and his LOADED BOOT have crossed the line by putting Ole Anderson on the shelf and costing them the National tag team titles.  But Arn’s still the TV champion and if Dusty wants a piece of it, come out and face him and don’t send his stooge Baby Doll out there on his behalf.

The Rock N Roll Express v. Gene Ligon & Art Fleming

They finish Ligon with the double dropkick at 0:38 before I can even finish looking up the names of the jobbers.  Seems to be a theme tonight.  The women in the audience barely had time to throw their panties at Ricky!  0 for 2.

Last week, Magnum is on the verge of beating Ivan Koloff, but Nikita and Baron Von Raschke come in for the 3-on-1 beatdown and destroy him.  Dusty tries to make the save and he gets clobbered by Nikita, and then Baby Doll runs in as well and the Russians are about to put her in her place before Dusty takes the bullet himself and the Road Warriors make the save for real.

Black Bart v. Ron Rossi

Bart quickly slams the geek and hits the flying legdrop at 0:32.  Weaver:  “He really squashed Ron Rossi!” notes drunk Weaver.   I guess a fifth of scotch before the show shatters kayfabe inhibitions too.  0 for 3.

The Midnight Express v. Rocky King & Ben Alexander

Bobby can’t help but smile at their good fortune in winning the belts, but Condrey is a miserable fuck as usual.  You’re the champions!  Crack a smile maybe!  The Express quickly double-teams Alexander and finishes with the STO into a flying splash from Bobby at 1:05.  Well at least this one broke a minute.  0 for 4.

Meanwhile, Sam Houston and Nelson Royal join us, and oh yeah, Sam Houston is still Mid-Atlantic champion as that belt continues to circle the drain.  Sam promises that Nelson has taught him a new bulldog move and they’ll be winning matches with it.  Good luck there.

Meanwhile, Dusty Rhodes is in the showers after the attack from the Russians and he’s DISGUSTED that anyone would attack him and go after Baby Doll.  Maybe they confused her with a wild moose?  Anyway, Magnum would also like to swear revenge on the assorted communists and communist sympathizers causing them trouble.

Sam Houston & Nelson Royal v. Jim Jeffers & Tony Zane

The faces clear the ring, but Houston gets trapped in the jobber corner for a minute before Royal comes in and turns the tide again.  Double elbow on Jeffers and Houston slugs him down and follows with a dropkick.  Nelson Royal gets his own dropkick as the girls shriek for the 51 year old balding babyface, and Houston monkey flips Jeffers out of the corner and then Royal comes in and works on a headlock.  I should point out that every other match thus far has run under a minute and THIS is the one they choose to run long?  Royal hits a kneelift on Jeffers for two and Houston gets an atomic drop for two and then takes Zane down with a spinning toehold, before Royal switches in and gets his own toehold to finish at 4:45.  So they spent the ENTIRE MATCH putting over this fucking bulldog from Houston and they won with a spinning toehold instead, from Nelson Royal no less.  0 for 5.

Jim Cornette and the Midnight Express do a triumphant promo (“They said Rock N Roll is here to stay, but it’s a good thing we didn’t pull up a chair because it didn’t stay too long!”) but Cornette does acknowledge that the Rock N Rolls are the second-best team in the world, but now they’re done and finished and they can move onto any other team.  Bobby just looked so goofy and happy in the background there.  How can you not love these guys?

Paul Jones is sick and tired of people wearing “Weasel Slapper” t-shirts to live events!  Wait, really?  That sounds like something you’d look up on Urban Dictionary, like a slang term for a sex toy.

Cowboy Ron Bass v. George South

South tries a headlock and gets thrown across the ring, and tries it again and the same thing happens.  Not sure what he was expecting there.  Bass overpowers him and gets some slams, sending South running into the corner, and out for the claw, which finishes at 3:05.  0 for 6.

Sam Houston & Nelson Royal join us again, and now they’re throwing out challenges to the Midnight Express after beating a couple of ham & eggers.  In fact, Nelson Royal promises that Jim Cornette will be walking funny when he’s done with him.  Um.  OK then.

Baby Doll gets promo time.  Yeah.

World TV title:  Arn Anderson v. The Italian Stallion

Arn’s all distracted by Dusty Rhodes and people chanting for him, which allows Stallion to take him down and work a hammerlock for a bit.  Arn has had enough of that pretty quickly and he breaks free and tosses Stallion.  Back in, Arn goes to work and you gotta give this crowd something, they have been chanting for Dusty literally non-stop for the entirety of the match thus far.  So after putting over Stallion as a “great young talent” earlier in the match, Johnny Weaver is now buying Arn for facing a loser like this and not “real challengers” like Jimmy Valiant.  PICK A LANE, WEAVER.  Actually I’d rather not have him on the road in his condition, never mind.  Stallion fights back and makes a comeback with a back elbow for two, but he’s got no follow-through and Arn hits him in the gut and goes back to the arm again.  And this crowd just will not let go of the Dusty chants.  Arn works the arm, and works the arm, and works the arm and even the caffeinated teenyboppers in the audience can’t keep up the energy after 5 minutes of that.  Stallion finally breaks free and makes a comeback, but he walks into a spinebuster and Arn finishes with the Gourdbuster at 10:34 to retain.  This was fine.  1 for 7.

SAM HOUSTON AGAIN?  Fuck.  Anyway, they’re still yapping about the Midnight Express, but at least this time Manny Fernandez joins them and throws out a coked-out challenge to Arn Anderson as well.  And since we can’t top a THIRD promo from Sam Houston & Nelson Royal, there’s nothing left to do but wrap up the show for the week.

I love this show a lot but there sure wasn’t much happening this week.