The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 06.11.21
Taped from Jacksonville, FL
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross & Excalibur
Meanwhile, the Pinnacle’s limo pulls up.
Christian Cage v. Angelico
We’re back to the usual camera setup, presumably because it’s a taped show and there’s no fans in the arena outside of the wrestlers at ringside. Matt Hardy is representing the Hybrid 2 and he does a promo beforehand, pulling out the Tiger King “You’ll never financially recover from this” line to get a laugh from me. Angelico works the arm to start, but Christian slugs away in the corner to take over, until Angelico takes out the arm again and wraps it up in a wacky submission on the mat. I should note that Angelico has now joined the glorious club of people in AEW with their name printed on their ass, which I always appreciate as a reviewer. Angelico continues twisting the arm around the ropes and the fake crowd noise is REALLY noticeable this week, probably because we just got used to real crowds again. Christian escapes the death roll, but Angelico punts him down again and wraps him up in a wacky armbar variation. I like that they have guys like Angelico who are 100% different in the ring and they’re totally cool with that. Christian comes back with an inverted DDT out of the corner and makes the comeback with a missile dropkick for two. He gets distracted by Evans and takes a swing at him, but that misses, so Christian goes up with a diving headbutt on Angelico instead and that gets two. Guys with bad necks should not be doing that and JR goes off on it a little bit too. Angelico puts him down with a clothesline and goes up for a splash, but Christian kicks him from the bottom and gets a cradle for two. Angelico manages an enzuigiri from the mat in an impressive spot, and that gets two. They collide for a double down and Christian recovers with the kick out of the corner and diving forearm, and the Killswitch gets the pin at 9:05. But then Big Money Matt comes in and hits him with the Twist of Fate and we get a heel beatdown until Christian’s new friend Jungle Boy makes the save. Really fun opener with a different style than you usually see in the opener. ***1/4
Cody Rhodes joins Tony to introduce Arn Anderson’s son Brock, who debuts as Cody’s partner next week. I can’t see how a Rhodes teaming up with a pair of Andersons could possibly go wrong for him in any fashion. QT Marshall quickly interrupts and buries the opinions of “The IWC”, because he only cares about real paying fans. Well I’ve certainly been told. So QT wants a strap match when they have a real crowd again and challenges Cody to a strap match, and straps Arn with his belt to punctuate that.
Pac, Penta el Zero Miedo & Eddie Kingston v. The Young Bucks & Brandon Cutler
This seems like it would have been the obvious choice to open the show. Don Callis clarifies on commentary that Brandon Cutler is getting “paid with experience” while working for the Bucks. Matt gets pinballed by the babyfaces, so Matt hauls Cutler in to take his beating instead. Pac wallops him and snubs Eddie Kingston, deliberately tagging Penta instead for a Wazzup drop that gets two. Penta gives him the chops and finally lets Kingston into the match, and Eddie hits Cutler with a double stomp for two. Callis: “Man, and he’s still gotta clean the mats in the dojo after the show, too!” Pac comes in and goes after all three Bucks, but Nick hits him with a dropkick to the floor and we take a break. Back with Pac making a comeback and blocking Matt’s swinging DDT and then he makes a very reluctant hot tag to Eddie. Eddie with an exploder on the Bucks and Penta comes in with a flying bodypress on both Bucks, who accidentally hit Cutler with a double superkick. Cutler trips up Penta, but Nick accidentally kicks his own toadie again and Penta hits the driver on Matt for two. Pac and Kingston team up on Matt in the corner and Pac goes up to finish, but Cutler breaks it up. So Kingston goes after Nick, but takes a lariat. Penta saves and chases Nick to the floor before hitting him with a dive, and after all that Pac finally hits Matt with a 450 after being on the top rope for a whole minute. And the Brutalizer follows, but Nick keeps kicking Pac in the face to break it up. So Eddie pleads for teamwork and they toss the Bucks and hit them with stereo dives, but Pac heads back in and Matt rolls him up for two. Pac throws kicks, but Nick breaks it up and they let Cutler have the big moment. So he goes up and misses a legdrop, and Kingston finishes him off with the backfist at 13:05. This brings out the Two Yayhoos From Impact for our second heel beatdown of the evening, but Kazarian makes the save. Started slow but got crazy awesome after the break. ***1/2
Meanwhile, Don Callis presents a video recap of the main event of Double or Nothing, as he blows the lid off the conspiracy to screw Omega and we get some subtitles of the interaction between himself and the ref after the big spot at the end. It seems that Don told him “You sir are a terrible ref” and the ref replied “I just want Kenny to lose the belt!” and then the fans chanted “Thank you Don” in appreciation. Well I think we’ve all learned something and grown today.
