ECW on Sci Fi
Date: January 30, 2007
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz
We’re done with the Royal Rumble and the big story around here is Bobby Lashley beating Test (again), this time via countout. That isn’t much to go on, but there is something more important around here as Vince McMahon is bringing his Fan Appreciation Night here as well. Let’s get to it.
Vince McMahon arrives and runs into Marquis Cor Von. McMahon seems to be a fan, calling him a breath of fresh air. Cor Von approves and McMahon goes on to find Sandman, who is reading the paper (no). That’s ok, but DRINKING ON THE JOB isn’t. McMahon remembers that he’s the Sandman and asks asks how he got that name. This sends McMahon into a chorus of Mr. Sandman as we flash back to Back To The Future.
CM Punk vs. Matt Striker
Striker forearms away to start but gets leg lariated in the face. There’s a clothesline to the floor and Punk follows him outside for the kicks to the chest. Back in and Striker kicks the rope into Punk’s chest, setting up a hanging swinging neckbreaker for two. The chinlock goes on (with Punk looking like he’s tapping) until Punk makes the comeback you are probably picturing. The powerslam into the running knee in the corner into the bulldog has Striker in more trouble. A backbreaker gives Punk two and he tries a sunset flip, only to have Striker drop down and grab the rope for the pin.
Rating: C-. Punk taking pins, even via cheating, still doesn’t feel right and hopefully it isn’t something that happens very often. He is one of the biggest hopes for the future and while this is far from some career killer, it wasn’t exactly something that seems to be the best idea, especially for Striker of all people.
We look at Undertaker winning the Royal Rumble and showing up on Raw to tease challenging John Cena at Wrestlemania.
Vince McMahon runs into Tommy Dreamer and asks what kind of a name is Dreamer. What could anyone be dreaming about? Dreamer: “Are you serious?” McMahon: “No, I’m Vince.”
Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly
They trade hammerlocks to start until Rob kicks him down. A hurricanrana drops Holly again and there’s a kick to the face for two more. The Alabama Slam is broken up and Van Dam hits a superkick, only to get caught with a running clothesline. A backdrop puts Holly on the floor and the big running dive takes him down again.
We take a break and come back with Van Dam kicking him down and dropping the spinning leg for two. It’s time to go up, meaning Holly can shove him down onto the barricade for a big crash. Back in and the reverse chinlock goes on but Van Dam jawbreaks his way to freedom. Holly kicks him down again and chokes on the rope, setting up the kick to the very lower abdomen for two. The chinlock goes on but this time Van Dam breaks away to hit the running spinwheel kick.
There’s the monkey flip out of the corner into the running kick to the face in the corner. The top rope kick to the head sets up Rolling Thunder but Holly powerbombs him out of the corner for two. Holly goes up top for a change and gets crotched down, only to shove Van Dam down. Van Dam hits a spinning kick to the face but misses the Five Star. Holly’s back gives out on the Alabama Slam attempt but he sends Van Dam into the corner, setting up the Alabama Slam for the pin.
Rating: C. There is something strange about seeing Holly winning a match over Van Dam, as it isn’t like this show has the strongest top of the card in WWE. Hopefully they come up with someone else soon, because I don’t think Holly is the right choice. The match got some time and was good enough, but Van Dam losing to Holly is weird.
Vince McMahon runs into Sabu, making him think he’s in Afghanistan. Vince: “It’s a member of the Taliban!” Sabu needs to stay away from him.
Post break, Vince McMahon runs into Balls Mahoney. He likes the last name, but not so much the first name.
Extreme Expose. This goes on for a bit until Vince McMahon, with security, breaks it up. The women are happy to see him but Vince throws them out of his ring. Security is tossed as well and Vince promises to not be embarrassed like he was last night. This is his first time in an ECW ring and he thinks all of the ECW originals suck. Actually anything about the original ECW sucks, including the people who liked it.
What we need around here are athletes with charisma rather than a bunch of drunken suicidal misfits. We need someone like this man, so here is Elijah Burke, who is rather pleased to be here. After a photo opportunity, Burke talks about how all of his fans are saying amen. The fans call this boring but Burke promises that everyone is going to feel his wrath. Cue the ECW Originals to beat Burke down as Vince is annoyed. The beatdown takes a good while, including Sabu putting Burke through a table.
ECW World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Test
Lashley is defending and this is their third match in eight days. Test gets kicked out to the floor to start but manages to post Lashley. More posting ensues and we take an early break. Back with Test working on the arm he injured during the commercial, including a flying armbar. Lashley manages to post him before the arm can be sent into the post again to get an opening. Some running clotheslines and a running shoulder in the corner set up the delayed vertical suplex. Test misses the big boot and gets caught with an exploder suplex. The running powerslam retains the title.
Rating: D+. Somehow that might be the most competitive of their matches. I know Test was on his way out, but I didn’t need to see this match happen three times in eight days. Lashley dominated him throughout the series and that doesn’t make for the most interesting string of matches. At least they kept it short.
Post match Lashley celebrates but the gong sounds. Cue the Undertaker to stare Lashley down, take out Test for daring to try to interfere, and then look at the ECW Title. Joey is SURE this means Undertaker vs. Lashley at Wrestlemania.
Overall Rating: C-. You can tell that it’s Wrestlemania season as WWE is actually trying to do something for a change. Having Vince around to set up something big with the Originals vs. the new ECW is the kind of thing that could go on for a long way around here. Undertaker isn’t likely to be back around here, but at least they gave us a little tease.
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