The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 09.10.21
OMG! After I complained about Fite.TV leaving commercials in the shows, they EDITED OUT THE COMMERCIALS this week! I mean, obviously I’m tight with both TK and the Fite guys and we share ideas over caviar and champagne smoothies on Thursdays while yachting and waiting for the accounting department to cut me a cheque, so either one could have done it to avoid further raking over the coals in the rants. But either way, you’re welcome, and I promise to use my awesome influence only for evil and making money.
Taped from Cincinnati OH.
Your hosts are Jim Ross, Mark Henry, Tony Schiavone & Taz
Andrade v. Pac
It’s the battle of people that you probably forgot were NXT champions! No entrances as they pick it up in the ring for introductions, and they slug it out right away, but Andrade gets the shotgun dropkick on the mat and takes over with chops in the corner. Pac takes him down with a rana to put him on the floor, however, and follows with a tope before tossing him into the railing. Meanwhile the announcers joke about how Excalibur has been getting married for three days now, and everyone at the ceremony was wearing masks. Back in the ring, Pac brings the chops and a snapmare gets one, but Andrade hits him with a big boot and slingshots into a DDT on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING. That looked like it sucked. Pac bails and Andrade hits him with a springboard twisting dive and back in for two off that. Pac retreats to the apron and Andrade brings him back in via the top rope and then hangs him in the Tree of Woe to the outside and hits him with the double stomp and they’re both out on the floor as we take a break. Back with Andrade going up with a springboard moonsault for two. Pac fights back with a rana and hits Andrade with a pump kick in the corner to come back before putting Andrade down with a superkick and it’s a double down. They fight to the apron and Andrade tries a sunset bomb to the floor, but Pac reverses out and superkicks him. He goes up, but Andrade hangs in the Tree of Woe again for another double Stomp, but this time Pac pulls himself up and moonsaults Andrade to the floor. Back in, Pac with a 450 for two, but Andrade is in the ropes. Pac goes up again, but Andrade hits a Pele and goes for the DDT, which Pac escapes in the corner and follows with a german suplex. And then a belly to belly into the corner, but he slingshots into the ring and Andrade catches him. Pac reverses that into the Brutalizer, but Andrade’s manager distracts the ref with a stun gun, allowing Chavo to run in and nail Pac, putting Andrade on the top for the pin at 16:00. Definitely Andrade’s best match in AEW by far. ****
And in an interesting twist, Andrade finds out that Chavo interfered for him, and he turns on Chavo because he wanted to win by himself. And then the Lucha Bros take out Chavo as well and throw him in for some punishment by Pac, which all feels like a farewell to Chavo. No big loss, really.
Darby Allin joins us to respond to Tully’s challenge, and Sting continues the EVER SO SUBTLE teases by accusing Tully of riding on Ric Flair’s coattails. But then Tully comes out to respond and that distracts Sting while Shawn Spears takes out Darby from behind. Seems like an odd tag team match to be building, but it’s all gotta be a long game to get Flair on TV.
Meanwhile, Adam Cole (bay bay) talks about how he trusts the Elite with his life and he’s going to wipe the floor with Bryan Danielson. And then Bryan responds by noting he’s not going after Adam Cole (bay bay), he’s going after Kenny Omega, but if Kenny doesn’t want to step up, someone else will surely take him up on it.
Dr. Britt Baker DMD & Rebel & Jamie Hayter v. Riho & Ruby Soho & Kris Statlander
I nominate Riho and Soho to be a team called ‘Hos Before Bros. Everyone in agreement? Good then. Riho gets a dropkick on Britt’s nose to start and then Statlander comes in and works the arm before hitting a powerslam for two. So Rebel comes in and immediately gets double-teamed by a wacky Riho and Statlander team before running away and letting Hayter give it a try. Riho gets a 619 on Hayter for two, but Rebel earns her pay with a cheapshot from the apron and the heels take over. We take a break and return with Hayter holding a chinlock on Riho before antagonizing the babyfaces, and it’s hot tag Ruby. She hits Hayter with a superkick and STO for two. Over to Statlander, but Hayter manages to overpower her with a backbreaker for two. Rebel and Hayter double-team Kris, but Statlander fights back with a double suplex on them and makes the comeback. Rollup gets two on Rebel, but Britt breaks it up with a double knee. Statlander takes out Britt with a falcon arrow and Riho goes up onto Statlander’s shoulders and lands on Rebel with a double stomp. And then Ruby finishes Rebel with the Riot kick at 9:00. Decent little match. **1/4
Brian Pillman Jr v. Max Caster
Caster of course goes for the cheap heat by insulting the chili place they won’t shut up about this week, before Bowens cuts him off because “he’s already on thin ice”. Wouldn’t you want to go to, like, Texas or New Mexico for real chili anyway? It’s like Chicago thinking they know how to make hot dogs and pizza. Pillman quickly cleans house on the Acclaimed and tries a dive, but they jump him on the floor and Caster takes over and slugs away in the ring. Forearm gets two for Caster and he chokes Pillman out on the ropes and drops a knee for two. Caster hits him with a back suplex and tosses him, and Bowens gets some more punishment out there and throws Pillman back in. Caster with a back elbow for two and he goes to a chinlock, but Pillman fights back with clotheslines and slugs away in the corner. He goes up and fights off Bowens, but that allows Caster to cut him off and try for the superplex. Pillman fights that off too and hits Bowens with a dive to the floor, but that allows Caster to hit him from behind again. Back in, Caster goes up and misses a flying elbow, and Pillman hits Air Pillman for the pin at 6:38. But then Bowens goes with the sneak attack in a show of poor sportsmanship, so Jon Moxley makes the hometown maniac save and the babyfaces celebrate to end the show. Match wasn’t really what you’d call good or anything as both guys seemed to have nerves but it was nice to see the hometown kid getting the big hometown win. **
A great match and an easy to watch hour as usual makes for a fun show on a Friday night.