The Pinnacle join us to cut their promo in response to the Inner Circle’s challenges, and they’re all angry (Cash doesn’t have a family! He doesn’t give a shit about families!) , but then the limo from the beginning pays off with the Inner Circle popping up on the big screen to smash it up with various hammers and even knifing the tires. And then Hager shows up with a forklift to completely destroy the car. Tremendous stuff.
Meanwhile, Darby Allin tells Sting to stay home next week and he’ll just face Ethan and Scorpio in a handicap match.
TNT title: Miro v. Evil Uno
Miro takes him down and rides him to start, then adds a slam and pounds on him with forearms. Uno tries some chops and Miro is DISDAINFUL about that, and he drags Uno to the floor but accidentally punches the post. Damn, sucks to be that post. Uno manages to hit a senton off that, but Miro immediately hurls him out of the corner with a suplex and we take a break. Back with Miro taking out Stu Grayson outside, but Uno makes a comeback in the ring and puts Miro down with a big boot. Uno goes up with a senton and that gets one. So the entire Dark Order comes out to cheer him on and Uno gets fired up and stomps the hands and then sends him into the turnbuckles for two. Uno goes with the Brodie Lee lariat, but Miro just absorbs it and hits his own. And then he puts Uno in the GAME OVER right in front of the Order and taps him out at 9:40 to end it. This was a fun slobberknocker with a nice story with Uno trying to channel Brodie and not quite succeeding. ***
Andrade El Idolo: Face of Latinos. He’s certainly a sharp dresser.
Kenny Omega joins Tony in the ring, and they accuse Jungle Boy of being a one-hit wonder, just like his entrance music. Kenny isn’t into the idea of selling this match but he respects JB a little bit. Too bad he doesn’t have the guts to face Kenny in the ring tonight. This brings Jungle Boy out and Kenny scoffs at Jungle Boy’s non-existent promo skills, so JB tells him that he talks too much and attacks. He nearly gets Omega in the STF, but the Young Bucks make the save.
Meanwhile, Jade Cargill and “Smart” Mark Sterling announce that revenues are up 43% across the board, and she’s still that bitch. Good to know.
Meanwhile, Ethan Page and Scorpio Sky think that Darby is pretty dumb to face them alone next week.
Lance Archer v. Chandler Hopkins
Not a good night for Hopkins, who gets slammed and chokeslammed and Blacked Out at 0:45. What, no heel beatdown to end this segment?
Meanwhile, the Wingmen throw down the challenge to Orange Cassidy. Yes, apparently Wish Ziggler has a stable now.
Nyla Rose v. Leyla Hirsch
Nyla attacks before the bell and gets a slam, but Leyla takes her down with the cross armbreaker and Nyla makes the ropes. Dropkick puts Rose on the floor and Leyla follows with a tope, but Nyla catches her and rams her into the apron to take over. Leyla tries an armbar on the floor, but Nyla drops her on the railing to break. Back in the ring, Nyla drops a knee for two. We take a break and return with Leyla rights back from the apron with a german suplex into the ring and a knee strike. Triple jump moonsault gets two. She goes for the armbar again, but Nyla slams out of it. They fight to the top rope and Nyla fights her off and then blocks a rana with a powerbomb off the top for the pin at 8:45. I’m not feeling this reheating of Nyla Rose as the first challenger, but hopefully it’s a TV thing and Britt moves onto a real challenger soon. **
Brian Cage & Powerhouse Hobbs v. Hangman Page & 10
Cage beats on Hangman in the corner right away, but Page gives him the sliding lariat, which Cage catches and turns into a crucifix for two. Cage beats on him, but Page gets an elbow and brings in 10 as he runs wild. Hobbs gets the cheapshot from the apron and Team Taz gets a double powerbomb for two. Hobbs chokes him out on the ropes and we take a break. Back with 10 escaping a fireman’s carry from Cage, but Hobbs cuts off the tag attempt. Finally Page gets the hot tag and hits Hobbs with a clothesline, but he dives on Cage and gets caught. Cage threatens a post powerbomb, but Page reverses to a rana and then moonsaults into the ring on Hobbs and gets two. Hobbs puts him down again with a crossbody for two and Cage hits 10 with a 619. Page slugs Hobbs down, but Hobbs is in the ropes, so 10 comes in with a spinebuster and the full nelson. Cage breaks that up and comes in with a german suplex, and Team Taz hits 10 with a High-Low for two. Hook takes the ref and Ricky Starks throws the FTW belt in for Cage to use, but he doesn’t want it and chases Starks to the back. Hobbs is left alone and hits 10 with a spinebuster for two, but Page saves. 10 comes back with a cutter and the Buckshot Lariat finishes at 11:21 as 10 gets to make the pin in a nice touch. And then Hangman and the Dark Order drink some beers to end the show. Kind of sloppy but no one was watching by this time of the night anyway, I’m sure. **1/4
I thought it was a much better show this week, although again it dropped off a lot by the end of the night. Still, it flew by as usual and thankfully had a lot less going on in every match.