The Thursday PRIME TIME Thread: May 13, 2021

“Good evening, wrestling fans, and welcome to Thursday Night.  We have a big weekend coming up, and Bobby and I will be ready to get you into it.”

“And you’d better believe we’ll be more coherent than a Cody Rhodes promo.”

“Are you really trying to anger one of the top companies here, Brain?”

“Why?  Are we on the payroll?”

“Don’t start, Brain.  Saturday sees IMPACT Wrestling go Under Siege, with a huge six-man main event!  Kenny Omega, Doc Gallows, and Karl Anderson will square off against Eddie Edwards, Dave Finlay IV, and Juice Robinson!  In addition, we’ll find out tonight who takes on Josh Alexander for the X Division title!”

“And don’t forget — Jordynne Grace and Rocco are defending their tag titles.”

“Rocco?”

“Isn’t it Paul Ellering’s kid?”

“Rachael!  Rocco was a dummy!”

“That’s not nice to say about Rachael.”

“You don’t have a clue!  And then on Sunday, we get WrestleMania Backlash from the Thunderdome!”

“Wait, you say I don’t have a clue?  Is it WrestleMania or Backlash?”

“It’s WrestleMania Backlash.”

“Are they just making names up now?”

“Anyway, we’re going to see Roman Reigns taking on Cesaro for the Universal Title, while the WWE Championship will be defended when Lashley–”

“–the ALL MIGHTY Lashley!”

“Right, The All Mighty Lashley defends against both Drew McIntyre and Braun Strowman in a triple threat match.”

“Triple threat matches are all the rage, aren’t they?  Even AEW’s doing them nowadays.”

“Kind of a surprise announcement there.  So who do you think has the advantage going into Double or Nothing?”

“Oh, I gotta believe it’s PAC.  Omega looked like he wanted nothing to do with the other guys.  And Cassidy?  He’ll be put back to sleep in a heartbeat on May 30.  Put my money on the Brit.”

“…would you say the same thing about Anthony Ogogo’s chances against Cody Rhodes?”

“Absolutely!  Cody’s gonna get hit in the liver so hard he’ll vomit up all that tattoo ink on his neck.”

“Well, those are your thoughts anyway.  Folks, it’s time for our feature bout of the evening as we pay respects to another great wrestler from across the pond, Douglas Williams!  Here he is facing Sugar Dunkerton!  Let’s go to the tape.”

“Does Chris Jericho know Pete’s in this one?”

“Why don’t you tell him?”

“I don’t wanna get hit in the face with alcohol — either by his truck or by him when he’s had one too many.”

Bring the insanity!