The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 09.28.85

The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 09.28.85

Screw it, I can’t find anything else on the WWE Network at the moment because they literally removed the sections for all the old WWF TV shows last week and haven’t added them back again.  Why would I want to watch classic WWE content on the WWE Network? THAT’S MADNESS.

The level at which they do not give a shit about their own product and consumers at the moment would be mind-boggling if we all hadn’t grown accustomed to it by now.  They’ve got Peacock’s money, why should they care about actually maintaining the version of the Network for the rest of the world?

Taped from Shreveport, LA

Your hosts are Boyd Pierce & Bill Watts

Meanwhile, in Tulsa, Kevin and Kerry Von Erich get presented with a giant “Get Well” card for Mike Von Erich by the fans.  Kerry, too high for his own good, gets paranoid and worries that everyday objects are growing to giant sizes around him and thinks it might be because of some bad coke he got from a guy behind the arena.

Last week, Dr. Death faces Dick Murdoch for the North American title, but Butch Reed accidentally gets involved while trying to deal with Bob Sweetan’s interference and Murdoch turns on him.  Not sure what about Butch Reed would lead Dick Murdoch not to trust him.

Ted Dibiase returns from Japan, and since Ric Flair will only defend the NWA World title against the North American champion, he’s throwing his name into the hat and announcing his intentions to go after both titles.  And he also calls out Bob Sweetan for losing his half of the tag team titles after BEGGING him to carry Ted’s half of the belts.  And then he blew it.  So Sweetan throws Doc under the bus, at which point Dr. Death turns on Bob and teams up with Dibiase to beat him up.  Hey, Dr. Death knows which side his bread is buttered on.  Dibiase tells Williams to “go take care of Sweetan”, but Bob makes an unlikely babyface comeback and grabs a chair, beating on Doc and Dibiase to clean house.  I think “babyface” is a bad term for Sweetan because his face is pretty ugly and also I think he has to legally remain 100 feet away from anything with “baby” in it.  Dibiase is immediately a breath of fresh air again.  1 for 1.  And of course, we know exactly where this ends up.  Actually you might not, but take my word for it, it’s AWESOME.

Meanwhile, Dick Slater signs his Mid South contract, clarifying that he’s only here for the money and dressed like a pimp.  And he’s got a mysterious lady friend with him, who I believe was later named Dark Journey if I’ve got my timeline right.  Also, clearly this marks the beginning of Slater’s booking tenure for the territory as he’s already positioning himself as a big deal.

Dick Slater v. Broadway Joe Malcolm

So, did Malcolm go to a lot of draws early in his career to earn that nickname?  Slater gives him a neckbreaker and tosses him as Watts describes him as a “double touch bundle of nervous energy”.  Well that’s one way to describe Slater.  Dick drops an elbow and hits a legsweep for two and then finishes with a samoan drop at 1:49.  1 for 2.

Last week, Barbarian and Humongous brutalize Jake Roberts and bust him open, until Jim Duggan makes the save.

The Barbarian & Humongous v. Pat Rose & Tony Faulk

Humongous demolishes Faulk to start and puts him down with an elbow while Cowboy Bill is astonished that two guys with bodies like the heels would listen to a “toad” like Oliver Humperdink.  Over to Barbarian, who swats Rose down, while Watts explains that there’s no money in junior heavyweights and you’ve gotta bulk up and face monsters like these two if you want to succeed.  They finish Rose with a Hart Attack at 1:56.  1 for 3.  However, this team had a good look going and might have been something pretty notable if John Nord hadn’t flaked out as usual.

Mad Dog Buzz Sawyer joins us after getting fired from the WWF and cuts a crazed promo on Jim Ross, bitching about how he “slapped around Hulk Hogan and was too tough for them in New York”, to introduce him to the territory.

Mad Dog Buzz Sawyer v. Rick Dunn

Mad Dog rubs the jobber’s face in the mat and beats on him in the corner, then hits a powerslam for the pin at 1:00.  I’m guessing Buzz came in as a package deal with Slater but if you can think of someone who fits this promotion better, I’d like to hear it.  2 for 4.

Jerry Grey & The Nightmare v. Jim Duggan & Jake Roberts

The Nightmare is more like a forgotten bad dream at this point.  Duggan slugs the Nightmare into the corner and it’s over to Grey, who tries a bodypress and gets slammed.  Jake comes in and slams Grey, who tries to run away but walks into a fired-up Duggan, and he does a double-take in fear before walking into the DDT at 2:00.  That was a cute finish.  3 for 5.

Mid South TV title:  Butch Reed v. Bad Bob Brown

I was worried it might have been Bulldog Bob Brown but clearly this is a much younger and different person.  They do the test of strength while Cowboy Bill rants about people accusing Reed of being a “musclebound stiff” and says that anyone who thinks he’s a stiff bodybuilder should get into the ring with him.  Brown tries a blind charge and runs into Reed’s knee in the corner, and Butch press slams him for the pin at 3:00.  Yeah, Bob was pretty bad all right.  3 for 6.

Ted Dibiase & Steve Williams v. The Fantastics

Doc immediately overpowers Fulton and knocks him silly, but Bobby comes back with dropkicks and some armdrags to take over.  Doc catches him with a spinning slam and it’s over to Dibiase, so Fulton hits him with armdrags and Rogers comes in for a criss-cross on Dibiase and a small package for two.  Rogers cleans house with dropkicks and the heels bail and regroup.  Meanwhile, Cowboy Bill expresses his concern for the midget that Eddie Gilbert apparently put into the hospital last week in order to reclaim Bill Dundee’s stolen suit.  Is there any more Memphis scenario than Eddie Gilbert brutally attacking a midget and stealing a pink ring jacket?  I mean, maybe if there was a fireball involved, but even then I’m not sure.  Rogers takes a beating from the heels and Doc gets a backbreaker and goes up, missing a flying splash, and Fulton gets the hot tag.  It’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA and Doc and Dibiase collide as the Fantastics hit a double dropkick on Dibiase, but Ted loads up the ISOTONER OF DEATH while Fulton rolls up doc, and the knockout punch puts Williams on top for the pin at 6:11.  Dibiase is immediately looking like a million bucks again.  4 for 7.

OK, so it’s a new booker and we’ve got some new people coming in.  I approve so far.